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[uplifting music]
*
[uplifting music continues]
*
Pride and Prejudice, huh?
Have you read it before?
-Many times.
-Ah, you're a romantic.
-That's interesting.
You see I'm reading Austen and you assume I'm a romantic?
Why?
-Jane Austen writes romance novels.
-Can I ask if you've ever read any of her books?
-Pretty sure I saw a movie.
-Right.
Heaving bosoms and declarations of passion?
-And men in wet shirts.
-All very pleasant,
but it doesn't make Austen a romance author.
A comic genius, a social realist,
a prose assassin taking down the powerful and fatuous
with a well-aimed dagger of a sentence...
Anything but a romance author.
-You're a teacher, aren't you?
-Professor. Austen's my speciality.
-You can specialize in Jane Austen?
-You can have a whole conference on it!
That's why I'm on this plane.
-Jane Austen League of America Annual Conference and Ball?
-I'm the keynote speaker.
-Wow! You must go every year.
-Once, when I was 15.
-But let's not relive that. -[clears throat]
-The JALA people can be a little... romantic.
They have balls, and dancing, and...
some of them even dress up.
Not really my thing.
-Then why accept the gig?
-Victoria Jennings.
She's on the Princeton hiring committee,
and I'm up for the job.
Plus, my little sister lives in town.
-So, should I come hear the big speech?
-Definitely!
But you should do some prep work first.
-Hmm...
[airplane chimes]
ELOISE: Oh, um...
I wanted to give you this before I go,
if you don't mind.
-A reading list?
-Enjoy!
Oh, and I need this back.
Excuse me.
[indistinct chatter]
[cellphone buzzing]
Hello?
-Hey, big sister! Where are you?
-Just deplaned. Did Rob propose yet?
-No! But it's soon!
He visited his mom last weekend.
Perfect time to get the ring.
I can't wait to see what he has planned!
-He is a planner.
-[squeals happily]
-And sweet and handsome, and absolutely the best guy
you've ever dated!
-I agree!
And now to spend my time finding youa husband.
-Don't do that.
-You leave me no choice.
You're guy-blind.
You ignore everyone who isn't fictional.
-That's not true. [quietly] Hi!
I just never meet anyone who's interested in me.
MIA: What about this weekend?
It's a whole group of people who love literature.
You could meet your own personal Mr. Darcy.
-Ugh!
- Spot him across a crowded ballroom...
He's in a top hat...
You're in your Elizabeth Bennett costume from 10th grade.
-Professor Jennings is one of
America's foremost scholars. I'm not here to flirt.
I'm here to give an amazing keynote
and show her that I take Austen seriously.
-Ugh.
-Even if I wanted to, which I do not,
it's very unlikely I would meet any man at a conference
that is 75% women, let alone personal Mr. Dar--
-Eloise?
-I gotta go. Someone's here for me.
[intriguing music]
-Eloise Cavendish?
-Yes?
-I'm your guest-of-honour liaison.
-Oh, that isn't necessary.
-I'm here to take you over to the, uh, venue,
and to make sure that you have everything that you need.
-And the outfit and...
the accent?
-Oh, I'm the official Mr. Darcy of the conference.
The accent is real.
ONLOOKER: Mr. Darcy!
-Miss Cavendish, your carriage awaits!
ELOISE: Oh, please don't bow again.
Look, I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude, but...
a lot of people are staring.
[crowd murmuring, cameras clicking]
ELOISE: I really don't need any of this.
-You don't need a ride?
-I have rideshare. Thanks!
-Uh, wait, Miss Cavendish!
-It's not Miss. -Uh, Madame?
-Technically, it's Doctor.
Look, I'm sorry, I just-- I don't need anything!
Goodbye.
[text notification pings]
[plane flying overhead]
MR. DARCY: [clears throat]
Dr. Cavendish?
-Uh...
please just call me Eloise.
-No, I'm sorry, I didn't introduce myself properly.
I'm Sam Lee.
You having a little trouble with rideshare?
-Yeah.
-The conference location is a little remote,
which is why JALA, in its infinite wisdom,
opted to provide you with a guest-of-honour liaison.
It was, uh, my own smart idea to come dressed like this.
-Honestly, you look great.
It's just that I don't like--
-Fun? -Dress-up.
It's fine for people who enjoy it,
but I don't like being a spectacle.
[women giggling, cameras clicking]
-Well, then we should probably get out of here, then.
-Please.
[cameras clicking]
SAM: So, tonight you have the Speaker's Reception.
There's a dance lesson,
and a chocolate tasting.
-[laughs]
-What's so funny?
-Mr. Darcy in a compact?
-Well, they're very reliable cars.
*
SAM: This is the Duchess Square Resort and Gardens.
It's where we will be spending the weekend.
Horrible?
-I think I can tolerate it.
-Ah, good. Well, let me walk you in.
-Oh, that won't be necessary. I'd rather go in on my own.
-Okay. Well, as you wish.
Uh, but you need anything, then I'm--
-I'll let you know!
*
[indistinct chatter]
WOMAN: Thank you very much. Enjoy the conference.
ELOISE: Hello. Uh, Cavendish, please.
-[gasps] Dr. Cavendish, our keynote speaker!
Here is your goodie bag.
-Oh!
-Did you meet up with your liaison?
-Mr. Lee?
-Isn't he something?
-Mmm!
[cellphone buzzing]
Oh, I'm getting a call.
Mia?
-I can't! -Mia!
-I can't-- Take it!
ELOISE: Rob, what's going on?
-Hi, Eloise.
-Are you okay? Why is Mia crying?
-Oh, you should probably ask her,
'cause I don't understand her and I never will.
-Rob... -[sighs]
She forgot this.
Have a nice weekend.
-Rob!
[tires squealing]
[Mia crying]
-Mia? -Is he gone?
-Oh...
He asked me to give you these.
Do you want to talk in my hotel room?
People are staring.
-What do they care?
-Well, a pretty woman in tears is always a subject of interest.
-[groans]
-I take it you are not engaged...?
-We broke up.
-[sighs] Mia, why? What did you do?
-What did Ido?! Why do you always think it's me?
-Sorry! You thought he was gonna propose!
-Well, I can't talk about it right now.
I just can't go home.
-Do you wanna... stay with me?
-You've got your speech. You have to network.
-Mia, whatever this is,
I'm not letting you face it on your own.
-Thank you!
I promise I won't be any trouble.
I'll just lie in bed watching cable,
sobbing into Room Service,
mourning the destruction of my life.
You won't even see me!
-Do you want some water?
-Uh-uh.
-A hot bath?
-[muffled] No.
-Ice cream?
-[muffled] Mm-hm...
JENNY: Professor!
Professor Cavendish?
Professor Cavendish!
-Jenny! What are you doing here?
-Remember how in your class I wrote a play
instead of a final paper?
-Vividly! -Guess what?
The Complete Works of Jane Austen, Abridged,
is about to become a reality.
I'm producing it at the conference!
-Thisconference?
-The JALA people were really into my PowerPoint presentation.
I told them how much you inspired me.
-That's wonderful, but the play was completely your idea.
-You know what you tell us in class:
women have to go above and beyond...
BOTH: ...to get what they want.
-This play is my beyond.
You'll come see it, won't you?
I'm gonna be casting it with members of the conference
and we're gonna be rehearsing it all weekend--
like in Mansfield Park.
Of course, that didn't work out well for them,
so that scene is cut from the third act.
Also, the JALA people didn't like that it was
more than an hour, so it's just 40 minutes.
And then I decided to cut Sense and Sensibility
because your note was just absolutely influential
in the making of this play.
Oh, and then I did a major rewrite to fit in Lady Susan.
I'll be directing, and I'll be playing the role of Jane Austen!
-[chuckles]
-You're... gonna come, right?
I mean, you don't have to,
but I'd, like, die if you don't.
SAM: [clears throat]
Oh, excuse me, Miss.
-Wow.
