EMILY (VOICEOVER): For those of you
who have had the pleasure of visiting Evergreen Lane,
you know what I mean when I say this is the most
festive street in America.
And for those of you who have never had the chance to visit
us, fret not, because you
are about to see
a street that carries the spirit of the holidays all year round.
Normally, this
cul-de-sac is the center
of all neighborhood
activity, but today, we
all had a previous engagement.
There has never been a more deserving bride
and groom than you and Jared.
I love you guys so much.
Thank you for being
my bridesmaids.
I'm so lucky.
Don't make me cry before the vows.
Not cool, Emily.
And before I use this for
myself, I hand embroidered it.
It's something new and something
blue, so it counts as two.
This is beautiful.
I am so honored that you
borrowed my old tiara and veil.
I wore it when I was Snow Queen at college.
I'm the one that's honored.
It's gorgeous.
You look spectacular.
Thank you.
You really do.
Can you believe
the Johnsons won't be here?
Hey, now.
No need to talk about they who have left the lane.
And you didn't need to make him a groomsman in absentia.
Why do you care that
he's an honorary groomsman?
You are my best man.
That's why you're here with me on the most
important day of my life.
You, me and Bob.
Hey, we're all out of Vienna sausages.
No, no.
The charcuterie is for the groom.
- I was a groom once.
- It's OK.
It's OK.
I'm far too nervous to eat.
Maybe I've got
something that could help.
Homemade Bavarian mead made with honey from my very own apiary.
The HOA handbook says
nothing about beekeeping, Ned.
Well, until it's amended, just mind your own bees-ness
and let's have a toast.
Here's to the next chapter of life, love and pursuit
of the holidays.
[pop]
Cheers.
[wedding march plays]
Sweetheart, it's time.
OK, Mom.
Yes, dear.
Do not call my mom dear.
Gentlemen, let's do this.
Yeah!
[wedding music]
Everybody sit down, please.
You look beautiful.
Hey.
Dearly beloved, we are gathered
today to celebrate the union of these two beautiful souls.
Emily, the moment I fell in love with you
was captured
on a Polaroid picture
when we were seven years old on your front porch.
And from that day on, I've been looking forward to this day.
As I stand in front of you today, although my knees are
shaking a bit like
that Polaroid picture,
I've watched you develop
into this beautiful, smart, kind
woman that I get to spend the rest of my life with.
I promise you, I will do my best to paint
a perfect picture of love
and devotion together forever.
Jared, I always knew there was something very special
about you.
And when we reconnected,
everyone reminded me of what
an amazing architect you are.
[laughter]
And they were right.
The way you have designed your life with loyalty
for the ones you love.
And it shows me who you really are at your core.
You make me feel safe and supported,
and there is no one I would rather
make plans to build the rest of my life with than you.
OFFICIATOR: Emily Melrose, do you take Jared to be
your lawful wedded husband?
I do.
OFFICIATOR: Jared
Farnsworth, do you take Emily
to be your lawful wedded wife?
Absolutely, without
a doubt, I do.
OFFICIATOR: Then,
by the power vested in me,
I now pronounce you husband and wife.
And you may now kiss the bride.
[AMY STROUP, "HOLD ONTO HOPE LOVE"] So hold onto hope, love
I've searched high and low for you
For you
For the first time ever,
Mr. and Mrs. Jared Farnsworth.
(SINGING) Each day gets closer
So hold on stronger to me
EMILY (VOICEOVER): You may be wondering why we
didn't do a Christmas wedding.
We considered it.
But in memory
of Jared's late father,
we chose to do it on his parents' anniversary.
And even though we had
a fun-filled honeymoon planned,
we were both excited to get back
home and get into the spirit
of the upcoming holidays.
The only problem was this year, we had no idea what
kind of spirit it would bring.
[engine roaring]
[LOUIS EDWARDS & HENRY
PARSLEY, "HALLOWEEN FUNK"]
(SINGING) Ghosts and ghouls
Things that creep cruel
What in the Samhain?
Silver Squad
to Green Team, are
you seeing what we're seeing?
[suspenseful music]
Looks like we got a couple bona fide frightafiles.
Gonna move in for a closer look.
Watch my 6:00.
Woo.
Double, double.
Toil and trouble.
All right, so what are we gonna do about this, folks?
Should I get
the president on the line?
Let him enjoy his honeymoon.
We'll break it to him when he gets back.
We get it, Belinda.
You want grandchildren.
But I think he
would want to know.
Don't mess this up for me.
Are you excited, my lovely?
By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes.
I'll take that as a yes.
You have too many ghosts, not enough headstones.
Come on, people, get it right.
Ow. Ah.
Ow.
Squirrel.
Jared, you really didn't have to spring for a stretch limo.
We're just on our way home from the airport.
Oh, but I did.
We are still on our honeymoon.
It was the best honeymoon ever.
I enjoyed every
second of it with you.
You know what?
After two weeks in Scandinavia,
I am actually really
excited to get back home.
I could have used one
more week in [non-english].
I think I preferred
[non-english].
I wonder if you'll feel the same way
after we celebrate Walpurgisnacht night
this spring.
I pre-booked the hotel
and everything.
I'm sorry.
What?
The biggest Swedish springtime
festival that there is.
Apparently, it's not to be missed.
Honey, I love that you're a planner,
but vacations are kind of something
we need to plan together now.
You're right.
I just got too excited.
I'm used to planning things on my own.
But now, we're married.
We make decisions together.
- Yeah.
- 'Cause you're my wife.
My husband.
Mm.
I love you.
Oh.
EMILY: Oh.
JARED: We're home.
Oh, wow.
I wonder if Pamela's
remodel is done.
Glad she liked the design.
Oh, she was so happy with it.
You did such a good job.
I wish I was as fulfilled
at my job as you are.
You're literally
the best writer I know.
Copywriter.
I said what I said.
I mean it.
Thanks, love.
I'll get back into it.
I just wish we could stay in fantasy land a little bit
longer.
- Well, then you are in luck.
Because like the medieval
knights of old,
I shall carry you over
the threshold of our new castle.
Really not necessary.
It's a sign of my love and affection for you,
a literal symbol that I would drop everything on account
of your beck and call.
EMILY: Woo!
Jared!
Jared.
Jared!
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Here.
Here we go.
Come here.
Sorry.
Are you OK? Are you sure?
I'm OK. I'm fine.
- Here, let me help you.
- Oh, no.
Not again.
JARED: It's time.
No, no, no, Jared.
Let's bring it down a notch.
Remember the mantra we've been working on.
Not my weeds. Not my garden.
Emily, when you hold
the mantle of the presidency,
this entire neighborhood
is my garden.
Now, if you will.
Brought the clipboard
on the honeymoon?
[doorbell rings]
MAN (ON INTERCOM): You rang?
Uh, yes, I did ring.
I wanted to introduce
myself and ask
you a few questions
about your understanding
of the HOA guidelines.
Honey, I don't think
that's an actual person.
I think that's a recording.
- I think you're probably right.
[laughs] [coughs] Sorry.
Seriously, did you guys ring?
Hi.
Hi, I am Jared
Farnsworth, HOA president
of this lovely neighborhood.
This is my first counselor
and head of activities
committee, Emily Melrose.
Farnsworth.
Emily Farnsworth.
It's my newest title.
Jared and I got
married last month.
Congratulations.
We've heard tale of the presidential power couple.
I had a premonition we would be graced by your presence.
Won't you come inside?
That would be amazing.
It would-- it would,
except that my wife and we
just got back from
our honeymoon, and we're very,
very, very tired.
That's nothing a little
Jack-o-Lantern Java won't fix.
And Marvin makes them extra strong.
MARVIN: Yes, I do.
- That sounds amazing.
I'm sure it it. I'm sure it is.
Except that we haven't
been deloused yet.
Deloused?
Yes, but in the meantime,
per your display,
as detailed as it is, we are going to have to ask
you to, you know, pare it back.
BOTH: Pare it back?
The lights
in the pumpkins can stay.
Great touch, actually, but your lawn display
has to go back
into the crypt, as it were.
I don't understand.
Our realtor told us this was the most festive neighborhood
in all of the state of Utah.
And we are.
Yes, at Christmas.
We are Evergreen Lane, not Ever Scream Lane.
Ever Scream Lane.
MARVIN: We should
totally call it that.
Yes--
No, don't do that.
That was just a very clever play on words
for me to emphasize my point.
Which is what exactly?
Per HOA guidelines, we--
it-- it says that Section 12--
I'm pretty sure it says you have too much Halloween.
Well, that's not
what Albert told us.
MARVIN: And it was confirmed by Gail.
Oh, so you've met my parents.
They were the first to welcome
us to the neighborhood.
It's so nice of you both to let them stay with you
for the rest
of hurricane season,
especially right after the wedding.
Must be scoring some serious
son-in-law points there.
Mm-hmm.
Well, I better be.
You know what?
Why don't you just excuse us.
We're gonna get settled.
And then we can discuss
this whole in-laws
and bylaws situation.
Does that sound OK?
Fair is foul,
and foul is fair.
Just let us know.
Will do.
Let's go.
