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Ekaterina, Mr. President wants to see you.
Olga, give him Clonazepam.
We ran out.
Nadezhda forgot to order it.
Give him a Relanium then.
Looks like the president’s schedule just changed.
We’ll reach out to you, general, to arrange a new appointment.
Tamara, let him in.
Mr. General!
The President has found time for you after all.
Mr. President.
How are the things in Europe?
People are starving.
Forced military enlistment has caused men to flee abroad.
Immobilize the arm.
How large is the migration wave?
Women have gathered along the border.
They’re asking us to let them into Belarus.
Our allies commented on this as follows:
The West talks so much about human rights,
but unleashes dogs on women at the Polish border.
Considering the development of democracy and...
...freedom of speech,
it is the West that should be labeled totalitarian.
I won’t get in.
Could you please help us?
We, as honorable people, can open that border.
Ok, give the President the intramuscular injection of Relanium.
Of course.
What about the UK?
Bicycles became their main transportation.
Have they fallen into poverty?
Disruptions in the supply chain have led to a surge in fuel prices.
This will put you at ease, Mr. President.
They can't even afford to heat their homes.
Inflation has reached its highest level in 30 years.
Turns out that their sanctions
have affected themselves the most.
And what about the U.S.?
Their interference in the affairs of other nations...
...to reduce their energy dependence upon us,
has led to an increase
in global warming and weather-related catastrophes.
This has cost the USA roughly $165 billion
alone in the past year.
We estimate,
by 2027, this figure should reach the trillion dollar mark.
This will be followed by a mass exodus of Americans.
Why?
Due to flooding of coastal cities
and expansion of deserts and extreme heat
with temperatures up to 60 degrees Celsius.
It will be impossible for comfort- accustomed Americans to exist.
Mr. President,
one, two, three.
And up.
Stop defending him!
You'll kill him, Goria!
I won't let you baptize this bastard!
Sit down and eat!
Look what he's making me do.
Look whom I've become because of him.
Eat.
Cold food's bad for your stomach.
Cousins Maria Ivanovna and Vladimir Spiridonovich Putin
from Leningrad have always wanted a child.
Mom, please don't do this.
I can't protect you from your stepfather any longer.
Forget me.
Why?
We... We won't see each other again.
I'm sorry
I'm not baptized.
Congratulations on your new position
with the presidential administration.
Come.
I'll introduce you to Yeltsin.
Who would have thought?
The president has been going through some hard times lately.
On February 12th, the Security Council
of the Russian Federation made a decision to
physically neutralize Dzokhar Dudayev.
Dzokhar's death would seal our victory in Chechnya.
Okay, help me.
Help me carry him to the bathroom.
Sorry.
You know, Boris may feel uncomfortable if he sees a stranger in his shower,
so wait for us in the office.
Look.
He's making himself at home.
Had you listened, dumbass,
this chair would already be yours.
Mr. President.
I've cooked so many things for you, you know?
Dumplings with meat,
I hope you like them.
And jam rolls.
All kids love jam rolls.
We have a room for you.
I think you'll love it.
This is my son. He's a little explorer.
He just came back from an exotic trip from the Krasnoyarsk region.
He was at his grandparents there.
Please, treat him well. He's someone special.
Just be home before nine.
Excuse me, what's this line for?
Is there something to eat there?
A pickle?
When you hold vodka in your mouth, it gets absorbed faster.
The red face there robbed a liquor store last night.
He keeps the vodka in his bathtub and only brings it out in that fish tank.
A pickle?
No.
Wake up.
Money?
A pickle?
Yes.
Will you buy me a round, too?
No.
Why not?
I have no money.
I'll keep what I'll find.
No, I said no!
Samiel! Samiel!
Get him!
You must stand up to them, or you'll have no life here.
Samiel! Samiel!
- Samiel! - Samiel!
Okay, he's good.
If you wanna be one of us, you have to remember:
it's better to die standing than live on your knees.
Can I get my money back now?
I'll show you how to earn it.
Do it.
I know how to kill Dzokhar Dudayev.
For three days, all the power sources in Chechnya
that might interfere with tracking Dudayev's phone should be disabled.