-Um, Mr. Lee, this is my student, Jenny.
-I'm sorry, but I need to speak to Professor Cavendish
on some very important guest-of-honour business.
-Right.
Uh, if you'll excuse us, Jenny, I'll see you at your theatrical.
-Okay!
Bye!
Goodbye! [laughs]
-What is it? -Oh, nothing.
I just... thought you needed rescuing.
[chuckles]
Uh, you gave me a pleading look.
-Oh. [laughs]
That wasn't a pleading look.
My eyes rested on you for a second
and then I immediately looked away.
-Yes.
Well, anyway, there's a special lesson
to learn all the country dances for the ball--
-Oh, thank you, but no, I don't dance.
-You don't dance?
Well, that can't be true.
If you don't dance, then you're not a dancer,
and if you're not a dancer, then how do I reserve
your first dance?
Adorable, aren't they?
They're handing them out at registration because--
-Please stop.
-Stop what?
-Mr. Lee, there will be no first dance or second dance,
or any other number.
I will not be dancing, dressing up,
or pretending to be a teenage heroine husband-hunting
in a dead century.
I'm a scholar, not some Fitzwilliam Darcy fangirl.
-Fangirl?
-I'm not one of these women who hang off your every word
just because you're wearing breeches and a hat.
You like attention, Mr. Lee.
There's nothing wrong with that,
but you won't be getting any of it from me.
-Hmm!
You know, you can be a scholar and still have a little fun.
-[under her breath] Dr. Victoria Jennings?
-Hmm?
-Excuse me!
I need to network.
Enjoy the rest of the conference!
ELOISE: So many choices!
-Oh! [chuckles]
If you'd like a recommendation, I am a bit of an expert.
-Oh! [laughs] Well, I'm a complete beginner,
so I'll take any tea tips you have.
-Oh! -I'm Eloise Cavendish.
-Oh, hello! Victoria Jennings, pleasure.
Oh! Is that my edition?
-Yes! -Oh, please join me!
VICTORIA: My personal favourite is the Rose Congou.
It's a bit of an acquired taste,
so we'll start you in on the Lady Grey.
[chuckles]
Two minutes!
Eloise, I'm so glad I ran into you.
I am looking forward to your keynote.
-It's quite an honour. I just hope I do it justice.
-Well, these events can be challenging.
Not your traditional academic conference.
The attendees can be so, uh...
passionate.
-I've noticed! All the costumes, the balls--
it's like Comic-Con for Jane Austen fans.
[both laugh]
-Yes, I know!
-[laughs] -Isn't it marvellous?
-[laughs nervously] Mmm!
-I look forward to it every year.
I spend all my time studying Austen,
and then I finally get a chance to live it!
-Uh-huh! Yeah, of course!
-I mean, you've got to be able to enjoy yourself, don't you?
I mean, otherwise, how can you instill that joy,
that love of literature to your students?
-That's...
such a good point. -Mmm!
I know some scholars who look down on JALA as something,
oh, I don't know, unserious.
As if you have to take Austen seriously
in order to understand her.
Snobs. Dismal, boring snobs!
[both laugh]
-Oh, Samuel!
Samuel, come over here and meet my new friend.
-Oh, you don't have to. He's clearly busy.
-Samuel!
Uh, Professor Cavendish, I'd like to introduce-- muah!
My nephew.
He plays Mr. Darcy at the conference.
-Oh, we've met.
-Uh, Sam was kind enough to get me from the airport.
He's my guest-of-honour liaison.
He's been... great.
-Well of course, the official JALA Mr. Darcy
shouldn't be anything less than a perfect gentleman!
[quietly] Works in start-ups.
Single.
Um, we were just saying how much fun the ball will be.
-Oh! Really?
-Mm-hm!
Oh, Samuel, she's a delightful woman.
Not one of those stuffed-shirt academics who doesn't know
how to cut loose and party like it's 1810.
[both laugh]
-Speaking of which,
you didn't invite her to the special dance lesson.
She's missing it.
-He did. I told him that I--
-Already know all the dances.
-VICTORIA: Really? -SAMUEL: Oh, yes!
Dr. Cavendish is a huge fan of English country dancing.
Oh, apparently, she belongs to an association back home.
-No, I don't-- -SAM: Oh, don't be modest!
No, she knows them all!
The Arlington Assembly, the Ashford Anniversary,
even Mr. Beveridge's After Dinner Maggot!
-Oh! Which is your favourite?
-The After Dinner Maggot...?
-Oh, I knew it!
Oh, Samuel, I hope you reserved a dance!
SAM: Oh, the very first one.
Now, has Eloise told you about the outfit that she has planned?
-No! -Uh, Mr. Lee?
Can I steal you for a moment?
Just, I have a few guest-of-honour questions.
VICTORIA: Oh, but of course!
Take a turn about the room!
[all laugh]
-[quietly] Please, you've made your point.
-Really?
Or perhaps I was just asking for attention.
-Mr. Lee, I am so sorry for what I said!
I can be controlling when I feel...
stressed.
- Istressed you?
-No. Not you. The whole conference.
Look, I'm on the edge
of something I've worked for my entire life.
My sister's up in my hotel room crying with her heart broken.
I took it out on you.
It was no way to treat someone who's been nothing but kind.
You won't tell your aunt, will you?
-You're up for that new professorship at Princeton,
aren't you?
-So, if there's anything I can do to make it up to you...
-Then you'll do it as long as I keep my mouth shut?
-Yes. -Hmm.
Alright.
Actually, I'll do you one better.
I'll help you get the job.
Now, my aunt may seem easygoing, but she is not
when it comes to the Princeton English Department,
and she is definitely not
when it comes to a Jane Austen scholar.
But I've had a lifetime to learn what she likes
and what she doesn't, so...
I can advise you.
-Why would you do that for me?
-Oh, I'm not doing it for you.
Look...
That is Crispin Crane.
Actor turned academic.
He played Mr. Willoughby for British television in 1986.
He's been hovering around my aunt like a fruit fly
on a banana. [sighs]
My aunt practically blushed when she told me
that she was interviewing him at the conference.
He's flirting his way into the job.
-You want me to block him?
-Yes.
My aunt has suffered enough heartbreak.
I don't want her to get hurt by some warmed-up
Willoughby wannabe cad.
So, do we have a deal?
-What exactly am I agreeing to?
-Well, there's the dancing.
You missed the special dance lesson,
so you've a lot of catching up to do.
And the outfit.
-The outfit?!
-Kelsey can probably help us with that.
Oh, and I need a partner for the Lawn Games tournament.
My aunt respects a killer instinct.
But beyond that, just agree with her on all matters of taste
and, well, be the fantastic scholar that JALA says you are.
-Deal.
No bowing!
-Oh, now, that--
you see, that is the sort of stuffed-shirt attitude
that you're gonna have to work on.
Text me your room number
and I'll pick you up at 9:00 am sharp.
Oh, aren't you adorable!
-Miss Scott!
What a surprise.
[door opens]
ELIZABETH: [on TV] Mr. Darcy, I don't understand.
What are you doing here?
DONOVAN: [on TV] You act as if I invaded your territory!
-Elly-bell? What happened? Are you okay?
-I'm fine. Just academic job search stuff.
I got a lot to do tomorrow.
-Wait, should I go? -No!
-Because I can go.
-No, I'm not kicking you out in the middle of the night.
-A romcom?
Is now really the time?
-Nothing else was on except that wedding dress show.
Do you have my ice cream?
-Uh...
Praline and Prejudice or Mansfield Chunk?
-What's Mansfield Chunk?
-Basically Rocky Road but with coffee.
-Yeah!
Oh, yeah.
ELIZABETH: [TV] What does that mean, exactly?
DONOVAN: [TV] Nothing.
-What's wrong with men?
Why didn't Rob propose?
-It's not that he didn't propose.
-He proposed?! -In the kitchen!
Over takeout coffee like it was an afterthought.
