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♪ [“Cinderella Snapped” by Jax plays] ♪
♪ Once upon a time there was a princess. ♪
♪ Waiting for a boy to give back her shoe. ♪
♪ Suck it in, suck it in. Be a wife in a blue dress. ♪
♪ The prettiest piece of property the land ever knew. ♪
♪ She waited and she waited for the guy to show. ♪
♪ But she didn't know♪
♪ that after midnight ♪
♪ he was busy in her stepsister's bed. ♪
♪ So Cinderelly said-- plot twist. ♪
♪ I don't need no Prince to save me, ♪
♪ I'm a goddamn C.E.O.♪
♪ Don't call me baby, equal pay me ♪
♪ Snow White said, “You tried to kiss her, ” ♪
♪ “so I'll just buy a new glass slipper ”♪
♪ “and burn your castle down.”♪
♪ And kids that's how Cinderella snapped. ♪
♪ [ominous orchestra]♪
♪♪♪
-[horses neighing] -[horsemen shouting]
Uh! Oh. Uh. [grunts]
[horsemen shouting]
[horses neighing]
♪♪♪
[horses neighing]
Katherine? Is that you?
Katherine.
We need to leave now.
Something terrible has happened.
What has happened?
The king has placed a bounty upon my head.
What did you do?
I've done nothing.
The king is mistaken.
He thinks I've stolen his jewels.
Oh dear. That doesn't sound good.
[horses galloping] We need to leave immediately.
The king's men are almost upon us.
Upon you, Arthur.
They're almost upon you.
♪ [ominous orchestra]♪
Uh!
Uh! Ah!
Ah!
Hold him up.
[grunts]
Why are you doing this?
I like jewels.
Silence him.
[grunts]
Uh! Uh!
[grunts]
ARTHUR: Katherine. Please.
No!
[bird wings flapping]
[blood spurting]
For your troubles, gentlemen.
[coins clank]
And your unerring silence.
And the bounty's yours.
Oh, you are a saint lady.
ROBERTS: Much obliged.
Some people say I'm too kind.
Gather his head, Roberts.
♪♪♪
[birds chirping]
What is it, Mother?
Stepmother.
I have some distressing news, my dear.
Your father's been caught stealing.
Stealing?
[scoffs] He would never.
I know. I didn't believe it to be true either.
-But the king's men. -The king's men?
Yes, it gets worse.
It was the king himself, he was stealing from.
Some precious Persian gems, apparently.
The king's men, they...
they executed him.
♪ [ominous]♪
[sighing]
[cries]
They wanted to take you too, as his only daughter.
They suspected that it was you he was stealing the jewels for.
Me--
then I must go and speak to the king.
[gasps]
[sighs]
Hush child.
I convinced them to leave you be,
on the condition that you stay with me.
I understand.
Don't you think it's better that you stay in my home
where I can keep a close eye on you?
Or would you rather I let those ruffians
take your virtue in the hay barn next to
your dearly departed father's severed head?
[cries]
I thought not.
Here.
Dry your eyes.
And I think it's only fair that you repay my generosity
by taking on some of the household chores.
We all must earn our keep, of course.
[cries]
In fact, it's been a long day.
I think we could all use some refreshment.
Perhaps you could prepare afternoon tea
for Josephine, Rachel, and myself?
[crying]
♪ [suspenseful music]♪
[birds chirping]
[ghostly whispers]
[birds chirping]
♪♪♪
[sniffing]
What you doing in Mother's room?
What does it look like?
Hm. Was that lip?
What, are you becoming a church bell, Cinderella?
No, Cinderella.
Put that down.
Please don't do that.
No, no. Please, please.
-I beg you. Cinderella. -Please put it down. Put it...
[gasps]
Oh no.
What have you done? How could you?
What on Earth?
See for yourself, mother.
Look what this ungrateful harpy has done.
I didn't... I didn't do anything, I swear.
What happened, Josephine?
Oh, I just came by, Mother, and saw this little sneak thief
digging her big conch into your drawers.
I wasn't stealing anything, I swear to you.
I'll think of an appropriate punishment for you later.
Uh!
[giggling]
[crickets chirping]
[door slamming]
[door creaking]
♪ [ominous music]♪
♪♪♪
♪ [high-pitched note]♪
[laughing]
JOSEPHINE: Mother decided this would be
an appropriate punishment for breaking her vase.
RACHEL: [laughing] Run, Cinderella. Run.
[laughing]
Come here, you little bitch.
[grunting]
Uh!
[crying]
Oh, look at you all in the mud.
Well, it's improved her smells.
[grunting]
You filthy little hedge creeper.
-[grunts] -[laughing]
Ooo... I have an idea.
Oh, you do, Rachel.
