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I heard you got kicked out the mall again?
Yeah. About that... I'm gonna need you to go for me.
I'm looking for a bat that's also a boba tea.
You can't keep starting fights over plushies.
I don't start fights, I finish them.
Hey, um, any idea how to reset the clock
- on a Swedish oven? - No.
But I'm glad to hear your power's back on.
Thanks again. Pay you back as soon as the subletter gets here.
Do you know what that guy's sign is, by the way?
No! But he got kicked out his dorm
for starting a fire, so I feel like that narrows it down.
So, how's it going... with everything?
There's just so much stuff, Kace.
His family didn't want any of it.
Don't worry, we'll go through everything when I get there.
Which is really soon, birthday boy!
Oh, it's too soon.
So, I was actually thinking, how about this year
we just keep our birthdays low key? Just the two of us?
Because I need time to heal or 'cause you hate my LA friends?
Hm... two things can be true.
- Love you. - Doubled.
Oh, by the way, I found a cute rental
in Malibu. It's adorable.
The water comes right to the house. You're gonna love it.
I gotta call you back. Okay?
Okay. Just don't forget, a week from tomorrow.
Hello?
♪ Day after day goes by Where do they all go? ♪
I'm just trying to figure it out.
Have you asked for a raise?
Apparently, I need a more responsible attitude.
You have a very responsible attitude.
- Aw... - Daddy La Brea! What'll it be?
Coffee? Frappe? My demo?
Medium coffee, black.
- Hey, kid. You gonna be okay? - Yeah.
Just a last-ditch effort to not have to rent out my spare room.
- It's kinda my recording studio. - That his dead boyfriend built.
La Brea. Yeah, I know. I'm on my way.
Schmooze one of the execs to let you record here.
Networking stresses me out.
Mobile order for Mag?
- Excuse me, Ryan? - It's Rowan.
I'm sorry, this is gonna sound crazy, but
didn't we date?
I haven't had a girlfriend since middle school,
so unless you're...
Oh, my God. Mag?
- In the flesh. - Wow.
You look, uh, so...
Yeah, I... didn't even recognize you.
- I'll take that as a compliment? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. No...
I know, the glow-up is real. And I mean, wow. Look at you.
Well, I wish I could talk. I...
I gotta cosplay responsible barista today.
Well, let's catch up over drinks later.
Another night, for sure. Yeah. I got a new roommate coming.
- Need to move boxes to storage. - I'll help!
Oh, I couldn't but thank you.
Okay, well, I work here now.
- So... - Oh?
I'm sure we'll see a lot more of each other.
Cool. Yeah...
Hey, Mag!
I hope you like cosmos!
Oh, a hand truck.
Okay, now this is the kind of apartment
that I should be looking for!
Wow!
You hear that? I think it's brick.
- This place has great bones. - Calm down, H.G.T.V.
I was an interior decorator in a past life.
I've still got a ton of samples in storage
if you ever wanna refresh.
Sure. Yeah, I'd love that.
Aw... What happened to him?
Oh, Tucker? He passed away.
How did you know something happened to him?
I saw it
with my third eye.
I'm kidding. You're not wearing a ring.
- Oh. - I'm sorry. Still fresh?
Oh, you're fine.
Still trying to figure it all out.
You know, you don't realize how much you rely on someone until
all the things they did start to pile up.
Well, one less thing on the pile.
- Boxes? - Uh, yeah.
♪ Close your eyes I'll make you count today ♪
♪ Anywhere I've ever been ♪
- Should we open this? - Oh, I don't drink much since...
I just don't wanna overshoot the mark.
You don't strike me as someone who'd lose control like that.
- Yeah, neither did Tucker. - Is that how he...
Yeah, he fell asleep on his back,
and, uh... and threw up.
If I was home, I would've heard him,
but I wasn't.
I can pick the lock on any door.
You told me a secret, so I'm telling you one of mine.
- Okay. - Okay. Truth or dare?
- Dare? - Yes!
I dare you
- to open the wine. - Okay. Give me that.
- Okay. Truth or dare? - Dare.
This building has a rooftop pool, but it closes at ten.
I dare you to break us in.
♪ I wasn't even Looking him over ♪
♪ I'm staying steady While you're a rolling stone ♪
Don't worry, it's heated.
Um, yeah... I can't swim.
You're in luck. I'm an excellent teacher.
Yeah, you're getting it!
Are you 100% gay?
So, I can't claim a gold star, but yes.
So you're saying there's a chance?
Truth or dare?
Truth.
- Biggest regret? Mm. - Oh! Um, okay.
Well, when I was too small to know any better...
- Mm? - My hamster bit me.
I wanted to punish him, but I didn't wanna
see him suffer. I, um...
I put him in a shoebox and buried it in the sand.
Okay, American Psycho Two!
Um... truth.
When did you feel the most loved?
When I came out, I told my friend KC
that it felt like I'd spent my whole life whispering.
She gave me my first guitar
with a note that said, "To help them hear you."
- Aw! Are you still friends? - Ride-or-die, for sure.
Aw... I had a best friend once.
- Yeah? - Yeah. Meagan McKenzie.
Meagan McKenzie?
Double first names are destined for popularity.
We were inseparable...
Until she got into Stanford.
And then she didn't have time for a nobody like me.
Well, look at you now.
- I'm sure she'd die. - Yeah.
Oh... When did you feel the most loved?
Probably the night you kissed me.
- What! - What?
I'm sure you've had better kisses since ninth grade.
Well, now that I look like this.
But, back then, you saw me for who I was,
and you still chose me.
Wow. Thank you.
