WEBVTT FILE 1 00:00:02.000 --> 00:00:07.000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08.000 --> 00:00:13.000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:40.457 --> 00:00:44.586 Sid: This is a story of life and death. 4 00:00:44.586 --> 00:00:46.547 Specifically, one life and one death. 5 00:00:48.924 --> 00:00:52.344 More specifically, mine. 6 00:00:58.934 --> 00:01:01.728 My name is Sid Sandagger, and I have figured out 7 00:01:01.728 --> 00:01:03.939 the key to a long and happy life. 8 00:01:03.939 --> 00:01:09.319 It's quite simple. Don't mess with the system. Think about it. 9 00:01:09.319 --> 00:01:12.155 Every awful thing that happens to someone in their life, 10 00:01:12.155 --> 00:01:14.575 it can be chalked up to them ripping at the fabric 11 00:01:14.575 --> 00:01:17.953 of the social continuum. So don't. 12 00:01:17.953 --> 00:01:19.663 There's a natural order to things in life, 13 00:01:19.663 --> 00:01:21.248 and it is not to be reckoned with. 14 00:01:21.248 --> 00:01:23.000 And nowhere is that more important 15 00:01:23.000 --> 00:01:26.128 than the one environment more strict, 16 00:01:26.128 --> 00:01:28.589 more brutal, and more savage 17 00:01:28.589 --> 00:01:31.592 than all of the rest-- high school. 18 00:01:31.592 --> 00:01:35.929 Luckily, I've developed three simple rules to ensure survival. 19 00:01:35.929 --> 00:01:40.058 Rule number one? Shut up. 20 00:01:40.058 --> 00:01:41.393 Most people don't get beaten up 21 00:01:41.393 --> 00:01:43.437 for what they don't say. 22 00:01:43.437 --> 00:01:48.358 Rule number two, don't stand out. 23 00:01:48.358 --> 00:01:52.613 This applies to everything, from what you wear, to who your friends are, 24 00:01:52.613 --> 00:01:55.282 to what extra-curriculars you're a part of. 25 00:01:55.282 --> 00:01:59.369 I have mastered the art of the nondescript extra-curricular. 26 00:01:59.369 --> 00:02:01.997 For example, I'm comptroller 27 00:02:01.997 --> 00:02:04.082 for the Eastland High student council, 28 00:02:04.082 --> 00:02:07.461 understudy for the school play... 29 00:02:07.461 --> 00:02:10.339 ♪ You make me alive ♪ 30 00:02:10.339 --> 00:02:13.217 ...equipment manager for the hockey team... 31 00:02:13.217 --> 00:02:15.219 Hey, yo. Incoming! 32 00:02:15.219 --> 00:02:18.639 ...and starter for the Eastland e-sports team. 33 00:02:18.639 --> 00:02:21.141 E-sports, need I say more? 34 00:02:21.141 --> 00:02:24.978 Midnight tonight, boys. You excited, Cunningham? 35 00:02:24.978 --> 00:02:27.856 I hacked into my parents' internet account to upgrade our speed. 36 00:02:27.856 --> 00:02:31.777 - Sweet. - Also, I think my parents are getting divorced. 37 00:02:35.822 --> 00:02:41.453 And finally, the third and most important rule. 38 00:02:41.453 --> 00:02:45.457 Don't fuck with Chuck. 39 00:02:45.457 --> 00:02:48.460 Chuck Brawnte, him and his stupid friends 40 00:02:48.460 --> 00:02:51.046 have a few thousand subscribers to their YouTube channel, 41 00:02:51.046 --> 00:02:53.465 which, believe it or not, people actually give a shit about. 42 00:02:53.465 --> 00:02:55.467 Whoo! Fuck you, window! 43 00:02:55.467 --> 00:02:57.803 But the real reason everybody knows who Chuck Brawnte is... 44 00:02:57.803 --> 00:03:00.472 - Are you boys okay over here? - Pussy bitch! 45 00:03:00.472 --> 00:03:02.641 ...is because he is super violent. 46 00:03:02.641 --> 00:03:04.518 - Come on. Let's go, let's go, let's go. - Here's the big one. 47 00:03:04.518 --> 00:03:06.436 Chuck got kicked out of his old school 48 00:03:06.436 --> 00:03:09.314 for beating a freshmen nearly to death. 49 00:03:09.314 --> 00:03:11.859 The kid is still in a coma. Now I'm not a lawyer, 50 00:03:11.859 --> 00:03:14.027 but allow me to present these three facts. 51 00:03:14.027 --> 00:03:18.824 One, Chuck got off with a few hours of community service. 52 00:03:18.824 --> 00:03:21.076 Two, Chuck's dad is super rich 53 00:03:21.076 --> 00:03:24.288 because he owns all the Mercedes dealerships in upstate New York. 54 00:03:24.288 --> 00:03:27.499 And three, the judge hearing Chuck's case 55 00:03:27.499 --> 00:03:30.085 now drives a top of the line Mercedes Benz. 56 00:03:30.085 --> 00:03:32.212 Get the picture? 57 00:03:41.138 --> 00:03:42.139 Fuh... 58 00:03:42.139 --> 00:03:43.932 Well, there you have it, 59 00:03:43.932 --> 00:03:48.520 Sid Sandagger's Guide to Life. 60 00:03:49.688 --> 00:03:51.231 ♪ But I could care less ♪ 61 00:03:51.231 --> 00:03:53.901 ♪ What's on your mind ♪ 62 00:03:53.901 --> 00:03:56.320 ♪ You say something nice ♪ 63 00:03:56.320 --> 00:03:59.323 ♪ You say something right ♪ 64 00:03:59.323 --> 00:04:02.117 ♪ And people start losing their mind ♪ 65 00:04:02.117 --> 00:04:04.119 ♪ Thursdays on my mind ♪ 66 00:04:04.119 --> 00:04:06.538 ♪ We were driving through red lights ♪ 67 00:04:06.538 --> 00:04:09.333 ♪ We were flying ♪ 68 00:04:09.333 --> 00:04:12.628 ♪ But I could care less what's on your mind ♪ 69 00:04:12.628 --> 00:04:17.508 - I'm putting Todd at your parents' table. - Oh, he gives my dad anxiety. 70 00:04:17.508 --> 00:04:19.760 And your dad's a Republican, and you're marrying a woman, 71 00:04:19.760 --> 00:04:23.096 - so already kinda anxious. - Fair point. 72 00:04:23.096 --> 00:04:25.098 - Hey! - Hey. 73 00:04:27.434 --> 00:04:32.272 How was school? 74 00:04:32.272 --> 00:04:35.943 To me that said, "Fuck off, Moms, but I love you." 75 00:04:35.943 --> 00:04:40.447 - No. - If he was half-Korean, this would not be happening. 76 00:04:40.447 --> 00:04:45.035 Sid: School was great. I woke up, I went to class, and then I came home. 77 00:04:45.035 --> 00:04:46.537 It was perfectly predictable, 78 00:04:46.537 --> 00:04:49.164 which is perfectly acceptable. 79 00:04:49.164 --> 00:04:51.583 As long as I stick to my rules, 80 00:04:51.583 --> 00:04:53.168 much like my internet search history, 81 00:04:53.168 --> 00:04:54.586 high school will be a filthy, 82 00:04:54.586 --> 00:04:57.464 nasty, amoral blip on my radar 83 00:04:57.464 --> 00:05:01.593 that someday will never have even happened. 84 00:05:01.593 --> 00:05:04.388 Life is about embracing routine. 85 00:05:04.388 --> 00:05:06.014 - Oh. - Eat, sleep, play. 86 00:05:06.014 --> 00:05:07.724 It's gonna be a good night. 87 00:05:07.724 --> 00:05:10.102 That is, of course, except when a new edition 88 00:05:10.102 --> 00:05:12.354 of War Monger comes out. 89 00:05:12.354 --> 00:05:14.314 It's a sacred night. 90 00:05:14.314 --> 00:05:15.816 And on this night, 91 00:05:15.816 --> 00:05:17.609 you don't eat, you don't sleep, 92 00:05:17.609 --> 00:05:19.611 and you sit at your altar for hours on end 93 00:05:19.611 --> 00:05:21.196 just praying to stay alive. 94 00:05:23.824 --> 00:05:25.784 It's pure heaven. 95 00:05:30.831 --> 00:05:34.168 Then the semen travels through the vas deferens, 96 00:05:34.168 --> 00:05:37.421 out the urethra, and hopefully into the vagina 97 00:05:37.421 --> 00:05:39.423 of someone you're not just using for sex 98 00:05:39.423 --> 00:05:40.632 and that you're willing to stick around 99 00:05:40.632 --> 00:05:42.176 and raise the baby with. 100 00:05:44.011 --> 00:05:45.429 Or into an anus. 101 00:05:45.429 --> 00:05:47.014 Any questions? 102 00:05:47.014 --> 00:05:49.850 Oh, my God, dude. Sex Ed is such bullshit. 103 00:05:49.850 --> 00:05:51.226 Like, I don't understand 104 00:05:51.226 --> 00:05:53.020 why we spend so much time on condoms. 105 00:05:53.020 --> 00:05:55.022 What is there to know? You open the shit up, 106 00:05:55.022 --> 00:05:56.273 you stick your junk in it, and you go to town on somebody. 107 00:05:56.273 --> 00:05:57.900 Sid:My best friend Jim Vega. 108 00:05:57.900 --> 00:05:59.651 Jim cares about two things, 109 00:05:59.651 --> 00:06:01.862 getting laid and being popular, 110 00:06:01.862 --> 00:06:03.906 and so far he's achieved neither. 111 00:06:03.906 --> 00:06:05.657 Do they seriously think dudes are, like, 112 00:06:05.657 --> 00:06:07.784 sticking their balls in it or something? 113 00:06:07.784 --> 00:06:11.496 You'd be surprised. What do you want them to teach? 114 00:06:11.496 --> 00:06:13.040 - Like, I don't know. - Heads up! 115 00:06:13.040 --> 00:06:15.042 Why don't they teach us how to fuck awesome? 116 00:06:15.042 --> 00:06:17.878 'Cause it's Sex Ed. It's not sex class. 117 00:06:17.878 --> 00:06:20.088 Yeah, but what's the difference? And unlike trigonometry, 118 00:06:20.088 --> 00:06:22.674 this would be, like, practical, applicable knowledge. 119 00:06:22.674 --> 00:06:25.469 Just talk to the school board about it, man. 120 00:06:25.469 --> 00:06:28.472 - Wait, you-- you think so? - Yeah, why not? 121 00:06:28.472 --> 00:06:30.891 You go to the school board and you say, 122 00:06:30.891 --> 00:06:33.227 "Ladies and gentlemen, I would like my teachers 123 00:06:33.227 --> 00:06:35.354 - to teach me how to fuck awesome." - I'm serious. 124 00:06:35.354 --> 00:06:37.272 Like, how do you find the clitoris during over the pants sex stuff? 125 00:06:37.272 --> 00:06:40.692 Can you not say fucking "clitoris" in the hallway? 126 00:06:40.692 --> 00:06:42.861 You see, this is exactly what I'm talking about. 127 00:06:42.861 --> 00:06:45.906 Everyone is so horny that yelling "clit" in the hall 128 00:06:45.906 --> 00:06:47.783 is like yelling fire in a theater. 129 00:06:47.783 --> 00:06:50.244 Yeah, and you don't yell fire in a fucking theater. 130 00:06:50.244 --> 00:06:54.957 Regardless, the clitoris is at the top of the labia minora. 131 00:06:54.957 --> 00:06:57.501 That sophomore with the cleft lip? 132 00:06:57.501 --> 00:06:59.503 No, that's Lydia Mindlin. 133 00:06:59.503 --> 00:07:01.505 Yo, Rafi! What's up, man? 134 00:07:01.505 --> 00:07:02.840 - How you doing? How was that test? - Who are you? 135 00:07:02.840 --> 00:07:06.426 All right. Rafi's the best. 136 00:07:06.426 --> 00:07:08.929 - You really shouldn't do that. - Why? Rafi's my homie. 137 00:07:08.929 --> 00:07:10.722 Rafi's not your fucking homie. 138 00:07:10.722 --> 00:07:13.058 He just tolerates you because you let him cheat off you once. 139 00:07:13.058 --> 00:07:14.518 You're just jealous 'cause I'm popular. 140 00:07:14.518 --> 00:07:16.520 - You're not fucking popular, - Okay. 141 00:07:16.520 --> 00:07:18.188 - And that's a blessing. - Oh, come on. 142 00:07:18.188 --> 00:07:19.398 Don't start with your whole 143 00:07:19.398 --> 00:07:21.316 "don't mess with the system" bullshit. 144 00:07:21.316 --> 00:07:23.735 - You're just afraid to live a little. - I live. 145 00:07:23.735 --> 00:07:27.114 What do you call an all-nighter playing World Of-- 146 00:07:27.114 --> 00:07:30.117 Whoa-ly shit. Tiff Mann. 147 00:07:30.117 --> 00:07:33.120 I don't think I've talked to Tiff Mann since our figure skating recital 148 00:07:33.120 --> 00:07:35.247 when I was eight years old. 149 00:07:44.089 --> 00:07:45.924 I've been in love with her the entire time since, 150 00:07:45.924 --> 00:07:49.052 but it's clear that she didn't exactly 151 00:07:49.052 --> 00:07:51.388 see me as boyfriend material. 152 00:07:51.388 --> 00:07:53.515 I've told you, no sleepovers at boys' houses. 153 00:07:53.515 --> 00:07:56.143 But, Mom, it's just Sid's. 154 00:07:56.143 --> 00:07:57.477 Come to think of it, neither did her mom. 155 00:07:57.477 --> 00:08:00.731 Oh, that's fine. 156 00:08:00.731 --> 00:08:02.774 Even more fucked up than that, 157 00:08:02.774 --> 00:08:04.776 Tiff Mann is dating Chuck. 158 00:08:04.776 --> 00:08:07.988 Yo. 159 00:08:07.988 --> 00:08:09.198 Chuck: Wanna go to the parking lot right now? 160 00:08:09.198 --> 00:08:11.241 - How was class? - Sucks. 161 00:08:11.241 --> 00:08:13.410 Mr. Ramirez can literally lick my butthole. 162 00:08:13.410 --> 00:08:15.621 Suck a dick, Chuck. 163 00:08:15.621 --> 00:08:18.874 All right, class, let's go! 164 00:08:18.874 --> 00:08:22.294 - Two laps around the field! - Oh, my God. 165 00:08:22.294 --> 00:08:26.590 Dude, do you think Juliana Ulrich would be down for a finger in the butt? 166 00:08:26.590 --> 00:08:28.800 Teacher: Good speed! Keep it up! 167 00:08:28.800 --> 00:08:31.011 I really don't think girls are as into that as you think they are. 168 00:08:31.011 --> 00:08:32.971 Are you kidding me? It's a second G-spot. 169 00:08:32.971 --> 00:08:35.015 And I'm usually pretty good at telling who would be down. 170 00:08:35.015 --> 00:08:37.809 I'm like the Finger In The Butt Whisperer. 171 00:08:37.809 --> 00:08:40.020 You know who probably sticks a bunch of fingers in butts? 172 00:08:40.020 --> 00:08:42.856 - Teacher: Two more laps! - Chuck. Chuck is the man. 173 00:08:42.856 --> 00:08:44.733 Did you see his latest video? 174 00:08:44.733 --> 00:08:47.152 He totally wrecked Su-Ming Lee's car with a pogo stick. 175 00:08:47.152 --> 00:08:50.822 - Chuck's a fucking monster. - Jim, Jim! Hey. 176 00:08:50.822 --> 00:08:52.824 You haven't told me what color tie you're wearing to homecoming. 177 00:08:52.824 --> 00:08:54.409 That's 'cause I'm not going with you, Luna. 178 00:08:54.409 --> 00:08:56.620 Sid:Meet Luna Peralta. 179 00:08:56.620 --> 00:08:58.413 Luna and Jim have known each other since they were in diapers, 180 00:08:58.413 --> 00:09:00.624 and have hated each other just as long. 181 00:09:00.624 --> 00:09:02.251 Luna does not hold back. 182 00:09:02.251 --> 00:09:04.211 You think I wanna go with you? 183 00:09:04.211 --> 00:09:05.796 Here's a list of inanimate objects 184 00:09:05.796 --> 00:09:07.381 I would rather take to Homecoming than you, okay? 185 00:09:07.381 --> 00:09:09.633 Bleach, a bottle of urine, 186 00:09:09.633 --> 00:09:12.094 and rusty nails literally stuck in my hands. 