WEBVTT FILE 1 00:00:02.000 --> 00:00:07.000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08.000 --> 00:00:13.000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:01:20.384 --> 00:01:22.821 Okay. So these are the rules. 4 00:01:22.952 --> 00:01:25.259 You have to get from here to there 5 00:01:25.346 --> 00:01:28.175 without touching the floor or the light. 6 00:01:28.305 --> 00:01:30.177 All right, Bearbear, you can do this. 7 00:01:30.307 --> 00:01:32.440 Just have to go slow, okay? 8 00:01:44.539 --> 00:01:46.541 You can do it, Bearbear. You just have to jump. 9 00:01:47.455 --> 00:01:48.586 Okay, ready? 10 00:02:12.915 --> 00:02:15.265 Sometimes I can feel the sky as it rotates. 11 00:02:20.488 --> 00:02:22.968 It scatters my thoughts, creating this... 12 00:02:24.753 --> 00:02:26.015 sound. 13 00:02:28.322 --> 00:02:29.410 And it'll grow louder. 14 00:02:31.499 --> 00:02:32.413 More aggressive. 15 00:02:35.198 --> 00:02:36.417 Like two people fighting. 16 00:02:39.637 --> 00:02:42.292 I look up and I know I can keep my shit together. 17 00:02:44.816 --> 00:02:46.296 And then it rains. 18 00:03:54.321 --> 00:03:55.887 It's gonna stop, baby girl. 19 00:03:56.018 --> 00:03:58.890 If it doesn't, I'll be the only kid in class 20 00:03:58.977 --> 00:04:00.240 with an indoor swimming pool. 21 00:04:01.719 --> 00:04:04.374 Ooh, quefancy. 22 00:04:06.681 --> 00:04:08.552 You don't need a flood to stand out. 23 00:04:09.466 --> 00:04:11.381 You've got grease all over your face. 24 00:04:13.905 --> 00:04:16.430 Oh, yeah. You, like, totally got it now. 25 00:04:16.560 --> 00:04:18.214 It looks all bad. 26 00:04:27.049 --> 00:04:28.268 It will grow louder. 27 00:04:31.183 --> 00:04:32.576 The lights will turn off. 28 00:04:34.535 --> 00:04:35.492 The roof will cave in. 29 00:04:38.974 --> 00:04:40.323 Everything will fall apart. 30 00:04:43.761 --> 00:04:45.110 And I wonder if you can hear me. 31 00:05:13.313 --> 00:05:14.314 Don't let go. 32 00:05:15.837 --> 00:05:16.794 Don't let go. 33 00:05:18.274 --> 00:05:19.319 Please. 34 00:05:37.511 --> 00:05:38.990 Hold your hand. 35 00:05:39.121 --> 00:05:41.776 No, don't let me. It's my fault. I did it. 36 00:05:42.951 --> 00:05:44.605 Who's she talking to? 37 00:05:47.956 --> 00:05:49.000 Jesus. 38 00:05:49.392 --> 00:05:50.524 Is he listening? 39 00:05:51.655 --> 00:05:52.700 I don't know, baby girl. 40 00:05:54.005 --> 00:05:55.311 Is she crazy? 41 00:06:01.883 --> 00:06:03.101 I don't know, baby girl. 42 00:06:03.232 --> 00:06:04.189 You're on fire. 43 00:06:04.320 --> 00:06:05.539 You set it on fire! 44 00:06:07.671 --> 00:06:10.892 I'm holding your fucking hand, 45 00:06:11.022 --> 00:06:13.808 fuck you, you fucking ugly fucker, fucker, fucker... 46 00:06:13.895 --> 00:06:17.289 Hold your hand. I'm holding your hand. 47 00:06:31.826 --> 00:06:32.870 You got lost, Chama, or what? 48 00:06:34.002 --> 00:06:35.220 Where you going? 49 00:06:37.135 --> 00:06:38.702 Don't be all nosy, Matias. 50 00:06:40.400 --> 00:06:41.879 She has a job interview. 51 00:06:42.010 --> 00:06:43.838 Oh, where at? 52 00:06:44.229 --> 00:06:45.535 You my PO now or something? 53 00:06:58.200 --> 00:07:00.376 Look, it's, like, a good job opportunity, okay? 54 00:07:00.898 --> 00:07:02.552 Gonna pay real good, 55 00:07:02.683 --> 00:07:03.423 then you won't be seeing us no more. 56 00:07:07.818 --> 00:07:08.906 Who names their kid Chama? 57 00:07:11.561 --> 00:07:12.867 It's short for Elena. 