That's actually really sweet. Awkward, but... but sweet.
Hey!
There's coffee on the burner.
- Is that my demo? - Oh, yeah.
How'd you get into my laptop?
You left it open, silly.
Oh, I hope you don't mind? It's really good, Ry.
Certainly got more energy than I do in the morning.
- It's 3:00 P.M. - What?
Oh, my God. I'm gonna be late for work!
And I needed to stop at the gym before!
Okay... Aw, this looks amazing.
I wish I could enjoy it, but you stay as long as you want.
Oh, just leave the key
under the doormat for when the subletter gets here.
- See you tonight? - Uh...
Yeah, maybe.
- I'll let you know. - Have a good day.
Mary! Where were you?
- I'm literally drowning here. - Opal, you have, like
two customers.
Okay, I need a favor.
If I don't cancel my gym membership today,
I'll overdraft my account.
And the guy won't be there after I'm off.
You're asking your shift lead to lie for you?
- Yes. - What's in it for me?
- Whatever you want. - We love a blank check favor.
- Deal. - Thank you.
I can cancel it, but the fee's, like, really high.
- So either way, I'm screwed. - Yeah. I'm sorry.
You know what? Just cancel it. I'll figure it out.
- Oh, no! - What?
The computer glitched.
Looks like you're paid through the new year.
Are you sure? Don't get in trouble.
What are they gonna do, fire me?
- I start as a trainer tomorrow. - They could still fire you.
Check it out!
Brady.
First three sessions on me.
So I'll text you?
- Yeah! Whatever. - Or whatever.
Yeah.
Oh! Any chance I could get a refund for those prepaid months?
- Bro... - Worth a shot.
- Whoa. - Oh, God!
I'm so sorry, Mr... uh, Davey.
You say you're recording an E.P.?
- Yeah. - Hm. Walk with me.
Um... Okay.
- So what's your genre? - Oh, I'm a singer-songwriter.
It's kind of like an acoustic guitar thing.
Oh, okay.
So where do you perform?
Oh, my bedroom. I'm kidding.
Sorry, I'm nervous. Um...
But I do have songs recorded. I could email you some.
Up or down?
No, thank you. I've got to work.
The responsible choice. You're right.
Look, you email me, it's gonna get lost in my inbox.
- You got a physical copy? - Not on me.
I keep my lunches on a Wednesday open.
I'll let the desk know to expect you at noon.
- It's Rowan... - Uh, Rush.
Rowan Rush. Oh, my God. Thank you, Davey.
This is beyond generous.
- Yeah, but, I've gotta... - Go, go, go.
- Yep, okay. - See you next week.
- Thank you. Oh, my God! - Mm-hm.
Ah, fuck it.
Look! Davey La Brea just followed me.
- Register, bitch. Now! - Thank you, Opal.
So gross.
Hi, welcome to Teal Onyx. What can I get you?
Uh...
So?
What do you think?
I don't know what to say.
- You hate it. - No, no! It... It looks amazing.
It's just. I can't accept all this.
- They're all samples, girl. - Oh. Where's Ian?
My subletter.
Oh! Gosh, uh... Can you call him?
It was through a roommate app. Um...
"I'm sorry, I can't. Don't hate me."
Did he just "Sex in the City" you?
- This has to be a joke. - Okay, look...
I need a place to live. You need a roommate.
Oh, I don't know.
Just until you're back on your feet, mama.
- Okay. Mm. - Okay?
Oh, my God! We'll be just like Will and Grace.
Yay.
Oh, yeah!
Ooh!
Almost as sharp as your nails.
Hey. What does this one do?
Tiger's eye is for courage and protection.
Roman soldiers engraved it and wore it into battle.
Hm, and look how it turned out for them.
Sorry, I don't do fairy tales.
This isn't a fairy tale.
Sure. It's... it's all very real.
You know what? It couldn't hurt.
I'd try anything at this point. Oh, God! I hate closing!
- Mwah! - I'll see you after.
"Almost as sharp as your nails." "I don't do fairy tales."
"Sure. It's all very really fucking real." Ouch!
Ouch!
Hello, Ryan.
Tucker and I used to throw an annual Halloween party.
Obviously, I'm canceling this year.
- Long day? - About to be longer.
My friend's a bartender,
so we meet up for drinks sometimes after she closes.
Oh, my God. Fun!
I can't wait to make friends here.
I left out a little thank you.
For protection.
Hey, Mag? Get dressed.
You good?
Yeah, it's my first time.
- At Diva Dive? - At a gay bar.
Oh.
- Oh, not you again. - Hey, babe.
Mag, this is Jude, and you might recognize her partner, Opal.
Mag the hag.
I meant... um...
- "Hag" as in... as in "fag hag". - Yeah, I caught that.
Where's the rest of the bachelorette party?
Oh, go easy on her, guys. She's new.
Did I say something wrong?
No, no. Just an outdated term that demeans both
the woman using it and the gay person she's accessorizing with.
Uh, where's the bathroom?
- Of course. Excuse me. - I'll come?
No, I'm good.
Would it kill you to be friendly?
It's not my job to educate her.
And yet
Stupid Mag, stupid Mag.
Stupid...
Ah!
I'm fine... Something I ate is all.
I'm fine. Something I ate is all.
- Come on. - No...
God, I don't...
- Since when does Ryan need... - Rowan.
Since when does Rowan
need someone else's approval to have fun?
- Jeez. No, you're right. - There he is.
I just think it's all happening a little fast.
Don't rush building something if you actually want it to last.
Okay, you got that from the zodiac app.
No, you know, I canceled that.
