WEBVTT FILE 1 00:00:01.669 --> 00:00:04.336 (ominous music) 2 00:00:02.000 --> 00:00:07.000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 3 00:00:08.000 --> 00:00:13.000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 4 00:00:22.469 --> 00:00:24.969 (man panting) 5 00:00:33.720 --> 00:00:36.137 (man groans) 6 00:00:44.240 --> 00:00:48.573 (creature speaking in the distance) 7 00:00:58.680 --> 00:01:01.180 (tense music) 8 00:01:02.479 --> 00:01:05.146 (man screaming) 9 00:01:06.449 --> 00:01:08.729 (blood squelching) (creature laughing) 10 00:01:08.731 --> 00:01:13.710 ♪ It's a beautiful day and I'm feeling happy ♪ 11 00:01:13.712 --> 00:01:16.070 ♪ I'm feeling fine ♪ 12 00:01:16.072 --> 00:01:18.609 ♪ It's a beautiful day ♪ 13 00:01:18.611 --> 00:01:23.230 ♪ Don't waste this sunshine ♪ ♪ It'll be all right ♪ 14 00:01:23.232 --> 00:01:27.739 ♪ It's a beautiful day ♪ ♪ And I'm feeling happy ♪ 15 00:01:27.741 --> 00:01:30.387 ♪ I'm feeling fine ♪ 16 00:01:30.389 --> 00:01:32.838 ♪ It's a beautiful day ♪ 17 00:01:32.840 --> 00:01:34.878 ♪ Don't waste this sunshine ♪ 18 00:01:34.880 --> 00:01:37.859 ♪ It'll be all right ♪ 19 00:01:37.861 --> 00:01:41.425 ♪ Sun is out ♪ 20 00:01:41.427 --> 00:01:44.774 ♪ Days are long ♪ 21 00:01:44.776 --> 00:01:47.846 ♪ Ice-cream in my hand ♪ 22 00:01:47.848 --> 00:01:52.465 ♪ Nothing could be wrong ♪ 23 00:01:52.467 --> 00:01:57.467 ♪ Bright skies hanging over my head ♪ 24 00:01:58.779 --> 00:02:01.745 ♪ Feel the warmth of the sun's rays ♪ 25 00:02:01.747 --> 00:02:04.947 ♪ Smiling as she said ♪ 26 00:02:04.949 --> 00:02:07.777 ♪ And I know and I know ♪ 27 00:02:07.779 --> 00:02:12.075 ♪ It'll be all right ♪ 28 00:02:12.077 --> 00:02:14.867 ♪ And I know and I know ♪ 29 00:02:14.869 --> 00:02:19.067 ♪ It'll be all right ♪ 30 00:02:19.069 --> 00:02:23.204 ♪ Because it's a beautiful day and I'm feeling happy ♪ 31 00:02:23.206 --> 00:02:25.198 - [Willy] This is Wacky Willy, the voice of 32 00:02:25.200 --> 00:02:27.418 The Old's Golf Club Radio. 33 00:02:27.420 --> 00:02:28.486 Yes, it's a beautiful day, 34 00:02:28.488 --> 00:02:31.218 but it's gonna be a tee-riffic weekend 35 00:02:31.220 --> 00:02:34.018 at the Complete and Putter Madness Golf Tournament. 36 00:02:34.020 --> 00:02:35.094 No, if, and- 37 00:02:35.096 --> 00:02:37.846 (Landon yelling) 38 00:02:39.717 --> 00:02:42.224 - Turn that off! - What? 39 00:02:42.226 --> 00:02:44.428 - Turn that fucking thing off! 40 00:02:44.430 --> 00:02:45.448 - I can't understand you. 41 00:02:45.450 --> 00:02:47.150 Let me try and cut this thing off. 42 00:02:48.300 --> 00:02:49.653 - Why doesn't he just move? 43 00:02:50.801 --> 00:02:52.190 - No, stop. 44 00:02:52.192 --> 00:02:53.909 - Sorry about that. 45 00:02:53.911 --> 00:02:56.299 - Turn that fucking thing off. 46 00:02:56.301 --> 00:02:57.951 - Sometimes these old things get stuck. 47 00:02:57.953 --> 00:03:00.290 Usually not a problem, 48 00:03:00.292 --> 00:03:02.881 usually not pointing right in someones face. 49 00:03:02.883 --> 00:03:05.703 - Just turn that fucking thing off. 50 00:03:08.430 --> 00:03:10.048 I just- (man yells) 51 00:03:10.050 --> 00:03:11.973 - Sorry. Sorry about that. 52 00:03:15.030 --> 00:03:17.643 Don't touch me with your retarded jizz rag. 53 00:03:20.400 --> 00:03:24.898 As I was saying, I just came down to say 54 00:03:24.900 --> 00:03:28.348 what an amazing job you're doing with the course. 55 00:03:28.350 --> 00:03:30.089 - Well, thanks Mr. Landon. 56 00:03:30.091 --> 00:03:32.668 I've been trying really hard for you. 57 00:03:32.670 --> 00:03:35.638 - This weekend is a very important weekend for me 58 00:03:35.640 --> 00:03:39.988 and the club, and I couldn't be happier with the greens. 59 00:03:39.990 --> 00:03:43.198 You may be one of the biggest pieces of worthless shit 60 00:03:43.200 --> 00:03:44.818 I've ever laid eyes on, 61 00:03:44.820 --> 00:03:47.878 but Goddamn, you can take care of grass. 62 00:03:47.880 --> 00:03:51.470 - It's all thanks to my special fertilizer, 63 00:03:51.472 --> 00:03:53.223 it's my own secret recipe. 64 00:03:54.510 --> 00:03:55.503 - That fertilizer? 65 00:03:56.430 --> 00:03:58.378 That I just drank a half a gallon of? 66 00:03:58.380 --> 00:03:59.518 - The very same. 67 00:03:59.520 --> 00:04:00.723 - What's in that stuff? 68 00:04:03.000 --> 00:04:08.000 - Nitrogen, potassium, phosphorus, 69 00:04:08.970 --> 00:04:10.438 which aids in photosynthesis. 70 00:04:10.440 --> 00:04:11.271 - Of course. 71 00:04:11.273 --> 00:04:14.728 - Micronutrients, dechlorinate acid, 72 00:04:14.730 --> 00:04:18.898 tetracycline acid, bleach, ammonia. 73 00:04:18.900 --> 00:04:22.353 And of course my secret family additives. 74 00:04:24.660 --> 00:04:25.828 - Which are? 75 00:04:25.830 --> 00:04:28.233 - Well, sir, if I told you that, 76 00:04:29.190 --> 00:04:31.623 with all due respect I'd have to kill you. 77 00:04:34.110 --> 00:04:34.943 - Yes. 78 00:04:36.210 --> 00:04:38.589 And this is safe for people? 79 00:04:38.591 --> 00:04:39.841 - I mean, sure. 80 00:04:40.710 --> 00:04:44.703 I huff it all the time and I'm fine. 81 00:04:46.260 --> 00:04:47.458 - Yeah. 82 00:04:47.460 --> 00:04:48.723 What about the animals? 83 00:04:49.860 --> 00:04:51.628 - I haven't seen them huffing it. 84 00:04:51.630 --> 00:04:54.003 - No, you boob, is it safe for them? 85 00:04:55.290 --> 00:04:56.253 - Probably not. 86 00:04:58.180 --> 00:05:00.898 - Oh well, fuck 'em. (laughs) 87 00:05:00.900 --> 00:05:03.418 They don't pay any dues on the greens anyway. 88 00:05:03.420 --> 00:05:05.548 As long as my big money friends are safe 89 00:05:05.550 --> 00:05:08.398 to knock around some balls, that's all I care about. 90 00:05:08.400 --> 00:05:11.079 (both laughing) 91 00:05:11.081 --> 00:05:13.748 (siren blaring) 92 00:05:16.862 --> 00:05:17.695 - Oh no. 93 00:05:19.072 --> 00:05:20.488 Oh no. 94 00:05:20.490 --> 00:05:21.753 Not on my good weekend. 95 00:05:28.607 --> 00:05:31.190 (upbeat music) 96 00:05:38.430 --> 00:05:40.258 - What you doing, Googie? 97 00:05:40.260 --> 00:05:41.361 - Reading. 98 00:05:41.363 --> 00:05:42.194 - Reading? 99 00:05:42.196 --> 00:05:43.622 - What the hell are you reading for? 100 00:05:43.624 --> 00:05:45.118 - Yeah, why you reading? 101 00:05:45.120 --> 00:05:48.091 Trying to transform words into pictures in your brain? 102 00:05:48.093 --> 00:05:50.728 - I don't know. I just like reading. 103 00:05:50.730 --> 00:05:51.688 - You like reading. 104 00:05:51.690 --> 00:05:53.548 - Oh, you like reading, huh? 105 00:05:53.550 --> 00:05:54.381 - Yeah. 106 00:05:54.383 --> 00:05:55.768 - Well, we got something for you to read. 107 00:05:55.770 --> 00:05:57.688 - Yeah, read this. 108 00:05:57.690 --> 00:06:00.058 It's called You, Me and Everyone. 109 00:06:00.060 --> 00:06:03.688 Making life better for your friends, family and the world. 110 00:06:03.690 --> 00:06:05.968 I think it may help you with some of the social anxiety 111 00:06:05.970 --> 00:06:07.768 you seem to exude here at the club. 112 00:06:07.770 --> 00:06:08.938 - Changed my life. 113 00:06:08.940 --> 00:06:11.848 I think I'd still be in the closet without this. 114 00:06:11.850 --> 00:06:13.108 - You're gay, Smitty? 115 00:06:13.110 --> 00:06:14.278 - Oh, I wish. 116 00:06:14.280 --> 00:06:15.748 I was actually trapped in the closet. 117 00:06:15.750 --> 00:06:17.098 Luckily I found this book, 118 00:06:17.100 --> 00:06:19.048 grabbed it and whacked away at the door 119 00:06:19.050 --> 00:06:20.488 until the handle fell off. 120 00:06:20.490 --> 00:06:21.363 Saved my life. 121 00:06:23.219 --> 00:06:25.719 (man panting) 122 00:06:31.811 --> 00:06:34.768 (cat screeches) 123 00:06:34.770 --> 00:06:35.920 - What is it, hole boy? 124 00:06:37.740 --> 00:06:39.513 - Something happened on hole 15? 125 00:06:41.820 --> 00:06:43.014 - It's Gordy? 126 00:06:43.016 --> 00:06:44.466 What, what happened to Gordy? 127 00:06:47.296 --> 00:06:48.846 - You're shitting me, hole boy. 128 00:06:56.851 --> 00:06:59.601 (hole boy farts) 129 00:07:07.786 --> 00:07:10.203 (indistinct) 130 00:07:14.910 --> 00:07:17.518 - For the love of all that's worth my time, 131 00:07:17.520 --> 00:07:18.718 what happened here? 132 00:07:18.720 --> 00:07:20.038 - Looks like one of your employees 133 00:07:20.040 --> 00:07:21.658 didn't make it home last night- 134 00:07:21.660 --> 00:07:23.818 - I don't care about him. 135 00:07:23.820 --> 00:07:26.913 What happened to my beautiful landscaping here? 136 00:07:27.900 --> 00:07:32.158 I have the biggest tournament of the season this weekend, 137 00:07:32.160 --> 00:07:34.833 and you are putting chalk lines on my greens. 138 00:07:36.780 --> 00:07:38.128 - Sir, please listen to me. 139 00:07:38.130 --> 00:07:39.423 My hat says police. 140 00:07:41.580 --> 00:07:42.658 Sir. 141 00:07:42.660 --> 00:07:43.491 Sir. 142 00:07:43.493 --> 00:07:46.263 I'm gonna need you to stop contaminating my crime scene. 143 00:07:48.090 --> 00:07:49.738 - Your crime scene? 144 00:07:49.740 --> 00:07:51.778 - That's what I said. - You're crime scene? 145 00:07:51.780 --> 00:07:54.028 What about my golf course? 146 00:07:54.030 --> 00:07:56.968 I can't have my members playing through a dead caddy. 147 00:07:56.970 --> 00:07:59.968 Do you know what will happen if my members see this? 148 00:07:59.970 --> 00:08:02.068 You think they wanna think about death here 149 00:08:02.070 --> 00:08:04.168 at the Old Glory Holes Golf Club? 150 00:08:04.170 --> 00:08:06.058 No, they don't. 151 00:08:06.060 --> 00:08:07.618 If they wanted to think about death 152 00:08:07.620 --> 00:08:10.168 they'd stay at home with their wives. 153 00:08:10.170 --> 00:08:12.958 They come here to forget about death. 