58 00:07:14.869 --> 00:07:16.784 -No, it isn't. -It is, if I say it is. 59 00:07:17.915 --> 00:07:19.874 Anybody ever tell you you got spiders in your veins? 60 00:07:20.004 --> 00:07:21.310 Anyone ever tell you to put on some shoes? 61 00:07:31.581 --> 00:07:33.235 Come on, baby, get your bag. 62 00:07:35.759 --> 00:07:36.630 That you? 63 00:07:37.587 --> 00:07:38.719 Yeah, that's me. 64 00:07:39.197 --> 00:07:40.547 Hey, good luck out there. 65 00:07:45.508 --> 00:07:47.205 Let me see. 66 00:07:48.032 --> 00:07:49.381 You're gonna lose everything if you don't close your backpack. 67 00:07:49.991 --> 00:07:51.775 Come on. Got everything you need? 68 00:07:52.515 --> 00:07:54.561 Mm-hmm. 69 00:07:54.648 --> 00:07:55.866 I'm gonna be right here, waiting for you after school. 70 00:07:55.997 --> 00:07:56.824 Really? 71 00:07:57.607 --> 00:07:59.087 Yes, really. 72 00:07:59.217 --> 00:08:00.305 Are you gonna give me shit today, too? 73 00:08:00.436 --> 00:08:01.829 Come on. 74 00:08:01.959 --> 00:08:03.308 -I love you. -I love you. 75 00:08:07.748 --> 00:08:08.836 Have fun. 76 00:08:24.155 --> 00:08:25.679 I remember being her age. 77 00:08:28.682 --> 00:08:29.770 That's when I learned how to lie. 78 00:08:31.423 --> 00:08:33.164 I used to tell teachers I was sick. 79 00:08:33.687 --> 00:08:34.818 That's why I was missing school. 80 00:08:37.038 --> 00:08:38.779 When I did go, I tried to blend in. 81 00:08:39.606 --> 00:08:41.477 I brushed my hair, 82 00:08:41.608 --> 00:08:42.739 cleaned my nails... 83 00:08:44.132 --> 00:08:46.830 but inside I felt ants crawling up my skin. 84 00:08:48.876 --> 00:08:51.139 I just wanted to grow up, so everything would be better. 85 00:08:51.269 --> 00:08:52.401 Give me a chance. 86 00:08:54.708 --> 00:08:55.839 I can do the work. 87 00:08:57.667 --> 00:08:58.799 I can! 88 00:08:59.277 --> 00:09:00.757 I'm sure you can. 89 00:09:01.453 --> 00:09:04.152 Come on, quiz me. I know this shit. 90 00:09:04.282 --> 00:09:05.545 When I was younger I used to watch 91 00:09:05.675 --> 00:09:07.155 my abuelo tear cars apart. 92 00:09:07.721 --> 00:09:09.244 He taught me literally everything. 93 00:09:09.984 --> 00:09:12.421 I got an '85 Buick LeSabre I rebuilt. 94 00:09:13.204 --> 00:09:14.597 Runs perfectly... 95 00:09:15.250 --> 00:09:16.599 if it had a fuel pump. 96 00:09:17.252 --> 00:09:18.949 But I can't get a new fuel pump 97 00:09:19.080 --> 00:09:20.560 if I don't got a job and if I don't got a job... 98 00:09:21.952 --> 00:09:23.345 Look. 99 00:09:24.520 --> 00:09:26.043 I'm just trying to get back on my feet, okay? 100 00:09:31.527 --> 00:09:32.528 I have a daughter. 101 00:09:36.314 --> 00:09:38.665 Look, the economy's kicking my ass. 102 00:09:38.795 --> 00:09:40.231 I'm just not hiring right now. 103 00:11:31.125 --> 00:11:33.518 Abueloused to say that if you find a black feather... 104 00:11:37.044 --> 00:11:38.132 it's a warning. 105 00:15:57.304 --> 00:15:58.740 We made dinner. 106 00:15:58.870 --> 00:15:59.784 There's some left in the fridge. 107 00:16:01.134 --> 00:16:02.439 She's sleeping, Elena. 108 00:16:02.570 --> 00:16:03.963 She's my daughter. 109 00:16:04.615 --> 00:16:05.921 I know she's sleeping, okay? 110 00:16:07.096 --> 00:16:08.619 Don't look at me like that. 111 00:16:09.403 --> 00:16:11.753 -You're in my home. -That the state pays for. 112 00:16:16.976 --> 00:16:18.412 I was robbed, okay? 113 00:16:19.065 --> 00:16:20.109 Don't pretend like you care. 114 00:16:21.545 --> 00:16:23.243 Because if you gave two shits, 115 00:16:23.373 --> 00:16:25.027 you'd drive around and look for them. 116 00:16:25.158 --> 00:16:27.421 Oh, I would drive around and look for your shoes? 