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[ACOUSTIC FEEDBACK]
ANNOUNCER: Star of screen and stage,
the original Face! Face! Face!,
an inaugural winner of RuPaul's Drag Race
BeBe Zahara Benet!
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
-[FANFARE] -[WHISTLING]
[LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING]
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
-[MUSIC STOPS] -[AUDIENCE CONTINUES CHEERING]
[AUDIENCE WHOOPING]
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
-[CONTINUES CHEERING] -Wait.
[AUDIENCE WHOOPING]
All of you are here for me, honey?
-ALL: Yeah! -I made it.
She's made it.
Sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down.
Sit down, sit down, sit down.
I just have a question, people. I just have a question.
Did every single one of you here buy tickets,
-or did some of you come from the side door? -[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
I'm just saying, because, bitch, I need to make some money, honey.
I'm just saying, honey, bitch, I need to...
I mean, look... [CHUCKLES] Look at the look.
I mean, she's spent quite a few coins on this.
Hi, everybody.
[ALL CHEERING]
Look at all you beautiful people,
just beautiful.
Beautiful! Dressed for the occasion.
I'm sure you knew who you were coming to see, yes.
-[LAUGHTER] -And for those who do not look...
[LAUGHTER]
...beautiful,
I'm just gonna see this bitch.
This is a taping, you know, we're taping the show,
so when it's done, we're gonna go right to the back room,
the editing room, we'll edit you out of the footage.
[LAUGHTER]
'Cause, bitch, we're trying to give a look,
an upper look, you know what I mean? I'm sorry, guys.
Beautiful people, make some noise!
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
You all look so stunning. I am here.
Anybody from, uh, Brooklyn?
-Anybody from Brooklyn? -[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
All of the Brooklyn folk, thank you so much for coming.
Listen, people, [SMACKS LIPS]
I just want you all to take some time and relax.
I want you all to have a good time,
let down those tresses,
those wig... [PAUSES]
Hair.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
-Hair. -[LAUGHTER]
[LAUGHS HEARTILY]
Hair. You know what I'm saying?
I just want us to relax because I want you to just think of this
like being in my home, you know, just think of you,
you're in my house, you know, minus the furniture.
Yeah. Don't think about the furniture.
Just close your eyes and think of the fact
that you're in a beautiful castle
with lots of beautiful, opulent furniture.
Yes, 'cause today, we didn't have a good budget for this,
-you know? -[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
But we're gonna relax.
You know, because I'm asking you all to relax,
I need to be relaxed too.
So I need to take my shoes off.
Can someone help me take my shoe...
Oh, oh. Oh!
-Oh! -[WHOOPING]
Oh! Why, everybody say, "Hi, Tim."
ALL: Hi, Tim!
Uh, hon, Tim, take the time, take the time, my honey.
Okay, uh... Ooh!
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
Okay, okay, bitch.
Okay, Tim, take the time. Oh, hell yeah.
Uh-huh. And uh-uh, Tim, Tim, Tim, Tim, Tim.
Just leave it on the side of the stage here.
Just put it on the side, yeah.
Don't try to try it on, honey.
Not here.
Okay, bitch, it took a lot to look this cheap, honey,
so just keep it right there.
I'm not try... I'm not trying to help Tim
with his fetish, you know what I mean?
Not that kind of show, bitch.
Hi!
Oh, hello, sir.
What's your name?
Oh, I'm talking to you.
Oh, you're not sure what your name is?
Do you know where you are?
Testing... Testicles? Testicles, testicles, testicles.
Do you know what you are, sir?
Oh, he doesn't know. I don't... I don't know. [LAUGHS]
He definitely did not buy a ticket, honey.
He didn't buy no ticket.
Okay, people, are we gonna have...
Yeah, are we gonna have fun?
-Come on. We're gonna have it. -[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
Because we're gonna have fun,
listen, like, when I say my people...
When I say, "My people," I need you all to say,
"Oh-oh-ho!"
and all of you are probably saying like...
The Caucasians are like, "Oh, my gosh, I didn't get that." But...
"Oh-oh-ho" in my culture, when we say, "My people,"
and you say, "Oh-oh-ho," it means like, it's like,
"Hey, what's up?" And you're like, "Bitch, what's the tea?"
You know what I'm saying? Sir, do you understand, straight man?
You understand what I'm saying? I don't know if you're straight or not.
I don't know what you're giving,
but the illusion is very, like, heterosexual. You know what I'm saying?
But... My people!
ALL: Oh-oh-ho!
We'll try to get... My people!
ALL: Oh-oh-ho!
Okay, bitch.
Let me tell you that if you do not know who I am,
for the straight men back there
and the one here who doesn't know where he is...
[LAUGHTER]
...my name is BeBe Zahara Benet.
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
Uh-huh, and some of you would know me
from a very little television show called RuPaul's Drag Race.
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
How many people have watched that show?
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
And how many people have not watched that show?
Then you go, straight men.
Go ahead. You can go ahead, do what you wanna do.
It's called cable television.
Try it, it does wonders.
It's amazing.
But guess what?
Right now, I'm going to upgrade your experience
'cause you're here to watch me, right?
-[AUDIENCE CHEERING] -Yeah.
And when you go home, you're gonna have nightmares,
but they'll be beautiful.
Yes, they will definitely be beautiful.
But yes, but that's not all.
That's a part of my, you know...
My name is BeBe. Okay, that's great.
But I'm also from West Africa.
Precisely, Cameroon. That's where I was born.