154 00:08:12.960 --> 00:08:15.460 - Well, we at least have to wait for an ambulance. 155 00:08:16.860 --> 00:08:18.118 - The ambulance? 156 00:08:18.120 --> 00:08:20.698 You wanna drive an ambulance on my golf course? 157 00:08:20.700 --> 00:08:21.858 - That's what I said, didn't I? 158 00:08:21.860 --> 00:08:23.548 - On my greens? 159 00:08:23.550 --> 00:08:26.908 Two days before the biggest event of the year? 160 00:08:26.910 --> 00:08:30.208 Do you know what type of money plays through here? 161 00:08:30.210 --> 00:08:32.373 Policeman's ball money, 162 00:08:33.450 --> 00:08:36.178 killed an unarmed 10 year old kid, 163 00:08:36.180 --> 00:08:38.758 need to not go to jail money. 164 00:08:38.760 --> 00:08:41.003 - How would you like us to get rid of the body? 165 00:08:44.088 --> 00:08:46.888 - This is why I have money 166 00:08:46.890 --> 00:08:49.113 and you're just some golf pig. 167 00:08:50.130 --> 00:08:53.038 I have ideas, thoughts. 168 00:08:53.040 --> 00:08:54.598 The best thoughts. 169 00:08:54.600 --> 00:08:57.058 If you had half the thoughts I had in one night, 170 00:08:57.060 --> 00:09:00.868 you'd be, well, you wouldn't be right here right now. 171 00:09:00.870 --> 00:09:01.833 Watch and learn. 172 00:09:02.850 --> 00:09:06.243 Watch and learn, stupid. 173 00:09:07.992 --> 00:09:10.659 (playful music) 174 00:09:14.547 --> 00:09:17.297 (body crunching) 175 00:09:55.272 --> 00:09:56.653 (man farts) 176 00:09:56.655 --> 00:09:59.322 (camera clicks) 177 00:10:00.296 --> 00:10:03.431 - Ugh, gross. You liquified him. 178 00:10:03.433 --> 00:10:06.266 (body squelching) 179 00:10:21.870 --> 00:10:24.823 - You want the real stuff? Right here. 180 00:10:24.825 --> 00:10:27.408 (somber music) 181 00:10:33.840 --> 00:10:35.548 - Take your place upon the wall 182 00:10:35.550 --> 00:10:38.008 of heroes that have fallen before you. 183 00:10:38.010 --> 00:10:41.163 Sleep now, you prince amongst princes. 184 00:10:42.390 --> 00:10:46.168 You tiptoed your way into our lives, 185 00:10:46.170 --> 00:10:48.333 but only for a moment you stayed. 186 00:10:49.800 --> 00:10:52.468 Oh, but what an imprint your footsteps 187 00:10:52.470 --> 00:10:54.153 have had upon our hearts. 188 00:10:55.140 --> 00:10:56.728 - I'm gonna miss that guy. 189 00:10:56.730 --> 00:10:58.018 He had the cleanest balls 190 00:10:58.020 --> 00:11:00.898 of all the ball cleaners of the club. 191 00:11:00.900 --> 00:11:02.668 - He had the cleanest balls ever. 192 00:11:02.670 --> 00:11:04.918 - His balls were spectacular. 193 00:11:04.920 --> 00:11:06.088 The shine. 194 00:11:06.090 --> 00:11:07.828 - The whitest. 195 00:11:07.830 --> 00:11:08.763 - The shine. 196 00:11:09.600 --> 00:11:14.008 - If I had to have the balls of any of us caddies, 197 00:11:14.010 --> 00:11:15.688 and I know you guys would say the same 198 00:11:15.690 --> 00:11:20.008 without shame or envy, I'd want to have his balls. 199 00:11:20.010 --> 00:11:21.670 - Staring into his balls 200 00:11:22.710 --> 00:11:25.618 was like staring into the balls of God. 201 00:11:25.620 --> 00:11:26.653 - No one... 202 00:11:28.140 --> 00:11:33.140 No one could do to balls what he did to balls. 203 00:11:33.150 --> 00:11:34.798 - The stroking. 204 00:11:34.800 --> 00:11:36.508 - The rubbing. 205 00:11:36.510 --> 00:11:38.908 - The right amount of pressure. 206 00:11:38.910 --> 00:11:41.248 - You would just take his fingertips, 207 00:11:41.250 --> 00:11:43.233 starting at the base of the ball, 208 00:11:44.430 --> 00:11:46.593 working his way round the ball, 209 00:11:48.630 --> 00:11:51.873 draining the balls holes of dirt, and debris. 210 00:11:53.296 --> 00:11:55.879 (man grunting) 211 00:12:10.770 --> 00:12:12.448 Damn, hole boy. 212 00:12:12.450 --> 00:12:14.998 You said what we were all thinking. 213 00:12:15.000 --> 00:12:17.428 You motherfucker. 214 00:12:17.430 --> 00:12:20.583 Goddamn, now I know this mother is gonna rest in peace. 215 00:12:23.520 --> 00:12:25.468 Now let's get out there 216 00:12:25.470 --> 00:12:28.443 and do the best damn caddying we've ever done. 217 00:12:29.520 --> 00:12:31.018 And let's do it for Gordy! 218 00:12:31.020 --> 00:12:32.223 - For Gordy! 219 00:12:32.225 --> 00:12:33.725 - [All] For Gordy! 220 00:12:36.957 --> 00:12:39.624 (ominous music) 221 00:12:44.940 --> 00:12:48.063 - When my father handed this golf club down to me, 222 00:12:49.050 --> 00:12:51.328 he put a lot into my little hands. 223 00:12:51.330 --> 00:12:54.573 He ran this golf club for 35 years, 224 00:12:55.680 --> 00:12:58.828 grew it from a pitching putt 225 00:12:58.830 --> 00:13:01.503 to the greatest golf club in the tri-state area. 226 00:13:02.520 --> 00:13:04.588 Now it's my turn to take the wheel, 227 00:13:04.590 --> 00:13:07.258 make it even bigger and better. 228 00:13:07.260 --> 00:13:09.568 My first year I started the 229 00:13:09.570 --> 00:13:12.460 Complete and Putter Madness Golf Tournament 230 00:13:13.740 --> 00:13:16.263 and I've been running it for four years now. 231 00:13:18.240 --> 00:13:23.240 It's been the biggest, the biggest golf tournament, 232 00:13:23.610 --> 00:13:26.350 this club, this country 233 00:13:28.200 --> 00:13:31.323 and from what I hear, this world has ever seen, 234 00:13:33.570 --> 00:13:37.258 I have a lot to worry about leading up to the tournament. 235 00:13:37.260 --> 00:13:41.013 Now I have to deal with dead caddies on my green. 236 00:13:42.180 --> 00:13:43.888 I can't have this. 237 00:13:43.890 --> 00:13:47.518 Everybody knows I'm the best golf club owner, 238 00:13:47.520 --> 00:13:50.613 the very best golf club owner. 239 00:13:55.470 --> 00:13:57.393 I give my members what they need. 240 00:14:01.020 --> 00:14:02.638 You know what happens if I stop 241 00:14:02.640 --> 00:14:04.290 giving my members what they need? 242 00:14:07.050 --> 00:14:08.807 I stop getting what I want. 243 00:14:10.590 --> 00:14:12.783 I stop getting the money, 244 00:14:13.920 --> 00:14:14.943 the power, 245 00:14:17.280 --> 00:14:18.903 the ego fulfillment. 246 00:14:20.850 --> 00:14:22.790 Is that what you want? 247 00:14:22.792 --> 00:14:25.143 - I'm just a groundskeeper. 248 00:14:26.820 --> 00:14:27.653 - No. 249 00:14:30.030 --> 00:14:32.103 Actually, that's not what any of us want. 250 00:14:34.500 --> 00:14:39.213 If I lose my power, we all lose our power. 251 00:14:40.110 --> 00:14:41.133 You understand? 252 00:14:42.003 --> 00:14:44.433 - No, not really. 253 00:14:45.390 --> 00:14:47.188 - I understand, sir. 254 00:14:47.190 --> 00:14:50.029 - I can't have these caddies ruining my big day. 255 00:14:50.031 --> 00:14:51.213 - No. No. 256 00:14:52.272 --> 00:14:54.178 They're wild. 257 00:14:54.180 --> 00:14:58.863 They're out there screaming and yelling, well dying. 258 00:15:00.690 --> 00:15:04.978 These are not the things that you or your member, 259 00:15:04.980 --> 00:15:07.623 members should have to deal with. 260 00:15:08.490 --> 00:15:09.323 No, no, no. 261 00:15:10.419 --> 00:15:14.668 You've done all you can to prevent this type of situation. 262 00:15:14.670 --> 00:15:16.174 Yes, yes. 263 00:15:16.176 --> 00:15:18.028 You just relax. 264 00:15:18.030 --> 00:15:20.908 Let me, Miss Flannager, 265 00:15:20.910 --> 00:15:25.910 your best friend and personal assistant take care of it. 266 00:15:27.420 --> 00:15:32.420 Why, a man of your stature (giggles) should not have to deal 267 00:15:33.090 --> 00:15:35.668 with this type of situation, 268 00:15:35.670 --> 00:15:39.963 with skin so soft and smelling of fresh linen. 269 00:15:41.040 --> 00:15:45.663 Yes, and the shoulders of a strong, independent woman. 270 00:15:46.671 --> 00:15:49.195 I don't need no man! 271 00:15:49.197 --> 00:15:51.898 - Jesus Christ with a boner on the jew cross. 272 00:15:51.900 --> 00:15:53.043 Get away from me! 273 00:15:55.560 --> 00:15:56.673 - Can I go? 274 00:15:59.820 --> 00:16:04.820 - My answer to this problem is a new caddy manager, 275 00:16:05.940 --> 00:16:10.078 someone who won't take any cuff from those little shitheads. 276 00:16:10.080 --> 00:16:12.628 And there's only one person I know 277 00:16:12.630 --> 00:16:14.193 that can handle this mission. 278 00:16:16.590 --> 00:16:18.213 My niece Becky. 279 00:16:20.823 --> 00:16:23.406 (sultry music) 280 00:16:38.970 --> 00:16:41.253 She knows nothing about golf. 281 00:16:43.380 --> 00:16:46.410 Or the day-to-day operations of being a caddy. 282 00:16:48.330 --> 00:16:49.533 But she's family. 283 00:16:51.360 --> 00:16:53.793 I see no better person for the job. 284 00:16:55.110 --> 00:16:57.199 You're gonna spy for me. 285 00:16:57.201 --> 00:16:59.553 I mean, you're gonna manage for me. 286 00:17:01.833 --> 00:17:05.370 Oh, manage them real good for me. 287 00:17:05.372 --> 00:17:07.905 Solve all my problems. 288 00:17:07.907 --> 00:17:10.953 You're so sexy and beautiful. 289 00:17:13.470 --> 00:17:16.563 No man cannot listen to, respect you. 290 00:17:17.490 --> 00:17:20.818 Is she the most beautiful female specimen 291 00:17:20.820 --> 00:17:22.498 you've ever seen? 292 00:17:22.500 --> 00:17:23.998 - Damn fine, sir. 293 00:17:24.000 --> 00:17:25.431 Yes. (giggles) 294 00:17:25.433 --> 00:17:28.678 - If I could still get a male erection, 295 00:17:28.680 --> 00:17:30.333 you know, I'd have one right now. 296 00:17:32.490 --> 00:17:36.963 Bicycle accident, '84, hasn't worked since. 297 00:17:37.950 --> 00:17:38.968 - Don't worry. 298 00:17:38.970 --> 00:17:41.608 I'll infiltrate that group of mindless sperm bags 299 00:17:41.610 --> 00:17:45.298 and turn this whole goddamn caddy operation around. 