To reduce flight time,
all our aircraft should be on standby,
along with the airborne AWACS-type lab.
The air-to-ground missiles of the Russian SU-27 fighter jets
should be coded to detect the signal from Dudayev's phone.
All we need to do
is wait for him to make a call.
Sure.
There is a small problem, though.
You'd need to know the codes
for the Saturn satellite phone network
that Dudayev uses.
There is a guy who knows them.
Do not hesitate.
There is a guy who knows them.
What guy?
Bill Clinton.
March 13th, 1996,
will go down in history,
but not only as the day of the anti-terrorist forum in Egypt.
It will also be stamped on the pages of history books
as the day on which the whole free world came together
in the fight against terrorism.
I would like to welcome
the President of the United States of America,
Mr. Bill Clinton.
Set it up, Kurbanov.
Mr. President, let's refrain from making phone calls for a while.
Shut your mouth.
I'm happy to see your joy at being a second term president.
Volodya!
Come on.
Sadly, you won't last long enough to see the end of it, Boris.
General Lev Yakovlevich Rochlin
has turned the army against you.
The 8th Volgograd Corps which he commanded in Chechnya.
The power in the country will be taken over by his party,
Our Home - Russia.
Lova!
No, no, please!
But if you want,
things could take a different turn.
How!
In a moment,
Lev Rochlin
will be shot dead by his wife.
Boris!
You forgot to ask
what I want in return?
We have an order to take Nikolay Dmitrievich Kovalyov.
Is he being detained?
To the Kremlin.
You're coming with us.
Nikolay! What's going on?
I’m the director of the Federal Security Service!
Not anymore. Based on a presidential decree,
you will delegate your powers
to the newly appointed FSS director Vladimir Putin.
What's each of you responsible for?
Espionage Department.
Antiterrorist Department.
Russia's Federal Security Service Academy.
Department of Forward Studies and Strategic Planning.
HR and Management Department.
Information Security Center.
Directorate A.
Head of the Organizational and Inspection Board
of the Personnel and Organizational Department
of the Federal Security Service,
Nikolai Platonovich Patrushev.
You will put your current tasks aside
and focus on collecting intelligence on just one target.
What's the target?
Boris Yeltsin.
You can see me?
I was exiled here for my sins, just like you.
Welcome to the most forsaken place on Earth.
Those are the most wanted men in the entire Soviet Union.
They are hiding from the law enforcement on this contaminated land.
How did you end up here?
My mother.
That woman, she hated me.
She said I destroyed her life when I was born.
So, I have dedicated mine to saving other girls.
How?
I stole them from bad mothers.
What's your name?
Call me Legion.
For I am many.
They are walking on cesium.
A radioactive metal that penetrated the soil
after the reactor failed in Chernobyl.
Cesium penetrates your muscles
and internal organs.
Is there anyone in town who can get to it?
That’s the guy.
Ivan Petrov - goes by Misiey.
He used to be an army scientist in Chernobyl.
His wife and children died after the meltdown.
When the light turns a vivid red,
there's a lot of cesium.
Now he’ll use the aluminum to get out the radioactive soil.
And extract pure cesium.
Do you want to hear more?
Why hasn't he kicked the bucket yet?
Wasn't that thing supposed to be deadly?
Do not fail me.
It's Prussian blue.
The damn army always has inventions that are 20 years ahead.
You can also use cesium to poison those you've wanted to kill in a cruel way.
The KGB will buy it in bulk from us.
Pay him!
You kill him - you only get what's here.
You pay him, you gain a supplier of an infinite amount of cesium.
That you'll be able to sell for a fortune.
What's it gonna be, Vova?
You took my advice to heart, Vova.
But events have changed.
Run back to the villa instead
and save the files of the KGB agents
in the German Democratic Republic.
They are gonna be worth more than the cesium soon.
6,000 Bundeswehr sappers have just begun blowing up
the Berlin Wall, Vova.
The people you hear are overthrowing your regime
at this very moment.
Where do you think they're headed now?
The files, sir, do we go by the book?
Lieutenant Colonel Vladimir Putin.