[AUDIENCE WHOOPING]
I see you shaking your head like you know where Cameroon is.
-Bitch, you don't know where Cameroon is. -[LAUGHTER]
Bitch, you don't know where it is.
You think it's some exotic island.
Bitch, you do not know where Cameroon is,
and I just have to say this,
you know, because I just have to say this
to every single one of you
'cause it's, like, it's been bothering me
quite a bit. [EXCLAIMS]
[AUDIENCE TITTERING]
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
Bitch, that's hard to feel sometimes with the bother.
You know what I'm saying?
People, did you know that Africa is a continent
-and Cameroon is a country? -AUDIENCE MEMBERS: Yes!
-Bitch, you did not. -[AUDIENCE TITTERS]
No, you did not. No, no, no, no, no.
Africa is a... Word?
AUDIENCE MEMBERS: Continent!
And Cameroon is a...
AUDIENCE MEMBERS: Country!
Straight men in the back,
it's like continent, many countries.
And Cameroon, one country.
Do you understand?
I'm so tired of people always asking me
where Cameroon is. Like, "Oh..."
I remember this one incident when I was,
you know, I went to an event and was dressed to the nines,
bitch, I was looking really, really good. I was looking stunning.
You know, you always want to pull a look, bitch,
and make an entrance.
You know what I'm saying? Make an entrance.
I was in there.
I was like... [HUMMING TUNE]
I mean, I was just having such a good time.
And then I see this lady, straight men, yes.
I see him... I see her walking. She was coming close to me.
I thought, "Oh, bitch, she looks good."
She had a three-piece suit on, looking absolutely stunning.
Her colors, you know, she was... You know, this rollers,
yes, holding her little purse, you know.
And she was a Caucasian woman, of course.
She was giving you very Hillary Clinton money,
so you could tell she was a rich white woman. Yes!
So I was just sitting there, so she comes up to me
and she's like, "Oh, my gosh, you look so amazing.
"You look stunning." I'm like, "Oh, my gosh, thank you."
She's like, "Where are you from?"
I said, "I am from West Africa, precisely, Cameroon."
She's like, "Oh, Africa!
"I have a friend, Mohammed, from Senegal.
"You must know him."
[LAUGHTER]
"Bitch, I don't know no Mohammed from Senegal."
How many people here have a friend named Mohammed
or Mohammed as a common... Just raise your hands.
"Yes, bitch, I don't know your friend Mohammed from Senegal.
"I don't. And while we're at it, I'm just gonna tell you, bitch,
"I do not know Kunta Kinte.
"I do not know Toby from the Roots.
"I don't know Rafiki from The Lion Queen.
"I do not know Zamunda.
"And I definitely, definitely do not know Wakanda.
"Bitch, I don't. Don't ask me about these places, like...
"[MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY] from Senegal."
And you know why I know it's Simba.
It's such a tragedy what happened to Simba,
and the father.
You know what I mean? You know what happened to Simba.
I wonder what he's doing these days.
Do you know what Simba is doing? Do you even know Simba?
Oh, American, you know,
Yes, I got to say that.
And then, you know, I don't understand
why a lot of times
when Americans think of us Africans,
they think of National Geographic.
Uh... Right.
I don't get it. You know what I mean?
Bitch, we are not just sitting in mud houses
with bones in our nostrils,
hunting lions and talking to them,
like, "Hey, bitch, what's going on?" "Hey, girl."
You know, we don't talk to our animals.
Do you guys here talk to your pets?
Yes, you do. Yes, you do.
Yes, you do. Very strange.
Very... That's something. It's very stra...
That's very strange!
Bitch, very strange.
I must... I must admit, honey.
That's very strange, because I remember,
I'm, like, sitting in my apartment, you know,
I'll be sitting in my apartment
and, you know, I live in a beautiful apartment,
at least I make a little money. So the apartment is beautiful,
and then it has a little balcony, okay?
So then there's always this white lady...
You know, it's always white. Sorry, I have to let you know what the race is,
so you can really picture.
And she's walking around,
every time she's with her stroller, always walking around,
just, like, in front of our apartment.
And then she's gonna wave. I'm like, "Hey, bitch, what's going on?"
And so, she's walking and then she comes back
and forth and back and forth, and always...
So I thought it was like a kid in the stroller.
You know that. "Oh, Mommy dearest." Very that.
So then I said... One day I was like, "Let me just go up to the store.
"It's a beautiful afternoon. Let me just go up to the store."
So, bitch, I'm going up to the store
and she's coming down with that stroller.
So I was like, "Hey, how are you?"
You know, trying to be a good neighbor.
So I said, "Hey, girl, how are you?
"Oh, my gosh, your child.
"I know it's so hot outside. It's like 90 degrees.
"What's her name?"
And then she tells me the name of the child is Ting-Ting.
I said, "Oh, Ting-Ting." Mind you, I haven't seen what's in the stroller.
-I was like... -[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
Oh, bitch. So I was like, "Oh, hi, Ting-Ting."
You know, you're always trying to make like you love the kid, honey.
You cannot just be like... [EXCLAIMS]
"Hi, Ting-Ting."
So, she opened...
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
...the stroller.
Bitch, it was a rabbit.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
Bitch, I kid you not. I'm not lying.
It was a rabbit.
Rabbit's name is Ting-Ting in a stroller.
Can you picture that?
You all are strange here.
I mean, I'm not judging. I'm not judging.
You would speak to your pets and Ting-Ting the rabbit.
But you're strange. You're strange.
Yeah, but... And while we are at this... This topic,
sir, can you just tell me...
