WEBVTT FILE

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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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This film is brought to you by the
Los Angeles CineFest Film Festival,

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the Hollywood Screenings Film
Festival and the Oh Scares Award.

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Have you ever wondered what happened to

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Harry Pattern your favourite childhood Idol?

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Yes that's me.

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I played in a few other films like

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Averages

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A Hard Die remake.

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Or John Wig.

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Hollywood asked me to be in a reboot but

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I'm old and audiences is need young

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energetic actors to play the lead not a

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bum like me.

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Recently I lost my wand.

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So I use anything I can find to create magic.

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Well let's try this pen

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I need to take a break from acting

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for many years I followed each story

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every single script and nobody asked me

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"Hey Harry do you have any stories to tell?"

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Nope no one asked me that

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I didn't have a chance to tell my

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stories to express what was in my mind.

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So I started to write.

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And I write a lot.

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Jessie?

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Hey, you must be Drew

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You want sit down?

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Thank you.

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Lie.

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At Graceland.

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At Graceland I look like I was
the world's youngest elves fan oh

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Cheers to that.

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Cheers.

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Hmm.

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So Emerson said you go to a lot of

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concerts who's your favourite band?

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All time or like right now?

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Right now. Maybe "Wolf pack"

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I love them.

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Yeah? I just I just saw them when I

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was visiting friends in New York.

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No way where?

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Prospect Park

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I was at that show.

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What or the first or second night?

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Uh...

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it was it the one where the girl
ran up on stage and she changed.

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Insecurity tackled her oh my God yes.

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Yeah.

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That was insane.

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So we go and ring the doorbell her

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parents let us in out of the pouring rain

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and then my brother sees a picture on

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the mantle with the little girl in it

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No.

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And he goes

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that's her that's the girl we picked up

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And then the wife the she starts sobbing

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uncontrollably

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the husband he the husband says she died

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15 years ago

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then he takes his hand and puts it on my shoulder

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and he says this happens every year since

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Oh my God.

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On the day she died.

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I have chills

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look I feel like Goosebumps.

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You feel cold?

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Here let me hear my sweater

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what what the shirt

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laundry day my orgasm donor shirts in the wash.

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So can I do this yet?

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Definitely I had such a good time.

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Same.

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Do me to walk you to car?

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Oh... I am okay thanks.

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Jesse.

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Oh my God.

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Okay that's hilarious.

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I told you it was in the wash

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Oh...

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I thought was gonna be late.

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No it just got here.

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I can't believe you're wearing the shirt.

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I thing I love this shirt.

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I don't want to go home yet I'm having such a good time.

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Well I can eat I saw a dinner on the way over here you

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want to follow me

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take a lift

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Today have hash browns or home fries

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hash browns they look disgusting this

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whole place looks disgusting and the

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French toast is 19 dollars.

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What?

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Actually

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I have eggs at my place

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can I make you an omelette

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I don't know

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do you have home fries.

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Drew?

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Hey I'm in the kitchen cooking breakfast

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can I borrow your shirt?

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Yeah top drawer

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Wieners.

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Master.

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Baiter.

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Morning wood.

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Oh my God.

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I put the art in fart.

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What the ffff...?

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You found one?

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Jesse?

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I forgot everything at work I gotta go

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Every single one

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not even a plain white tea? I thought I

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found one and then I unfolded it and

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there were cartoon pubes drawn on the

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bottom. That's pretty funny.

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That’s not funny. It's insane.

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Why don't you just ask him about it?

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I panicked I just left.

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Are you sure this isn't another
classic Jessie move where

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you you know find the flaw in an

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otherwise perfect guy? he had at least at

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least four shirts with the word suck on them.

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Okay I'm just saying you did dump a guy

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once because he wore cufflinks? they're

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strangely formal it's like wrist

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hearings

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didn't you say he was an ER doctor who

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helped uninsured children? yeah and after

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your first date you said you had never

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felt so close to another person so

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quickly.

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You said that.

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and

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wolf pack

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ugh... I know.

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Wolf pack.

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maybe you're right

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just go talk to the guy

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I'm glad you called.

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I'm excited to finally be able to cook for you.