Baby, it's like 60 bucks a month.
You can't put a price on accuracy.
- Who are you talking to? - No one. I'm running lines.
- You don't act. - Everyone in LA acts.
Okay... Hm! Wrap it up. We need to sweep.
It's girls' night, bitch!
Is Rocky Road still your fav?
Yeah.
Hey, uh, is this about the other night?
Oh, come on! One girls' night?
I've been practicing my tongue pop. Wanna hear?
No, no, no... You're good.
Let's do it. Just please stop calling it a...
Girls' night!
Oh, no, wait. I forgot the bananas.
Pull up the trainer. I want to see the Blaine to your Kurt.
Okay...
- That's Brady. - Oh!
What a waste. The hottest ones are always gay.
I'm still trying to figure that out.
Okay, Nancier Drew!
- Okay, sometimes you say... - I have an awkward ques...
- Sorry. - You go first.
Things I say always seem to
come out wrong, and it's embarrassing.
It's okay. I could probably be more understanding.
Can you show me how you give head?
- What? Are you serious? - What?
I heard that gay guys do it better. Oh, my God.
Okay, just pretend I never asked. See?
I told you I'm embarrassing.
No, it's okay. Sit down. You're not embarrassing.
Give that here.
Okay, so first... You wanna start with just the tip.
- Mm-hm? - Okay?
Making him want more by focusing all your attention
there.
So, it's like...
Good night.
Good night!
I don't know what I'd do without you.
- Who still uses CDs, right? - Right?!
- Knock 'em dead. - Are you not coming?
Wednesdays are remote.
Oh... I really wanted you to be there.
Hey! You totally got this.
You're already a star.
♪ Dream chaser Right from the start ♪
♪ Dream chaser Look where we are ♪
- Is this your first time here? - I'm one of the baristas.
Oh!
Rowan! Make yourself at home.
- Do you need anything? - Something to drink? Coffee?
- No, thank you. - We're good. Close behind you.
Have a seat.
I've always wondered what it was like up here.
- So, what do you think? - It's, uh... It's very...
- Green. - That's what I said!
I like you, kid. You remind me of myself when I was new.
I think this is gonna be a very fruitful friendship.
- Up or down? - I'm good.
All right.
Let's hear it.
♪ Sad, glad, mad, hurt, Afraid, ashamed ♪
♪ Six basic feelings are What make us all the same ♪
♪ In LA everybody knows ♪
♪ There's one more feeling And that feeling's LA Close ♪
Okay, okay, okay. I see where this is going.
There's more, too. If...
You'll get a $60k advance on a 70/30 split.
- Are you saying... - Before you turn that down,
that split is typical for new artists.
No... I mean, yes!
I've been dreaming about Teal Onyx since I started.
So let's make that dream come true.
I'm sorry.
I don't wanna give you the wrong idea.
I want to keep this relationship,
you know, strictly business.
I don't want to give you the wrong idea, but
this is the business.
You're free to walk away. Consent is important to me.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I can't.
Don't be stupid, kid.
You walked through those doors worth nothing.
You don't have to leave that way.
Do you need validation?
"Up or down?" So fucking gross.
He's, like, textbook sleazy.
I should've stopped him sooner.
- Hey... - Hm?
No one teaches you what to do in a situation like that.
I could take a self-defense class.
Bam!
Okay, you don't need a class for that.
Come on. Palm heel strike or the front kick?
The front kick sounds gayer.
Okay. How do you just have all these random skills?
Hm! Books, mostly.
I'm sure you have skills that I don't know about.
In high school, I was a competitive shooter.
- I cannot see you with a gun. - Republican parents.
Well, I was an off-grid baby, so instead of elementary school,
my parents just dropped me off at the library.
- What's an off-grid baby? - No one registered my birth.
- So, Mag Thorne doesn't exist? - Well, I do now.
- Okay, here. Match my stance. - Okay.
- So... - Yeah?
You wanna drive it straight up,
keeping your foot and shin relaxed.
And then extend your leg... and strike.
Like a showgirl! See, I knew it was gay.
You got it.
Oh! You're gonna get it.
So, um...
What?
Let's do the Halloween party.
You can take your mind off things. Invite your gym crush.
I'll be absolutely delusional to throw a whole ass party
just to hook up with Brady.
Checks out.
- Help me make the invites. - Yes. Yay!
Oh...
Hey, twin! Thanks for calling back.
Is this a paper invite?
Retro man. Awesome. Oh, Echo Park?
That's uh... that's actually where my ex-girlfriend lived.
- Work. - Yes, work.
Let's get back to it. Ten more then the weight goes up.
Help!
I've got a Temu-ergency.
I think it's... cute?
It's tight.
Hold up. We're not bobbing for apples, right? Super gross.
Haven't you already swapped spit with half the guests?
What a pragmatic slut-shame!
Oh...
Oh, yeah. I don't know if we can fix that. It's nylon.
Oh, my God. I need a plan B, asap.
Something I already have clothes for.
We could go as each other?
That's stupid.
I love it.
Okay...
- Yeah. - Yeah?
Almost, almost.
Hang on. Okay.
Guard this with your life.
- Tucker made it for me. - Oh, Rowan!
Wow.
I really am you.
- Is that... - Countess Alaska?
- I helped. - Ooh, authentic!
Get that ponytail, bitch! I see the human hair!
But you lose points for going as Mag.
Get it out your system because when she gets here,
you're gonna make her feel so welcome.
I'm allowed to be salty.
That hand dryer she broke was, like, $400.
The fact that you actually think she did that is so telling.
Dibs on the guy that just walked in.