117 00:16:27.508 --> 00:16:29.249 Why would you ever want to look for the imaginary person 118 00:16:29.379 --> 00:16:30.598 who stole your shoes, Elena? 119 00:16:30.728 --> 00:16:32.208 That's not my name. 120 00:16:32.339 --> 00:16:33.296 Stop talking to me like a child. 121 00:16:34.210 --> 00:16:35.472 You know, Friday's her birthday. 122 00:16:35.603 --> 00:16:37.083 I fucking know Friday's her birthday. 123 00:16:37.213 --> 00:16:38.606 If you weren't my sister-- 124 00:16:38.693 --> 00:16:41.174 So, what? You'd go? So fucking go! 125 00:16:41.304 --> 00:16:42.871 You are just like Mom. 126 00:16:44.394 --> 00:16:45.656 One of these times... 127 00:16:46.179 --> 00:16:47.267 they're gonna take her away. 128 00:16:51.227 --> 00:16:52.707 Get the fuck out of my house. 129 00:16:53.621 --> 00:16:54.839 Get the fuck out! 130 00:19:07.668 --> 00:19:08.973 You know, I used to have this dream... 131 00:19:10.192 --> 00:19:11.411 that I got, like, no face... 132 00:19:12.455 --> 00:19:14.805 and I'm just a shadow, 133 00:19:14.936 --> 00:19:16.155 floating over the desert. 134 00:19:18.548 --> 00:19:21.290 And I got, like, this bag of hammers 135 00:19:21.421 --> 00:19:23.510 and I'm just, like, chucking them at cows. 136 00:19:24.206 --> 00:19:25.686 What do you think that means? 137 00:19:26.295 --> 00:19:27.862 That you need serious help. 138 00:19:27.992 --> 00:19:30.038 Toaster always showed up when I needed her. 139 00:19:37.959 --> 00:19:39.787 You can't just, like, open it. 140 00:19:39.917 --> 00:19:42.355 -Why not? -You broke it. 141 00:19:42.920 --> 00:19:44.400 Last year, Nevaeh loved red. 142 00:19:45.401 --> 00:19:48.361 I think this year, she likes the color purple. 143 00:19:49.927 --> 00:19:52.191 Like that Oprah movie about racism? 144 00:19:54.628 --> 00:19:56.456 Balloons. 145 00:20:06.944 --> 00:20:08.468 You never, like, look up your dreams 146 00:20:08.598 --> 00:20:09.643 and find out what they mean? 147 00:20:11.471 --> 00:20:12.385 I don't dream. 148 00:20:13.647 --> 00:20:15.562 Every bitch dreams. 149 00:20:15.692 --> 00:20:17.520 Come on, you probably just don't remember it. 150 00:20:17.651 --> 00:20:18.782 Mm-mm. 151 00:20:21.916 --> 00:20:23.700 Maybe that's what I'll study when I go back to school. 152 00:20:26.399 --> 00:20:27.530 Why Chama don't dream? 153 00:20:30.794 --> 00:20:32.622 Stupid. Siempre. 154 00:20:32.753 --> 00:20:35.103 No. 155 00:20:35.930 --> 00:20:37.584 No, for serious. 156 00:20:39.412 --> 00:20:41.762 I'm going back. 157 00:20:41.892 --> 00:20:44.286 Toaster is one of those bitches from the Heights. 158 00:20:44.417 --> 00:20:46.332 She actually knew her father. 159 00:20:46.419 --> 00:20:48.377 He'd buy her things. 160 00:20:48.508 --> 00:20:50.771 She never worried about nothing. 161 00:20:50.901 --> 00:20:53.252 Toaster was all cool. 162 00:20:53.382 --> 00:20:54.731 And I wanted to be her. 163 00:20:56.603 --> 00:20:57.604 She was a dreamer. 