-[laughing] -[whimpering]
I'm going to improve your face, Cinderella.
Don't need your eye, do you?
What do you say, dear?
-Stop. -[grunts]
She will need both of her eyes to do all of her chores.
Enough of this nonsense.
I want you all to go back to the house.
Cinderella has much to do.
[grunts] [whimpering]
[spits]
[cries]
[birds chirping]
Ooh, the stench of lavender is strong in here.
[laughing]
Josephine, Rachel, I have news.
The prince is holding a ball.
Rumor has it he is seeking a wife.
What?!
[laughs]
“Dear members of your esteemed family,”
“you are cordially invited to the annual Winter Ball”
“of his majesty, the King, Wherein his son”
“and heir to the throne, King James,”
“will be in attendance.”
-Jamie! -[laughing]
Okay. Come here, sister. Whoop!
Okay. Are you ready?
Yeah. [sighs]
[grunting]
-Goodness. -[grunts]
Good Lord, Sister,
how on Earth does one keep these boulders held?
Just pull me in and snatch.
I'm trying.
Okay, ready, breathe in?
[gasps]
Actually, just stop breathing altogether.
[grunts]
Oh enough.
[grunts]
I want you on best behavior when we attend the ball.
Best behavior, do you hear that, sister?
Yes. [sighing]
Um, how about the purple one?
The purple one. The purple one, the purple one.
Found it. Okay, here.
Oh, ooh, uh. [sighs]
Oh, your big head's in the way.
Your sherry.
Mother?
Stepmother.
What is it?
Well, I was...
I was wondering whether you might permit me
to go to the Prince's ball?
[sighs]
It is late, Cinderella.
I really do not want to beat you.
But if you ask stupid questions,
then you should expect the proper response.
I hope you will appreciate the leniency I'm about to give you.
Be gone.
[ruler slapping]
[sighs]
[birds chirping]
Today's the day. Are you ready, Mother?
What do you think of this hat?
Mm...
No.
It'll do.
Oh, we shall go to the ball!
Well, let's leave.
I want some fizz left in my champagne.
Ooh, do you think there'll be cake?
Why are you always thinking about cake?
I like cake.
[sighs]
♪ [orchestra music]♪
♪♪♪
[party guests chatting]
♪♪♪
Mother, I need help.
From somebody, anybody?
Jesus, Moses, Mohammed.
Mother Mary. Anyone, please?
You see, my life is in tatters.
It's run by monsters.
A trio of harpies who revel in my misery.
I fear I have nowhere to run, and my family name's tarnished.
And all I wish is...
is to attend the Prince's ball.
If only to feel important for one night.
[sighing]
[cries]
[owl hooting]
[thumping on door]
♪ [chimes]♪
-Boo! -[gasping]
[laughs] Sorry. Couldn't resist.
Who are you?
Your fairy godmother at your service.
[laughing]
I must have hit my head. [laughing]
Or I'm still dreaming.
You're not dreaming, Cinderella.
You know my name?
I do.
I've heard your prayers before.
I've watched you.
And why are you here?
You wished for something, did you not?
To go to the ball.
If that is what you wished for, that is what you shall get.
But it's getting late.
I don't have an invite.
I don't even have a dress,
and I can't exactly go in tattered rags.
Bit defeatist.
You didn't notice the wand?
[wand whooshes]
Or me showing up in your room, as if by magic?
I'm all-powerful, Cinderella.
I can traverse the fabric of time.
You want a bear skin coat from the 12th Century?
I can get you one.
You want hammer pants from the 1990s?
I can get those too.
Hammer pants?
Never mind.
Well, I just need a dress.
I know just the person.
[wand wooshes]
Meet Tom Ford, one of the best designers of the 21st century.
What is it this time?
[wand wooshes]
Meet Vidal Sassoon,
the best hairstylist you can find to sort out this situation.
This better be fucking good.
This is Cinderella.
Oh, Cinderella.
Meet Christian Louboutin.
Again? [speaking French]
He will design the most incredible shoes
you've ever laid eyes on.
Christian, we need footwear immediately.
This girl needs to go to a ball.
Wow.
Can I just say it is an honor to meet you.
Tom will make you the most incredible dress of the ball.
You just wait and see.
This is a fucking tragedy.
I have the perfect design for you.
Glass with a red bottom.
That is an emergency.
[speaking French]
Yes. Yes. And turn.
Thank you.
You have the most wonderful figure.
Yes. Perfect.
But when I'm finished, you will look beautiful.
-Uh-huh. -[sighs]
[crickets chirping]
[sighing]
♪ [music swells]♪
[laughing]
You look beautiful.
Fit for a prince.
You don't think it's too much?
Oh, baby, Go big or go home.
How are we gonna get there?
Some carriage?
Close your eyes.