What's your name, sir?
Oh, Kevin. Kevin... [MUTTERS]
It's like one of those, like, normal names, like Mohammed.
You know what I'm saying.
You just don't really...
It doesn't stick out that much.
You know what I'm say... [LAUGHS]
[FAINT CLAPPING]
Ah! [CHUCKLES]
Kevin is like, "Bitch, what did I sign up for, honey?
"Bitch, what did I sign up for?"
But you know what? Kevin, can you tell me
who has always told you Americans
that 25 cents a day
could keep an African child from being hungry?
Who, Kevin?
Bitch, you can't even get a Happy Meal for 25 cents.
Oh, the media, bitch.
What did the...
The... Why the lie... [STAMMERS] Right.
25 cents a day, bitch.
No.
Girl... And by the way, just... All you know right now
in Africa, we have food and water.
Okay, bitch. And food and water.
You can make some noise for that. Yeah.
[AUDIENCE CLAPPING]
And Africa is very beautiful, I must let you know.
Africa is beautiful. It's just like Houston, Texas
minus the racism and Confederate flags, bitch.
It's... You're... Oh, was that too much?
[AUDIENCE TITTERS]
I'm just telling you the truth, you know.
Just from the eyes of an African, honey. [CHUCKLES]
Just saying. Hey.
ALL: Hey.
What were you saying? What did you say?
[WOMAN SPEAKING]
Kevin, you've been to Africa? What part?
It's like... There are many countries, honey.
-Botswana and Senegal. -Oh. Oh, so you know Mohammed.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
So you know Mohammed.
You must know Mohammed, Kevin.
You must!
Know... Mohammed.
You know, I just have to say, you know,
when I look at my journey, [CLEARS THROAT]
I came here about 20 years ago.
I was just barely an infant, honey...
[AUDIENCE TITTERS]
Why are you laughing?
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
What's funny? I know you've gone to Wikipedia
and googled to try to see what my age is,
but bitch, it lies, okay?
But, you know, when I came here...
Not when I came here
but when I was thinking of coming here
because my parents announced to me back at home,
they were like, "Oh, BeBe, we're gonna send you to America,
"so you can, you know, get your studies or whatever."
Bitch, I was very excited.
I was like, "Oh, my gosh, the American dream, honey."
I was like, "Ooh, the high rises.
"Bitch, you know, furs,
"you know, I'm gonna satisfy myself.
"I'm gonna look like this white Caucasian woman,
"you know, just very rich."
I was thinking of Hollywood.
I was... Oh, bitch, I was looking at the brochure, girl,
it was like paradise.
Oh, bitch, I said "brochure," girl.
Bitch, I said "brochure," honey.
Yes, very that. Everybody say, "Brochure."
ALL: Brochure!
Now, what, honey?
[LAUGHS] But, bitch, I was looking at a brochure,
it was very, like, paradise here on Earth.
I was like, "Oh, my God, bitch, I'm going to America!"
Why did I land
and my final destination was Minnesota?
[AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING]
Bitch, it was minus 2 degrees
and they had a blizzard.
Bitch, I looked at the brochure,
I looked out the window, I said, "Oh, hell no!
"This must be the layover."
I said, "This must be the layover."
Yeah, because bitch, this is not what the brochure was saying.
This is not what the brochure was saying, you know?
It's what... [CHUCKLES] Right, sis?
Do you know what I'm talking?
How many people have been to Minnesota?
-MAN: Yes! -[MEMBERS WHOOPING]
How many of you have been to Minnesota in the winter?
So the brochure lied.
Did it lie, girl?
Yeah, I said, not tonight.
It's like what you ordered and what you received.
I said no. But, you know, you kind of make it work.
You know, you kind of make it work.
And so, I came here to America.
Finally, I'm in America. No matter where I am,
I am here in America. I have made it.
And you all can make some noise for me being here.
[AUDIENCE CHEERING AND WHISTLING]
She made it.
But you know, when I got here...
[WOMAN LAUGHING]
Bitch, when I got here in Minnesota,
not like... Well, America. Same thing.
But still, they were... My friends were like,
"Okay, let's go out and let's go have food, BeBe."
You know, mind you, I've been here for a little bit,
you know, a little while.
But you know, sometimes when you come here,
there's always like that culture shock.
And the first culture shock was, of course, the winter
which I kind of, like, started getting myself used to it.
But okay, the restaurant... I've never really gone to a restaurant.
So I said, "Okay, let's go to a restaurant."
So we go and we are sitting at the restaurant.
And now I'm trying to be very, very inquisitive
and just looking around.
And one thing I noticed on every table
was salt and pepper.
Like, every table had salt and pepper.
So I didn't really understand, I was like,
"Maybe that's how the Americans do it."
And then, all of a sudden, the waiter comes
and brings us the menu.
And all the menus look like a phone book
with, like, so many pages.
I felt like I was holding my dissertation.
I mean, it really... Bitch, it really did.
And then he's standing right there
and, like, it seems like there was this imaginary time clock saying,
"Bitch, you better order really fast.
"Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry."
Girl, I swear I could hear the music of Joe Purdy
just playing, just playing. And...
So I have to go through all of this dissertation,
which is "AKA" the menu, bitch.
So when I'm done, I'm going to have high blood pressure
and I'm going to have an anxiety complex.
But I said...
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
"The Yelp review never gave all of that."
Lied again, like the brochure. You know what I'm saying?
So then the food comes out.
The food comes out looking stunning.
