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(loud rock music playing...)
My family doesn't need me.
We can run away together,
you and I.
My family doesn't need me.
We can run away together,
you and I.
I can give you the moon
and all the stars, baby.
Sounds like a promise
he won't keep.
Hey, Pen.
I can see that you're ready.
I am.
And?
And what?
Do you like how I look?
You look great.
I'm almost finished with the second act.
I'm really close.
Can we just be a little late?
No, we can’t just be a little late.
You know what?
Just do what you want.
I don't even care.
Pen?
Penny?
No!
Penelope?
Can you at least turn that music down?
Please?
I told you I was almost ready.
And, we're still in
time for the show.
You see?
There's no need to get
your panties all in a bunch.
Albie, we’re supposed to
actually get out and do something fun tonight.
That's what you promised
Doing this is fun, isn’t it?
I didn't drop the kids off for this.
Can we get going?
Okay.
I know you don't want to be late.
Don’t worry,
There's more where that came from later.
Can't wait.
Let's go.
Can’t we change that light out with a more dim light?
It’s so ugly.
I don't know.
Aren’t men supposed to do these things?
Are you a man, Albie?
You know I'm a man.
I’m the man.
How long you think he’s had those paint swatches up
on his house?
I don't know.
Does it really matter?
Just wondering if he's ever going to
paint the damn thing.
Well, I don't know if you realize, but we actually
have a lot of paintwork to do on our own house, so.
Well, we just moved in.
You'd think he'd try to do a little bit better.
Well, we can't all write award winning films
like you Al.
It's a shame.
Hey, you two.
Geez...
Hey, Mark.
Hi.
How are you enjoying your new home?
-Yeah, it’s, -Oh, yeah,
We, We love it.
It's great.
We were just discussing
how pleasant it is to
have you as our neighbor.
Wonderful.
So nice to have you
as my new neighbors.
Oh, well, we just love being your neighbors.
Ever since Mary passed.
Well, it's just nice to have life next door.
It's just nice
to be alive.
Well, we don't want to be late for the opera
We'll see you soon.
Okay.
Bye, bye.
Albie!
Do you think he heard
what you said?
I don't know.
He’s such a freaking weirdo.
Albie.
He's still waving
Geez.
Longest party line ever,
or what?
I was on the phone with my mom for your information.
Oh, yeah?
And what makes you so happy about that?
She said we can just pick the kids up in the morning,
if we want.
Slap me.
I must be dreaming.
You are not.
That means...
no little brats
climbing into our bed in the middle of the night?
Little brats that you love.
Wait.
So...
What can we possibly do
with the house all alone
to ourselves for the rest
of the night?
Well, I was thinking
maybe we could have a couple drinks and
then you could finish what you started in
the dining room earlier.
Who are you and what have you done with my wife?
I can just call my mom and tell her--
No, no, no, no, no.
I like the other idea better.
Well, let's go.
Giddy up, cowboy.
I'm gettin’.
And you better make it good.
You know I will.
Good old Hollywood...
I love spending my days
staring at brake lights.
Livin’ the dream.
Well hey...
At least you’re looking
at the bright side.
Oh, really?
Couldn’t detect the hint
of sarcasm there?
No, like you're actually
looking at the bright side.
Brake lights,
bright side...
Thank you.
I’ll be here all week.
It was three years ago.
Are you writing out loud again?
The award you were talking about earlier.
There hasn't really been anything successful since.
Who knows what's gonna happen with the agency
if this one doesn't land...
We might as well just pack up and move
back to Idaho now.
And what?
Take over your dad's garage when he retires?
Yeah, with all of my mechanic skills.
You’re gonna be just fine.
Besides, you can't give up.
We still have to fulfill our dream of you
writing and me starring in an Oscar winning film together.
That’s still the dream, huh?
Why not?
I'm not gonna be a stay- at-home mom forever.
Don't worry.
I know you.