He didn't even kneel!
He just handed me the mocha and said,
"So, there's something I wanna talk to you about."
-Oh...
-And then he went right into talking about finances
and house down payments and timelines!
I'm surprised he didn't have a PowerPoint about
why it was [deep voice] "A good decision!"
-Well, isn't it a good decision?
I mean, you two just...
work together.
-But there was nothing about love in that proposal!
No passion, no romance.
And I just thought, "This is gonna be the rest of my life."
This is the most important moment of our love story
and all he gave me was a mocha from the kiosk
in the grocery store!
He could have at least grabbed roses!
They're right there!
-Did you tell him how you feel?
-He doesn't think it's valid.
-Well, I can talk to him for you.
Just... I think you have a communication issue.
-There's no fixing this, Eloise.
I'm a romantic!
And he's an accountant.
All this time, he supposedly loved me
and he was just putting up with my nonsense.
-Did he say that?
-I don't wanna be put up with, Eloise.
I wanna be loved!
-Aw...
I love you, Mimi.
-[whimpers]
-And I put up with your nonsense.
But for what it's worth, I do think Rob loves you too.
-Love is about putting yourself out there,
risking it all.
Rob isn't willing to risk anything!
[muffled sobbing]
[knock on the door]
MIA: Huh?
-It's just the housekeeper. Go back to sleep.
-[quietly] Shh. My sister is still sleeping.
Oh my gosh. You're wearing it again.
-Actually, this is my hunting suit.
-You're really trying to embarrass me
as much as possible, aren't you?
-Oh, it's not all about you.
After all, I am the conference Mr. Darcy.
I have a responsibility to look this good.
-Hmm.
-Shall we? -We shall!
[indistinct chatter]
*
-Is that a first edition Cowper? -Uh, focus, Eloise.
I want you to meet someone.
Kelsey?
-Oh...! -Ah. You have a client.
This is Eloise Cavendish, my guest of honour.
Eloise, this is Kelsey Shelton, genius costumier.
ELOISE: Hi.
-You have excellent posture.
SAMUEL: Hmm!
-Hmm. Thank you.
-Kelsey and I have been friends since high school,
ever since we were in tech crew together
for Much Ado About Nothing.
-He was chasing a girl playing Hero,
knew nothing about theatre, and kept breaking things.
-You weren't in the cast?
-In high school I was, you know, quiet and--
-Huge nerd.
But it paid off for this Craftsy thing.
-Craftsy?
-It's that website for independent craftspeople
who sell handmade goods.
-Uh, yeah, I know it.
My sister loves it.
You sold stuff on Craftsy?
-No, I built the start-up company
that provides billing and compliance software services
for independent artisans who...
sell things on Craftsy.
-And then Craftsy bought it-- you're welcome.
I was his inspiration.
Interstate tax compliance
was really cutting into my sewing time.
Arms up, please. -Uh, I don't know if I, um...
Don't most people just wear an evening gown?
SAM: But we don't want to be most people.
No, you want to stand out.
-So, Sam was telling me that this is a rush job,
but I have a couple of half-finished pieces
I can adapt.
White batiste with...
pink accents!
Did you bring your period- appropriate undergarments?
-Okay, no, I can't do this.
I-I can't wear a costume.
You're not gonna tell on me for not wearing
a period-appropriate undergarment, are you?
-Well, when you put it like that...
Kelsey, change of plan.
Rush job's off.
-KELSEY: What? -SAM: I tell you what.
You can wear an evening gown if you wear these.
-Completely inaccurate.
There's no period fabrics at all.
They're $30...
-Bargain!
ELOISE: Pleasure doing business with you.
-You would have looked so authentic!
ELOISE: I'm sorry, Kelsey.
SAM: Thank you for trying.
-Okay, I need coffee and food in that order.
-Okay, well, the, uh, buffet's open till 10:30.
I'll take you.
-Oh-- uh, oh, you don't have to do that.
-Uh, yes I do.
My aunt eats late.
-Right!
-Ah! See, what did I tell you?
Uh-- Ow, what?
-[quietly] There's Crane!
-Oh, look at him primping into his baked beans.
Distract him.
-Me?! -Yes, delay him
as long as you can, and meet me in the craft hall.
-The craft hall? -Mm-hm.
-Uh, Dr. Crane? Crispin Crane?
-Uh, yes.
-From the 1986 British television production
of Sense and Sensibility?
-Yes, in fact.
And you are...?
-Eloise Cavendish.
I'm actually giving the keynote speech.
-How impressive.
I was just going-- -I'm a big fan.
-Really?
I would have thought you were a bit young
for that particular version.
It's been so outshone by subsequent,
you know, adaptations.
-Oh, well, a classic can never be outshone!
-Thank you.
I abandoned that life long ago, but it's nice to be remembered.
If you don't mind...
-Uh, can-- can I ask--
There's, um, um... there's a talk later today on Wickham,
on whether he can really be considered a villain.
As someone who played one of Austen's villains
in a major television production--
-Oh, hardly major, my dear.
-Well, still, wouldn't you say that, um,
playing Willoughby gave you an unusual insight
into his character?
-Of course, but it's not always useful.
-Oh, really?
-I retain a certain partiality towards the character
that makes it very hard for me, to this day,
to see him as a villain. -Oh!
-As I was just saying to my friend, Victoria...
Victoria?
Ah, would you please...?
Uh...
Um...
-Ahh!
-That is stunning.
You really have an eye.
-Look, Samuel. Professor Cavendish is here.
-Oh, fantastic. I need a model.
-Oh, no.
-Did you get rid of Crane?
-Mm-hm. -Chin up.
You really have the bone structure for bonnets.
Why don't you make one with my aunt?
-Oh, I-I'm not very crafty.
VICTORIA: Oh, it's just gluing to taste.
You can change it if you like.
*
-[clears throat]
"I do not think it is very pretty,
"but I shall pull it to pieces as soon as I get home
"and see if I can make it up any better!"
-Lydia Bennet!
I think that's one of the most telling passages in the novel.
It shows us how Lydia views men.
-As interchangeable?
-Exactly.
One bonnet is just as good as another
if you pretty it up with a nice piece of satin.
-And one man is just as good as the next
if he's wearing the right uniform.
-Mm-hm! -Uh, excuse me!
-Oh, Samuel, not you, dear.
You're unique and perfect all the way through.
-Oh, I don't know. For most people around here,
I'm just a pair of breeches and a hat.
[all laugh]
ELOISE: I don't know what I'm gonna do with this thing,
but am I crazy to think that that went well?
-Are you kidding? -[laughs]
-No, you nailed it.
I mean, you busted out that Lydia Bennet quote.
I mean, anyone can quote Elizabeth, but Lydia?
-I have to admit, I thought that crafts project
would be silly, but that was a fascinating conversation.
Hey, I'm sorry for what I said earlier.
-What do you mean?
-The whole thing about you being
just a pair of breeches and a hat.
If I made you feel in any way...
-Uh, no.
That was a joke.
Uh, I don't know if you've noticed,
but I make a lot of those.
-Is that a defence mechanism?
-The hat or the jokes?
Yeah, we are not psychoanalyzing me,
we are here to get you that job.
-I thought I nailed it!
-Uh, professor? It is only Thursday.
We have a long weekend ahead of us,
and you still don't know how to dance.
Ah-ah-ah, don't make that face!
You told my aunt that you know all the dances.
-I didn't, you did!
-Let's not throw blame around.
We have work to do.
-I have an idea-- I'll break my ankle.
-Oh, no, good idea.
Break it while learning to dance.
-Uh, this part of the hotel doesn't look open to guests.
-Are you always such a rule-follower?
Huh, well, I guess that's a great way
to avoid being noticed.
-Now you're psychoanalyzing me?
[door closes]
Where are we going? -Somewhere private.
You'd get embarrassed otherwise.
-That's surprisingly considerate.
-Plus, we can't risk revealing your dark secret.