I need the assistance of the closest unit of the Soviet Army.
There's nothing we can do. We need an order from Moscow. But Moscow is silent.
The country you serve no longer exists.
Don't.
They're closing in on us, Lieutenant Colonel.
Why don't you try talking to them?
This is a house of friendship between the USSR
and the GDR and we are only interpreters.
Let’s go! Let’s go!
Say, as I tell you.
This is a house of friendship between the USSR and the GDR
and we are only interpreters.
Get in the Wahhabis' Mercedes and run.
Run!
Let's go!
Hey!
Come on! I don't have all eternity!
Hey, my hat!
Shit!
Do you want to lose your briefs, too?
You sell the hats later outside the train station.
Half price.
No foot-bus for us.
Get in.
You know this guy?
We will in a sec.
It's an independent cab.
Where to?
The Hermitage.
All right.
Why are you driving barefoot?
I'm saving my shoes.
Looks like the lights are broken.
Come on, move.
Are you kidding?
I'll pay double for a high-stakes ride.
All right, sure, whatever.
Get out of the car.
Damn pigs.
You know the fine for running a red light?
They rigged the lights to force drivers to break the law.
They want a bribe.
What do you mean?
Forgive me, Colonel, I didn't realize.
Don't even think about it.
Imperialist bloodsucker!
Stop!
My brakes are out, you idiot!
Stop, stop, stop!
You almost ran him over.
He called me a punk!
The white Pobeda is fleeing!
There is nothing but Pobedas in this city.
Give them the plate number.
Can you even reach the pedals?
Of course I can.
I'm driving, aren't I?
Do you know where you're going?
To our yard!
Open the window so the kids can see us, they're gonna lose it!
It won't open.
Look out!
My leg! We gotta run!
I can't straighten it.
We can't leave you here!
Stop!
You'll learn some manners
in a penal colony!
I'll catch-up.
No!
Get them out of here, Vova!
Stop right there!
Go!
Stop or I'll shoot!
Samiel!
Go. Go!
This is my son, Py.
This is Puiltos.
Those three work for me:
Michael,
Gabriel,
Raphael.
Go, join them.
In the beginning was the Word,
and the Word was with God,
and the Word was God.
The same was with God in the beginning.
All things were made by Him;
and without Him was not any thing made that was made.
In Him was life,
and the life was the light of men.
The light shines in the darkness,
and the darkness has not overcome it.
Anyone who will not receive the Kingdom of God
like a little child
will never enter it.
Today you start working for me, Samiel.
How much are you going to pay me?
Nothing.
You lived your childhood years in darkness.
Now you will fish people out of it.
These boys, like you, didn't have an easy childhood.
Here they learn ten simple rules
that might set them on the right path.
Lost a fight to a tiger, buddy?
That one you know.
Vova Putin? How old is he now?
17.
You've grown, skinny.
Or maybe you just look bigger next to him.
Is that really the best you can do?
You remember when we beat you up?
And when I bashed your face, Vova?
You wanna spend your whole life being knocked around?
Then hit him as hard as you can.
Nice.
What a cozy place you got.
In breaking news,
protests have erupted in the capital city of Moscow,
in response to recent announcements
made by Lithuania, Latvia, Estonia and Ukraine
to declare their independence from the Soviet Union.
What will you do in this brave new world, Volodya?
I still have the company’s Volga.
I can work as a cabbie for the rest of my life.
Hurry up.
Move, Vova!
Take it up to fifty.
Run that red light.
I said run it!
Great timing.
What kind of driving is that you idiot?
Volodya.
What a coincidence, brother.
We have to celebrate this.
Do you know this game, Volodya?
In rotten America, they call it paintball.
You shoot pellets to bruise your opponents.
Show your booties, babes.
Oh, maybe I should be wearing this.
The costumes are from America, too.
From... what's its name?
Playboy.
Better to shoot them in the ass or you could shoot their eye out.
Each of us has a different color paint.
The bunny you hit will go to bed with you.
Ready, set, go.
Come on, old man.
Aren't you a sportsman or something?
Hadime!
Like children.
I can give them to you, forever.