Some weird little thing is
gonna happen to you tonight,
and then you're gonna to get this big idea
and it’s gonna be like
the best thing ever
in your script.
Well, I’m waiting with open arms for that
weird little thing.
What are you thinking about?
Do you think we should just--
[Tire popping]
Holy shit!
Oh my God!
Pull over!
Okay.
Okay, I am.
I don't think you have it on all the way again.
Look,
I got it, okay?
Here, just let me help.
I said I got it, okay?
Why are you always hovering over me?
Because I've been standing here for an hour watching
you try to do something that anyone can do
in 20 minutes.
[wrench hitting ground]
You know everything?
You do it, then.
There.
[dress ripping]
You gotta be kidding me.
We were here earlier.
I know.
I feel like we’ve been here for the past year.
That's what tonight was supposed to fix though,
right?
No, I mean, me and the kids.
We came here earlier.
They wanted to play
after Emma’s recital.
Shit...
Her ballet recital was tonight.
It was.
I don't know how I keep
letting this happen.
Well...
If you’d answered the phone after the three
times I called you,
I could have reminded you.
Again.
I wanna do better
for us.
You should have seen her.
She was so...
beautiful.
I should have.
I'm sorry.
We can't catch a break, can we?
What were you
gonna say earlier?
When?
Right before the tire popped,
you were gonna say something.
Doesn't matter.
We should get going, though.
Yeah, you're right.
I don't suppose you're still in the mood?
For a bath and bed...
hell yeah, I am.
Can I...
at least help you with your bath?
Maybe next time.
Yeah...
Hi.
Can I help you folks?
Jiminy!
You folks sure look like
you could use some help.
Hunny!
Uh no. Can we help you?
You're in our house.
Yeah, what the hell
are you doing?
Get out!
Yes, Hunny?
Uh Hunny, these folks seem
like they could use our help,
and they seem a bit confused.
No, we're not confused.
You're in our house and we want you out now!
Hold on now.
It...
Hold on now.
I'm sure we can get all of this settled.
You just need to calm down a bit.
Now, why don't you come in
-and we can -Are you okay?
talk about this?
Yeah, come on in.
Just a bit too much to
-drink tonight. -Can we get
you a glass of water
or something?
No!
No! We don't need your help!
We need you out of
our house right now!
Or else you and I are gonna
have major problems!
Albie, hold on a minute.
Hunny, you think maybe
we should call this in?
Listen, partner.
I'm sure we can settle this.
You just need to help us.
Why don't you come in
and we can talk about it?
I'm not your partner,
asshole!
Albie!
I really do think it's time to call this in.
What is going on out here?
There's people in our house.
Mark?
Mark?!
That's it.
I'm calling the cops.
Be my guest partner,
if it makes you feel better.
[phone ringing...]
[dispatcher speaking...]
Hi.
[dispatcher speaking...]
Yes.
There are people in our house
and they won't leave.
[dispatcher speaking...]
Yes.
[dispatcher speaking...]
No, not really.
[dispatcher speaking...]
Nothing physical.
[dispatcher speaking...]
Yes.
2210 Lincoln.
[dispatcher speaking...]
Hold?!
[dispatcher speaking...]
How about you just send
a unit down here?!
[dispatcher speaking...]
Okay! Okay!
Just!
Just hurry!
[phone ringing...]
Yes?
[dispatcher speaking...]
No, everything's under control.
[dispatcher speaking...]
Thanks.
[dispatcher speaking...]
Yes?
[dispatcher speaking...]
What?!
[dispatcher speaking...]
Yes, you will!
[dispatcher speaking...]
We need these people
out of our house and--
[phone clicking]
Hey?!
Hel--
Hello?
What?
Hel--
What happened?
What did they say?
I don't know what's going on,
but if you think you can just--
Hunny.
Don’t move.
Albie.
Hunny.
Both of you.
I can't have you
assaulting me again.
I don't think
your cops are coming tonight.
So why don't you come in
and we can work this whole thing out?
Albie, please.
Don't do anything stupid.