164 00:20:58.431 --> 00:20:59.388 I'm going back. 165 00:21:01.738 --> 00:21:02.957 My dad's gonna pay. 166 00:21:04.915 --> 00:21:06.700 It's gonna be like it used to be, you know? 167 00:21:08.005 --> 00:21:09.268 He's gonna be proud of me. 168 00:21:12.009 --> 00:21:13.402 I don't know, maybe I'll be just, like... 169 00:21:14.708 --> 00:21:16.405 some counselor, you know? 170 00:21:18.581 --> 00:21:20.757 Like, help all these bitches out. 171 00:21:23.804 --> 00:21:25.066 I could tell 'em what's up. 172 00:21:28.504 --> 00:21:30.680 Toaster always showed up when I needed her. 173 00:21:30.811 --> 00:21:33.292 She'd help me fix everything. 174 00:21:38.514 --> 00:21:40.081 I can make my daughter happy. 175 00:21:44.999 --> 00:21:46.783 I can keep my shit together. 176 00:21:54.704 --> 00:21:56.445 I can make my daughter happy. 177 00:21:56.576 --> 00:21:58.317 I can make my daughter happy. 178 00:22:07.064 --> 00:22:10.677 I can make my daughter happy. 179 00:22:10.807 --> 00:22:13.593 I can make my daughter happy. I can make my daughter happy. 180 00:22:13.723 --> 00:22:15.943 I can make my daughter happy. 181 00:22:16.073 --> 00:22:17.945 I can keep my shit together. I can make my daughter happy. 182 00:22:18.032 --> 00:22:19.338 I can make my daughter happy. 183 00:22:21.078 --> 00:22:22.645 I can keep my shit together. 184 00:22:24.081 --> 00:22:25.779 I can make my daughter happy. 185 00:22:28.912 --> 00:22:30.653 I can keep my shit together. 186 00:23:49.515 --> 00:23:50.690 Hey, baby girl, what's wrong? 187 00:23:51.778 --> 00:23:52.779 I don't know. 188 00:23:53.823 --> 00:23:55.042 Hey. 189 00:23:55.172 --> 00:23:56.565 Don't let bullshit push you. 190 00:24:04.704 --> 00:24:06.314 Sometimes I just want to hide, too. 191 00:24:08.751 --> 00:24:09.796 Just, like, run away. 192 00:24:13.582 --> 00:24:15.279 But everybody's already here, 193 00:24:15.410 --> 00:24:17.456 so you might as well just take all their presents. 194 00:24:27.988 --> 00:24:29.816 You were born two months early, you know why? 195 00:24:30.904 --> 00:24:32.209 Hmm? 196 00:24:33.297 --> 00:24:35.299 Because you were so excited to meet your mama. 197 00:24:36.953 --> 00:24:38.477 And I was to meet you. 198 00:24:41.001 --> 00:24:42.350 There she is. 199 00:24:47.181 --> 00:24:48.835 You're my baby girl, you're all I got. 200 00:24:50.967 --> 00:24:51.968 You're all I got. 201 00:24:56.625 --> 00:24:57.931 I hope that's not true. 202 00:25:00.890 --> 00:25:02.849 Go on. Have fun, it's your birthday. 203 00:25:51.811 --> 00:25:53.029 I can keep my shit. 204 00:25:56.816 --> 00:25:58.034 Elena? 205 00:26:28.978 --> 00:26:29.675 Elena, are you in there? 206 00:26:43.819 --> 00:26:45.691 Come on. Open up. 207 00:26:45.778 --> 00:26:47.170 Elena. 208 00:26:47.867 --> 00:26:48.911 I've been looking for you everywhere. 209 00:26:50.783 --> 00:26:52.872 You did all right-- good, okay? 210 00:26:54.177 --> 00:26:55.614 Not out here to talk shit. 211 00:26:59.226 --> 00:27:00.619 Hey. 212 00:27:03.099 --> 00:27:04.448 Let's just go out and sing. 213 00:27:19.072 --> 00:27:20.073 Look, you know what? 214 00:27:22.205 --> 00:27:23.511 You don't get to do this. 215 00:27:25.078 --> 00:27:26.645 Not today, this isn't about you. 216 00:27:31.475 --> 00:27:34.130 You think you're so special 217 00:27:34.261 --> 00:27:35.784 and that nobody else matters, but guess what? 218 00:27:37.786 --> 00:27:38.961 They do. 219 00:28:03.725 --> 00:28:04.857 Somebody help me! 220 00:28:06.946 --> 00:28:08.556 Somebody help! 221 00:28:11.733 --> 00:28:12.778 Now! 222 00:28:27.140 --> 00:28:28.010 I know what you all are thinking. 223 00:28:29.185 --> 00:28:30.752 Shit gets all fucked. 