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Thank you for riding with us.
Paul, open this door.
I know what you're doing in there!
Paul!
Why are you doing this?
Paul, come out here and talk to me.
You're shit!
So I don't know anything about wine,
but the guy at the store said this was very good.
You asked?
I did. I didn't know what to get.
Cheers.
To us.
Ooh, wine store guy nailed it.
Yeah?
Is that good? I like it.
I love you.
You make me feel really safe [echoes].
I would never do anything to hurt you.
I know.
I think Danny's warming up to you, too.
- Yeah? - Mm-hmm.
But it'll be even better now you guys are here.
I think so, too.
Paul?
Paul!
Hey Cook, you got a minute?
All right, ladies and gents, little announcement.
We have 50-50 raffle tickets on sale
for Frank's daughter's soccer team.
Little Kickers.
We love some Little Kickers 'cause they kick a little ass.
So your degenerate gambling can actually go to a good cause.
All right? - Thanks.
Oh, you're welcome.
All right now, so another day in Paradise awaits us.
Before you hit the streets,
I'd like to introduce our newest team member.
This is Detective Angela Dutton.
Get acquainted, say hello, welcome her like family,
which means we insult her to her face
and talk about her mama behind her back.
Angela comes from Atlanta,
and she was accidentally dropped off in the Bronx,
which I'm amazed you're not murdered,
and she's gonna be with us for the long haul.
And the best person to bring her up to speed
is our very own Detective Deo Russo.
Russo, meet your new partner.
All right, everybody, be safe out there.
Wal... Walden! Lieutenant?
Lieutenant, can I...
Can I talk to you for a sec?
Just a second. Keep up, man.
What happened to your face? What, you can't shave?
Yeah, I got a skin thing.
I was gonna put in for a medical exemption.
A medical exemption 'cause you allergic to a razor?
Man.
Russo, I don't wanna hear that.
Seriously, you blindside me like this?
What is this, karmic retribution?
Did I do something to you or your loved ones
in another life?
Because last I checked,
me and your significant other get along great.
We both find you to be equally intolerable.
Listen, man, I was fine with you goin' solo
when you worked on cold cases,
but now on homicide, I want you with a partner.
Then put me back on cold case.
Deo, it's been five years.
I know how long it's been.
Probably down to the minute.
Look, I got a good thing goin' here.
I get up alone. I go to work alone.
I eat alone. I'm like Macaulay Culkin, man.
I go home alone, I sleep alone.
I don't have to care about another human being.
It is a sad, sad, beautiful thing.
I don't want a partner.
Well, you got a partner. Her name is Angela.
Go out there and show her around.
- She's taking a selfie. - Oh, come--
So she's taking a selfie.
Man, she needs someone like you,
and you need someone like her.
I need someone?
I need her like I need an enema.
What's she gonna do, teach me about pop culture?
You're so full of shit you don't even know
when you need an enema.
Come on, you don't socialize.
You need more human contact.
And if you won't do it in your private life, hey, thank me.
Now you can do it at work.
Is this a precinct or a dating app?
'Cause I can't tell the difference.
Look, why don't you just take the evidence box,
take it across the bridge, and give it to the DA.
- Is this... - Yeah, I mean, what?
This the guy? We got him?
It's moving forward. Well, at least that's good news.
Yes, maybe you'll have a little more good news,
if you, you know, take your partner across the bridge,
a little scenic something and, you know,
maybe a nice bagel at Luigi's.
You know, bond with your partner.
Yay.
What?
Is this because I put the embarrassing photo of you
up in the precinct and got everyone to play
"Where's Walden?" for a month?
You're cute, and no.
It's just 'cause I hate you.
Get the fuck outta my office.
Tell Bob I said hi.
I ain't tellin' Bob shit!
See, these people don't realize I know where they live.
Does anybody got some snacks?
It's my first day on the job
and I cannot wait to get in the car with my new partner.
He seems, okay.
Experienced, maybe a little bit grumpy,
but you know, I mean, I guess
what are you gonna do?
Guess it's you and me?
Yeah. Angela.
Deo. Let's go.
Okay.
Your chariot awaits.
And, where are we going?
We need to drive to Manhattan, take this box to the DA.
Can you drive?
Of course.
Nice catch.
Thanks.
Off to a great start, partner.
Know the way?
No. No, I do not.
Get outta here and turn left.
And don't kill me.
I'm not gonna kill you. Least not today.
Ooh, I'm so excited!
All right, makin' a left.
Okay, this is really weird.
Are we just supposed to drive in silence?
I mean, I thought this is when we were supposed
to be getting to know each other.
You know like, bonding, like gettin' tight.
No, this is the part where we drive
the evidence box to the DA.
And why am I driving?
Equity.
Why do you think? To get used to the city.
Okay. Hey, first breakfast on me, partner.
Oh, money bags over there, huh?
Is that from all your click clack followers?
Okay, that's not what it's called.
Whatever.
I have 1,297 followers, thank you very much.
Can you monetize that?
Let's just say there's room for growth.
But I really just like doing those challenges, you know?
Like the lip syncing and the dancing,
you know the-- - Hey, what do you say
we maybe, like, table this conversation, you know,
give it a rest until after I get a cup of coffee in my hand.
What do ya think?
