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Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Shut your flapper and listen.
- Okay? - Sir, I--
Your sweet talk ain't going to work on me, Honey.
I've heard it all.
You have until the Conor count of three
to apologize for wasting my time.
Or I'm going to hang up.
- Sir, as I mentioned-- - One.
- Sir, please-- - Two, three.
Okay. Bye.
That was close.
Everything all right there, Conor?
Listen to this.
Some wild boy tried to add
dark roast coffee to our lunch order.
I know. Don't freak out.
I caught it just in time.
- Mh-hm? - These guys,
always with the hard sell.
Holiday season or not, we serve plain, regular coffee.
Always have. Always will.
Anyway, bro,
I had a chance to skim your
presentation for tomorrow, and it's a little--
I, uh, I know what you're going to say.
- Yeah, it's bland. - It's, uh--
What?
I don't understand.
I thought, if anything, this was too hot
for the bedroom, boardroom.
Although, honestly,
I would be a little bit afraid
to try some of these moves on my wife.
Really?
I don't get it. I went buck wild on this thing.
I mean, some of the text is in red, for heck sake.
Okay, fair point. Yeah.
Just keep...
Forget what I said.
Keep carrying on. You do, you do you.
- My, man. - Oh, cool.
Oh, sorry.
- Hey. - Yeah.
- Very cool. - Very cool.
You're the guy.
My man.
Bland.
Yeah, right.
"Spice up the presentation or you're
not getting the promotion."
Ho, ho!
That gosh darn, son of a...
Gun.
I'll show him.
I'll show all those...
Boneheads!
Kristina?
Hello?
You would not believe the day I've had.
Oh, baby.
Let me help you with that.
You read my mind.
Agh!
Woo!
Wow!
Oh, my God!
That...
Was amazing.
You...
You are amazing.
Uh-huh.
I wish Mr. Buechler had a ticket to that spicy show.
Oh, really, really hot stuff.
Well done.
Ah. Speaking of.
Apparently, he says I need to, "Spice up my bland
presentation on sector subdivisions tomorrow."
I know.
What a bonehead.
They're all boneheads.
That's what I decided to call them, by the way, boneheads.
Isn't that funny?
I mean...
What?
Look.
I love you.
I love how smart and funny,
and hardworking you are.
It's just that...
Maybe.
Sometimes.
Oh, I don't believe this!
You're not bland.
Not at all.
Just a little...
A little what?
Square.
What's next, Kristina?
Am I not, uh...
Am I not handsome enough for you now, either?
No, of course you are.
You look like a movie star.
Do I?
Which one?
Gary Busey.
Ugh.
What would really rock my world
is if we did more than just hold hands.
What else is there?
We used to do a lot.
Elaborate, please.
- Well, there was that time-- - No, you know what?
Forget it.
You're not making any sense.
That's it?
My show is on, Kristina.
...has the largest natural lake
in England,
but it is the hub of a virtual cornucopia of antiques.
Join me tonight as I uncover--
We shouldn't go to bed mad at each other.
I'm not mad.
This is Antique Connoisseurs.
This edge right here?
That is a clear indicator
that this was actually
hand crafted in the American Colonial style.
So sadly, this piece has no value whatsoever.
- Shit! - Yes!
Okay, so swearing on TV is apparently cool now?
Thank you anyway for bringing it
on the show today, Mr. Williams.
It really is a lovely piece.
We'll be right back.
Are you ready for the party
of a lifetime?
It's time to bust out of your boredom
box and call Frankie Freako's Fun Time Phone.
Just call 1-900-555-FREAKO,
and fasten your freak-belts for a wild nihht
with the ultimate party animal.
Calls are only $1.99 for the first outrageous minute.
And 99 cents for each additional minute.
That number again is 1-900-555-FREAKO.
Call no w. If you dare.
Okay. No, this is too wild.
Even for a not-square-at-all guy like me.
What are you, square?
Make sure you get your parent
or spouse's permission before calling.
I'm not a square.
Okay. So I know you're going to say, this is,
this is not your grandma's type of presentation, is it?
Okay. Well, uh.
I would tell you to
hold onto your seats because this next slide is a, uh.
It's a doozy. How do I do this?
There we go.
All right. What do you see on there?
Square.