[wand wooshing]
Now open them.
[laughing] There's no horses.
It's electric.
Doesn't need horses.
Electric.
Who's driving?
Elon Musk, Of course.
Whenever you need a stylish mode of transportation,
that's good for the environment, he's your man.
Hi.
How do you like the carriage?
It's amazing.
[laughing]
Why are you doing this for me?
Don't waste time.
The magic isn't permanent.
You have until midnight to woo this Prince.
After that, you'll return exactly as you were.
Okay. I got it. Midnight.
All right. Run along. You're very late.
-Okay. -[laughs]
♪ [melodic orchestra]♪
[car door closing]
♪ [orchestra]♪
[horses neighing] [party guests chatting]
[blowing horn] Ladies and gentlemen,
His Highness, the Prince.
[shushing]
My Lords and ladies,
thank you so much for gracing me with your presence.
Regretfully, I must inform you all
that the king is still infirm.
[guests gasp]
I wish circumstances to be happier,
but it seems my father doesn't have long for this world.
[crowd sighs]
But you have all accepted me as a king in wait.
And for that, I'm grateful.
And I hope that you can trust me in maintaining the freedom
in this land that we love.
[crowd applauding]
And now enjoy the ball.
And I look forward to meeting you all, in turn.
Every last one of you.
Cheers to the prince.
[crowd applauds]
-Cheers. -MAN: Cheers.
♪ [orchestra plays waltz]♪
Oh. [laughs] Pardon me.
Ooh, cheese trays.
Oh, sorry.
Good lord, you're a common mutt.
Look at you, bleeding oinker.
[pig noises]
[party chatter]
Excuse me a moment, Lord Rathbone.
Of course.
You beastly little swines.
Will you stop embarrassing me?
If you look like you've put your faces in a food bag,
you will be put outside in a stoop.
-[laughing] -Stop.
♪ [waltz]♪
So you're gonna be King soon, right, though?
Well, hopefully not too soon. But...
[laughing] Oh, you're... you're so funny.
I am?
Yes.
And raucously, um, handsome. [giggles]
Well, thank you.
And you look...
very nice this evening. [clears throat]
Thank you.
So tell me, James, do you like your women forward?
Well, what do you mean by forward?
[party guests chattering]
Ah. Excuse me. I must speak with Lord Rathbone before he leaves.
♪♪♪
[sighs]
Uh, your Highness.
I wasn't expecting to get a moment with you this evening.
Yes. Well, you're better company than all the grasping
gold diggers my father keeps trying to set me up with.
[clears throat]
The king has requested that I introduce you to
Princess Sakura of Japan.
Her father is a great supporter of his majesty
over the past decade.
And, also, a personal aide to the Prince.
It's a pleasure to meet you, Princess.
The pleasure is all mine, Your Highness.
What a wonderful evening you have hosted.
I appreciate the kind words.
♪♪♪
Would you care to dance?
I would love to dance with such a sexy prince.
[clears throat]
♪♪♪
♪ [melodic orchestra]♪
[car pulling up on gravel]
♪♪♪
Where are the horses?
Um...
They bolted?
[car door clicking open]
♪♪♪
[sighing]
♪ [waltz]♪
[party guests chattering]
♪♪♪
[sighs]
It isn't.
It can't be.
It is.
It's Cinderella.
You. You.
-What on Earth? -Madame.
This woman is an imposter. She should not be here.
But the invitation...
You scoundrel!
This is no place for you.
Even under all that, you are still a servant.
[party guests chattering]
Young lady.
Is this true?
No.
Hogwash.
You're not a lady.
My invitation, footman.
Apologies, madam.
You may go ahead.
Thank you.
Nonsense.
This is preposterous!
-Put it.. -You put that down. Now.
-Where'd she get... [grunts] -Rachel.
-I'm calm. I'm calm.
♪ [waltz] ♪
We must thrash her severely for this.
No. Not here.
Wait.
The night is not over yet.
[party guests chattering]
♪ [violin]♪
♪♪♪
I was beginning to lose hope.
Not one person here had caught my eye.
Some of the ladies here are quite horrid.
[laughing]
But you...
you are bewitching.
You are dazzling.
Thank you. [giggling]
You are quite the charming Prince.
Permit me to see you again.
Perhaps I can come by your manor?
I don't think I can.
Perhaps I could visit you.
Anytime.
Would you permit me one last request?
Well, what is your last request?
A kiss.
Surely we cannot.
Not in public.
[laughing]
I only meant on your ladyship's hand.
Oh, of course.
My apologies, Your Highness.
I'm not used to being in such polite company.
♪♪♪
Hmm.
You have the most alluring smell of lavender.
[sighs]
Oh, God, is that the time?
I am sorry. I...
I really must go.