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Can I talk to you about something?

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Yeah what's up

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With all these dirty joke shirts?

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It's all you wear.

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yeah they're hilarious

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are they?

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I don't know

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I spend my day in Scrub's operating on

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kids

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sometimes I have to tell their parents

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they didn't make it

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it's a lot

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so when I get a chance to wear some

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street clothes I guess I like to have a

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little fun with it

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Oh..

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that's actually so so sweet

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I'm an asshole.

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I'm glad we talked about this.

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I'm glad you're here.

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Bon appetite.

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Uh...

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I can't do this.

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Each day seems to be the same I wake up

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I drink some mushroom coffee and I go

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for a walk

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The only difference is that each day a

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different dog barks at me

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But I want to be remembered

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as a good guy

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hmm

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I need to think about it

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Meanwhile let's finish this story

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Good evening do you have a reservation?

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Hi uh... forgive me bad habits.

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Don't worry happens so do you have reservation?

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Yeah table

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for two name should be under a Robinson

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Robinson

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ah Mr Robinson follow me great hope you'll

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enjoy your meal with us? yeah thank you

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um I needed this actually had a week

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from hell. oh why what happened? well I

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plunged through an exam this morning.

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Congrats what do you study first year

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philosophy..UFT

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No way, I think my parents let me apply to philosophy.

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Yeah yeah my parents gave

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me a lot of Brief too you just have to

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commit to doing a fuck ton of readings

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yeah they say it's a dead end for my

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career but I guess they're right but

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it's a passion exactly exactly that's

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what I told my folks

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So...

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what brings you here nice hot Friday

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night date?

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Hot

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um... I don't know about that just yet it's

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a blind one

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Oh...

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Hi Gareth.

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Hi uh... Stephanie?

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That's me

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great hi

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Hi

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Um... oh

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Awesome.

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Okay, great thank you.

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So can I start you two off with anything

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to drink?

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I would like osahi... Just a
glass of water its fine, thank you.

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so Gareth

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yeah uh Stephanie tell me about yourself.

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I study first year UFT

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I oh great I go to UFT as well

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uhuh...

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um... philosophy

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first year two uh

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just like you

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So Gareth

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Water for you.

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and osahi for Aristotle I'm actually

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more of an Epicurus oh

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Sorry what's the Language would you speaking?

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Philosophy jinx

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Can I order it please?

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What will you be having?

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I haven't decided yet

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I'm ready I'll have the spicy tuna and

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dragon rolls please

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just the edamame and an avocado roll please

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Vegetarian? Yes.

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And no Wasabi either that comes on the

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side

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Great.

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And no Ginger either

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I'm not so spicy that also comes on the

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side

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hope you love birds enjoy your meal?

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so Garrett yeah

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um

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I see you're a vegetarian

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yes I care about living creatures and I

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care about our ecosystem and I care

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about the planets and ouch Gareth

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I'm so sorry

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what's the matter?

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You're asking what's the matter?

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That fish died for you is what's the

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fucking matter

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well fish are my friends but so is a

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chicken

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I'm sorry it was it was just a joke

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Oh...

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All you men have no fucking manners.

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Hey I'm sorry it's it's just my ADHD

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well then my OCD and view of today's

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society just aren't compatible whether

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we're sitting next to each other on a

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bus or having a hot anal sex in my

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apartment

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Huh.

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so last night not go too good? no it did

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not go so good so well

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corrected myself there I noticed you saw

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right

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yeah yeah

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so is this round number two? yeah

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so how is convincing your parents to let

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you apply philosophy going? good news I

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convinced them amazing you should apply

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to U of T I plan to you know

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we should celebrate sometime? yeah I'm

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down

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so is this guy

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howdy you must be good. hi Alexandra?

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Nice to meet you

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so I take your orders sir?

286
00:20:38.250 --> 00:20:41.708
I'll have the tempura shrimp and an

287
00:20:41.750 --> 00:20:43.041
order of the teriyaki beef

288
00:20:47.041 --> 00:20:47.750
Fine.

289
00:20:49.041 --> 00:20:50.000
Of course Thanks girl.