Just your classic, boring old, not boring.
I shouldn't have said that.
Squares are not boring.
That's a perfectly fine,
I like that square.
I can see your faces. You guys like it, too.
Um. But it's what the square represents.
Right? That's what's, uh...
Important.
It represents
metamorphosis, change.
It's a, uh,
it's like...
Um...
Sorry.
Should have brought my notes.
Um, it's...
Well.
It's...
Pretty Freako! Yeah!
Oh!
Woo!
Okay.
Any questions?
Oh.
Uh, hello.
You come here often?
Mr. Buechler,
I am so sorry.
You should be.
Sorry for knocking it out of the park.
No fooling.
That was the best presentation in the history
of the western branch of Magnet Technologies.
- What? - Yeah, that bit
where you started sweating and screaming at the same time.
It's a really powerful button on the whole thing.
Really masterful storytelling.
Okay.
Listen, I shouldn't be telling you this
without approval from the board, but--
Whoa!
You've got the promotion.
- Yes! - Whoa! Settle down.
I don't want Sandy over there to find out she didn't get it.
Speaking of secrets, are you available to help me
this Saturday with something?
With what?
Long story short, head office got wind of some of my crazy
creative accounting,
and so I need to do some creative recycling to
clean up the trail of crumbs, if you catch my meaning.
Oh.
Okay.
I love recycling.
It's a date. Woot.
No, no it's not.
Just got to come in, shred some documents.
No big deal.
So long as it's you
on that camera doing it.
Okay, cool.
See you Saturday, my man.
Okay, well, I think that's everything.
If all goes well at the gallery,
I should be back Sunday evening.
Don't get into too much trouble while I'm gone, okay?
I don't know how I could.
I double checked the locks on the gun cabinet in the basement.
I was kidding.
I know you'll be fine.
And besides, I triple checked them.
The guns are locked up tight.
Well,
I don't even want to tell you
what I got planned for the weekend.
Might be too spicy for your sensitive ears.
Oh, really?
Can you give me a hint?
Let's just say I got big dinner plans.
You're ordering pizza.
Yes, but...
It's going to be half cheese and half--
Half other cheese. Wow.
How did I know?
Well, I guess
I'm just going to do a bunch of really square things like,
oh, I don't know, rearrange the condiments.
Dust the living room.
That's great, honey. Just be careful
dusting around my sculptures, okay?
Hey, you know anything about this Frankie Freako guy
they've been advertising on TV?
You call a number?
He's like a little gremlin guy that likes to party?
No, I haven't.
You shouldn't call numbers like that, though.
Remember what happened
when you called that Freddy Krueger hotline?
You couldn't sleep for weeks.
Yeah, he was just so mean to me.
I was trying to think of comebacks.
Just stick to reruns of Antique Connoisseurs.
I'll see you Sunday.
Okay.
Have a fun trip.
Conor?
Have a freaky weekend.
Philadelphia soundtrack, you're dusty.
So lame.
Muah!
Ooh, boop!
You get one, too.
What a beautiful sculpture.
As it stands right now, I would
estimate that this clock is...
Worth nothinh.
Oh.
We'll be right back.
Oh, my. 8:30?
P.M. no less.
That is late, even for a Friday.
Are you ready
for the party of a lifetime?
It's time to bust out of your boredom box and call
Frankie Freako's Fun Time Phone.
- Just call 1-900-555-FREAKO, - No, no, no, don't do it.
- and fasten your freak belts, - Don't do it!
for a wild night with the ultimate party animal.
Calls are only $1.99 for the first outrageous minute.
And 99 cents for each additional minute.
That number again is 1-900-555-FREAKO.
Hello?
Is this Frankie?
Yeah, buddy!
Are you ready?
Ready for what?
To party, my man!
Are you ready for the Freako Show?
Yes or no?
Yes! Yes, I'm ready!
I'm ready to party!
Then fasten your freak belt!
'Cause here we go!
How did this get here?
What the H?
With caffeine?
So many freaking pops.
This place is a pigsty.
Oh, my God.
This sucks.
This room sucks now!
Oh, my God.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no.
Oh, my God.
What kind of monster would do this?
Oh, yeah! Crank those tunes, my man!
You.
Oh, my God. It's you.