I’d listen to her.
She's making a lot of sense.
What the hell do you people want?
We just want to work this out.
You won't get away with this.
Okay.
Seriously,
what the hell was that?
I don't know.
I've never had a gun pointed at me before.
You okay?
Yeah,
I am.
What the hell was up with Mark?
That asshole acted like
he'd never seen me before.
That was so weird.
Maybe he heard you
talking about him earlier.
Really?
He got that butthurt over that?
I'm just gonna call again.
Maybe I'll get someone else.
I doubt it.
Look what happened earlier.
I'm gonna try.
Hi.
Earlier, there were people in our house and I think
they're still there.
We just want to--
[dispatcher speaking...]
2210 East Linc--
[dispatcher speaking...]
Hello?
[phone clicking]
No.
Hello?
I can hear you!
[phone clicking]
Shit!
Okay, look,
let's just try to calm down
and
we can figure something out,
okay?
How can I?!
Just try!
I’m trying.
Seriously, though,
what are we gonna do?
Okay, look.
There's at least one neighbor that we know we can rely on.
Oh no.
One neighbor you can rely on.
It's like 11 o’clock.
She's not even gonna want us there anyway.
She said herself.
Come over and hang out whenever you want,
now that we live in the same neighborhood.
I'm positive
that invite wasn't for me.
Okay, well,
I think she's gonna
understand, given the current circumstance.
Albie, come on.
I don't... It’s late.
I don't want to be out here like this right now.
Fine.
But one stupid comment from her and I'm out of there.
Fine.
Just see how it goes.
Okay.
Thanks so much.
Bye.
The witch is still accepting victims at this hour?
Would you stop it?
She's coming to the door right now.
Don't screw this up.
What?...
You can’t tell me that it’s not weird that
she’s up right now,
let alone coming to the door.
Shhh.
Come on.
Okay, maybe just a little.
Penny,
did you finally remember that we're neighbors?
Come on in.
We've only been here two weeks, Kimmy.
Two weeks is too long for not visiting your sister.
Albie,
it is very nice to see you.
It's nice to see you, too.
We were just saying how surprised we are that...
surprised and thankful we are that you were up
and so gracious to...
let us in.
Oh.
I suppose I like to stay up a little later these days.
Well, tell me all about
your problem.
I love a good drama.
I'll get the drinks.
Thanks Kimmy.
You're the best.
Don't mention it.
So, rather than watching Albie get shot in the head,
I thought it best that we get out of the situation
as quickly as possible.
And long story short,
I thought
we could come here,
figure it out,
and maybe, uh...
maybe stay the night.
And, what do you intend
to do after that?
Well, I thought we could go to the city in the morning
and maybe talk to someone who isn’t in on whatever
the hell is going on over there.
Go to the city, you say?
Yeah.
So what do you say?
Can we stay?
I think...
no.
Come on, Kimmy.
It's just for one night.
I don't say it out of meanness.
I say it in order to help you both.
Truly.
Well, if you really wanted to help us, you'd let us stay.
Please.
Think about it.
What could these people possibly want with your house?
They'd have to know that you’d come back with evidence
of owning the property,
and that they'd end up in jail.
It's obvious.
They don't want your house.
They want
something inside of it.
They take it and then,
bam!
They’re gone to Mexico.
Can you think of anything they might be after?
Something valuable?
I don't know.
Maybe a few pieces of jewelry.
Are you sure?
Yeah, pretty sure.
Well, either way, I think you should go back and find out.
There's only one way to beat a crooked cop,
and that's with evidence.
And how are we supposed
to get evidence?
Easy.
Hideaway somewhere and video them.
We shouldn’t go back over there tonight.
It'll just result in another dangerous confrontation.
If they end up finding you,
just play the desperate card.
Tell them that you'll give them whatever it is that they want.
Just be sure you're
recording the conversation.
Then all the power's yours.
I, I like it.
I don’t know.
You’ll have to be very convincing.