Don`t look.
Don`t look!
Only one thing interests me.
Where did you get the Playboy costumes?
And the rest of the gear?
Ever since I made myself a Thief-in-Law,
I can get you any contraband you want, Volodya.
Anything?
Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday dear mayor! Happy birthday to you!
Sorry to bother you, Mr. Mayor,
but Vladimir Putin is here to see you.
He claims to know you,
and he wants to give you his birthday wishes.
Get rid of him.
Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin.
The Special Services officer you met in the Leningrad City Council
before you became mayor.
That KGB clown.
Hey, get that Putin in here.
My warmest wishes for your 54th birthday, Mr. Mayor.
My present came late,
so please forgive me if it takes a moment.
Whatever Putin, forget the present.
Tell me, where did you get those shoes?
A toast for our host's good health.
To the Mayor of Petersburg!
Cheers! To the Mayor!
Dig in, Putin.
Oh, that's right...
You're not really familiar with our fancy food.
This is the caviar, this is the blini, the champagne -
you should know that one, right?
We are living in strange times
when we can stuff our faces with delicacies,
but have nothing to wipe our asses with!
Is that so, Mr. Mayor?
I had no idea.
Of course you hadn't.
The KGB didn't educate you on the consequences
of privatization, the economic reforms,
and the freeing up of the market.
Please explain.
On the fact that there is no toilet paper in Russia?
Excuse me, Mr. Mayor, my gift has arrived.
What a moron.
Where did he get that?
And it's white, not gray.
Don't touch it.
Forgive me, Anatoly Aleksandrovich.
Especially for you, Mr. Mayor.
How did you manage to pull off the impossible?
Hey!
Get it cleaned!
I can do impossible things on the spot.
Impossible things were enough in Leningrad.
Saint Petersburg needs miracles, Volodya.
Can you do miracles?
Well, miracles might take me an extra five minutes.
That's fortunate, because I am looking for a miracle worker
to be the chairman of the Foreign Affairs Committee
for my office.
Make your first wish.
I want a permit from the Ministry of Economy
to export
Russian raw materials out of Saint Petersburg.
Who can issue that?
Avidayev.
A fat pig from the ministry.
He's turned me down three times now.
And he's the reason I started drinking before noon.
Hey, girl!
Have you got the wrong table?
Or is this a deliberate attempt to disrupt my meal?
My friend had a dream that you issued him a permit
to exchange Russian raw materials
for food from the West through the port in this beautiful city.
Unfortunately,
dreams don't always come true in reality.
Now get the hell out of here,
and let me finish my dinner in peace.
Well, I just came here for dessert.
Is this really necessary?
Look, I'm sure we can work something out.
You want me to issue the permit to Sobchak?
It's done.
I want nothing anymore.
Tatiana, baby, it's all good.
You were doing fine.
He twitched, then shattered the plate with his head.
Cause of death...
Pneumonia.
To my first deputy!
- Cheers! - Cheers!
As part of the Raw Materials for Food program,
the Ministry of Russian Economy
has granted me a license
to export primary commodities through
the port in Petersburg.
What does this mean for you, thieves?
It means from now on,
you can sell our
timber, cotton,
tobacco, metals,
oil,
and even the Soviet Army’s munitions.
But from now on,
every thief
who wants to get an export permit
will come to me and pay $250,000
for the meeting.
Anatoly Alexandrovich!
I have to go to the bathroom.
It's less than what you had to spend on bribes.
Anyone who does not accept the deal
must leave immediately.
Ciao, ciao.
I...
I don't think she can make it without her husband.
They had issues.
No, please!
Point blank.
Don't procrastinate. To rebuild the Soviet Union
offer your people a common enemy,
they can unite against.
Invade Chechnya again. Start a war using the Wahhabis
you sold cesium to.
Salam Alaikum.
Wa`alaikum salam. Shamil is expecting you.
What future do you see for the caliphate, brother?
Future?
I don't mean the caliphate in terms of Chechnya.
Then what?
I mean the future in which Shamil
Salmanovich
establishes an Islamic caliphate
all over the Northern Caucasus,
together.
And you're mine, little brother.