Yeah! Ha ha ha!
What is this?
Hey!
Turn that music off!
That is enough.
That is enough!
Hey.
Thank you.
You guys can--
No! No!
You need to get out of here.
Get out!
You're not supposed to be here.
Oh, really?
Show him, Boink.
Yep. Shabadoo.
Well, you seemed pretty happy to party with us last night.
Have a look.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
No. This can't be happening.
Relax, buddy.
You called us, remember?
We're here to help you loosen up.
Have a pancake.
Take 'er easy there, pilgrim.
Listen,
- you little freaks. - Freakos.
You have until the Conor count of three
to get your little butts out of here before I call
the authorities.
One.
Two.
Oh, God!
Yee-haw.
Shabadoo.
Time to get freako!
Give me that phone.
Ow!
What the heck!
Bombs away!
Oh no.
Fire!
Bullseye!
Ah!
Ha! Mm-hm.
That was a priceless work of art!
You monster!
Uh-oh. Shabadoo!
It's a masterpiece!
Apologize.
Apologize to Kristina. Now!
Shaba.
Don't.
Boink!
Oh, no. Boink!
No, no, no, no, no.
Boink! He's not breathing.
There's no pulse.
Boink. Come back.
No, no, no, no.
No, no, no!
Boink!
I love you.
I'm sorry, I...
I didn't realize!
I didn't mean to kill him!
You,
monster!
I got you.
Shabadoo.
Oh, come on!
Oh, my God.
That's it!
Whoa!
This ends now.
Hey!
For the last time.
You have
until the Conor count of three
to vacate the premises!
Oh yeah?
One.
Hit it, dude.
Two!
Three.
- Uh-oh. - Bad move, Bucko.
Ah!
Where are you?
Come out here, you little freaks.
Yeah?
Hi, Conor, this is Mr. Buechler.
I'm at the office right now.
Wondering where you are.
I'm so sorry, Mr. Buechler. I, uh.
I can't come into the office today.
There's been, uh.
Issues, here. And, uh.
I have to deal with them right away.
Really?
Everything okay?
I don't know. Honestly.
I'm sorry to hear that.
I was really counting on you to come in and help me today.
I know.
You know what I'll do?
I'll call Sandy.
She's always been there for me.
You know, Sandy would make a great manager,
come to think of it. Hm.
I'll be there in eight minutes.
Cool.
Over there.
What?
It's all there, ready to go.
Okay, here we go.
Yes, that's it.
That's it.
Focus, Conor. Put the files into the shredder.
Almost there.
Yes.
What?
Who is it?
I know it's you.
I know it's you, you little freaks.
I'm gonna get you.
I'm going to make you pay for what you did.
What do you want?
Why are you doing this?
Why?
Why? Why? Why?
Why?
Hey.
It's okay.
Is this hell?
You mean the bad place?
Like, the worst place in the world?
Yeah.
I don't know.
Let me make a few calls.
Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Hey, it's okay.
It turned into a demon
and blasted me head first into the TV.
When I woke up, the freakos were gone,
and that's when you called me.
Mr. Buechler, you did not need to come down here.
No, I insist.
If one of my employees has a problem, it's
my job to help them fix it, no matter how personal.
Just so I'm clear, there's three of these freakos?
A little rock and roll party guy,
a dork who does machines and a cute little cowboy lady.
- Is that right? - Ugh.
- She wasn't very cute. - Hm.
Sounds like a little cutie to me.
Wow.
You really did a number on this place, Conor.
Me?
Well, no offense.
I'm not seeing any evidence of freakos anywhere.
You don't believe me?
How did my house get so destroyed then?
How did I get shot in the neck?
Is it possible you shot yourself in the neck?
That is insane.
I did not do all of this myself.
Hey.
It's only insane if you refuse to believe it.
Ow.
Ow! Ow, Mr. Buechler!
Stop it.
I will prove it to you.
Those sneaks are around here somewhere.
I know it!
We should really head back to the office.
Those documents aren't going to shred themselves.
- Oof! - There he is!
There! After him!
I'm going to find these creeps and kick their little heads off.
I heckin' swear.
This better not be some kind of trick
to get out of shredding those documents.
I heckin' swear as well.