-That I can't dance?
-That you're no fun.
-Now, it's just a little bit closed for renovations,
but that means that no one will wander in.
-Unless they're willing to ignore all the signs.
SAM: What can I say?
I like exploring.
I found this place yesterday, and I thought to myself,
"There must be some earthly use for it."
-It's lovely.
And I'm sure any pretty, young Jane Austen fan
you brought here would be swept off her feet.
-So, first things first.
The After Dinner Maggot.
[instrumental music playing]
-Come on. Come, come, come, come, come!
The men on this side, women on that side.
Although we never have enough men,
so you'll probably have to learn both sides.
Right, we split and return.
May I? And, here we go!
And... [counting steps quietly]
'Round the other dancers.
-What dancers? -Uh, the imaginary dancers.
That's it, and...
And right, left, right, and right.
And left, right, left, and left, and left.
Left, uh...
You're the left.
Okay.
Now, you allemande on the fourth corner on the second count
and it's the second corner on the third.
But remember that we have to end up where we started
so that we can switch again. -What?!
[music continues]
SAM: [with music] Dah... dah...
[music continues]
SAM: [with music] Dah, dah, dah!
Good! Much better!
Now, you made it through the whole figure
without making any mistakes.
Now you may venture a witty remark.
-I can't. My brain's processing power
is tied up in my feet. -Well, ignore your feet.
You're looking at your feet so much
that I'm starting to get jealous.
Look at me.
Remember, I like attention.
-You're so annoying.
-You are so...
graceful.
[music stops]
See?
It wasn't that bad, was it?
Now, the next step is to do it all again,
but without counting under your breath
and without stomping around like you're wearing moon boots.
-[music starts again] -Now, just relax.
Shoulders back, eyes up, and remember:
you are graceful, you are elegant,
you are the most beautiful girl in the ballroom!
You must-- -Stop.
This isn't gonna work.
It's fine here by myself, but out there in front of everyone?
I-I can't do this.
-[music stops] -Sorry if I went too fast,
if I, um--
-No, it's not you. It's just...
I don't dance!
I don't like being the centre of attention.
-But aren't you about to give a speech
in front of a room full of people?
-That's being an academic. That's what I'm used to.
I'm used to being the girl off to the side in the corner
reading a book, not the girl on the dance floor.
That's Mia.
My sister.
-The one in your hotel room.
-She's very comfortable being the centre of attention
and sometimes will create situations
where that can happen.
Everyone has a role in their family.
I'm the smart one, the practical one.
Mia's pretty and reckless and charming, and...
unlike me, a great dancer.
-What's the worst that can happen?
-I'll mess up!
I'll look like a fool!
I'll look like a woman pretending to be...
-Pretending to be what?
-A heroine in a romance novel, alright?
I'll look like an unmarried woman in her thirties
pretending to be Elizabeth Bennet
looking for Mr. Darcy.
[sighs]
I did pretend to be Elizabeth Bennet once
for a homecoming dance when I was 15.
I bought the dress from here.
Well, not here, actually; another JALA conference.
-You went to a JALA conference when you were 15?
-My parents liked to encourage my interests.
It's kind of a curse.
But it was a train ride away
and it was Pride and Prejudice themed,
and I...
I just loved the book so much.
It was the first book I read that I really loved,
and everyone there loved it too.
And they treated me like I was...
sophisticated and interesting
and like a real-life Austen ingénue.
[both chuckle]
Anyway, I got carried away and I bought this dress.
-And you wore it to homecoming?
-I thought that if Cody Anderson could see me
across the dance floor, he'd realize
how sophisticated and interesting I was.
-Ah! And what happened?
-He saw me across the dance floor
and, uh, he laughed.
And then everyone saw me and they all laughed,
and then I ran and hid in the library.
Janitor let me in; nice man.
-Oh.
Well, Cody Anderson's an idiot.
Ah, I bet there was a boy at that dance
who wondered where you went all night.
A huge nerd who was into computers
and classic literature.
-[chuckles]
-Hey, it's not as if I was
tearing up the dance floor at 15.
Look, I know that it's embarrassing
to wear this outfit.
You know what the most embarrassing part is?
-No.
-I like it.
[both laugh]
-Come on.
SAM: For the first few years, it was like a favour to my aunt.
But the truth is that I don't get to be the romantic hero
in my normal life.
No, my normal life is dealing with start-up bros
and enduring their jokes.
But everywhere I go as Mr. Darcy,
I make women happy.
-Must be fun. -No, it is.
Until my aunt points out all the single women
at the conference who clearly only like me for my frock coat.
That's why it's so nice to meet someone who sees beyond
the hat and the breeches and...
doesn't like me at all.
-Was that another defence mechanism?
-You mean a joke?
-Well I hate to disappoint you, but...
you're growing on me.
-Huh.
Well, maybe there is something to be said
for the confidence-boosting effects of a costume.
Here, put this on.
-Why?
-Well, you may have learned the steps,
but now I need you to get into the spirit of the thing.
I need you to dance like everyone is watching,
and I need you to wear this hat.
-Oh, good lord...
-[music starts again] -Okay, and five, six,
seven, eight...
Repeat after me:
"I am beautiful."
-What?! -Come on, say it!
I... am... beautiful!
-No! [laughs] -I am beautiful!
-I am-- oh my gosh.
I am beautiful!
-Yes!
I am worthy.
-I am also worthy.
-Ah, no editorializing!
No jokes. Mean it!
Look at me. -Look at me!
VICTORIA: Samuel!
Professor Cavendish!
What on Earth are you doing out here?
I've been looking everywhere for you!
There's been a disaster.
Annabelle has bit the refreshments
for the Lawn Games. -What?
-I don't know what kind of caterer she engaged,
but they claim it is for next weekend--
and they will not budge!
Someone needs to make a picnic for tomorrow
that won't draw shame onto the head of JALA!
-Oh, why can't the hotel handle it?
-Oh, no, they're overbooked and very unhelpful.
So, Samuel, I was hoping you could drive into town
and see if you could find something suitably authentic--
-I can help.
-You can?
-I taught a seminar in Regency cuisine.
My students were thoroughly engaged.
[laughs]
-That sounds suspiciously like fun.
VICTORIA: Oh, well, come along, then.
No time to waste.
ELOISE: Okay, yeah. Thank you. Bye.
-Any luck?
-For an order this big, it's not luck we need,
it's a miracle. -Ah.
Well, maybe we need to think beyond catering.
-Well, an authentic Regency nuncheon would be...
cold meats, salad, and fruit.
What Kitty and Lydia buy their sisters at the inn.
Cold meat and salad... for how many?
SAM: A hundred and twenty.
-That's gonna present a significant...
um...
difficulty.
-I have an idea.
-[doorbell chimes] -ELOISE: Thank you.
-Welcome to Supro Subs.
We serve sandwiches in a snap.
How may we delight you today?
-Your giant party sub, does that serve 20?
-Mm-hm. -And can you deliver
to the middle of the Duchess Square Golf Course?
-We're happy to delight you
anywhere within a five-mile radius.
-Great, well, I'll take 10 for 12:30 tomorrow.
Oh, and can you make them carb-free?
-[laughs] Ten...
submarine party subs...
with no bread?
-And the toppings on the side.
-We'll also take 60 of your fruit medley cups.
-Oh-kay...!
Uh, and would you like to add chips,
or ultimate chocolate peanut butter brownies,
or rainbow sprinkle cookies to your order?
-Yeah... -Hmm, not very authentic.
-Inauthentic won't impress my aunt.
-If I had a kitchen, there's this recipe I make
every Christmas, but...
-Well, there's a perfectly good kitchen at the hotel.
-Well, we can't use that-- -Come on.
We'll go to the market on the way.
Thank you!
-Oh, I just don't think that we can.
The hotel has all these regulations
and the managers are so picky.
-We won't take up too much time,
and they hold cooking classes here, so--
-Oh, those are planned with instructors and notice.