It's been lovely.
And... it's time for me to go.
Uh, surely you can stay a little longer?
Come on, just have...
just have one more dance.
I can't, I'm sorry.
Thank you. I promise I'll see you again.
Please, tell me your name.
I can't, I'm sorry. Goodbye.
Just stay a little longer.
♪♪♪
[sighing]
♪ [music swells]♪
[guests chattering]
Ah, thank you.
You two make sure you get back before Cinderella.
-But, Mother, the ball. -I don't care.
Make sure you get back and shut her out all night.
She must be taught a lesson.
[laughing]
Wait, please.
[owl hooting]
You must tell me who you are.
I really cannot.
I have never felt this way about anyone.
I've just met you.
And I feel like I've known you my whole life.
And I, you.
Tell me I'll see you again.
[bells ringing]
You'll see me again.
But for now, I have to leave.
Well, then, I shall wait.
[bells ringing]
[kissing]
[sighs]
You'll see me again.
[bells ringing]
[owl hooting ominously]
♪ [ominous hum]♪
[sighing]
[nocturnal bird sounds]
♪ [ominous]♪
[knocking on door]
Open the door.
-Oh, sister. [laughs] -Open the door!
-Hello! -Do you hear anything?
Let me in!
-No! -[laughing]
Let me in. Let me in!
Open the door!
-[laughing] -[sighs]
All ladylike now, aren't we, Cinderella?
You look like a drenched rat.
RACHEL:You don't smell like lavender anymore, do you?
Don't think the Prince would want you now.
So beautiful! [mocking kissing sounds]
JOSEPHINE: Just wait for the whipping
Mother has planned for you in the morning.
Ooh! [gasping and giggling]
JOSEPHINE: Bennet.
Ooh!
Yes, m'lady.
[laughing]
What are you two up to?
I was, uh...
I was just helping the Mistress clean out her carriage.
I wager you were, Bennet. [laughs]
Shut your filthy pie hole, Sister.
What is it that you want?
Bennet, you are to fetch the horse whip and take it
to the old barn at once.
Yes, m'lady.
Now.
[footsteps]
[giggling]
-[whimpering] -[grunts]
-[panting] -[laughing]
Well, do it.
[whimpering]
-[grunts] -Ah! [laughing]
One down. Nineteen more to go, wench!
[grunts]
-Oh, that was a big one. -[laughing]
-Ah! -Ah!
Ooh, a bit of blood.
Mother!
-[laughing] -Ah!
JOSEPHINE: Not around the Prince.
RACHEL: This one is for that ugly dress you wore.
-Ah! -Too much fun!
-[whimpering] -Again, again, again!
More, more, more!
[whimpering]
[whip sound] CINDERELLA: Ah!
[birds chirping]
It's the Prince's footman.
What could he want?
Oh, for goodness sake, girls.
Make yourselves look presentable.
Well, what about her?
The Prince's footman cannot see her.
If he recognizes her from the ball...
Tie her up.
Ah! [grunts]
[laughs]
Come in.
Please, sit.
Tea? Coffee?
Coffee?
Good Lord, no.
That's what they drink in the Americas.
Dreadful stuff.
Well, I'm rather partial.
I have a fascination with the Americas.
The chocolate is divine.
-[laughing] -Yeah.
Quite.
I shan't stay long, m'lady.
I'm here at the behest of the Prince.
I've been traveling to meet with a guest from his ball.
He's looking for a girl he took a particular shine to.
Oh. Well, you've come to the right place.
[giggling]
Very well.
We shall find out.
You see it is this.
♪ [gentle harp]♪
Oh, a glass slipper.
CINDERELLA: [muffled shouts]
[clears throat] Um, well, um, so, the slipper?
-Hm? -This lady who
so bewitched Prince James wore this modest slipper.
If I find the girl whose foot fits,
I find the Prince's wife to be.
I just need to find which estate this lady's from.
Oh, that would be me.
Nonsense.
The only shoe a mule like you should wear
needs to be nailed in.
Shut up. You've been pumped more times than the village well.
Ladies.
Look, one at a time.
Please.
Go ahead. Clown feet.
[sighs]
Madam, your foot's too big.
No, it's fine. Give it a chance.
Madam. Your foot's too big.
It's fine. It'll fit right in.
Sorry, she's...
Madame, your... your... your foot's too big.
No, it's actually fine. It's just swollen.
Madame, your foot's too big.
It's just swollen. It's been in heels all day.
-So give it a try. -Madam. Your foot's too big.
-It's fine. -Madam. Your foot's too big.
Let me do it myself!
Pardon, m'lady.
May I trouble the staff for a glass of water?
Oh, of course.
Would you show him to the kitchen
and get him what he needs?
-Uh! -Certainly, ma'am.