Turn around.
LUNA: So great to meet you.
MARVIN: Ta-ta.
Same here.
That's a strange couple.
Indeed.
[music playing]
EMILY: I really hope you're not mad at me.
I'm definitely not mad, Emily.
I'm just a little surprised, is all.
Why didn't you tell me you invited them?
I'm so sorry.
My mom asked in the middle of the wedding craziness,
and I just forgot.
I truly am sorry.
But they're in the guest loft above the garage.
You're never gonna see them.
Well, don't apologize.
I love your parents.
Love hosting your parents.
It's just, you know, like you said, it's just me and you now,
so I just want to be
on the same page on this stuff.
That's all. - Absolutely.
I got your back.
And I've got yours.
Now, let's take care of this
decoration situation.
All right.
ALBERT: Jared, what
seems to be the problem?
Oh, I don't know, Albert.
Maybe the fact that we got back from the wedding of our dreams
only to return to a nightmare.
It's just a few lawn decorations.
That's how it starts.
And the next thing you know,
the younger generation,
they're sneaking out of their bedrooms,
searching for the Great Pumpkin.
Let's not get crazy now.
I'm not.
It-- it's just I'm hoping we are being sensitive
to those who may
not feel comfortable
celebrating this time of year.
We have bylaws put in place like this for a reason, right?
But that's not entirely true.
What do you mean it's not true?
The motion to de-escalate the other holidays was proposed and
hotly debated, but in the end,
it was never voted
on and therefore, never passed.
What other lies have I been told?
Nobody lied to you, Jared.
The council just decided
after what happened,
maybe a vote wasn't necessary.
Everyone agreed
to honor the de-escalation
of Halloween out of respect.
But technically, there's
no official bylaw.
What do you mean
after what happened?
Oh, honey, have you forgotten?
We did all of this for you.
For me?
Maybe she blocked it out.
It was the last big Halloween we celebrated on the lane.
You mean the last year with grandma.
[gentle music]
Excuse me.
I'll be in the basement.
The ba--
[intriguing music]
Hey, Gram-Gram.
I'm sorry I left you down here.
I just couldn't figure out exactly where to put you.
Your memory lives best
in my head anyway.
I know it's not the best way to deal with things,
but here we are in a basement
full of old memories.
No one can bother us.
[gasps] Jiminy Christmas.
You scared me.
I'm sorry.
I know how you feel
about basements
and well, you've been down here for, wow,
27 minutes and counting.
It's gotta be a record for me.
Honestly, it's not that bad.
[pop]
[screams] What was that?
Furnace.
Ah.
Yeah, no, I still hate it down here.
Yeah.
[music playing]
You OK?
Yeah, I'll be fine.
Oh.
I think I've just been so focused
on the wedding
and our future that I
kind of forgot about the past.
Well, she was a great woman.
EMILY: Yeah, I can still hear her voice.
Remember what she always
used to say to us?
GRAM-GRAM: You two
belong in a storybook.
It's Halloween, sweetie.
What could you possibly
be upset about?
Ashlynn Ashworth and her friends
dressed like
scarecrows in her yard.
And they totally jumped
out and scared us.
You got yard yelped, did ya?
Yep.
Don't let them get to you.
They were just
trying to have fun.
But I ran so fast, I spilled my candy on the way back.
That's OK, Emily.
I'll share mine.
Jared, that
won't be necessary.
I'll take you two
out on the golf cart.
Awesome.
I heard Mary Louise and Bob are giving
out full-sized candy bars.
We gotta get there before they run out.
All in good time, my pretties.
All in good time.
Before we go, why don't
you tell Jared what
I always say about Halloween?
Never go to Ned's house.
He only gives out
free stride elk liver.
True.
What else do I say about Halloween?
It started as a day to
remember those who passed away.
Even though we get to dress up and get candy from our friends
and family, we
should also remember
our friends and family members that aren't with us anymore.
And not only should we remember them,
but they should be celebrated.
But why do we dress up?
Because it's tradition.
And there's no
better way to connect
with your friends and neighbors than through age old traditions.
Now, what do you say we get
back to my favorite one of all,
trick or treating?
Let's do it!
All right, kids, mount up.
Woo!
Happy Halloween!
We got so much candy that year.
Buckets full.
Aw.
I had no idea that'd
be the last time
she took us trick or treating.
She was gone just two weeks later.
That's when the neighborhood decided to take a step back.
She was the center of the
celebration with her creativity
and the costumes
and the decorations.
She always inspired everybody.
Halloween was never the same without her.
Of course, I was
heartbroken when she passed,
but I had no idea
that's why everyone else
pulled back from celebrating.
And I never asked for that.
And certainly not something Gram-Gram would have wanted.
No, you're right.
I mean, she said it herself.
Halloween is for remembering
your loved ones
and having a whole lot of fun.
It's time we bring Halloween
back, Evergreen style.
Are you sure about this?
No, I'm not sure about this.
I'm actually scared half
to death about this.
You know how I am.
I don't like scary movies.
I don't even like movies
that people say aren't scary,
but definitely are. - Tell me about it.
I've been trying
to get you to finish
NeverEnding Story or forever.
Yeah, that's
never gonna happen
because I hate quicksand as much
as I hate scary basements.
Noted.
But it's time for you to wake up and face the creepy organ music.
For the neighborhood
and for grandma.
And for you.
Now, let's get you out of here.
But first--
No kissing
in the creepy basement.
Fair enough.
Speed it up, Buttercup.
We got work to do.
Looking good, Grandma.
I figured I could call you that now that I'm
officially in the family.
Don't worry.
We're gonna make you proud.
EMILY: Come up to the attic.
You have to see this.
Em, do you just want
to bring them down here?
EMILY: I can't.
Just-- please just come up.
[wind blows]
[creepy music]
[floorboards creaking]
Wow.
EMILY: Look what I found.
Portal to Pan's Labyrinth.
This was
my grandma's witch hat.
Oh, there's so much great stuff up here.
I can see why you
spent so much time here.
You've never been to my attic?
No, I was never allowed.
And apparently, I'm still trespassing.
EMILY: "No boys allowed, even Jawid Fawnswuff."
My spelling was atrocious.
In your defense, that is
the way I used to pronounce it.
Well, Jared Farnsworth is very much allowed up here.
He's not a boy.
He's a man.
My man.
Mm-hmm.
All right.
We have to brainstorm how we are gonna make this the best
Halloween in years.
We could start by selling
tickets to this creepy attic.
Come on.
It's not that creepy.
Hmm--
I will not be ashamed by my choice in music.
And how do you explain the creepy typewriter
from The Shining?
That was my grandma's.
She taught me
to type on that one.
Yeah, and that was
the desk where I would
sit and write all my stories.
You know, maybe this is a message from her to get
you to start writing again.
I wish she'd sent that message to my former agent or publisher
or two.
I spent most of my 20s
trying to make
a career out of writing stories, but it just wasn't meant to be.
Maybe it's best this chapter of my life
is left up here, just
a beautiful childhood memory.
This was your dream, Em.
Yeah, but when your dream is just collecting dust in a box,
it's time to pack it up and move on.
All right, we gotta get busy.
- OK.
EMILY: We have an HOA
meeting to plan.
Yes!
We have some serious bylaws to propose.
Mm!
I am gonna
to mobilize the ladies
of the activities committee.
JARED: Mm-hmm.
And if you could coordinate
with Ned about a venue.
On it.
Thank you.
[gentle music]
Oh, Jared.
Thanks
for the inspiration, Gram.
We'll make you proud.
[cell phone dings]
All right, Evergreen
ladies, this
may come as a very big surprise, but
in honor of my sweet
Grandma Melrose,
I want to help bring back Halloween in a big way.
So let's get a good
old-fashioned brainstorm
going on the thread,
traditions, old and new.
All ideas welcome.
Fire 'em off.
And as Gram-Gram
would say, mount up.
Come on, honey, let's go.
Ned's hosting, and you know he needs a good 36 hour advance
notice to demusk the place.
JARED: Coming, sweetheart.
I thought we agreed after the last time
that we weren't gonna hold the HOA meetings at Ned's anymore.
I mean, he served
expired military rations.
I think we should
have a potluck chart.
Well, then we're
gonna need a lot of luck
because Susie's funeral potatoes almost killed me.
I'm impressed.
You have really
upped your game here.
What, is the queen coming?
Nothing says royalty like charcuterie.
I've got the donuts!
Dibs on the creepy cruller.
Ned, don't push
me on the pastries.
You can't have a creepy cruller
because they don't exist.
Wait, there are only crullers?
No donuts?
I know how popular they are, so I made them all "croo-lers."
I'm sorry.
What did you say?
Crullers.
I-- I said crullers.
That's what I thought.
Thank you, Belinda.
At least you won't
embarrass yourself leg
wrestling Bob for one of them.
I would have won if he let me wear my orthotic sneakers.
It was barefoot or bust in my day.
That's because they
hadn't invented shoes yet.
So, what's the tea, fam?
Are the new neighbors going to show up today?
If they do, I'm sure it will be in a puff of smoke
or on broom back.
I swear those two are witches.