First, take over Dagestan.
What about Russia?
Russia has given us the go-ahead.
A group of Chechen units, under the leadership of Shamil Basayev,
have launched a surprise attack on Dagestan,
an autonomous republic within the Russian Federation.
The attack is believed to mark the start of the Second Chechen War.
The Russian military has been deployed to the area
to confront the invading forces.
Have it turned off.
The situation is currently developing and we will continue to provide updates
as more information becomes available.
Turn it off.
And you, get your ass to the nearest window.
Look at those Muscovites.
Do you really think they care about some Dagestani?
They don't give a damn, because 70% of them
don't even know where it is.
For now, I don't need you.
Only the FSS director.
Today in the town of Buynaksk in Dagestan,
a truck filled with explosives has blown up outside
a residential building where Russian soldiers were stationed.
64 people have been killed, and several dozen others injured.
The Russian authorities blame the terrorist attack
on Chechen separatists.
Come on!
Let's go!
Okay, come on, let’s go.
Hey!
There you go.
Thank you.
Today, a tragic incident occurred in the southeast district of Moscow.
An explosion of several hundred kilograms of explosives
on the first floor of a nine story apartment building
caused a loss of 106 lives
while 690 individuals were injured
and 108 apartments were destroyed.
According to an anonymous source,
the incident was a retaliation act by Chechens
in response to the Russian bombardment of Chechen villages.
The authorities have yet to confirm the cause of the explosion
and an investigation is ongoing.
Atta-boy.
Now, let's double it.
September 13th, 1999 was supposed to be
a national mourning day to commemorate the victims
of the previous bomb attack.
However, at 5 a.m. in southern Moscow,
a powerful explosion destroyed an eight story apartment
apartment building at Kashyrskoye Shosse,
Killing, excuse me, are you aware that we are live right now?
Killing 124 people and injuring 7.
My hands feel like clapping.
Two more cities and we're done.
Another explosion outside a nine story apartment building
in Volgodonsk in southern Russia has killed 17 people.
Don't do that.
Stop.
- Ryazan militia station. - How can I help you?
Han g up.
On the evening of September 22nd, a watchful resident in Ryazan
spotted two men carrying bags of sugar
into the basement of his apartment building.
The militia evacuated the tenants and the substance in the bags
tested positive for explosive materials.
The militia has also informed us that a telecommunication company employee
overhead a call in which someone was warned to be alert
for militia patrols.
The number from which the call was made
has been traced back to the FSS office in Moscow.
FSS director, General Nikolai Patrushev,
is our guest today.
It was an exercise carried out by the Moscow FSS office
to establish the level of readiness
of the Ryazan branch of the FSS.
The test of the explosive substance
yielded a false positive result
due to contamination caused by previous testing.
Can you explain to our viewers
why the primers found next to the bags were real?
I can't disclose all the details of our operations.
Thank you for your extensive explanation, general.
We are happy to hear that it was just an exercise
that gave a couple of the residents a heart attack.
The alert resident has been rewarded by the governor
with a coupon for two liters of vodka
and two kilograms of semi-dry kielbasa.
Where do you get those people?
Hit him.
Hit him again.
He's an Arab. We see worse things every day.
Is there anything I can do for you, son?
Can you, father...
baptize me here?
I'll ask when the ceremony of uniting your soul
with that of Jesus can be arranged, Vladimir.
I can't wait for that.
I want you to baptize me now.
The servant of God, Vladimir,
is baptized in the name of the Father.
Amen. And of the Son.
Amen. And of the Holy Spirit,
Amen.
As Prosecutor General of the Russian Federation,
I have initiated a formal inquiry
into certain companies associated with the Kremlin.
It is my duty to ensure justice and transparency
in our nation's dealings,
and I will stop at nothing to get to the bottom of this matter.
You must silence him.
Volodya?
I can't silence everyone, Boris.
The attorney general is after you.
They are too many of them.
What am I supposed to do, then?
It's dangerous to try to keep a secret. Better to forget about it.
It's dangerous to try to keep a secret.
Better to forget about it.
And waiting for death
is much worse than death itself.
Can you be more... specific?