Okay. Shavasana.
Gesundheit.
No, no, no, no. That means rest in yoga.
So you just...
Okay, so we're gonna stop at Luigi's and get a coffee
and whatever else you want to eat,
on you of course, moneybags.
Luigi's?
Best bagels in the city.
Well, I'm, uh...
I can't have gluten.
Well, have a tomato.
No, it's fine. I'll get a kombucha.
What?
So they're this really healthy drink
that has live bacteria and probiotics in it.
You're paying for bacteria?
Because you know your intestinal tract
is full of bacteria but it's like really healthy bacteria.
It helps with the-- - I don't wanna know anymore.
I'm sorry, I asked.
Okay.
So, they tell me you usually drive solo.
Sorry if I'm messing up your chi.
No, no, no, I'm serious.
I mean like, okay, so I practice yoga,
but I only like to practice by myself
because everybody else's energy
just really throws off my chi.
People really like honking in this city, don't they?
Deo, huh?
Like the "Banana Boat" song?
Do not even do it.
What does it mean?
Godlike.
No way.
- Yeah. - No way.
Yeah, I know.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
You don't, you don't. No.
Angela, it means angel.
Gods and angels protecting and serving.
I mean, I cannot make this shit up.
That is amazing!
Yeah, well, I'm definitely no god.
Well, I am definitely an angel.
Okay, so this is Williamsburg Bridge.
What is that bridge over there?
The Queensboro Bridge.
Queens. So does that go to, like, Queens?
What do you think?
I don't know.
Well, Queens is a borough.
It's the Queensboro Bridge.
The Queensboro Bridge connects Queens to Manhattan.
Sassy.
Let's see, Queens.
Yeah.
We got, now is Manhattan a borough?
- Yes. - Okay. What about the Bronx?
It's a borough.
Uh, Harlem.
- Not a borough. - Not a borough.
Got it. I think that's all I got.
Staten Island.
Look at you.
- Oh my God. - You're learning quickly.
Look at me. I'm like a native.
Good job, hayseed.
I'm like I'm from New York.
- Don't do that. Anywhere. - Don't do what? New York?
Is that offensive?
You're gonna love me.
At some point, you will love me.
Maybe not today.
So are we gonna go near Times Square?
No, it's a shit hole.
Oh! I thought they like got rid of all the porn
and now it's all nice and fabulous.
Yeah, it's nice and tourist central,
which is a shit hole.
They were better off when they had all the porn.
Oh.
Okay, the ADA is out front waiting for us.
Okay, here we are.
It's up here on your right.
You're just gonna find a place to pull over.
There he is.
Derek!
Thanks so much, man.
Thanks for meeting me out here.
Good to see you. - Good to see you, too.
- Glad we got the guy. - Glad we do, too.
With this we'll be able to nail him.
You get him.
Let's go.
All right? Okay.
We're gonna step over, come on.
Here we go, boy.
Here we go.
Love you, buddy.
Be right back!
Hey, thank you.
Hey, Bill. How you doin'?
- Good, Willy. How you doing? - I'm good, good. You?
I'm stayin' outta trouble.
Good, good. You do that, man.
I will. You, too. Pickles are on sale.
Pickles. Are they kosher?
- They're always kosher, man. - Oh, okay.
'Cause I don't look at the label.
I hear ya.
Hey. Took ya long enough.
I had to find you something with bacteria in it.
Oh, okay. Thank you.
Oh, this is good.
Oh!
You do not know what you're missing.
What?
Oh. Yeah, I got a gluten allergy, I'm afraid.
I do not care.
Oh.
Mm, sweet baby Jesus.
"You know what, Angela,
you seem like a really cool person."
I'd never say that.
That is so kind of you to say. Thank you.
Well, you know what, I was born in Marietta, Georgia.
I'm a Libra, so I get along with everybody,
and I know what you're thinking.
That you're ruining my bagel.
Extroverts do not make good detectives,
but I have you fooled, darlin', because I am an outlier.
My dad was in the Air Force.
I wanted to follow in his footsteps
because he's really my hero, but I didn't wanna go to war.
So I joined the force,
and I got promoted about a year and a half ago to detective.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
You know, that almost sounded sincere.
Married 10 years, no kids,
and I'm just gonna lay everything out on the table.
- Please don't. - Put all the cards out there.
Prefer you didn't.
He got his tubes tied without telling me.
You're gonna do it anyway.
And we weren't great going into COVID,
and then after everything opened back up,
that included his secretary's legs.
- Wow. - So I divorced
his fucking cheating ass.
His loss, not mine, because I am a catch.
I've got an ass like a 25-year-old, I'm great in bed,
and I am so over that fucking high school drama.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
That why you moved to a city 800 miles away
that apparently hates cops?
You know what, that city is my past.
My family's gone.
My brother lives here now.
This city...
This city is my future.
Well...
Your future smells like piss.
Okay, Detective, what about you?
What's with this lone wolf mysterious thing
you got goin' on?
All right. I don't like people.
So I shouldn't take it personally?
Look around, bubblegum Barbie.
Community is dead. Journalism is dead.
Narcissism's at an all-time high.
Flip on the news, if that's what you wanna call it.
They tell the flocks what they wanna hear
the way they want 'em to hear it.