187 00:09:12.094 --> 00:09:14.847 - Glad we're on the same page. - My crazy parents only want me to go with you 188 00:09:14.847 --> 00:09:16.723 'cause they know I'm not gonna come back pregnant. 189 00:09:16.723 --> 00:09:19.268 Great. Not happening. Leave me alone. I have herpes. 190 00:09:19.268 --> 00:09:21.854 You wish you had herpes. That would have to mean someone touched 191 00:09:21.854 --> 00:09:23.856 - your skinny little micro-penis. - It's not skinny. 192 00:09:23.856 --> 00:09:25.691 If anything, girth is my asset and length is my weakness. 193 00:09:25.691 --> 00:09:26.859 - Okay. - So fuck off. 194 00:09:26.859 --> 00:09:28.652 Buddy, nothing is your asset, 195 00:09:28.652 --> 00:09:30.863 and being a fuckwad is your weakness. 196 00:09:30.863 --> 00:09:32.656 Later, shrimp dick. 197 00:09:32.656 --> 00:09:34.074 - She is so mean. - I know. 198 00:09:34.074 --> 00:09:35.993 - Teacher: Sandagger, Vega! - I love it. 199 00:09:46.086 --> 00:09:50.799 - Oh, come on, babe. - Hey! Hold it. 200 00:09:50.799 --> 00:09:52.676 - What's up? - Oh. 201 00:09:52.676 --> 00:09:56.263 - Oh. You look awful. - I'm just tired. 202 00:09:56.263 --> 00:10:00.475 - We got an email. A parent-y email. - Yes. 203 00:10:00.475 --> 00:10:06.064 Uh, "Please ensure proper Homecoming attire," blah blah blah. 204 00:10:06.064 --> 00:10:10.611 Were you planning on wearing a very short skirt to this dance? 205 00:10:10.611 --> 00:10:13.071 Why is this the first time we're hearing about this Homecoming? 206 00:10:13.071 --> 00:10:16.533 - 'Cause I'm not going. - Why not? 207 00:10:16.533 --> 00:10:18.452 Homecoming is a very big deal. 208 00:10:18.452 --> 00:10:20.329 You get all dressed up, and you wait for some schnook 209 00:10:20.329 --> 00:10:22.289 to pick you up, and you dance at arm's length, 210 00:10:22.289 --> 00:10:24.249 and then you have a fleeting sexual encounter. 211 00:10:24.249 --> 00:10:27.336 - And then you realize that you're a lesbian. - Yes. 212 00:10:27.336 --> 00:10:28.921 Have you thought about that, Sid? 213 00:10:28.921 --> 00:10:30.881 You might be a lesbian and not even know it. 214 00:10:30.881 --> 00:10:33.383 - You do like Brandy Carlile. - And going to Maine. 215 00:10:33.383 --> 00:10:36.595 - Mm, the signs are all there. - Come on. 216 00:10:36.595 --> 00:10:38.889 Why aren't you going? 217 00:10:40.474 --> 00:10:43.227 That was a pretty compelling argument. 218 00:10:43.227 --> 00:10:44.353 Come on. 219 00:10:44.353 --> 00:10:46.480 Think about it. 220 00:10:46.480 --> 00:10:51.818 You don't want to graduate high school without any memories. 221 00:10:51.818 --> 00:10:54.947 Actually, I have no problem leaving high school without any memories. 222 00:10:54.947 --> 00:10:57.157 I can't imagine any experience good enough 223 00:10:57.157 --> 00:10:59.326 to risk the possibility of a bad one. 224 00:10:59.326 --> 00:11:02.037 It's like why I don't have my driver's license. 225 00:11:06.542 --> 00:11:08.544 And what's so bad about this? 226 00:11:08.544 --> 00:11:10.546 A 72-hour War Monger marathon 227 00:11:10.546 --> 00:11:12.965 is pretty awesome and safe. 228 00:11:15.217 --> 00:11:17.344 Game on, baby. 229 00:11:17.344 --> 00:11:21.181 Okay, well, maybe 72 hours isn't entirely safe. 230 00:11:21.181 --> 00:11:25.561 According to Google, there are seven specific signs of sleep deprivation 231 00:11:25.561 --> 00:11:27.437 that all lead to complete madness. 232 00:11:27.437 --> 00:11:28.772 Heads up, Tiny Tim. 233 00:11:28.772 --> 00:11:30.899 Ow. Stupid hemorrhoid. 234 00:11:30.899 --> 00:11:32.860 Look alive, fuckface. 235 00:11:32.860 --> 00:11:37.197 Oh, God. Dude, slow down. 236 00:11:37.197 --> 00:11:38.866 What happened to no carbs till college? 237 00:11:38.866 --> 00:11:42.202 Symptom number one, you eat a lot. 238 00:11:42.202 --> 00:11:44.580 - I'm fricking starving. - Oh, pop quiz. 239 00:11:44.580 --> 00:11:46.790 Okay, so you're driving home from a party and you can't drive. 240 00:11:46.790 --> 00:11:49.042 What do you take? Uber or Lyft? 241 00:11:49.042 --> 00:11:51.587 Symptom number two, you're indecisive. 242 00:11:51.587 --> 00:11:56.008 - I don't know. - Lyft, 'cause their drivers are super hot. 243 00:11:56.008 --> 00:11:57.759 Plus, Uber is for fascists. 244 00:11:57.759 --> 00:11:59.803 Symptom number three, you forget things. 245 00:11:59.803 --> 00:12:01.805 - What are we talking about? - I'm open, I'm open! 246 00:12:01.805 --> 00:12:03.932 Symptom number four? Delayed motor skills. 247 00:12:03.932 --> 00:12:05.642 - Come on, come on. - Go, go, go, go, go! 248 00:12:05.642 --> 00:12:08.312 Symptom number five, your pain receptors are... 249 00:12:08.312 --> 00:12:09.646 - Heads up! - ...diminished. 250 00:12:09.646 --> 00:12:13.150 Sorry! 251 00:12:13.150 --> 00:12:17.738 Symptom number six, your senses get all weird. 252 00:12:17.738 --> 00:12:21.450 And the final symptom of sleep deprivation 253 00:12:21.450 --> 00:12:25.245 leading to complete madness, you lose your filter. 254 00:12:25.245 --> 00:12:26.622 Suck a dick, Chuck. 255 00:12:28.957 --> 00:12:31.210 What did you just say? 256 00:12:35.506 --> 00:12:38.634 - Come on. - What the fuck did you just say to me? 257 00:12:39.927 --> 00:12:43.847 Um, I said, uh, 258 00:12:43.847 --> 00:12:47.434 I said suck-- suck her lick, Chuck. 259 00:12:47.434 --> 00:12:50.562 I want you guys to enjoy kissing each other, 260 00:12:50.562 --> 00:12:52.439 'cause, you know, like, we're not gonna be young forever. 261 00:12:52.439 --> 00:12:55.859 Uh, I didn't say that second part, but I thought it. 262 00:12:55.859 --> 00:12:58.612 Uh, what I said, uh... 263 00:13:00.864 --> 00:13:03.450 I said, "Suck a dick." 264 00:13:03.450 --> 00:13:07.412 Suck a dick, you pogo stick-riding douchebag. 265 00:13:07.412 --> 00:13:10.207 You think everyone's afraid of you? Why? 266 00:13:10.207 --> 00:13:13.377 Because you look like one of those punching bags shaped like a torso? 267 00:13:17.089 --> 00:13:19.132 Jimenez, my good man. 268 00:13:19.132 --> 00:13:20.968 I'm not his man. I don't even know who the hell he is. 269 00:13:20.968 --> 00:13:23.804 - We ride. - You remember three rules 270 00:13:23.804 --> 00:13:25.472 to getting through high school alive? 271 00:13:25.472 --> 00:13:30.018 Shut up, don't stand out, don't fuck with Chuck? 272 00:13:30.018 --> 00:13:32.271 Well, this is what happens when you break all three 273 00:13:32.271 --> 00:13:37.484 of those rules in the exact same moment. 274 00:13:38.819 --> 00:13:40.487 Motherfucker. Tell me another joke. 275 00:13:40.487 --> 00:13:42.990 Tell me another fucking joke. Huh? Was it worth it? 276 00:13:42.990 --> 00:13:46.159 - I really fucking hope it was worth it. - Break it up! 277 00:13:46.159 --> 00:13:48.829 - I'm gonna kill you, kid. I'm gonna fucking kill you. - Ow! 278 00:13:48.829 --> 00:13:53.792 - Oh! Oh, oh! - I am going to end your goddamn miserable life. 279 00:13:53.792 --> 00:13:59.256 - Come here, kid. Come here. - The next time I see you, you are fucking dead. 280 00:13:59.256 --> 00:14:01.842 - Get the fuck off me! - Are you okay? 281 00:14:01.842 --> 00:14:03.969 Chuck: ...fuck off me. God damn it! 282 00:14:12.352 --> 00:14:14.938 This is fucking fantastic. 283 00:14:14.938 --> 00:14:16.732 I've never seen something like this. 284 00:14:16.732 --> 00:14:19.735 I mean, terrible-- oh, dude, you're up. 285 00:14:19.735 --> 00:14:21.987 This is a fascinating porn collection. 286 00:14:21.987 --> 00:14:23.947 How long have I been out? 287 00:14:23.947 --> 00:14:27.159 Dude, you've been out for, like, seven hours. Here. 288 00:14:27.159 --> 00:14:29.912 The nurse said that you were gonna sleep for a really long time. 289 00:14:33.373 --> 00:14:36.043 - What about Chuck? - So Luna texted me. 290 00:14:36.043 --> 00:14:38.545 I don't even know how she got through to me because I blocked her number, 291 00:14:38.545 --> 00:14:42.216 but she said that Chuck is only gonna be suspended for 2 1/2 weeks. 292 00:14:42.216 --> 00:14:44.635 - That's it? - Plus anger management counseling. 293 00:14:46.178 --> 00:14:47.888 I have two weeks to live. 294 00:14:47.888 --> 00:14:51.350 2 1/2 weeks actually. So, what? Today's-- 295 00:14:51.350 --> 00:14:56.188 Today's Wednesday, so he's suspended until the 25th. 296 00:14:56.188 --> 00:14:58.649 Aw, damn it. That's the day of the Homecoming dance. 297 00:14:58.649 --> 00:15:00.859 It's not like you need another reason not to go. 298 00:15:00.859 --> 00:15:04.196 You all right? Sid? 299 00:15:04.196 --> 00:15:05.739 Dude, what are you thinking about? 300 00:15:05.739 --> 00:15:07.407 - Sid: Death. - I'm gonna kill you. 301 00:15:07.407 --> 00:15:10.786 I broke my rules, I fucked with the system, 302 00:15:10.786 --> 00:15:12.496 and this is what I deserve. 303 00:15:12.496 --> 00:15:14.998 Chuck is gonna kill me, and who's gonna stop him? 304 00:15:14.998 --> 00:15:18.794 Not the police, not the school, not the courts. 305 00:15:18.794 --> 00:15:20.671 No one ever has. 306 00:15:20.671 --> 00:15:23.549 Sid, you still awake? 307 00:15:29.012 --> 00:15:33.892 Jim told me you two called out sick from work. 308 00:15:33.892 --> 00:15:35.394 You feeling okay? 309 00:15:43.652 --> 00:15:44.611 Hmm. 310 00:15:47.614 --> 00:15:50.576 Oh, I get it. Boundaries. 311 00:16:13.682 --> 00:16:17.060 Sid: This can't be it. This can't be how it ends. 312 00:16:17.060 --> 00:16:18.437 I've gotta find out where Chuck is 313 00:16:18.437 --> 00:16:19.855 and explain what happened. 314 00:16:19.855 --> 00:16:21.398 He'll understand. 315 00:16:21.398 --> 00:16:22.900 Well, obviously this would work a little bit better 316 00:16:22.900 --> 00:16:25.944 if I had a banana that wasn't quite so ripe. 317 00:16:25.944 --> 00:16:27.863 But I can't find the demo banana, 318 00:16:27.863 --> 00:16:28.906 so I just took this out of my lunch. 319 00:16:28.906 --> 00:16:30.657 Dude, did you hear? 320 00:16:30.657 --> 00:16:33.076 Chuck's parents sent him to some anger management class 321 00:16:33.076 --> 00:16:34.703 during his suspension in, like, Switzerland? 322 00:16:34.703 --> 00:16:36.079 It turns out the Swiss 323 00:16:36.079 --> 00:16:38.665 are masters of not giving a fuck. 324 00:16:38.665 --> 00:16:42.085 It sounds dope, and rich, and you can ski there. 325 00:16:42.085 --> 00:16:45.088 - Maybe he'll forgive you. - And inside the condom... 326 00:16:45.088 --> 00:16:48.091 Mm, no, you're probably right. 327 00:16:48.091 --> 00:16:51.386 - He's probably gonna murder you. Sorry, dawg. - All right, question. 328 00:16:51.386 --> 00:16:55.849 What is the only 100% effective method of contraception? 329 00:16:55.849 --> 00:16:58.810 - Butt stuff. - No, that's not it. 330 00:16:58.810 --> 00:17:00.687 - Double condoms. - No. 331 00:17:00.687 --> 00:17:02.314 - Dry humping. - Abstinence. 332 00:17:02.314 --> 00:17:04.608 It's written-- it's literally on the board behind me. 333 00:17:04.608 --> 00:17:07.361 Now, Candace is your student abstinence leader, 334 00:17:07.361 --> 00:17:10.030 so she's agreed to share her experience 335 00:17:10.030 --> 00:17:12.616 or, well, lack thereof. 336 00:17:12.616 --> 00:17:15.619 So, as you guys know, 337 00:17:15.619 --> 00:17:17.496 I have taken the abstinence pledge. 338 00:17:17.496 --> 00:17:19.289 I'm in Sex Ed, and I'm gonna die a virgin. 339 00:17:19.289 --> 00:17:20.874 What are they gonna write on my tombstone? 340 00:17:20.874 --> 00:17:23.335 "Here lies Sid Sandagger. He shrugged." 341 00:17:23.335 --> 00:17:25.254 What's wrong with me? Was this really my life? 342 00:17:25.254 --> 00:17:26.964 I can't die like this. 343 00:17:26.964 --> 00:17:29.132 Is this why my moms want me to make memories? 344 00:17:29.132 --> 00:17:31.969 In case some psycho with a YouTube channel pounds me to death 345 00:17:31.969 --> 00:17:33.512 on the dance floor at Homecoming 346 00:17:33.512 --> 00:17:36.139 to a Taylor Swift ballad? I'm sick of it! 347 00:17:36.139 --> 00:17:37.349 And this abstinence queen going on 348 00:17:37.349 --> 00:17:39.142 and on and on and on 349 00:17:39.142 --> 00:17:41.103 - and on and-- - Fuck that. 350 00:17:41.103 --> 00:17:42.062 Sid? 351 00:17:44.731 --> 00:17:47.818 - I'm sorry. - Candace, please continue. 352 00:17:47.818 --> 00:17:51.154 I'm sorry that I've wasted so much time in this dumb class. 353 00:17:51.154 --> 00:17:53.574 Excuse me. Sid Sandagger! 354 00:17:53.574 --> 00:17:55.325 Candace, I'm sorry for interrupting you, but come on. 355 00:17:55.325 --> 00:17:57.953 Be honest with yourself. Aren't you tired of lying? 356 00:17:57.953 --> 00:18:02.916 Have you ever dealt with unhealthy, unclean urges 357 00:18:02.916 --> 00:18:05.294 or impure thoughts? 358 00:18:05.294 --> 00:18:07.546 At this very moment. 359 00:18:07.546 --> 00:18:10.716 Do you know what I think about on a daily basis? 360 00:18:10.716 --> 00:18:12.384 It would traumatize you. 361 00:18:12.384 --> 00:18:13.844 And then I search it on the internet, 362 00:18:13.844 --> 00:18:14.970 and it exists and there's porn for it. 363 00:18:14.970 --> 00:18:16.388 That means I'm not alone. 364 00:18:16.388 --> 00:18:18.765 You're probably horny all the time, too! 365 00:18:18.765 --> 00:18:21.226 - Actually-- - It's okay, Candace! 366 00:18:21.226 --> 00:18:23.520 You can admit to flicking it every now and again. 367 00:18:23.520 --> 00:18:26.398 - No one's gonna crucify you. - Dude, I don't know what you're doing, 368 00:18:26.398 --> 00:18:28.984 - but please keep going. - I'm horny. 