You Americans know how to sell the illusion, bitch.
[INDISTINCT]
Bitch, when it comes to the presentation,
y'all know how to present!
The food comes out...
[MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY]
Just laid on the table. Just spread, bitch.
Now I understood why the table had salt and pepper.
[AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING AND CLAPPING]
Americans, what is up with your unseasoned food?
Where is the flavor?
Bitch, where is the flavor?
Bitch, I know if my sister or my auntie was sitting with me,
they should have been like, [IN CAMEROONIAN ACCENT] "BeBe, heh!
"BeBe, I cannot say... Why...
"Why this people's food tasting like that now, heh?"
"Where is the Maggi and the salt and pepper and the onions
"and all the things... I just... Where is the Aqaba, heh?"
[NORMAL] Girl, I could just see my auntie just saying that, you know?
But I have to use this moment
to really apologize
to all of my girlfriends,
because every time we went to a restaurant,
they will hold this, like,
designer bags, you know what I mean?
And they'll go to the restaurant
and when we go to the restaurant and the food comes out
and that bag opens,
there's a whole bunch of spices coming out.
And I used to talk to my girls, I said,
"Bitch, this is so embarrassing.
"What are these people thinking of us?"
Mind you that we're Black girls. I love you sisters, you know.
I mean, if I'm gonna call the white girls,
I gotta call the Black girls, so...
It was us, honey, just pulling out all the spices,
and I just had to say...
But now it made sense because when they pulled out,
it was a lot... It wasn't like a lottery.
It was a necessity.
Like, you needed those spices.
And I know you Americans know what I'm talking about, about the flavor.
Make some noise if you know what I'm talking about the flavor.
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
So, Kevin, do you know what I did?
As a matter of fact, I brought my purse today, honey.
Yes. Oh, yes, I did.
You know, because every time I've been going ever since then,
I carry my purse.
And tonight, I had to bring my purse
because I wasn't so sure
what you audiences will give me.
I don't know if you'll be salt and pepper
or if I would need to season y'all bitches.
So I brought... Let's see what I have here.
Hmm.
[AUDIENCE MEMBER WHOOPING]
Oh, bitch, I have my black pepper. Mmhmm.
-MAN: Yay! -Mmhmm.
Let me see, I have my...
Oh, my Baileys. Mmhmm.
Mmhmm.
What do I have? I have my sesame seed, bitch.
Mmhmm.
I have the sesame seed, bitch. I have my hot sauce, bitch.
Bitch, I have my paprika, bitch.
Bitch, I got my paprika, bitch.
What do I have? My five spice.
Yeah, that... That is a good one, bitch.
It's just a good one. You need to try it, uh-huh.
It's a good... And then, ah, yes.
And my sumac here. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, bitch, oh... Oh! And I brought some sprays.
I brought my pepper spray, bitch?
Oh, yes, bitch, I hear that.
You know, if anybody tries to act cute, honey,
I'm gonna use my pepper spray because... Oh, yes, bitch.
I'm not doing it, honey. I could be tall and Black,
but I'm not Dave Chappelle, bitch.
And bitch, Will Smith is not about to get...
Is Will in the house?
Will, I got one for you, bubba, bitch!
If you come to me, honey, Kevin...
[LAUGHS]
She just needs to come prepared, honey,
You are just looking at me so stunned.
I know you've never seen this kind of beauty before. It's a lot.
It's a lot to, you know, take it all in. Mmhmm.
Mmhmm. What's your name, sir?
-[MAN SPEAKING] -Oh, hi, Brian. Where are you from?
[MAN SPEAKING]
[FAINT LAUGHTER]
Where's that?
[MAN SPEAKING]
Oh, okay.
It's a country?
[LAUGHS RAUCOUSLY]
Bitch on a bus.
But you know, when I...
Also, I just have to also ask you all Americans.
and I wanna say, I have so much love for all of us, for you.
But I also don't understand
why people are so... Americans just, in general,
why you all are so obsessed with accents?
Like... Oh, they... Am I lying?
Please, make some noise if you think I'm telling the truth.
[AUDIENCE WHOOPING]
Yes, I was in another event, you know,
having a good time, dressed to the nines.
You know, like I say, I always dress, honey.
And this lady comes through again, honey.
Caucasian lady. And I love you Caucasian women.
Don't think I'm trying to pick on you, because you bitches pay my bills, so...
I'm not... You understand? I know.
You know that purse has a lot of...coins.
So, but...
It's always y'all acting very blonde, you know what I mean?
Like, it's like America is full of a lot and a lot of different cultures,
so I just don't understand when an immigrant comes
and you guys act like it's some alien from outer space.
She comes up to me and she's having a conversation with me,
and she's like, "Hey, you know, you're dressed nice.
"Oh, my gosh, you look really good."
I said, "Oh, bitch, thank you so much. I get this all the time."
[LAUGHS RAUCOUSLY]
And she's like. "Oh." So we started having a conversation.
So she asked me and she's like, "Where are you from?"
I said, "I'm from Cameroon, West Africa."
She's like, "Oh, my gosh, your accent.
"Oh, your accent is so beautiful."
I said, "Oh, bitch, here we go.
"Here we go."
The accent, the stereotypes that you...
You know, it's come to the point where
now every time when people ask me, "Your accent, your accent."
I just break down and just be honest and I say,
"Hey, bitch. I'm from South Dakota.
"It's exotic there."
I'm just a riot, bitch. You've got to tell... You know what I mean?
And by the time they come to you and say,
"Hey, bitch, where you... Where are you from?