[grunting]
Your leg is going blue.
The circulation is cut off-- give it to me. It is my turn.
Uh! [sighing]
Idiot.
[laughs]
KATHERINE: This isn't going to work.
♪ [ominous]♪
Tight squeeze, it's fine.
It's never gonna fit your fat feet.
Did yours fit?
Uh, perfect Mother. [clearing throat]
Cut off your toe.
Once you're queen, you won't need to go on foot.
[clearing throat] Mother?
Go on. Quickly, before he returns.
Take it.
Go on.
No, Josephine, you don't..
♪♪♪
Quickly.
[grunts]
No, don't... Josephine, don't do it.
♪♪♪
[moaning]
♪♪♪
Ah!
[gasps]
♪♪♪
[whimpering]
Now the slipper.
[groans]
[whimpering]
Come on.
Click.
-[gasping] -Just get it in.
[grunting]
I think I'm gonna be sick.
What have you done?
Remove your foot at once.
[cries]
Disgraceful.
I'll be leaving now
CINDERELLA: [muffled] I'm in here!
I'm in here! I'm in here!
[sighs]
[grunts] I'm in here!
Help! Ah... ah! I'm in here!
[door clicking closed]
[whimpering] I'm in... Help!
♪♪♪
-[slaps loudly] -[grunts]
Learn this lesson well.
I am a lady.
You are a servant.
The Prince would never knowingly
marry a lowly wench such as yourself.
This is a rare Persian gem.
It was gifted to the King on the tenth anniversary
of his coronation.
It is now mine.
[necklace jangling]
I only keep you around
because you get my whites brighter
than any servant I've known.
The latrine carries a welcome lavender fragrance.
You've got servitude in your blood.
♪♪♪
But I tell you this --
The moment I tire of your antics
is the moment that I will hang you
in the same spot that your stupid father died.
[whimpering]
[crickets chirping]
[sighs]
Fairy Godmother...
If you can hear me, please come to me.
♪ [violin]♪
[magical bell sound]
Oh, can you stop doing that?
Apologies, darling. What can I do for you?
Then you don't know what's going on?
I'm omniscient, dear.
I know everything about my clients.
So, I'm just a client to you then.
No, no, no.
I mean, you're one of my favorites.
I fear that one day they're gonna be the death of me.
Then you should teach them a lesson.
You should punish them.
You want them to suffer, no?
I want them to suffer just as much as I have.
Then do it.
Oh, it'll feel so good.
Cinderella's revenge.
How sweet it will be.
How... how could I look at myself in the mirror?
How could I live with myself if I reap my vengeance on them?
Wear this, dear.
[ghostly whispers]
Not very fetching, I know,
but it'll hide your face.
Not only from your enemies, but from yourself too.
No, I can't.
You wooed a prince at a ball.
You can do anything.
Look over there, that fiend, Bennet.
He's whipped you. He's beaten you.
He'd take your virtue given half the chance.
You want revenge on that roustabout?
Yes.
Then take it.
-Take it now. -[sniffs]
This way.
What's the matter, sweetie?
If your face were any longer, they'd put a saddle
on your back and whip you.
Frankly, that wouldn't surprise me.
What is it, dear?
It's the prince.
He's out there. He's... he's looking for me.
He'll never find me because of those... harpies.
I told you, those three are pure evil.
You keep focused on your job.
Why do you push me so much?
Because I've seen it time and time again.
The bad guys win.
This time, you can make sure that doesn't happen.
Kill the three witches. Marry the Prince.
Have a bunch of babies, and buy stock in Apple.
Trust me.
What, apples?
Never mind.
Time to get to work.
♪ [ominous]♪
This mask will give you the strength and power to kill those
who wish you harm.
[sighs]
[ghostly whispers]
Do what you have to do.
[owls hooting]
[sighing]
[leaves rustling]
[sniffs] [grunts]
[grunts]
♪ [ominous]♪
[grunts]
[sniffs] [grunts]
[twig snapping]
[grunts]
[laughing] Cinderella. [sighs]
♪ [loud sting]♪
♪ [ominous]♪
[knife unsheathing]
Oh! [grunts]
-Ah! -Oh!
[grunting]
-Uh! -Ah!
♪♪♪
-[grunting] -Ah! [grunting]
-Ah! -Ah!
-Uh! -Oh!
[grunts]
[spits] Uh!
-Come here. -Ah!
-[grunts] -Ah!
Let's see that face. -[groaning]
-You?
-[grunts] -[panting]
[sniffing] You smell divine.
I'll have you right now.
-[grunts] -Come here.
-Uh! -Uh! Ah! Ah! Uh! Uh!