300 00:17:45.300 --> 00:17:47.278 I'm gonna go in there like a wrecking ball 301 00:17:47.280 --> 00:17:51.268 until they all do my bidding one by one. 302 00:17:51.270 --> 00:17:52.503 Believe you me. 303 00:17:53.430 --> 00:17:54.583 - Oh, I do. 304 00:17:55.540 --> 00:17:58.123 (all laughing) 305 00:18:11.726 --> 00:18:14.309 (upbeat music) 306 00:18:17.487 --> 00:18:22.487 I'm spraying these greens every day. 307 00:18:23.254 --> 00:18:24.671 Gotta keep going. 308 00:18:26.025 --> 00:18:27.753 Can't stop now. 309 00:18:29.430 --> 00:18:32.193 This always reminds me of Vietnam! 310 00:18:36.510 --> 00:18:39.344 My platoon, they're pinned down. 311 00:18:39.346 --> 00:18:41.248 Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew. 312 00:18:41.250 --> 00:18:43.911 I'll save you, guys. I'll get you out. 313 00:18:43.913 --> 00:18:46.408 Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew. 314 00:18:46.410 --> 00:18:47.788 They're everywhere. 315 00:18:47.790 --> 00:18:49.833 We got Charlie all over the place. 316 00:18:52.650 --> 00:18:54.568 Oh, we're gonna get out boys. 317 00:18:54.570 --> 00:18:56.578 I'll make sure we get to the chopper. 318 00:18:56.580 --> 00:18:58.948 I make sure, we'll get you there. 319 00:18:58.950 --> 00:19:00.950 Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew. 320 00:19:03.493 --> 00:19:06.160 I'll get the flamethrower ready! 321 00:19:09.577 --> 00:19:10.660 Need the gas! 322 00:19:16.236 --> 00:19:17.069 Oh. 323 00:19:18.148 --> 00:19:19.148 Hello there. 324 00:19:20.070 --> 00:19:20.973 How are you? 325 00:19:26.790 --> 00:19:28.270 You're such a cutie. 326 00:19:32.025 --> 00:19:37.025 Oh no! 327 00:19:45.946 --> 00:19:46.779 How is it possible? 328 00:19:48.447 --> 00:19:50.163 No, stop. Please. 329 00:19:58.080 --> 00:19:59.403 What the fuck? 330 00:20:00.720 --> 00:20:03.268 - Remember me? Wacky Willy. 331 00:20:03.270 --> 00:20:06.633 We're 20 minutes into the movie, here's another song. 332 00:20:13.650 --> 00:20:16.133 - No, (indistinct) 333 00:20:19.238 --> 00:20:24.238 - Okay guys, settle down. 334 00:20:27.718 --> 00:20:31.803 Okay guys, I have a pretty important announcement to make. 335 00:20:33.330 --> 00:20:35.313 So if you could all just settle down. 336 00:20:40.080 --> 00:20:40.913 - My boombox! 337 00:20:43.074 --> 00:20:45.491 (rock music) 338 00:20:53.070 --> 00:20:54.517 Whoa, whoa, time out. 339 00:20:56.428 --> 00:20:57.261 Boobies. 340 00:21:01.918 --> 00:21:02.918 Hubba hubba. 341 00:21:04.182 --> 00:21:05.641 - Okay, fellas. 342 00:21:05.643 --> 00:21:08.818 What are the three ups of caddying? 343 00:21:08.820 --> 00:21:10.472 - [All] Show up. 344 00:21:10.474 --> 00:21:13.173 Sheep up and shut up. 345 00:21:14.730 --> 00:21:17.098 - That's right, very good, very good. 346 00:21:17.100 --> 00:21:21.543 So if you could all just shut up and please try to keep up. 347 00:21:22.980 --> 00:21:27.628 Yes, well, I have a very important announcement to make. 348 00:21:27.630 --> 00:21:30.478 Fellas, I'd like you to meet Becky. 349 00:21:30.480 --> 00:21:32.943 She's our new caddy manager. 350 00:21:33.840 --> 00:21:36.568 - What? A new manager, gimme a break. 351 00:21:36.570 --> 00:21:40.018 - I'm not gonna let this beaver boss me around. 352 00:21:40.020 --> 00:21:41.218 What about Mr. Bobbi? 353 00:21:41.220 --> 00:21:43.738 He's the best damned caddy manager I've ever worked with. 354 00:21:43.740 --> 00:21:47.938 - Oh, Mr. Bobbi's been dead for two years now. 355 00:21:47.940 --> 00:21:50.698 Yes. (giggles) 356 00:21:50.700 --> 00:21:53.098 - I thought he was just mad at us. 357 00:21:53.100 --> 00:21:56.013 - We really do have to do something with that body. 358 00:21:57.330 --> 00:21:59.758 - All right, that's not what's important. 359 00:21:59.760 --> 00:22:02.218 What's important is there's a new manager in town 360 00:22:02.220 --> 00:22:04.168 and things are gonna change. 361 00:22:04.170 --> 00:22:05.698 - Like how? 362 00:22:05.700 --> 00:22:09.688 - Like, like no gum. 363 00:22:09.690 --> 00:22:11.308 You guys can't chew gum. 364 00:22:11.310 --> 00:22:12.508 - Nobody's chewing gum. 365 00:22:12.510 --> 00:22:14.938 - Good, we're off to an amazing start. 366 00:22:14.940 --> 00:22:16.378 You see how great I am? 367 00:22:16.380 --> 00:22:17.733 - You are amazing. 368 00:22:18.840 --> 00:22:19.828 Yes. 369 00:22:19.830 --> 00:22:22.228 - Now, which one of you pube holes 370 00:22:22.230 --> 00:22:23.398 wants to show me around 371 00:22:23.400 --> 00:22:25.498 and fill me in on your day to day around here? 372 00:22:25.500 --> 00:22:26.848 - I'll fill you in, baby. 373 00:22:26.850 --> 00:22:27.808 - What's your name? 374 00:22:27.810 --> 00:22:28.933 - Around here... 375 00:22:30.630 --> 00:22:31.743 They call me fingers. 376 00:22:32.850 --> 00:22:34.438 - Why do they call you that? 377 00:22:34.440 --> 00:22:36.843 - Oh, I'm sure you'll find out. 378 00:22:37.685 --> 00:22:38.818 (fingers crunching) 379 00:22:38.820 --> 00:22:41.488 Oh God, my fingering fingers. 380 00:22:41.490 --> 00:22:43.190 - Now they're your broken fingers. 381 00:22:44.610 --> 00:22:46.948 Anyone else wanna be a smart ass? 382 00:22:46.950 --> 00:22:50.613 Now I'm gonna ask again, who wants to show me around? 383 00:22:55.320 --> 00:22:57.263 You, what's your name? 384 00:22:57.265 --> 00:22:58.702 - Googie. 385 00:22:58.704 --> 00:23:01.378 - Well, Googie, it looks like you've been elected. 386 00:23:01.380 --> 00:23:04.018 Now get your bony ass up and let's do this. 387 00:23:04.020 --> 00:23:05.788 The rest of you get back to work 388 00:23:05.790 --> 00:23:08.590 doing whatever it is you pecker pinchers do around here. 389 00:23:09.720 --> 00:23:11.463 - You're all in trouble now, yes. 390 00:23:12.630 --> 00:23:15.453 - Get outta here, Flannager, you brown nose pug wad. 391 00:23:16.410 --> 00:23:19.066 - Things are gonna change around here. 392 00:23:19.068 --> 00:23:22.348 Yes they are. (giggles) 393 00:23:22.350 --> 00:23:23.684 - Thanks a lot guys. 394 00:23:23.686 --> 00:23:25.622 (caddies laughing) 395 00:23:25.624 --> 00:23:28.118 You suck, bony ass! 396 00:23:28.120 --> 00:23:30.612 - Who likes reading now? 397 00:23:30.614 --> 00:23:33.197 (upbeat music) 398 00:23:35.776 --> 00:23:38.443 (playful music) 399 00:23:45.040 --> 00:23:45.873 - No. 400 00:23:47.548 --> 00:23:48.693 What are you doing? 401 00:23:50.190 --> 00:23:51.778 Don't even think about it. 402 00:23:51.780 --> 00:23:55.438 You are not going to take that sandwich. 403 00:23:55.440 --> 00:23:57.830 It's not for you. 404 00:23:57.832 --> 00:23:59.433 It's for the gophers. 405 00:24:00.360 --> 00:24:02.163 He's gonna take the sandwich. 406 00:24:03.210 --> 00:24:05.158 We're going to code red. 407 00:24:05.160 --> 00:24:08.974 Be on alert, I repeat, be on alert. 408 00:24:08.976 --> 00:24:11.637 He's gonna eat it. He's gonna eat it. 409 00:24:11.639 --> 00:24:13.939 I don't have any more money for another hogey. 410 00:24:16.020 --> 00:24:17.368 Oh, that's it. 411 00:24:17.370 --> 00:24:20.218 The mission's compromised, mission's compromised. 412 00:24:20.220 --> 00:24:21.453 Abort, abort. 413 00:24:25.800 --> 00:24:27.688 Drop the sandwich, son. 414 00:24:27.690 --> 00:24:29.668 You take another bite and I'll slit your throat 415 00:24:29.670 --> 00:24:31.704 and I'll remove that tasty morsel 416 00:24:31.706 --> 00:24:34.228 from your overstretched stomach. 417 00:24:34.230 --> 00:24:35.133 Comprende? 418 00:24:36.510 --> 00:24:38.081 You think I'm playing? 419 00:24:38.083 --> 00:24:40.753 Go ahead, take another bite. 420 00:24:40.755 --> 00:24:42.338 See if I'm playing. 421 00:24:44.794 --> 00:24:46.155 Drop it. 422 00:24:46.157 --> 00:24:46.990 Drop it. 423 00:24:47.837 --> 00:24:48.920 There you go. 424 00:24:49.907 --> 00:24:51.533 Now, get the hell outta here. 425 00:24:51.535 --> 00:24:54.285 (dramatic music) 426 00:25:06.886 --> 00:25:09.553 (gopher crying) 427 00:25:10.570 --> 00:25:12.487 - Mission accomplished. 428 00:25:16.860 --> 00:25:19.768 - So let's just say hypothetically, 429 00:25:19.770 --> 00:25:22.768 I don't know anything about golf or what a caddy does. 430 00:25:22.770 --> 00:25:24.598 Tell me what you guys do around here. 431 00:25:24.600 --> 00:25:26.908 - Being a caddy is a very important job, 432 00:25:26.910 --> 00:25:29.098 one that gets overlooked a lot. 433 00:25:29.100 --> 00:25:31.498 We're a good golfer's number one tool. 434 00:25:31.500 --> 00:25:35.158 We walk the course with them, we carry their bags. 435 00:25:35.160 --> 00:25:37.462 - Couldn't they just use a golf cart for that? 436 00:25:37.464 --> 00:25:40.918 - Could a golf cart calculate the yardage on the next pin? 437 00:25:40.920 --> 00:25:43.678 Could it tell 'em what club to use on the next shot? 438 00:25:43.680 --> 00:25:47.578 Could a golf cart go ahead and scout the shot for them? 439 00:25:47.580 --> 00:25:50.398 Could it clean and locate their balls? 440 00:25:50.400 --> 00:25:52.198 Rake sand traps? 441 00:25:52.200 --> 00:25:56.488 And then there's weather variables, marking the greens, 442 00:25:56.490 --> 00:25:59.023 more than anything else, we... 443 00:26:00.480 --> 00:26:03.628 A caddy makes the game more enjoyable for a golfer 444 00:26:03.630 --> 00:26:07.378 by handling mental tasks, speeding up the process, 445 00:26:07.380 --> 00:26:08.998 being a support for them. 446 00:26:09.000 --> 00:26:12.063 A caddy is a golfer's best friend and confidant. 447 00:26:13.050 --> 00:26:14.992 - You're kind of a loser around here. 448 00:26:14.994 --> 00:26:16.255 - I don't think so. 449 00:26:16.257 --> 00:26:18.148 - No, I can tell these things. 450 00:26:18.150 --> 00:26:19.528 I can smell it on you. 451 00:26:19.530 --> 00:26:22.258 Same way a dog can smell when a woman's on her period. 452 00:26:22.260 --> 00:26:24.208 - Is that a thing? 