Hand your power over to me.
Only I can save you
and your family from prison.
In order to guarantee immunity,
I must be president.
I deeply apologize
for not meeting your expectations
for a better future.
I could have done more
and could have done it better.
Right now we are setting a precedent.
The transfer of presidential power.
I tried to call, but your secretary
wouldn't give me your number.
Congratulations on your success.
...always offers our people home.
Unfortunately, I failed to be elected
a deputy of the State Duma.
I hope that, considering our old friendship
that you might lend a hand.
Of course you can ignore me,
but if you do decide to help
an old comrade,
I'll be forever grateful.
No need, Anatoly.
There's no need.
Mr. Vladimir Putin.
Did you see my new shoes?
How does it feel to be so close to something
you've been working toward for years?
But imagine:
You won’t become president...
because that scumbag will inform law enforcement
of your past in Petersburg
and you’ll end up in prison.
You think he wouldn't do that?
Then what did he mean by "considering our old friendship"?
Or “an old comrade”?
Do you think he used the word “ignore” by accident?
What about patting you on the arm in a patronizing manner?
He’ll sell you out, even if you offer him a position of a minister.
You’re a tasty morsel
swimming in a pool of piranhas.
Would you rather eat or be eaten?
The elections take place in three months.
I assure you, our country
will not be ungoverned even for a moment.
I am warning that any attempt to abuse the law,
including the Constitution, shall be curbed.
The freedom of speech, thought,
mass communication
and the right to private ownership
are the basic element of a civilized state
and they shall be protected.
And the results are in for the 2000 presidential election
in Russia.
Vladimir Putin has won with 53.44% of the votes.
This marks his victory in the race for the presidency.
We will bring you more details as they become available.
Molodiec!
Can't you see your president wants to kick this crew out, you fool?
Now.
Stop recording.
Wait for Mr. President in the conference room.
What are you so happy about?
About the 53.44%.
It's an embarrassing result.
What would have been the satisfactory result for you, Mr. President?
100.
Let's start this party!
Faster.
Would you rather be a cause or an effect?
A leaf blowing in the wind, or the wind
that blows it?
If you want to be the latter,
it's time you stopped living in the existing reality,
and started creating it instead.
Enter.
Enter!
Mr. President, General Nikolai Platonovich Pyetrushev...,
Patrushev - has arrived.
Bring him in.
Konni.
Mr. President.
Take a seat, Patrushev.
I'm not going to deceive myself
that the explosions sufficiently affected the soul of Russia.
If we want to inspire the modern Russian,
we must offer them something beyond a media circus.
We need a media theater.
This is my opinion.
Now, you say it.
Mr. President, you are...
I'm not going to deceive myself...
I'm not going to deceive myself
that the exploding buildings affected the soul of Russia.
Sufficiently.
I'm not going to deceive myself that the exploding buildings
sufficiently affected the soul of Russia.
Really?
If we want to inspire the modern Russian,
we must offer them
something beyond
a media circus.
We need media theater.
This is my opinion.
A most interesting one.
How are we going to put this theater
into effect then, Patrushev?
Salam Alaikum, brother.
Wa 'alaikum Salaam.
We demand the termination of the war in Chechnya
and an immediate withdrawal of all Russian troops!
Get the mic, fool, they can't hear you in the back.
There are Russian special services guys in the audience.
Follow me.
He's an agent.
Shoot first, then ask.
That one.
And that one.
One more.
Back off! On the stage, now!
He wasn't an agent.
But I just wanted to sit next to you.
And actually I'm torn.
I want to kill you.
But I want to save your child.
How long have you planned this situation to last, Patrushev?
57 hours, Mr. President.
After that time
Russian special units Alpha and Vympel
will storm the theater
killing all 40 terrorists on the spot
by putting bullets in their heads.
That includes the females in suicide vests.
Stop, show us your hands!
Don't shoot, they're releasing a hostage.
57 hours, Mr. President.
After that time, the Russian special units,
Alpha and Vympel, will storm the theater
killing all the 40 terrorists on the spot.
By putting bullets in their heads.
And that includes the females...