[arm snapping] Ah! [grunting]
-[grunts] -[grunts]
[choking]
[blood spilling onto ground]
[coughing]
[grunting] [choking]
-[ghostly whispers] -[sighing]
[owl hooting]
[sighs]
[gasps]
Your cake.
Rachel!
[laughs]
Can you pass the wine, also?
I need it after what I've endured.
Oh, thank you.
Little bit more.
Just... a little bit. Just a little bit more.
-Just a-- -No.
Oh, okay. [clears throat] Thank you.
Well, this is cause for celebration.
Cinderella's days are numbered.
-[squealing] Yes, they are.
[sniffs]
[sighs]
♪ [loud sting]♪
What are you doing?
There's somebody outside.
What you talking about? There's nobody there.
Someone just ran past the window.
There's nobody there.
Look, have some cake with me.
[cake hitting the floor]
Oh.
Well, you've ruined it, you oaf.
No, because...
[sighing]
No, it's okay.
Because, look, only the bottom is touching the floor.
So, we can eat it off the top.
We can. Come on.
Come on.
Fine.
It looks so lovely.
-I know, I made it. -[giggles]
♪♪♪
[chewing] [giggling]
KATHERINE: Girls!
Girls?
[licking spoon]
[footsteps walking off]
♪ [suspenseful]♪
[knife slides off table]
[light rain falling]
[distant thunder]
[loud thunder]
♪ [ominous]♪
[loud thunder]
[rain falling and thunder]
♪♪♪
[loud thunder]
[whooshing]
♪ [loud sting]♪
-Ah! [grunting] -[grunting]
[coughing]
[cries] Who are you?
What do you want?
Please don't hurt me.
Take... take my mother.
Take... take my sister.
Take Cinderella.
She's young.
She's... she's innocent.
Just please, please, please spare me.
Spare you?
You're just a warthog with lipstick.
Cinderella?
You're Cinderella!
[punching] [screaming]
[crunching bite]
[grunts]
[panting]
Uh! Ah! Ah!
-[grunting] -[screaming]
-Uh! -Ah!
[eyeballs squishing]
[screaming]
Uh! [gasping]
[knife slicing]
[blood sputtering]
[choking]
[crows cawing]
[sighs]
[sniffs] [sighs]
♪ [violin]♪
[ghostly whispers]
Rachel, where are you?
We're late for the groomers.
You're to be plucked and waxed.
[knocking on door]
Secure your baldness and hide your undercarriage.
I'm coming in, and I do not wish to go blind, sister.
Ah!
KATHERINE: What is it?
What is this scene?
-[gasping] -Silence!
[crying]
What on earth are you wailing about?
Well. What is it?
What is it?! I'm going insane, Mother.
It's staring right at you.
[screaming]
[birds chirping]
Rachel.
For goodness' sake, sister.
This prank isn't funny at all.
Rachel?
♪ [ominous]♪
Rachel?
♪ [music crescendos]♪
[screaming]
Thank you, Horace.
Mother!
I can't believe you're leaving.
I shan't be long.
It's about time we had a man about the house.
Surely, the police...
Are corrupt and incompetent.
If people hear that a house of women
can't look after themselves,
we'll be besieged by fiends and ruffians.
I'd like your virginity to stay intact
before you meet a suitor.
Purity is a gift.
My purity, [clears throat] of course.
I'll be back before nightfall.
Lock all the windows and doors.
Mother, please, please, just hurry back.
[sighs]
[ghostly whispers]
[sighs]
♪ [violin]♪
[sighs]
Fairy godmother,
if you can hear me, I'm in a bit of a quandary.
See, I have this darkness inside me
and I shouldn't be feeding it.
And that mask brings out the worst in me.
I can feel it watching.
Boo again.
-[mask hitting the floor] -[sighs]
You really are quite annoying, sometimes.
But fabulous, no?
I can't do this anymore.
Things have escalated.
Didn't expect you to kill two people.
I didn't mean to.
What is funny?
Oh, well, it's just that they sort of deserved it didn't they?
If you're gonna get revenge, you might as well go all out.
The price I pay for revenge outweighs the reward.
Can you not understand that?
That's not guilt you feel in the pit of your stomach.
It's impatience.
You want this over with so you can get on with your new life.
Best just to get them out of the house, like cockroaches.
♪ [suspenseful]♪
[panting]
[grunting]
[knocking on door]
Oh!
Katherine.
To what do I owe the pleasure?
You better sober up quickly, Hogan.
You smell like the inside of a whiskey barrel.
[sighs]
Thank you.
It wasn't a compliment.
[smacking butt]
[panting]
[door clicking open]
It's good to see you, Katherine.
[swigging from bottle]
Just tell me, what it is I can do for you
and your magnificent legs?
[sighs]
Your stepmother is seeking
the services of a ruthless mercenary named Hogan.