Have you ever heard that Luna speak?
Every word she says sounds like she's casting a spell.
So spooky.
Yeah.
They've been
invited, as per Jared
and the prima conventus
clause of '94.
I've heard that
Marvin is a mortgage
banker by day and moonlights
as an undertaker just for kicks.
I don't know what they called them in the 19th century, but
today, we call them morticians.
And where did you
hear that from anyway?
Well, I'll give you a hint.
He wears a singlet
for underwear,
and he believes that pro wrestling is real.
If a masked man gave you the tombstone pile driver
at a Waffle House outside of Galveston, I assure you,
you would know just
how real it is.
I can see that your ongoing litigation with the undertaker
hasn't been resolved.
That doesn't mean that Marvin works in a mortuary for fun.
NED: Think about it.
The initials, M. Balmer.
M. Balmer.
What kind of a cruel joke were his parents playing?
Worst part is
I'm M. Balmer V. So
that's five generations of being
bullied in middle school.
But no, I am not a mortician for fun or professionally.
Just want to clear
that up from the jump.
Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude.
I'm not offended in the least.
Round about the cauldron go.
In the poison, entrails throw.
No, the poison and then--
And while we're at it, my wife is not a witch.
Exactly what
a witch would say.
Dibs on the ruby slippers.
Round about the cauldron go.
In the poison, entrails throw.
Yes.
Oh, sorry.
You guys must think I'm crazy.
I just got cast in Macbeth
at the Castle Theater.
Oh.
She's gonna be witch number one.
Yeah, that's-- that's
sort of a dream role for me.
Your dream role
is witch number one?
Yeah, 'cause witch number
two was already cast.
Ah.
Marvin and I are
English professors at UVU
and total Shakespeare buffs.
What light through
yonder window
breaks Ti's our new neighbors.
And Halloween is their sun.
I see we have a fellow Shakespearean among us.
Just got my Bard card renewed a fortnight ago.
Huzzah.
Ah.
Here we go.
And your lawn display is amazing BTDubs.
An homage to the great
tragedies.
Mm.
Shakespeare was the father of the modern horror genre.
Thou speaketh truth.
Aye, aye.
MARVIN: Aye.
Alas, I hate to break up this fun little drama
camp we've got going on here, but this is Evergreen Lane, not
the Globe Theater.
And our HOA
president would never
allow this level of theatrics.
[smoke puff]
Oh!
Ladies and gentlemen of the HOA, for the first time ever,
we present--
[coughing]
To your muster stations.
Go.
Move.
I got the "croo-lers"."
PAMELA: It's pronounced cruller!
Ladies and gentlemen, I do
apologize for this late start.
I was unaware of the potency
of indoor smoke bombs.
You could have just borrowed my Bulgarian fog condenser,
but whatever.
Noted.
Thank you.
I'm sure you're all
wondering why we called
this last-minute meeting.
No, not really.
Emily emailed us all
an itinerary last night.
Great. well, I'm sure you're all wondering
why the change of heart, then.
No, Emily sent us
a very inspirational voice
memo explaining everything.
Did she now?
That's great.
Well, I guess I'm not sure what I'm
doing here other than just looking pretty fly
in my vintage J. Press suit.
You look great, babe.
Do you want me to take this?
Please, please.
All right, everyone,
per addendum B,
subparagraph C
of the HOA handbook,
the head of the activities
committee
has the right and obligation
to propose and
uphold traditions new and old.
I love it when you speak bylaw.
Mm.
I learned from the best.
Wow, you two really took that two become one homily to heart.
Oh, thank you so much, Pamela.
That's really sweet.
OK, please stop.
So, I took
the committee's feedback.
I ran it by Mr. President here.
And we have decided to turn Evergreen Lane
into Ever Scream Lane.
Oh, wow--
We have taken the traditions
of yesteryear, combined
with the zeitgeist of current day,
to bring this spooky season to life in a new and thrilling way.
Mwahaha.
Inspired by the boldness
of the Balmers,
each household will be required to create
a Halloween lawn display to
bring the spirit of this holiday
to life.
You have one week to get your displays together
or there will be consequences.
[menacing laugh]
I mean, it'll
be like, you know,
a citation or community
service hours.
But do not tempt me for I have fresh citation pads.
There will be daily activities
leading up to Halloween,
such as a pumpkin painting contest.
Painting?
Why don't we just carve those puppies?
Because Ned, pumpkin
guts are gross.
They're stringy. They're slimy.
No.
But it's very visceral for me.
OK, please, Ned, we don't have time for your sensory obsession.
Touch your corduroys.
EMILY: Thank you, Pamela.
You're gonna be thrilled
to know that there
will be a Beastly Bake-Off.
Yes!
Haha!
Oh, my gosh, I could be Ghoulia Child.
With spooky sweaters.
And just how we do
a toy drive at Christmas,
we will be doing
a charity food drive.
But, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, to top it all off--
[clears throat]
Sorry.
OK, Jared really wanted
to do this part so go ahead.
Thank you so much, honey.
And to top it all off, on all Hallows' Eve--
October 31, Halloween.
--after the tricks have been played,
after the treats have been treated,
we will have a cul-de-sac
carnival costume competition.
So bring that
creativity to life.
Are there any rules to who we can or cannot impersonate?
No more foreign dignitaries.
We do not need
the FBI here again.
Yes, Ned.
Please keep all costumes within the parameters of HOA guidelines
and in accordance with state and federal laws.
Tricky, but not impossible.
In light of all this, we have something we'd like to propose.
That is if we
can invoke addendum
3 of the party protocol.
- Oh?
Well, invoke away, please.
I know you already have the food drive planned,
but every year, we do a big
spooky alley in our front yard.
We go all out to raise money for the Children's Hospital.
LUNA: As a young girl, I was treated there,
and they saved my life.
So we try to do everything
we can to give back.
That's amazing.
I mean, double the charity.
I love it.
I really-- wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait.
How spooky are we talking?
Say, like a 5 or a 6 on the Nosferatu meter.
Well, we hit a 7.5 once.
No, no.
7.5?
But that was close to Y2K,
so all sorts of things
were happening.
- That won't happen again.
Ah, tut, tut, tut.
PAMELA: I know you're 7.5, OK?
I mean, it's--
[chatter]
I think we need to--
OK, I'm not opposed to it.
As long as we remember this is for the kids.
So we have to keep the scare
factor to a 5 or below.
- Yeah, of course.
- Of course.
Should we just take a vote?
Yes.
I think we have to.
I mean, it's part of the bylaws.
OK, then that settles it.
I'll pass out some ballots, and we
can decide if this neighborhood is
ready to come together to face our biggest
fears this Halloween.
I've already faced my greatest fear.
A hot yoga class taught by Ned.
It's free on Thursdays.
Oh, it might be free, but you will pay dearly.
Trust me.
Now, take me off your Mailchimp.
[upbeat music]
EMILY: Halloween is back, baby.
OK.
Who pumpkin spiced your latte?
I'm just so excited.
The vote was unanimous.
Everyone loved
my Halloween plans.
And then our new neighbors had this amazing idea to do
this outdoor spooky alley.
And it's gonna raise money for the Children's Hospital.
First lady
of Ever Scream Lane.
You're really taking charge, carving up the HOA handbook.
How's Jared doing with all this?
At first, it was really hard for him to transition
his mind to a new holiday.
Kind of like he's
cheating on Christmas.
Right.
But now that he's in it,
he's doubling down.
It's like Kevin and K-pop.
This is new.
I played one song for him one time.
He totally made fun of me.
The next day, it was
all he was listening to.
He's basically made it his whole personality.
Same thing with Jared.
He's been driving all the way to Provo to go to this tailor-made
costume store almost every day.
You are in it.
We are, but it is just
a lot to balance with work.
I feel like I'm kind of just going through the motions.
I mean, I'm doing a good
job, but it's just--
it's not fulfilling.
Welcome to most of America.
I think it's just, you know, the wedding, and the honeymoon.
It was so perfect.
I just want to relive it.
Well, the honeymoon
phase is great,
but the real joy of marriage is the journey that lies ahead.
I love that.
Speaking of, I have
to get that little journey
to piano lessons.
And you want to wrap up that book you're reading?
We gotta get going.
All done.
I finished the whole series, actually.
Do you have any more?
Oh, I didn't even
realize Jared had brought
that box down from the attic.
No, I only wrote the seven.
Seven?
How come I only knew about one?
After my agent didn't get any bites on the first one,
she dropped me like a T. Swift album.
Hmm.
It didn't really
make sense to continue.
NICOLE: I really like the different aliens.
Zolt is so funny.
Really?
What was your favorite part?
Probably when the hover
wagon was broken
and Zolt was the only
one who could
fix it because of the combo wrench his dad gave him.
Wow, you really did read it.
Yep.
let me know if you
write anymore.
Thanks, Nicole.
I will.
[eerie music]
Oh, cute costume.
Thank you.
You look adorable.
So cute.
You shall not pass!
Fly, you fools.
EMILY: Boo!
Wizard of Oz.
What are you-- what are you doing here?
I've been trying to ask you the same question,
but someone I know
doesn't answer their phone
for the last two hours.