And that includes the females
in suicide vests.
Black widow number one.
What amazing strategy, Patrushev.
Get to work.
You also happen to have killed 129 hostages.
It doesn't really matter if you eliminate terrorists, right?
Do we really have to manipulate the election results?
I mean, the president has strong support in opinion polls,
weak opposition, full control over the administration,
the militia, the army, and the special services.
Ignore me.
Do you want to keep working here?
We were just saying, Mr. President.
Tell them to pretend you're not here.
Speak up, as if I wasn't here.
We can't let Mr. President know
we were falsifying the election results.
He wouldn't approve, but the system needs to make it look
like the results are spectacular for the good of our leader
and the country.
Can we assume that the more we manipulate the results
in the electoral committee, the brighter the future
for the local politicians and their regions?
This kind of falsification,
could even be a tribute, with which the Governor
could get away with their future crimes
in his jurisdiction.
Or it could be an illegal subsidy
or...
from the central government
to help reduce debt in the region.
Or to secure a spot on the list of host cities
for the World Cup.
It is crucial though, that the Kremlin never learns
of actual extent of electoral fraud.
Russian politicians and officials wouldn't dare
to report their manipulations to their superiors.
Why not?
Because falsifying the election results means failure
to perform their assigned task.
The presidential elections in Russia have reached
a decisive outcome with President Wladimir Putin
coming out on top in the first round with a commanding 71.2% of the vote.
This is a clear mandate from the Russian people
solidifying President Putin's position as the leader of the nation.
I think he's having a stroke!
Call an ambulance! Quick!
Have you ever considered what will happen
when your successor discovers this mess?
I have a simple puzzle for you, Wladimir.
What must you do to score 100% in every election?
Save the youngest!
If you have to - only shoot the teenagers, yeah?
Stop! Stop, stop, stop!
Wrong again.
We are not Russian soldiers!
Insignia!
Your insignia, dumbass!
We’re not Russian soldiers!
Of course you’re not. Who’d even think that?
We are members of the self-defense movement
of the Russian-speaking citizens of Crimea.
You can't go in there.
The president has a meeting with the Olympic Committee.
What is this?
Olympic medalist
Alina Kabaeva.
I'm asking, what is your hand doing on her butt?
She is my new wife.
I'm erasing you from the history books
Lyudmila.
We’ve seen the President picking mushrooms, fishing, piloting military aircraft,
practicing judo, and talking fondly to a dog.
But now, the President and Prime Minister of the Russian Federation, Vladimir Putin,
has made himself known as a fearless tiger tamer.
The accident happened last Sunday,
in the Ussurisky Nature Reserve, which Vladimir Putin
was visiting to watch scientists research tigers.
During a photoshoot, one of the tigers unexpectedly broke free
- ...and endangered the Viesti TV crew. - Are you totally out of your bloody mind?
Fortunately, the President and Prime Minister, Mr. Vladimir Putin,
took matters into his own hands and, without hesitation...
From now on, you are not allowed to watch television.
Forever.
Tamara.
Yes Vladimir?
Turn off the TV.
Of course.
Cut the Internet, too.
Do you want to keep the computer?
As a non-functional mock-up.
I think it'd be good to keep up appearances, Mr. President.
Some simple screensaver, perhaps?
Fine.
The Constitution of the Russian Federation
must be changed to ensure your lifelong rule.
Doesn't he want to know the results?
What's the point in finding out something that's already been predetermined?
Countrymen, here are the nationwide results of the polls on the
amendments to the Constitution of the Russian Federation.
An overwhelming 77.9% of votes have been cast in favor.
This means that President Vladimir Putin will have the opportunity to remain in
office until 2036, thanks to these historic amendments.
The chamber hasn't helped.
You are falling apart, Vova. It's time to rest. At last, I can take over.
Children,
it is the last hour.
And just as you have heard that the Antichrist is coming.
So now, many Antichrists have appeared.
Where are you? Show yourself.
This is how we know it is the last hour. They went out from us,
but they did not belong to us.
For if they had belonged to us, they would have remained with us.
But their departure made it clear that none of them belonged to us.
You, however, ...