369 00:18:28.984 --> 00:18:30.819 You are horny! 370 00:18:30.819 --> 00:18:33.697 Everyone in this room is horny! 371 00:18:33.697 --> 00:18:35.490 Like, what's the big deal? 372 00:18:35.490 --> 00:18:38.994 It takes a slight breeze, and I am hard as a rock! 373 00:18:38.994 --> 00:18:40.245 All right, Sandagger, lock it up. 374 00:18:40.245 --> 00:18:41.788 Come on, Dr. Capanna. 375 00:18:41.788 --> 00:18:43.999 This is Sex Ed, for crying out loud. 376 00:18:43.999 --> 00:18:45.792 How can you just stand there 377 00:18:45.792 --> 00:18:48.504 and let this girl make us all feel badly 378 00:18:48.504 --> 00:18:51.215 for having completely normal sexual appetites? 379 00:18:51.215 --> 00:18:53.383 - How do you sleep at night? - Yeah, I don't. 380 00:18:55.010 --> 00:18:56.803 I have really bad apnea. 381 00:18:56.803 --> 00:18:59.723 - It's not because of this. - Why? 382 00:18:59.723 --> 00:19:03.018 Why do we all have to pretend 383 00:19:03.018 --> 00:19:04.645 that we don't want to fuck each other 384 00:19:04.645 --> 00:19:06.230 six ways to the weekend? 385 00:19:06.230 --> 00:19:08.106 We should embrace it! 386 00:19:08.106 --> 00:19:09.650 For crying out loud, 387 00:19:09.650 --> 00:19:11.777 I can see Dave Guggenheim's boner from here. 388 00:19:11.777 --> 00:19:15.239 And you know what? I love your boner, Dave. 389 00:19:15.239 --> 00:19:17.950 - Because Dave's boner is in all of us. - Yeah. 390 00:19:17.950 --> 00:19:21.828 - We are all Dave's boner! - Yeah. 391 00:19:21.828 --> 00:19:25.457 And I'm not gonna sit here and let you make everyone in this room feel bad 392 00:19:25.457 --> 00:19:29.127 - for having completely normal sexual appetites. - Yeah! 393 00:19:29.127 --> 00:19:34.258 My name is Sidney Sandagger, 394 00:19:34.258 --> 00:19:37.511 and I once put a Sharpie inside of my own butthole. 395 00:19:43.100 --> 00:19:45.811 - I humped a melon. - Okay, Guggenheim! 396 00:19:45.811 --> 00:19:48.564 I cut a hole in it, and I microwaved it, and then I humped it. 397 00:19:48.564 --> 00:19:50.774 Hell yeah, man. That is disgusting. 398 00:19:50.774 --> 00:19:53.694 Okay, don't encourage him. That's a UTI waiting to happen. 399 00:19:53.694 --> 00:19:56.029 I get off to porn of guys doing it with other guys. 400 00:19:56.029 --> 00:19:59.157 - Sit down! - I use my electric toothbrush as a vibrator. 401 00:19:59.157 --> 00:20:00.909 My boyfriend and I are into macrophilia. 402 00:20:00.909 --> 00:20:02.953 I have a reoccurring sex dream about Elizabeth Warren. 403 00:20:04.079 --> 00:20:05.205 I have vertical balls! 404 00:20:05.205 --> 00:20:07.124 Oh. 405 00:20:07.124 --> 00:20:09.501 Like, instead of a left one and a right one, 406 00:20:09.501 --> 00:20:11.795 I have an upstairs and a downstairs. 407 00:20:11.795 --> 00:20:13.547 It's like two-thirds a snowman. 408 00:20:13.547 --> 00:20:16.175 It goes pickle, potato, potato, cinnamon doughnut. 409 00:20:16.175 --> 00:20:19.052 That is so hot. 410 00:20:19.052 --> 00:20:20.888 Okay, all right, all right. 411 00:20:20.888 --> 00:20:24.016 Warner, Sandagger, Guggenheim, okay. Oh, God damn it. 412 00:20:24.016 --> 00:20:25.893 - No one's taking home condoms. - Sid, Sid. 413 00:20:28.353 --> 00:20:31.106 Sid, dude! Dude, what the hell was that? 414 00:20:31.106 --> 00:20:34.318 - I don't know. - Dude, that was brilliant! 415 00:20:34.318 --> 00:20:36.737 - Come on! Say something! - I don't know, man. 416 00:20:36.737 --> 00:20:38.488 Dude, that was fucking incredible! 417 00:20:38.488 --> 00:20:40.741 Like, fuck every other revolutionary that's come before you. 418 00:20:40.741 --> 00:20:43.535 Like, you are the Messiah. You are Jesus returning. 419 00:20:43.535 --> 00:20:44.912 Candace should've fucking recognized that. 420 00:20:44.912 --> 00:20:46.788 Like, you are the king-fucking-penis. 421 00:20:46.788 --> 00:20:49.333 Your schlong definitely grew three inches from that. 422 00:20:49.333 --> 00:20:51.335 Whatever it is that made it click for you, 423 00:20:51.335 --> 00:20:53.462 - that's what we gotta tell everyone about. - What? 424 00:20:53.462 --> 00:20:55.756 Oh, my God. Sid, we're gonna get so much pussy from this. 425 00:20:55.756 --> 00:20:58.175 I was so inspired. I feel liberated! 426 00:20:58.175 --> 00:21:00.552 Like, this is how... 427 00:21:03.764 --> 00:21:06.350 - Sid: Who is this? - Jim: Hugh Hefner would be so proud of you, 428 00:21:06.350 --> 00:21:07.935 may his soul rest in fucking peace. 429 00:21:07.935 --> 00:21:09.770 Like, he would be so happy. 430 00:21:09.770 --> 00:21:12.564 I'm going home and I'm trying that... 431 00:21:16.985 --> 00:21:20.447 - ...like vagina juice. - Sid: What's next? 432 00:21:20.447 --> 00:21:22.574 - That's fucking brilliant! - How the hell should I know? 433 00:21:22.574 --> 00:21:23.659 It's so DIY, and, like... 434 00:21:26.203 --> 00:21:28.997 I've never really thought about it before. 435 00:21:28.997 --> 00:21:30.582 I mean, I don't think I want to deliver pizzas 436 00:21:30.582 --> 00:21:32.584 with Jim for the rest of my life, 437 00:21:32.584 --> 00:21:34.962 but I'm a senior in high school. 438 00:21:34.962 --> 00:21:36.922 I don't even know what I wanna wear tomorrow. 439 00:21:38.382 --> 00:21:41.718 What if I die, Jim? What if I die? 440 00:21:41.718 --> 00:21:45.597 What are you talk-- Chuck isn't gonna kill you. 441 00:21:45.597 --> 00:21:49.601 Dude, he beat a kid nearly to death, 442 00:21:49.601 --> 00:21:51.186 and he's been beating people ever since. 443 00:21:51.186 --> 00:21:53.146 It's not like he's getting any worse at it. 444 00:21:54.189 --> 00:21:56.441 Oh, God. Two weeks. 445 00:21:58.402 --> 00:21:59.820 What if this is it? 446 00:22:01.613 --> 00:22:03.156 Oh, that is just so sad. 447 00:22:03.156 --> 00:22:05.617 Look, Chuck isn't gonna kill you, dawg. 448 00:22:05.617 --> 00:22:09.204 - I'll protect you. - Yeah, sure, you will. 449 00:22:09.204 --> 00:22:11.415 Unless he offers to let you be in one of his fucking videos. 450 00:22:11.415 --> 00:22:13.834 You think he'd ever let me be in one? 451 00:22:15.210 --> 00:22:17.129 - Fuck you, man. - I'm kidding. 452 00:22:17.129 --> 00:22:21.842 But, like, let's say for a second that Chuck might actually kill you, 453 00:22:21.842 --> 00:22:26.430 which I'll admit is a possibility because he does have a record. 454 00:22:26.430 --> 00:22:28.849 So in this hypothetical world, 455 00:22:28.849 --> 00:22:30.934 then you got two weeks left to live. 456 00:22:30.934 --> 00:22:32.895 What do you wanna do? 457 00:22:38.025 --> 00:22:38.984 That. 458 00:22:40.152 --> 00:22:42.404 Skip rocks? 459 00:22:42.404 --> 00:22:46.241 No, live. 460 00:22:46.241 --> 00:22:48.243 I wanna fucking live. 461 00:22:48.243 --> 00:22:50.204 What do you mean? 462 00:22:52.372 --> 00:22:54.791 Sidney, where has that Sharpie been? 463 00:22:56.710 --> 00:23:01.048 Sid, what are you doing? 464 00:23:01.048 --> 00:23:03.091 "Win at some--" 465 00:23:03.091 --> 00:23:04.885 What does that even mean? 466 00:23:04.885 --> 00:23:08.472 I don't know. I have no idea. 467 00:23:08.472 --> 00:23:11.266 But I'm not gonna, like, you know, 468 00:23:11.266 --> 00:23:14.978 get a promotion or start a company 469 00:23:14.978 --> 00:23:18.065 or have a fling with some foreign girl on a train in Europe. 470 00:23:18.065 --> 00:23:20.692 Everything that you do in life, 471 00:23:20.692 --> 00:23:23.403 everything that makes life good, I have to do it right now. 472 00:23:23.403 --> 00:23:28.116 I don't want just some memories. I want all the memories. 473 00:23:30.494 --> 00:23:31.662 "Know real love." 474 00:23:34.289 --> 00:23:35.666 Are you gonna die a virgin? 475 00:23:42.214 --> 00:23:46.301 Yeah! That's my boy! Let's go! 476 00:23:46.301 --> 00:23:48.512 Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! 477 00:23:50.973 --> 00:23:55.561 ♪ Don't start running me around ♪ 478 00:23:55.561 --> 00:23:57.521 ♪ Don't start running me around ♪ 479 00:23:57.521 --> 00:23:59.731 Dude, that sounds insane. 480 00:23:59.731 --> 00:24:01.817 ♪ Don't start running me around ♪ 481 00:24:01.817 --> 00:24:05.070 So you're gonna do all of this in two weeks? 482 00:24:06.947 --> 00:24:09.783 Yeah. What have I got to lose? 483 00:24:14.955 --> 00:24:18.750 Hey! You want some dinner? 484 00:24:18.750 --> 00:24:23.547 Stay impenetrably silent if you love your mothers. 485 00:24:23.547 --> 00:24:25.340 - Both: Yes! - ♪ You're gonna hit ♪ 486 00:24:25.340 --> 00:24:28.135 ♪ Your back side when your roll out ♪ 487 00:24:28.135 --> 00:24:30.012 ♪ I know I used to roll the dice ♪ 488 00:24:30.012 --> 00:24:31.972 ♪ Till I slowed down ♪ 489 00:24:31.972 --> 00:24:33.724 ♪ I hope you hit your back side ♪ 490 00:24:33.724 --> 00:24:35.350 ♪ Hit your backside ♪ 491 00:24:35.350 --> 00:24:36.852 ♪ When you roll out ♪ 492 00:24:48.363 --> 00:24:52.159 ♪ Don't start, don't start ♪ 493 00:24:52.159 --> 00:24:54.161 ♪ Don't start running me around ♪ 494 00:24:54.161 --> 00:24:56.121 - What's up, dude? - Hey. 495 00:24:57.372 --> 00:24:59.791 Girl: Hey, Sid. 496 00:24:59.791 --> 00:25:03.587 ♪ Don't start running me around ♪ 497 00:25:03.587 --> 00:25:06.798 Dude! Sid, dude, everyone is talking about 498 00:25:06.798 --> 00:25:08.842 your "I'm Boner Spartacus" bit in Sex Ed yesterday. 499 00:25:08.842 --> 00:25:10.511 - Like, in a good way? - Yes, like, in a fucking ama-- 500 00:25:10.511 --> 00:25:13.388 - Jim! Jim. - Oh, my God. 501 00:25:13.388 --> 00:25:15.015 Luna, what the fuck do you want? 502 00:25:15.015 --> 00:25:17.142 I don't remember saying Beetlejuice three times. 503 00:25:17.142 --> 00:25:18.977 Ha, ha, ha. You're so funny, Jim. 504 00:25:18.977 --> 00:25:20.938 We need to buy tickets for Homecoming, 505 00:25:20.938 --> 00:25:22.814 and you have to pay for them, so... 506 00:25:22.814 --> 00:25:25.025 Well, make sure you tell that to the Japanese sex robot 507 00:25:25.025 --> 00:25:26.485 that you get to take you to the dance, 508 00:25:26.485 --> 00:25:28.445 'cause I'm not going with you, Luna. 509 00:25:28.445 --> 00:25:30.822 Dude, dude, dude, dude. Incoming heatseekers inbound. 510 00:25:30.822 --> 00:25:31.865 - What? - Hey. 511 00:25:33.784 --> 00:25:35.827 Holy shit. 512 00:25:35.827 --> 00:25:38.956 Oh, please, God, let Tiff Mann be my secret texter. 513 00:25:38.956 --> 00:25:40.832 Uh, hey. Hey. 514 00:25:40.832 --> 00:25:44.753 - I'm Tiff. - Oh, I know. 515 00:25:44.753 --> 00:25:49.925 Um, listen, I just wanted to say I'm really sorry about what Chuck did to you. 516 00:25:49.925 --> 00:25:53.220 Oh, no, that's-- 517 00:25:53.220 --> 00:25:55.055 that's, uh-- he's-- 518 00:25:55.055 --> 00:25:57.307 - that's okay. - No, it's not okay. 519 00:25:57.307 --> 00:25:59.643 His parents say that he has impulsivity issues, 520 00:25:59.643 --> 00:26:03.063 but I think he can just be a dick sometimes. 521 00:26:03.063 --> 00:26:05.858 Yeah, yeah. 522 00:26:05.858 --> 00:26:10.070 Also are you going to go the game tonight? 523 00:26:10.070 --> 00:26:12.823 He'll be there, and so will I. 524 00:26:16.285 --> 00:26:18.704 Now is probably a good time to talk about hockey. 525 00:26:18.704 --> 00:26:20.289 Let me see you get it in net. 526 00:26:20.289 --> 00:26:22.332 Hockey is a pretty big deal in Eastland. 527 00:26:22.332 --> 00:26:24.418 - Let's get it in! - Score a goal, 528 00:26:24.418 --> 00:26:27.546 and you get to feel what it's like to be a god. 529 00:26:27.546 --> 00:26:30.090 Brad passes it to Worsham. And he goes for the shot. 530 00:26:30.090 --> 00:26:35.762 He shoots. He scores! 531 00:26:35.762 --> 00:26:38.098 You know who knows that feeling better than anyone? 532 00:26:38.098 --> 00:26:41.226 - Whoo! - Eric Worsham. 533 00:26:41.226 --> 00:26:43.478 Eric, Eric, Eric! 534 00:26:43.478 --> 00:26:45.939 Eric is like a king in Eastland. 535 00:26:45.939 --> 00:26:49.902 Face-off at center ice! 536 00:26:49.902 --> 00:26:52.196 Good move, man. Good move, Eric. Come on! 537 00:26:52.196 --> 00:26:55.324 But heavy is the head that wears the helmet. 538 00:26:55.324 --> 00:26:58.160 Eric has to be perfect, because if he's not... 539 00:26:58.160 --> 00:27:00.954 Move your fucking feet! Come on! 540 00:27:00.954 --> 00:27:04.917 ...he gets to enjoy a lifetime of pain and humiliation. 541 00:27:04.917 --> 00:27:08.128 And they're alone! 542 00:27:08.128 --> 00:27:13.091 And just like that, the Fighting Spirits have sent this game into overtime. 543 00:27:13.091 --> 00:27:15.719 Get the fuck up, you fucking piece of shit! 544 00:27:15.719 --> 00:27:18.263 Eric, that goal! That's on you! 545 00:27:18.263 --> 00:27:20.349 And Coach Worsham expressing his frustrations 546 00:27:20.349 --> 00:27:22.935 as they make their way to the locker room. 547 00:27:22.935 --> 00:27:25.479 I wouldn't wanna be at that dinner table tonight. 548 00:27:25.479 --> 00:27:26.939 Oh, yeah. Did I forget to mention? 549 00:27:26.939 --> 00:27:29.816 That psycho coach? Also Eric's dad. 550 00:27:29.816 --> 00:27:32.945 You know what you are? I can't even say the word 551 00:27:32.945 --> 00:27:35.405 because the school board won't let me call you "pussies" anymore. 552 00:27:35.405 --> 00:27:37.658 You pissed away the last period. 553 00:27:37.658 --> 00:27:39.660 God damn, look at me when I'm fucking talking to you! 554 00:27:39.660 --> 00:27:41.954 Beat the fuck out of someone out there, okay? 555 00:27:41.954 --> 00:27:44.164 Like we're back in fucking 'Nam! 556 00:27:44.164 --> 00:27:46.208 What have I got, a bunch of pacifists? 