Use those amazing
acting skills of yours.
Afterwards, you'll have everything you need
to press heavy charges.
I’m in.
Let's go Penny.
Otherwise, who knows what they're getting away with
over there.
She's right.
It may already be too late
Pen, come on. Let’s go.
No communication
or even coming into contact with them
until we have evidence of them stealing.
All right, let's go.
Let me know how it goes.
You know, I don’t care
what they say about you.
I've always known you have a great head on
your shoulders.
Remember,
play the desperate card.
Yeah.
What do you suppose has gotten into her?
I don't know.
Maybe she’s been lonely
since the divorce.
Yeah.
Maybe you're right.
Good call on going to her house.
I think it was a good chance to clear our heads and
make a strong decision.
Yeah.
So...
what’s the plan?
What's the plan?
Why are you asking me?
You’re so eager, you tell me what the plan is.
Okay.
So, you said we should make sure to stay out of sight
until we get evidence of them stealing, right?
Yes.
So, then,
we'll need to sneak up on them.
Genius.
We're saved.
You're not helping.
Okay, please continue.
So, the solution is simple.
We go through the backyard
and then straight in the back door.
It'll for sure work.
We’ll totally be able to sneak up on those assholes.
It's perfect, right?
I don't like it.
You want us to go inside the house, while those
weirdos are in there?
Can’t we just wait outside, catch them while they're
walking out with whatever it is they're gonna take?
No, we can't wait outside.
We need to get close.
Take action.
It's our house, our stuff.
It's impossible to try to get through to you.
None of that matters if you're shot dead.
He's a cop.
You really think he'll shoot us?
I don't think so.
You know what happens to cops in prison?
Excuse me for not being convinced
that a criminal cop won't shoot us.
You really don't wanna go back?
Not right now, I don’t.
Do you realize what's most likely happening to our
home and everything in it right now?
I do, but the f...
The fight isn't worth
what might happen.
You don't even care.
It wasn't you who bought
the house and everything in it.
You know what?
When we get there, just do whatever you want.
I won't be a part of it.
You can go to jail
for all I care.
Okay.
Sorry.
This isn't helping at all,
right now.
No, it's not.
How’s this?
We try my plan
and if...
and if for some reason it doesn't work,
we can play the desperate card like Kim suggested.
It'll be perfect.
What do you say?
Fine.
But if at any moment I feel like we need to leave,
we are leaving.
No questions asked.
It's gonna work.
Let’s just get it over with.
You ready?
I guess so.
Hey.
Don’t worry so much.
We’ll be fine.
If we’re gonna do this, let’s go
Okay.
Looks clear.
Let's go.
This way.
Shhh.
What are we doing back here?
We’ll go over the wall.
They’ll never see us coming this way.
Whatever.
Okay.
Who goes first?
This is your idea.
You’re going first.
Okay, but...
how can I help you over
if I go over first?
I can get over myself,
thanks.
Okay, it’s settled.
I'll go over first.
Stop stalling.
I’m not stalling.
Go.
What are you doing?
Helping you down.
Okay, I’m just gonna help you down.
[chickens clucking]
Shhh.
[chickens clucking]
You just had to have these stupid chickens.
What?
Shhh.
Don’t blame the chickens.
[chickens clucking]
Those stupid things.
Just gave us away.
Let’s just keep going.
Come on.
Shhh.
Go.
Come on.
[gate opening]
You get your fire pit
and I get my chicken coop.
Don't be mad at me cause your project’s
still just a pile of old bricks.
You try digging out a fire pit
on top of working ten hour days.
You try building a chicken coop with two small children
hanging on you all day.
The coast is clear.
Let's move.
Wait here.
What?
Wait here.
Albie?
Hey.
Hey!
[shovel hitting floor]
Shit.
Albie, what are you doing?
Albie?!
Shit.
What are you doing?
Why do you have that?
Just in case.
She was right.
Time to catch them in the middle of it.
Let’s go.
Okay, yeah.