290
00:21:00.166 --> 00:21:03.333
So Gareth

291
00:21:03.375 --> 00:21:05.958
Alexandra

292
00:21:06.000 --> 00:21:09.124
I heard you study philosophy.

293
00:21:09.166 --> 00:21:12.166
What got you hooked?

294
00:21:12.250 --> 00:21:13.249
The

295
00:21:13.291 --> 00:21:15.083
this might sound a little bit weird but

296
00:21:15.125 --> 00:21:17.124
when I was in kindergarten I was

297
00:21:17.166 --> 00:21:19.749
diagnosed with ADHD it's made me think

298
00:21:19.791 --> 00:21:21.124
and feel differently from the other kids

299
00:21:21.166 --> 00:21:24.208
in my grade this inspired me to sort of

300
00:21:24.250 --> 00:21:26.333
figure out why the world made me this

301
00:21:26.375 --> 00:21:27.249
way

302
00:21:27.291 --> 00:21:30.124
one of the benefits of having ADHD other

303
00:21:30.166 --> 00:21:31.958
than being really hyper is that you get

304
00:21:32.000 --> 00:21:34.749
fixated on these things

305
00:21:34.791 --> 00:21:36.749
small things I got fixed on reading

306
00:21:36.791 --> 00:21:39.749
books different books about different

307
00:21:39.791 --> 00:21:41.208
people's views on the world and it sort

308
00:21:41.250 --> 00:21:43.374
of made me realise like Jim Morrison

309
00:21:43.416 --> 00:21:46.208
would say that I was

310
00:21:46.250 --> 00:21:48.124
thrown into the world this way which

311
00:21:48.166 --> 00:21:52.208
made it my destiny to be a philosopher

312
00:21:52.250 --> 00:21:54.375
what about you Alex?

313
00:21:54.750 --> 00:21:57.333
what do you study? I'm sorry if I'm overwhelming you too

314
00:21:57.375 --> 00:21:59.708
much no

315
00:21:59.750 --> 00:22:01.166
um this kind of Energies

316
00:22:02.166 --> 00:22:03.124
Hot.

317
00:22:06.291 --> 00:22:09.999
I go to York for psych

318
00:22:10.041 --> 00:22:12.083
I guess to why I chose a screw path

319
00:22:12.125 --> 00:22:13.124
that's because you only needed to see in

320
00:22:13.166 --> 00:22:15.124
high school to get in but I'm in a

321
00:22:15.166 --> 00:22:18.125
sorority so that's kind of memories

322
00:22:18.916 --> 00:22:20.125
You know what I'm saying?

323
00:22:20.750 --> 00:22:23.958
Yeah cool

324
00:22:24.000 --> 00:22:25.124
so

325
00:22:25.166 --> 00:22:27.124
Have you decided on dinner yet by any

326
00:22:27.166 --> 00:22:27.791
chance?

327
00:22:28.291 --> 00:22:29.166
Oh yeah...

328
00:22:35.291 --> 00:22:38.124
oh hi but you're gonna have to change

329
00:22:38.166 --> 00:22:40.708
your order? hey

330
00:22:40.750 --> 00:22:43.166
oh

331
00:22:45.291 --> 00:22:47.708
got you there

332
00:22:47.750 --> 00:22:49.875
um

333
00:22:50.166 --> 00:22:51.749
I'll

334
00:22:51.791 --> 00:22:53.375
happily change my order

335
00:22:59.566 --> 00:23:00.166
Oh...

336
00:23:06.500 --> 00:23:08.833
I came here for all right

337
00:23:08.875 --> 00:23:09.875
all right

338
00:23:10.291 --> 00:23:13.166
Oh… Let’s come... in this Laboratory...

339
00:23:22.750 --> 00:23:23.350
Opss...

340
00:23:25.875 --> 00:23:27.250
don't worry I don't fight

341
00:23:35.166 --> 00:23:36.166
What?

342
00:23:38.750 --> 00:23:40.166
What you want clock walker?

343
00:23:40.250 --> 00:23:41.416
I am sorry we are closing.

344
00:23:41.875 --> 00:23:42.875
Let’s me swap.

345
00:23:44.125 --> 00:23:47.166
I told you were...