- If that's okay with you, babe. - It's not.
Hi.
Christian Bale. Christian Bale!
Stunning. I'm Opal.
Hi, I'm Brady. Good to meet you.
- Hi. - Jude.
All right, come on, let's see, let's see.
It's not guessable, I promise.
No, no! I got it. I got it. You're, um... She-Rex?
No, he's a hag.
Look, then you're definitely gonna need an apple, right?
Oh, no, I can't.
- Oh! Okay. - Hey... No hands.
Ooh, this thing is getting hot.
Be right back. I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
Oh, follow the skeleton fingers.
- Do you need another one? - I'm good.
Be right back.
Sorry, I'm late.
- You could've just worn a hat. - I wanted a new look anyway.
Okay... This is wild!
- Let's get a selfie. - Oh, I'm a little camera-shy.
Let me just get some liquid courage first. Okay?
Okay, Diva! Look at you.
You are a hotter Rowan than Rowan.
Sounds stupid... I love it.
Okay, she is coming with us. Come on. Come on, Mag.
- Cheers. - To Mags.
Wait, wait! Do another.
It would be delusional to throw a whole ass party
just to hook up with Brady.
Wait, wait! We've got limes, and no one's doing body shots yet?
No. Hold up.
Let's go.
You know what? I like you better like this.
Hit me.
I got you.
We're doing body shots? All right, go.
Come and get it.
Oh!
- All right! - Oh, my God.
Hey.
- That was fucking vodka? Damn! - Mm-hm!
I see you've met Brady.
Wait, this is Brady?
- I've heard so much about you. - Not that much.
For a second there, Mag,
I could've sworn I was watching me.
Right! No. This is fucking wild. She's like you, but with tits.
- With boobs. Um, with breasts. - Wait, wait, wait!
- Mag, show him your prop. - Oh...
She googled what gays bring to parties.
Poppers.
Did I get the wrong brand?
- Take a photo. - Will you do the honors?
Happy Halloween!
You gotta get in with us!
Yeah! Mag, Mag, Mag! Come on!
All right! Mag, Mag, You're not in the photo!
It's okay. Opal.
- Say cheese! - Yeah!
Where in Pennsylvania?
Mag?
Hello?
I'm sorry, where what?
Where did you and Rowan grow up?
Oh...
No, I didn't. I moved after eighth grade.
- I was just there a year. - Yeah, but where?
- West Chester. - You know that, babe.
You went to high school with Rowan?
- You did? - Yeah, one town over.
They funneled our middle schools together for high school.
What was yours called again?
Why? You finally gonna finish eighth grade?
- Who was your class president? - Relax, human captcha.
You want the last four of her social?
Quiet! I'm asking her.
I think we've had enough to drink.
I just think you'd know.
- I wouldn't. - Trust me, she would.
Hell, it, um...
It was a long time ago.
- Ouch! - Oh, my God!
Jude! Jude! Oh, my God!
- Is there a first aid kit? - Uh...
Oh, my God.
- Are you okay? - No, it was her.
- She tripped me! - Why would...
I am trying to help you.
I think you just had a little too much to drink.
- I'm fine, dickwad! - You sure look fine...
She's the one I have a problem...
- Okay. - A little help.
- Okay. You know... - Okay, let's get you home, baby.
Whatever.
It's fine, we've all been there.
So, uh... What's Pennsylvania like?
I've never been out the country.
It's hot...
Very hot.
- You hag! - Okay, okay.
Wait... So who was class president?
No one remembers middle school, Opal.
But who was it, Ro?
It was me.
Have you seen Mag and Brady?
Hey.
Can we come in?
Sure.
Come here, buddy.
- Uh, sorry. - Hi...
You did not forget I was coming.
Who's that, though?
Consider this my himbo era.
- Warm up? No? - No, I'm good, thanks.
Oh, Mag! Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you.
There's some coffee if you... if you want it.
Um... Hey, Mag,
meet my twin, KC.
- Hi. - You're an only child.
But our birthdays are close,
so in college, we told people we were twins.
Cool story.
You must be the one he's been sending me to voicemail for.
No one bobbed for apples last night. Now we have a million.
I always have one after my morning run.
How many mornings will that be, exactly?
- Uh, barely a week. Yeah? - Yeah.
Yeah, and then a weekend in Malibu with this guy.
The big two nine! Can you believe it?
I guess it's ruined now, but...
I was gonna surprise you with a "quarter-life crisis" party.
That's so sweet of you, Mag, but we just had a big party.
I feel a little spent.
I just... I really don't want all the attention right now.
Yeah, he really loves attention, so that's saying a lot.
- Oh, fuck you. - Doubled!
Um, but let's plan for something when I'm back.
Really great meeting you, KC.
You, too.
♪ If I had a crystal ball ♪
♪ I don't think I'd change Anything at all... ♪
Here on a Sunday. Come through, overtime!
Double cinnamon skinny latte.
Oh, you're good.
Hey, I shouldn't have sprung KC on you like that yesterday.
- It wasn't fair to you. - You could've just asked.
I know, I'm sorry. I screwed up.
Friends?
Duh.
- All yours, diva. - And the online order?
I hate that I still have to see that creep every day.
Tea... One of the bartenders told Jude,
Davey makes musicians blow him, and he films it on a spy cam.
Is that right?
Speaking of trash, I'm gonna take ours out.
- See you at home? - See you then.
- Bye, Opal. - Hey, Mag.
- Can I show you something? - Hm! So secretive.
- What's the hot goss? - See this ticket?
It's a mobile order.
Customers place them on our website and pick them up to go.