But you're not
taking that in there.
But it’s for--
Albie,
leave it.
It’s a--
Leave it!
Fine.
Start recording.
Okay.
Shhh.
It was the woman.
She didn’t see me.
I think they’re in the bedroom.
They’re probably going for the jewelry.
I’m still recording.
Now is as good a time as any, right?
[Loud noises...]
What’s that?
I don’t know.
[Loud noises...]
Maybe they’re breaking into your safe.
Shit.
Move!
Hey, partner.
You look like
you could use a drink.
Help!
Don't struggle.
You won't break free.
Any attempt to do so will be futile.
Albie!
Help...
You can continue to scream.
No one can hear you down here.
And it's highly unlikely anyone in close proximity
will be willing to assist you.
Please, let me go.
We’ll give you whatever you want.
You can have your freedom
as soon as we find what we're looking for.
Now, does the male have the only access
to the collective intelligence?
Just ask for whatever it is you want and just leave us alone.
Answer the question
and you'll be set free.
The question?
I don't know what the question is.
The collective intelligence.
I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Come now.
You're not the first laborers
we've intercepted.
What is the primary method for communicating directives
within the Central Intelligence Network?
Spies?
You have the wrong people.
We’re not spies.
Do not attempt to deceive us.
We will not be easily misled.
I swear you have the wrong people.
Please.
If you do not want to cooperate, you will
suffer until you are willing to do so.
Oh my God.
Please stop.
When the pain subsides,
we can start again.
Please, stop.
The suffering will end,
if you tell me what I want to know
I wanna help you.
Please.
There, now that's progress.
Is the access point here in this room?
How is the
connection established?
I don’t know.
Please stop.
I don’t know what you want.
I can’t help you.
Please.
We'll see.
Hey.
You're looking pretty messy there, partner.
Let me help you.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
You’re gonna need to calm down,
before we can get anywhere productive.
And a...
I'm sorry about the blunt force earlier.
It's just you
so love to stand in the way of what's best for you.
And we wanted to put all that behind
us as fast as we could.
You really need to calm yourself,
if we're going to proceed with this inquiry.
Okay, then
There...
You’re starting to calm now.
Let's begin.
Now we can begin.
You,
you son-of-a-bitch.
I'll kill you.
Kill?
Me?
If you're saying
what I think you're saying.
That's an interesting notion,
considering
the position you're in.
You’re not gonna get away with this.
I bet someone's looking for you right now.
When they catch you,
I'm gonna be there to watch you burn.
I don't believe you're going to be around long enough
to watch much of anything.
And nobody's coming for us.
We don't even exist.
Now, let's begin,
huh?
Screw you!
Another interesting notion
and a surprising proposal
coming from you.
Uh...
No, I don't think I will.
You should just kill me now.
Once I get out of this,
I'm seriously
gonna rip you apart.
Why would I want to kill you?
I haven't gotten any
information from you yet.
Information?
You’re not getting shit from me!
Oh.
I believe I will
with a...
a little persuasion.
Now,
I want you to tell me
how you access the collective intelligence.
This could all be so quick
and simple, and then I could let
you free.
Let's make a deal, you and I.
You tell me what I want to know,
and in return, I will grant you
whatever your heart desires.
I don't want
anything from you, asshole!
But...
you're a failure.
Everything in your life
is a failure.
I could free you
from that failure.
You don't know me.
Your union with your wife
is in its last days.
Maybe I should offer her a deal.
I'm certain
I could please her in ways
that you never could.
And then we wouldn't need you anymore.
You’d be discarded.
and she could live her life with all the pleasures
of her heart.
I swear to God.
If you touch her at all, I will fucking kill you!
Again,
I've failed to communicate
that you are in no position to make demands or threats.
I...
I need to work on my communication skills.
You resort to aggression
so quickly,
but
aggression never seems to go very far with you.
[glass breaking]
Hello there, friend.
I think you and I are going to have a
much more productive time than I had with your man.