453 00:26:24.210 --> 00:26:26.728 - Why do you let those guys pick on you? 454 00:26:26.730 --> 00:26:28.316 - I don't know. 455 00:26:28.318 --> 00:26:31.528 I think the guys are pretty cool dudes. 456 00:26:31.530 --> 00:26:34.648 Maybe it's because I'm a 38 year old caddy trainee 457 00:26:34.650 --> 00:26:36.748 and they're all championship caddies. 458 00:26:36.750 --> 00:26:38.518 - Championship caddies? 459 00:26:38.520 --> 00:26:41.428 - Yeah, there's a special ranking system for caddies. 460 00:26:41.430 --> 00:26:44.368 - Doi! You think I didn't know about the ranking systems. 461 00:26:44.370 --> 00:26:45.201 You think I didn't know 462 00:26:45.203 --> 00:26:47.098 there was different ranks for caddies? 463 00:26:47.100 --> 00:26:48.418 How could I be the caddy manager 464 00:26:48.420 --> 00:26:49.898 if I don't know this stuff, huh? 465 00:26:49.900 --> 00:26:51.199 - I didn't mean anything by it. 466 00:26:51.201 --> 00:26:52.228 I just thought you wanted to know. 467 00:26:52.230 --> 00:26:54.478 - I didn't go to Caddy Management College 468 00:26:54.480 --> 00:26:57.328 for four years to have some snot rocket trainee 469 00:26:57.330 --> 00:26:58.935 thinks he knows more than I do. 470 00:26:58.937 --> 00:26:59.768 - Sorry. 471 00:26:59.770 --> 00:27:00.601 - You got that? 472 00:27:00.603 --> 00:27:01.434 - Yeah. 473 00:27:01.436 --> 00:27:02.267 - You got it? 474 00:27:02.269 --> 00:27:03.268 - I said yes. 475 00:27:03.270 --> 00:27:05.188 - You think I didn't go to caddy management college? 476 00:27:05.190 --> 00:27:06.898 Do you think I'm lying about that? 477 00:27:06.900 --> 00:27:09.268 - I didn't even know such a thing existed. 478 00:27:09.270 --> 00:27:11.373 - There is a thing and I went there. 479 00:27:12.618 --> 00:27:13.768 - Okay. 480 00:27:13.770 --> 00:27:15.028 - I did. 481 00:27:15.030 --> 00:27:15.861 - Okay. 482 00:27:15.863 --> 00:27:17.588 - I'm not lying. 483 00:27:17.590 --> 00:27:20.140 - Look, I better go fish the balls out of the lake. 484 00:27:23.850 --> 00:27:25.888 - Don't blow this, Becky. 485 00:27:25.890 --> 00:27:27.538 I'm not going to. 486 00:27:27.540 --> 00:27:29.158 He's onto us. 487 00:27:29.160 --> 00:27:30.058 No, he's not. 488 00:27:30.060 --> 00:27:31.768 He knows you're a fake. 489 00:27:31.770 --> 00:27:33.058 You're a fake. 490 00:27:33.060 --> 00:27:35.818 We have to get him on our side at any cost. 491 00:27:35.820 --> 00:27:37.233 At any cost. 492 00:27:39.163 --> 00:27:41.830 (playful music) 493 00:27:45.990 --> 00:27:48.543 - That's some good gopher bait. 494 00:27:53.520 --> 00:27:57.903 Alright, you son of a bitch, let's do this. 495 00:28:01.170 --> 00:28:06.170 Now I'm gonna spray you with some of this stuff 496 00:28:06.570 --> 00:28:09.423 and nothing's gonna happen. 497 00:28:09.425 --> 00:28:11.608 You got nothing. 498 00:28:11.610 --> 00:28:14.193 That other gopher was just a fluke. 499 00:28:17.100 --> 00:28:22.100 My patented fertilizer does not turn you fuzzy, 500 00:28:24.270 --> 00:28:29.043 adorable creatures into sadistic, mutated, 501 00:28:30.510 --> 00:28:34.348 blood hungry devil gophers. 502 00:28:34.350 --> 00:28:35.583 Do we have an agreement? 503 00:28:37.860 --> 00:28:41.578 Good, once we prove that this formula, 504 00:28:41.580 --> 00:28:45.238 my fertilizer does not do the above, 505 00:28:45.240 --> 00:28:49.588 I will let you go and we'll forget all about this 506 00:28:49.590 --> 00:28:53.223 and we'll go on with our happy lives. 507 00:28:57.630 --> 00:28:58.593 Here we go. 508 00:29:02.735 --> 00:29:05.652 Oh, just in case this does turn you 509 00:29:06.600 --> 00:29:09.358 into a mutated killing machine... 510 00:29:09.360 --> 00:29:12.148 Not that it will. Not that it will, 511 00:29:12.150 --> 00:29:15.628 but just in case, I'm sorry. 512 00:29:15.630 --> 00:29:20.630 And please try to remember my compassion. 513 00:29:22.770 --> 00:29:24.298 Thank you. 514 00:29:24.300 --> 00:29:27.663 Deliver me from thine enemies, oh God. 515 00:29:28.590 --> 00:29:33.063 Defend me from those that rise up against me. 516 00:29:35.380 --> 00:29:38.547 (fertilizer spraying) 517 00:29:43.260 --> 00:29:44.458 You're okay! 518 00:29:44.460 --> 00:29:45.688 You're okay! 519 00:29:45.690 --> 00:29:48.058 See, it wasn't my formula. 520 00:29:48.060 --> 00:29:49.142 It was... 521 00:29:49.144 --> 00:29:51.841 (ominous music) (Gopher groaning) 522 00:29:51.843 --> 00:29:52.676 No, wait. 523 00:29:54.124 --> 00:29:55.291 Don't do that. 524 00:29:57.029 --> 00:29:59.779 (Hambone laughs) 525 00:30:01.474 --> 00:30:04.828 You got, you had me. You had me. 526 00:30:04.830 --> 00:30:08.252 I'll tell you what, you really know how to pull up a prank. 527 00:30:08.254 --> 00:30:10.837 (man laughing) 528 00:30:13.494 --> 00:30:15.827 Oh shit, you're not kidding. 529 00:30:16.687 --> 00:30:17.914 Oh no. 530 00:30:17.916 --> 00:30:18.749 Oh no. 531 00:30:19.860 --> 00:30:21.513 What have you done, Hambone? 532 00:30:25.185 --> 00:30:26.458 What am I gonna do? 533 00:30:26.460 --> 00:30:28.738 What are you gonna do, Hambone? 534 00:30:28.740 --> 00:30:30.740 You're always doing something like this. 535 00:30:32.115 --> 00:30:33.538 Who knows how many of these creatures 536 00:30:33.540 --> 00:30:34.990 are out there running around. 537 00:30:37.858 --> 00:30:39.958 Wait, Mr. Landon. 538 00:30:39.960 --> 00:30:41.060 He'll know what to do. 539 00:30:42.279 --> 00:30:45.279 (creature growling) 540 00:30:56.991 --> 00:30:58.164 - No, 541 00:30:58.166 --> 00:30:59.476 no, 542 00:30:59.478 --> 00:31:00.311 no. 543 00:31:01.403 --> 00:31:03.303 This is unacceptable. 544 00:31:05.130 --> 00:31:08.668 You mean to tell me that if these gophers 545 00:31:08.670 --> 00:31:10.318 ingest your formula, 546 00:31:10.320 --> 00:31:13.683 they turn into these little killer freaky gophers. 547 00:31:14.700 --> 00:31:17.073 - That seems to be the case. 548 00:31:19.350 --> 00:31:21.268 - And you're saying there may be more of these 549 00:31:21.270 --> 00:31:24.658 mutated shitbags running around my course. 550 00:31:24.660 --> 00:31:26.698 My course? 551 00:31:26.700 --> 00:31:29.908 - Other than this one, I've only seen one other. 552 00:31:29.910 --> 00:31:31.855 But it's not a crazy idea to think that 553 00:31:31.857 --> 00:31:33.663 there's more out there. 554 00:31:35.040 --> 00:31:38.613 And we're sure this thing is dangerous? 555 00:31:39.630 --> 00:31:41.523 - One attacked me on the green, sir? 556 00:31:42.720 --> 00:31:44.398 - But are we certain. 557 00:31:44.400 --> 00:31:46.595 - I'm 50% certain, 558 00:31:46.597 --> 00:31:49.833 but there's only a 30% chance that that's right. 559 00:31:52.140 --> 00:31:53.853 - 50% certain? 560 00:31:57.840 --> 00:32:01.678 Well, let's find out just how dangerous 561 00:32:01.680 --> 00:32:03.753 these little flea bags can be. 562 00:32:04.692 --> 00:32:05.525 Flannager! 563 00:32:06.720 --> 00:32:07.553 - Yes sir? 564 00:32:08.452 --> 00:32:10.352 - Stick your hand in that gopher trap. 565 00:32:11.305 --> 00:32:14.368 - That trap right there, sir? 566 00:32:14.370 --> 00:32:18.088 - Yes, that trap right there, Flannager. 567 00:32:18.090 --> 00:32:20.398 Well, is it safe, sir? 568 00:32:20.400 --> 00:32:22.318 - Safe? Of course it's safe. 569 00:32:22.320 --> 00:32:23.668 Would I lie to you? 570 00:32:23.670 --> 00:32:26.488 - Oh, well there was that one time, sir. 571 00:32:26.490 --> 00:32:28.708 - And I found a cream to fix it. 572 00:32:28.710 --> 00:32:30.508 No harm, no foul. 573 00:32:30.510 --> 00:32:31.648 - You're right there, sir. 574 00:32:31.650 --> 00:32:33.775 - Of course I am. 575 00:32:33.777 --> 00:32:35.488 Now stick your hand in there. 576 00:32:35.490 --> 00:32:37.263 After we'll go get some mimosas. 577 00:32:48.686 --> 00:32:53.686 (Miss Flannager yelling) (intense music) 578 00:32:55.227 --> 00:32:58.680 Get that disgusting thing outta here! 579 00:32:58.682 --> 00:32:59.991 Have some coot. 580 00:32:59.993 --> 00:33:00.824 - Sorry, sir. 581 00:33:00.826 --> 00:33:02.909 It's totally my bad, sir. 582 00:33:06.987 --> 00:33:09.981 - I can't let these gophers ruin my tournament. 583 00:33:09.983 --> 00:33:12.988 There's no way I can refund a hundred 584 00:33:12.990 --> 00:33:17.488 of the richest, mediocre golfers their entry fees. 585 00:33:17.490 --> 00:33:18.628 I already spent half of it 586 00:33:18.630 --> 00:33:20.973 on underage, wheelchair bound hookers. 587 00:33:23.640 --> 00:33:26.850 This problem has to be solved before it gets out of hand. 588 00:33:37.710 --> 00:33:38.890 Our mission 589 00:33:41.610 --> 00:33:44.218 is to rally the caddies 590 00:33:44.220 --> 00:33:48.520 and have them round up all these godforsaken things. 591 00:33:48.522 --> 00:33:51.243 - Should I inform the troops of the entire situation? 592 00:33:52.350 --> 00:33:53.583 - Hell no. 593 00:33:55.320 --> 00:33:57.508 As far as they know, 594 00:33:57.510 --> 00:34:00.298 they're gonna be collecting your average, 595 00:34:00.300 --> 00:34:05.223 cute and cuddly, fun-loving, run of the mill gophers. 596 00:34:06.834 --> 00:34:10.018 - Do I have clearance to use any force necessary? 597 00:34:10.020 --> 00:34:10.953 Deadly force? 598 00:34:11.851 --> 00:34:14.218 - You can bomb every one of the little bastards 599 00:34:14.220 --> 00:34:15.838 as far as I care. 600 00:34:15.840 --> 00:34:18.393 As long as this weekend goes off without a hitch. 601 00:34:22.470 --> 00:34:24.963 - As you know, I am disciplined. 602 00:34:25.920 --> 00:34:29.493 Physically and mentally tough, 603 00:34:30.390 --> 00:34:34.948 trained and proficient in all of my warrior tasks. 604 00:34:34.950 --> 00:34:37.263 I won't let you down, sir. 605 00:34:42.396 --> 00:34:44.146 - God speed, Hambone. 