As long as it confirms their bias,
they go along like good little sheep.
Nobody can think for themselves anymore.
The politicians and the media are doing everything they can
to divide the people.
Hypocrisy and entitlement are like fuckin' epidemics.
So I've learned to keep my expectations for humanity low.
People are generally disappointing.
Maybe.
But there are some really good ones as well.
Life is a team sport.
We are all in this together.
You're gonna have to learn
to trust somebody eventually, Oscar.
Oscar?
The Grouch.
Isn't that your home, like, right over there?
- That's cute. - It's a nice little trashcan.
Yeah.
73.
Central to 12 Squad.
I swear, always when I'm eating.
This guy.
12 Squad Central.
Request a report.
Possible stabbing 4th and Syracuse.
Bus is rolling.
- Uh-uh. I drive. - Of course you do.
12 Squad Central. Show us responding.
Copy that, 12 Squad.
And you leave all your shit on the seat
for me? - Oh, just get in the car.
You are so inconsiderate. - Shut the fuck up.
This car needs a tune-up.
Hey guys, we're on our way to a stabbing right now,
and this one is driving like a maniac.
Are you fuckin' kidding me right now?
But I kinda like it.
Do not film me.
Why? Are you camera shy?
- We're working. - I know.
You're doing your little click clack videos.
It's not called that.
Come on, you gotta be fuckin' kidding me.
Welcome to New York.
Yeah, seriously.
Although, it does remind me of rush hour in Atlanta.
Atlanta?
- Yeah. - You're gonna sit here
and try to compare New York City to Atlanta.
I'm just saying the traffic is shit there, too.
Everything's shit there.
What? What you got against Atlanta?
Atlanta sucks.
Sir? Sir?
What's happening?
Are you okay?
He needs help. He needs help.
I don't know what's going on.
Sir, are you okay? Can you breathe?
- He needs help. - Are you okay?
I'm gonna...
All right, sir, I'm gonna get you help.
Call 911.
Yes, hi, I'm at the corner of 94th and Denmore.
We need an ambulance right away.
An old man is passed out on the ground.
No one listens to me!
Look, oh man. All right, look.
We don't wanna have to--
- Stay the fuck back! - Don't make us do that.
Put the weapon down!
Get on the ground now!
Get on the ground.
Relax.
- Get on the ground. - On the ground!
You piece of shit!
We don't wanna hurt you, bro.
Hang back.
10-84.
Back up, back up, back up.
Let's go. Let's go. - On the ground!
All right, we got it. Back up, back up.
Man, we don't wanna shoot you, all right?
Killed a fuckin' dumbass today!
Don't make me fuckin' have to shoot you.
I'm fucking done. Stand back!
You fuckin' got no idea what I can do.
Shut up!
- Hey. - Hey. What's up?
Looks like you got your hands full.
Mm.
Can I ask you a favor?
If you want to, go ahead and do it.
12 Squad behind you.
What's up? - Jesus Christ.
I don't even fuckin' know.
This guy, this motherfucker, he's just been doin',
yeah that shit.
He's been doing that shit. - Is that a meat cleaver?
You mind if I try?
You know what, be my guest.
Ah!
I'm Detective Deo Russo.
I'm gonna holster my firearm here, okay?
Just gonna have a talk.
What's your name?
Go fuck your mother and your sister!
- Hope that's not a family name. - Fuck off!
Look, listen, man.
Looks like you're just havin' one of those days, pal.
Hey, just me and you.
You don't really wanna hurt yourself, do you?
You don't fuckin' know shit! You don't know what I want.
Know me!
I know that a tough guy like you,
if you wanna do some damage,
you could do some real damage, yeah?
Yeah, I might! Okay, okay.
Yeah? Now listen, listen to me.
We don't wanna hurt you and we don't wanna see you
hurt yourself anymore than you already have.
No woman, no cry. No guns, no problems.
No one listens to me!
Now, if you just lower that meat cleaver,
you and I can have a little chitchat.
Fuck you, you fucker.
Don't fuckin' think I won't do it.
All I wanna do is get you to the hospital
and get you cleaned up.
That looks like that hurts.
Okay, your arm is not a piece of pizza.
We can do this all day.
But I think you got things to do.
I got shit to do.
You had a bad enough day, man.
Yeah, well, you don't know shit.
Ya know, I know I've been there. How about that?
Fuck off!
Okay.
Don't tell me what to do.
Where'd you get the taser?
Really feeling yourself, huh?
Yeah, I am.
What's your problem?
You're my problem. I said hang back.
For no good reason.
Plenty of good reasons.
Bullshit. Name one.
How about the only one that matters?
I'm your partner and I asked you to.
But you showed me when it comes to you,
the only thing I can trust is your damn ego.
Oh, bullshit.
You didn't ask me, you told me,
like you were my fuckin' superior or something.
Here we go.
You think I don't know what this is about.
You have been butthurt ever since
you got placed with a woman.
You don't know shit about fuck.
Oh, tell me I'm wrong.
Tell me this isn't some stereotypical bullshit.
But for the record,
I don't have a problem with stereotypes.
Most of them are true and a lot of them are funny,
and if you ask me, this world could use
some of that truth and humor that we lost
somewhere along the way.
Nobody fuckin' asked you!