He's nefarious, unscrupulous,
and above all, good at what he does.
A mercenary.
She has a shady past.
You have to end this tonight.
Suspicion will soon point to you.
Josephine already suspects.
It's them or you, sweetie pie.
I can't.
I can't put that mask on again.
Why?
Because it excites you?
Yeah, because it feels so dirty to find it so exciting.
Then get excited.
I have a stash of batteries for just such feelings.
Pardon me?
Oh, never mind. Um...
Okay. I need to think about this.
So just... just leave me.
Hm.
[sniffs] [sighs]
Interesting.
How so?
Oh, the uh....
cuts are deep.
Given the, uh, size of the weapon,
and the depths of this cut across the neck here.
Murderer was strong.
I'd wager, a man.
Oh, for goodness sake, I could've told you that.
Women don't murder.
No.
Just hire a man to do it. [laughs]
Hold your tongue.
The only thing I'd like to do with my tongue,
is stick it deep inside you.
[grunting]
[zipper unzipping]
Well, Katherine, for old time's sake.
I could squeeze harder, you know.
Would you like to test my limits?
More than these could take, I'd bet.
[grunts] No doubt.
[panting]
-Do your job. -[grunts]
Earn your money, then leave.
[sighing]
♪ [ominous]♪
HOGAN: [clears throat]
♪ [music swells]♪
You are my last hope, Josephine.
Once the prince has forgotten
about the glass slipper, he'll be on the lookout.
I'm going to invest in you.
Etiquette classes for starters.
I mean, we need to work on your posture, your grace,
and most certainly your table manners.
What is wrong with my table manners?
Look, I have magnificent thighs and childbearing hips.
That should be enough for his Majesty, Mother.
We shall see.
Mother, are... are you upset about Rachel?
Of course.
It's just...
What? I'm not weeping and wailing like a commoner?
Foolishness.
Of course. [clears throat]
And what of this Hogan?
Well, he's certain that this is the work of a man.
Hm, I see.
Do you suspect Bennet, Mother?
What is it?
Well, I'm sure Bennett was sowing his wild oats with Rachel
Nonsense.
I caught them at it, Mother.
His maypole was virtually pointing skyward.
Oh, don't be so salacious, Josephine.
He was certain.
Yes. Perhaps he was jealous after the ball.
He was a fool. [laughs]
He thought she actually cared for him. [laughs]
[footsteps approaching]
You think it was this Bennet.
Get out of here, Hogan.
Can't you see my daughter's in her nightdress?
Oh, I can see that, all right.
She has your legs.
I'm paying you to find a murderer,
not to drag mud in my fine hallways.
[wiping feet]
As you wish.
M'lady.
Bennet.
I need you to track him down.
I'll track him down.
Don't you worry.
[birds chirping]
[sniffs]
♪ [ominous]♪
[owls hooting]
Anything to report?
I think I found your Bennet.
Really?
And what did he have to say for himself?
Not a lot.
I think you should see him for yourself.
Fine. I'll get my things.
♪ [suspenseful]♪
HOGAN: Not afraid of the dark, are you?
JOSEPHINE: Mother? Where are you going?
We just need to check something. I shan't be long.
You're leaving me alone? Again?
The doors and windows are bolted.
No one can get in without my key.
You can bolt the rear door when we leave.
[footsteps walking away]
It'll be cold.
So you can put an extra log on the fire if you wish.
But don't touch my chocolate truffles.
[owls hooting]
♪ [ominous]♪
-[magical ringing sound] -[sighs]
[ghostly whispers]
[crickets chirping]
[sighs]
[chewing]
[chains rattling]
♪ [ominous]♪
[creaking floorboards]
♪ [loud sting]♪
[grunting] Ah! [screams] Ah! [grunts]
[panting] Ah!
[panting]
[footsteps on stairs]
♪♪♪
[screaming] [whimpering]
Who are you?
What do you want from me?
[laughing] It's you.
I told them, you filthy little wench!
Oh, you need to beg me for forgiveness.
Beg me for mercy.
You think I'd let you kill me?
[laughs]
Let's see what we can uncork with this, bitch.
-[grunts] -[laughs]
-Uh! -[laughing]
[grunts]
♪♪♪
Ah! Ah! Ah!
You're soon going to be one dead whore for the crows to pick at.
[laughing]
[panting]
Ah!
[grunting] Uh!
[blood spurting]
[body thudding to the floor]
[crickets chirping]
Bennet?
Yes.
Guess he's no longer a suspect.
Well, who is?
I found no tracks going in or out of the grounds,
except carriage tracks from your own carriage.
Well, I suspect someone within the grounds has
committed these murders.
The other footman has left, but he hasn't got it in him.
I'll assume it's not Josephine.
Of course not.