"Oh, my gosh, you have a..."
"Oh, you have a nice thing." You got to catch them
before they try to catch you.
Okay, you're trying to tell me that I have an accent, honey,
What's so special about my accent, anyways?
Nothing so special.
Try people from Boston and New Orleans, honey.
Oh, girl, anybody from Boston and New Orleans,
if you've heard them talk, now that's an accent, honey.
Isn't that an accent, honey?
Yes, that's an accent.
You know, sometimes when I go to those cities,
I have to just take my translation dictionary with me.
They'd be like, "Hi! Hi!"
"Siri, what did they say?"
But you know what? I'll have to also say this.
You know, the fact that I'm African,
and by the way, I am a very, very proud African, sis.
-I'm a proud one. -[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
How many... Do we have Africans in the house?
I'm not talking about those from here,
and I love you from here, bitch,
'cause I knew it's a lot of boats, honey.
But Africans that have come here,
not through what they've come through,
like airplane. I need them coming through the airplane.
Make some noise.
Oh, where are you from?
[WOMAN SPEAKING]
Ethiopia!
Oh, oh!
That's a long way, bitch.
Other... Other people from Africa? Also Ethiopia.
Who else do we have in the house?
-Oh, where are you from, sir? -[MAN SPEAKING]
Oh, ooh, South Africa.
Oh, any other Africans in the house?
Just two?
[LAUGHTER]
[WOMAN SPEAKING]
Oh, you used to live in Botswana?
Oh, so, you think you have a card
because you used to live in Botswana.
Bitch, no, you don't.
That don't make you no African, bitch.
You're just brown, honey. [LAUGHS RAUCOUSLY]
But I have to just say that
the fact that I am African, Kevin...
You know, Kevin is like, "Oh, bitch..."
Kevin, [CHUCKLES] you're gonna get used to it, but...
The fact that I'm African doesn't mean
I drive a cab,
or I know how to braid hair.
I'm just... I just have to say it doesn't. I'm not...
Well, as a matter of fact, I probably know... I know how to braid hair
because after we're done tonight,
I have to go to 125th Street
because I have some clients till midnight, do you get it?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I'm just saying, sis,
because it takes a lot to look this cheap. You understand what I'm saying?
So I gotta go make my coins, you know what I'm saying,
because people think like, "Oh, you won RuPaul's Drag Race and blah, blah..."
Bitch, I'm still broke, you know what I mean?
Like, one of my friends, the other day, called me
and she was like, "Oh, BeBe, you need to...
"You need to spread the wealth."
I said, "Bitch, what do you mean 'I need to spread the wealth'?"
Okay? She's like, "Girl, well, I was on Google
"and I found out your worth is $1.5 million."
I'm like, "Bitch, where is the money?
"Bitch, where's the money?
"Because I remember when I won RuPaul's Drag Race,
"it was $20,000, bitch.
"And by the time I received my check,
"the IRS had taken half of that check.
"They had, bitch, and then when I wanted to cash the check,
"I had to pay to cash the check. Bitch.
"And then I had to feed all of Africa.
"So, bitch, where is the money?
"Because the wire transfer has not cleared, bitch.
"I'm still waiting, bitch."
I'm telling you, Google and Wikipedia, bitch,
they try... The lies they tell!
Hi!
What's your name, sir?
-[MAN SPEAKING] -Oh.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
Just like Mohammed.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
Just like Mohammed.
Just like Mohammed from Senegal, bitch.
So now you see how stupid that question was, bitch.
I'm just saying, but...
[CHUCKLES]
[LAUGHS SILENTLY]
Kevin, I'm not trying to say anything wrong about you.
Kevin, it's a... You're okay, but it's a good name.
Mmhmm.
You know, one thing I also noticed when I came here,
like, one of the stereotypes I see,
you know, when I come here, um,
people always tell me. "Oh, my gosh, Africa, Africa. Are you guys...
"The fact that you're from Africa,
"that means you guys really know how to move.
"Like, you have rhythm."
I said, "Well, some of that is true,
"but not everybody has rhythm," you know what I mean?
Because I feel like the media has bamboozled you,
that in Africa we just have only three dance moves. Okay?
Like, we have just a...
Bitch, you know, and... Any dancers in the house?
Any... Y'all know exactly what I'm talking about.
You think we have just three dance moves?
And do you wanna know who I really blame, honey?
I'm not pointing at you like you're the one I blame.
Don't get too nervous.
But bitch, I blame Coming to America.
Bitch, yes, I blame that movie Coming to America.
They tried it, bitch.
They tried it thinking that we have just three dance moves.
The only thing they got right is the rose petals.
Yeah, everything is far-fetched, bitch.
Everything is far... But if you're a dancer in the house
and you know what I'm talking about,
those three African moves, please make some noise.
-MAN: Yay! -[AUDIENCE MEMBER WHOOPING]
Uh, if I ask you to come up here,
can you come up here, honey?
[AUDIENCE WHOOPING AND CHEERING]
Come up here, honey.
[AUDIENCE MEMBER WHISTLING]
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
Mm.
Wow. Wow.
Mmhmm.
Okay, bitch. I... What's... What's your name, by the way?
What's your name, sir?
Uh, Kevin.
Oh, bitch, you don't look like a Kevin, honey.
You're not giving me a Kevin, honey, that's not an illusion.
-What's your name, sir? -Eddie.
Oh, Eddie. Where are you from?
New York, Manhattan.
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
-Born and raised? -No.
Bitch, we need to know the real place.