346
00:23:48.125 --> 00:23:50.124
so sorry

347
00:23:50.166 --> 00:23:53.124
I'll leave you to be

348
00:24:08.750 --> 00:24:10.708
oh hey sport do you uh do you have a

349
00:24:10.750 --> 00:24:12.083
reservation?

350
00:24:12.125 --> 00:24:14.124
Yeah a table for two

351
00:24:14.166 --> 00:24:16.124
could be under Robinson

352
00:24:16.166 --> 00:24:19.333
oh yes yes Mr Robinson come with me your

353
00:24:19.375 --> 00:24:22.124
date's right over here great go get him

354
00:24:22.166 --> 00:24:23.958
tiger

355
00:24:24.000 --> 00:24:26.500
and uh have that big dick energy yeah

356
00:24:33.850 --> 00:24:35.833
wow hi scary

357
00:24:35.875 --> 00:24:36.958
Roxanne? Yeah. That’s me.

358
00:24:37.000 --> 00:24:39.124
Hi nice to meet you

359
00:24:39.166 --> 00:24:41.249
nice to meet you

360
00:24:41.291 --> 00:24:42.166
um… ops...

361
00:24:42.291 --> 00:24:43.916
My chair is there.

362
00:24:45.250 --> 00:24:47.208
Um...

363
00:24:47.250 --> 00:24:50.916
oh thanks

364
00:24:53.600 --> 00:24:56.124
so yeah tell me about yourself? I'd love

365
00:24:56.166 --> 00:24:58.291
to

366
00:24:59.250 --> 00:25:02.708
Sorry if I just cut you off with my ADHD

367
00:25:02.750 --> 00:25:06.124
I actually have ADHD too. really? yeah oh

368
00:25:06.166 --> 00:25:08.124
well this was meant to be I heard you

369
00:25:08.166 --> 00:25:11.083
study psychology? philosophy yeah yes

370
00:25:11.125 --> 00:25:12.958
I've actually recently gotten into human emotions,

371
00:25:13.000 --> 00:25:14.958
Understanding certain types of people in general

372
00:25:15.000 --> 00:25:17.874
How they feel, their likes,
their dislikes their wants

373
00:25:17.916 --> 00:25:19.208
their goals, desires

374
00:25:19.250 --> 00:25:22.124
I'm film major, York University
in the fine arts department

375
00:25:22.166 --> 00:25:24.083
and I know what you're thinking life

376
00:25:24.125 --> 00:25:25.833
choices but I feel like it's going to

377
00:25:25.875 --> 00:25:27.208
help me in how I direct my actors as a

378
00:25:27.250 --> 00:25:29.124
whole yeah cool

379
00:25:29.166 --> 00:25:31.958
really? yeah thank you you're so sweet

380
00:25:32.000 --> 00:25:34.124
you're sweet thank you thank you what's

381
00:25:34.166 --> 00:25:35.833
your favourite movie? mom will be Mother

382
00:25:35.875 --> 00:25:39.124
by Darren Aronofsky?

383
00:25:39.166 --> 00:25:42.333
Sorry I yeah don't be I understand why

384
00:25:42.375 --> 00:25:46.125
you wouldn't like Aronofsky's work

385
00:25:48.166 --> 00:25:51.333
yeah I'm really sorry but um

386
00:25:51.375 --> 00:25:53.124
I can't do this

387
00:25:53.166 --> 00:25:55.124
do what?

388
00:25:55.166 --> 00:25:58.083
Oh watch Requiem for a Dream

389
00:25:58.125 --> 00:26:00.083
oh my God I'm so bad for dinner can you

390
00:26:00.125 --> 00:26:03.166
just listen to me for a second?

391
00:26:04.125 --> 00:26:06.124
I'm sorry for yelling I'm sorry for

392
00:26:06.166 --> 00:26:10.124
making a mess I'm fine I am

393
00:26:10.166 --> 00:26:13.124
I yell and I spill drinks all the

394
00:26:13.166 --> 00:26:14.833
fucking time I just don't think this is

395
00:26:14.875 --> 00:26:16.208
gonna work

396
00:26:18.000 --> 00:26:22.083
you seem lovely but

397
00:26:22.125 --> 00:26:25.124
so what's wrong? no no it's nothing that

398
00:26:25.166 --> 00:26:28.833
you did it's totally completely me at

399
00:26:28.875 --> 00:26:31.124
I'm really sorry

400
00:26:31.166 --> 00:26:33.124
I hope you have a great

401
00:26:33.166 --> 00:26:35.916
meal.