Generally speaking,
I think men do some shit better than women,
and generally speaking,
I think women do some shit better than men,
neither of which has anything to do with right the fuck now.
So whatever wokey pokey, misogynistic, virtue signaling,
victimy horseshit narrative you got rollin'
through that hayseed brain of yours, Detective Dutton,
it is so fuckin' wrong, it's not even funny.
Why don't you two get a room!
Shut the fuck up!
Get up.
Clear the way.
Be careful.
Fucking move. Let's go.
Hey Sarge. Thank you.
Thanks, Detective. Good job.
Thank you. I appreciate that.
Stay back.
Hey. Are we good?
Clearly you're good at what you do
or you wouldn't be here.
Hell, you're probably better than me.
I'm just an average detective at best
just trying to make it through the damn day.
So I highly doubt Walden would put you
with the likes of me if you were anything
but fan-fuckin'-tastic at what you do.
Then what's up?
It's your first shift.
So sue me if I didn't want anything
to happen to you on day one.
I'm not your responsibility.
The hell you aren't.
Around 8 a.m. this morning, you became mine, I became yours
whether we like it or not, that's the code.
Negative.
Meet me at the hospital. Keys are in the car.
I'll ride with the electric slide.
Hey.
Would you have asked me to hang back if I wasn't a woman?
Probably not.
Let me ask you.
Is that so bad?
Negative.
Hey, I'm gonna ride.
You got it.
Just follow the ambulance. Yeah.
Just breathe, buddy. We're five minutes out.
Hey, take it easy, pal.
Avery here's gonna take good care of ya, okay?
I'm just trying.
I like it.
Can I get anything outta him? What do you think?
He's got all kind of shit in his system.
It'll be a while before you get any useful information.
No harm in trying.
You ready to tell me your real name, pal?
What do you think?
Oh, Bullet.
Bullet?
Don't you think Blade would be more appropriate for you?
What did you take?
Everything.
Okay, Willy, take a nice deep breath for me, please.
Good. Okay, one more.
Very good. We're almost there.
Don't worry, buddy.
What do you think, that stabbing yourself,
a little bit of an error in judgment?
All right, I want you to think about this.
When we get to the hospital,
you can talk to me, you can talk to the DA.
I promise you I'm a lot nicer, okay?
Help.
Just breathe, guy. I am helping you.
She's helping you, she's giving you the good stuff.
Jesus.
Easy, easy, easy.
And we're off.
I got a perp, self-inflicted wound, stabbing.
His name's Bullet. I don't know his real name yet.
Oh yes, we have him in the system.
My first New York tase.
Comin' through!
My dog.
Please, it's tied up outside the store.
Hey.
Denmore Street.
Listen pops, I'd love to help.
I'm right in the middle of a tour.
Please. He's all I have.
You have to help me. Please get him.
He's all alone.
- What's your name? - It's Willy.
We'll take care of him.
Please.
Did you see his dog?
Nope. No dog.
Oh my God, will you stop whining?
Listen, what's your dog's name?
Tango. Tango.
Thank you. - Tango.
Angela, you got the keys?
Why? What are you doing?
I'm gonna go get his dog.
Okay, Dr. Doolittle, just in case you forgot,
we still have an arrest we have to complete.
Thought you were an angel. Where's your sense of heroism?
Okay, I love dogs just as much as the next person,
but dog heroism is the ASPCA's job.
And what about you Mr. I don't like people?
Dogs aren't people. They're loyal.
Besides, I thought we were all in this together,
or was that just part of your after school special speech?
Look, post a video of a dog rescue,
I bet you double your followers on your little click clack.
Again, it's not called that.
Again, I do not care. Please process it for me.
Here's the keys to the cuffs.
If he shits or pisses in the back of the car,
you're cleaning it up.
Funny, I told Walden the same thing about you.
You're such a comedian.
Gods and angels protecting and serving, right?
You are definitely not a god.
And you're definitely no angel.
Beg to differ.
- Hey, Logan. - Hey.
- Let's have a chat. - Yeah.
Come on in.
It's a nice place you got.
Yeah. Fuckin' Valenti send you?
Huh?
Let's have a seat. Let's have a seat.
Yep.
Yeah, get comfortable all right.
Thanks.
Jack.
Just gonna sit down and relax a bit.
Dad, what the fuck?
Sit your fuckin' ass down. Go ahead.
Sit down.
- That's my son, man. - Sit.
Sit down.
Leave my son alone.
Go ahead, sit down. He's good, he's good.
- Yeah? - Yeah, he's good.
Right? Come on.
Daddy's a fuckin' troublemaker.
Pal, you're okay.
He's good.
So look, I don't wanna waste time.
I don't wanna look around this shit hole. Where is it?
Where's what?
Hands behind your back.
Where is it?
It's not here [chuckles], I'm--
Where is it, then?
How about you let me talk to your boss, Jack.
If the boss wanted to talk to you, he'd be here right now.
- I got you. - It's not here.
- Where is it? - It's gone.
Throw my fuckin' kid around my fuckin' house?
All right, Logan. Logan.
Logan, here's what we're gonna do.
I'm just gonna ask you questions
and you're gonna either nod or shake your head, okay?
So, okay?
You say it's not here.