There's no time to arrange some last-minute-- Sam?
-Hi, Annabelle. I'm here for the cooking class.
-Wait, cooking class?
-I'm an expert in Georgian and Regency cuisines.
I was hoping to demonstrate syllabubs and Shrewsbury cakes.
-Mmm!
If only someone could help us with the hotel management.
-You know that we're not supposed...
[sighs]
I'll distract them. Go.
ELOISE: I'm gonna do the dry ingredients.
A cup of sugar...
[uplifting music]
*
Just that much.
-Wow!
ELOISE: Zest it up.
SAM: Whisky business!
-You've got to roll this.
-Okay... -Just like that.
-Mm-hm.
-And then...
Okay!
[uplifting music continues]
ELOISE: Press down...
so that...
*
Oh, there we go. See?
Ha!
*
-ELOISE: And.... -SAM: Nice.
ELOISE: That...
-Wow.
SAM: Nice.
*
ELOISE: So, we just chill these overnight,
and we are done!
[laughs] Am I hallucinating?
-You looked hungry.
-Mmm!
I can't remember the last time a man cooked for me.
Where'd you learn to do this?
-The library. -[scoffs]
-No, seriously!
It has cookbooks.
My auntie did so much for me growing up,
and she didn't have much time when she was getting her tenure,
that, well, cooking was a way of helping her out.
-You two were close?
-Still are.
So, after my parents divorced, my mum was really struggling,
so we moved here to the States and my auntie took us in.
She didn't have much money or much room, but...
but she made it work.
Without her, we wouldn't have made it through.
-That's why you're so protective.
-Well, that's what happens when you grow up
in a household with two single women!
-Too many Wickhams in the world, not enough Darcys.
-Exactly!
-I'll dry.
[water turns on]
I don't think I could live with my sister.
-Hah!
Well, my mum did get her own place
as soon as I got out of college,
but she still lives in Princeton.
In fact, I'm actually trying to, uh, set up my incubator there.
I spend way too much time on the train from New York.
-Incubator?
-Yes, it's a non-profit to help people set up
a socially responsible start-up.
-Hmm!
A do-gooder tech guy.
-Interesting. -Hmm!
Well, after I sold my company,
I didn't really need to make any more money.
And, well, I just--
I wanted to do something to give back.
-So you'd move there?
-Yeah, I'm thinking about buying a house there.
I just need to get more people excited about the non-profit.
-I think you will.
[heartwarming music]
ELOISE: I don't know, it's her decision,
but Rob's the best guy she's dated by miles.
Like, miles and country miles.
I'm talking unsuccessful bands, wannabe influencers,
and some guy who said he was gonna get rich
by daytrading something called cyrocurrency?
-Oh, it's a type of a cryptocurrency.
-Well, it certainly isn't a job.
There's just been a lot of...
-A lot of Wickhams?
-[laughs] -Hmm?
-You know, Rob drove her here after they broke up
so she wouldn't be alone.
That's love. -Huh.
-Is a fancy proposal that big a deal?
-I don't know. Is it to you?
-I'd prefer something substantive.
Something that would show that he really
cared about what was important to me.
-Well, a fancy proposal is important to me.
-I didn't give you permission to be right.
-Eloise! -Mia!
-I was just getting some...
ice.
You've made a friend!
-This is Sam, my guest-of-honour liaison.
-I also play Mr. Darcy at the conference.
-Yes, I see.
They give you your own personal Mr. Darcy.
-Okay, let's go back inside!
-Oh-- what? My ice!
-It's been a long day. Bye, Sam!
MIA: [fake English accent] Later, Sam!
Hope to see you at the ball!
[door closes]
SAM: [muffled] Bye!
-Who was that?
-I told you! My guest-of-honour liaison.
We had...
some problems to solve.
-Solving problems with a handsome man...
with an accent!
-Well, the accent's real. He moved here from...
Why are there flowers in here?
-I sent them to myself!
Because I suffered a great heartbreak
and mindless spending helps.
It's rude of you to remind me when I was so well-distracted
with Mr. Darcy.
-First of all, Sam's personality is nothing like Darcy's.
-Okay, so...
what is he like?
-Actually, the exact opposite.
He's funny and open and makes a lot of jokes,
but...
he's kind.
-Do you like him?
-Absolutely not!
-Okay, but I haven't heard you say that many nice things
about a non-fictional man in years.
-I like him as a person.
We're not very compatible.
I don't think I could ever be serious
about a man who enjoys wearing a Mr. Darcy costume.
-Your loss.
He seems like the kind of guy
who'd make a fool of himself...
for love.
You've been spending a lot of time
with Professor Cavendish?
-I'm her liaison.
She's a very interesting woman.
-Hmm!
May I offer a word of advice, Samuel?
-Really? Just the one?
-Oh, don't make a joke of it like you always do!
If you like this young woman, be honest about what you want.
You don't want to wake up at my age realizing
you've deflected every chance of happiness with a joke.
It's one of the greatest dangers in life--
missed opportunities.
-Hmm.
There are dangers in being honest.
-Like what?
-Heartbreak.
-You see?
That was honest.
*
[cellphone buzzing]
-Rob, you have every reason to be upset.
I'm upset.
But if only you could see how much she's hurting.
-She's... hurting?
-Rob, she's devastated!
-That's surprising, 'cause she said
that I make her miserable.
-You don't. You make her happy.
Not the crazy highs and lows that she used to chase,
but actually happy the majority of the time I talk to her.
That hasn't happened before.
I can't let you throw that away.
-It was a perfectly good proposal.
I bought her her favourite drink
and I asked if she was interested...
in marriage!
Now, what's wrong with that?
-You might have bought her some roses.
-Okay, so, what, I gotta make a fool out of myself
with some big romantic gesture
before I even know if she wants to get married,
let alone to me?
We didn't even talk about it yet.
-See, this is what you should tell her!
If you could just come to the hotel,
you two could communicate and actually figure this out.
No big gestures, just a conversation.
Uh-- um, I have to go,
but please just think about what I said, okay?
SAM: Hi.
-You're out of uniform.
-I thought, since things are going so well,
that I could take you on a field trip.
-Oh, please, my ego can't take any more crafting or dancing.
-Don't worry. This should be something
that you're very good at.
-What am I good at?
*
-What do you think?
-Sam, it's wonderful.
[gasps]
"The day has come on which I am to flirt my last
"with Tom Lefroy, and when you receive this
"it will be over.
"My tears flow as I write, at the melancholy idea."
Can you believe how many people are convinced
that Tom Lefroy was Austen's lost true love
on the basis of these two short letters?
It's absurd.
-What's absurd about it?
-Well, she's joking. She's obviously joking.
"My tears flow as I write this"? Come on.
-Oh, just because someone's joking doesn't mean
they're not feeling.
-Good point.
Still... I wish people would just admit
that she was a fantastic writer
without needing some romantic backstory that started it all.
-"Was he the Wickham that jilted her
"or the Darcy that got away?"
-Maybe he was the Collins that annoyed her.
ELOISE: She did turn down a proposal once.
Not from Lefroy, but another guy.
She went to bed; in the morning, changed her mind.
-That's strange.
You think his proposal lacked romance?
-No, I think she said yes for practical reasons
and then no because she'd just be doing it to be married.
And that wasn't enough.
I mean, could any of the men she'd met have possibly known
who she really was, the same way her readers do?
-Men can read.
-[laughs]
-With a little help.
SAM: So, is that what you're looking for?
Someone who really knows who you are?
-Well, it certainly isn't a big romantic proposal.
I don't--
-Like being the centre of attention.
I know.
But if you can't get through the proposal,
then how are you gonna get through the wedding?
-Oh, no, my literal nightmare!
Why do we make women do that?
Stand up there in front of everyone
in a big, ridiculous dress? -Well, the man is there too.
-It's such an ordeal.
Why can't I just skip to the good part?
-Ooh, the good part?