402
00:26:55.166 --> 00:26:56.166
Hey.

403
00:26:57.166 --> 00:26:59.750
Hey

404
00:28:24.016 --> 00:28:28.749
no it's just stupid a flammable dildo?

405
00:28:28.791 --> 00:28:30.791
Children are probably going to watch

406
00:28:30.833 --> 00:28:32.416
this

407
00:28:32.458 --> 00:28:36.291
noooo... I need to write something else

408
00:28:36.333 --> 00:28:39.499
when you hear anorexic I know what you

409
00:28:39.541 --> 00:28:43.499
think young girl teens maybe early 20s

410
00:28:43.541 --> 00:28:46.749
definitely Rich parents that beg her to

411
00:28:46.791 --> 00:28:49.249
eat dinner and when she won't they cry

412
00:28:49.291 --> 00:28:51.666
and group hug and check her into a posh

413
00:28:51.708 --> 00:28:54.374
rehab where she meets other Rich Young

414
00:28:54.416 --> 00:28:56.541
equally dark and quirky people and they

415
00:28:56.583 --> 00:28:58.874
do shit like goat yoga and Equine

416
00:28:58.916 --> 00:29:00.791
Therapy all fucking day then she

417
00:29:00.833 --> 00:29:03.249
Instagrams her thigh gap and hashtags it

418
00:29:03.291 --> 00:29:05.708
with things like size double zero skinny

419
00:29:05.750 --> 00:29:09.874
fat Anna Mia thinspo ugly and self-hate

420
00:29:09.916 --> 00:29:12.749
maybe in a lifetime movie none of that's

421
00:29:12.791 --> 00:29:13.666
me

422
00:29:13.708 --> 00:29:16.499
Okay maybe the Instagram thing only when

423
00:29:16.541 --> 00:29:19.624
I need reassurance but otherwise not me

424
00:29:19.666 --> 00:29:22.666
your grateful narrator is definitely not

425
00:29:22.708 --> 00:29:23.666
rich

426
00:29:23.708 --> 00:29:26.499
in fact I'm super late on my rent right

427
00:29:26.541 --> 00:29:28.666
now which is really pathetic because I

428
00:29:28.708 --> 00:29:30.499
just live in a shitty room I found on

429
00:29:30.541 --> 00:29:32.416
Craigslist in this house owned by a

430
00:29:32.458 --> 00:29:34.249
creepy old dude who looks like he wants

431
00:29:34.291 --> 00:29:36.874
to rape me or eat me with a glass of

432
00:29:36.916 --> 00:29:38.791
Chianti

433
00:29:38.833 --> 00:29:40.749
I know what you're thinking

434
00:29:40.791 --> 00:29:43.458
she doesn't look anorexic she's way too

435
00:29:43.500 --> 00:29:44.916
fucking fat

436
00:29:44.958 --> 00:29:47.666
well I'm in recovery asshole so how

437
00:29:47.708 --> 00:29:49.249
about a little support

438
00:29:49.291 --> 00:29:52.666
but I am a starving artist ah pun

439
00:29:52.708 --> 00:29:53.666
intended

440
00:29:53.708 --> 00:29:56.499
so it's totally acceptable to be poor

441
00:29:56.541 --> 00:30:01.249
and spottily employed at 24 25.