Did you move it somewhere?
No.
Logan, did you sell it to someone else?
Because they paid more?
Yeah.
Logan.
All right, buddy boy, come on up.
Relax.
I'm just, I don't understand
what you thought was gonna happen.
What did you think was gonna happen?
Did you think the boss would,
what did you think he would say?
What do you think the boss--
Hey, hey, hey.
Okay...
We're having a conversation.
Hey, make it easy for us, okay?
You did what you did,
so now you gotta accept the consequences.
Yeah?
Okay, so let's talk rationally.
What do you think he would say to you, congratulations?
"Logan, you're a champ. You're a good capitalist.
You know how to work the market.
Well done, you made a profit."
I mean fuck.
So strange. Take this shit off.
Shh. It's okay.
I needed money.
I owed people money.
- That's it? - Jack, you know me.
You've known me a long time.
I'm not gonna fuck you over.
You guys are at the top of my priority list, man.
We go back. I'm good for it.
I'm gonna get the money back to you.
Just let me and my kid go,
and I'll go out and I'll get the money.
So, okay.
I got no product, I got no money,
but I have your fuckin' word?
My word, bro. I'm fuckin' good for this.
Just tape him up.
Man, I swear to you.
It's not like before, I'm not gonna fuckin' do it.
Jesus.
Shh. Shh.
My hands are tied, like yours.
That was good. That's funny.
I know. It's true.
His hands are tied.
My hands are tied, too.
Fuck, you stupid asshole.
Somebody has to pay 'cause that's the way this shit works.
I didn't fuckin' invent the fuckin' order,
but that's the way it works, and that's the bad news.
But here's the good news.
I'm gonna give you options
'cause we've known each other a while, you're right.
Okay, Option A, you die.
Your son, he lives, fuckin' jerk off every day he wants to,
and skateboard, do whatever the fuck he does
the rest of his life.
To be a fuck-up like you or not, maybe not.
Most likely.
Option B, your son pays your debt for you.
- No. No! - No, but listen.
No, but listen.
- No. Just fuckin' kill me. - I get it.
Shh, shh, shh, but listen.
Think of it this way. Listen.
You go to therapy, you cry,
and you go back to your own fuckin' life.
Do whatever the fuck it is you wanna do. Clean.
- No. No. - No, but listen.
We put him in there so you didn't have to look at him,
or he doesn't have to look at you
while you're makin' this choice, all right?
I did that for you. Okay?
So just relax, and I need you to pull your fuckin' pants up,
your big boy pants, put your thinking cap on,
and I need you to think hard, okay?
Listen, I promise if you choose the kid,
I'm gonna make it as quick as possible. I promise.
Okay? So go ahead.
You're gonna think about it, and I'm gonna give you...
- Please, man. - ...30 seconds.
Shh.
Just you say the word and it'll be quick, okay?
Logan, Logan.
Logan.
- What? - Look at me.
Logan.
You want your kid growing up in this fuckin' world anyway?
15.
You want me to kill my fuckin' kid.
- Shh. - Seven,
Six,
Don't make me to kill my fuckin'...
- Five. - Shh.
- Four. - Shh.
Three.
Okay.
What the--
Give up your own fuckin' kid.
Let's fuckin' go.
You must be Tango.
You're not gonna bite my hand off, are ya?
All right, so I want that on whole wheat,
but I want only one of the slices toasted.
Oh, look at you.
You're a handsome fella. You're all wet.
Oh, let me get you some water. I'll be right back.
I'll have the, the Muenster.
The mayonnaise on the side that's not toasted
'cause it like sinks in.
Hey, man, I got my dog outside.
You don't happen to have a bowl of water or a cup of water?
- No. - Anything back there?
Anything else?
You could put bacon on it, too.
- Bacon on it too? - Yep. Lettuce, tomato's good.
Lettuce, tomato's always good.
- Thank you. I appreciate it. - There you go.
Let me get on a spinach wrap,
chipotle mayo on there with the smoked Gouda.
Want some water? You thirsty?
Central requesting units,
in the vicinity of Denmore and Cornerstone.
Central 12 Squad,
you're not gonna believe this, but I'm in the area.
I could be there in three.
Well, it's your lucky day.
Report of shots fired at 420 East Cornerstone.
Unit 312.
All right, dispatch, show me on scene.
Central, send additional units.
Copy that, 12 Squad.
Hey, what do you think, pal?
Wanna go on a little adventure? Come on.
Wanna hop in there? Good boy.
Tango, I'll be right back.
That's a good boy.
Hey!
Got here as fast as I could.
What's with this weather?
It'll pass.
You process our collar?
Yeah, all taken care of.
Killed a father and a son.
Looks like a double homicide, but I don't know.
Well, I checked on his dad.
He's gonna be in a couple weeks, but he'll be okay.
Oh.
Huh, buddy? Huh?
- Hey. - Yeah?
Meet me for lunch at our place in 10.
Why?
Because I wanna know how the honeymooners are doing
and because I said so.
Did he just hang up?
I should poison him.
Boss is makin' us eat with her. Let's go.
Okay.
Open this door. Paul? Paul?
Open this door.
Open this door! Paul?
Feels like we're a family now, ya know?
Yeah. We've never had that.
No?