Yeah, I know how it works. I get our office order every day.
This is a delivery service ticket.
If a customer uses a delivery app,
a yellow ticket is generated
so their courier can pick up their order for them.
Do you want to guess what color yours are, Mag?
I'm just looking out for you, girl.
Obviously, you don't want Rowan to catch you lying
about being a Teal Onyx exec.
So just Door Dash or whatever when I'm working, too.
Why would you help me?
Because friends help each other out, Mag.
We're friends, aren't we?
Sure thing...
Friend.
Sorry! I didn't mean to scare you.
- True crime podcast. - Oh, I can't stomach that stuff.
Yeah, I guess most people run listening to music.
So quirky!
Listen, um... I think we got off on the wrong foot.
- And that's my fault. - Yeah, I get it.
I would've been pissed, too.
I mean, you're his old best friend.
I'm his new one.
Didn't you, like, just move here?
Rowan's always saying how funny you are.
I totally see it. Okay, come on.
- There we go, get in. - Thanks.
I know, it's crazy.
He's never told me that before. It's weird.
- Wow. - Hey, you two.
- Hey, girl. - Good run?
I'm paying dearly for it.
Oh, then you'll love this.
Consider it my apology. I swear I'm not a brat.
Hm? K-Spa?
I booked you the works tonight.
This bathhouse even has a restaurant.
I wanna go to the bathhouse?
Baby, it's not that kind of bathhouse.
Oh, what other kind is there?
I dunno what to say.
- Have fun! - It's so nice of you...
You don't have to sneak around. I know you're there.
You were asleep when I got home. But Rowan wasn't.
You know, if you wanted a night alone with him,
you could've just asked.
What do you mean?
There wasn't a reservation, Mag.
Oops.
Maybe I put it under my name?
You didn't.
I mean, what was the game plan, anyway?
Because obviously, I was gonna come back here and tell Rowan.
It's giving... messy?
I'm never messy.
You play Dorothy-out-of-Kansas in front of him.
But I see exactly who you are.
Petty, jealous, desperate.
You're just a fast friend who's gonna be forgotten even faster.
- Oh, my God! Mag. - Ouch.
- Oh, just hold on. - I'm fine.
- Here, here, here. - I said I'm fucking fine!
Fine. I'll put it back, then!
- Whose bag is that? - I don't know. Probably Brady's.
Can I come in?
I'm busy, Mag.
Ow.
Please! I'm sorry.
- We can talk tomorrow. - Please, Rowan!
I'm sorry!
Hey...
Is there anything that talking right now is gonna fix?
Come here, come here.
I can fix this.
Miss? You can leave that here.
I'm supposed to take this one straight to the big guy himself.
Yeah, just put it over there.
Yeah. Wait...
Okay, you are absolutely gonna regret that.
I want you to listen to my demo.
Oh, yeah, that's...
- That's not how this works. - You're right.
You haven't offered me anything yet. Rude.
Okay... I'm calling security.
Up or down, Mr. La Brea?
See, a smart man
would've already wiped the card inside, but
you don't look like a very smart man.
You... look talentless enough for a shortcut.
So what do you want?
You're gonna sign Rowan Rush and offer him a 50/50 split.
He is one lucky barista.
And you're a basic-bitch predator.
See, that's what you all get wrong.
Consent is important to me.
Right? If anything, they are the predators.
They come through those doors and they know exactly
what they want to take.
Sometimes I let them.
Monologue to your therapist.
I'd rather leak whatever's on here anyway.
Wait...
B-T-dubs, I need you to pause on free drinks for a hot sec.
Management wants me to crack down.
Copy that.
Delivery for Mag. You forgot one.
Wait, can I see that?
So she's lying about working there?
Also sus her digital footprint amounts to an IG of sunsets.
Okay, you're not even on socials.
Yeah, but you know me.
You don't know anything about her. Not really.
You're right.
Listen, I've been thinking about moving back to LA for a while,
so why don't I just take over her room?
It'll be so much fun. It'll be like college again.
Mag...
I... I didn't hear you come home.
Obviously.
Mag! Wait a minute. Mag! Wait.
Davey wants you to meet him tomorrow.
In public. At the café.
- Why? - He wants to make things right.
I talked to him because that's what friends do, Ryan.
- Are we friends? - Of course, we are.
Sounds like you two have some stuff to work out.
- I'll be back later. - Have fun.
His name's not Ryan, by the way. But you keep calling him that.
When I met him, it was Ryan.
The identity he was trapped in was Ryan.
The person he chose to become is Rowan.
Have some fucking respect.
I'm sorry. I'll talk to her.
Okay, baby, focus.
Would they be anywhere in this vicinity?
I don't know. I can't be late again.
They were on your nightstand.
They're a godsend.
I really gotta stop losing these.
I checked there.
Bye, KC -Bye.
Bye.
Hmm...
Hello!
That is not Mag.
Uh, KC?
- Hello? KC! - Coming!
Why's my door locked?
Oh, you can never be too safe, right?
- Hey. - I forgot my purse.
Well, I'm gonna go for a run. Later.
Hm... Aren't you forgetting something?
Oh, yeah. Thanks.
Have fun running.
You didn't poison it, did you?
No.
- But I spit in it. - Hm.
Look, I'm sorry things got out of hand.
My intention was not to hurt you.
Your intention was clear.
I am willing
to make you an offer.
Is this real?
It's real.
Thank you.
Yeah, don't thank me.
Thank Mag.
♪ You taste like poison, honey ♪
♪ Goes down Like sugar, honey... ♪
Hm...