442
00:30:01.291 --> 00:30:04.624
Okay 26 to 36 it's probably a good thing

443
00:30:04.666 --> 00:30:06.791
I've had to struggle so much you know it

444
00:30:06.833 --> 00:30:10.499
makes me a richer actor builds character

445
00:30:10.541 --> 00:30:12.666
it's going to happen for me soon though

446
00:30:12.708 --> 00:30:13.749
I know it

447
00:30:13.791 --> 00:30:17.624
I'm a very positive optimistic person

448
00:30:17.666 --> 00:30:19.041
and I'm not one of those actresses who's

449
00:30:19.083 --> 00:30:20.666
never done anything

450
00:30:20.708 --> 00:30:22.874
I was just on three episodes of a

451
00:30:22.916 --> 00:30:26.291
relatively successful web series

452
00:30:26.333 --> 00:30:28.666
it sucks because I'm five foot eight and

453
00:30:28.708 --> 00:30:30.874
a quarter so my weight never sounds

454
00:30:30.916 --> 00:30:33.666
skinny no matter what my best weight was

455
00:30:33.708 --> 00:30:36.541
106 which was really an accomplishment

456
00:30:36.583 --> 00:30:38.291
but unfortunately it doesn't sound very

457
00:30:38.333 --> 00:30:40.874
dramatic everybody flipped when the

458
00:30:40.916 --> 00:30:43.499
Olsen twins got down to like 80 pounds

459
00:30:43.541 --> 00:30:46.249
but they're wet maybe five feet tall and

460
00:30:46.291 --> 00:30:47.666
it's five pounds for every inch so

461
00:30:47.708 --> 00:30:49.874
comparatively I'd be equivalent to their

462
00:30:49.916 --> 00:30:52.874
80 pound alleged skinniness at 120

463
00:30:52.916 --> 00:30:55.749
pounds so unfair why am I weighing

464
00:30:55.791 --> 00:30:58.874
myself if I'm supposed to be in recovery

465
00:30:58.916 --> 00:31:01.666
of course I weigh myself every day how

466
00:31:01.708 --> 00:31:02.874
else are you supposed to know how you're

467
00:31:02.916 --> 00:31:04.791
going to feel about yourself that day

468
00:31:04.833 --> 00:31:08.749
totally kidding I know my value is not a

469
00:31:08.791 --> 00:31:10.749
number on the scale blah blah

470
00:31:10.791 --> 00:31:12.666
mother fucking blah

471
00:31:12.708 --> 00:31:16.249
so anyway not to worry your big boned

472
00:31:16.291 --> 00:31:18.666
narrator has got her shit together

473
00:31:18.708 --> 00:31:21.291
oh that's Mandy she wanted to walk with

474
00:31:21.333 --> 00:31:22.499
me today

475
00:31:22.541 --> 00:31:23.666
should I wait?

476
00:31:23.708 --> 00:31:26.666
Oh she'll catch up. So Mandy and our

477
00:31:26.708 --> 00:31:28.666
other friend Shelly and me were all best

478
00:31:28.708 --> 00:31:30.666
friends in high school but they were the

479
00:31:30.708 --> 00:31:32.749
popular cheerleaders National Honor

480
00:31:32.791 --> 00:31:35.666
Society life at the parties I was the

481
00:31:35.708 --> 00:31:37.499
third wheel who always got a little too

482
00:31:37.541 --> 00:31:38.916
drunk at the parties and everything that

483
00:31:38.958 --> 00:31:40.499
came with that

484
00:31:40.541 --> 00:31:42.249
they were supposed to have peaked in

485
00:31:42.291 --> 00:31:44.416
high school I believed those after

486
00:31:44.458 --> 00:31:45.749
school specials that told me things

487
00:31:45.791 --> 00:31:47.749
would get better after high school when

488
00:31:47.791 --> 00:31:49.666
I could be my real self

489
00:31:49.708 --> 00:31:51.624
but everything keeps working out for

490
00:31:51.666 --> 00:31:52.624
them

491
00:31:52.666 --> 00:31:54.249
Fuck. Maybe I'm the one who peaked in

492
00:31:54.291 --> 00:31:56.541
high school nope nope no more feeling

493
00:31:56.583 --> 00:31:58.708
sorry for myself I promise

494
00:32:01.041 --> 00:32:03.416
oh I already ate

495
00:32:03.458 --> 00:32:05.916
Lizzy you look great which obviously

496
00:32:05.958 --> 00:32:07.749
means I look fat I guess I don't really

497
00:32:07.791 --> 00:32:09.749
worry about it anymore

498
00:32:09.791 --> 00:32:14.416
380 maybe 400 calories in a slice

499
00:32:14.458 --> 00:32:17.666
200 for half wine 140 calories of glass

500
00:32:17.708 --> 00:32:20.833
there's vodka in my room 65 calories a shot

501
00:32:25.541 --> 00:32:27.416
You are so lucky to be single

502
00:32:27.458 --> 00:32:29.666
you don't have someone checking on you

503
00:32:29.708 --> 00:32:32.541
every five minutes yeah renting a room

504
00:32:32.583 --> 00:32:35.499
from creepy Chianti Craigslist's guys way better.