-You know what I mean. -[chuckles]
-Have you ever turned down a proposal?
-Yes.
I get at least one per JALA conference.
-Right...
Breeches and a hat.
-Yeah. Doesn't count, though.
-[chuckles]
Well, you look pretty good in a jacket too.
-[feigned gasp] Miss Eloise!
-It's Doctor!
-Oh, okay, Doctor! -[laughs]
[someone clears throat]
-Oh...
-I feel like an undergraduate.
-I know; I should probably get you out of here
before you expose yourself to public censure
on account of your behaviour.
-[laughs]
*
-What? -Nothing.
It's just...
I'm having fun.
-Ah!
-Are you gonna be unbearably smug about it?
-Definitely.
[golf club hits ball]
MAN: Fore!
-Oh, I'm sorry, we've reserved this--
MAN: Hey!
Monopoly Man!
SAM: Hi, Tanner.
-Yeah, I remember you!
Hey, guys, it's Sam!
Yeah, the guy that washed up at VC Pitch Blast in November.
Hey, sorry you didn't get funding
for that no-profit thing.
-Yeah, non-profit.
-Yeah, maybe you should have worn your top hat.
So, uh... what's all this?
-This? Oh, this is the, uh,
Jane Austen League of America conference,
and we have reserved this area of the golf course
for period-appropriate lawn games.
GOLF BRO: Tanner!
Just pick up your ball. Let's go.
This is the driving range.
-Yeah. Uh...
Wow!
Sam Lee, blast from the past.
Hey, did you know we were
in the Stanford Start-up Incubator together?
First one of us to sell.
Settled for that $50 mill exit,
but people thought you'd do big things.
What happenedto you, man?
Eh, I guess the future's not for everybody!
Ah...
So, where's your costume?
-At the cleaners.
-[laughs]
Are all you Jane Austen fangirls this funny?
-Finish your round and join us for bowling.
You can judge for yourself.
-Uh, yeah, okay. Uh, maybe.
Good seeing you, Sam.
Nice to meet you.
And good luck with, uh...
this.
SAM: Hm.
-What was that all about?
Were you hiding from them?
-Uh, no. No, no, no.
It's just, you know, I don't like to, uh,
mix my JALA life with my professional life.
-[laughs]
-Thanks for stepping in, though. I appreciate that.
-I owed it to you after everything I put you through.
-You? No, no, you're-- you're...
you're an angel!
-Is that the word you wanted to use?
-"Challenge." -[both laugh]
-You're a challenge.
I like challenges.
-Maybe I could start to like attention.
MIA: Elly!
Elly-bell!
Stop everything!
No more fun.
No more fun without me!
-Oh, look, Elly-bell, your sister's here!
-I'm done. Done...
...with the ice cream and the cable and the crying.
I'm ready for distractions.
Also, Elly, I hope you don't mind,
I borrowed your bonnet.
-Where'd you get that?
-Hmm? Oh, I got it at this old market thing in the hotel.
Didn't want to commit with the whole dress,
but I wanted to get in the spirit of the thing,
and out of the spirit of the other thing.
You know... being dumped.
-Well, you are just in time for Lawn Game.
-Oh... yeah!
I play games! -Good!
You can be my partner.
Go sign up at the table. I'll be right over.
ELOISE: Oh, I-I thought we were gonna...
we were gonna do that.
-Oh, no, no, it-- it's much better this way.
You can partner up with my aunt.
-Oh, that makes perfect sense!
So much sense...
[phone buzzing]
VICTORIA: You can do it! Deep breaths!
CRISPIN: Victoria?
-Oh, Crispin. Where have you been?
-Looking for you, mostly.
I was hoping it's not too late to engage you as my partner
for the tournament?
-Oh, I'd be delighted,
but I'm afraid Professor Cavendish and I
are well into our first round of lawn bowling.
[Mia giggling]
[giggling]
-No, uh, turning back now.
-Mia!
-Oh, my turn again already?
Hold this, please.
[giggling]
*
MIA: Tee-hee!
[clears throat]
[suspenseful music]
-Ahh! -Oh, well done!
-Eeh! -We are in the lead.
-Oh! [giggles]
We can do better than that.
Okay, look, if we do this...
-Your sister has quite the killer instinct.
-I'm just glad she's having a good time.
She just broke up with her boyfriend.
-Oh!
-I'll pass you my parasol. One and two.
Ooh, we should incorporate a bow and a curtsey
in here somewhere.
-Really?
-MIA: And then I'll-- -ROB: Mia!
-Rob?
What are you doing here?
-What am I... doing? What are you doing here?
-Victorian lawn games.
-Regency.
-Regency lawn games.
-Yeah, looks like an absolute blast.
Who's your friend here?
-That's none of your business!
-Sam.
I'm Sam Lee.
-I wasn't actually speaking to you...
sir.
What, are you on a date with this, uh,
romance novel cover model reject?
-So what if I am?
Rob, we broke up.
-Less than two days ago I asked you to marry me.
Actually, you should know this.
I asked her to marry me two days ago.
-Uh, I'm just here for the Lawn Games.
MIA: Youdumped me!
ROB: Because I asked you to marry me.
You said the question was "depressing."
-Not because of you, Rob!
Because of the way that you asked it!
ROB: Well, what did you want?
You want me to make a fool out of myself
in front of everybody to prove how much I love you?
MIA: It would be nice.
-Rob, maybe we can go back to my hotel room to talk about this.
ROB: No, Eloise, I don't need any more of your help!
I came because you said Mia was devastated,
and she doesn't look very devastated.
-You told him what?
-Well, I just wanted to help you two communicate.
-Well, we're communicating now, Eloise, are you happy?
And for the record, Rob, I was devastated.
I completely, completely love you!
But you don't like me,
because something that is as important to me
as a romantic wedding proposal is just like a big joke to you.
-Look, I-I don't want it to end this way, alright?
I don't want it to end because of some stu--
[sighs] What can I do, alright?
What's it gonna take?
-A lot more than this.
-Fine.
I'm-- I'm leaving.
And I'm taking these...
perfectly good flowers.
-Mia? -Eloise.
I appreciate the thought but this has nothing to do with you.
-Uh...
Well, I think it's high time for pall-mall.
I'll get the clubs!
-I'll help.
-[sighs]
Eloise, I'm sorry.
Look, I honestly only wanted to cheer her up.
I had no idea her ex would be here.
And I certainly didn't think that he would interpret--
-There's no need to apologize.
It has nothing to do with me.
-I'm sure your sister didn't mean--
-My sister was right.
I've been sticking my nose in where it's not wanted.
And I have enough to worry about this weekend with the keynote
and everything else.
Let's exert ourselves!
Let's have fun!
JENNY: Professor Cavendish!
ELOISE: Jenny?
-I need your help! This show is about to be ruined.
-Ruined? -Two of our actors dropped out.
-The play is tomorrow, right?
-It's tonight! -Oh.
-We've got four hours.
I just need two actors to play Darcy and Elizabeth,
and I was thinking, maybe,
since your friend already has the costume...
-I'd be happy to help.
In fact, I think I can get you some tech crew.
-And then, for Elizabeth,
I was thinking maybe someone who's...
a really good public speaker.
Someone who knows the novels
and kind of sparkles with vivacity and charisma.
-Well, I'm not sure if I-- I don't know if I could, um--
-I'll do it!
Mia Cavendish, former star of every high school
and one and a half college musicals.
-Uh, you are...
the right size for the costume.
Ha, you are cast!
-Oh! -You are all cast.
Except you, Professor Cavendish.
-Oh, well, I can help out with the set.
That's where I really shine in the theatre...
Off-stage.
-This'll be just like high school!
-And then come back around here...
And... bow!
Lift up the quill.
Everyone, hands up towards the quill.
KELSEY: Hey.
You are...
terrible at sewing.
-I'm so glad you're here.
I'm never gonna get through this.
-Give it...