- I'm sorry.
The store is a bit of a dead zone.
Didn't you see the sign?
Jared, that says undead zone.
It's just a clever sign
to sell zombie paraphernalia.
I love this store.
EMILY: Clearly.
You've been coming
here every day since we
jumped on this haunted hayride. - I just want to feel inspired.
You know, we have a-- we have a costume contest coming up.
No, no.
We're doing Phantom of the Opera.
We're singing the duet.
Yeah, um, I wanted
to talk to you about that.
Jared, you know
I don't do harmony.
What if I did
the contest alone?
Oh, OK.
Is that fine?
Yeah.
I mean, I--
I don't know what to say, but--
Honest reaction.
Go.
It's fine.
Of course, it's fine.
Yeah, we have been doing a lot
of stuff together lately,
and maybe--
maybe we should do
some things on our own.
OK.
So you're not annoyed?
I'm only annoyed that now I have
to figure out what I'm doing.
Whatever it is, I'm sure it's going to be epic.
Speaking of epic, we should discuss lawn display ASAP.
Now, what are you thinking?
Evil battling robots?
Zombie apocalypse?
No, no.
This is what I
wanted to tell you.
I think I have found the perfect thing.
[bell jiggling]
JARED: I'm confused.
I thought we were working
on the lawn display.
Look around.
What does this remind you of?
Mainly the fact that I
missed lunch, and I'm starving.
And I want to eat the entire store.
No, think about it.
The last Halloween with Grandma.
Hansel and Gretel.
The witch's gingerbread house.
What's more Halloween than Grimm's fairy tale?
And it's the perfect way to honor Grandma.
Let me get to work
on the blueprints immediately.
We don't have
time for blueprints.
Once we build
the witch's house,
it'll be the perfect hiding
spot for yard yelping.
- Jared. - Yes!
No.
I didn't think you
were into yard yelping.
I'm not.
But if I was, i would be like the Daniel Day-Lewis of it.
You know I hate
when people do that.
Ashlynn Ashworth still haunts
my dreams 20 years later.
I could see her in that
scarecrow makeup.
She's lurking about.
Oh, it's horrible.
Horrible.
Well, then why would you
vote to protect yard yelping
in the new HOA protocol?
Because like it or not,
it is a tradition.
And traditions are important.
But that's why I
added the regulation
to reduce the scare factor.
That way, Ever Scream Lane is a Halloween destination
for all, young and old.
So impressive.
I just really want
this to be next level.
And it's going to be.
Everyone can see it.
Thanks.
You know what, though, speaking of Ashlynn,
doesn't she host Wake Up Utah n Channel 6?
Yes.
Her mom and mine stayed friends after they moved.
She mentions it every
time she's on TV.
Do you think she could
put me in contact with her?
Maybe they could do a story about what
we're up to this year?
Sure, but aren't you guys like frenemies?
I mean, we were, but it was a long time ago.
And if it could help bring people to the carnival,
that would be great.
I mean, our neighborhood
isn't exactly known
as a Halloween destination.
So if we want to raise
some serious money
for Children's Hospital, I do think it's worth a try.
- I like where your head's at.
- Cheers.
Where's your stomach
at? 'Cause I'm starving.
Excuse me.
Can we get a dozen
pastries to go and one
of those German chocolate cookies
and oh, throw in two
honey boys and--
Excuse me.
Could I see this, please?
JARED: Ooh, eclair.
Two eclairs.
[music playing]
(SINGING) We don't have to worry
MARVIN: Careful, Bob.
I don't want to fall down.
He's a werewolf.
Why would he be
wearing a ball gown?
Let's zhuzh this guy up.
Careful. that
could be flammable.
Trust me, I know.
(SINGING) We don't have to worry
Jared, slow down!
NED: Looking good, Belinda.
BELINDA: Thanks, boo.
[tires screech]
Did you just
call Ned your boo?
No.
I-- I was just
trying to scare him.
Boo!
Did I scare you?
Right out of my socks, girl.
Hey, Jared, help me put the nails in my coffin?
Gladly.
[music playing]
[hammering]
Smile, you two.
Oh, what a couple
of handsomes you are.
[screams]
Oh my goodness.
Ah!
Oh, your thumb.
You need some ice on this.
Jared, a little help.
Yeah, I got you.
PAMELA: What do you
clowns think you're doing?
Ah, thank you.
Jared, it has been a real circus
around here with these guys.
I swear, one of them
is possessed.
You know, clowns freak a lot of people out, but not me.
I actually kind of like them.
Well, you are
braver than I am.
You know, I'm gonna try to get these guys set up over there.
I mean, you've been working out.
Could you get that big clown stood up?
Of course. Anything.
Of course, Pamela.
Sure.
Boo!
[groans]
[laughs]
You just got yard yelped hard.
You did, Jared.
You got me, Helen.
You got me good.
I thought you said
clowns didn't scare you.
Hope we didn't
scare you too bad.
Don't you ever apologize for a well-executed prank.
Jared is a big boy.
He can handle it.
That's right.
Oh, look.
Ned and Melinda are
trying to prank you, too.
PAMELA: Are you seeing
what I'm seeing?
Oh, God.
Jared?
Jared, are you OK?
HELEN: What's
happening to him, Mom?
PAMELA: I don't know, sweetie.
Just go inside.
Yes, dear.
Whatever.
Looking good, Belinda.
Thanks, boo.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Oh, here.
Oh.
Is that better?
Yeah, that's better.
Jared, are you OK?
I see dead people.
PAMELA: Jared, don't do anything crazy.
[tense music]
Emily!
Emily, where are you?
I'm in the kitchen.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no--
Is everything OK?
No, it's not OK.
We are, in fact, in a worst case scenario, scenario.
Did you get rejected from the Santa Academy?
What?
Did you hear something?
- No.
- It's worse than that.
- How is that even possible?
- It's Ned.
Did he steal
your devil sticks?
What? No.
Where are those, by the way?
- It's so odd.
Maybe they'll show up.
It's so bad, I don't want to even say it out loud.
OK.
Is he going through, like, a flat Earth phase again?
- It's worse than that.
- OK, you're killing me, Smalls.
Spit it out.
Ned is dating my mom.
Oh, no.
I don't care what he says.
I refuse to call him dad.
You might be getting ahead of yourself here.
You don't know how serious it is yet.
Whatever it was, it definitely was not in the friend zone.
Do they know that
you saw them flirting?
No, I'll never
say a word 'cause I
want erased from my memory.
Every time I close my eyes, I can just
see the way they were
looking at each other, just
focused and intense,
like there was
no one else in the cul-de-sac.
Well, it actually
sounds kind of sweet.
The man pours pickle
brine in his shredded wheat.
There's nothing sweet about him.
I have to tell Pamela not to tell anyone.
She saw too?
Is that bad?
- That's not good.
- Is she gonna tell everyone?
I mean, that tea's probably too hot for her not to spill.
We have to stop this.
I get that you're upset, but you gotta remember,
they're adults.
And Ned is Ned.
And maybe that's
what your mom wants.
Or maybe she's under a spell.
Didn't you say that he studied
hypnosis in-- in Vienna?
Jared, you have to talk to her.
Ask her how she's feeling.
She's obviously
worried, and that's
why she's hiding it from you.
So tell her it's safe for her
to talk to you about it.
Well, at this point, I don't know if it is.
Right. OK.
Why don't you just take a breath and go
work on the gingerbread house?
I'm sure there's some gumdrops
that need to be gummed
or some candy that needs to be caned.
What?
There's no candy canes at Halloween.
Jared, just eat your pie.
For you, I will.
Needs some sprinkles.
Hmm.
That looks good.
When did you do this?
I've been wrapped up with all this Ned nonsense,
I didn't even notice this.
What are you doing over here?
Jess was over here with Nicole the other day,
and she read all of those
books that you had
brought down from the attic.
And she really loved them.
And it just kind of inspired
me to pick it up again.
JARED: You totally should. EMILY: It's very casual.
Just the neighborhood had inspired an idea,
and I just, you know--
I just started sketching
some things out.
JARED: Sketch away, my love.
It looks great.
You're so talented.
Hmm, thank you.
I love you.
[cell phone buzzes]
- Oh.
Oh my goodness.
Ashlynn texted me back.
JARED: Oh, nice.
What'd she say?
The Channel 6 news is
coming to Ever Scream Lane.
What?
Yeah!
I'm gonna text the girls.
What happened there, Gram?
How'd you go all ski wampus on me again?
Yeah.
Everything's looking
really good around here.
And I'm writing again.
I mean, I'm not getting
too excited just
because of what
happened last time,
but I am having so much fun.
And that's enough for me right now.
Anyway, it's turning into the picture perfect holiday,
and it just feels like
everything's come full circle.
I only wish you
were here to see it.
Love you.
Good night.
I'm Ashlynn Ashworth
and welcome to Wake Up Utah.
We are here
on Evergreen Lane, or
should I say Ever Scream Lane?
A neighborhood that is
usually known for Christmas
has traded its cheer
for fear this spooky season.