[laughs]
Have you got any other theories?
[laughs]
None you'd entertain.
♪ [loud musical sting]♪
♪ [ominous music swells]♪
Lavender.
That bitch!
I'll kill her myself.
♪♪♪
[screams]
No! No!
I will kill her.
I will kill you, Cinderella!
Are you ready, Cinderella?
It's time to die.
[panting]
I will pay you double, Hogan.
You capture her.
But I will kill her.
I want that pleasure.
I'm going to fetch my gun.
[footsteps walking away]
So be it.
♪♪♪
Come on. I know you're in here.
Sneaky little...
[grunts]
[gunshot]
♪ [music swells]♪
Hogan!
♪♪♪
[grunts]
[body thudding to the floor]
[sighs] Inconceivable.
Where did you get this?
Your mask.
[sighs]
I wore this the day I killed your father.
[coughing] You.
Under orders from Katherine, of course.
She framed him, planted that necklace on him.
Oh, and here you were, all that time,
living under her roof, and you never knew.
[groans]
Such a pity.
You're quite the ripe little peach.
But untamed.
What witchcraft is this?
My Fairy Godmother knows how to dress a lady for the occasion.
[grunting]
-[grunts] -Ah!
This is for my father, you bastard.
[screaming]
[panting]
Hogan!
Hogan?
[panting]
Ah!
Cinderella!
I'm gonna catch you Cinderella.
[grunting]
[ghostly whispers]
KATHERINE: Cinderella!
KATHERINE: [panting]
Surely not.
Not the jewels.
No.
No, not those!
CINDERELLA: Looking for something?
-Ah! -[gunshot]
-Missed me. -[grunts]
[grunting]
-[grunting] -[panting]
You murdering little white tail.
I gave you a home.
And you stole this home from my father!
I know what you did.
You're a murderer!
-[grunts] -Ah!
I wanted to tell you every day since I had that fool killed.
I only wish I'd seen the look on your face when you found out.
[screams] [grunting]
-[panting] -[panting]
I'm gonna look at your face when you die,
you heartless mare.
Watch your tongue, whore.
Or I'll cut it out and pin it on your forehead!
-Ah! -[gun clicks]
[laughs] It's as empty as your head, you stupid wench.
-Ah! -[grunts]
You think jewels are worth dying for?
-Well, I hope you choke on them. -[grunts]
[choking]
[coughing]
You've brought this on yourself.
Your cruelty, your greed, made this happen.
-[grunts] -[grunts]
[grunts] Stupid little girl.
I'll not show you the same mercy.
[grunting]
-[panting] -Ah!
[panting]
[screaming]
♪ [suspenseful music swells]♪
[bird screeches]
Cinderella.
I'm going to bust your brains in!
-Ah! -Uh!
[panting]
Ah!
Uh! [grunting]
My legs!
My beautiful legs!
Ah! No!
You wouldn't do that to your Mother.
Stepmother.
Ah!
[panting]
Ah! [screaming]
[pounding on flesh] [grunting]
[panting]
[birds chirping]
♪ [gentle instrumental] ♪
[sighs]
[birds chirping]
♪♪♪
[panting]
[knocking on door] [door clicking open]
Cinderella.
Are you okay?
[sighs]
Oh God.
Oh God. You're okay.
How did I get here?
What do you mean?
You've been locked in your room for days.
And where is everyone?
I'm... I'm afraid...
I'm afraid they're dead.
Yes.
Quite gruesome, actually.
I...I arrived to find a police inspector here.
The police inspector?
Yes. They arrived this morning.
Someone must have heard gunfire and reported it.
[sighs]
[clears throat] The maid is here, Inspector.
Hello, young lady.
Do you know this gentleman?
No.
This is Hogan Savage, a known criminal and brute for hire.
It appears he may have targeted this place.
Your stepmother was very affluent.
Oh, what's this?
Not in the best shape.
And there we have it.
The rare Persian gem stolen many years ago from the King.
♪ [gentle orchestra]♪
[birds chirping]
May I?
Please.
♪ [upbeat orchestra]♪
[laughing]
[bells ringing]
I pronounce you man and wife.
You may kiss the bride.
♪ [triumphant orchestra]♪
[kissing]
Uh!
[grunts]
Did you just slap a prince?
Did you like it?
I've never been slapped before.
Well, there's a first time for everything.
[grunts]
And a second.
[sighs]
♪ [uptempo orchestra]♪
[moans]
♪♪♪
[crowd cheering]
Three cheers for the King and Queen.
-Hip, hip! -CROWD: Hooray!
[crowd cheering]
♪ [triumphant orchestra]♪
[explosion]
♪ [tense instrumental] ♪
♪♪♪
♪ [light instrumental] ♪
♪♪♪