557 00:27:46.208 --> 00:27:48.877 Or do I have me some warriors in this fucking room? 558 00:27:48.877 --> 00:27:52.172 Now, I love you boys. You know I do. 559 00:27:52.172 --> 00:27:54.883 On three. One, two, three! 560 00:27:54.883 --> 00:27:57.177 - Go, Frogs! - Whoo! Go, Frogs! 561 00:27:57.177 --> 00:27:59.346 Come on, guys. Let's go, come on. 562 00:27:59.346 --> 00:28:02.724 Come on, boys, let's go. Get out there and fucking win. 563 00:28:02.724 --> 00:28:05.185 Come on! I love you guys. 564 00:28:05.185 --> 00:28:08.522 Get out there, play hard, play fast. 565 00:28:08.522 --> 00:28:10.315 Come on, guys. Let's go, come on. 566 00:28:25.581 --> 00:28:26.832 You don't have go out there. 567 00:28:28.792 --> 00:28:30.961 What the hell are you talking about, man? 568 00:28:30.961 --> 00:28:32.421 Say you go out there, right? 569 00:28:32.421 --> 00:28:34.089 And you do whatever the hell it was 570 00:28:34.089 --> 00:28:36.550 your dad was screaming about, and you win the game, 571 00:28:36.550 --> 00:28:38.385 and you win a lot more games, right? 572 00:28:38.385 --> 00:28:41.054 You get a scholarship, and now you're playing NCAA. 573 00:28:41.054 --> 00:28:42.764 And you do really well there. 574 00:28:42.764 --> 00:28:45.058 And now you're playing in the NHL. 575 00:28:45.058 --> 00:28:48.228 And now you have fans and money and women 576 00:28:48.228 --> 00:28:49.771 and you might even win the Franklin Cup. 577 00:28:49.771 --> 00:28:51.565 - Stanley. - The Stanley Cup. 578 00:28:53.609 --> 00:28:56.153 But you'll still be miserable, 579 00:28:56.153 --> 00:29:00.240 because you're not playing to win. 580 00:29:00.240 --> 00:29:02.409 You're playing not to lose. 581 00:29:04.620 --> 00:29:06.246 - I don't know. - I know what it's like 582 00:29:06.246 --> 00:29:07.247 to live your life the way you do 583 00:29:07.247 --> 00:29:09.374 because you're afraid. 584 00:29:09.374 --> 00:29:12.252 I used to hide in all kinds of places. 585 00:29:12.252 --> 00:29:16.381 - You hide in here. - I gotta get back out there. 586 00:29:20.052 --> 00:29:21.220 No, you don't. 587 00:29:23.555 --> 00:29:26.058 Crowd: Let's go, Frogs! Let's go, Frogs! 588 00:29:26.058 --> 00:29:29.436 Sid: Turns out jockstraps are super uncomfortable, 589 00:29:29.436 --> 00:29:31.855 especially when you're using somebody else's. 590 00:29:31.855 --> 00:29:35.567 And we got Eric Worsham returning to the ice. 591 00:29:35.567 --> 00:29:37.653 Looks like he took a few extra minutes of rest, 592 00:29:37.653 --> 00:29:39.530 and he'll need it against these Fighting Spirits. 593 00:29:40.572 --> 00:29:42.407 And face-off at center ice. 594 00:29:42.407 --> 00:29:44.201 The drop! 595 00:29:46.870 --> 00:29:49.998 Eric Worsham going offsides. 596 00:29:49.998 --> 00:29:52.501 Ooh, you don't see that from Worsham every day. 597 00:29:52.501 --> 00:29:55.671 - Uh, we've got a face-off deep in the Frog territory. - I'm good, bro. 598 00:29:55.671 --> 00:29:58.507 Jim: There's the drop! Worsham has got the puck. 599 00:29:58.507 --> 00:30:01.593 Oh! Worsham is pounded by the Spirits, and he's down. 600 00:30:01.593 --> 00:30:02.970 Coach: Get your fucking heads in the game, kids. 601 00:30:02.970 --> 00:30:04.096 Jim: Looks like that'll leave a mark. 602 00:30:04.096 --> 00:30:05.472 Coach: Come on, let's go, boys. 603 00:30:05.472 --> 00:30:08.225 Let's go! God damn it. 604 00:30:08.225 --> 00:30:09.852 What the fuck are you doing? 605 00:30:09.852 --> 00:30:12.479 You cock-sucking son of a fucking bitch. 606 00:30:15.107 --> 00:30:18.485 Sid: And then I remembered why I was here. 607 00:30:18.485 --> 00:30:21.113 For in the realm of the dead, where I'm going, 608 00:30:21.113 --> 00:30:23.240 I wanna be able to talk about this shit. 609 00:30:23.240 --> 00:30:24.992 The Frogs lining up with the Fighting Spirits 610 00:30:24.992 --> 00:30:28.203 - in striking distance. - Let's go, E. 611 00:30:28.203 --> 00:30:30.914 Referee: All right, boys, sticks down, face-off. 612 00:30:30.914 --> 00:30:34.793 Jim: And the puck is down. 613 00:30:34.793 --> 00:30:38.714 Oh! With a huge collision on center ice. 614 00:30:38.714 --> 00:30:40.007 Worsham now has the puck. 615 00:30:43.093 --> 00:30:44.928 Fuck fear. 616 00:30:44.928 --> 00:30:46.889 I've been doing a lot of avoiding in my life. 617 00:30:46.889 --> 00:30:48.891 Time to put it to good use. 618 00:30:48.891 --> 00:30:51.894 - Jim: Oh, he dodges! - Come on! 619 00:30:51.894 --> 00:30:53.812 Jim: He's getting close to the goal! 620 00:31:00.402 --> 00:31:02.946 With a spin like a ballerina! 621 00:31:04.239 --> 00:31:05.741 He shoots! 622 00:31:05.741 --> 00:31:07.743 No fear, motherfucker! 623 00:31:07.743 --> 00:31:08.994 He scores! 624 00:31:10.454 --> 00:31:14.124 Eric Worsham brings the Frogs to victory! 625 00:31:14.124 --> 00:31:17.544 Crowd: Eric, Eric, Eric! 626 00:31:17.544 --> 00:31:21.965 Yeah! Whoo-hoo! 627 00:31:27.304 --> 00:31:31.141 - Sid. - What the fuck? 628 00:31:31.141 --> 00:31:35.771 Sid? Is that the guy that shoved the sharpie up his asshole? 629 00:31:35.771 --> 00:31:38.857 Um, correction, that goal was scored by, 630 00:31:38.857 --> 00:31:40.859 and I can't believe I'm saying this, 631 00:31:40.859 --> 00:31:45.405 my best friend Sid Sandagger! 632 00:31:52.079 --> 00:31:56.083 He's 160 pounds of pure sexual energy, 633 00:31:56.083 --> 00:31:57.835 and he's very, very single! 634 00:31:57.835 --> 00:31:59.419 Go, Sid! 635 00:32:03.674 --> 00:32:07.553 Hey. Who the fuck are you? 636 00:32:07.553 --> 00:32:10.806 I'm a friend of your son's, I guess? 637 00:32:10.806 --> 00:32:13.267 I clean the jockstraps. I give them-- I'm, like, their penis-- 638 00:32:13.267 --> 00:32:15.227 Where the fuck did you learn that thing? 639 00:32:15.227 --> 00:32:18.438 I, um-- I... 640 00:32:18.438 --> 00:32:22.192 Fantastic Figure Skating for Fabulous Five-Year-Olds. 641 00:32:24.027 --> 00:32:25.070 Can you be at practice tomorrow? 642 00:32:27.030 --> 00:32:28.740 Yeah. 643 00:32:28.740 --> 00:32:31.410 Yes, sir. Yes, coach. 644 00:33:43.690 --> 00:33:45.192 Jim: I don't know what you did to Eric, 645 00:33:45.192 --> 00:33:48.695 but that was some serious Jedi voodoo shit. 646 00:33:48.695 --> 00:33:51.156 He was just afraid. I used to live like that. 647 00:33:51.156 --> 00:33:54.576 - Dude, he quit hockey. He joined the dance team. - Good for him. 648 00:33:54.576 --> 00:33:56.870 - Yo, what up, Sid? - What's up, Sandagger? 649 00:34:00.707 --> 00:34:01.834 Who are you? 650 00:34:03.669 --> 00:34:04.711 Moving on. 651 00:34:04.711 --> 00:34:06.129 With Arlene in the hospital 652 00:34:06.129 --> 00:34:08.382 for her Seasonal Affective Disorder, 653 00:34:08.382 --> 00:34:10.050 I will be assuming the role of interim 654 00:34:10.050 --> 00:34:11.343 student body president. 655 00:34:11.343 --> 00:34:13.345 However, according to school bylaws, 656 00:34:13.345 --> 00:34:14.930 we will hold a special election 657 00:34:14.930 --> 00:34:16.723 to determine a permanent replacement 658 00:34:16.723 --> 00:34:18.851 for the remainder of the year. 659 00:34:18.851 --> 00:34:21.019 Obviously, I will need a vice-president to run with. 660 00:34:21.019 --> 00:34:24.565 You'll be working with me, designing campaign signs, 661 00:34:24.565 --> 00:34:28.735 ironing out our platform, and of course, debating alongside me in three days. 662 00:34:28.735 --> 00:34:33.699 Expect long, gruesome hours and a whole lot of fun. 663 00:34:33.699 --> 00:34:35.742 Now, raise your hand 664 00:34:35.742 --> 00:34:36.910 if you'd like to be considered. 665 00:34:40.747 --> 00:34:42.958 Sid: You know, I'm not sure when it became cool 666 00:34:42.958 --> 00:34:46.795 to hate on Megan Waters, or even why, really. 667 00:34:46.795 --> 00:34:48.755 But a few months ago, some kid started a FarmersOnly account 668 00:34:48.755 --> 00:34:51.175 and posted pictures of her with a bunch of dicks 669 00:34:51.175 --> 00:34:52.676 and other stuff flying around. 670 00:34:52.676 --> 00:34:54.928 People can be such jerks. 671 00:34:54.928 --> 00:34:57.389 And when do they decide that's the one we're gonna torture? 672 00:34:57.389 --> 00:35:00.601 That's the one that we're gonna make feel like shit? 673 00:35:00.601 --> 00:35:02.519 It isn't right. 674 00:35:05.606 --> 00:35:07.399 Great. 675 00:35:07.399 --> 00:35:08.984 I'll give you guys some time to think it over 676 00:35:08.984 --> 00:35:10.485 and I'll put a sign-up sheet on the door. 677 00:35:10.485 --> 00:35:13.572 Meeting adjourned. 678 00:35:13.572 --> 00:35:16.325 Before I die, I said I'd fuck up the system. 679 00:35:16.325 --> 00:35:18.994 Helping Megan Waters just might be the way. 680 00:35:18.994 --> 00:35:21.330 - Hey, Megan. - Hey, Sid. 681 00:35:21.330 --> 00:35:23.165 About the whole vice-president thing? 682 00:35:23.165 --> 00:35:24.791 I'm sure that I'll find somebody. 683 00:35:24.791 --> 00:35:27.961 I would-- I would love to run with you. 684 00:35:29.588 --> 00:35:32.424 - Really? - Yeah. Why not? 685 00:35:32.424 --> 00:35:35.219 Well, I should probably vet you against the other candidates 686 00:35:35.219 --> 00:35:36.762 before I make any final decisions. 687 00:35:40.390 --> 00:35:42.768 Right. Welcome to the ticket. 688 00:35:44.811 --> 00:35:47.022 I've never really done drugs. 689 00:35:47.022 --> 00:35:49.107 Oh, except in sixth grade when I took two Tylenol 690 00:35:49.107 --> 00:35:50.817 and drank three Diet Dr Peppers 691 00:35:50.817 --> 00:35:53.237 and ended up riding the mammoth at the museum. 692 00:35:53.237 --> 00:35:55.447 Haven't really experimented since. 693 00:35:55.447 --> 00:35:58.450 This is the shit you want. You ever spent the night with molly? 694 00:35:58.450 --> 00:36:01.036 Uh, spent what? 695 00:36:01.036 --> 00:36:02.329 Oh, yeah. No. 696 00:36:02.329 --> 00:36:04.623 Um, what is molly exactly? 697 00:36:04.623 --> 00:36:06.667 You ever been rolling down a hill in the ice 698 00:36:06.667 --> 00:36:08.794 but felt really hot in your soul? 699 00:36:08.794 --> 00:36:13.298 Um, no. 700 00:36:13.298 --> 00:36:15.467 It's, like, spiritual. 701 00:36:15.467 --> 00:36:17.678 The real you comes out. 702 00:36:17.678 --> 00:36:18.762 You're gonna trip balls. 703 00:36:18.762 --> 00:36:21.265 Cool. Sweet. 704 00:36:21.265 --> 00:36:22.850 Um, how much do I owe you? 705 00:36:22.850 --> 00:36:27.479 - How much you want? - Just a few... bits. 706 00:36:27.479 --> 00:36:30.065 - Bits? - Pieces? I don't know. 707 00:36:30.065 --> 00:36:32.484 Just a handful. I don't-- what-- 708 00:36:32.484 --> 00:36:34.069 Just enough to have a good time. 709 00:36:34.069 --> 00:36:36.947 - 80. - 80. Cool. 710 00:36:36.947 --> 00:36:39.867 Usually, I'd be saving this money for, I don't know, my future? 711 00:36:39.867 --> 00:36:41.493 That's the nice thing about imminent death. 712 00:36:41.493 --> 00:36:43.495 It makes financial planning a lot easier. 713 00:36:43.495 --> 00:36:46.790 But don't take more than half a pill at a time. 714 00:36:46.790 --> 00:36:47.791 - Half a pill? - Yeah. 715 00:36:47.791 --> 00:36:49.835 Got it. Okay. 716 00:36:49.835 --> 00:36:54.298 - Minty fresh. Just like this shit. - Thank you. 717 00:36:54.298 --> 00:36:56.300 You think that Candace chick would be down to hump? 718 00:36:56.300 --> 00:36:59.720 The abstinence cop? No. 719 00:36:59.720 --> 00:37:01.346 No, man, I don't think she is. 720 00:37:03.307 --> 00:37:05.184 I might be catching feelings for her. 721 00:37:05.184 --> 00:37:06.476 That's too bad, man. 722 00:37:12.065 --> 00:37:15.652 You know what, Dave? Why wait? 723 00:37:15.652 --> 00:37:18.113 If not now, then when, right? 724 00:37:18.113 --> 00:37:20.949 - Boner bros. - Boner bros. 725 00:37:23.410 --> 00:37:25.162 Like, a lot of puss. 726 00:37:25.162 --> 00:37:27.748 Oh, dude, the Frakas twins are having a party this weekend. 727 00:37:27.748 --> 00:37:30.167 - We gotta go. - Sweet. What kind of party? 728 00:37:30.167 --> 00:37:32.794 Aw, dude, it's a wine-tasting party. 729 00:37:32.794 --> 00:37:36.590 They got Austrian whites, they got a sommelier coming. 730 00:37:36.590 --> 00:37:39.885 I mean, he's gonna-- I mean-- what do you think kind of party? 731 00:37:39.885 --> 00:37:41.345 Yeah, dude. Whatever, I'm in. 732 00:37:41.345 --> 00:37:42.930 - Are you serious? - Yeah. 733 00:37:42.930 --> 00:37:46.058 Fuck yes, dude! That's what I'm talking about. 734 00:37:46.058 --> 00:37:47.476 Dude, I thought I was gonna have to sell that. 735 00:37:47.476 --> 00:37:49.561 Like, for real, I had this whole thing prepared 736 00:37:49.561 --> 00:37:52.564 about how if we both hook up, we would be brothers. 737 00:37:52.564 --> 00:37:53.774 Like, not that we're not already brothers, 738 00:37:53.774 --> 00:37:55.776 but we would be like boner brothers. 739 00:37:55.776 --> 00:37:59.071 Oh, dude, I'm so sorry, but Dave Guggenheim already called that. 740 00:38:14.294 --> 00:38:16.964 You know, I always suspected Tiff Mann was an angel, 741 00:38:16.964 --> 00:38:18.966 but am I really falling in love 742 00:38:18.966 --> 00:38:22.386 with an honest to goodness celestial being? 743 00:38:22.386 --> 00:38:24.930 - Oh, shit. - Oh, were you masturbating again? 744 00:38:24.930 --> 00:38:26.974 - What? No! - That's okay. 745 00:38:26.974 --> 00:38:28.392 Masturbation promotes health. 