No, I mean, his dad left when he was so little, ya know?
He's never really known a dad.
No pressure.
Okay. Okay.
Paul, I know what you're fucking doing in there!
Paul, open this fucking door.
Danny, get your backpack, baby. We gotta go to school.
I got us a new apartment.
We're gonna be leaving at the end of the month.
Why?
Are you fucking kidding? Why?
You know why. You're using again?
Good, I'm glad you're not even gonna deny it.
Maybe now you can get some help.
I'm fine, Sandy. I'm fine.
Don't lie to me. Don't do that.
I love you.
Don't do this, Sandy.
I'm not doing anything. You did this.
I told you from the very beginning
that I would never ever put myself or my kid
in this position ever again,
and you promised me that I would never
have to worry about that.
- I've been-- - I don't even know
why we're talking about it.
It's not a discussion.
I put a deposit down. We're leaving.
No.
I'm sorry, what?
You're not leaving. I decided, no.
I am leaving.
I've put a deposit down on an apartment.
- We are leaving. - Nobody
is fucking leaving me!
♪ Yo, yo
♪ I don't care if you from the streets ♪
♪ That shit don't matter
♪ I make 'em see scatter all over the wall ♪
♪ Like fuckin' brain matter
♪ When it comes to wine
♪ Me quick to knock you out the box ♪
♪ Fuck around my knuckles--
Yeah, Walden likes this place.
I have no idea why, but this is...
She loves to shit herself.
Nice.
- What... - Heard that.
You can't take him anywhere, huh?
- I try not to. - Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Hey, how is everyone?
Good. How are you?
Would you like some menus?
Go right ahead.
One cheeseburger, one philly.
Okay.
- I'll have the usual. - Usual. And?
I'll just do a burger and a salad, please.
Gluten-free, please.
Absolutely. Be right back.
Thanks. Don't gimme that look.
You gotta make sure your water's gluten-free.
- You know what? - You should have told her.
You and your sass today? I cannot.
Oh boy.
Hoping that you had some bonding time.
Oh yeah.
We're just, you know, peas in a pod.
Just really enjoying today.
Know what's funny?
Now there's two of us against him
and he's just gonna, ooh-wee.
I cannot. - Pray for him.
You know, I do every day.
Oh, and today being the first day, startin' off strong.
I am. Well, thank you so much for treatin', Boss.
I really appreciate it. - Oh, not a problem.
It's a business expense.
- Ah, there it is. - Oh, okay. Fair enough.
- Thank you. - Of course.
Be right back.
So, I spoke with the DA.
He's confident that the prosecution is going our way.
One second.
Can I order another one of these to go, please?
- Absolutely. - Thank you. On her.
Yeah. Thanks.
So you were saying?
I spoke with the DA.
I just wanna make sure you're, you know, sure on the motive.
Twice convicted on possession with intent to distribute?
Yeah, I feel strong.
Hm-mmm. It was a fentanyl issue.
I don't know what causes more deaths,
the war on drugs or-- - Or the drug itself?
I'm sorry, today wasn't exactly what I expected
to be for you to bond.
Oh no, we're gettin' married next Tuesday.
- Uh. - Oh.
Oh, I already picked out my dress.
Oh, well you got
a flower girl. - I'm so excited.
Here is your second burger.
Thank you. I appreciate that. Can I have another box, too?
- Absolutely. - Thank you.
- I guess he's hungry. Oh! - Thanks for lunch.
In the 11 years that we've done this together,
it's only happened what, twice?
Thank you. - Come on, man.
There's been plenty of dinners
that I have bought for everybody.
Lunch, dinner, drinks. Okay.
I mean, would you like mine, too?
- Oh, thank you. - Oh!
I'll just take that.
Thank you so much.
- Well, I am so glad-- - You're so generous.
Thank you.
Well, I'm glad I could help at my expense,
but at least you guys are getting along.
You owe me a chicken, man.
I guess we're leaving now.
Yeah. And you know what?
Thank you for lunch.
Well, I think he likes you.
I am terrified to see the people he doesn't like.
Well, just give him some time and he'll grow on you.
Yeah, like a fuckin' cold sore.
I'll see ya later.
That asshole has
a dog?
Give him some slack for a second,
I wanna see something.
- Okay. - Stay.
Will you roll?
Can you roll?
Oh my God.
He's just like [grunts].
You got cheese on you.
Stay. Relax.
I think he just nodded.
Sit. Sit.
He's a good boy.
Relax. Yeah.
You're so smart. You're smarter than my partner.
You know what, I resent that remark.
- Uh-huh. - But you did
just call me partner.
- It was a slip of the tongue. - Oh, was it?
- Freudian slip. - I see.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yes you are, you're a pretty boy.
I think you're in love.
He's so handsome.
Come on, buddy.
I know, buddy.
You droppin' off?
- Yeah. - Okay.
So, you're gonna have to fill out a AHS form,
a surrender consent, proof of vaccinations,
dietary restrictions, and...
His owner's in the hospital.
He'll be out in like three weeks.
Dog's name is Tango, but that's all I got for ya.
Well, he just left.
- Gimme a second. - Mm-hmm.
Why'd they even come in here?
It's okay, buddy.
Cruella here promises not to do it again.
Isn't that right, de Vil?