- Was that Davey La Brea? - Mag talked to him for me.
The deal's back on. But, I gotta go...
Listen, Mag is not who she says she is, okay?
I found this hidden in her underwear drawer.
I mean, yeah, that's Mag before she lost all the weight.
Rowan, baby, that is a different woman.
She's got six different women's IDs. She could be dangerous.
It's sweet you're trying to protect me,
but it's not that serious. I'm sure there's an explanation.
Let's ask Mag about it when I get off.
Let's ask Mag about it?
Should we invite her to Malibu, too?
So, about that.
Mag thinks we should lay down some vocals this weekend.
Turns out we really are the company we keep.
I'm gonna fly back home.
Happy birthday.
Mag?
911, what's your emergency?
Hello?
KC?
Mom, stop leaving me voice mails. Just text me.
Mag. Mag. Mag. Mag...
They all look like Mag to me.
Meagan McKenzie.
- Hey! - Hey, diva.
I heard about your big day, so,
so I got you a little congratulations present.
Oh...
- I had one of these at Stanford. - You said you never got in.
Did I?
So you won't ever lose your keys again.
- Or your apartment... - Oh!
- A smart tag and a spare key? - Yeah, the smart tag is
functional, but the rest is, like, symbolic.
What I'm saying is...
I own the condo and you can live here
for free.
What do you mean own?
All it took was an above-market offer
for property management to hand it over.
Now we're roomies for life.
Mag... No.
This... This gift is too big.
Hey, you deserve all this and more.
- Hey, Ry? - Yeah?
Why were you in my panty drawer?
Why do you have so many fake IDs?
I knew you'd find out eventually.
I'm not an executive at Teal Onyx Records.
Davey La Brea hired me
to do some specialized accounting for him.
What kind of accountant has five fake IDs?
The kind that launders money.
I use them to create shell companies
that can't be traced back to me.
The money's like, stupid good.
And that secret gave me the leverage I needed
- to get you a record deal. - You blackmailed him?
Oh! It's not blackmail if it comes from a loving place.
Sorry, still processing here. Um...
Is it dangerous? Am I in danger?
No, girl, this isn't Ozark.
Just a harmless white-collar crime.
I mean, I don't love the secret, but... it does explain a lot.
Hey...
You weren't thinking something bad about me, were you?
No.
Of course not.
Good, 'cause I'm not gonna lie,
thinking about you in there, touching my things
it was pretty hot.
Do you wanna see if Brady wants another slumber party?
I'm pretty tired.
But you know what? I'm at the gym tomorrow,
so I'll float the idea.
Good boy.
This is KC Mom, stop leaving me voice mails.
Just text me.
We get it, you're mad. But listen, you were right.
Mag's a criminal. Only maybe not the bad kind.
I don't know what to do.
I could really use a friend. Just call me.
♪ Ro-oh-oh-wan, I love you like the oh-ocean ♪
Okay... ♪ Love's a shell ♪
♪ I wish you well ♪
♪ Mm, touch me Like you're straight ♪
♪ Mm, kiss me... ♪
♪ Watching you sleep 'Cause I'm in too deep ♪
♪ I see you ♪
♪ And you're Not going anywhere ♪
I'm just low key dreading going to work right now.
I don't wanna run into Mag.
So don't. I get off in like an hour.
You've got your gym bag. Stay with me tonight.
- Really? - For sure.
Okay -Bet.
Okay. All right, all right, all right.
Okay. That's enough gym for today.
I was actually really good at that.
I believe you. You look scary.
Where's your apron?
No, bitch, I'm trying to clock out.
Opal, you don't understand.
So spill. If what's going on is juicy enough, I'll consider it.
I knew she wasn't right.
- Didn't I tell you? - That's exactly why I need this.
Fine. I'll cover your ass again. Go.
Thank you. Thank you.
- Hey. - Hey!
- You look amazing. - Oh! You just saw me in this.
True then, true now.
- Do you like pasta? - Yeah.
It's the only thing I know how to cook.
- Mm! - Right?
Oh, shit!
Oh...
- Hey, hag. - Ugh. Not the mini boss.
I'm skipping this level.
Rowan? Rowan!
Where's Rowan?
- What aren't you telling me? - What are you offering me?
Because you made so good on our deal last time?
The terms of that offer expired.
What do you want?
A meeting with Davey La Brea.
That's it? Okay. Sure.
God...
For a second, I thought you were gonna ask for something weird.
♪ Sad, glad, mad, hurt, Afraid, ashamed ♪
♪ Six basic feelings are What make us all the same ♪
♪ In LA everybody knows ♪
♪ There's one more feeling ♪ -
♪ LA Close, you know That deal's around the corner ♪
♪ LA Close, your dreams Are just one yes away ♪
♪ My friends are the reason I'm still talking ♪
♪ My friends are the ones Who keep me strong ♪
♪ My friends light the darkness That I'm walking ♪
♪ I am the voice But they're the song ♪
♪ LA Close, I know That deal's around the corner ♪
♪ LA Close, my dream Is just one yes away ♪
♪ So LA Close that I don't wanna get my hopes up ♪
♪ LA Close, I wanna stay ♪
♪ LA Close is why we stay ♪
Yeah, I mean, it's got a great hook,
but wasn't it on Rowan's demo?
He gifted me the rights as a favor.
Who would've thought that one little coffee shop
would house so much... talent.
David La Brea. Oh, hey, Scooter.
On me.
Yeah, on my way.
- What was that? - Relax. It's my money, too.
- And then my song. - You know what your problem is?
You take and you take and you take.
And the second somebody literally needs
anything from you, you're out.