You know, there's an internal review of
fourth quarter financials Monday morning,
and I would love for that box of records
to disappear before then.
Oh, jeez.
The guns.
They took all the guns.
Oh.
Hello, Miss.
Hey there, Cowboy.
How about you come give me a smooch?
Mm.
Mr. Buechler, look out!
Oh, my God!
Oh! Oh!
Watch your step, sucker!
Help me!
Oh, boy.
I guess you'll be sticking around for a while.
Oh, bit of a sticky situation, eh?
Laugh at this, freako.
Oh, Mr. Buechler.
Are you okay?
No.
I got to get you some help.
Yeah.
You're right, Conor.
I think this is the bad place
you were talking about before.
- Hell? - Yes.
You're bleeding. You need a doctor.
Whatever.
It's fine.
I'll be fine.
No, you won't.
That's insane.
Only if you refuse to believe it, my good man.
Now, go.
Get those freakos.
Knock them out of the park.
I'm coming back for you.
I am going to shred those little jerks.
And when I'm done,
we can go to the office
and we can shred those documents.
I'd like that.
So would I.
Boop.
I always knew this would happen.
Hello?
Oh, Kristina.
Oh, thank God it's you.
Who else would it be?
Dan Aykroyd?
What?
No, I don't know. I guess not.
Is everything all right?
You sound stressed.
Everything's fine.
What was that?
It sounded like a sculpture falling apart in your hands.
It wasn't.
Look, I'll talk to you later, okay? Bye.
Time to die.
Little freakos.
Agh! Come on.
On the Conor count of three.
One.
Two.
Rise and shine!
Now that we have your attention,
it's time for a little show and tell.
They're smart,
they're mischievous, and they love to party.
For centuries, these fun
loving critters known as Freakos have lived in peace
and harmony on their home planet of Freak World.
Sadly, this time of tranquility
came to an end over 12 freak years ago
when a ruthless Freako named Munch appointed himself
Freak Lord of the entire planet,
overthrowing his fellow Freakos with a vast
army of mechanical Freako Killers.
Once he seized control, Freak Lord
President Munch set to work, enslavinh his fellow Freakos.
He forced them to toil day and nihht, operatinh a vast
network of phone hotlines and in turn, increasing
the profits of Munch Industries by 10,000 percent.
Huh.
But there were three Freakos in
particular who fought against the power of Munch.
Each possessing a special set of skills.
- Frankie Freako... - Oh, that's me!
Dottie Dunko and Boink Bardo
combined their efforts and invented
a way to teleport between Freak World and our world
using the phone lines as a conduit.
And this is ho w Frankie Freako's Fun Time Phone
was born.
Through this hotline, our three heroes were able to escape
the tyranny of Munch.
To live peacefully on earth and party
like Freakos should once again.
We've been through a lot, so we really appreciate it
if you didn't rain on our parade.
We're going to party hard and then we'll be on our way.
It'll be like we were never here.
What do you say, Padre?
Hey, buddy,
wake up!
Shocks advised.
God! Oh, my God!
Oh, what the heck?
Anyways, we got one
night of partying left before we head out.
Are you going to keep making trouble,
or do you want to get freaky with us?
Okay.
You win.
Let's get freaky.
You got any aces?
Go fish.
If you say so!
That's what I call a fish out of water!
Eh, Boink?
Yeah, all right!
Hey, great job, guys.
Teamwork. That's what I like to see.
Oh yeah, Honey, I'm having a great time.
Is that music I hear?
Uh, yeah.
Um, we're having, I'm having a little bit of a dance party.
Hey, hey! Shabadoo!
Would you keep it down?
I'm on the phone!
How are things over there?
Great, we've moved up the installation date for my show,
so I'll be shipping my sculptures next week.
Uh.
Yeah.
Yeah, of course. I, uh.
Oh, man. What time is it?
I have got so much that I've got to do.
I will, uh, I'll talk to you later. Okay?
I love you. Bye.
I can fix this. Yep.
I can't believe it.
I ruined everything!
What's wrong, my man?
Kristina's sculptures.
They're ruined!
Her big art show is next week.
She trusted me to take care of the house.
It was the one thing
she needed me to do, and I bunged it up.
Oh, boy. That's a real pickle.
You said it, Frankie.
I tell you what.