Bitch, where are you from?
Liberty, New York.
Is that a country?
[LAUGHS RAUCOUSLY]
I'm just saying, bitch, is that a country?
But listen, Eddie, I want you to...
How do you... By the way, there's three dance moves I'm talking about
and you say you know
-about... -I think I know what you mean.
You think I know. What makes you think that you know?
Taking dance.
Oh, tak... Oh, because you're a dancer and a choreographer?
Oh. So...
I know... I don't know if I know you,
and I am putting you on the spot...
I just wanna make sure that you don't have a heart attack,
you know what I'm saying?
Look, just trying to make sure...
But Kev, uh... Eddie, can you...
Would you... If I put some music,
would you be able to show the audience the three dance moves?
Because sometimes they look at me as if I'm always just... [BLABBERING]
-Do you want him... -[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
If somebody hits some music for me, people.
-Hit some music. -[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]
Come... Come on, make some noise.
Ah! Ah! Come on.
Oh! Ah!
Eh! Eh!
Ah! Ah! Eh!
Eh! Eh! Eh!
Eh! Eh! Hey. Hey!
Ah! Ah! Oh!
All right, all right.
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!
Ah, ah, ah!
That's too much! That's too much!
Too much. That's too much.
Cut that music.
-[MUSIC STOPS] -Uh-huh.
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
Uh-huh.
Not the split, bitch. The split...
That wasn't... That wasn't part of the routine, bitch.
Not this. The other three, you've got the other three.
Yeah, you got the other three but not the split but you did...
Everybody, please make some noise for him.
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
You put all those three moves together, honey,
and you have the African tribal dance.
And it's so interesting because all the way up to today,
those are the three moves that they're still teaching all you bitches in class, honey.
Kevin...
Africa. Many countries.
Okay? Many countries.
But, you know, after being here in America,
some things feel very normal, sis.
You know, some things feel very normal,
like, sometimes it felt like home.
And I'm gonna tell you this incident.
One of the things that I kind of see the similarities
between America and Africa
are the aunties.
The gossips, bitch.
Oh, you're like... Oh, you don't know who the aunties are?
If you don't know who the aunties are, then you are the auntie.
Bitch, you know what I mean? Okay, how many people know when I say the aunties?
-How many people know what I'm talking about? -[AUDIENCE WHOOPING]
Exactly. So, you know, I was minding my own business.
I was just sitting, you know, It was a beautiful day.
You know, I always have to paint the scenery
so you guys can actually know what was going on, bitch.
I cannot just tell the story, you know what I mean, bitch?
You've got to paint... So it was a beautiful day, you know. [LAUGHS]
Sis, it was a beautiful day, bitch.
I would say probably like 80 degrees.
You know, nice, sunny, whatever.
And I was just like... I came and I was sitting by two aunties.
They were just sitting there. And I was like, "Hey."
We're just having a very nice, polite,
intelligent conversation.
I know they have lived in America
for such a long time,
but they were actually from Africa.
So, you know, we're like, "Auntie, how are you?"
"Oh, good to see you. You're looking so good," or whatever.
And then all of a sudden, this beautiful young girl,
I would say she's probably like 25 years old.
So she had a little mini skirt on, her little crop top,
you know, long hair.
She was giving you the fantasy just like a teenager.
And I'm like... Well, she's not a teenager
'cause she was 20-something years old.
But you understand, she was young.
So she's walking through and she's coming through,
and she comes by the aunties, right?
Her name is Amina.
Everybody say "Amina."
-Amina. -ALL: Amina.
Yeah, because you need to understand the story, right?
You cannot just...
You need to understand who Amina... Amina.
-Amina. -ALL: Amina.
You've got to put it like that.
You have to put a little accent to it. Amina.
-Amina. -ALL: Amina.
So Amina is here.
Just... [HUMMING]
And then she comes and then she sees the aunties,
and I'm sitting there.
So all of a sudden, she says,
"Aunties, aunties, good afternoon.
"Oh, good afternoon."
And then one of the aunties is like,
[IN CAMEROONIAN ACCENT] "Eh, eh, Amina.
"How are you now?
"Oh, my gosh,
"you are a big girl.
"Ah! Beautiful!
"How is your mother, Sarah?"
She's like, "Oh, Auntie, my mother is doing great."
"Oh, you're going home.
"When you go home, say hi to your mother, eh?"
"Uh-huh." "Tell her that we say hello, okay, Amina?"
So Amina is about to leave. "Okay, bye, Amina.
"Oh, my gosh, oh. Ah, such a good girl."
[NORMAL] Bitch, Amina did not take ten steps away.
that auntie turned around me and said,
[IN CAMEROONIAN ACCENT] "You know this Amina kid, eh?
"I hear that her mother,
"that her mother is a hateful bitch.
"Her... And you see that Amina?
"Look at Amina going like that. That's a prostitute, eh?
"She is a prostitute.
"She is a published prostitute, eh?
"This... Ah! Ah! Look at her! Dirty girl, eh!"
[NORMAL] I looked at that wo...
I looked at the aunties, I looked at myself.
"Bitch, I'm not a published prostitute, bitch."
Bitch, no, can you imagine being a published prostitute?
Bitch, it means you've made it, bitch.
[AUDIENCE CHEERING AND CLAPPING]
Bitch, how many people know what published prostitute...
Kevin, you do not know what published prostitute...
Bitch, it means he made the back pages, bitch.
Okay? It means you had some money, girl. I couldn't...
I was like, "Oh, these...
"But y'all also know how to gossip here."