When we come back, we will join them
as they kick off the
much-anticipated neighborhood
pumpkin painting contest, a tradition that has been
squashed for over 25 years.
I nailed that, right?
Hey, is it a bad time?
No, not at all.
We're on commercial.
It is great to see you, Emily.
Good to see you, too.
Thank you so much for coming.
- Ah, are you serious?
I had to see this for myself.
I still can't believe that you're behind all of this.
You used to live here.
You know how festive we get.
For Christmas, sure.
But ever since you got
so scared by my scarecrow prank,
this entire neighborhood turned into a ghost town
on Halloween, remember?
Oh, that is good.
Hey, write that down.
Oh, I remember.
And so does my therapist.
Trust me.
Come on.
It wasn't that bad.
I mean, your friend Jeremy was there,
and he didn't seem too scared.
- Jared.
- Who? - Me.
Jared Farnsworth.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I meet a lot of people.
No, it's OK.
I was with her the night that you yard yelped us.
Dressed as Hansel.
You know, we were in Ms.
Thorknock's homeroom together.
Super skinny legs.
Always wanted to play the MASH game with us.
Super nerdy.
- That's fun to hear.
Oh, yeah.
Big dorky glasses.
And he would always rig the MASH
game to end up with you.
I was like, hello.
Well, I guess he
got his wish 'cause we
got married last month.
That's amazing.
Seriously, congrats you two.
- Thank you.
And thank you so much for doing this segment.
It's really exciting.
As HOA president, we really appreciate the exposure,
you know, to-- to show how far we've come since we celebrated
Halloween on this level.
Of course.
Do you want me
to interview you two?
- No. - Yes.
I-- I just was thinking
we should keep it
about the neighbor, you know?
- Totally.
OK.
Well, we're about to be back, so I can
catch up with you guys later?
Yeah, girl, do your thing.
OK.
Uh, Ty, let's move.
Let's go get more coverage.
Do your thing, girl.
What was that? - I don't know.
I mean, I get around her, and I turn into plastic.
That is the least
of my concerns right now.
I mean, look, Ned is
at the table with my mom.
They're on a team.
Relax.
How am I supposed to relax?
It's Ned.
And how do you feel about the Halloween traditions
coming back to life?
It's simply gourd-geous.
Did you see what I did there?
Gourd.
Gourd-geous.
That is a good one.
Did you just come up with that?
That's been ripening on the vine for years.
Don't make me put you down for a nap, Bob.
When you're known for only Christmas,
you don't have the opportunity
to show your range.
Mm.
Most people know that I have a doctorate in arts and crafts.
Oh.
But what they don't know
is that I did a study abroad
in the Atacama region of Northern Chile, which
is the pumpkin capital
of South America.
Basically, I have forgotten
more about these babies
than most people will learn in a lifetime.
I am about to pH
destroy the competition,
if you know what I mean.
Do you know what I mean?
I think I do.
How would you describe
your neighbors?
Intense in a good way.
Like Benedict from
Much Ado About Nothing.
I'd say a little more like Katherine
from Taming of the Shrew.
MARVIN: She's more
like Rosalind.
LUNA: Well, no, I mean, I know you love your Rosalind.
Might as well
talk about Tartuffe.
I'm excited to use the pointillism
technique my mom taught me.
I think it really captures the essence of the holiday
without being too on the nose.
I've gone for more of a cubist approach,
using shapes to really
represent the surreal nature
of what Halloween represents.
EMILY: Look at those
couple goals.
Adorable.
I can't even enjoy this right now.
Far too upset.
Honey, I want you to try to stay calm.
Like the wise.
That's something you only say under extreme duress.
Deep breaths.
PAMELA: Ty, for this
one, I'd love
to get a nice in-camera zoom.
As you can see, not everyone dressed
up for the painting contest.
I guess some of us just care more.
Now, Ty, go wide.
Go wide.
BOTH: Paint with us.
NED: Fun fact.
The first Jack-o-Lanterns were made from turnips.
Or large potatoes.
It stemmed from the Celtic Samhain festival in Ireland.
Which some people pronounce "Sawen."
NED: Yeah.
They were believed to ward off evil spirits lurking about.
But today, there's a much more jocular meaning to it,
and dare I say, romantic.
Oh, romantic.
In what way?
Take our pumpkins,
for example.
ASHLYNN: Oh, Romeo and Juliet.
NED: Correct.
We are nearing noontide, so the lighting is not
correct for this, but could you imagine what this street
would look like at night?
And with these pumpkins carved and lit as they should have been
done come eventide, these star
crossed lovers will surely
light up the autumnal sky.
Oh, dear.
Edgar James Brodhead, step away from my mama.
I most certainly will not.
Jared, sweetie, you know what?
Let's just take a minute
and talk about this.
That's a great idea, Belinda.
You know what?
Why don't we turn off
the cameras for a second,
and we can discuss this?
How long has
this been going on?
Well, I can't
speak for the lady.
But as for me, two
Christmases ago, the night
you first took the throne
in Santa's Village.
Betrayed,
and in my own kingdom.
I will not allow you
to defame the Farnsworth name
with your unwelcomed advances.
They are more than welcome.
Thank you very much.
Is that true?
Truer than true north.
More absolute than
absolute zero.
[music playing]
Oh.
[clapping]
There you have it, folks.
True love right here on live TV.
[screams]
[gasping]
And just like that, HOA President Jared Farnsworth
smashes a Jack-o-Lantern
of love,
begging the question, should this neighborhood actually
be called Ever Mean Lane?
That's enough, Ashlynn.
Back to you, Ted.
As a childhood
resident of the lane,
I know from experience
how firm of a grip
the homeowner's association
has on its residents.
The intensity is simply too much for some, including my parents.
When asked, HOA President
Jared Farnsworth
refused to make
a statement, but his actions
spoke much more than words.
[screams]
Many Utahns would dream
of living on Evergreen Lane,
but today, felt more like a nightmare on Elm Street.
Oh, come on.
That's just yellow journalism.
ASHYLYNN (ON TV): With a reputation like that,
I have a feeling
the surrounding communities will
be frightened away from the rest of the activities
this Halloween.
Turn it off.
ASHYLYNN (ON TV): I'm Ashlynn
Ashworth, and this is--
Thank you for letting
us use your house
as a neutral holding zone
while the deliberation occurs.
So sorry you had to see that.
I thought it was kind of exciting, actually.
Ned Brodhead is dating my mother.
Do you understand the implications
behind that type of betrayal?
And you expect me to be concerned
with anything else right now?
I mean, I don't left
from right, up from down.
I don't know
diagonals right now.
I mean, the man who lived
next door to me, my best man.
And the woman that gave birth to me.
She gave birth to me.
And I don't know what's happening right now.
I'm so confused.
Let's just put a hold
on the existential crisis
until we hear what it is you have to do to make this right.
And I just hope
they don't strip you
of your presidential powers.
They can do that?
It's in the hands
of the Triumvirate of Truth.
Is it from Star Wars?
Oh, don't let
the name fool you.
It's just Mary
Louise, Pam and Bob.
They meet at Swigalicious
& Sugarhouse.
Don't belittle the system.
These are time-proven
protocols, emergency measures
to bring balance to the bylaws.
Star Wars.
Who can forget
the great Hayfield-McAvoy
debate of '91 when a power grid dispute
almost canceled Christmas.
But lo, two humble HOA members
stepped into the breach
and created the Magna Carta of merriment.
Are you saying all of this
because you and I invented it?
ALBERT: Can't I just be proud of our work?
GAIL: Yes, but you don't make us sound humble.
Humble. Shmumble.
That's not a nice accusation.
GAIL: Can we please make a good impression on the new neighbors?
Honey, do you think
you'll ever forgive me?
It's not my forgiveness
you need right now.
[doorbell rings]
[music playing]
[slurping]
The Triumvirate of Truth has reached a decision.
Do what must be done.
PAMELA: Jared
Farnsworth, you have
been charged with destruction
of personal property
and projecting a pumpkin in a pedestrian perimeter.
Not only did this impact
the cleanliness of our curbs,
but it brought negative news coverage to the neighborhood,
which in turn plummeted the projected property
values by approximately 3%.
Hold my soda.
We know Ned to be neurotic,
and now is known to be
necking with your next of kin.
However, we have reviewed
the reasoning for your revolt,
and although we find
the target of your treason
to be tyrannical, it cannot be tolerated.
In order to be forgiven, you must fulfill the following.
I don't read
cursive very well.
I'm sorry, Bob, I
don't know hieroglyphics.
I'll paraphrase.
Your powers will be temporarily suspended and given to Emily
until you make things right.
Emotions are running really high right now,
and we think you need to sit down with Ned
and talk it over, man to man.
PAMELA: You ruined it, Bob.
You took away all
of my alliteration and flair.
I got you, girl.
Basically, you better buy the old buck a beer.
I accept
the Triumvirate's decision.
I-- I'm sorry.
Hold on.
Look, I'm all for you making good with Ned.
I mean, you can go out on your mandate.
You can bro it up all you want.
But as your interim president, I have a mandate of my own.
Anything.
Before you go
out with your bro,
I think Belinda deserves a one-on-one conversation
of her own, don't you?