Yes.
very productive indeed.
Please don't.
Albie!
Shhh.
Shhhhhh.
Calm down.
You want this to be as pleasurable as it can be,
don’t you?
You don't want to go back to the methods
my colleague was using, do you?
There.
We’re not who you think we are.
We just moved in.
You're probably mixing us up with whoever
it was who lived here before us.
No,
that’s definitely not the case.
Well, how could you be sure?
I know
Because we're the ones who were here before you.
We've been here
a very long time.
Please, just let me go.
We can’t help you with whatever it is you want.
I promise we’ll just leave.
No.
We can’t be doing that, can we?
Tell me what you want me to do to you.
What just?
Nothing?
Huh
Pity.
You gonna try to kill me, too?
That depends.
Are you going to be cooperative?
You should have just let him finish the job.
I'm aware you can be very stubborn.
I can be very persuasive.
Good for you.
Are you going to be cooperative?
Depends.
Are you and your weird little friend
going to crawl into a hole somewhere and die?
To answer your question,
I don't think we will.
Tell me, how do we access
the collective intelligence?
We can do whatever you want,
as long as you tell me what I need to know.
I don't know what you want.
Maybe we can loosen up a bit
and then something
will come to you.
What are you doing?
Get off of me.
Get off of me!
Confirm for me.
Is the access point here in this house?
Confirm.
The collective has not yet achieved telepathic ability,
correct?
My wife, where's my wife?
Where's Penny?
There's no need to concern yourself with her right now.
Besides, what she doesn't know won't hurt her.
That is how the saying goes,
correct?
I can make you squeal,
so you might as well just tell me what I need to know.
Will you just stop!
Just stop!
I haven't had children.
I know that's what you prefer.
No.
No, that’s not true.
Then what is true?
[noises upstairs...]
[noises outside the room]
[loud noises...]
[noises upstairs...]
[glass breaking]
[knocking on the door]
Hello down there.
I was hoping we could have a talk, you and I.
Now, between you and me,
we both know that things aren’t going that well for
Mr. Albie.
What do you mean?
Well,
he's been a little stressed out
about his status in his current occupation, you know,
and if that status were to continue
to drop in his position the way it has been.
Well,
you all could lose your standard of living.
No more nice things.
Jewelry, nice dresses,
no more.
But,
we can help.
We can see to it that you don't need
Albie's employment to maintain your lifestyle.
We can see to it that you can stand
on your own.
You can go back to that entertainment work
you're so good at,
and we can see to it
that you are offered all the most desirable
opportunities your industry has to offer.
The nice things stay
and more to come.
And all you have to do is help us.
Tell me,
where is your access point
to the collective intelligence?
Well?
[door opening...]
Hi, Albie.
After some deliberation,
we've decided we want to help you.
Help me?
Yes.
We know that your recent entertainment endeavors
have been less than successful.
We also know that it is not your skills
or expertise that are holding you back.
No,
it is those in power in your industry.
That’s where me and my colleagues come in.
We are very well connected, you see,
and we can make things happen.
We control a great many things,
Mr. Albie Jones.
Where is your access point for the collective intelligence?
Oh.
Oh, you're bleeding.
Oh, no, no, no.
It’s just...
It's from my head earlier.
-I’m fine. -No, it seems
to be coming
-from your arm -No, no I’m
fine.
I'm fine.
Turn and let me see so I can render aid.
Seriously.
I'm fine.
Oh no, you seem to have cut yourself on this broken glass.
Think about it.
Your name will be known around the world.
You can have
fame, fortune,
anything you've ever dreamed of.
You could have anything
or anyone you could ever want.
You could have a woman who
appreciates you and
everything you are.
So all I have to do is tell you where
the intelligence access is?
And then you'll
make me successful,
and you and I will um...
you know, have some fun?
If that's what you would like?
Deal.
I knew you'd be reasonable.
Yeah.
You know, normally
when I do this type of thing,
I like to start untied.
No.