Amina.
ALL: Amina.
Amina.
-Amina. -ALL: Amina.
[LAUGHS RAUCOUSLY]
Yeah, but you know what, people?
I would still say that
I am very happy to be in America.
I believe...
In spite of it all... In spite of it all,
I'm very happy to be here, in spite of it all.
In spite of Amina,
in spite of the Kevins.
Bitch, I'm happy to be here because you know what,
even being here, I have really achieved quite a bit.
[AUDIENCE WHOOPING AND CHEERING]
For those who have television, you would know.
Uh-huh, for those who have television.
you know I've won reality shows,
I have had top charting music,
I have gone viral,
I have made TV appearances.
I have been living the life.
And I will not complain.
But bitch, nothing was so important to me
than getting my citizenship.
[AUDIENCE WHOOPING AND CHEERING]
Bitch, when I got my citizenship,
that's how I knew I made you Africans...
And not just Africans,
immigrants in the house, make some noise.
I'm talking about those that came here
because immigrants can be many different things.
But those that came here, make some noise.
All four of you? There you go.
So you will know exactly what I'm talking about,
why America makes it so hard, bitch,
for us to get our papers, honey.
They make it so difficult
to become a citizen here,
and which I really don't understand.
Because a lot of the jobs here, you don't wanna do them.
And then we come here
and we do the jobs for you bitches,
and you still don't wanna give us our paper.
I don't get it.
Do you all... Do you just... Okay, just to let you know
with the whole citizen... Citizenship process,
it's like this exam that you have to study.
Bitch, you have to study it
like your life depends on it, bitch.
I'm telling you, you don't understand.
It is so tedious.
You've got to know all of these things about American history.
And... Right? How many people studied...
Did you study the exam?
Yeah. And legislature, right?
Wasn't that a pain... It was a lot
to learn all of those answers in the question...
And the gag about it is that
99% of all you Americans, Kevin,
do not even know the answers.
Bitch, you don't even know the answers.
But then you're making us do all that bullshit.
Somebody got it now?
Okay, somebody got it now.
How many people here are proud to be American?
I know a lot is going on right now,
but think about the glory days.
If you are a proud American, make some noise.
[AUDIENCE CHEERING AND CLAPPING]
What's your name, sweetheart?
[WOMAN SPEAKING]
Kristen, where are you from?
Can you come up here, please?
[AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING]
Come on here, Kristen.
Take your time, Kristen, honey.
Take your time. Take your time, Kristen.
How many people here are proud Americans?
Come on, if you're proud...
What's your name, sir?
[MAN SPEAKING]
Uh, Erik, can you come on... Come on. Come on.
Come on, Erik.
How many people here are proud Americans?
I need... Here, let's see.
Hmm.
-What's your name, sir? -[MAN SPEAKING]
-Where you from, Brady? -[MAN SPEAKING]
Oh, because Brady is a very American name, honey.
She's given... You know, you're giving me a very American name.
Are you proud to be an American?
Come up here.
So I'm going to position you guys.
-I need you over here, baby. -Okay.
Mmhmm. Mmhmm. Stand there. Take your time, take your time.
And I'm gonna... Mm. Take your time.
Okay, now stand, you know, like, stand like a model, honey.
You're on television.
Now stand over there.
You're giving me very salt and pepper, bitch.
I need you to look seasoned!
Uh, hon...
I need you to stay... [GRUNTING] Mmhmm.
Guys, do you guys know what we're going to do?
We are going to play a game.
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
We're gonna play a game, and the title of this game is
"Are You Smarter Than An Immigrant?"
-[AUDIENCE CHEERING] -[DRUM ROLL]
[FANFARE]
And you know, and you know...
You know, I just have to let you guys know
because we're gonna play this game...
Don't get nervous. It's okay.
I mean, you're a proud American, bitch.
You should not get nervous, honey.
Okay? And guess what?
When it's all done, if you all get the answers correct,
then you go back to the world
and you get to celebrate yourself
and the freedom that America has to offer.
But bitch, if you fail...
-Get out. -No.
We're going to have some ICE agents waiting right out of the door.
Bitch, you don't even need to take your belongings
or anything. You just have to follow them, honey.
I'm trying to... I'm trying to help you bitches here.
I'm trying to help. You just got to follow them.
Do you know where you're originated from?
Like, I know you're in America.
But do you know where your origins are from?
-Yes. -You do.
-Yes. -So you're going there if you don't...
Okay, so...
Take your time.
So I'm going to like... [MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY]
Everybody clap. [MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY]
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
We are going to go to contestant number one.
What's your name? I want you to introduce yourself,
and I want you to tell us where you're from
and why you are proud to be an American.
-You can hold it. -Right, okay.
My name is Kristen, and I'm from Cincinnati, Ohio.
And I'm proud to be an American
because of all the freedom we have every day.
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
[AUDIENCE MEMBERS WHOOPING]
I don't take it for granted,
and I hope that I make everyone proud.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
Okay.
Bitch, okay, that was a lot!
It was just supposed to be a simple introduction, bitch.
Not a whole paragraph, girl.
[SIGHS] Contestant number two.
Can you let us know what your name is, where you're from
and why you're proud to be an American?
-Hi. -You can hold it.
Hello, uh, I'm Brady.
I'm from Dallas, Texas, and I'm proud to be an American
because you, uh... I can be as gay as I want.
-[AUDIENCE CHEERING] -Thank you.
Uh-huh.
I like that. That was good. Freedom.