505
00:32:35.541 --> 00:32:37.749
So. Have you gotten a job yet?

506
00:32:37.791 --> 00:32:39.666
I know you're still doing the acting thing

507
00:32:39.708 --> 00:32:41.624
but I mean like a job job

508
00:32:41.666 --> 00:32:44.833
I'm sorry did I order judgment on my pizza?

509
00:32:44.875 --> 00:32:47.416
Yeah I have a lot of leads

510
00:32:47.458 --> 00:32:49.624
tell me about you

511
00:32:49.666 --> 00:32:52.374
what's it like being a mom just get past

512
00:32:52.416 --> 00:32:54.874
the pizza be stronger than the pizza

513
00:32:54.916 --> 00:32:57.666
another glass of wine is better it's in

514
00:32:57.708 --> 00:32:59.666
vodka if I need it

515
00:32:59.708 --> 00:33:01.791
not gonna lie

516
00:33:01.833 --> 00:33:04.666
but it is just

517
00:33:04.708 --> 00:33:08.374
so 400 plus one of the most amazing 270

518
00:33:08.416 --> 00:33:12.749
or 280 plus BMR of about 13.50 so 2150

519
00:33:12.791 --> 00:33:14.666
burned so

520
00:33:14.708 --> 00:33:16.624
um have you been on Instagram today?

521
00:33:16.666 --> 00:33:18.666
No.

522
00:33:18.708 --> 00:33:20.291
Why?

523
00:33:20.333 --> 00:33:21.541
Okay

524
00:33:21.583 --> 00:33:23.666
I'm gonna tell you something but I don't

525
00:33:23.708 --> 00:33:24.749
want you to go on one of your downward

526
00:33:24.791 --> 00:33:26.291
spirals

527
00:33:26.333 --> 00:33:27.666
then maybe you shouldn't say it like

528
00:33:27.708 --> 00:33:29.291
that

529
00:33:29.333 --> 00:33:31.541
Shelley booked a series regular on TV.

530
00:33:31.583 --> 00:33:33.791
No fucking way. Wow.

531
00:33:35.708 --> 00:33:37.666
you both have been doing this a really

532
00:33:37.708 --> 00:33:39.708
long time so you know how hard that is

533
00:33:42.708 --> 00:33:46.874
or that entitled lucky ass bitch can go fuck herself.

534
00:33:46.916 --> 00:33:50.499
Of course of course

535
00:33:50.541 --> 00:33:52.749
of course doesn't that give you some

536
00:33:52.791 --> 00:33:54.666
sort of Hope

537
00:33:54.708 --> 00:33:56.541
you guys have the same agent right

538
00:33:57.708 --> 00:34:00.374
Yes we have the same fucking agent.

539
00:34:00.416 --> 00:34:02.666
Why would he get Shelly that audition

540
00:34:02.708 --> 00:34:03.916
and not me?