You will tell me how to access
the collective intelligence, and then we'll continue
with the rest of our deal.
Fine.
I'll tell you where to find the access point.
You have to go and and get the device,
and...
I can tell you how to operate it.
Where's the device?
Um...
Outside by the driveway next to the house.
You’ll see a large metal enclosure.
Remove the outside of the enclosure
and look in there.
You’ll find what you're looking for.
In your air control unit?
Yes.
We've never seen you access this unit in our
rigorous observation of your family.
I assure you,
it's there.
I wasn’t gonna do anything.
I swear.
It was just an accident, okay.
I’m sorry.
Please.
I'm sorry.
Oh, no apologies are necessary.
It was entirely my oversight.
I'll just need to make certain
it can never happen again.
[glass breaking]
Looks like you could use a drink, partner.
Albie.
Are you okay?
You okay?
Yeah, are you?
Did he hurt you?
He didn't, but he...
But he what?
It doesn’t matter.
I’m just glad you're okay.
Where's the woman?
She's probably outside at the AC unit looking for
whatever the hell it is they're looking for.
What?
Nevermind.
We have to get out of here
right now.
Not before this asshole
gets what's coming to him.
What?
You heard me.
He tried to kill me.
Albie, stop!
Albie, wait.
Albie!
What?
Don’t do this.
For once in your life,
listen!
Stop!
No, you stop!
You just stand back and do nothing,
like usual.
What?
Can't you see,
we should have just stayed at Kimmy's?
None of this would have happened if you had just listened.
They would have taken whatever it was that
they wanted and left.
But you don't ever listen, do you?
Let's go.
Someone's got to put an end
to this situation.
You're always holding me back.
Not anymore.
You know what?
Do whatever you want.
I won't be a part of it.
First thing you said in years
that's made me happy.
You should get a lawyer.
Yeah, hardly.
They're the ones who attacked us
in our own home.
No, I don't mean for them,
Albie.
We’ve put this off for too long.
Fine.
You think that upsets me or something?
I have bigger concerns
right now.
You are a pathetic human being.
I wasted my life on you.
Wasted your life?
You have no life!
You're just dead weight leeching off of mine!
I'm going in the bedroom and locking the door.
Don't try to come in.
I don't give a shit
what you do!
Self-defense.
Don't worry.
They don't even exist.
There’s a nice spot next to him,
if that crazy bitch ever
comes back.
Kimmy?
Albie?!
Don't waste your breath.
Albie, come here right now.
I said don't waste your breath--
She’s back.
They’re all back.
What?
Came back to end up like your friend?
Kimmy, this is the one we were talking about earlier.
Mark, you were here.
Sit down.
What?!
Wait a minute.
We're not doing anything--
If you don't sit down now, my associate here
will use her interrogation methods on you again.
Perhaps she can ramp up
the intensity this time.
Your associate?
Yes, my associate.
Now, sit.
Both of you.
You're gonna be sorry.
Kimmy, what is this?
There is no Kimmy
anymore.
What are you talking about?
[door opening]
[door closing]
Here he comes.
Here who comes?
Shut up.
I’m getting so sick of your--
Boo!
[footsteps...]
Why do they always act like they don't know
how much stronger we are than them?
[footsteps...]
I swear to God, you're gonna end up just
like your friend out back bitch.
[footsteps...]
You mean me, partner?
Oh, Albie, what's the matter?
You look like you've
just seen a ghost.
You're
dead.
Your force can’t kill me
human.
What the hell, man?
Third one.
The human lights, please?
My filters are destroyed.
Oh, yes.
Yeah.
Much better.
Thank you.
What?
What are you?
We are what you humans
refer to as aliens.
But soon you will
revere us as gods.
And you creatures will be our humble subordinates
benefiting from our noble presence.
It's not easy finding
an inhabitable world with a secondary species like
yours just waiting to be conquered.
Yeah, believe me.
If you knew of all the shitty galaxies we
had to pass through to get here,
even you'd feel sorry for us.