Sam texted me for help with a play.
Just like in high school.
ELOISE: Guess I'll paint.
KELSEY: Who's that that Sam's talking to?
-My sister.
-Oh...
-She's comfortable in the spotlight...
like Sam.
-[laughs]
Are you kidding?
Sam's the shyest man I've ever known.
When we first met, he could hardly speak in front of a girl.
-You're kidding.
He's been bowing and kissing hands all weekend.
-No, no, no, that's the thing...
It's 'cause he's wearing a costume.
Girl, watch your brush!
-Mm, sorry.
-It started in high school when he stepped in
for Benedict in that Much Ado.
Sam was a weird nerd.
Like, he liked computers better than people.
But once you gave him a script
and put a little outfit on him...?
Bam! [snaps finger]
He was the leading man.
-So it's all a front?
-No.
Some people just do better with a script.
That's why he dated so many drama queens.
-Men like drama.
-Hmph! I guess.
-I come bearing pizza!
CROWD: Yay!
VICTORIA: You look pensive, Cavendish.
Why aren't you sitting with your young people over there?
ELOISE: I just wanted some space to think about tomorrow.
Of course, my presentation is all prepared and rehearsed,
but still... I like to go above and beyond.
-Oh, women always have to to get what they want.
-That's what I tell my students.
-Well, I hope it's easier for them than it was for me.
[sighs] I had to make a lot of difficult choices.
There are many things I might have wanted in an ideal world
that just weren't compatible with an academic career
at the time.
-I'm sorry.
-Oh, no, I like to look forward.
And it's my dearest hope for you, Professor Cavendish,
in whom I see so very much of myself,
that you get every single thing that you want.
The career, the acclaim.
Perhaps some fun on the weekends...
-[chuckles] -And a partner.
Why not?
That is, if you care to have one.
-I care to.
Uh, he just has to be the right one.
-Mm-hm!
Isn't that the truth.
A world full of Wickhams and Collinses.
If you stumble upon a Darcy,
grab him.
It's what Jane would have wanted.
-[chuckles]
-And I know it's silly to think of a dead writer
as a friend or someone who would wish you well, but...
I think she would have wished us all a Darcy.
[Mia giggling]
-But what if you're not an Elizabeth...?
-Hmm?
-Nothing, um...
I should head back up to my room.
Um, they don't need me here, and I could use the mental space
to prep for tomorrow.
I'll see you at the play?
-Yes, of course.
[indistinct chatter]
KELSEY: The set looks...
better.
I think it has an excellent chance
of making it through the show.
-Really? -It's only 40 minutes long.
-[laughs]
[applause]
-It is a truth universally acknowledged
that a writer of genius
must be in want of a topic to inspire her pen!
MIA: Come away from that desk!
There is a ball in Steventon tonight!
-I care not for balls!
[instrumental music playing]
I must dance with my quill tonight!
I see her before me...
Elizabeth Bennet!
[applause]
-Not handsome enough to tempt me.
[laughter and booing]
SAM: In vain, I have struggled.
This will not do.
You must allow me to tell you how ardently I love
and admire you!
[applause]
[triumphant, romantic music]
*
[applause]
AUDIENCE: Woo!
[cheering and applause]
[applause]
[cheering and applause]
-The key for me was bringing Austen's text to life
through movement.
The quill floating in the air was an inspiration
and just put the whole piece into perspective.
-Elly! Where have you been? Was I any good?
I know he was fabulous!
I'm starting to understand this whole Mr. Darcy obsession.
-Oh, Dr. Cavendish, what a performance!
You really must be an inspirational teacher.
And here... here is the star of the show!
-Oh!
-I believe I saw you at the Lawn Games tournament,
but I don't believe we were properly introduced.
-Oh, this is my sister, Mia.
Mia, this is Professor Jennings.
-Oh!
-TheProfessor Jennings from Princeton?
-Well, I suppose there must be others!
-Oh, my sister's told me all about you!
-Really? Well, I hope all good things!
-Well, I hope you're gonna hire her.
-Mia!
-She's the smartest person I've ever met.
She knows everything about literature.
She's an awesome teacher, and she lives for Austen.
-Mia, I don't--
-Eloise, stop selling yourself short.
My sister would be an incredible professor at Princeton.
No one takes Austen more seriously than her.
Everyone at this conference is here to have fun.
I mean, I love fake balls and funny hats, but not Eloise.
She thinks this is all ridiculous.
She's here to be a scholar, not some Austen fangirl.
-Interesting. I would have never guessed,
considering how enthusiastically
you participated in all of the events.
For some reason, I--
I thought you held a different opinion entirely.
I don't know why.
-Professor Jennings, I--
-For the record,
I believe a serious scholar can still on occasion
wear a funny hat.
Uh, what that scholar wears on their head has no power
to diminish what she has inside it.
[chuckles uncomfortably]
Well, I, uh...
I better get back to the party.
Again, Mia, congratulations.
Professor Cavendish.
Bye.
-MIA: Did I just-- -Mia...
Do you ever think before you speak?
You just ruined my chance at the Princeton job!
-I didn't mean to!
I was just trying to tell her how good you'd be.
-I had everything under control until you blew in here
like a force of nature!
My hotel room, my chance with Professor Jennings,
my peace of mind, gone!
-I'm sorry, I-- -I'm sorry too, Mia.
I'm sorry that I tried to stop you
from making the biggest mistake of your life,
because you are unstoppable.
And the more I try to put your life in order,
the more you ruin mine!
-It's not your job to put my life in order.
-Then why do you turn to me the second anything goes wrong?
I have to be the big sister, I have to be the strong one.
I can never just-- -Eloise!
-Please just leave me alone.
SAM: Eloise?
Hey, um...
You alright?
-Just tired.
Thought I'd sneak up to my room
while everyone was congratulating my sister.
-Hm. -Why wouldn't I be alright?
-I saw you with Mia.
And I just...
wondered if you were disappointed about the play.
You know, 'cause, um, Jenny had asked you first, and...
well, in the garden, you said that Mia has a tendency--
-Why would I want to be in the play?
-Well... I mean, it was...
Well, it was really good fun.
-I'm sure you had a great time, but believe me,
there's nothing I would like less than being up on that stage
in front of everyone, kissing you.
-Oh.
-I don't know how many times I have to say this.
I'm not like you.
I'm not like Mia.
I don't like being the centre of attention.
I'm not trying to set myself
at the centre of some romantic fantasy
for everyone to gawk at.
I just want to be left alone,
and for some reason that hasn't happened since I got here.
-You don't have to dance with me.
Tomorrow, at the ball, really.
You don't have to.
Well, my aunt Victoria does love the ball, but, well,
she already likes you a lot,
and, uh, I promise that I won't tell her what I said.
I should-- I should never have held that over you.
See, honestly...
The truth is that you hurt my feelings, and...
I had to make a joke of it and devote the past few days
to pulling your pigtails and...
well, making you do things that you disliked.
I would like to, um...
officially relieve you of any and all obligations
that you have towards me,
and whatever happens...
your secret's safe. -Sam--
-I don't want to dance with someone
who doesn't want to dance with me.
-[elevator dings] -Uh--
[door slides open]
SAM: Saved by the bell.
I guess this is goodnight.
-Yeah.
I guess so.
[door slides shut]
[melancholy music]
*
[crying]
*
[keypad clicking]
[door opens]
MIA: Eloise?
I know you're awake.
I heard you stop breathing when I came in.
I want to talk to you.
Or at you. At you is fine too.
I'm so sorry.
Tomorrow might be one of the biggest days of your life.
You always support me,
and the one time you need my support...
I've been a terrible sister,
and everything that happened today is my fault.
-No, it's not.
There was this whole thing with Professor Jennings
that I didn't tell you about.
-Because I didn't let you.
I just emoted all over your hotel room,
and I didn't leave space for anything else.
I could have noticed the strain you were under
and actually tried to help.
I could have done what you would have done in my place.