746 00:38:28.392 --> 00:38:30.060 That's why grandma's never had the flu. 747 00:38:30.060 --> 00:38:32.104 - Can I help you guys? - Well, when you are a parent, 748 00:38:32.104 --> 00:38:36.358 and your son's Sex Ed teacher Dr. Capanna calls you 749 00:38:36.358 --> 00:38:38.652 and tells you that your son has flipped out in class... 750 00:38:38.652 --> 00:38:41.738 Dr. Capanna, by the way, sounds like the biggest moron. 751 00:38:41.738 --> 00:38:45.617 But also, if your son, say, mysteriously ends up 752 00:38:45.617 --> 00:38:48.787 on the cable access sports channel pucking a goal, 753 00:38:48.787 --> 00:38:51.832 we have no choice but to get very invasive 754 00:38:51.832 --> 00:38:54.251 and ask what exactly is going on? 755 00:38:54.251 --> 00:38:56.170 - I'm fine. - Do you know what? 756 00:38:56.170 --> 00:38:57.504 - You don't look fine. - Mm-mm. 757 00:38:57.504 --> 00:39:00.591 I had teeny little mishap at school. 758 00:39:00.591 --> 00:39:01.884 - With a girl? - No. 759 00:39:01.884 --> 00:39:03.886 - With Dr. Capanna? - No. 760 00:39:06.471 --> 00:39:10.392 Okay, well, if you change your mind, you know where to find us. 761 00:39:18.233 --> 00:39:20.152 - Friday. - Hmm? 762 00:39:20.152 --> 00:39:23.197 I have another game on Friday. 763 00:39:23.197 --> 00:39:26.950 And I am going to Homecoming next week. 764 00:39:28.744 --> 00:39:31.121 Do you want us to ask a girl out for you? 765 00:39:31.121 --> 00:39:33.081 Because we are good at that. 766 00:39:33.081 --> 00:39:35.918 No thank you, no. 767 00:39:47.888 --> 00:39:50.098 Well, all right. 768 00:39:50.098 --> 00:39:51.892 It appears as though I am not the only one 769 00:39:51.892 --> 00:39:53.310 who is fucking up the system nowadays. 770 00:39:53.310 --> 00:39:56.897 Whoo! 771 00:39:58.440 --> 00:40:00.067 Hey, take five, guys. What's up? 772 00:40:00.067 --> 00:40:01.610 - What's up, man? - How you doing? 773 00:40:01.610 --> 00:40:02.819 I'd heard you joined the dance team. 774 00:40:02.819 --> 00:40:04.613 That's-- that was-- that was awesome. 775 00:40:04.613 --> 00:40:07.157 - Hey, nice goal the other night. - Thanks, man. 776 00:40:07.157 --> 00:40:08.742 Hey, I wanted to tell you something. 777 00:40:08.742 --> 00:40:13.914 Um, just thank you for talking to me the other night. 778 00:40:13.914 --> 00:40:15.707 I feel like I'm finally having fun in high school. 779 00:40:15.707 --> 00:40:17.709 - I'm happy for you, man. - I should get back there, 780 00:40:17.709 --> 00:40:21.171 - but have a good game Friday. - Careful on those backflips. 781 00:40:21.171 --> 00:40:23.966 - Hey, don't let my dad ride you too hard. - I won't! 782 00:40:23.966 --> 00:40:28.470 - See you around, Sid. Let's go again. - All right! Okay, one... 783 00:40:33.934 --> 00:40:35.519 Good God, understudy, 784 00:40:35.519 --> 00:40:37.145 I cannot wait to kiss that mouth. 785 00:40:37.145 --> 00:40:40.482 It's, like, the hottest face hole I've ever seen. 786 00:40:40.482 --> 00:40:41.525 God. 787 00:40:41.525 --> 00:40:42.985 Only a total tool 788 00:40:42.985 --> 00:40:44.027 would call Tiff Mann's 789 00:40:44.027 --> 00:40:45.988 perfect lips a face hole. 790 00:40:45.988 --> 00:40:49.157 Then again, Erwin Mueller is a total tool. 791 00:40:49.157 --> 00:40:52.077 Voice on PA: This time with lights, please. Thank you. 792 00:40:52.077 --> 00:40:57.457 ♪ Me, alive ♪ 793 00:40:57.457 --> 00:41:02.087 ♪ You make me alive ♪ 794 00:41:04.798 --> 00:41:10.429 ♪ A final kiss before I burn your body ♪ 795 00:41:10.429 --> 00:41:14.308 Also, what the fuck even is this show? 796 00:41:14.308 --> 00:41:16.351 Megan: 'Cause we know that Olivia's gonna go after 797 00:41:16.351 --> 00:41:18.770 those one-issue plastic straw voters, 798 00:41:18.770 --> 00:41:20.647 who aren't even informed, and they don't even know 799 00:41:20.647 --> 00:41:22.357 that it's landfills that are causing 800 00:41:22.357 --> 00:41:25.152 the most pollution in our entire planet. 801 00:41:25.152 --> 00:41:26.778 But we have to appeal to them. 802 00:41:26.778 --> 00:41:28.947 We have to appeal to that dumb demographic. 803 00:41:28.947 --> 00:41:31.366 Hey! You know, that's really rude, 804 00:41:31.366 --> 00:41:33.452 to just rifle through people's things? 805 00:41:33.452 --> 00:41:36.371 What is it? Is it, like, a diary or a journal? 806 00:41:36.371 --> 00:41:38.790 Is it a hit list? Are you an assassin? 807 00:41:38.790 --> 00:41:43.921 It sounds stupid, but I write poetry sometimes. 808 00:41:43.921 --> 00:41:46.340 - Can I hear one? - No. 809 00:41:46.340 --> 00:41:48.050 - Please? - No. 810 00:41:57.267 --> 00:41:59.770 Look, it's... 811 00:42:01.396 --> 00:42:02.523 I'm still fixing them. 812 00:42:09.947 --> 00:42:12.658 Rainbows contain all of the colors, 813 00:42:12.658 --> 00:42:16.411 but white light contains all of the colors of the rainbow. 814 00:42:16.411 --> 00:42:20.082 I am the white light on a cold night. 815 00:42:20.082 --> 00:42:21.667 And if you look just right, 816 00:42:21.667 --> 00:42:26.171 you will see all of the colors inside of me. 817 00:42:27.840 --> 00:42:30.843 There. Now we can get back to recycling. 818 00:42:30.843 --> 00:42:33.428 - That was great. - You don't have to like it. 819 00:42:33.428 --> 00:42:37.432 - I know. - You know, I've never actually 820 00:42:37.432 --> 00:42:39.768 read one of my poems out loud. 821 00:42:39.768 --> 00:42:45.232 Normally when I try to talk to people, they just walk away. 822 00:42:45.232 --> 00:42:49.486 Megan, I'm sorry that I never stuck up for you in student council. 823 00:42:49.486 --> 00:42:51.196 - It's fine. - It's not. 824 00:42:51.196 --> 00:42:53.448 It's not. I'm sorry. 825 00:42:55.200 --> 00:42:58.662 Okay, we really need a stronger stance on cardboard. 826 00:42:58.662 --> 00:43:02.124 Let's just take a break. 827 00:43:03.417 --> 00:43:05.419 I can't just take a break, Sid. 828 00:43:05.419 --> 00:43:07.671 Every minute that we take off 829 00:43:07.671 --> 00:43:09.882 is another one that Olivia Binghman doesn't. 830 00:43:09.882 --> 00:43:12.676 That dirty whore has been trying to steal the council from me for years, 831 00:43:12.676 --> 00:43:16.138 and we are not about to let that happen. 832 00:43:16.138 --> 00:43:17.222 Mm-hmm. 833 00:43:18.682 --> 00:43:20.392 - Your breath stinks. - I'm good. 834 00:43:20.392 --> 00:43:23.437 - I have some in my bag. - Good, 'cause I'm almost out. 835 00:43:26.857 --> 00:43:30.944 I've been meaning to get the average joe perspective. 836 00:43:30.944 --> 00:43:33.572 What do you feel? Paper or plastic? 837 00:43:36.867 --> 00:43:40.704 Yeah, my mom threw a hairdryer at my dad last night. 838 00:43:40.704 --> 00:43:44.583 - I don't know if he bled, but it look like it hurt. - Oh, my God. 839 00:43:44.583 --> 00:43:49.671 - Um... - I wanna believe in love, but I don't know anymore. 840 00:43:51.965 --> 00:43:56.303 Yeah, that's one of life's greatest mysteries. 841 00:43:56.303 --> 00:43:58.305 It's big, right? Like, life-changing. 842 00:43:58.305 --> 00:44:00.933 Mm-hmm, and it's-- just don't feel like it's your fault. 843 00:44:00.933 --> 00:44:02.893 - I'm sure it's not your fault. - It might be. 844 00:44:11.944 --> 00:44:13.153 Sorry. I need a minute. 845 00:44:13.153 --> 00:44:16.281 Yeah, take-- I'm sorry. Yeah. 846 00:44:18.951 --> 00:44:20.994 - I didn't mean to make that weird. - No, no. 847 00:44:20.994 --> 00:44:22.621 - I'm good. I'm surviving. - Yeah, of course. 848 00:44:22.621 --> 00:44:24.957 I just-- I wanna be there and I don't know with to say 849 00:44:24.957 --> 00:44:29.545 because I don't-- I never-- my parents are still in love. 850 00:44:29.545 --> 00:44:32.631 - So, sorry. I just-- - Yeah, thanks for rubbing that in. 851 00:44:32.631 --> 00:44:37.344 - Um, I'm so sorry. - It's okay. 852 00:44:38.762 --> 00:44:39.847 Announcer: Attention, Eastland Frogs. 853 00:44:39.847 --> 00:44:41.348 The student council assembly 854 00:44:41.348 --> 00:44:43.642 will begin in ten minutes in the auditorium. 855 00:44:43.642 --> 00:44:45.352 Where the fuck have you been, Sandagger? 856 00:44:45.352 --> 00:44:46.979 Megan, this is the men's room. 857 00:44:46.979 --> 00:44:48.772 I know. What the hell are you doing in here, huh? 858 00:44:48.772 --> 00:44:52.609 - I'm just peeing. - You peed? 859 00:44:52.609 --> 00:44:56.905 Every great politician knows, "No pee before debate. 860 00:44:56.905 --> 00:44:59.783 It's the pee that makes you great." 861 00:44:59.783 --> 00:45:02.244 I haven't pissed in four days. 862 00:45:02.244 --> 00:45:04.162 Oh, my God. That's incredibly unhealthy. 863 00:45:04.162 --> 00:45:06.540 By the way, your mints, they taste like shit. 864 00:45:10.377 --> 00:45:14.256 - No. Oh, shit. - What? 865 00:45:14.256 --> 00:45:16.341 Are they not mints? 866 00:45:18.010 --> 00:45:20.387 - Uh, kind of. - Kind of? 867 00:45:20.387 --> 00:45:23.223 Okay, there's no such thing as kind of when it comes to mints. 868 00:45:23.223 --> 00:45:26.101 They either refresh your breath or they don't. 869 00:45:26.101 --> 00:45:27.686 They freshen your perspective. 870 00:45:29.229 --> 00:45:30.439 Oh, my God, they're a drug. 871 00:45:30.439 --> 00:45:33.275 I've never taken a drug before! 872 00:45:36.528 --> 00:45:39.448 Get the fuck out of here, Eli! 873 00:45:39.448 --> 00:45:42.367 - Move! - And vote Megan Waters! 874 00:45:42.367 --> 00:45:45.746 Nobody's gonna vote Megan Waters now. 875 00:45:45.746 --> 00:45:47.748 Relax. It's okay. 876 00:45:47.748 --> 00:45:49.833 - I think I need to call my pediatrician. - It's gonna be fine. 877 00:45:49.833 --> 00:45:53.045 I'm-- you're gonna be fine. I promise. 878 00:45:53.045 --> 00:45:54.713 You're gonna go out there, 879 00:45:54.713 --> 00:45:56.048 and you're gonna be yourself, 880 00:45:56.048 --> 00:45:57.299 and everyone's gonna love you. 881 00:45:57.299 --> 00:45:59.635 - No one loves me, Sid! - Jesus. 882 00:45:59.635 --> 00:46:01.386 No one even likes me. 883 00:46:01.386 --> 00:46:05.265 Because people like you and me, we're not pretty. 884 00:46:05.265 --> 00:46:07.392 No! But we're smart. 885 00:46:07.392 --> 00:46:10.771 And that means that we're supposed to have good lives after we leave. 886 00:46:10.771 --> 00:46:15.692 No. Megan, we're gonna start now. 887 00:46:16.777 --> 00:46:18.278 See? 888 00:46:20.072 --> 00:46:22.449 You're gonna be fine, I promise. 889 00:46:23.825 --> 00:46:24.785 Okay. 890 00:46:26.870 --> 00:46:29.164 So what drug was it that we took? 891 00:46:46.890 --> 00:46:48.475 - Oh, okay. - Your turn, your turn. 892 00:46:48.475 --> 00:46:50.310 Hey, everyone. Sid Sandagger. 893 00:46:50.310 --> 00:46:52.229 Uh, it is my strong opinion 894 00:46:52.229 --> 00:46:55.023 that Megan is the fucking best. 895 00:46:55.023 --> 00:46:56.483 - I'm serious, girl, you're such-- - Really? 896 00:46:56.483 --> 00:46:58.694 - Yeah, you're the fucking shit. - Aw, dude. 897 00:46:58.694 --> 00:47:01.405 - I love you so fucking much. - Such good friends. We've blossomed. 898 00:47:01.405 --> 00:47:02.656 - Our friendship has blossomed. - Aww, Sid. 899 00:47:02.656 --> 00:47:05.701 Oh, yeah, of course. Friends. 900 00:47:05.701 --> 00:47:07.327 Okay, I hear ya. 901 00:47:07.327 --> 00:47:11.707 We have evaluated things and come to the conclusion 902 00:47:11.707 --> 00:47:13.500 that you have all been cocks to her. 903 00:47:13.500 --> 00:47:15.335 Yeah, you guys-- you guys have been cocks. 904 00:47:15.335 --> 00:47:16.712 - Yeah. Yeah. - You've been cocks! 905 00:47:16.712 --> 00:47:18.797 Especially you, Jonathan Gliggman. 906 00:47:18.797 --> 00:47:21.133 Yeah, but she is wonderful, 907 00:47:21.133 --> 00:47:23.135 wonderful, if you can't tell already. 908 00:47:23.135 --> 00:47:24.261 - Thank you. - And I think it's about time 909 00:47:24.261 --> 00:47:25.721 that you got to know her yourself. 910 00:47:25.721 --> 00:47:29.349 So, um, well, without much further ado, Megan. 911 00:47:29.349 --> 00:47:31.185 Be yourself. You got this. 912 00:47:33.145 --> 00:47:34.313 Whoo! 913 00:47:44.531 --> 00:47:47.075 I am a prism. 914 00:47:47.075 --> 00:47:51.371 I refract. 915 00:47:51.371 --> 00:47:54.208 But I glow for me. 916 00:47:56.376 --> 00:48:00.172 And I dance for you. 917 00:48:00.172 --> 00:48:05.177 And you and you and you and everybody! 918 00:48:05.177 --> 00:48:08.388 Not her! You made your signs with signs with glitter, 919 00:48:08.388 --> 00:48:10.682 and I went to Kinko's, bitch. 920 00:48:18.023 --> 00:48:19.691 ♪ Composting papers on papers ♪ 921 00:48:19.691 --> 00:48:22.361 - ♪ Recycle bottles on bottles ♪ - ♪ Skrr, skrr ♪ 922 00:48:22.361 --> 00:48:24.154 ♪ We're burning bodies like models ♪ 923 00:48:24.154 --> 00:48:26.198 ♪ And now you inhaled the vapors ♪ 924 00:48:26.198 --> 00:48:27.991 ♪ You know what you wanted me to spit ♪ 925 00:48:27.991 --> 00:48:30.202 - ♪ Whoo, whoo ♪ - ♪ And now you're sorry I did ♪ 926 00:48:30.202 --> 00:48:32.663 - ♪ Huh! ♪ - ♪ Losers vote for Olivia ♪ 927 00:48:32.663 --> 00:48:35.415 ♪ Ballers vote Megan and Sid, you love it ♪ 928 00:48:35.415 --> 00:48:38.001 Sid: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Whoo! 929 00:48:38.001 --> 00:48:42.172 Megan, Megan, Megan, Megan! 930 00:48:42.172 --> 00:48:45.551 Megan, Megan, Megan! 931 00:48:45.551 --> 00:48:49.930 Megan, Megan, Megan, Megan! 932 00:48:49.930 --> 00:48:54.226 Megan, Megan, Megan, Megan! 933 00:48:54.226 --> 00:48:58.230 Megan, Megan, Megan, Megan! 934 00:48:58.230 --> 00:49:02.442 Megan, Megan, Megan, Megan! 935 00:49:02.442 --> 00:49:06.196 Megan, Megan... 936 00:49:09.408 --> 00:49:11.910 Jim: Oh, it's a pass to Sandagger! 