I concur, Madam President.
Thank you.
I'm so embarrassed.
We had so much soda.
I can't believe that we never thought of her.
I blame the firm psychological
grip of the patriarchy.
My bad.
PAMELA: It's OK.
I've got my traveling quill.
All right.
I'll just add this to the bottom
of the parchment, OK?
Bend.
Do not tell book club about this.
Hmm.
Yum.
[gentle music]
Pink meringue?
Oh, yes.
Thank you.
They look delicious.
You know, you
didn't have to spring
for the Queen Victoria package.
I know, but I wanted to.
I know you've always wanted to have tea with a daughter,
but there are no rules
about having it with a son.
I appreciate it.
But it's me.
We-- we can just talk.
OK.
And I will start by apologizing.
Emily reminded me that we're all adults here,
and I sure wasn't acting like one.
Neither did I. I
could have told you.
I should have told you when I first started catching feelings.
But it took me a while
to realize what was happening.
So, are-- are you
and Ned like an item?
I don't know how
to define it exactly,
but according to Mary
Louise, the kids
would say we're talking.
Talking?
What does that-- first of all,
how does an 80-year-old
woman know what the lingo is?
Mom, the real question is, are--
are you happy?
I find myself
smiling every day.
That Ned is a real rizzler.
Hmm.
Rizzler?
BELINDA: Mm-hmm.
Love that for you.
I think.
Your father's been
gone for so long that I--
I kind of forgot what it felt like to be seen in that way.
And I never expected
to feel that way about Ned.
But something about him has changed.
And I love the way his eyes light up when he sees me
or when he listens to me talk.
And I know he's one tall glass of some self-distilled spirit,
but he gets me.
And oh, when he kisses me--
Oh, you can stop there.
I get the picture.
Oh, boy.
I think it just
caught me by surprise.
You know, I--
Ned and I haven't always gotten along.
And he's the strangest
man I've ever met.
But you know I love the guy.
I know you do.
And honestly, it's still early with us.
I don't know what's
gonna happen,
but it means so much to me to know that I have your support.
Absolutely.
I love you, son.
I love you, too.
But if you call Ned
the rizzler ever again,
I'm gonna change my mind.
So when did you first know?
Christmas Eve,
the year Emily came back.
Your mother joined me outside for a mug of hot bourbon cider.
It was so dark.
I could just see
the moon on her hair.
And we started talking about our favorite stars.
You know, I could not
narrow it down to one star,
but I do have a favorite nebula.
Of course, 'cause everyone knows that.
So, I was born--
May 1.
Yes, which makes me a--
Please land your plane.
A Taurus.
Taurus.
Boo.
Which means my favorite is going to be the Crab Nebula,
otherwise known as NGC 1952.
Sure.
Every-- everyone knows that.
Yes, but what I didn't know was your mother's
favorite star is Astraea.
North Star.
You didn't know that at all.
I literally named the only
star I could think of.
It's OK.
Not all of us are astrophiles.
But those of us who are know that it is located
in the constellation of Taurus.
And then your mother tells me that Astraea is really
a very famous Greek nymph.
How about I stop you right there.
[whistles]
It's gonna be enough
mythology for one evening.
No, really, you should Google the story and read it later.
It's a scorcher.
I promise you, I will not.
OK.
But do you want
to ask you a favor.
Yes, sir.
First, never use nymph and
my mother in the same sentence
ever again.
That's a big ask.
I'm asking.
I'm gonna try.
Try really, really hard.
Yes, sir.
Also, please treat her well, and please be honest with her.
I swear on the stars.
And you watch out
for yourself too, Brodhead.
You hear me?
- OK.
If she breaks your heart, don't come crying to me.
The game of love is
high risk, high reward.
I know what I'm playing.
I swear.
To risking it all.
[clink]
Do you want to play some pool?
I'll play billiards.
You can call it whatever you want.
You're going down, Brodhead.
Yeah, sure.
[pleasant music]
Hey, babe.
What are you still doing up?
I had an idea, and it just keeps flowing.
I couldn't sleep.
How'd it go with Ned and Belinda?
[romantic music]
Oh, that good, huh?
Not my weeds.
Not my garden.
Well said.
I'm about to head to bed.
But should I wait up for you?
No, I'm almost done here.
I was hoping maybe we could snuggle and watch a movie.
I think I can
make that happen.
[laughs] Do not drop me, please.
Why would I drop you?
What are you talking about?
So by watch a movie, do you mean start a movie
and then in 15 minutes,
you'll be asleep in my arms?
Yeah, but first, we could flirt a little,
you know, laugh
and cuddle while we
try to find something to watch.
That actually sounds amazing.
Mm.
It's my favorite thing in the whole world.
You know, the more I think
about the Ashlynn situation, I--
the more I feel like
maybe I should reach out
and just try and clear the air.
It was me who embarrassed himself on regional TV.
No, honey, I'm not
talking about pumpkin gate.
Oh.
Something she said on the broadcast.
Like, maybe her family felt like they were
pushed out of the neighborhood.
I mean, I know I can't change anything, but I--
I just would really love to extend a peace offering,
you know?
I mean, we're adults.
We shouldn't be--
shouldn't have this, like,
weirdness from
our childhood between us.
If that's the way
you feel, I think you
should definitely reach out.
Thanks, honey.
Mm-hmm.
Isn't it so nice
to have someone you can
say anything to at any time?
That is the best definition of marriage I've ever heard.
Hey, thanks so much
for agreeing to meet me.
Oh, of course.
I'm sorry I don't have more time.
I have just been
so busy with the tapings
and keeping up
with my followers.
I've recorded seven cameos this week.
Oh my goodness.
I'm gonna make it quick.
I, um--
Don't worry about Michaela.
She has heard it all.
She is a vault.
I just wanted to apologize for when we were younger.
I was the one that scared you, remember?
I know, but what I
really mean is after that.
I know the neighbors went into overdrive trying to protect me
after my grandmother passed and after the whole scarecrow thing.
And I just really hope that's not the reason your family
decided to move away.
And after you moved, I
thought you were angry at me.
I really did.
I thought you were mad.
And I should have talked to you about it right then and there.
And instead, I put up this wall.
And it wasn't because I
didn't like you.
It was actually
quite the opposite.
Come on, Emily.
You nickname me Shlynn Shady.
And that was totally unfair.
I mean, how were you
supposed to know that I was
gonna ask Buzz Okie to Sadie's?
Everyone wanted to ask Buzz.
Ah, blue eyed Buzz.
The truth is you were so cool and popular,
and I just loved what you did with the school announcements.
You never told me that.
EMILY: Well, I should have.
They were clever and funny, and everyone loved them.
And I mean, look.
Look where you are now.
Secretly, I kind of always wanted to volunteer to write
the copy for the teleprompter. - Why didn't you say anything?
I just never had the courage.
And I was embarrassed about how things ended
between us when you moved.
I just want to say I'm sorry that I let
my own insecurities come between what could have
been a really cool friendship.
MAN (ON INTERCOM): We need Ashlynn in Studio C, ASAP.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I have to run.
- It's OK.
Talk later?
Yeah, of course.
Go, go, go.
Thank you.
Great.
Oh, here's a headshot for free.
Oh, thank you.
I'll see you soon.
That went well.
WOMAN: I can't
believe you confronted
the great and powerful Ashlynn.
It's been bugging
me for years.
It felt so good to get
it off my chest.
I mean, she didn't give me much of a reaction, but that's OK.
It was worth it.
I gotta say, I'm proud of you on so many levels.
Oh, thank you.
Also, I think you're really on to something this year.
Those spider doodles
look amazing.
They taste great too.
I had three of them
when Mom wasn't looking.
Nicole Marie, you're
gonna make yourself sick.
Come on, it's Halloween. Isn't that the point?
Well, fine.
At least give me a bite, then.
Mm, those are amazing.
Thank you.
I'm so glad.
But save some room
for Pamela's, 'cause you know,
she is a shoo-in to win the contest.
No secret there. - I don't know.
I'm pretty much of a cookie
expert at this point.
I think you have a chance.
Thanks.
I mean, we'll see.
I just do feel like the creative
juices have been flowing,
you know, since I
started writing again.
I don't know.
Maybe some of that energy has been absorbed into the baking
as well. - Hmm.
I was gonna say there's
something different about you.
I thought it was the honeymoon glow,
but got a little spark in ya.
I didn't realize how much I missed writing, you know?
Like, I've forgotten about
the joy it brings me.
I think I thought copywriting was enough, but maybe it's not.
Well, now you know.
At least you're back
to doing something you love.
Yeah, exactly.
And even if it doesn't turn into something I do for money,
at least I know it's
important to me.
It's exactly how I feel about The Real Housewives
of Salt Lake City.
Oh, I wish they'd bring Monica back.
Right?
She's the best part.
I was more intrigued by Jen's storyline.
I said I was a good
mom, not a perfect mom.
EMILY: I hope it's OK
that we're a little late.
- I'll get it set up.
- Thanks.
Oh, thank you
so much for hosting.
Belinda was a little preoccupied this week,
if you know what I mean.
Are you kidding?