'Mkay. You know what?
If I can give the dog a second chance,
you can give humans a second chance.
I don't think that's a fair exchange.
Oh my God, you are so stubborn.
Just take the deal.
If I take the deal, will you shut up?
No. No, I will not shut up.
But I will change the subject,
or I could just keep asking you personal questions
and annoy the shit outta you.
Fine!
Repeat after me.
I will give humans a second chance.
So dumb. So dumb.
- Just say it. - So dumb.
I will give humans a second chance.
I will give humans a second chance. There.
See? So godlike of you.
See, now that's why I don't do this shit.
So, how does it feel? You're gonna give humans
a second chance, - Feels idiotic.
and you're gonna stop being such a pussy about it.
Excuse me, I am not being a pussy about it.
You're kinda being a pussy.
You got a mouth on you.
That's what she said.
That's good.
- Ah, thank you. - Actually good.
- I got you to smile. - I didn't see that comin'.
- Ah, well. - That's what she said.
It's true.
Oh man.
Till it hit her right in the eye.
Oh!
- She saw that. - What do they call that?
She saw that.
What do they... well, she may not have,
depending on the angle.
What do they call that?
It's not a cream pie, is it?
Nope. I don't know.
- I don't know. - Is it?
No. - No, it's not.
I think a cream pie is when they,
you fuck 'em in the rear, then you pull out, and then you...
No?
Oh, I thought a cream pie was when you come inside
and then suck it out.
Then why would you think it was the--
I don't know. It's what came out of my mouth.
See, look at you.
You're melting a little.
See, there you go. - Good.
Ah, you don't hate me.
You love me. - Don't push it.
You know how I feel about that.
I feel huge.
You still love me like this?
Yeah.
Well, now, maybe [indistinct].
Shut up.
But I love you, baby.
I love you, too.
Hey, real quick, I'm gonna make this run, all right?
I'm not going back to jail, I promise you that.
I promise you that, honey.
How are you gonna promise me that?
I'm not going back to jail, just...
Are you the law?
Fuck the law, all right?
What good did the law ever do for us?
- Nothin'. - Okay then.
Okay then.
If the law ain't never did shit for us, fuck the law.
Michael Crawford, 340.
Michael Crawford, please call 340.
Excuse me.
Team to ICU, please. 17.
Michael Crawford, 340.
Willy. Remember me?
Hey.
What about this guy?
Hey, baby. Hey.
Oh. Thank you so much.
Thank you. - Here's my number.
I'll watch him until you recover.
Come on.
So you have to recover.
Take care of yourself.
Thank you.
Okay, Mr. Willy, it's time for your...
What is this?
Animals are prohibited in the hospital.
It's all good. We were just leavin'.
- Okay. - Take care.
- Go on boy. Go on, Tango. - Come on, buddy.
Yeah.
Again, thank you so much.
Oh my...
I'm not going back to jail.
Run a New York plate. JEC8522.
It's all good, it's all good, it's all good.
It's all good. I got this handled, all right? Okay?
- Okay. - Okay.
Okay, Central, show 12 Squad at a car stop
on 12th and West 29th.
They're coming.
There you go. Chill, chill. Just relax.
How you doin'?
All right, Officer, how you doin'?
License and registration, please.
Know why I pulled you over?
No. Why?
Stop sign back there. You didn't see that?
Oh shit. For real?
Nah, I didn't see it.
Congratulations. How far along are you?
Very.
I saw you two earlier.
For real?
It's a little dangerous to be driving like this.
Just being curious, what was I wearing?
A wise guy, huh?
Nah.
What do you think? Your license in there, pal?
Man, I put all kinds of shit in here.
Gun!
Hey, stop it!
No, let him go!
Lemme see your hands! Let me see your hands.
Fuck off me, man.
Get outta the car, slowly. Let's go.
Turn around, put your hands on the hood.
Let's go, asshole.
Two pounds of sweet tarts in the trunk.
Oh [chuckles], the DA's gonna love this one.
Look Frank, I got a dog in the car.
Do you mind if...
Go ahead, Deo. We'll process it.
Thanks for picking up my bag of shit, Frank.
- No problem. - Appreciate you.
Hey! You drive.
Wait.
Thanks.
Aww.
Oh, thank you. I just got kissed.
You know, I could probably drop you guys first
so everybody doesn't know
that we're the new parents of a dog.
He's been in here for a while.
Maybe we should take him to the park first, give him a walk.
Sounds good.
What a day.
What a fuckin' day.
Wait, wait, wait. Okay, come on.
Come here.
Okay, go ahead.
You think we should get him?
I think you should get him.
- Right. - Yeah.
I failed, Sissy.
Paul?
I'm so sorry.
Slow down. What's goin' on?
She said she was gonna leave.
This is your idea, isn't it?
Get away from me. You're not my dad!
We're leaving today.
Oh, you're leaving today. You think you're leaving, huh?
I give you clothes to wear, I give you food to eat.
And this is how you repay me, you little shit?
Huh? You're leavin' me?
Nobody's, nobody's, nobody's leavin'.
You understand? Leavin' me?
No. Nobody leaves me! You're shit.
Nobody, nobody's leaving me!
Paul, what the fuck is happening?
Paul?
Fuck.
It's my brother.