Let me and the pals have a look at them.
We're good at breaking stuff,
but we're pretty good at fixing things, too.
- Really? - Hey, we've had a great time
getting freako with you.
It's the least we could do.
Come on, guys.
We got work to do.
I think things are going to work out after all.
Here we go.
Using a hammer.
I never even thought of that.
Ah, I think I need to wet my whistle.
What?
These are all we have?
Well.
Worth a shot, I guess.
Oh no.
I wonder who that could be.
Well, I'm about to find out.
Uh-oh. Shabadoo.
Bad news, I reckon.
Don't pick it up!
No!
Frankie. I found you.
Get out of here!
Shabadoo.
There, there, cowboy.
This is bad.
Frankie!
What is going on?
They found us!
I told you not to pick up the phone!
What's in there?
Freako Killers.
President Munch's private army.
Fire.
Holy shoot!
Stay where you are.
You're coming with us.
By order of President Munch.
Bring him.
President Munch needs a new concubine.
What? What?
What did he say?
What did he say? Concubine?
What that is?
Where are we?
This is Freak World, buddy.
Or at least what's left of it.
Now that Munch is in charge.
Ha-ha.
Hey. Give that back.
Stop. Stop.
Stop it, please! No!
Ow! Why?
Take her away.
Dottie, no!
Unhand me, varmint!
Damn you all!
Let me go!
Kneel.
Sure.
Hi.
What?
- Mm-mm. - What do you want me to do?
Say something!
Ah, forget it.
Useless.
What button do I press, this one?
Frankie, my boy.
Uh, I'm sorry?
I'm not, uh--
Frankie.
You really messed up this time.
You got the wrong guy.
No more games, Frankie.
No one runs from me.
You're mine. You hear me? Mine!
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Who are you? You're not Frankie.
You're far too beautiful to be Frankie.
He's a keeper!
Ow!
No! Not acceptable.
Frankie. There you are.
The one and only, hee-hee!
You thought you could run from me?
No one runs from President Munch.
I'm going to make you pay.
And all of Freak World is going to watch you suffer.
I'll never bow to you, Freak Lord!
Maybe you won't, but she will.
No!
Dottie.
Shabba-no.
That's right. Your friend Dottie belongs to me now.
But I have something far worse planned for you.
Crunch.
Bring in the Dial of Doom.
Dial of Doom?
Uh.
What's that?
Crunch, show them how the Dial of Doom works.
Uh, me, sir?
Yeah. Give us a demonstration.
Uh, but--
Hurry up!
Uh, okay.
My good friend Crunch here built this nifty contraption.
It dishes out punishments
based on how much of a freak you are.
You spin the dial and the computer
scans your level of freakiness
and subdivides that into sectors
Sector subdivisions. Of course.
And then it rates you on freakiness.
It's all quite spectacular, I'm told.
Green means you're okay. Red means
you're a total freak show and then you're in trouble.
Too bad for you, Crunch.
That's pretty freaky.
That's what it does, huh?
Okay, that was pretty nuts.
Okay, well, thank you for that, Crunch.
Uh, take the rest of the day off.
See you Monday?
All right.
Who's next?
- Hey! - Trust me.
The pretty one?
Well, too bad.
Step right up and let's see what kind of punishment awaits
that sweet ass.
Give her a spin, hot stuff.
Here we go.
Come on.
I'm so sorry, Kristina.
I failed you.
I love you.
Come on. Come on.
Hurry up.
Come on.
Let me help you, buddy.
Hey.
Nice one, Boink!
You think you can do it?
Shabadoo.
Yes!
Here we go!
What? That tall glass
of coochie-coo doesn't have one ounce
of freak in him?
No, no, no, no!
How could you be so bland?
I guess I'm just...
Square.
No!
Let's boogie!
Yeah. Let's do it!
No!
Oh no! Dottie!
Must. Kill. Freakos.
Dottie, you're one of us.
Don't do this!
Remember who you are.
You can do it.
Shabadoo-it.
Come on, Dottie.
I believe in you.
Halt!
Get. Down.
Yeah! Dottie!
Let's go, cowboys.
Hm-hm.
Not this time, Frankie.
Not this time! Agh!
What? What?
You don't know how to drive this thing?
Boink. You do machines.