This is our idea
of a house-warming party.
More like heartwarming.
Seriously, we have
lived in a lot of places
and never really felt
like we fit in until now.
Aw.
Well, I think if we
looked into the cauldron,
we would see a lifetime
of friendship ahead for us.
Look at our little angel, all caught up in festive spirit.
True I've never seen her so happy.
But our angel
still can't compete
with our devil fruit cake.
Mm, Albert, you little demon, you.
Come on, come on.
Just let me have
just a little taste.
Bob, not Yeti.
Oh, I have never been so in love.
Well, if you're so in love,
go get me a drink.
I can't believe you would take pallesthesia over echolocation.
I mean, have you lost your prefrontal cortex?
See, there you go again.
Trying to confuse me with your technical jargon.
I'm just saying, money aside, I would rather be
Peter Parker than Bruce Wayne.
You are so wrong.
I'm not wrong.
Oh, Luna.
Wow.
The detail of your piping
is amazing.
I applaud your efforts.
I-- I really do.
And this is your first
cookie competition, is it?
Yep.
And I guess we'll have to see if a win is to be or not to be.
Oh, never heard that one before.
Either way, we're really hoping we
can at least turn a few heads.
Oh, well, how very optimistic of you.
But alas, poor Yorick,
once the judges
take a bite of my chocolate
chip chupacabras,
you're gonna be heading home with a participation
ribbon pinned on your festive
little sweater.
Hmm-mm.
And that is what we call
pre-game intimidation, Helen.
Take notes.
Shoot, they're pretty good.
OK, come on.
BELINDA: Are we ready?
[cheering]
Welcome to the first Beastly Bake-Off in more than 20 years.
We had a wickedly hard time judging the entries this year.
And I'm a little scared to announce the winner.
You should be
scared, lover girl,
'cause if I smell any Neddy boy nepotism, I will go nuclear.
I can assure you that outside of this year's amazing entries,
there has been no home cooking
in the selection process.
Unlike Christmas rules, there
is only one winner today,
no second or third place.
That's right.
Only room for one creature
in this cavern, baby.
BELINDA: OK, here we go.
And the winner is--
For her cinnamon spider doodles, Emily Farnsworth!
[cheering]
[gasps]
PAMELA: There's no such thing as "croo-lers."
MARY LOUISE: Pam.
Pamela.
No, no.
Pamela. Pamela.
Darling.
Pamela, it's me.
It's Mary Louise.
Oh, Mary Louise, it's you.
Mm-hmm.
Bob, it's you too.
Oh, you guys.
I just-- I just had
the most horrible dream.
Oh, there were cookies
and-- and a witch.
And-- and you were there.
And-- and Belinda, you were there.
Oh, and Jared, you were there, too.
And-- and so were--
you.
Easy.
Mm.
Easy.
We've already performed
the awards audit.
I can confidently confirm
that there was no tomfoolery.
She won fair and square.
But I-- you know, and she can't--
I mean, how could she?
She's never been able
to cook anything in her life.
Pamela, if I had known how much this was gonna upset you
or how you were
gonna to react, I--
I would have just given
up and let you win.
PAMELA: You and me both.
Where's my Helen?
She's in her room
FaceTiming with her dad.
Thank you.
Sure.
Well, I don't know if it's the head injury or not,
but I want to apologize
to all of you.
Every year, I get so obsessed
with winning that I
let it become my identity.
But as I look around
and see all of your faces,
I realize that I've already won because I
live on Evergreen Lane,
and there's no place like home.
Aw.
Uh, guys, I'm
so sorry to interrupt
this very sweet moment.
Then don't.
But I have news.
It looks like Channel 6 wants to come out and live stream
the carnival, spooky
alley and all.
Looks like we better haul out the Halloween.
Yes!
Yay!
OK, everyone, everyone.
Thank you.
Thank you so much for coming
on such short notice.
An opportunity has presented itself,
and I just had to share and bring it to a vote.
I got a text from Ashlynn Ashworth at Channel 6,
and it looks like they want to come back to the lane.
What about that smear piece she did about us?
It wasn't exactly a smear.
Jared did go full Billy Corgan on those pumpkins.
Yes, he did.
And I'm taking full
responsibility for my actions.
EMILY: Apparently, it was great for ratings for the network,
and they want to come back and cover the carnival and
the spooky alley.
I think this could take our fundraiser to the next level.
I think we should do it, guys.
They've lived here like, five minutes.
I'm just saying, you know, it's fundraising.
You know, it's
for the kids, but you know,
it's still seems really fishy to me.
I smell a conspiracy.
PAMELA: Can't risk any more bad press.
Guys, guys, guys, come on.
It's time to help a pres out.
Listen, when I had to relinquish
my powers to my better half,
I realized something.
I realized that serving this community, it's a privilege.
And I let my anger get the best of me.
And I was a very poor example of how a leader should be.
Luckily, you guys
cared about me enough
to give me a second chance.
Now, it's our chance to come together as a community and
a neighborhood
and celebrate in front
of the entire state of Utah.
And a few select counties
in Idaho, Wyoming, and Nevada,
depending on local TV markets.
Yes, Ned.
Not important, but sure.
Yeah.
The point is, it's time we back up our humble president,
and we show everyone what Halloween means to us.
What do you say?
Are you in?
Yeah, I'm in.
Ever Scream on three.
1, 2, 3--
ALL: Ever Scream!
[music playing]
(SINGING) I believe in--
Oh.
Hey, do you ever bob for apples?
Oh, you better believe it.
Oh, well, we're on.
Here we go.
(SINGING) But I keep on going
I can't afford to look back down
Oh-oh-oh-oh
Is that why they call it bobbing for apples?
Leave him alone.
It'll keep him
busy till nap time.
Smart.
Inflatables are not scary and if they get unplugged,
it's just [blows raspberries] I mean, the illusion is ruined.
The idea is for the kids
to have a good time,
not sending home with night terrors.
Look at this.
This is horrifying.
Hey, OK.
We're gonna nix her and also the animatronic Chucky doll.
But I'm keeping
the homemade Babadook.
- Oh, keep the Babadook.
- Babadook.
Guys, I'm a little worried about the costume contest.
We don't have many sign-ups. I mean, my parents are given.
Jared said he's
preparing something.
Other than that, it is slow, and I'm
just worried we won't have
a lot of foot traffic,
you know, for the spooky alley.
I just hope
the rumors aren't true.
What rumors?
Well, I don't like to gossip.
Says the woman who invented the Avril Lavigne conspiracy.
Oh, I have my reasons.
And quite compelling evidence, I might add.
Thank you.
I don't care about that.
Belinda, tell me what you heard.
Please, spill it.
Honey, you've gotta go listen.
I want to know what
they've been talking about.
- I'm scared.
- We've been gone for months.
I don't care if you're scared.
Grab a couple cans--
BELINDA: All right.
Well, you; know Mary Louise's hairdresser, Brittany Bateman?
Girl can frost a top, and that's no rumor.
Apparently, her
sister-in-law, Heidi Burch,
works out at Train Insane when none
other than Ashlynn Ashworth.
She said they're only covering the spooky alley for clickbait.
What?
Oh, I don't understand.
She's hoping it's gonna be a train
wreck like the pumpkin contest.
What do you got?
I got nothing.
And after what she posted about Pamela
from the Beastly Bake-Off.
How do you suppose she heard about that, do you reckon?
I kept in touch with her mother.
I didn't know the phone call was on the record.
There was always something
strange about Ashlynn.
Didn't you tell me that when
you were in high school,
they called her Shlynn Shady?
Yes, technically.
But that was kind
of my fault. I don't think
she has an ulterior motive.
- Oh, really?
You don't think she does? BELINDA: Oh, I hope so.
But you know, after that
first news piece went viral,
it doesn't look like
the rest of the neighborhood
is so confident.
Rumor or not, we can't let this thing fail.
It's for charity now, and we're
gonna prove everyone wrong.
Yes.
You know Marvin and I are all in.
Thank you.
I don't doubt it.
And you can put
Bob and I down, too.
Yeah, we've been cooking up something that's electrifying.
Really?
What is that?
You can put down DJ Frankenstein--
Not another word, Mary Louise.
I do not want any spoilers.
That's exactly what Jared said.
He's not doing
something with you?
No, he insisted
on doing something solo.
What about you guys?
Ned asked me
to join up with him.
Really?
What are you going as?
I'd tell you, but he
made me sign an airtight
non-disclosure agreement.
I will say the stakes are very high with this one.
What does airtight mean to you, exactly?
EMILY: And what about you, Pamela?
Don't ask.
You know that Helen and I are ride or die.
I wasn't asking you to tag along.
I have something very
special up my sleeve anyway.
Well, I hope that it's spooky, because we've
got something that's gonna push that Nosferatu meter
to a high 5.
Ah!
Haha, yeah!
Uh, yeah, touchdown, Bob.
Now, empty those tubs
because they're contaminated.
You're a lucky
lady, Mary Louise.
[spooky music]
EMILY: I don't know why that keeps happening to you, Gram.
You trying to tell me something?