224 00:28:31.274 --> 00:28:32.667 But that's just the way it goes. 225 00:28:34.060 --> 00:28:36.584 I had this one bitch try to tell me, 226 00:28:36.715 --> 00:28:39.674 "If you just got a real job, everything would be all right." 227 00:28:40.370 --> 00:28:42.764 Bitch! I have a felony. 228 00:28:42.895 --> 00:28:44.853 Who's gonna hire me? Who's gonna teach me? 229 00:28:45.811 --> 00:28:47.769 All I know is selling dope, hustling. 230 00:28:48.378 --> 00:28:50.250 That's all anyone was willing to show me. 231 00:28:51.338 --> 00:28:54.950 So, with four little brothers at home, yeah, 232 00:28:55.081 --> 00:28:58.084 I was gonna hustle to buy them food and, yeah, 233 00:28:58.214 --> 00:29:00.086 I was gonna smoke to forget everything I had done. 234 00:29:01.174 --> 00:29:02.088 And yeah. 235 00:29:03.219 --> 00:29:04.917 Shit's gonna get fucked. 236 00:29:28.114 --> 00:29:29.550 I was once a little girl. 237 00:29:31.770 --> 00:29:33.772 Trying to keep my sister safe. 238 00:29:37.427 --> 00:29:38.994 I thought it would all work out. 239 00:29:42.519 --> 00:29:43.912 I used to run toAbuelo's. 240 00:29:46.567 --> 00:29:47.960 He showed me how to fix things. 241 00:29:52.442 --> 00:29:53.748 You showed me how to break them. 242 00:29:59.362 --> 00:30:00.799 You fucking took them, huh? 243 00:30:00.886 --> 00:30:01.930 Let's go. 244 00:30:11.200 --> 00:30:14.334 You drove around with bottles on the floor. 245 00:30:14.464 --> 00:30:16.205 Your music turned up. 246 00:30:16.336 --> 00:30:18.033 You'd smoke a full pack, 247 00:30:18.164 --> 00:30:20.514 but you still smelled like roses. 248 00:30:24.692 --> 00:30:26.825 We cried as you pulled the glass out of our skin. 249 00:30:33.440 --> 00:30:34.310 I am my mother's daughter. 250 00:30:34.441 --> 00:30:35.790 Elena. 251 00:30:45.104 --> 00:30:46.670 Can you tell me what you were doing? 252 00:30:50.239 --> 00:30:51.675 You're lucky to be alive. 253 00:30:54.374 --> 00:30:56.158 If it hadn't been for the Narcan you'd be dead... 254 00:30:58.204 --> 00:31:00.032 you probably wouldn't be here right now. 255 00:31:04.558 --> 00:31:05.951 How much do you normally use? 256 00:31:09.693 --> 00:31:11.739 Was it an accident or was it intentional? 257 00:31:31.237 --> 00:31:32.978 It's a selfish act, 258 00:31:33.108 --> 00:31:33.979 especially when you're pregnant. 259 00:31:52.127 --> 00:31:53.041 You didn't know? 260 00:32:30.949 --> 00:32:32.428 I was 21. 261 00:32:34.082 --> 00:32:35.779 I'd work on cars, because... 262 00:32:36.998 --> 00:32:38.043 what else am I gonna do? 263 00:32:51.317 --> 00:32:53.145 It was also the last time I used a needle. 264 00:32:54.755 --> 00:32:55.930 Nobody knew. 265 00:32:57.062 --> 00:32:57.976 I was quiet. 266 00:32:59.760 --> 00:33:01.414 But I always seemed in control. 267 00:33:03.807 --> 00:33:04.852 You're doing it all wrong. 268 00:33:06.723 --> 00:33:07.986 You should be cranking it the other way, you know? 269 00:33:10.336 --> 00:33:12.033 I'm tightening the tensioner. 270 00:33:12.599 --> 00:33:14.949 Going clockwise, so the nut can do its job. 271 00:33:17.996 --> 00:33:18.953 That's what's up. 272 00:33:22.478 --> 00:33:23.349 You know, I see you. 273 00:33:26.439 --> 00:33:28.006 You was down at Chopay's the other day. 274 00:33:28.963 --> 00:33:30.312 Looking all cool and shit. 275 00:33:33.794 --> 00:33:36.884 I see you and I want to holler at you, mija. 276 00:33:39.147 --> 00:33:40.018 Why? 277 00:33:42.411 --> 00:33:43.369 Because you look like you need someone to. 278 00:33:49.201 --> 00:33:50.202 So what it is? 279 00:33:51.725 --> 00:33:53.031 Can I help you start it or what? 280 00:34:08.785 --> 00:34:11.223 Santi was all bad. 281 00:34:11.353 --> 00:34:12.876 Smelled like hairspray and sweat. 