606 00:34:47.784 --> 00:34:48.617 God speed. 607 00:34:50.879 --> 00:34:53.629 (downbeat music) 608 00:35:00.120 --> 00:35:02.098 - Goddammit. 609 00:35:02.100 --> 00:35:04.315 My old game is off today, Googie. 610 00:35:04.317 --> 00:35:07.198 - You just gotta relax and keep calm. 611 00:35:07.200 --> 00:35:08.818 You topped that drive 612 00:35:08.820 --> 00:35:12.328 and your game's been preoccupied for the last three holes. 613 00:35:12.330 --> 00:35:13.588 - I know I topped the drive. 614 00:35:13.590 --> 00:35:17.398 You don't think I know that? That's not it at all. 615 00:35:17.400 --> 00:35:19.228 - Just stay in the present. 616 00:35:19.230 --> 00:35:21.028 - What do you think? I'm in 1990, 617 00:35:21.030 --> 00:35:24.238 back when I actually enjoyed some part of my life? 618 00:35:24.240 --> 00:35:27.328 - And don't just focus on your individual shots. 619 00:35:27.330 --> 00:35:30.478 Focus on the pieces of the shots. 620 00:35:30.480 --> 00:35:32.728 - Pieces of my shots? 621 00:35:32.730 --> 00:35:35.278 - Now you got a tough putt here, all right? 622 00:35:35.280 --> 00:35:38.758 So put your head in the preparation process, all right? 623 00:35:38.760 --> 00:35:42.423 Find a safe target, aim your club face. 624 00:35:43.440 --> 00:35:44.733 Align your body. 625 00:35:46.170 --> 00:35:47.878 Arm back. 626 00:35:47.880 --> 00:35:49.438 All right, buddy. 627 00:35:49.440 --> 00:35:50.493 Now let her go. 628 00:35:55.530 --> 00:35:58.803 - Dammit, you never let me down, Googie. 629 00:36:00.070 --> 00:36:02.278 Ah, I guess my head's just all messed up 630 00:36:02.280 --> 00:36:03.988 'cause this broad is out here. 631 00:36:03.990 --> 00:36:04.948 - Excuse me? 632 00:36:04.950 --> 00:36:06.628 - What, did you fart? 633 00:36:06.630 --> 00:36:09.238 - I find it offensive that you called me a broad 634 00:36:09.240 --> 00:36:11.098 and you think the mere presence of a woman 635 00:36:11.100 --> 00:36:13.528 would throw off your precious golf game. 636 00:36:13.530 --> 00:36:17.578 - Look, lady, I don't like women on my course, all right? 637 00:36:17.580 --> 00:36:18.808 So if you're gonna be here, 638 00:36:18.810 --> 00:36:20.968 why don't you go get me a drink or something. 639 00:36:20.970 --> 00:36:23.338 - I don't think she's messing up your game. 640 00:36:23.340 --> 00:36:26.368 You just have to relax and stay cool. 641 00:36:26.370 --> 00:36:28.948 She might even be a good luck charm. 642 00:36:28.950 --> 00:36:30.718 She's our new caddy manager. 643 00:36:30.720 --> 00:36:33.298 She's been four years at Caddy College. 644 00:36:33.300 --> 00:36:35.998 She probably knows more about golf than both of us. 645 00:36:36.000 --> 00:36:37.978 - Caddy College? 646 00:36:37.980 --> 00:36:40.738 What in tarnation is Caddy College. 647 00:36:40.740 --> 00:36:42.928 - You think just because I don't have a stinky wiener 648 00:36:42.930 --> 00:36:45.898 between my legs that I can't know anything about golf? 649 00:36:45.900 --> 00:36:48.808 - That's exactly what I'm trying to say. 650 00:36:48.810 --> 00:36:50.968 I mean, we give you women Mondays, right? 651 00:36:50.970 --> 00:36:54.178 Who do you think you are to weasel your way around here 652 00:36:54.180 --> 00:36:57.598 every other day of the week trying to ruin our fun? 653 00:36:57.600 --> 00:36:59.461 I mean, it's cute that you girls try. 654 00:36:59.463 --> 00:37:01.468 - Cute how we try. 655 00:37:01.470 --> 00:37:02.668 How we try? 656 00:37:02.670 --> 00:37:03.501 - I don't think he meant- 657 00:37:03.503 --> 00:37:07.498 - I mean that I'm sick and tired of these chuckleheaded, 658 00:37:07.500 --> 00:37:11.428 broad burden, femaNazis trying to change everything 659 00:37:11.430 --> 00:37:15.358 that we red blooded Americans have come to know and love. 660 00:37:15.360 --> 00:37:19.108 Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta get back to my game. 661 00:37:19.110 --> 00:37:20.308 - I do mind. 662 00:37:20.310 --> 00:37:22.768 And I bet I could hit one of these ball things 663 00:37:22.770 --> 00:37:24.538 farther than you could. 664 00:37:24.540 --> 00:37:27.058 - You think you could hit the drive better than me? 665 00:37:27.060 --> 00:37:29.428 - You bet your old wrinkly balls I do. 666 00:37:29.430 --> 00:37:31.265 - Becky, I don't know if this is a good idea. 667 00:37:31.267 --> 00:37:33.117 - I don't have to take this from him. 668 00:37:34.470 --> 00:37:35.463 - Feisty this one. 669 00:37:37.759 --> 00:37:38.592 - Psst. 670 00:37:42.556 --> 00:37:43.556 Becky, psst. 671 00:37:45.052 --> 00:37:45.885 Psst. 672 00:37:49.330 --> 00:37:51.358 - Look, I know this guy's an asshole 673 00:37:51.360 --> 00:37:53.728 but he's one of the wealthiest club members. 674 00:37:53.730 --> 00:37:55.888 We can't afford to piss him off, 675 00:37:55.890 --> 00:37:58.743 but Mr. Landon won't be pleased if this guy complains. 676 00:38:00.330 --> 00:38:01.866 - Fuck Mr. Landon. 677 00:38:01.868 --> 00:38:04.451 (upbeat music) 678 00:38:16.710 --> 00:38:18.603 - You ready out there, Googie? 679 00:38:24.270 --> 00:38:26.043 Let's see you do better than that? 680 00:38:37.040 --> 00:38:37.871 - Dammit. 681 00:38:37.873 --> 00:38:40.708 - (laughs) Oh, what's the matter, girly? 682 00:38:40.710 --> 00:38:42.743 Not as good as you thought you were, huh? 683 00:38:44.927 --> 00:38:46.318 - You've got this, Becky. 684 00:38:46.320 --> 00:38:48.748 Just concentrate on the ball. 685 00:38:48.750 --> 00:38:50.193 Be one with the ball. 686 00:38:56.748 --> 00:38:59.373 (Googie groaning) 687 00:38:59.375 --> 00:39:00.778 - Googie. 688 00:39:00.780 --> 00:39:02.398 - Oh, my balls. 689 00:39:02.400 --> 00:39:04.738 It's okay, nice shot. 690 00:39:04.740 --> 00:39:05.883 - Best out of three. 691 00:39:11.460 --> 00:39:12.693 Best outta five. 692 00:39:18.780 --> 00:39:21.493 - Not again! (groans) 693 00:39:30.360 --> 00:39:31.273 - Best out of 11. 694 00:39:36.450 --> 00:39:38.848 - Nothing like a mid-afternoon brew break. 695 00:39:38.850 --> 00:39:41.698 - Work hard, party hard, that's what I always say. 696 00:39:41.700 --> 00:39:43.413 - Do you Stan? Do you? 697 00:39:45.540 --> 00:39:47.398 - I say it all the time. 698 00:39:47.400 --> 00:39:50.158 - I haven't heard you say that once this whole film. 699 00:39:50.160 --> 00:39:51.778 - It's my first scene. 700 00:39:51.780 --> 00:39:53.818 - Any of you guys ever hear Stanny boy here 701 00:39:53.820 --> 00:39:56.008 say work hard, party hard. 702 00:39:56.010 --> 00:39:56.968 - No. 703 00:39:56.970 --> 00:39:58.228 - What are you saying, Biggles? 704 00:39:58.230 --> 00:40:00.538 Are you saying I can't party hard? 705 00:40:00.540 --> 00:40:02.638 - Yeah, that's exactly what the Biggles is saying. 706 00:40:02.640 --> 00:40:04.198 You can't party hard, Stan. 707 00:40:04.200 --> 00:40:08.518 And you certainly can't party harder than the Biggles. 708 00:40:08.520 --> 00:40:11.338 - I work hard and I party hard 709 00:40:11.340 --> 00:40:14.248 and I can party harder than every one of you. 710 00:40:14.250 --> 00:40:15.898 - Party harder than all of us? 711 00:40:15.900 --> 00:40:17.968 You gotta be kidding, Stan. 712 00:40:17.970 --> 00:40:19.978 - You gotta be kidding, Stan. 713 00:40:19.980 --> 00:40:22.408 - Shit son, the Biggels was partying hard 714 00:40:22.410 --> 00:40:24.778 when you were still sucking on your mama's tit. 715 00:40:24.780 --> 00:40:26.477 - Your mom's tit, Stan. 716 00:40:26.479 --> 00:40:28.288 - Leave my mom outta this. 717 00:40:28.290 --> 00:40:29.428 She's dead, you know? 718 00:40:29.430 --> 00:40:31.378 - My condolences, Stan. 719 00:40:31.380 --> 00:40:33.088 - You know that's probably why she laid there 720 00:40:33.090 --> 00:40:37.528 when I was giving her the world famous Biggle special, Stan. 721 00:40:37.530 --> 00:40:38.818 - The Biggle special, Stan. 722 00:40:38.820 --> 00:40:41.073 - That's it. That's it, man! 723 00:40:42.120 --> 00:40:44.058 We're gonna settle this like men. 724 00:40:44.060 --> 00:40:48.555 - [All] Party off, party off, party off. 725 00:40:48.557 --> 00:40:50.188 - Quiet. Quiet! 726 00:40:50.190 --> 00:40:53.938 There's no time for a party off right now. 727 00:40:53.940 --> 00:40:57.092 We've got pressing matters to discuss. 728 00:40:57.094 --> 00:40:59.863 - Is there time for a quick dance off? 729 00:40:59.865 --> 00:41:02.532 (playful music) 730 00:41:17.503 --> 00:41:18.334 - Okay. 731 00:41:18.336 --> 00:41:19.167 (caddies cheer) 732 00:41:19.169 --> 00:41:21.216 But make it quick! 733 00:41:21.218 --> 00:41:23.801 (upbeat music) 734 00:42:54.104 --> 00:42:58.378 - So, you and your little gopher buddies 735 00:42:58.380 --> 00:43:00.035 think you can just come in here 736 00:43:00.037 --> 00:43:03.273 and ruin everything I've ever worked for? 737 00:43:04.650 --> 00:43:06.783 Like you own this land or something. 738 00:43:08.940 --> 00:43:12.513 There's plenty of other places for your kind to go. 739 00:43:16.110 --> 00:43:18.843 When this tournament's over, I'm gonna build a wall. 740 00:43:20.490 --> 00:43:23.853 The biggest damn wall you gophers have ever seen. 741 00:43:24.720 --> 00:43:27.388 You're lucky you don't have any money. 742 00:43:27.390 --> 00:43:29.763 I'd make the whole lot of you pay for it. 743 00:43:33.180 --> 00:43:37.858 Then finally, me and my friends, 744 00:43:37.860 --> 00:43:40.690 the good people of the Old Glory Holes Golf Club 745 00:43:42.240 --> 00:43:44.583 will be free of nuisances like you. 746 00:43:47.910 --> 00:43:52.893 Yeah, I'd like to see you get in here then. 747 00:43:54.750 --> 00:43:58.182 Nobody gets a drop on Wells Landon. 748 00:43:58.184 --> 00:43:59.278 (cage rattles) 749 00:43:59.280 --> 00:44:00.113 Christ! 