937 00:49:11.910 --> 00:49:14.454 - Oh, oh! - Sid: I can't believe I'm about to say this, 938 00:49:14.454 --> 00:49:17.124 but as long as you are not falling flat on your face in spandex... 939 00:49:17.124 --> 00:49:20.961 He shoots! He scores! 940 00:49:20.961 --> 00:49:23.213 ...standing out might not be the worst thing in the world. 941 00:49:23.213 --> 00:49:26.800 - Sidney! Go, Sidney! Go! - Whoo! 942 00:49:31.180 --> 00:49:34.141 - Whoo! - It certainly has its benefits. 943 00:49:34.141 --> 00:49:35.434 Later, dude. 944 00:49:36.852 --> 00:49:38.604 - Good game, guys. - Good job, Sid. 945 00:49:48.280 --> 00:49:50.282 Tiff Mann might be my destiny, 946 00:49:50.282 --> 00:49:53.243 but sometimes even destiny needs a little nudge. 947 00:49:55.579 --> 00:49:58.498 Break a leg out there tonight, man. 948 00:49:58.498 --> 00:50:02.794 Hello, understudy. I thought I smelled you. 949 00:50:02.794 --> 00:50:05.088 Now, this isn't something I'm super proud 950 00:50:05.088 --> 00:50:08.133 to add to my lifetime achievements, 951 00:50:08.133 --> 00:50:10.177 but Erwin Mueller's a dick. 952 00:50:11.887 --> 00:50:13.514 Announcer: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, 953 00:50:13.514 --> 00:50:15.057 welcome to tonight's performance of "Frankenstein," 954 00:50:15.057 --> 00:50:17.684 the new musical by Erwin Mueller, 955 00:50:17.684 --> 00:50:19.770 based on a concept by Mary Shelley. 956 00:50:19.770 --> 00:50:21.313 Tonight, the role of Frankenstein 957 00:50:21.313 --> 00:50:23.524 will be performed by Sidney Sandagger. 958 00:50:23.524 --> 00:50:25.192 The performance will begin in a moment. 959 00:50:25.192 --> 00:50:27.528 - Did he tell you? - No. 960 00:50:27.528 --> 00:50:28.737 Oh. 961 00:50:40.123 --> 00:50:43.168 ♪ Oh, how I love thee ♪ 962 00:50:43.168 --> 00:50:45.587 ♪ And yet you're a monster ♪ 963 00:50:45.587 --> 00:50:47.381 ♪ A vicious monster ♪ 964 00:50:47.381 --> 00:50:51.176 ♪ I am a vicious monster ♪ 965 00:50:51.176 --> 00:50:54.346 - Wow. - ♪ You must die, monster ♪ 966 00:50:54.346 --> 00:50:58.225 ♪ But know I will never forget you ♪ 967 00:50:58.225 --> 00:51:03.480 - ♪ She will never forget me ♪ - ♪ Goodbye, goodbye ♪ 968 00:51:03.480 --> 00:51:06.817 - I can't tell if it's supposed to be a parody. - Is it funny? 969 00:51:11.738 --> 00:51:13.365 ♪ A final kiss ♪ 970 00:51:13.365 --> 00:51:16.326 ♪ Before I burn your body ♪ 971 00:51:16.326 --> 00:51:18.745 Sid: Don't get a boner. Don't get a boner. Don't get a boner. 972 00:51:18.745 --> 00:51:20.747 Don't get a boner. Don't get a boner. Don't get a boner. 973 00:51:20.747 --> 00:51:23.500 Don't get a boner. Damn it. 974 00:51:23.500 --> 00:51:27.045 - Oh, shit. - Go, Sid. 975 00:51:33.760 --> 00:51:37.055 Whoo! Yeah, Sid! 976 00:51:38.849 --> 00:51:41.226 My acting coach says I need to follow my instincts. 977 00:51:41.226 --> 00:51:46.899 Huh. Wait, you have a-- you have an acting coach? 978 00:51:46.899 --> 00:51:50.444 - On YouTube. - Well, that's 21st century. 979 00:51:50.444 --> 00:51:54.615 Um, do you want to-- would you like to go maybe 980 00:51:54.615 --> 00:51:57.868 to the Frakas twins' party with me tomorrow? 981 00:52:05.626 --> 00:52:07.794 - Okay. - Oh, yeah. Okay. 982 00:52:07.794 --> 00:52:09.630 Sick. Cool. Uh, dope. 983 00:52:09.630 --> 00:52:12.007 I'll pick you up at 10. 984 00:52:12.007 --> 00:52:14.301 - You'll text me? - I don't have your number. 985 00:52:14.301 --> 00:52:16.094 Sid: Don't have my number. 986 00:52:16.094 --> 00:52:18.096 We love a good cat and mouse, don't we, Tiff Mann? 987 00:52:18.096 --> 00:52:20.224 Hey, bud, you got something on your face. 988 00:52:23.435 --> 00:52:26.480 ♪ Go ♪ 989 00:52:29.775 --> 00:52:31.985 ♪ Let's go ♪ 990 00:52:31.985 --> 00:52:34.821 ♪ Go, go, trouble in the evening ♪ 991 00:52:34.821 --> 00:52:35.989 ♪ Take it or leave it ♪ 992 00:52:35.989 --> 00:52:37.991 ♪ I can really feel it ♪ 993 00:52:37.991 --> 00:52:39.826 ♪ Stay in on the weekends ♪ 994 00:52:39.826 --> 00:52:41.662 Hey, does this shirt make me look fat? 995 00:52:41.662 --> 00:52:43.997 Like, kinda like when I do this? 996 00:52:43.997 --> 00:52:45.666 Oh, no. No. Buttons are totally slimming. 997 00:52:45.666 --> 00:52:47.918 - What time again? - Um, so, 10. 998 00:52:47.918 --> 00:52:51.088 So then I'll pick you up at 9:30 'cause we gotta get Luna first. 999 00:52:51.088 --> 00:52:54.258 - Dude, you're taking Luna? - It's just for show. What? 1000 00:52:54.258 --> 00:52:56.635 Mom! 1001 00:52:56.635 --> 00:52:58.929 No wonder you don't like Luna. You're too busy falling in love with Sid! 1002 00:52:58.929 --> 00:53:02.850 - Mom! Making me date that brown fire hydrant-- - She is a lovely girl. 1003 00:53:02.850 --> 00:53:05.477 - She's like Satan in the flesh. - I will smack your ass 1004 00:53:05.477 --> 00:53:07.604 - back to next Thursday, okay? - Okay, okay, okay. 1005 00:53:07.604 --> 00:53:09.690 That's the kind of woman you could slap around in bed a little. 1006 00:53:09.690 --> 00:53:11.984 - Okay, Mom, please stop. - I punched your father in the face! 1007 00:53:11.984 --> 00:53:15.571 - Eww, eww! Mom! - And then I got down on him and just went to town! 1008 00:53:15.571 --> 00:53:17.197 - Mom! - Si, and... 1009 00:53:34.548 --> 00:53:36.675 Okay. What the fuck. 1010 00:53:38.594 --> 00:53:42.639 Oh, that was too many knocks. Too many knocks. Okay. 1011 00:53:42.639 --> 00:53:45.100 - You're not even gonna say I look nice? - You don't look nice. 1012 00:53:45.100 --> 00:53:46.935 You look like an incredibly mean person 1013 00:53:46.935 --> 00:53:48.228 because you are one. 1014 00:53:48.228 --> 00:53:50.731 You have the mustache of a child molester 1015 00:53:50.731 --> 00:53:52.816 and the haircut of a molested child. 1016 00:53:55.903 --> 00:53:57.487 Relax, relax. 1017 00:54:10.292 --> 00:54:13.170 - Hey. - Hey. 1018 00:54:13.170 --> 00:54:17.132 Is that your minivan? 1019 00:54:19.384 --> 00:54:23.222 It's Jim's. Great for families. 1020 00:54:28.644 --> 00:54:30.479 Fuck my life. 1021 00:54:30.479 --> 00:54:32.439 You ever wonder what life is like 1022 00:54:32.439 --> 00:54:34.066 for the cool kids? 1023 00:54:34.066 --> 00:54:37.027 Well, tonight I find out. 1024 00:54:41.156 --> 00:54:42.741 You okay? 1025 00:54:46.161 --> 00:54:48.580 Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay. 1026 00:54:48.580 --> 00:54:50.374 - Wanna get a drink? - Oh, yeah. 1027 00:54:50.374 --> 00:54:51.792 - Totally. - Let's do it. 1028 00:54:58.757 --> 00:55:00.717 Cheers. Let's just go for it. Okay. 1029 00:55:00.717 --> 00:55:03.804 - Nice-- oh, you-- - Oh, my God. 1030 00:55:03.804 --> 00:55:06.515 - Is this one bad? - Sid, come hit this! 1031 00:55:14.731 --> 00:55:18.110 Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug! 1032 00:55:18.110 --> 00:55:20.028 Chug, chug, chug, chug! 1033 00:55:28.537 --> 00:55:31.623 This is literally the coolest fucking party 1034 00:55:31.623 --> 00:55:33.625 that I have ever been to in my entire life. 1035 00:55:33.625 --> 00:55:37.212 Why doesn't anybody want to go ride a horse with me? 1036 00:55:37.212 --> 00:55:39.214 You wanna do one? Guys, let's go-- 1037 00:55:39.214 --> 00:55:42.467 Dude, give them their moment. Stop hopping on the... 1038 00:55:42.467 --> 00:55:44.219 For a moment... 1039 00:55:44.219 --> 00:55:47.097 ...this party felt like heaven. 1040 00:55:52.060 --> 00:55:53.520 Luna: Oh, like you haven't thought about it. 1041 00:55:53.520 --> 00:55:57.399 Yo. Why aren't you responding to my texts? 1042 00:55:57.399 --> 00:55:59.776 'Cause I don't want to talk to you. 1043 00:55:59.776 --> 00:56:03.363 - Okay, let's go for a walk. - No. 1044 00:56:03.363 --> 00:56:08.452 We're gonna go for a walk, 'cause we clearly have things-- 1045 00:56:08.452 --> 00:56:11.747 What the fuck? 1046 00:56:11.747 --> 00:56:14.625 - Uh, uh, Chuck. Yo, dawg. - I need you to shut up. 1047 00:56:14.625 --> 00:56:17.252 Sid: Who gets out of anger management a week early? 1048 00:56:17.252 --> 00:56:20.672 - Fuck you, Switzerland. - Dude, don't. 1049 00:56:20.672 --> 00:56:24.259 - Don't do this. - David, Candace, I-- 1050 00:56:24.259 --> 00:56:28.222 I really appreciate it, but I'm fine. 1051 00:56:31.058 --> 00:56:34.269 Well, now I see why you wanted to get me suspended, 1052 00:56:34.269 --> 00:56:36.897 you little piece of shit. 1053 00:56:36.897 --> 00:56:39.358 Give me one good reason 1054 00:56:39.358 --> 00:56:41.193 why I shouldn't kill you right now. 1055 00:56:41.193 --> 00:56:44.655 - Uh... - This is it. 1056 00:56:44.655 --> 00:56:48.867 Barring divine intervention, I am... dead? 1057 00:56:50.661 --> 00:56:52.287 Oh! 1058 00:56:55.415 --> 00:56:59.711 - Not again. Oh! - It may not have been a burning bush, 1059 00:56:59.711 --> 00:57:03.215 but if an exploding car at the time of your imminent demise 1060 00:57:03.215 --> 00:57:04.925 isn't evidence of a higher power, 1061 00:57:04.925 --> 00:57:06.009 then I don't know what is. 1062 00:57:06.009 --> 00:57:08.220 Halle-fucking-lujah! 1063 00:57:08.220 --> 00:57:10.806 Let's get the hell out of here. 1064 00:57:10.806 --> 00:57:12.516 - Yeah. - I think God just did that. 1065 00:57:12.516 --> 00:57:14.768 That was fucking dope! 1066 00:57:14.768 --> 00:57:17.855 Oh, my God. 1067 00:57:22.901 --> 00:57:24.820 - Oh, I'm shaking. - It just-- 1068 00:57:24.820 --> 00:57:27.322 That happened, right? You saw that too? 1069 00:57:27.322 --> 00:57:30.200 I feel like we're in a rap video or something. 1070 00:57:30.200 --> 00:57:32.494 - What happened? - I don't know. 1071 00:57:39.626 --> 00:57:41.962 Oh, shit. I'm sorry. 1072 00:57:41.962 --> 00:57:44.131 That just came out. I don't even know what noise that was. 1073 00:57:44.131 --> 00:57:48.343 It sounded like you put a pig in a blender. 1074 00:57:48.343 --> 00:57:51.346 Um, I'm so confused. 1075 00:57:51.346 --> 00:57:53.765 Have you not been texting me this whole time? 1076 00:57:53.765 --> 00:57:55.309 No, I told you, I don't have your number. 1077 00:57:55.309 --> 00:57:58.770 Look, the truth is, Sid, 1078 00:57:58.770 --> 00:58:01.690 I've been trying really hard to like you. 1079 00:58:01.690 --> 00:58:04.234 I mean, like that. 1080 00:58:04.234 --> 00:58:07.571 That's cool, because I want to like you, too. 1081 00:58:07.571 --> 00:58:11.658 And I do like you, so I'm like a success story you can really look up to. 1082 00:58:16.121 --> 00:58:20.834 You know, I've just-- I've felt so trapped dating Chuck the past few years. 1083 00:58:20.834 --> 00:58:23.003 He and I, we have this cycle. 1084 00:58:23.003 --> 00:58:26.131 It's, like, we fight, we break up, we get back together. 1085 00:58:26.131 --> 00:58:28.175 He gets into some kind of insane trouble 1086 00:58:28.175 --> 00:58:30.177 and I swear that I'm gonna never date him again. 1087 00:58:30.177 --> 00:58:35.933 And then I just end up back with him again. 1088 00:58:37.935 --> 00:58:42.272 I guess I just thought that maybe if I liked you 1089 00:58:42.272 --> 00:58:45.817 then I wouldn't go back to him, you know? 1090 00:58:45.817 --> 00:58:47.945 I wouldn't make the same mistake. 1091 00:58:51.323 --> 00:58:53.825 But... 1092 00:58:53.825 --> 00:58:59.414 But I just-- I don't feel that way about you, Sid. 1093 00:58:59.414 --> 00:59:00.999 I'm sorry. 1094 00:59:05.546 --> 00:59:06.505 Friends? 1095 00:59:24.439 --> 00:59:26.024 She didn't even jerk you off? 1096 00:59:30.028 --> 00:59:30.988 Bummer. 1097 01:00:16.408 --> 01:00:18.785 Screw, Chuck. He can't touch me. 1098 01:00:18.785 --> 01:00:20.204 - What's up, Sid? - Yo. 1099 01:00:20.204 --> 01:00:21.830 When he left, I was invisible. 1100 01:00:21.830 --> 01:00:24.499 Now I'm invincible. 1101 01:00:24.499 --> 01:00:27.503 I'm like a hero, and people protect heroes. 1102 01:00:27.503 --> 01:00:31.632 Heroes never die, right? 1103 01:01:08.752 --> 01:01:10.546 Uh, hey. 1104 01:01:10.546 --> 01:01:13.131 Hey, can I talk to you guys? 1105 01:01:16.301 --> 01:01:17.970 I think-- I think that-- 1106 01:01:17.970 --> 01:01:19.346 I think that you should log off. 1107 01:01:19.346 --> 01:01:20.931 Get the fuck outta here. 1108 01:01:20.931 --> 01:01:23.559 Okay, I get it. I do. 1109 01:01:23.559 --> 01:01:28.772 I love being in here, but I think you're-- 1110 01:01:28.772 --> 01:01:30.941 I just-- I think you're missing out. 1111 01:01:30.941 --> 01:01:32.693 Trust me. I'm you. 1112 01:01:32.693 --> 01:01:36.113 We're to living our lives to our full potential. 1113 01:01:36.113 --> 01:01:40.325 Out there, the quests don't wait for you like they do in here. 1114 01:01:40.325 --> 01:01:43.579 There's a lot more out there than orcs and night elves 1115 01:01:43.579 --> 01:01:47.374 and you shouldn't be spending your whole lives hiding. 1116 01:01:51.503 --> 01:01:54.298 Yeah, all right. Okay. 1117 01:02:07.644 --> 01:02:09.980 Whoa, whoa. Sorry. Hey! 1118 01:02:12.232 --> 01:02:14.067 Hey, hey! 1119 01:02:17.029 --> 01:02:19.364 Hey! Hey! 1120 01:02:22.451 --> 01:02:26.830 - What? - You're, uh... 1121 01:02:26.830 --> 01:02:29.833 Katie. 1122 01:02:29.833 --> 01:02:31.835 You've been texting me this whole time. 1123 01:02:31.835 --> 01:02:33.462 - I'm sorry, okay? I got-- - No. 1124 01:02:33.462 --> 01:02:34.630 No, don't say you're sorry. 1125 01:02:34.630 --> 01:02:37.382 Just... 1126 01:02:37.382 --> 01:02:38.884 ...hi. 1127 01:02:40.636 --> 01:02:43.305 - Hi. - How do you even know who I am? 1128 01:02:43.305 --> 01:02:47.851 I think everyone knows who you are at this point. 1129 01:02:47.851 --> 01:02:49.645 You've been weird. 1130 01:02:49.645 --> 01:02:52.231 Good weird, though. 