I'm finally getting what I deserve.
Uh... Thank God you're okay!
I'm fine. The usual?
Iced. But I was worried sick. You could've checked in.
I don't need a parole officer, Mag.
Thanks.
That'll be $4.29.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Never mind. Just go.
Just go.
Okay, but we're talking tonight.
- Go clock out. - Excuse me?
You ignored your final warning.
I hate having to report you, but my hands are tied, babe.
Opal, you don't have to do this.
I didn't do this. You did.
Well, I guess you're closing alone tonight, then.
Be safe.
Oh, and by the way
jealousy's an ugly color on you.
It's all ugly on you, bitch.
I was fucking weird, Jude.
I'm almost done, then I'm on my way.
Be outside in 15.
- Okay. Love you. - Love you, too.
The meeting with Davey wasn't enough?
What do you care? You and Rowan are over.
People fight, Opal. It's normal.
Please, tell me more about normal.
Are you so insecure you have to cut any sign of competition?
You know.
Maybe it's time someone cut you.
Please don't. I'm begging you.
Found your whip.
Fuck!
Hold still and I'll stop.
The terms of that offer expired.
What was your final warning?
No, that definitely wasn't it.
Oh, that's right... No more free drinks.
Ah, shit.
Opal?
I won't... I won't tell anyone.
If there's one thing you taught me at the party, it's that
you can't keep your fucking mouth shut.
You know what? I like you better like this.
What's going on?
Just need some space to clear my head.
Okay, but... Where are you staying? Brady's.
You know, if it wasn't for me, he'd still be a fantasy.
God, you have no idea the day that I've had.
I do everything for you.
I'm asking for space.
- Please, respect that. - Oh, okay. You want space?
- Fine. - Could you close the door.
"I'm asking for space. Please, respect that..."
Okay.
Come on...
Hey. Can I come in?
Not tonight.
- Did something happen? - I think you should go. Okay?
Rowan.
Rowan...
I said go.
That wasn't me, Brady.
- You know me. - Yeah, bro. I thought I did.
You're still here.
- Hi. I'm looking for KC Doll. - Are you family?
- Yeah. She's my twin. - Oh, okay.
Oh, you can come in, hon. I'm almost done.
I never thought I'd see a needle in a trick-or-treat apple.
Some real sickos out there, huh?
- Huh? Yeah. - Yeah.
Yeah.
If you need anything, just come get me, all right?
Okay.
Brady?
Can I sleep in your bed?
Oh, you still tender?
Look, I... I don't think Mag's an accountant.
I think she killed those women.
Way to finally catch the recap.
- I know. It's all my fault. - Yeah. Yeah, it is.
- And I feel terrible. - You should, bitch.
I'm... I'm so, so sorry.
Good, because I love you. And staying mad
while there's a psycho on the loose is counterproductive.
I'm lucky she hasn't gone to the police
- with how bad she looks. - Mm.
Maybe we can find something on her first.
It's just a shame she bought the apartment out from under you.
Hm...
- Is it in her name? - No, it's in yours.
How can she legally do that?
Anyone with a driver's license can.
So there's a copy of it? Thank you.
- New locks won't keep me out. - Good luck picking a smart lock.
Let me in or I call the police
and show them what you did to my face.
I'm sure they'd love to see this.
Keep that copy. I have more.
Oh, Mag.
This is goodbye.
If you say so.
Rowan?
That's sure what it'll look like.
You're free to walk away, Davey.
Consent is important to me.
How's that for talentless?
- Goodbye. - Bye.
- Turn that off. - Hm?
"I saw the news. Hope you're okay."
I've been dreaming about Teal Onyx since I started.
So let's make that dream come true.
I'm not in the mood.
Rough day.
Aw, poor baby.
Tell mama what happened. Huh?
I saw a dead body.
I tried to help him, but he was already cold.
Police said it was an accident, but then they were asking about
Rowan and...
Mag?
What are you doing?
Come on.
- I'll let you call me Rowan. - No. No... Stop.
You suck one dick, now you're totally gay?
Whoa! Hey.
First of all, I'm bi.
You just never asked.
Oh.
That night was fun, but that doesn't mean I want it again.
No, no. I...
I get it.
I wanted to help you as a friend.
Hm.
I have enough friends.
- Oh, my God. Brady! - What the fuck was that?
Are you okay? Here, give me your hand.
Oh, fuck! What the fuck?
Seriously? I just hit you.
And Brady?
Pennsylvania is a state.
- Hey, true-crime girly. - Yeah?
Why would Mag have Jude and Opal's jewelry?
Neither of them posted since Thursday. Is that normal?
No.
Okay.
Okay, this isn't good. Um...
There's a missing person's report out for Opal.
Oh, my God.
- Where'd you say you got those? - On the shoe rack with my boots.
Oh, my God. Rowan, that's blood, baby.
Oh, shit. I set an alert for updates.
Rowan, Davey La Brea is dead.
Asphyxiation. Yeah, it looks like he choked on his own vomit.
- Just like Tucker. - Okay, whatever Mag has done,
she's making sure you take the fall for it.
The police could be on their way.
Or worse, if Mag comes back... Okay, KC you gotta go.
No, that's not happening. Okay?
Let's just skip to the part where we stop her.
I just changed the battery...
No, no. It's not the battery. It's an unwanted tracking alert.
It just goes off when it's traveling with someone unknown.
You still wanna go to Malibu?
LAPD! Open up!
Clear here!
- Clear! - Clear!
Clear!
It's just his phone.