541
00:34:03.958 --> 00:34:05.874
She's not fucking cankles

542
00:34:05.916 --> 00:34:07.666
he probably wants to fuck her

543
00:34:07.708 --> 00:34:10.666
or he wants to fuck with my head

544
00:34:10.708 --> 00:34:12.666
of course he's still mad at
me from what

545
00:34:12.708 --> 00:34:14.666
I know showed that one audition that was

546
00:34:14.708 --> 00:34:16.666
totally not my fault

547
00:34:16.708 --> 00:34:19.249
he's a psychological ninja gaslighting

548
00:34:19.291 --> 00:34:20.791
narcissistic motherfucker. Elizabeth

549
00:34:22.708 --> 00:34:24.791
you're bloated struggling narrator is

550
00:34:24.833 --> 00:34:26.499
sick of everybody emotionally

551
00:34:26.541 --> 00:34:27.666
waterboarding her

552
00:34:34.958 --> 00:34:36.666
You might think I'm crazy for riding

553
00:34:36.708 --> 00:34:40.666
alone at 2:30 in the morning but I'm not

554
00:34:40.708 --> 00:34:43.541
what else am I supposed to do

555
00:34:43.583 --> 00:34:45.874
I'm not one of those people that says

556
00:34:45.916 --> 00:34:47.666
I'll start tomorrow

557
00:34:47.708 --> 00:34:49.749
that's how 70 percent of Americans got

558
00:34:49.791 --> 00:34:51.666
to be overweight or obese

559
00:34:52.916 --> 00:34:54.666
I know I'm not worried about anybody

560
00:34:54.708 --> 00:34:56.749
attacking me or anything I'm so fat and

561
00:34:56.791 --> 00:34:58.624
gross right now nobody's gonna try to

562
00:34:58.666 --> 00:35:00.749
rape me

563
00:35:00.791 --> 00:35:03.416
right now you're probably thinking I

564
00:35:03.458 --> 00:35:06.666
look like a hopeless whiny pitiful mess

565
00:35:06.708 --> 00:35:08.666
maybe you can't stand me right now maybe

566
00:35:08.708 --> 00:35:11.666
you're like can she fucking shut up.

567
00:35:11.708 --> 00:35:12.624
I get it

568
00:35:12.666 --> 00:35:15.249
I completely fucking agree

569
00:35:15.291 --> 00:35:17.916
you're worthless fat ass narrator knows

570
00:35:17.958 --> 00:35:20.583
exactly how shitty of a person she is

571
00:36:09.666 --> 00:36:14.416
You know how some time you
have one bite and you just can't stop

572
00:36:14.458 --> 00:36:15.666
I guess that's kind of what happened

573
00:36:15.708 --> 00:36:17.666
last night

574
00:36:17.708 --> 00:36:20.249
but don't worry you're self-deprecating

575
00:36:20.291 --> 00:36:21.874
narrator has got it totally under

576
00:36:21.916 --> 00:36:23.874
control

577
00:36:23.916 --> 00:36:27.374
I just need to outrun my fuck up just

578
00:36:27.416 --> 00:36:30.791
not eat today then I will be healthy and

579
00:36:30.833 --> 00:36:33.416
optimistic and positive and shit.

580
00:36:33.458 --> 00:36:34.624
I will

581
00:36:34.666 --> 00:36:36.458
I'll I'll start tomorrow

582
00:37:05.541 --> 00:37:06.499
Yeah...

583
00:37:06.541 --> 00:37:11.041
Lord Voldemort on the toilet that could work

584
00:37:11.083 --> 00:37:14.666
but how am I going to hide his nose?

585
00:37:14.708 --> 00:37:17.749
Also he needs to be shaved

586
00:37:17.791 --> 00:37:18.833
anyway

587
00:37:19.041 --> 00:37:20.666
Uh...

588
00:37:20.833 --> 00:37:23.499
that was something

589
00:37:23.541 --> 00:37:25.999
I didn't know I could write so many

590
00:37:26.041 --> 00:37:28.999
stories in less than an hour it has the

591
00:37:29.041 --> 00:37:31.291
potential to be a nice

592
00:37:31.333 --> 00:37:34.458
pattern the brain not only receives

593
00:37:34.500 --> 00:37:37.083
information but also interprets and

594
00:37:37.125 --> 00:37:41.624
patterns it I can tell I'm pleased with

595
00:37:41.666 --> 00:37:42.791
myself

596
00:37:42.833 --> 00:37:46.458
oh shit. I knew I should have drunk five

597
00:37:46.500 --> 00:37:49.499
mushroom coffees in her own time will

598
00:37:49.541 --> 00:37:51.458
not slow down when something unpleasant

599
00:37:51.500 --> 00:37:53.833
lies at the bottom of your stomach.

600
00:37:54.458 --> 00:37:58.791
I'll finish the other characters some other time.