750 00:44:01.260 --> 00:44:03.970 Hey, hey, hey. How you doing? 751 00:44:03.972 --> 00:44:06.478 You know that stuff I was saying, 752 00:44:06.480 --> 00:44:09.628 you don't think I meant any of it, do you? 753 00:44:09.630 --> 00:44:12.943 Hey, we can talk about this. We can negotiate it. 754 00:44:13.822 --> 00:44:17.072 I got a lot of friends who are gophers. 755 00:44:18.233 --> 00:44:20.103 Some of my best friends are gophers. 756 00:44:21.780 --> 00:44:23.410 I like you guys so much 757 00:44:24.769 --> 00:44:28.473 that I'm gonna let you join my club. 758 00:44:32.450 --> 00:44:35.678 - No, the rich can't die like this. 759 00:44:35.680 --> 00:44:38.662 No! 760 00:44:38.664 --> 00:44:41.581 (gophers growling) 761 00:45:03.030 --> 00:45:08.030 - Men, all this stuff you hear about caddies 762 00:45:08.160 --> 00:45:11.038 not wanting to work and only wanting 763 00:45:11.040 --> 00:45:13.948 to goof off and party hard 764 00:45:13.950 --> 00:45:16.798 is a load of bullocky. 765 00:45:16.800 --> 00:45:19.438 Caddies love to work. 766 00:45:19.440 --> 00:45:23.488 A caddy must be alert at all times 767 00:45:23.490 --> 00:45:27.298 if he expects to keep his job. 768 00:45:27.300 --> 00:45:28.708 - Where are you going with this, Hambone? 769 00:45:28.710 --> 00:45:30.164 - Come on, man. 770 00:45:30.166 --> 00:45:32.608 I got a whole speech to do here. 771 00:45:32.610 --> 00:45:35.068 - Make it quick, the Biggles has partying to do. 772 00:45:35.070 --> 00:45:38.428 There will be no partying for you boys tonight, 773 00:45:38.430 --> 00:45:42.568 for each caddy must not think only of himself, 774 00:45:42.570 --> 00:45:44.938 but must think of the golfers 775 00:45:44.940 --> 00:45:48.176 that walk these greens every day. 776 00:45:48.178 --> 00:45:49.018 - What are you telling us, Hambone? 777 00:45:49.020 --> 00:45:50.103 We gotta stay late? 778 00:45:51.840 --> 00:45:53.308 - This is bunk, dog. 779 00:45:53.310 --> 00:45:54.958 - It's not bunk. 780 00:45:54.960 --> 00:45:58.108 And would you guys let me finish my speech? 781 00:45:58.110 --> 00:46:01.048 I worked really hard on it. 782 00:46:01.050 --> 00:46:02.608 - Forget this, I got stuff to do. 783 00:46:02.610 --> 00:46:03.868 - Be seated. 784 00:46:03.870 --> 00:46:04.781 - Oh Jesus. 785 00:46:04.783 --> 00:46:08.068 - Listen up, you no good bitch wipes. 786 00:46:08.070 --> 00:46:10.938 You're all staying and no one's leaving 787 00:46:10.940 --> 00:46:13.173 until your mission is complete. 788 00:46:14.310 --> 00:46:18.658 There comes a point in every caddy's life 789 00:46:18.660 --> 00:46:23.493 when he must decide if he is a boy or a man. 790 00:46:24.803 --> 00:46:28.678 Sure, we might hate our jobs. 791 00:46:28.680 --> 00:46:33.680 Sure, we might go home and look in the mirror 792 00:46:34.380 --> 00:46:38.488 and pray to a God we know isn't even listening 793 00:46:38.490 --> 00:46:42.988 to have just a bit of mercy and end our lives. 794 00:46:42.990 --> 00:46:45.633 Sure, we may go home, 795 00:46:46.560 --> 00:46:50.458 cover our genitalia in peanut butter 796 00:46:50.460 --> 00:46:55.048 only to remember your dog died three years prior, 797 00:46:55.050 --> 00:46:56.793 but that is not today. 798 00:46:57.630 --> 00:47:02.630 Today we go out there as boys and we will return heroes. 799 00:47:03.600 --> 00:47:04.433 - Yeah! 800 00:47:05.670 --> 00:47:08.103 - We will return men. 801 00:47:09.600 --> 00:47:14.338 One day when you're sitting in your favorite chair 802 00:47:14.340 --> 00:47:16.962 and your grandkids ask you 803 00:47:16.964 --> 00:47:20.188 what the greatest day of your life was, 804 00:47:20.190 --> 00:47:21.663 it will be this day. 805 00:47:22.830 --> 00:47:26.098 And they will look at you with pride 806 00:47:26.100 --> 00:47:30.298 spewing out of their eyes like diarrhea. 807 00:47:30.300 --> 00:47:31.863 Like diarrhea! 808 00:47:32.730 --> 00:47:36.748 Now let's get out there and give them everything we got! 809 00:47:36.750 --> 00:47:38.068 - [All] Yeah! 810 00:47:38.070 --> 00:47:42.568 - Make me proud boys! Make me proud! 811 00:47:42.570 --> 00:47:43.403 - Yeah! 812 00:47:44.993 --> 00:47:45.977 - [Caddies] Proud, proud, proud, proud, proud. 813 00:47:47.309 --> 00:47:49.410 Proud, proud, proud, proud, proud. 814 00:47:49.412 --> 00:47:52.475 Proud, proud, proud, proud, proud. 815 00:47:52.477 --> 00:47:55.744 Proud, proud, proud, proud, proud. 816 00:47:55.746 --> 00:47:57.810 Proud, proud, proud, proud, proud. 817 00:47:57.812 --> 00:47:59.093 Proud, proud, proud, proud, proud. 818 00:48:00.042 --> 00:48:04.067 Proud, proud, proud, proud, proud. 819 00:48:16.455 --> 00:48:19.918 - Oh, shit, I forgot to tell them what they were doing. 820 00:48:19.920 --> 00:48:21.993 Hey guys, guys! 821 00:48:31.320 --> 00:48:33.178 - What's Hambone's damage, man? 822 00:48:33.180 --> 00:48:35.158 He's got us out here like we're animal control. 823 00:48:35.160 --> 00:48:37.378 I know, right? We should be by the pool 824 00:48:37.380 --> 00:48:39.483 drinking a cold can of... 825 00:48:39.485 --> 00:48:40.468 Booze! 826 00:48:40.470 --> 00:48:41.303 - Hold it! 827 00:48:45.579 --> 00:48:47.948 - It looks like today's my lucky day. 828 00:48:47.950 --> 00:48:50.450 (tense music) 829 00:48:53.364 --> 00:48:56.364 (creature laughing) 830 00:48:57.550 --> 00:48:58.633 - Oh my face. 831 00:48:59.730 --> 00:49:00.990 So not cool. 832 00:49:02.070 --> 00:49:03.418 - You stupid fool. 833 00:49:03.420 --> 00:49:06.020 That's what you get for taking another man's, booze! 834 00:49:09.608 --> 00:49:13.318 (creature laughing) 835 00:49:13.320 --> 00:49:15.508 - I'm really happy you showed that golfer up. 836 00:49:15.510 --> 00:49:19.168 But did you have to go best of 37 with him? 837 00:49:19.170 --> 00:49:21.670 - I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hit you in the 838 00:49:23.220 --> 00:49:24.933 down there every time. 839 00:49:25.980 --> 00:49:28.888 - I'm not even sure he was using regulation balls. 840 00:49:28.890 --> 00:49:30.748 They seemed wide. 841 00:49:30.750 --> 00:49:33.796 You managed to hit me in the plumbs every time. 842 00:49:33.798 --> 00:49:35.728 But I can't give you all the credit. 843 00:49:35.730 --> 00:49:38.728 It must have gotten easier as they swelled up. 844 00:49:38.730 --> 00:49:40.078 - You probably didn't even have to be 845 00:49:40.080 --> 00:49:41.518 standing out there to judge. 846 00:49:41.520 --> 00:49:43.198 We could have just walked to the balls. 847 00:49:43.200 --> 00:49:45.213 - Yeah, that's good to know now. 848 00:49:46.800 --> 00:49:48.928 - I had a great time with you today, Googie. 849 00:49:48.930 --> 00:49:49.763 - Me too. 850 00:49:50.730 --> 00:49:52.498 My sperm holders, not so much, 851 00:49:52.500 --> 00:49:55.858 but I had a really great time. 852 00:49:55.860 --> 00:49:57.028 - I know you had to be forced 853 00:49:57.030 --> 00:49:59.158 into showing me the ropes around here, 854 00:49:59.160 --> 00:50:00.753 but I'm glad it was you. 855 00:50:03.087 --> 00:50:04.337 - I'm glad it was me too. 856 00:50:06.750 --> 00:50:09.153 - Look, there's something I have to tell you. 857 00:50:10.830 --> 00:50:12.453 - Is it gonna hurt my feelings? 858 00:50:13.380 --> 00:50:15.208 - Why would you ask that? 859 00:50:15.210 --> 00:50:18.118 - Because no one ever says, I've got to tell you something 860 00:50:18.120 --> 00:50:20.188 if it's gonna be good news. 861 00:50:20.190 --> 00:50:23.013 - Would it help if I told you in song? 862 00:50:24.660 --> 00:50:25.893 - It might. 863 00:50:27.150 --> 00:50:28.563 - Yo, keyboard guy, 864 00:50:30.030 --> 00:50:32.117 lay me down something noice! 865 00:50:34.036 --> 00:50:36.619 (lively music) 866 00:50:53.181 --> 00:50:57.207 ♪ There's a thing I've been meaning to tell ya ♪ 867 00:50:57.209 --> 00:51:01.398 ♪ I'm hoping that you feel the same ♪ 868 00:51:01.400 --> 00:51:05.750 ♪ I see you on the green and my heart just starts melting ♪ 869 00:51:05.752 --> 00:51:10.732 ♪ Even though you probably don't have much game ♪ 870 00:51:10.734 --> 00:51:11.945 ♪ I'm balls deep ♪ 871 00:51:11.947 --> 00:51:13.511 ♪ Balls deep ♪ 872 00:51:13.513 --> 00:51:15.404 ♪ I'm balls deep in love ♪ 873 00:51:15.406 --> 00:51:18.196 ♪ Balls deep ♪ 874 00:51:18.198 --> 00:51:19.896 ♪ I'm balls deep in love ♪ 875 00:51:19.898 --> 00:51:21.043 ♪ I'm balls deep ♪ 876 00:51:21.045 --> 00:51:22.650 ♪ Balls deep ♪ 877 00:51:22.652 --> 00:51:27.652 ♪ I'm balls deep in love ♪ 878 00:51:28.880 --> 00:51:30.511 ♪ My love swells ♪ 879 00:51:30.513 --> 00:51:33.283 ♪ Just like my balls ♪ 880 00:51:33.285 --> 00:51:34.702 ♪ I swung so well ♪ 881 00:51:34.704 --> 00:51:37.619 ♪ And I caught them all ♪ 882 00:51:37.621 --> 00:51:41.597 ♪ Sorry, I hit you with every shot ♪ 883 00:51:41.599 --> 00:51:46.599 ♪ My balls still hurt but I like you a lot ♪ 884 00:51:46.885 --> 00:51:48.320 ♪ I'm getting wet ♪ 885 00:51:48.322 --> 00:51:51.550 ♪ Like the balls in the lake ♪ 886 00:51:51.552 --> 00:51:54.923 ♪ Feel kind of bad I took this on as a fake ♪ 887 00:51:54.925 --> 00:51:56.029 ♪ You mean you lied ♪ 888 00:51:56.031 --> 00:52:00.162 ♪ My uncle said you guys were rebels ♪ 889 00:52:00.164 --> 00:52:05.164 ♪ Who knew I could fall in love this fast ♪ 890 00:52:06.381 --> 00:52:11.381 ♪ Who knew I could fall in love this fast ♪ 891 00:52:13.268 --> 00:52:17.914 ♪ Don't go ♪ ♪ I gotta go ♪ 892 00:52:17.916 --> 00:52:19.783 ♪ 'Cause I'm still balls deep ♪ 893 00:52:19.785 --> 00:52:20.895 ♪ I'm pulling out ♪ 894 00:52:20.897 --> 00:52:22.290 ♪ Pulling out ♪ ♪ Balls deep ♪ 895 00:52:22.292 --> 00:52:23.396 ♪ Pulling out ♪ ♪ Balls deep ♪ 896 00:52:23.398 --> 00:52:24.509 ♪ Pulling out ♪ ♪ Balls deep ♪ 897 00:52:24.511 --> 00:52:25.494 ♪ Pulling out ♪ ♪ Balls deep ♪ 898 00:52:25.496 --> 00:52:26.510 ♪ Pulling out ♪ ♪ Balls deep ♪ 899 00:52:26.512 --> 00:52:27.494 ♪ Pulling out ♪ ♪ Balls deep ♪ 900 00:52:27.496 --> 00:52:32.496 ♪ I'm balls deep in love ♪ 901 00:52:35.547 --> 00:52:40.523 ♪ Balls deep in love ♪ 902 00:52:40.525 --> 00:52:41.434 ♪ Pulling out ♪ 903 00:52:41.436 --> 00:52:42.633 ♪ Pulling out ♪ 904 00:52:42.635 --> 00:52:43.662 ♪ Pulling out ♪ 905 00:52:43.664 --> 00:52:44.952 ♪ Pulling out ♪ 906 00:52:44.954 --> 00:52:49.037 ♪ Pulling out ♪ 907 00:53:04.923 --> 00:53:07.506 (man groaning) 908 00:53:09.223 --> 00:53:11.428 - I can't believe she lied to me 909 00:53:11.430 --> 00:53:14.703 even after we made up that impromptu song right on the spot. 910 00:53:15.660 --> 00:53:18.903 Balls deep, balls deep in love. 911 00:53:20.430 --> 00:53:23.638 - Oh no, not Cliff. 