-Mia, I like helping you.
-And you hate being helped?
Because too bad, sister.
From now on, there's got to be a little give and take.
-Why didn't Rob just buy the stupid flowers?
-I don't know.
What's done is done, we said what we said,
and now I have to deal with it.
-Can you?
-I don't know.
But...
I have hope.
There are Darcys in the world after all.
[poignant music]
-Mia?
[hopeful music]
*
MIA (V.O.): "Hey, big sis.
"I'd wish you luck today, but you don't need it.
"What I thought youcould use
"is a little alone time to prepare.
"You've got caffeine, you've got carbs,
"and you've got this.
"Love, Mimi."
ELOISE: "I would like to thank
"the Jane Austen League of America
"for inviting me here today to speak to you
"about the inimitable Jane Austen,
"novelist, satirist..."
[voice overlapping] ...see what Darcy sees in Elizabeth.
We can deduce then, that for Austen,
the property not only becomes
an indication of social standing,
but ultimately symbolic of the characters themselves,
leading us back to the exquisite detail captured
the moment Elizabeth Bennet first saw Pemberley.
Thank you.
[applause]
MIA: Woo!
[applause continues]
JENNY: Hi, you were so good!
-Thank you. -JENNY: Thank you so much.
I'll see you at the ball.
MIA: Elly!
You were fantastic!
ELOISE: Got your note.
It's the sweetest thing anyone's ever written me.
I appreciated it almost as much as the latte.
[both giggle]
-Professor...
Mia.
I wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed your talk.
I was a little short yesterday.
Mostly out of surprise.
But I've been thinking, and I wanted to reassure you
that I admired your behaviour during this conference
before our conversation yesterday, and I admire it now.
-You do? -Yes, of course.
Your quick wit, your willingness to help, your positive attitude.
All the more impressive given your initial doubts.
-It's true.
I wasn't on board with any of this at first, but...
I've changed my mind.
-And the ability to do so is the greatest talent
a scholar can have.
As for your wish to make a good impression, well,
when we're colleagues,
you'll learn that I am the last person in the world
to think ill of a woman for her ambition.
-Did you say "when"?
-Shh-shh-shh!
Not a word until it's official.
-Am I hallucinating, or did you just get hired at Princeton?
-I think I just got hired at Princeton.
-Ooh!
Now we can go celebrate at the ball!
-Uh...
I need to do something first.
-Okay.
-Kelsey?
I made a huge mistake.
I know it's probably too late, but--
-It's never too late.
-It isn't? For what?
-To dress up for the ball.
I had to finish the white batiste anyway,
and I already have your measurements, so...
-What? -Come with me.
[chamber music playing]
-Professor Jennings?
Have you seen Sam?
-Dr. Cavendish!
You look lovely!
-Thank you.
-Mr. Darcy always arrives late.
Just like in the book.
-Victoria. It's time to start the ball.
-Oh...
Well, I think our keynote speaker should do the honours.
What say you, Professor?
-It would be an honour.
Thank you.
-You're welcome.
[chamber music continues]
[indistinct chatter]
-Excuse me, everyone?
If I could have your attention for a moment.
[crowd murmuring]
[footsteps of people entering]
-Rob?
-Mia Cavendish...
[Mia gasps]
[crowd murmuring and gasping]
-Oh!
ROB: Mia, you are the wildest,
most maddening woman that I know,
but you are also the kindest
and the most lovable.
If you want a big, romantic gesture;
if you want me to make a fool out of myself
in front of everybody, I will do that,
because I want to spend the rest of my life
making sure that you get everything you want.
So...
[crowd gasps]
-[laughs in disbelief]
-Will you... -[screams]
[ring clinks to floor]
[applause and cheering]
[both laugh]
-Is that a yes? Do I need to ask you again?
-Yes, yes, yes, yes!
[applause continues]
-This is not at all period-appropriate.
[Mia crying happily]
I can't help it... [giggling]
-I think you might be needing this.
-Ooh! -And congratulations.
-Oh! [giggles]
Eeh!
I can't apologize to you or Rob enough.
This is all thanks to you, and Sam, of course.
-Sam?
-Yeah!
Didn't you know?
He spent all today talking with Rob and getting him ready.
Where did you think Rob got the outfit?
-Well, it's just, yesterday you were talking to Sam constantly,
and I-- -Yeah, about Rob.
Eloise, you didn't think--
-Let's not rehash what I thought.
I'm just so happy for you.
-Mmm! I'm happy for me too!
We're getting married! [giggles]
[tapping on glass]
-And now we actually will hear from our keynote speaker,
Dr. Eloise Cavendish,
who will commence the dancing.
[applause]
-Thank you. I, um...
Sorry.
I'm so sorry, it's just...
my sister just got engaged.
[applause]
-But I do want to say one thing
before we officially begin the evening.
I have loved these novels
and these characters since I was 13.
Back when Pride and Prejudice was the most romantic book
I had ever read.
Since then, I have learned so much more about Austen,
her world and the compromises she had to make.
And it's still the most romantic book I have ever read.
And that scares me.
I'm scared of emotion.
Scared of being swept away.
And I'm even scared of dancing.
Scared of looking like a fool,
and that's what can happen on the dance floor, right?
Missing a step and making a fool of yourself.
But if there's one thing I learned this weekend,
one thing I've learned from reading and re-reading
these books that we all love so much...
it's that fools and heroines are not separate categories.
You have to risk being one in order to become the other.
So, as we proceed to the dance floor,
there's someone here with a place on my dance card.
If he wants it.
[scattered applause]
[hopeful music]
-Eloise...
CRISPIN: Professor Cavendish!
I understand congratulations are in order.
Victoria told me about Princeton.
Couldn't be more deserved.
-That's very kind of you.
I heard you were up for the same job.
-Me? [scoffs] Whatever gave you that idea?
I'm wildly under-qualified.
-But my aunt told me that you were interviewing with her
at the conference.
-I can't imagine why she'd say that.
Unless she didn't want you to know the real reason
we're spending so much time together.
-The real reason?
-I'm retiring, Mr. Lee.
It's high time I think about more important things
than career.
-More important things like...
Aunt Victoria?
-We were post-doctorate sweethearts.
Can you believe it?
But I'd already been bitten by the acting bug,
so I left academia, and her.
I was an idiot.
Luckily, she's very forgiving.
[clears throat]
This weekend...
miracles indeed.
Well!
I suppose you young people are done listening to me snivel.
Go, dance!
Excuse me.
Victoria...
Victoria, might I reserve your first Maggot?
VICTORIA: Of course!
-Huh.
He didn't even apply.
I've just spent the last few days trying to separate
my aunt from her one true love.
-I think we've all learned a few lessons this weekend,
me especially.
-Hm.
-So...
are you ready?
-Ready for what?
[music starts playing]
ELOISE: Ready to dance.
VICTORIA: Oh, pleasure.
-Really, you don't have to--
-Sam, if you try to weasel out of this dance again,
I'm going to lose my temper,
and I wouldn't want to give you that satisfaction
a second time.
-Was that a witty remark?
-While dancing, yes.
[music continues playing]
-I have you to thank for my sister's happiness.
-Oh, that was all Rob.
Turns out all he needed was a little push.
-Don't we all.
Did you hear I'm moving to Princeton?
-You are?
-When? -Next fall.
SAM: By the way, I didn't do it for Rob.
I didn't do it for Mia either.
-Why, then?
-Turns out that some women can't be charmed.
Some women can only be won by doing something substantive.
-Oh, I was charmed.
I just didn't want to admit it.
-Hm.
[music continues]
*
-For the record, I wasn't weaselling out of
dancing with you last night.
I've always wanted to dance with you.
I just meant that, well, you didn't have to dance with me
in order to...
-In order to what?
-Eloise Cavendish, you can do anything you want.
-I'm thinking of something
really, really inauthentic to the period.
-Like...?
[romantic music swells up]
*