♪♪ Ro-oh-oh-wan... ♪
♪ I love you like the oh-ocean ♪
- ♪ Love's a shell ♪ - Pass the superglue, babe.
♪ I wish you well ♪ -Oh, oops.
You're a little tied up.
♪ Now don't be salty, babe What are you waiting for ♪
♪ It's time to shello-brate Your bestie on the shore ♪
♪ Cause when it's you and me ♪
♪ Only the water's blue Whether you're near or far ♪
♪ Just turn around I'm right behind you ♪
Malibu?
♪ Ride or die ♪
♪ Let's ride ♪
♪ Oh, please believe it Let you take the lead in ♪
♪ Hold on tight Like ride or die ♪
Ready to start a fight?
We're not starting a fight. We are finishing one.
My kind of birthday.
Oh, shit.
It's okay. I almost forgot, too.
I am so sorry, Kace. For all of it.
I was so obsessed with my big break that...
I picked a literal psychopath over you.
We're good. Nobody prepares for a Mag.
I need to do better. Mag or no Mag.
Sure. But protecting us is a pretty good start.
Oh! Protection! I left something in the car.
Oh. Okay.
Rowan?
No! Don't do it!
Hey, sis. How's your mouth?
Time for you... to sashay away.
Do you say anything you didn't steal from queer culture?
Where do you think you got it, huh?
Black culture didn't get a cut of that sale either. Don't move.
What? No gun?
I need to register with an actual government-issued ID
for that. So, I can't buy one.
But I can.
You want me to believe that's real?
Okay, work!
Get up.
Turn around.
Oh! Tie me up, daddy.
Zip ties are in the right pocket.
Rowan!
Hey, KC?
Did Rowan ever tell you about my pet hamster?
Hello? What the f
Can anyone hear me?
Hello?
Hello! KC? Help!
It's gonna take a lot more than recyclables to stop me, babe.
Huh... That's not where I left you.
Okay... Oh, shit.
Okay.
Dope.
Okay.
Fuck.
So...
Where were you born?
Oh, so now you wanna get to know me?
"Oh, so now you wanna get to know me?"
Cute.
"Cute."
Okay, let me try that again.
"Cute."
Was that better?
What are you doing?
Practicing.
Place of birth. Mother's maiden name. First pet.
Go.
Great pick, by the way.
At night, high tide brings the water right up.
The force of the waves onto the rocks
is enough to crack granite,
and as hard-headed as you are
it shouldn't take too long to crack you.
Run!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God, Ryan!
I'm so sorry, I didn't want to hurt you!
Look, but you hurt me too.
Is that what happened to the real Mag?
I was telling the truth about Mag.
The moment she felt the most loved, it was you, Ry.
I'm here because...
I wanted to know what it felt like.
And did you?
Feel loved?
Yes.
Me too.
I'm sorry, Mag.
- We both made mistakes. - Okay.
Yeah, I... I just wish we could hit restart.
Maybe we can.
How?
Same way I became Mag and everyone before her.
I can't imagine what you went through...
Every time.
People taking your help for granted.
I'm always taking care of everyone else,
eliminating obstacles, so they can become their best selves.
- Like Opal and Jude? - Yeah, and Davey.
And the subletter, but he was super weird.
But, no, no...
Eliminating obstacles like your fiancé.
You killed Tucker?
As long as he was doing everything for you,
you would never achieve anything on your own.
You're fucking delusional.
See, I knew you'd get it.
That video might exonerate you, but you'll never be free.
You'll always wake up wondering if
this is the day I may ruin your life again.
As long as I live, I will never let you go.
You're right.
- You can stop recording. - You got everything you need?
Almost.
Ryan, don't!
My name is Rowan!
♪ Ro-oh-oh-wan... I love you like the oh-ocean ♪
♪ Love's a shell I wish you well ♪
It is so weird that you guys do that.
You were right, by the way, best pizza in LA.
Right! Brady takes the day!
I'm so glad you're getting into East Side living.
- It's no New York... - But it is closer to my twin.
- Mm. Love you. - Mm-hm! Doubled.
♪ Days have passed like years Since who I was, was who I am ♪
♪ Build me up to knock me down Just stick around ♪
♪ You'll see me standing ♪
♪ I'm still here ♪
♪ I couldn't find the light So now I'm lighting my own way ♪
♪ I'm still here ♪
♪ I'm still here... ♪
I'm sorry, this is gonna sound crazy, but
didn't we date?
♪ Ro-oh-oh-wan, I love you like the oh-ocean ♪
♪ Love's a shell I wish you well ♪
♪ When you're feeling down I will be there for you ♪
♪ No matter where you go It's friendship avenue ♪
♪ Cause when it's you and me Only the water's blue ♪
♪ The waves are crashing down ♪
♪ They're round our sandy rendezvous ♪
♪ Ro-oh-oh-wan, I love you like the oh-ocean ♪
♪ Love's a shell I wish you well ♪
♪ You're soaking me ♪
♪ Ro-oh-oh-wan, I love you like the oh-ocean ♪
♪ Love's a shell ♪
♪ I wish you well ♪
♪ Now don't be salty, babe What are you waiting for ♪
♪ It's time to shello-brate Your bestie on the shore ♪
♪ Cause when it's you and me Only the water's blue ♪
♪ Whether you're near or far ♪
♪ Just turn around I'm right behind you! ♪
♪ Ro-oh-oh-wan, I love you like the oh-ocean ♪
♪ Love's a shell I wish you well ♪
♪ You're soaking me ♪
♪ Ro-oh-oh-wan, I love you like the oh-ocean ♪
♪ Love's a shell I wish you well ♪
♪ I wish you well ♪