912 00:53:23.640 --> 00:53:25.858 Everybody loved Cliff. 913 00:53:25.860 --> 00:53:28.503 Who would do this to poor, sweet Cliff? 914 00:53:29.760 --> 00:53:31.371 - Wassup? 915 00:53:31.373 --> 00:53:33.603 - Hey little gopher, nice guy. 916 00:53:35.430 --> 00:53:36.570 Oh, oh my. 917 00:53:36.572 --> 00:53:39.572 (creature laughing) 918 00:53:43.740 --> 00:53:45.328 - I'm done. 919 00:53:45.330 --> 00:53:47.338 And before you tell me you knew I couldn't do it 920 00:53:47.340 --> 00:53:48.298 because I have a pussy. 921 00:53:48.300 --> 00:53:49.353 That's not it. 922 00:53:51.229 --> 00:53:53.616 (creature growling) 923 00:53:53.618 --> 00:53:56.368 (dramatic music) 924 00:53:58.820 --> 00:54:01.903 (creatures growling) 925 00:54:18.659 --> 00:54:23.659 (creatures growling) (man yelling) 926 00:54:28.889 --> 00:54:31.389 (man yelling) 927 00:54:33.029 --> 00:54:38.029 - [Gopher] Hambone. 928 00:54:51.977 --> 00:54:54.810 (Hambone yelling) 929 00:55:00.420 --> 00:55:02.717 - You crap folds wanna go to war? 930 00:55:04.164 --> 00:55:06.718 Well, I've been to war 931 00:55:06.720 --> 00:55:08.968 and I don't think you queef wads 932 00:55:08.970 --> 00:55:12.268 would last one day with the shit I've seen. 933 00:55:12.270 --> 00:55:15.088 You think you're ready to enter Hambone's world? 934 00:55:15.090 --> 00:55:17.488 You wanna settle this like men 935 00:55:17.490 --> 00:55:20.968 and not like the piss flaps you know you are. 936 00:55:20.970 --> 00:55:22.070 - [Gopher] Piss flaps. 937 00:55:25.860 --> 00:55:29.188 - The game's called Russian Roulette. 938 00:55:29.190 --> 00:55:30.993 It's a game of chance. 939 00:55:32.040 --> 00:55:34.480 It's played with this revolver 940 00:55:35.910 --> 00:55:36.838 and this, 941 00:55:36.840 --> 00:55:39.208 a single bullet. 942 00:55:39.210 --> 00:55:41.583 We take this one bad boy, 943 00:55:42.720 --> 00:55:46.473 load it into this death pistol, 944 00:55:48.810 --> 00:55:50.133 spin the cylinder, 945 00:55:52.200 --> 00:55:55.900 put the muzzle to our head and pull the trigger. 946 00:56:07.827 --> 00:56:11.361 (gopher laughing) 947 00:56:11.363 --> 00:56:14.196 (Hambone yelling) 948 00:56:15.817 --> 00:56:18.400 (upbeat music) 949 00:56:50.314 --> 00:56:55.228 Okay, you cut fucking clit jackets, back up! 950 00:56:55.230 --> 00:56:57.178 Let me outta here. 951 00:56:57.180 --> 00:57:00.545 Or I swear to God I'll send his brains all over this- 952 00:57:00.547 --> 00:57:01.824 (gophers growling) 953 00:57:01.826 --> 00:57:04.826 (Hambone screaming) 954 00:57:09.617 --> 00:57:11.731 My horoscope was right. 955 00:57:11.733 --> 00:57:14.316 (upbeat music) 956 00:57:16.593 --> 00:57:19.738 I've been wasting my whole night 957 00:57:19.740 --> 00:57:22.348 looking for some freaking gophers, 958 00:57:22.350 --> 00:57:24.208 I couldn't find the damn one of them. 959 00:57:24.210 --> 00:57:27.110 - Well, maybe we would've if we left the shack and looked. 960 00:57:27.990 --> 00:57:30.783 - Man, I'd rather be out there hunting beaver. 961 00:57:34.320 --> 00:57:35.488 - Oh, speaking of beaver. 962 00:57:35.490 --> 00:57:37.138 - There's no time for jokes. 963 00:57:37.140 --> 00:57:39.448 We have a major crisis on our hands. 964 00:57:39.450 --> 00:57:40.558 It's the gophers. 965 00:57:40.560 --> 00:57:42.358 These things have mutated, 966 00:57:42.360 --> 00:57:44.428 while you're in here drinking your life away 967 00:57:44.430 --> 00:57:46.468 the other caddies are out there being killed. 968 00:57:46.470 --> 00:57:49.413 - Nice try tuts, like we're gonna fall for that. 969 00:57:50.281 --> 00:57:54.838 - Guys, we have a major crisis on our hands. 970 00:57:54.840 --> 00:57:56.278 It's the gophers. 971 00:57:56.280 --> 00:57:59.523 They've mutated and they're out there killing everyone. 972 00:58:00.360 --> 00:58:01.413 - I don't know, yo. 973 00:58:03.450 --> 00:58:06.598 A woman and a nerd? 974 00:58:06.600 --> 00:58:10.738 I probably need one more side of this 975 00:58:10.740 --> 00:58:13.828 to be fully committed to the idea 976 00:58:13.830 --> 00:58:16.798 that there are mutated gophers 977 00:58:16.800 --> 00:58:19.043 running around killing suckers. 978 00:58:19.045 --> 00:58:21.712 (door creaking) 979 00:58:25.029 --> 00:58:27.946 (Hambone grunting) 980 00:58:57.646 --> 00:58:58.729 - Maybe I can 981 00:59:05.339 --> 00:59:06.172 be of 982 00:59:08.091 --> 00:59:08.924 some 983 00:59:12.635 --> 00:59:13.552 assistance. 984 00:59:17.248 --> 00:59:18.665 Glad I didn't die 985 00:59:32.403 --> 00:59:37.403 so I could crawl here 986 00:59:40.470 --> 00:59:45.083 and confirm this woman and this nerd's story. 987 00:59:56.670 --> 00:59:58.323 911 was an inside job. 988 00:59:59.351 --> 01:00:02.458 (Hambone farts) 989 01:00:02.460 --> 01:00:03.958 - This is rectum shit. 990 01:00:03.960 --> 01:00:05.608 If there's mutated gophers out there, 991 01:00:05.610 --> 01:00:07.466 I got something they can eat right here. 992 01:00:07.468 --> 01:00:12.468 (rock music) (group yelling) 993 01:00:17.422 --> 01:00:19.108 - [Radio Host] This is a special request coming out 994 01:00:19.110 --> 01:00:22.738 to the cats over at the Old Glory Olds Golf Club. 995 01:00:22.740 --> 01:00:24.457 Good luck getting that mutative gopher 996 01:00:24.459 --> 01:00:26.876 off your friends b-b-b-balls. 997 01:00:33.708 --> 01:00:34.541 - Jab 'em! 998 01:00:43.263 --> 01:00:48.263 ♪ We'll be there for you ♪ 999 01:00:51.347 --> 01:00:56.347 ♪ We'll be there for you ♪ 1000 01:00:57.748 --> 01:01:01.069 ♪ When you've had enough ♪ 1001 01:01:01.071 --> 01:01:04.897 ♪ And it hasn't been your day ♪ 1002 01:01:04.899 --> 01:01:06.448 ♪ We'll be there for you ♪ 1003 01:01:06.450 --> 01:01:08.202 (gopher screeches) 1004 01:01:08.204 --> 01:01:09.037 - Yowzer. 1005 01:01:12.565 --> 01:01:15.398 (Caddies yelling) 1006 01:01:18.583 --> 01:01:20.398 - I think he's dead. 1007 01:01:20.400 --> 01:01:23.248 - Shit, he wasn't lying. 1008 01:01:23.250 --> 01:01:25.258 Well, now what are we gonna do? 1009 01:01:25.260 --> 01:01:26.728 I think we should- 1010 01:01:26.730 --> 01:01:28.768 - We wasn't talking to you pecker weed, 1011 01:01:28.770 --> 01:01:29.870 We was talking to her. 1012 01:01:32.429 --> 01:01:35.012 (upbeat music) 1013 01:01:41.940 --> 01:01:46.940 ♪ We've gotta work together ♪ 1014 01:01:49.430 --> 01:01:54.430 ♪ We've gotta work together ♪ 1015 01:01:55.108 --> 01:01:58.508 ♪ Sitting on your own ♪ 1016 01:01:58.510 --> 01:02:02.168 ♪ You won't get nothing done ♪ 1017 01:02:02.170 --> 01:02:05.413 ♪ So pick up yourself ♪ 1018 01:02:05.415 --> 01:02:09.572 ♪ It's better in the long run ♪ 1019 01:02:09.574 --> 01:02:12.922 ♪ We've got to do this together ♪ 1020 01:02:12.924 --> 01:02:17.342 ♪ And work at it as a team ♪ 1021 01:02:17.344 --> 01:02:20.889 ♪ No time for riding solo ♪ 1022 01:02:20.891 --> 01:02:25.085 ♪ Let's move ahead at full steam ♪ 1023 01:02:25.087 --> 01:02:30.087 ♪ Ah, we've gotta work together ♪ 1024 01:02:31.785 --> 01:02:36.785 ♪ Ah, we've got to work together ♪ 1025 01:02:40.887 --> 01:02:42.298 - Oh, song's over. 1026 01:02:42.300 --> 01:02:43.658 I guess we're ready. 1027 01:02:43.660 --> 01:02:48.660 - [Caddies] Yeah! 1028 01:02:48.964 --> 01:02:53.032 - Clear my browser history. 1029 01:02:53.034 --> 01:02:58.034 (gophers yelling) (gun firing) 1030 01:03:01.080 --> 01:03:02.125 - Look, Becky... 1031 01:03:02.127 --> 01:03:04.168 - No, you fucking look. 1032 01:03:04.170 --> 01:03:05.608 I don't know if I love you, 1033 01:03:05.610 --> 01:03:08.638 but I'm gonna need some serious dick after this tonight 1034 01:03:08.640 --> 01:03:10.190 and you're gonna give it to me. 1035 01:03:15.289 --> 01:03:18.789 - How many of these cum boogers are there? 1036 01:03:23.363 --> 01:03:27.113 (gophers speaking gibberish) 1037 01:03:31.124 --> 01:03:33.707 (upbeat music) 1038 01:03:39.028 --> 01:03:41.945 (gopher screaming) 1039 01:03:49.543 --> 01:03:51.876 - Oh yeah, man, stereotypes. 1040 01:03:53.190 --> 01:03:55.963 - Yass, queen, I'm your hole in one. 1041 01:03:57.885 --> 01:04:00.552 (gopher laughs) 1042 01:04:04.039 --> 01:04:05.539 - You naughty boy! 1043 01:04:08.418 --> 01:04:11.032 - (laughs) what do you think? 1044 01:04:11.034 --> 01:04:13.617 (upbeat music) 1045 01:04:17.569 --> 01:04:19.736 - Bitch, where's my money? 1046 01:04:21.604 --> 01:04:24.187 (upbeat music) 1047 01:04:46.329 --> 01:04:51.251 - We outta beer, we gonna have to do something about that. 1048 01:04:51.253 --> 01:04:53.020 - It's dreadful, but I've got an idea. 1049 01:04:53.022 --> 01:04:56.299 Let's go. 1050 01:04:56.301 --> 01:04:58.968 (playful music) 1051 01:05:05.735 --> 01:05:08.235 (tense music) 1052 01:05:34.936 --> 01:05:39.873 - [Gopher] He might be on to us. 1053 01:05:39.875 --> 01:05:42.875 (car alarm blaring) 1054 01:06:08.520 --> 01:06:10.288 - These tip plugs took over our shack. 