So try not to waste our time, okay?
Well,
say something.
Kimmy, I don’t know what the hell is going on right now.
You're not a part of this.
Just tell them to let us go.
We told you already
Your Kimmy doesn't exist.
I've assumed her physical appearance.
You're Kimmy,
no more.
Half of your neighborhood,
no more.
Your city's law enforcement.
no more.
Geez.
What does it take to get through to you people?
Let me know, okay, so we can get this all over with.
and take off these ugly masks.
Hey, speak for yourself.
I don’t look so bad.
You
tell us
how to access the collective intelligence
so we can tap into the hive
mind of your little species.
Take control.
Then we all live happily ever after
without having to start a war.
Sound like a plan?
What an honor
it must be for you creatures to aid in rebuilding this
world for beings like us.
So tell us how to tap into the hive mind and we won’t kill you.
How's that for a deal?
Fat chance you're gonna get them to talk.
The two of you have been with them all night.
and caused nothing but trouble.
Hey, now, we were doing all right before you sent
them back to us.
We wanted to find the access without confrontation.
Watch your tone with your superior.
I sent these dumb chips over here to you,
wrapped in a bow,
primed for interrogation.
And what did you do with my gift?
You were beaten and buried
by a human.
Yeah, laugh it up.
Oh, yes.
Indeed.
Tell us how to
access the hive.
I can't believe this is happening.
Believe it.
Just wait until our leaders find out that you're here.
What do you think they're going to do to you,
if all it took from me was a little bottle of scotch
Your leaders
coming together to save your world.
Since when?
No.
There seems to be a fundamental flaw
in your species
collective brain.
Preservation of the world is not something
that you do.
Quite the opposite.
Which is interesting because you lack the
intelligence to go anywhere else.
Your species should be grateful to ours.
Come now.
Give us access.
Make it easier on yourselves.
I couldn’t write this shit.
You.
You're the more reasonable one.
Tell us what we need to know
for the benefit of all.
You leave me no choice.
Fourth one.
Take the useless one,
assume his flesh,
and discard his bones with the others.
Yes, first one.
What are you gonna do?
Keep your hands off me!
Walk.
No!
Wait.
Albie,
are you a man?
Run!
Albie.
Albie...
Where are you?
I’m coming for you.
Albie.
Albie!
Albie...
[Kimmy laughing...]
Funny you decided to run here.
Just think.
Soon,
you're gonna be just like the rest of your neighbors.
One last chance.
Heed the warnings called out by the bones of your people.
Tell us how to access the hive.
We can promise you and your family
the highest level of living.
Your status amongst the humans
will be second to none.
Just tell us how to
access the hive mind.
You need to understand,
I can't help you!
There is no hive mind!
Typical.
Probe him.
I already have many times.
There's nothing there.
All mush.
Just like the others.
Try again.
You know what to do.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Please, you gotta believe me.
There is no hive.
We're not stupid.
We can work something out.
I'm sure there's something
else we can do.
Please.
And you were such a tough guy before.
Fickle, these creatures.
You know, judging by this one,
I'm beginning to think these humans aren't lying.
All this time, we thought they were like bees.
I'm starting to think they're more like flies.
All attracted to the same smelly shit.
Make it quick.
We still have much work to do.
You're really not
going to like this, partner.
No, no, no!
Wait, wait, wait!
Please, please!
[door opening...]
[footsteps...]
You got away?
Where are they?
They're gone.
Don't worry about them.
Really?
Yes.
We gotta hurry.
Pen.
I'm sorry
for it all.
Okay.
Not right now.
Help me out here.
I'm serious this time.
I wanna do better
for you.
For us.
Okay.
Can you come and untie me?
We have to get out of here.
Relax.
It's all under control.
I'm gonna take care of you now.
Okay?
I promise.
Hey, partner.
Did you guys have fun?
Yeah!
They were little angels,
as always.
Did you guys enjoy your night?
Oh, Mom.
It was out of this world.