I don't know what
the stress levels are
like on the other side
there, but let me tell you,
they are getting pretty
high around here.
I'm just trying to balance it all,
you know, Jared, and the HOA and my work and all the activities.
And I really just want
to make you proud.
She is proud.
Are you sure about that?
Yeah.
The whole neighborhood
is, especially me.
Oh, honey.
I'm proud of you, too.
Even after
my near impeachment?
OK, so it wasn't exactly your brightest moment,
but it did show me how much you care about your mom.
And I love that about you.
And I love
everything about you.
I gotta tell you.
There was this moment at the bake-off when they announced
my name as the winner.
Mm-hmm.
It was the first time I had heard someone else say
it out loud, Emily Farnsworth.
I just had this surge
of joy and love,
and it just filled my heart
from bottom to top.
That is, of course, until it was totally ruined when Pamela
face planted into the ground.
But for a moment, it was perfect.
I'm so proud to be married to you.
Thank you for saying that.
I needed to hear that.
I think I was
really good at being
your boyfriend, your fiance.
And feel like I'm dropping the ball a little as your husband.
Oh, honey, come on.
Marriage, this is new for both of us.
I mean, there's no shame
in needing practice.
Yeah.
I think if we're willing to be honest about what's
going on inside, the good,
the bad, the ugly,
I think we'll be just fine.
Yeah, I think so too.
I am a little worried about
all these rumors that are going
around about Ashlynn Ashworth.
I just-- I don't even know what to believe anymore.
Even if they
are true, so what?
This entire neighborhood
is pulling together.
And if she thinks that we're gonna fall apart on live TV,
she's dead wrong.
You're absolutely right.
This neighborhood is so special.
And if people don't
get it, that's on them.
You know what?
I'm gonna stay up and work on my book a little bit.
OK.
You don't have to wait up.
Take all the time you
need 'cause I am planning
a little surprise for us.
[gentle music]
Are you a good
witch or a bad witch?
I was gonna ask
you the same thing.
Why?
I'm clearly Glinda the good.
I know. Sorry.
I don't know why I said that.
You look cute, but what's
with the headset?
Well, somebody's
gotta run the show, so--
l get that.
I'm excited Where's
your husband?
Oh, he's been
out running errands
for the carnival all day.
I think he's waiting for the big reveal.
He doesn't want anyone
to see his costume
till the last minute.
I'll make sure
the cameras are rolling.
OK, yeah.
I should probably go.
All right, thanks.
Ty, let's get B-roll.
What do they say?
Wickedness was never happiness.
But this outfit begs to differ.
You look amazing.
Thank you.
Where is your costume.
I told you, it's a surprise.
OK, well, you better hurry up.
I can't be seen with a Halloween humbug.
I would not dream of it.
I don't know what to think.
I just can't tell
if she's up to no good.
It doesn't matter.
Look at this cul-de-sac.
You're literally
surrounded by loved ones.
You got this.
There you go.
Gotta go.
Look who's coming up.
(SINGING) Ghosts goblins
MARY LOUISE: Look who's coming.
Oh, yeah.
(SINGING) --when you think they aren't there
BOTH: Hello!
Happy Halloween.
(SINGING) Playing tricks--
See you later.
Happy Halloween.
LUNA: Happy Halloween.
Ah, good morrow to you.
What are you?
30?
No, out of here.
Out.
You did my taxes last year.
You can't trick or treat.
You're too old.
[french] I'm afraid of the dinosaur.
What are you?
Mon dieu.
And don't come back.
I hope it picks up.
I'm not worried.
You think it has anything
to do with pretty
pink princess over there?
I mean, I hope not.
Oh, yeah, I see how it is.
You don't show up
for Helen's harp recital,
but you make it
to the Halloween party.
Sorry, sis.
You know I can't pass up a good
old-fashioned fright fest.
It is a full moon, but keep the scares to a minimum.
Emily will have you
removed from the premises.
It's true.
I'm more Teen Wolf than full blown Lycan.
What--
Lycan is nerdy little
brother speak for werewolf.
The lore is very important to me,
especially at this time of year.
Do you accept cashier's checks?
Oh, sure.
I don't see why not.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
These are great, by the way.
Yeah.
All right, scare you guys later.
Bucky, this isn't Costco.
Those aren't free samples.
No, no, no.
Let him have it.
Like it or not,
the man is generous.
[WILLIE DIXON, "I AIN'T
SUPERSTITIOUS"]
Well, I ain't superstitious
But a black cat crossed my trail
Well, I ain't superstitious--
Sister.
Who dares receive it other
as we shall make our griefs and
clamor roar upon this death?
And now, straight from Transylvania,
some dark magic from Dracula.
I want to blow your mind.
Ah, haha!
False face must hide what the false heart doth know.
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
I hope I haven't made a mistake.
[smoke puffs]
Ah.
Oh!
You are like me now, my love.
Ho, ho, ho.
All right, everybody, let's give it up for DJ Frankenstein
and his boo thang.
[cheering]
[music playing]
(SINGING) If you're
looking at our costumes
And you're feeling kind of jelly
I'll tell you a story by the Lady Mary Shelley
(SINGING) This tale is guaranteed to send
a shiver down your spine
It's about the one
and only Dr. Frankenstein
(SINGING) He ignored his friends at school
and didn't listen to his teachers
He went around his lab just
to work on his creature
(SINGING) It took a bolt of lightning
to bring the thing to life
And then when he was done
He started working on his wife
Doctor what?
(SINGING) Doctor, doctor
Dr. Frankenstein.
- (SINGING) Doctor who?
(SINGING) Doctor, doctor
Dr. Frankenstein
[cheering]
EMILY: Hey.
Hey.
I-- I should have said this earlier, but I just wanted
to thank you for your kindness.
It meant a lot
to Jared and all of us,
really, that you were willing to give us a second chance.
Please, don't mention it.
And I want to give
you something.
It's-- it's not totally finished.
It's the dummy.
But in the spirit of Ever Scream Lane,
it's about a little
scarecrow who
loves the tricks of Halloween and
a witch who loves the treats.
And, well, they figure
out that they can
both have a Happy Halloween.
It's so cute.
Oh, look.
It's us.
Who did this?
Oh, I did it.
Yeah, I-- I did it.
I-- you know, this whole season has been full of ups and downs,
but it's really inspired me to get back to doing what I love.
And you were a huge
part of that.
I don't understand.
You've just always
known what you've wanted,
and you've gone for it.
And I truly admire that.
And I may have gotten a little sidetracked,
but I realized I gotta get back to doing what I love,
which is writing books.
Well, thank you for this.
And thank you for what you said when you visited the studio.
It really helped me put
everything into perspective.
I could have been a lot nicer to you as well.
Maybe now we can start over?
I'd really like that.
Yeah?
Yeah, I'd really like that.
And just a heads-up, you
might want to send some more
volunteers to the ticket booth.
- Oh, really?
ASHLYNN: I've been sharing
the fun on my stories,
and the word is really spreading.
You're about to have a lot
more visitors headed your way.
Oh, thank you.
We're ready for them.
Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for our special guest,
Nickelback on Elm Street.
BOTH: I love Nickelback.
[cheering]
Give it up for the lead singer, Chaddy Kroeger.
[guitar strums]
I realized when I was picking out
this Chaddy Kroeger outfit,
that was the old Jared thinking.
Now, I'm thinking as your husband.
What I really wanted was something for-- for us.
That's what this is.
What is this?
Step into my lair.
[spooky music]
BELINDA: Oh, oh.
Oh, look at their costumes.
Could they be more adorable?
BELINDA: No.
Someone surprised me with
a couple's costume, after all.
I like this so much,
I'm not gonna take it off.
I don't think I could take these off if I wanted to.
Pamela sewed my shirt
into my pants.
Thanks again for making
the fundraiser happen, guys.
They are still
counting donations,
but we have already earned double what we did last year.
We should get some mead.
MARVIN: By the way, a courier
dropped this off today.
You were busy with your tape measure,
so I told him I
would give it to you.
OK, thanks.
What's this?
It's velvet.
I got in.
We're going to Norway!
[cheering]
That is if my wife and I agree after an in-depth discussion.
There you go.
ALBERT: Good save.
Santa Academy!
Yes!
Hey, but tonight's not about Santa.
And we may only have
a few hours left
to celebrate before Christmas takes over so what do you say
we give Halloween all we got?
Happy Halloween.
ALL: Happy Halloween!
LUNA: Halloween is cool.
PAMELA: All right, Ned, I'll have some.
EMILY (VOICEOVER): And thus,
began a new chapter
in the story of Evergreen Lane.
We became the annual go
to place for trick or treating.
And the spooky alley
fundraiser was a huge success.
In order to keep the peace,
we let Pamela and
Helen win the costume contest.
The excitement of my new
children's book,
along with Jared's loving support,
gave me the confidence
to quit my job
and pursue writing full-time.
I know what Gram-Gram was trying to tell me.
The true spirit of Halloween is about remembering the ones you
love and having fun in creating memories
with those that are still here.
If you can remember
that and pass
the tradition
on to the next generation,
that spirit will never truly die.
(SINGING) La, la, la, la, la
[spooky music]