- I'm back from hell. - ...have an anointing from the Holy One.
You're still in it.
...all of you know the truth.
What is hell to you?
A place where all hope is lost.
Hope for what?
Hope of ever seeing Him again.
Any kingdom which is divided against itself is heading for ruin,
and house collapses against house.
So, too, with Satan: İf he is divided against himself,
how can his kingdom last?
In the beginning was the Word,
and the word was with God,
and the word was God.
The same was with God in the beginning.
All things were made by Him;
and without Him was not any thing made that was made.
I've heard that before.
But you didn't listen.
The reason of your existence is to provide people a choice between good and evil.
Regardless of what you do, you will reach the end that He has planned for you.
And you have no way of changing that,
as all evil runs towards its self-destruction.
When will my end come?
Only he knows that.
Do you know what is most beautiful in a global military conflict?
It's totally unpredictable. Like a break shot in pool,
when the balls roll in all directions,
and their trajectory is beyond all control.
Kristina!
You encourage them to do that?!
How could that even cross your mind?
Three of the children are still alive.
Tie them to the bodies of their dead mothers
and put mines underneath them.
The empty strollers in the market square symbolize our murdered angels.
It is them, not any of the world’s armies, who defend Ukraine’s skies today.
We’re calling upon all adults to stand as one in defending
the remaining Ukrainian children and ensuring their future.
Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!
That’s for not telling us where the Ukrainian drone control stations are!
You Nazi scum!
Give me my children back!
Don’t let them hurt the children.
Hey! Hey!
If you turn away from Him, Vladimir
in a little over a year,
I'll make you one of the most important people
in this country.
Turn away from him, Vova, and in three years or so,
I'll give you power over this country. Forever.
And I'll make you the most powerful man in the world.
The course of a global war is not your decision, or anybody else's
because you are all prisoners of an infinite network of mutual interactions.
In the circumstances, a single spark is capable of triggering
a total,
global, unconditional, pervasive, and absolute reaction.
And Russia? What about us?
We are presenting this campaign.
İt’s called “War is Peace”.
It’s a shame I cannot present it to you in its entirety, Mr. President.
Just give me a rundown.
Go ahead.
Well, then...
We find ourselves in a park, sun is shining.
Long shadows fall on vibrant, green grass,
we see joyful men without limbs.
Without limbs?
Yes, some have no legs,
others no arms.
Yet, they are all young and incredibly happy.
Is this campaign targeting war veterans?
No, they're not our target.
We address those
young and healthy boys
who’d gladly sacrifice a leg or an arm for their President Vladimir Putin.
During the war with Ukraine?
We are currently not at war with Ukraine, Mr. President.
We won that conflict within the first two days, remember?
Who will they be fighting against?
The Ukrainians are engaging in forbidden magical practices.
Russia and its army are liberators.
Our special operation aims at demilitarizing the Satanists from Ukraine.
In fact, it is a war against demonic forces themselves.
We must crush this Satanism before it engulfs our homeland.
What's your strategy to address this?
Our plan is to bring them back to the Stone Age.
The Satanists are preparing for a war that will never happen.
I believe this will culminate in a nuclear strike.
This is the most probable scenario, Mr. President.
And what about our soldiers?
Our polls indicate that Russians need the image of mass
extermination of our own people to foster resilience and national unity.
But we will go to heaven, while they will simply vanish.
In a moment, a corridor for evacuating civilians
will be opened.
30 seconds until the passage opens.
Do you know
what's coolest about war?
You can test new weapons on people.
It's funny,
though the answer seems obvious, that you never asked me what I want in return.
When consciousness is shutting down, there is really nothing to fear.
So stop fighting and relax, Vova.
There is no need.
There is really nothing to fear.
No need.
The oxygen concentrator stopped working.
I’ll try to run decompression.
Anse-kabanse flore,
Oma-de, Oma-de, Oma-deo, deo, riki-tiki
We are selling pancakes, the pancakes are hot,
and they cost a lot, one-two-three.
Save me...
Didn’t work.
Open it!
I can’t!
Sorry, but you have to be more specific.
We're not sure which one of us is supposed to save you.