Okay, get in. I'll drive.
Where we goin'?
I'm trying to find it now.
I know it's in Queens.
What the fuck did you do?
What the fuck did you fucking do?
Can you tell me what's goin' on?
It's my brother.
Apparently his girlfriend wants to leave him.
Look, he's not well.
He began using to cope with the PTSD
when he got back from two tours in Iraq.
He was clean for a long time, so I thought.
I'm pretty sure he is using again,
and when he does, it's really bad.
Paul?
I love you.
All right, we're almost there.
Turn right. Turn right here.
And it says about 800 feet on the right side.
Yeah, yeah, this complex. Unit 404.
Door's open.
You let me go in first.
Paulie?
Oh.
Paulie?
Boss, we ain't do nothin' wrong.
You didn't do nothin' right.
What did you expect us to do?
Jackie, Jackie, Jackie. What are the rules, Jackie?
No women, and above all, no fuckin' kids.
I sent you there to intimidate
and persuade Logan to givin' up the goods.
I didn't tell you to fuckin' kill him.
How am I supposed to get paid back if he's dead?
He sold the goods.
He sold 'em. He made a fuckin' profit.
The fuck was I supposed to do, let him rip us off?
What you were supposed to do is maybe break his fingers.
How about chop off a thumb?
But you gotta go to the extreme? Kill his fuckin' kid?
The shit was gone.
What the fuck were we gonna do?
The biggest problem we have is you two douchebags
got caught on the security cameras.
So now the security company has your footage,
which means the cops have it also.
And my bet is that you are both not willing
to do 25 to life for killin' that kid.
Which means to me that you're gonna sing
like the little canaries that youse both are.
No, no, Boss, we would never do that.
That's right, you will never.
Clean up this fuckin' mess, all right?
The sight of blood,
kinda makes me feel a little hungry.
Do a nice job,
maybe go out and have a couple of steaks, huh?
Did he just say what I think he said?
He said hurry up and clean up this mess.
When he see the blood, he get hungry.
He gonna take us for steak.
Fuck you, Paul.
Is there someone I should call?
Why do men always feel like they have to fix everything?
It's our nature.
Your parents still alive?
Mm, look at that. We're both orphans.
How'd they die?
Okay, you know what you could do? You could talk to me.
You could talk to me about anything
other than what the fuck I'm feeling right now.
How about that?
You know what? We're gonna play a game.
I'm not much of a games guy.
I wasn't asking.
I'm gonna ask you questions
and you're gonna answer them honestly.
And if you don't, you have to take a shot, okay?
My dad died when I was 19.
How?
Stabbed. Prison, all right?
He was a criminal.
Hmm, so you went the other way. Nice.
What about your mother?
Good woman. Passed three years ago.
- How? - Life.
Hmm.
It eventually kills you.
My dad died in combat, Afghanistan.
My mother drank herself to death after that.
And Paul, well, he just went a little crazy.
And you know when everything around you
just starts to fall apart,
it feels like, the only thing you can do
is just grab the wheel and hold on.
Why'd you get divorced?
You should crash here tonight.
Just answer the question.
I was a jerk.
Why?
I caught her with someone else.
Like red-handed? What did that look like?
Ooh. So why'd she cheat?
I was inadequate.
Bullshit. Why'd she cheat?
- We grew apart. - Why?
Because I wasn't around.
Why?
Threw myself into my work, or escaped,
whatever you wanna call it.
I was never present, and when I was, I was mostly drunk.
There.
Why?
We had a daughter.
Ava.
Ava Marie. She was only supposed to live one year.
She made it 18 months.
Congenital heart disease.
I guess after that,
it just got hard to find peace amidst the chaos.
Sorry.
Me too.
What a day.
What a fuckin' day.
You should take the bedroom. I'll take the couch.
You don't have to do that.
Yes I do.
Thanks, partner.
I'll get you some towels and, ya know, whatever.
Who's that? Who's that?
Who's that? - Hey, Tango!
Tango, my good boy. Come here.
Hey.
I cannot thank you enough.
No, no, get that outta here.
Come on, no. Absolutely not.
But I'll give you this back.
This 75-pound ball of joy.
Okay. Thank you.
I just, ah, I just have one request.
Let me walk him from time to time?
He's been, ah, he's been good for me the last few weeks.
Anytime you want.
You know, when I was laying there and nearly dying,
the only thing I thought about
was what would happen to Tango.
So, I had to survive.
I couldn't leave without knowing.
When you came back with him, I knew he'd be okay.
Everybody needs to live for somebody
or something outside of themselves.
Thank you.
That's my ride.
All right, this isn't goodbye.
This is just a see ya later, yeah?
Appreciate it. Thank you so much.
Yeah, say goodbye, Tango.
Say goodbye. Let's go this way, baby.
Come on. Come on.
Why are you filmin' me?
Come on, no one wants to see this.
Hey, you're the one that told me dogs
bring followers, and cops.
Even cops with 40-year-old asses.
Remember those contract killers from a few weeks back
that killed the father and son?
Yeah.
We found 'em, chopped into tiny little bits
in a garbage dump.
All right.
So that's where we're headed.
Wait.
Coffee and a bagel first.
You got it, partner.
Thanks for stopping.
Today's her birthday.