1131 01:02:52.231 --> 01:02:57.027 And you-- you wanted to help me? 1132 01:02:59.863 --> 01:03:00.989 Yeah. 1133 01:03:00.989 --> 01:03:03.242 Suck a dick, Chuck. 1134 01:03:03.242 --> 01:03:05.452 Why do we all have to pretend that we don't want to fuck each other... 1135 01:03:05.452 --> 01:03:07.996 Jim: Hugh Hefner would be so proud of you right now. 1136 01:03:07.996 --> 01:03:11.166 Sandagger! 1137 01:03:11.166 --> 01:03:14.378 ♪ She will never forget me ♪ 1138 01:03:16.880 --> 01:03:18.298 Do you wanna go on a date with me? 1139 01:03:19.883 --> 01:03:22.302 - Really? - Yeah. 1140 01:03:24.680 --> 01:03:28.058 I'm going to something after school if you wanna come. 1141 01:03:28.058 --> 01:03:29.059 Yeah. 1142 01:03:33.814 --> 01:03:36.275 - I'll text you, I guess. - Yeah, please. 1143 01:03:58.547 --> 01:04:01.300 You know that I have two moms, right? 1144 01:04:03.343 --> 01:04:04.845 And they're both going to hell. 1145 01:04:04.845 --> 01:04:06.680 Oh. 1146 01:04:11.476 --> 01:04:12.686 Okay. 1147 01:04:16.940 --> 01:04:19.067 I just like bits and pieces. 1148 01:04:19.067 --> 01:04:24.531 - Of the Bible? - Yeah, of all religions. 1149 01:04:24.531 --> 01:04:30.537 Plus, churches are really pretty, and quiet, 1150 01:04:30.537 --> 01:04:33.916 and they make boys like you super uncomfortable. 1151 01:04:44.968 --> 01:04:47.471 Sometimes it's just nice to be somewhere, you know? 1152 01:04:51.475 --> 01:04:52.726 Amen. 1153 01:04:56.563 --> 01:04:57.731 Amen. 1154 01:05:05.614 --> 01:05:07.407 Jim: Ten seconds left! 1155 01:05:07.407 --> 01:05:09.826 He's going! Yeah! 1156 01:05:09.826 --> 01:05:13.372 Sandagger! 1157 01:05:23.006 --> 01:05:25.300 ♪ I spent a lifetime killing me ♪ 1158 01:05:30.013 --> 01:05:32.975 ♪ I found an old soul who disagreed ♪ 1159 01:05:35.435 --> 01:05:36.812 Hey, can I ask you something? 1160 01:05:36.812 --> 01:05:37.771 Yeah. 1161 01:05:39.273 --> 01:05:41.275 Did you set Chuck Brawnte's car on fire? 1162 01:05:41.275 --> 01:05:44.486 - No. - I had this awful-- 1163 01:05:44.486 --> 01:05:46.405 ♪ I only wanna be with you ♪ 1164 01:05:53.829 --> 01:05:56.832 Cool. I can do better. 1165 01:05:56.832 --> 01:05:58.542 I wasn't expecting that. So, I can-- 1166 01:06:02.254 --> 01:06:04.256 Katie:"Let go of the past, 1167 01:06:04.256 --> 01:06:05.924 let go of the future, 1168 01:06:05.924 --> 01:06:07.426 in the present, let go. 1169 01:06:07.426 --> 01:06:10.053 Gone to the other shore of becoming, 1170 01:06:10.053 --> 01:06:11.847 mind released entirely, 1171 01:06:11.847 --> 01:06:15.058 you will never again undergo birth and old age." 1172 01:06:15.058 --> 01:06:17.853 - Wow. That's beautiful. - Isn't it? 1173 01:06:17.853 --> 01:06:18.979 - Depressing. - No. 1174 01:06:18.979 --> 01:06:20.189 ♪ We're still young ♪ 1175 01:06:20.189 --> 01:06:22.065 ♪ We should still believe ♪ 1176 01:06:22.065 --> 01:06:26.278 ♪ We passed out on a city street ♪ 1177 01:06:26.278 --> 01:06:29.072 ♪ We laughed until we couldn't breathe ♪ 1178 01:06:29.072 --> 01:06:31.992 ♪ I spent a lifetime killing me ♪ 1179 01:06:31.992 --> 01:06:35.078 My mom is eighth grade math, 1180 01:06:35.078 --> 01:06:37.873 and my dad is a librarian, 1181 01:06:37.873 --> 01:06:40.375 but he likes to be called a media specialist. 1182 01:06:43.295 --> 01:06:44.505 - I wanna kiss you again. - ♪ I ain't got nothing ♪ 1183 01:06:44.505 --> 01:06:50.511 ♪ Left to lose ♪ 1184 01:06:50.511 --> 01:06:52.471 ♪ I only wanna be with you ♪ 1185 01:06:52.471 --> 01:06:54.848 Watch your head because there's, like, a lot of books. 1186 01:06:59.102 --> 01:07:02.648 Like this, Joey. 1187 01:07:02.648 --> 01:07:03.899 All right, if you don't poop there, 1188 01:07:03.899 --> 01:07:05.317 I'm just gonna tell Mom that you pooped. 1189 01:07:05.317 --> 01:07:09.863 Oh, my God. 1190 01:07:09.863 --> 01:07:12.908 Jimbo, what's up, brother? 1191 01:07:12.908 --> 01:07:15.202 Hey, dawg. 1192 01:07:15.202 --> 01:07:18.038 You wanna come chill with us? We're gonna shoot a session. 1193 01:07:18.038 --> 01:07:20.332 You need someone to, like, hold the camera or something? 1194 01:07:20.332 --> 01:07:22.334 No, bro, we need to get you in a goddamn video. 1195 01:07:22.334 --> 01:07:25.546 - You're hilarious. - Uh, all right. Yeah. 1196 01:07:25.546 --> 01:07:26.755 Chuck: Jim, Jim! Jim, Jim, Jim! 1197 01:07:26.755 --> 01:07:29.550 - All right. - Fuck yeah, baby! 1198 01:07:29.550 --> 01:07:32.594 - This fucking kid. - Your dog smells. 1199 01:07:44.356 --> 01:07:46.900 I hope you do die, you fucking drug addict. 1200 01:07:52.739 --> 01:07:54.116 Hey, guys. 1201 01:08:01.123 --> 01:08:02.583 I could press charges, you know? 1202 01:08:02.583 --> 01:08:04.168 For what you did to my face? 1203 01:08:04.168 --> 01:08:05.961 My mom had to put chapstick on my eyelids. 1204 01:08:05.961 --> 01:08:08.881 Okay, what the fuck is going on? 1205 01:08:08.881 --> 01:08:10.382 I feel like I'm in a fricking, like, 1206 01:08:10.382 --> 01:08:11.800 spaceship right now, right? 1207 01:08:11.800 --> 01:08:14.595 You are in a spaceship. 1208 01:08:14.595 --> 01:08:15.762 Yeah, I am! 1209 01:08:15.762 --> 01:08:17.472 I'm in a fucking spaceship, dawg! 1210 01:08:17.472 --> 01:08:19.600 - And your boy, Sid? - Yeah? 1211 01:08:19.600 --> 01:08:21.393 Dude, I've been hearing so many stories. 1212 01:08:21.393 --> 01:08:23.187 Actually, I have mad respect for the guy. 1213 01:08:23.187 --> 01:08:24.813 Dude, he's been going crazy. 1214 01:08:24.813 --> 01:08:27.774 He spiked that theater kid's makeup with Icy Hot 1215 01:08:27.774 --> 01:08:29.276 just so he could go onstage. 1216 01:08:29.276 --> 01:08:31.653 And he got Megan Waters crazy high for her debate. 1217 01:08:31.653 --> 01:08:33.280 - Megan fucking waters? - Yeah, yeah. 1218 01:08:33.280 --> 01:08:35.032 Chuck: He's just trying to live it up before I X him? 1219 01:08:35.032 --> 01:08:37.618 And, dude, he's determined to get laid, too. 1220 01:08:37.618 --> 01:08:39.203 He tried sticking it to Tiff Mann. 1221 01:08:39.203 --> 01:08:41.663 - But don't worry. She said no. - Yeah? 1222 01:08:41.663 --> 01:08:43.207 Jim: Now he's trying to hit on this gamer chick. 1223 01:08:43.207 --> 01:08:44.791 He even went to church with her 1224 01:08:44.791 --> 01:08:46.293 just so that he could get in her pants 1225 01:08:46.293 --> 01:08:47.586 all before you fucking kill him. 1226 01:08:47.586 --> 01:08:49.421 Sid, that is cold, brother. 1227 01:08:49.421 --> 01:08:51.215 You're not gonna, like, hurt him or anything? 1228 01:08:51.215 --> 01:08:53.509 'Cause, like, I'm-- like, I'm down with him. 1229 01:08:53.509 --> 01:08:55.802 No, for sure. I'm not gonna hurt him. 1230 01:08:55.802 --> 01:08:57.554 - Um... - Dope. 1231 01:08:57.554 --> 01:09:00.474 Chuck: 'Cause I'm gonna fucking end him. 1232 01:09:00.474 --> 01:09:03.644 I'm gonna beat him so badly 1233 01:09:03.644 --> 01:09:07.231 that he's never able to feel a fucking thing ever again. 1234 01:09:07.231 --> 01:09:09.858 - Say, "Hi, Sid." - Wait, what? 1235 01:09:17.407 --> 01:09:19.117 - Hey! - Slow down! 1236 01:09:23.497 --> 01:09:24.957 Fuck off, noob. 1237 01:09:36.426 --> 01:09:38.846 What was everyone so upset about? 1238 01:09:38.846 --> 01:09:41.682 Yeah, they were part of a list. So what? 1239 01:09:41.682 --> 01:09:45.394 I still did all the things they thought were great. 1240 01:09:45.394 --> 01:09:48.021 But after the video, everything went to shit. 1241 01:09:49.857 --> 01:09:51.650 I was kicked off the ice, 1242 01:09:51.650 --> 01:09:53.652 and the rest of the guys refused to play with me. 1243 01:09:56.154 --> 01:09:59.283 Megan was put on disciplinary probation for doing drugs, 1244 01:09:59.283 --> 01:10:01.785 and then kicked off student council. 1245 01:10:01.785 --> 01:10:06.081 Candace re-pledged her eternal abstinence and dumped Dave. 1246 01:10:06.081 --> 01:10:08.125 Dr. Capanna: Oh, yeah, sure... 1247 01:10:08.125 --> 01:10:10.919 Oh, and guess who decided to be sick today? 1248 01:10:21.096 --> 01:10:23.098 - Hey, man. - Dude, seriously? Go away. 1249 01:10:23.098 --> 01:10:24.641 - Sid, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - Go, dude. 1250 01:10:24.641 --> 01:10:26.518 - I made a mistake. - Don't fucking touch me. 1251 01:10:26.518 --> 01:10:28.312 - Leave, man. - I made a mistake. Just hear me out. 1252 01:10:28.312 --> 01:10:29.688 Just let me talk for a little bit. 1253 01:10:29.688 --> 01:10:31.899 Do you have any idea what the fuck you've done? 1254 01:10:31.899 --> 01:10:37.112 - Sid, I do know what I did. - You have literally ruined everything. 1255 01:10:37.112 --> 01:10:41.366 All you ever wanted was for someone popular to like you, and they never will. 1256 01:10:41.366 --> 01:10:42.534 Luna, was right, Jim. 1257 01:10:42.534 --> 01:10:45.329 You are an insecure attention whore 1258 01:10:45.329 --> 01:10:46.747 who would literally sell out 1259 01:10:46.747 --> 01:10:49.082 the only real friend that you have ever had 1260 01:10:49.082 --> 01:10:51.668 for the chance at someone with more fucking followers. 1261 01:10:51.668 --> 01:10:54.880 Sid. Sid, I'm sorry, dude. 1262 01:10:54.880 --> 01:10:57.508 Sid, come on! Sid! 1263 01:11:01.011 --> 01:11:04.640 Jim is an idiot. 1264 01:11:04.640 --> 01:11:05.766 Stupid. 1265 01:11:09.937 --> 01:11:15.943 I wasn't just trying to get with you. 1266 01:11:15.943 --> 01:11:17.444 I promise. 1267 01:11:21.281 --> 01:11:22.824 God. 1268 01:11:31.667 --> 01:11:32.751 I know. 1269 01:11:49.977 --> 01:11:52.479 Aah! God! 1270 01:12:06.493 --> 01:12:08.370 This is why I have rules. 1271 01:12:08.370 --> 01:12:09.621 This is why I said to shut up 1272 01:12:09.621 --> 01:12:11.039 and to stay under the radar 1273 01:12:11.039 --> 01:12:13.000 and to not mess with the system. 1274 01:12:13.000 --> 01:12:15.419 Because when you speak up, when you care, 1275 01:12:15.419 --> 01:12:17.421 and when you stop being afraid, 1276 01:12:17.421 --> 01:12:20.424 people will hurt you. 1277 01:12:20.424 --> 01:12:22.050 They will find that thing inside of you 1278 01:12:22.050 --> 01:12:24.636 that you try so hard to guard and protect, 1279 01:12:24.636 --> 01:12:26.638 and they will poke at it and jab at it 1280 01:12:26.638 --> 01:12:30.809 until you want to just crawl into a little ball and cry, 1281 01:12:30.809 --> 01:12:33.395 and then you might as well be dead. 1282 01:12:50.245 --> 01:12:54.041 Why haven't you been answering Jim's DMs? 1283 01:12:54.041 --> 01:12:56.502 I don't really feel like talking to him right now. 1284 01:12:56.502 --> 01:12:58.879 What he did was stupid. 1285 01:12:58.879 --> 01:13:01.965 But what do you expect? It's Jim. 1286 01:13:01.965 --> 01:13:05.052 He has the emotional intelligence of a premature baby 1287 01:13:05.052 --> 01:13:08.096 and the actual intelligence of one of those baboons with the red asses. 1288 01:13:08.096 --> 01:13:10.057 Those are just baboons. 1289 01:13:10.057 --> 01:13:12.184 And they use tools, they're brilliant animals. 1290 01:13:12.184 --> 01:13:13.435 Well, Jim isn't. 1291 01:13:14.686 --> 01:13:16.230 But he's also your best friend. 1292 01:13:20.150 --> 01:13:21.610 You're coming to Homecoming tonight, right? 1293 01:13:21.610 --> 01:13:25.572 No. I don't have a date. I don't have a ride. 1294 01:13:25.572 --> 01:13:28.909 I got you a tie and boutonnière when Jim got his. 1295 01:13:28.909 --> 01:13:31.286 Fair warning, he did that dumb thing 1296 01:13:31.286 --> 01:13:33.705 where he got the pimp cane and the top hat. 1297 01:13:33.705 --> 01:13:34.831 Ugh. 1298 01:13:34.831 --> 01:13:37.918 As far as a date goes, fuck it. 1299 01:13:37.918 --> 01:13:40.170 Just show up, or you'll regret it. 1300 01:13:41.505 --> 01:13:42.923 Chuck will kill me. 1301 01:13:42.923 --> 01:13:45.968 - I blew up Chuck's car. - What? 1302 01:13:45.968 --> 01:13:47.803 Yeah. 1303 01:13:58.814 --> 01:14:01.316 Grain alcohol is surprisingly flammable. 1304 01:14:01.316 --> 01:14:03.652 Luna, that's insane. And a felony. 1305 01:14:03.652 --> 01:14:06.071 - Maybe. - It is. 1306 01:14:06.071 --> 01:14:08.115 - But do you know why I did it? - Because you're fucking nuts? 1307 01:14:08.115 --> 01:14:11.743 Because for a moment, you gave everyone hope. 1308 01:14:11.743 --> 01:14:14.538 Look at all those people whose lives you affected 1309 01:14:14.538 --> 01:14:16.540 just by being an arrogant little shit 1310 01:14:16.540 --> 01:14:19.960 by refused to play by the rules and be quiet. 1311 01:14:19.960 --> 01:14:23.297 Now everybody just thinks I was using them for some stupid bucket list. 1312 01:14:23.297 --> 01:14:26.300 But stay home and hide from Chuck? 1313 01:14:28.760 --> 01:14:30.053 You'll be showing them that they're right. 1314 01:14:33.765 --> 01:14:35.934 Well, I gotta get back before lunch is over. 1315 01:14:43.817 --> 01:14:45.319 For you. 1316 01:14:47.154 --> 01:14:49.323 Later, fuckwad. 1317 01:15:07.799 --> 01:15:10.928 - I think we have to start over. - You know how to tie a tie? 1318 01:15:10.928 --> 01:15:13.514 Can you get a YouTube video just in case? 1319 01:15:13.514 --> 01:15:16.642 Oh, did you know that this is called an oriental knot? 1320 01:15:16.642 --> 01:15:18.644 - It goes around the tree trunk. - Yeah. 1321 01:15:18.644 --> 01:15:21.396 - Did it. - Photo time. 1322 01:15:27.194 --> 01:15:28.529 Oh, man, this is my song! 1323 01:15:39.206 --> 01:15:41.041 Get up. 1324 01:15:41.041 --> 01:15:45.087 - Get up. - Nice cane. 1325 01:15:45.087 --> 01:15:49.424 - Thanks. - Look, man, I'm sorry 1326 01:15:49.424 --> 01:15:51.218 about some of that stuff that I said. 1327 01:15:51.218 --> 01:15:54.179 Yeah, you said some pretty rough stuff. 