How does this work?
Don't know. Shabadoo.
- Uh-oh. - Aw, great.
How are we supposed to get out of here now?
Oh no, here he comes!
Thanks, Crunch.
Hey, Crunch.
Thanks.
Never doubted you for a second.
Love you, buddy.
Slow down, please.
Can't this thing go any faster?
They're gaining on us.
Needs more juice, I reckon.
Give me that.
Hey!
Whoa!
Hold on!
Frankie? You did it!
You got us home!
No, Conor.
We did it. Together.
Aw.
Look, buddy. I know it's been pretty crazy
this past little while, but I got to tell you something.
What is it, Frankie?
You can tell me anything.
We haven't been completely honest with you.
The truth is...
It's Munch!
He's gone full Freak Lord!
You can't escape me!
Shoot him, Dottie! Shoot him!
I'm coming for you!
No, no, shabadoo!
- Freak Lord! - Huh?
Come and get me, hot stuff.
Oh, yes.
Yes, the pretty one.
I'll be back for you.
First I'm going to have a little treat.
I'll be waiting for you.
Where are you? My sweet.
There you are.
My sweet treat.
Come and get me.
I'm right here.
I don't know what this plan
is, but I hope it works.
Hey.
I got you!
Now that, my man,
was pretty freaky!
You look so stupid right now!
You rube!
You cad! Ah, you should see your face!
You look so dumb!
Did I say rube?
I meant Rube Goldberg.
Oh, oh. There's no escaping me, my sweet treat.
We got to do something!
What have we here?
Hey. Shabadoo.
Huh? Shabadoo?
No.
Wow.
Home run.
Well, I'm just glad that's over with.
Mm!
I can see why you guys like this stuff so much.
Yeah!
Go ahead.
Hello?
Hey, baby.
Things wrapped up early, so I'm on my w ay home.
Oh.
Uh.
Great.
I'll see you in just under an hour.
Okay, I love you. Bye.
Okay.
So great.
What is it, buddy?
She's coming.
We have got to fix this place up, stat.
Let's do it.
Yeah!
Yeah, cowboy.
Yeah.
Shabadoo!
Good as new.
Muah.
Perfect.
It's like nothing ever happened.
Good job, guys.
Shabadoo.
Huh?
Kristina can't know you're here. Hide!
Let's boogie.
Shabadoo!
You're back!
What happened here?
What do you mean?
Just usual bland and square things
I always get up to around here.
Yee-haw.
Hey! Shabadoo!
Oh, hi.
Oh, them?
Uh.
Well,
I guess you could say
things got a little freako.
I'm sorry.
I failed you, Kristina.
I couldn't take care of the house
for one lousy weekend.
I tried so hard to do a good job,
but I called that dumb number,
and everything fell apart.
I'm such a failure.
Hey. Hey.
It's okay.
You're going to be okay.
It's fine.
It's all totally fine.
What?
Really?
I know Christmas is still a week away, but.
I got you a gift.
The gift of truth.
I...
I don't understand.
We were roommates.
Dottie and I went to gun college together.
Bingo.
Gun college?
Yep.
She's the one who introduced me to Frank.
Frank?
Yeah. I was going through a bit
an aimless phase of my life, and he really helped
give me a sense of direction.
I guess I was hoping that
he could do the same for you.
For us.
Besides,
this one owed me a favor.
Any time, my good buddy.
Ha-ha!
But your sculptures.
Well,
That was a little side project for the freakos.
Honestly, my work
lately has been feeling really stagnant.
And I just need some inspiration.
I knew these little dudes would deliver.
Those look awesome.
Thanks, guys.
Thank you.
I'm not the one you should be thanking.
I got a better idea.
Hey, guys.
- Huh? - I was thinking,
Why don't you spend Christmas with us?
It's the least I could do.
All right!
We'll get started on the decorations.
Go nuts. But, uh.
Kristina and I
have a little business to deal with in the bedroom first.
I've been waiting for this moment for so long.
Tonight,
I'm going to hold both your hands.
I have a better idea.
Freako style.
Merry Christmas.
Satan? Whoa! ?
Whoa!
Oh, yeah! Yeah!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Comfort and joy!
Oh, yeah! This rocks!
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hey, have a freaky Christmas.