1055 01:06:10.290 --> 01:06:11.368 We have to get them. 1056 01:06:11.370 --> 01:06:13.726 - There's just too many of them. 1057 01:06:13.728 --> 01:06:16.514 I think I know someone who can help us out. 1058 01:06:16.516 --> 01:06:18.933 (rock music) 1059 01:06:23.430 --> 01:06:27.748 So this is my brother's room, he's a loser. 1060 01:06:27.750 --> 01:06:31.048 He's pretty much in there all day, all night 1061 01:06:31.050 --> 01:06:33.688 writing his blog about making bombs 1062 01:06:33.690 --> 01:06:35.043 and blowing up his school. 1063 01:06:36.300 --> 01:06:38.553 He's a real lost cause. 1064 01:06:39.810 --> 01:06:41.908 He's not as cool as us. 1065 01:06:41.910 --> 01:06:43.623 He's probably still a virgin. 1066 01:06:44.490 --> 01:06:46.438 - That sounds like a good setup to a joke 1067 01:06:46.440 --> 01:06:47.790 that's gonna come later on. 1068 01:06:48.960 --> 01:06:50.188 - He's probably masturbating 1069 01:06:50.190 --> 01:06:52.203 to the videos of the Columbine massacre. 1070 01:06:53.175 --> 01:06:56.092 (knocking on door) 1071 01:06:58.647 --> 01:07:01.648 - What do you want, we're doing stuff in here. 1072 01:07:01.650 --> 01:07:04.350 - Barry, I need your help. 1073 01:07:06.136 --> 01:07:09.088 - My help. You want my help? 1074 01:07:09.090 --> 01:07:10.978 For over 13 years, I've been oppressed 1075 01:07:10.980 --> 01:07:12.898 and you want my help? 1076 01:07:12.900 --> 01:07:14.128 It's funny how a person tries 1077 01:07:14.130 --> 01:07:15.838 to live life and is chastised, 1078 01:07:15.840 --> 01:07:17.431 but if they're helpful to your cause- 1079 01:07:17.433 --> 01:07:20.578 - Look, I've read your blog about how 1080 01:07:20.580 --> 01:07:21.808 you wanna blow up your school. 1081 01:07:21.810 --> 01:07:23.073 - You've read my blog? 1082 01:07:23.910 --> 01:07:24.741 - Yes. 1083 01:07:24.743 --> 01:07:26.458 And it seems like you have an idea 1084 01:07:26.460 --> 01:07:28.708 on how to make homemade bombs, so... 1085 01:07:28.710 --> 01:07:30.238 - You read my blog? 1086 01:07:30.240 --> 01:07:31.933 - Dammit, Barry, you freak... 1087 01:07:32.940 --> 01:07:35.638 Freaking awesome brother, yes! 1088 01:07:35.640 --> 01:07:40.041 So, you gonna show us how to make homemade bombs or not? 1089 01:07:40.043 --> 01:07:41.324 - Okay, time to go. 1090 01:07:41.326 --> 01:07:43.909 (upbeat music) 1091 01:07:59.873 --> 01:08:01.855 - So what are we blowing up? 1092 01:08:01.857 --> 01:08:04.857 (upbeat rock music) 1093 01:08:16.396 --> 01:08:17.227 (gun fires) 1094 01:08:17.229 --> 01:08:19.048 - We'll never kill these scum wads. 1095 01:08:19.050 --> 01:08:21.163 We gotta rethink this. 1096 01:08:21.165 --> 01:08:23.661 Wait, I have an idea. 1097 01:08:23.663 --> 01:08:26.663 (upbeat rock music) 1098 01:08:32.351 --> 01:08:33.684 - Do it, Googie! 1099 01:08:36.574 --> 01:08:39.574 (gophers screaming) 1100 01:08:48.381 --> 01:08:51.131 (drill whirring) 1101 01:08:54.797 --> 01:08:57.380 (somber music) 1102 01:09:49.241 --> 01:09:51.379 - Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys. 1103 01:09:51.381 --> 01:09:52.212 - I planted out all the bombs. 1104 01:09:52.214 --> 01:09:55.258 Now all I have to do is activate this last one 1105 01:09:55.260 --> 01:09:56.583 and press this button in. 1106 01:09:58.549 --> 01:10:00.861 (bleep) 1107 01:10:00.863 --> 01:10:04.252 (bombs explode) 1108 01:10:04.254 --> 01:10:07.171 (caddies laughing) 1109 01:10:14.531 --> 01:10:18.005 (upbeat rock music) 1110 01:10:18.007 --> 01:10:19.783 (gentle music) 1111 01:10:19.785 --> 01:10:23.004 (upbeat rock music) 1112 01:10:23.006 --> 01:10:27.016 ♪ Don't look at other people ♪ 1113 01:10:27.018 --> 01:10:28.923 ♪ Just be happy ♪ 1114 01:10:28.925 --> 01:10:31.842 (explosion erupts) 1115 01:10:40.133 --> 01:10:42.633 - Becky, what are we gonna do? 1116 01:10:45.210 --> 01:10:47.463 - What needs to be done, bitch. 1117 01:10:50.987 --> 01:10:54.448 (monster roars) 1118 01:10:54.450 --> 01:10:58.536 You got this Becky, just concentrate on the bomb. 1119 01:10:58.538 --> 01:11:01.001 Be one with the bomb. 1120 01:11:01.003 --> 01:11:02.753 Be one with the bomb. 1121 01:11:08.348 --> 01:11:11.265 (explosion erupts) 1122 01:11:13.287 --> 01:11:16.468 (caddies laughing) 1123 01:11:16.470 --> 01:11:17.818 - Fucking kiss me. 1124 01:11:17.820 --> 01:11:20.908 - Whoa, did you see that giant gopher explode? 1125 01:11:20.910 --> 01:11:21.808 Well, you know what that means. 1126 01:11:21.810 --> 01:11:23.218 That means it's the end of the movie 1127 01:11:23.220 --> 01:11:25.225 and that means it's the end of your good pal. 1128 01:11:25.227 --> 01:11:27.688 W-W-W-Wacky Willie. 1129 01:11:27.690 --> 01:11:29.068 And if you didn't like the film, 1130 01:11:29.070 --> 01:11:31.418 you can kiss my putt. 1131 01:11:31.420 --> 01:11:35.128 All right kids, this is Wacky Willy signing off, 1132 01:11:35.130 --> 01:11:36.363 see you in the sequel. 1133 01:11:37.996 --> 01:11:42.115 ♪ Don't look at other people ♪ 1134 01:11:42.117 --> 01:11:46.365 ♪ Just be happy with who you are ♪ 1135 01:11:46.367 --> 01:11:50.596 ♪ Don't follow the crowd of the masses ♪ 1136 01:11:50.598 --> 01:11:54.738 ♪ Be yourself and you'll be okay ♪ 1137 01:11:54.740 --> 01:11:58.852 ♪ Don't look at other people ♪ 1138 01:11:58.854 --> 01:12:03.023 ♪ Just be happy with who you are ♪ 1139 01:12:03.025 --> 01:12:07.163 ♪ Don't follow the crowd of the masses ♪ 1140 01:12:07.165 --> 01:12:11.379 ♪ Be yourself and you'll be okay ♪ 1141 01:12:11.381 --> 01:12:16.381 ♪ Don't be aspire to be something that you're not ♪ 1142 01:12:16.574 --> 01:12:20.209 ♪ Just be yourself ♪ 1143 01:12:20.211 --> 01:12:24.839 ♪ And everyone else will follow the crowd ♪ 1144 01:12:24.841 --> 01:12:28.309 ♪ Stand up and shout loud ♪ 1145 01:12:28.311 --> 01:12:33.311 ♪ Just be who you're meant to be ♪ 1146 01:12:33.372 --> 01:12:36.596 ♪ And you'll be free ♪ 1147 01:12:36.598 --> 01:12:41.535 ♪ Just be the person that you are ♪ 1148 01:12:41.537 --> 01:12:44.826 ♪ You're a shining star ♪ 1149 01:12:44.828 --> 01:12:48.974 ♪ Don't look at other people ♪ 1150 01:12:48.976 --> 01:12:53.061 ♪ Just be happy with who you are ♪ 1151 01:12:53.063 --> 01:12:57.530 ♪ Don't follow the crowd of the masses ♪ 1152 01:12:57.532 --> 01:13:02.532 ♪ Be yourself and be ♪ 1153 01:13:02.762 --> 01:13:05.022 ♪ Caddy Hack ♪ ♪ Caddy Hack ♪ 1154 01:13:05.024 --> 01:13:07.259 ♪ Caddy Hack ♪ ♪ Caddy Hack ♪ 1155 01:13:07.261 --> 01:13:09.624 ♪ Caddy's got a problem at the local golf club ♪ 1156 01:13:09.626 --> 01:13:12.088 ♪ The little homie Googie is falling in love ♪ 1157 01:13:12.090 --> 01:13:13.305 ♪ The gophers are scary ♪ 1158 01:13:13.307 --> 01:13:14.597 ♪ The gophers are tough ♪ 1159 01:13:14.599 --> 01:13:15.701 ♪ They're eating human flesh ♪ 1160 01:13:15.703 --> 01:13:17.138 ♪ They can't get enough ♪ 1161 01:13:17.140 --> 01:13:19.475 ♪ Wells Landon is the owner and his always making fun ♪ 1162 01:13:19.477 --> 01:13:20.597 ♪ But he's got a little problem ♪ 1163 01:13:20.599 --> 01:13:22.041 ♪ And it's getting on the run ♪ 1164 01:13:22.043 --> 01:13:23.298 ♪ Hambone shoots some fertilizer ♪ 1165 01:13:23.300 --> 01:13:24.353 ♪ Keeping grass green ♪ 1166 01:13:24.355 --> 01:13:27.193 ♪ But the special chemicals are making gophers mean ♪ 1167 01:13:27.195 --> 01:13:29.369 ♪ The caddies are the best, they're world renowned ♪ 1168 01:13:29.371 --> 01:13:32.028 ♪ But little monsters are putting people underground ♪ 1169 01:13:32.030 --> 01:13:34.231 ♪ Calling on Googie, the hero we need ♪ 1170 01:13:34.233 --> 01:13:36.992 ♪ But he's a little nerd who just loves to read ♪ 1171 01:13:36.994 --> 01:13:38.234 ♪ Becky's a bad chick ♪ 1172 01:13:38.236 --> 01:13:39.449 ♪ She drives the balls far ♪ 1173 01:13:39.451 --> 01:13:41.854 ♪ A hole in one for the greens in Googie's front yard ♪ 1174 01:13:41.856 --> 01:13:43.145 ♪ Wells Landon is worried ♪ 1175 01:13:43.147 --> 01:13:45.509 ♪ He calls an Hambone ♪ ♪ He's ready for attack ♪ 1176 01:13:45.511 --> 01:13:46.940 ♪ But he won't alive ♪ 1177 01:13:46.942 --> 01:13:48.302 ♪ You bring the beers ♪ 1178 01:13:48.304 --> 01:13:49.418 ♪ We'll bring the rifle ♪ 1179 01:13:49.420 --> 01:13:54.420 ♪ But before we go out hunting it's dance off time ♪ 1180 01:14:05.118 --> 01:14:07.088 ♪ Get shot ♪ 1181 01:14:07.090 --> 01:14:09.288 ♪ The movie has ended, we hope you enjoyed it ♪ 1182 01:14:09.290 --> 01:14:12.062 ♪ Because the cast and crew were all appointed ♪ 1183 01:14:12.064 --> 01:14:14.271 ♪ Jim Gordon, he's a good friend ♪ 1184 01:14:14.273 --> 01:14:16.657 ♪ It was a pleasure working with him ♪ 1185 01:14:16.659 --> 01:14:19.147 ♪ All of the actors, they love to pretend ♪ 1186 01:14:19.149 --> 01:14:21.785 ♪ After this they'll never work again ♪ 1187 01:14:21.787 --> 01:14:24.156 ♪ We were going for R, but it's PG 13 ♪ 1188 01:14:24.158 --> 01:14:26.721 ♪ Couldn't get no movies on that screen ♪ 1189 01:14:26.723 --> 01:14:29.410 ♪ We did the best we could ♪ ♪ We hope that you loved it ♪ 1190 01:14:29.412 --> 01:14:31.729 ♪ Keep in mind the $2 budget ♪ 1191 01:14:31.731 --> 01:14:34.127 ♪ We loved doing this, it was a ton of fun ♪ 1192 01:14:34.129 --> 01:14:37.212 ♪ No gophers were harmed ♪ ♪ Maybe just one ♪ 1193 01:14:37.214 --> 01:14:39.522 ♪ Caddy Hack ♪ ♪ Caddy Hack ♪ 1194 01:14:39.524 --> 01:14:42.063 ♪ Caddy Hack ♪ ♪ Caddy Hack ♪ 1195 01:14:42.065 --> 01:14:44.649 ♪ Caddy Hack ♪ ♪ Caddy Hack ♪ 1196 01:14:44.651 --> 01:14:47.165 ♪ Caddy Hack ♪ ♪ Caddy Hack ♪ 1197 01:14:47.167 --> 01:14:51.628 ♪ Caddy Hack ♪ ♪ Caddy Hack ♪ 1198 01:14:51.630 --> 01:14:52.683 - Oh! 1199 01:14:54.878 --> 01:14:57.461 (film reeling)