1328 01:15:54.179 --> 01:15:56.056 I do think you care a little bit too much 1329 01:15:56.056 --> 01:15:59.434 about being popular, but I get it. 1330 01:15:59.434 --> 01:16:01.687 I know how good it felt when I finally started to get some attention, 1331 01:16:01.687 --> 01:16:03.897 so I don't blame you. 1332 01:16:03.897 --> 01:16:06.066 Boner brothers? 1333 01:16:06.066 --> 01:16:09.236 I thought that was you and Dave Guggenheim's thing. 1334 01:16:09.236 --> 01:16:12.447 Come on, Jimenez. 1335 01:16:12.447 --> 01:16:14.074 You'll always be my boner brother. 1336 01:16:15.450 --> 01:16:17.202 I'm gonna go spike the punch. 1337 01:16:24.459 --> 01:16:26.879 Give him some time. 1338 01:16:26.879 --> 01:16:28.422 Jim doesn't think very fast. 1339 01:16:31.466 --> 01:16:33.468 You look nice. 1340 01:16:33.468 --> 01:16:35.679 Thanks. 1341 01:16:35.679 --> 01:16:37.097 You look beautiful. 1342 01:16:37.097 --> 01:16:38.223 I know. 1343 01:16:42.269 --> 01:16:46.106 - Um, will you give me a second? - Yeah. 1344 01:16:46.106 --> 01:16:50.152 Hey. Um, just-- 1345 01:16:50.152 --> 01:16:52.112 - Hey, please. - Sid, I don't wanna have this conversation. 1346 01:16:52.112 --> 01:16:54.865 This isn't that. It's not that conversation. 1347 01:16:54.865 --> 01:16:57.910 This isn't me saying that I made a mistake, 1348 01:16:57.910 --> 01:17:01.496 or that there was some big misunderstanding, 1349 01:17:01.496 --> 01:17:04.917 or even telling you that you're the love of my life 1350 01:17:04.917 --> 01:17:06.919 or the only one for me or anything. 1351 01:17:06.919 --> 01:17:08.754 This isn't even me trying to win you back. 1352 01:17:08.754 --> 01:17:11.673 - Okay, then what is it? - It's goodbye. 1353 01:17:14.301 --> 01:17:17.304 I just-- I wanted to say that I've had 1354 01:17:17.304 --> 01:17:20.140 a lot of bad days and a few good ones. 1355 01:17:20.140 --> 01:17:24.811 But the ones that I spent with you, Katie, were the best ones. 1356 01:17:24.811 --> 01:17:27.981 And I'm so thankful to you for that. 1357 01:18:03.433 --> 01:18:04.476 You ready? 1358 01:18:08.272 --> 01:18:10.232 I am. 1359 01:18:10.232 --> 01:18:14.069 As I walk through the valley of the shadow of high school, 1360 01:18:14.069 --> 01:18:17.406 I take with me my memories, I leave behind my regrets. 1361 01:18:17.406 --> 01:18:20.492 I have loved, lost, risen, fallen, 1362 01:18:20.492 --> 01:18:22.411 and now I face the beyond. 1363 01:18:22.411 --> 01:18:25.205 May my beatdown inspire those who still live in fear. 1364 01:18:25.205 --> 01:18:29.293 I am Sid Sandagger, and I am no longer afraid! 1365 01:18:29.293 --> 01:18:32.004 And I have lived! 1366 01:18:42.806 --> 01:18:45.142 Oh, shit. Oh, fuck. 1367 01:18:45.142 --> 01:18:46.560 How does this shit fucking work? 1368 01:18:46.560 --> 01:18:50.063 That's definitely not how it works. 1369 01:18:50.063 --> 01:18:53.567 Hey, buddy. How you feel? 1370 01:18:54.818 --> 01:18:56.195 I'm alive? 1371 01:18:56.195 --> 01:18:57.404 Yeah, you're alive. 1372 01:18:57.404 --> 01:19:00.032 I mean, you look like a Picasso, 1373 01:19:00.032 --> 01:19:02.034 but you're alive. 1374 01:19:06.622 --> 01:19:08.624 - Oh, my God. - What? 1375 01:19:08.624 --> 01:19:11.001 What happened to your face? 1376 01:19:11.001 --> 01:19:13.837 Oh, um, I think Luna might've tagged me by accident. 1377 01:19:13.837 --> 01:19:15.297 She is so strong. 1378 01:19:15.297 --> 01:19:18.050 I think it's the low center of gravity 1379 01:19:18.050 --> 01:19:21.553 - and the rage issues. - So what happened? 1380 01:19:21.553 --> 01:19:24.181 You went unconscious pretty quickly, and then shit went down. 1381 01:19:26.099 --> 01:19:28.393 Coach: Break it up! 1382 01:19:28.393 --> 01:19:30.854 Dad, listen to me! I'm a dancer! 1383 01:19:30.854 --> 01:19:31.855 What do you mean you're a dancer? 1384 01:19:31.855 --> 01:19:33.065 Yeah! You know what else? 1385 01:19:35.234 --> 01:19:37.486 I wanna dance! 1386 01:19:37.486 --> 01:19:38.820 Somebody dance with me! 1387 01:19:38.820 --> 01:19:40.656 Now I know why pimps carry canes! 1388 01:19:45.661 --> 01:19:47.287 - Oh, fuck. - You stupid bitch. 1389 01:19:47.287 --> 01:19:51.250 - No, I thought we were bros! - Motherfucker! 1390 01:19:51.250 --> 01:19:54.461 I'll kill you, you hear me? I'll fucking kill you, bitch! 1391 01:19:55.587 --> 01:19:57.005 I hope you choke to death! 1392 01:19:57.005 --> 01:19:58.882 I'll protect you. 1393 01:19:58.882 --> 01:20:00.509 Protect yourself, bitch. 1394 01:20:00.509 --> 01:20:02.970 - Make your melon. - Yes. 1395 01:20:09.560 --> 01:20:11.937 - You fought Chuck for me? - Yeah, of course, dude. 1396 01:20:11.937 --> 01:20:14.815 You're my best friend. 1397 01:20:14.815 --> 01:20:18.402 I'm never gonna let some piece of shit beat the shit out of you. 1398 01:20:18.402 --> 01:20:23.073 - Can you walk? - Oh, fuck. 1399 01:20:23.073 --> 01:20:25.117 Dude, I haven't even tri-- oh. 1400 01:20:25.117 --> 01:20:26.910 Oh, yeah. Yeah, no, I think so. 1401 01:20:26.910 --> 01:20:27.911 Fuck! 1402 01:20:30.122 --> 01:20:33.208 Well, anyway, there's some people who might wanna see you. 1403 01:20:33.208 --> 01:20:35.711 Yeah, I'm good. 1404 01:20:38.839 --> 01:20:40.132 Hey. 1405 01:20:42.926 --> 01:20:44.136 Yeah, you're definitely gonna need stitches. 1406 01:20:44.136 --> 01:20:47.723 - Ow. Oh, fuck. - Sid! Hey. 1407 01:20:47.723 --> 01:20:53.562 ♪ Today I took my first breath ♪ 1408 01:20:53.562 --> 01:20:55.731 Sid, way to take that punch, man. 1409 01:20:55.731 --> 01:20:57.608 Oh! 1410 01:20:57.608 --> 01:21:02.112 ♪ I'm standing on this broken road ♪ 1411 01:21:02.112 --> 01:21:08.076 ♪ I'll find my way back home to you and me ♪ 1412 01:21:10.537 --> 01:21:12.956 ♪ Hey ♪ 1413 01:21:12.956 --> 01:21:15.375 ♪ Hey ♪ 1414 01:21:15.375 --> 01:21:16.502 ♪ Hey ♪ 1415 01:21:19.671 --> 01:21:20.964 So we're agreed on ground rules? 1416 01:21:20.964 --> 01:21:22.299 One night only, 1417 01:21:22.299 --> 01:21:23.383 and then we never breathe a word of this 1418 01:21:23.383 --> 01:21:24.885 - to anyone ever again. - Deal. 1419 01:21:24.885 --> 01:21:26.220 Like it never happened. 1420 01:21:26.220 --> 01:21:27.971 - Wanna know something? - What? 1421 01:21:27.971 --> 01:21:31.767 - I blew up Chuck's car. - God, you're fucking crazy. 1422 01:21:31.767 --> 01:21:35.604 ♪ Today is the day ♪ 1423 01:21:46.406 --> 01:21:48.200 Hey. 1424 01:21:48.200 --> 01:21:49.159 Hey. 1425 01:21:50.202 --> 01:21:53.747 How was your day? 1426 01:21:53.747 --> 01:21:54.748 Eventful. 1427 01:21:54.748 --> 01:21:57.292 Can we just start over? 1428 01:21:58.794 --> 01:22:01.046 Yeah. 1429 01:22:01.046 --> 01:22:02.005 I'm Sid. 1430 01:22:04.007 --> 01:22:04.967 I know. 1431 01:22:07.219 --> 01:22:08.679 Do you wanna dance? 1432 01:22:10.597 --> 01:22:11.598 Yeah. 1433 01:22:17.229 --> 01:22:19.022 - Oh! - What? 1434 01:22:19.022 --> 01:22:20.399 What, what? What, what, what? 1435 01:22:20.399 --> 01:22:22.609 - What, what? What? - You bit me! 1436 01:22:22.609 --> 01:22:25.153 Why is your tongue so long? Are you trying to get my throat pregnant? 1437 01:22:25.153 --> 01:22:27.447 Oh, my God. Why did I think this would be a good idea? 1438 01:22:27.447 --> 01:22:30.951 - You kiss like a succubus. - I hate you so much. 1439 01:22:33.620 --> 01:22:36.623 What, what? 1440 01:22:36.623 --> 01:22:38.208 Will you stick a finger in my butt? 1441 01:22:42.129 --> 01:22:45.632 - You are so beautiful. - ♪ Hey ♪ 1442 01:22:45.632 --> 01:22:50.637 ♪ Today is the day ♪ 1443 01:22:50.637 --> 01:22:55.851 ♪ Today is our day ♪ 1444 01:22:55.851 --> 01:22:57.603 Shit, I have a boner. 1445 01:22:58.896 --> 01:23:00.856 Me too. 1446 01:23:05.027 --> 01:23:10.282 ♪ Today is the day ♪ 1447 01:23:10.282 --> 01:23:13.869 ♪ Today is our day ♪ 1448 01:23:13.869 --> 01:23:15.871 ♪ For your and me ♪ 1449 01:23:18.874 --> 01:23:20.834 ♪ For you and me ♪ 1450 01:23:23.670 --> 01:23:26.048 ♪ For you and me ♪ 1451 01:23:28.675 --> 01:23:30.469 ♪ For you and me ♪ 1452 01:23:51.657 --> 01:23:55.327 ♪ All the roads I've had to choose ♪ 1453 01:23:55.327 --> 01:23:58.997 ♪ And they all led back to you ♪ 1454 01:23:58.997 --> 01:24:02.668 ♪ My eyes are open wide out ♪ 1455 01:24:02.668 --> 01:24:05.712 ♪ But you put the light out ♪ 1456 01:24:05.712 --> 01:24:08.715 ♪ You're running me around ♪ 1457 01:24:08.715 --> 01:24:12.553 ♪ Don't start running me around ♪ 1458 01:24:12.553 --> 01:24:16.265 ♪ Don't start running me around ♪ 1459 01:24:16.265 --> 01:24:19.852 ♪ Don't start running me around ♪ 1460 01:24:19.852 --> 01:24:21.770 ♪ Don't start running me around ♪ 1461 01:24:21.770 --> 01:24:25.357 ♪ I never know how many roads ♪ 1462 01:24:25.357 --> 01:24:29.027 ♪ I'll have to choose ♪ 1463 01:24:29.027 --> 01:24:31.363 ♪ It's not a bed of roses ♪ 1464 01:24:31.363 --> 01:24:33.365 ♪ You never notice ♪ 1465 01:24:33.365 --> 01:24:36.368 ♪ You never knew ♪ 1466 01:24:36.368 --> 01:24:40.956 ♪ I hope you don't hit your back side when you roll out ♪ 1467 01:24:40.956 --> 01:24:44.751 ♪ And you never used to roll the dice till you slowed down ♪ 1468 01:24:44.751 --> 01:24:48.589 ♪ Now I hope you hit your back side, hit your back side ♪ 1469 01:24:48.589 --> 01:24:51.049 ♪ When you roll out ♪ 1470 01:24:51.049 --> 01:24:54.052 ♪ You're running me around ♪ 1471 01:24:54.052 --> 01:24:57.723 ♪ Don't start running me around ♪ 1472 01:24:57.723 --> 01:25:01.435 ♪ Don't start running me around ♪ 1473 01:25:01.435 --> 01:25:05.063 ♪ Don't start running me around ♪ 1474 01:25:05.063 --> 01:25:08.734 ♪ Don't start running me around ♪ 1475 01:25:08.734 --> 01:25:12.404 ♪ Who you calling in the middle of the night? ♪ 1476 01:25:12.404 --> 01:25:16.074 ♪ I know you miss it and you wish it was right ♪ 1477 01:25:16.074 --> 01:25:19.745 ♪ I know you wish you knew what you know now ♪ 1478 01:25:19.745 --> 01:25:24.041 ♪ But I can't take you when you're running me around ♪ 1479 01:25:37.638 --> 01:25:41.558 ♪ All the roads I've had to choose ♪ 1480 01:25:41.558 --> 01:25:44.645 ♪ And they all led back to you ♪ 1481 01:25:44.645 --> 01:25:48.649 ♪ My eyes are open wide out ♪ 1482 01:25:48.649 --> 01:25:52.236 ♪ But you put the light out ♪ 1483 01:25:52.236 --> 01:25:54.029 ♪ I hope you know you're gonna hit ♪ 1484 01:25:54.029 --> 01:25:57.032 ♪ Your back side when you roll out ♪ 1485 01:25:57.032 --> 01:25:59.034 ♪ I know I used to roll the dice ♪ 1486 01:25:59.034 --> 01:26:00.744 ♪ Till I slowed down ♪ 1487 01:26:00.744 --> 01:26:02.663 ♪ I hope you hit your back side, 1488 01:26:02.663 --> 01:26:06.834 ♪ Hit your back side when you roll out ♪ 1489 01:26:06.834 --> 01:26:09.670 ♪ You're running me around ♪ 1490 01:26:09.670 --> 01:26:13.465 ♪ Don't start running me around ♪ 1491 01:26:13.465 --> 01:26:17.177 ♪ Don't start running me around ♪ 1492 01:26:17.177 --> 01:26:21.056 ♪ Don't start running me around ♪ 1493 01:26:21.056 --> 01:26:24.685 ♪ Don't start running me around ♪ 1494 01:26:24.685 --> 01:26:28.480 ♪ Don't start, don't start ♪ 1495 01:26:28.480 --> 01:26:33.235 ♪ Don't start running me around ♪ 1496 01:26:36.196 --> 01:26:41.243 ♪ Don't start running me around ♪ 1497 01:27:04.725 --> 01:27:08.729 ♪ The cycle never really ends ♪ 1498 01:27:08.729 --> 01:27:12.107 ♪ You and me were left out ♪ 1499 01:27:12.107 --> 01:27:14.902 ♪ I'm stuck inside the glass again ♪ 1500 01:27:14.902 --> 01:27:17.112 ♪ Tell me everything about it ♪ 1501 01:27:17.112 --> 01:27:20.115 ♪ Now I can't explain ♪ 1502 01:27:20.115 --> 01:27:23.911 ♪ Everything inside your brain ♪ 1503 01:27:23.911 --> 01:27:26.538 ♪ Is turning inside out ♪ 1504 01:27:26.538 --> 01:27:30.501 ♪ And upside down ♪ 1505 01:27:32.753 --> 01:27:36.548 ♪ I think I'm just your bad habit ♪ 1506 01:27:36.548 --> 01:27:40.552 ♪ I think I'm just your bad habit ♪ 1507 01:27:40.552 --> 01:27:43.931 ♪ I think I'm just your bad habit ♪ 1508 01:27:43.931 --> 01:27:46.892 ♪ I think I'm just your-- just your ♪ 1509 01:28:01.949 --> 01:28:05.369 ♪ Hurting from a tough crowd ♪ 1510 01:28:05.369 --> 01:28:09.373 ♪ Cool classic playing on the brain ♪ 1511 01:28:09.373 --> 01:28:13.377 ♪ We're craving all the old times ♪ 1512 01:28:13.377 --> 01:28:15.796 ♪ Just to bring back all the pain ♪ 1513 01:28:15.796 --> 01:28:18.382 ♪ Tell me everything about it ♪ 1514 01:28:18.382 --> 01:28:21.176 ♪ Now I can't explain ♪ 1515 01:28:21.176 --> 01:28:24.805 ♪ Everything inside your brain ♪ 1516 01:28:24.805 --> 01:28:27.599 ♪ Is turning inside out ♪ 1517 01:28:27.599 --> 01:28:31.770 ♪ And upside down ♪ 1518 01:28:33.605 --> 01:28:37.609 ♪ I think I'm just your bad habit ♪ 1519 01:28:37.609 --> 01:28:41.405 ♪ I think I'm just your bad habit ♪ 1520 01:28:41.405 --> 01:28:44.992 ♪ I think I'm just your bad habit ♪ 1521 01:28:44.992 --> 01:28:48.620 ♪ I think I'm just your-- just your habit ♪ 1522 01:28:48.620 --> 01:28:51.623 ♪ Makes me wanna scream ♪ 1523 01:28:51.623 --> 01:28:55.419 ♪ Feeling like I'm 17 ♪ 1524 01:28:55.419 --> 01:28:59.631 ♪ Pick a fight and make a scene ♪ 1525 01:28:59.631 --> 01:29:02.593 ♪ Think I'm just your bad habit ♪ 1526 01:29:19.651 --> 01:29:23.447 ♪ I think I'm just your bad habit ♪ 1527 01:29:23.447 --> 01:29:27.242 ♪ I think I'm just your bad habit ♪ 1528 01:29:27.242 --> 01:29:30.871 ♪ I think I'm just your bad habit ♪ 1529 01:29:30.871 --> 01:29:34.041 ♪ I think I'm just your-- just your ♪