So bitch, you better make sure
you know the answer to this question,
if you want that freedom
because all these bitches keep talking about freedom, bitch.
Okay, I'm just saying.
Contestant number three. Hi.
Can you tell us your name, where you're from
and why you're so proud to be an American?
My name is Erik. I'm from Brooklyn.
[AUDIENCE WHOOPING AND CHEERING]
And I was saying, I was, like, kind of proud to be an...
I was going like this.
You know, sometimes it depends on the day.
When I am proud, it's because of what they said though
When I'm not proud it's because of everything else.
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
A little too much, but okay.
Are we ready for these questions?
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
Now I need y'all to really, really support these.
I mean, coming up here and doing this is the...
That means it's... You're very bold
and your life is at risk.
Okay, bitch.
So, contestant number one.
[AUDIENCE MEMBERS WHOOPING]
Who is the Chief Justice of the United States right now?
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
Pounding. Um...
I don't know.
Chief... I mean...
Just stay there.
Contestant number two.
-Are you ready? -No.
Name one of the Federalist Papers.
Name one writers
of the Federalist Papers.
Andrew Hamilton.
-No? -Do you believe you got it?
You are a proud American, do you believe you got it?
And do you feel your answer is correct?
Yes, I'm gonna go with yes.
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
He got it.
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
You can enjoy your freedom now, bitch.
Just be gay, girl.
You can get more gayer, bitch.
[LAUGHTER]
Contestant number three.
[CLEARS THROAT]
What's the name of the doctor
who performed Pamela Anderson's breast augmentation surgery?
We also need the exact date and time of the procedure.
[FAINT CLAPPING]
[FAINT LAUGHTER]
Uh, Dr. Hugh Hefner?
[MIMICKING BUZZER] Failed.
Failed. Uh, you know what? [COUGHS] Ahem.
Agent.
[AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING]
You can take them.
You can take them. Yeah, you can take... Girls, I tried.
I tried. There you go. You can take them.
Yeah. Yeah, you can take... It's okay.
I'm sorry, I tried. You can...
I'm sorry.
I tried. I tried.
Bitch, that is what any immigrants would know.
Bitch, that is the process.
That is what it takes to live in this country.
Pamela's breast augmentation.
[LAUGHTER]
But people, I have to tell you,
when I got my citizenship... And, yes, I got my citizenship.
I did, bitch.
When I passed my citizenship,
it was everything.
It was everything to me, bitch.
I could go to...
I could vote because voting is the big one, you know what I'm saying?
And speaking of voting, all of you bitches need to go out there and vote, honey.
-Okay? -[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
Y'all need to go out there and vote, honey.
They are really trying to take our shit away.
But they'll soon know what I'm talking about.
Kevin, you probably don't know what I'm talking about. But...
Kevin, do you know what I'm talking about?
Okay, what am I talking about, Kevin?
[KEVIN SPEAKING]
Our freedom, Kevin?
[LAUGHTER]
[CHUCKLES]
Kevin, our? O-U-R?
[CHUCKLES] I don't know about that, Kevin,
because you're not giving me "our," honey. [LAUGHS]
But people, like, I have to say,
like, when I won and I was here
and I got my citizenship,
bitch, when I got that citizenship,
it was everything to me, bitch.
I was at the grocery store.
I would see this old lady trying to get her fruits or whatever, bitch,
and I was just waving my ticket. I was like,
"Bitch, I'm a citizen! Bitch, I'm a citizen!
Everywhere. "Bitch, I'm a citizen."
And it was just... It just meant so much to me.
It meant so much to me because here I am in America
and people, I know you guys have been here,
and I'm so happy that you guys came here to see me,
but I will tell you this.
I mean, because there's... There's an end to all of these conversations,
the differences, the similarities. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
What that means to me is that America is such a melting pot
where there are so many, many people who live in this country,
and what makes this country so beautiful
are the differences that exists here in this country,
-[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING] -Every single person
that is in this country is from somewhere
and what makes it beautiful,
when we can sit here and we can laugh
and have a good time
is because we can talk about our differences
and they are funny,
but they also make us together,
make us be together.
They make us align our energies together.
Do you know what I'm saying?
So we should love being here.
We should love the freedom of being gay.
Okay? We should love...
We should love. We should be able to...
We should take that time
and really, really just love the freedom,
and that's why I'm so excited to be here.
That's why I'm a proud African,
but I'm also a very proud American.
Yes, I am.
[AUDIENCE CHEERING AND APPLAUDING]
So I am saying, people,
as we're enjoying the freedom here in America,
we need to love each other
and we need to love ourselves
and we need to celebrate the freedom
that we have here in this country.
So when you are sitting at that restaurant
and you see that immigrant who is sitting right there
going through the phone book of a menu trying to figure out,
"Bitch, what am I going to eat?"
You just lean all the way back
with your basket of seasonings and that hot sauce
and tell them, "Bitch, it gets greater later."
Thank you so much, everybody.
-[AUDIENCE CHEERING AND APPLAUDING] -["WAITING" PLAYING]
Bye.
Bye, people.
[IN CAMEROONIAN ACCENT] Amina!
ALL: Amina!
[LAUGHS] Thank you, everybody.
[AUDIENCE CHEERING AND APPLAUDING]
[WHISTLING]
[CONTINUES CHEERING]
* You can be tender and I'll be lightning
* You can be a match and I'll be gasoline
* Something like a tower and electricity
* I really like a chemistry and I've been patient
* But I can keep on
* Waiting, waiting, waiting waiting, waiting *