282 00:34:15.749 --> 00:34:17.142 Reminded me ofAbuelo. 283 00:34:19.361 --> 00:34:20.232 Know how many times he lost? 284 00:34:22.495 --> 00:34:23.800 Five. 285 00:34:23.931 --> 00:34:25.541 He worshiped boxing 286 00:34:25.628 --> 00:34:27.413 and the boxers who wouldn't quit. 287 00:34:27.500 --> 00:34:28.414 Know how many times he's got back up and won? 288 00:34:29.328 --> 00:34:30.720 59, baby! 289 00:34:31.808 --> 00:34:33.680 He just sticks out his tongue and he knows no matter 290 00:34:33.810 --> 00:34:35.551 where he grow up, no matter how he grow up, 291 00:34:35.638 --> 00:34:36.770 what he could do, you know what I mean? 292 00:34:38.598 --> 00:34:40.469 He says, 293 00:34:40.600 --> 00:34:42.471 "Hey, pass me the ball, pass me the bills. 294 00:34:43.646 --> 00:34:45.518 Albuquerque. 295 00:34:45.605 --> 00:34:48.216 Up to you, champ. Albuquerque. 296 00:34:48.347 --> 00:34:50.262 I'm still the champ. 297 00:34:50.392 --> 00:34:52.264 Hey, Grandma, Grandpa, I'm still your champ!" 298 00:34:54.396 --> 00:34:55.789 I'd tattoo him on my body. 299 00:34:57.747 --> 00:34:59.227 And he promised to never let me get sick. 300 00:35:01.447 --> 00:35:04.276 We'd get a house together. 301 00:35:04.406 --> 00:35:08.193 I'd get pregnant. Stop using. 302 00:35:08.323 --> 00:35:11.544 I'd worship him, because he gave me Nevaeh. 303 00:35:11.674 --> 00:35:15.330 She'd be born at home, just like I was. 304 00:35:15.461 --> 00:35:17.811 He'd play the guitar for our daughter. 305 00:35:17.941 --> 00:35:19.465 He wasn't very good, but I didn't know any better. 306 00:35:21.902 --> 00:35:23.077 Then he was gone. 307 00:35:24.426 --> 00:35:25.427 I was alone. 308 00:35:26.776 --> 00:35:28.082 And seven years later... 309 00:35:47.623 --> 00:35:48.929 I need you to nod your head 310 00:35:49.016 --> 00:35:50.322 that you understand what's going on. 311 00:35:52.454 --> 00:35:53.499 It's in your best interest. 312 00:35:58.504 --> 00:36:00.767 An investigator from CPS is gonna sit down 313 00:36:00.897 --> 00:36:01.942 -with your daughter. -No. 314 00:36:03.378 --> 00:36:04.553 You're going to scare her. 315 00:36:05.119 --> 00:36:06.512 She's already scared. 316 00:36:13.562 --> 00:36:14.737 We've got a house full of love, 317 00:36:14.868 --> 00:36:16.739 you don't even know. 318 00:36:16.870 --> 00:36:18.219 Do you have a contact number for her father? 319 00:36:18.350 --> 00:36:19.307 What do you think he's gonna do? 320 00:36:20.178 --> 00:36:22.005 You just want to take away my baby. 321 00:36:22.136 --> 00:36:24.182 Our intention is never to remove a child 322 00:36:24.312 --> 00:36:25.487 from their home. 323 00:36:26.314 --> 00:36:28.142 Unless we feel the child is in danger. 324 00:36:29.448 --> 00:36:30.797 Do I look dangerous? 325 00:36:32.581 --> 00:36:34.322 The situation at the party-- 326 00:36:34.453 --> 00:36:35.323 Was an accident! 327 00:36:39.806 --> 00:36:42.374 It was-- it was-- 328 00:36:47.988 --> 00:36:49.337 It was an accident. 329 00:36:50.773 --> 00:36:52.340 It's never gonna happen again. 330 00:36:56.779 --> 00:36:57.867 Do you understand why we're here? 331 00:37:08.965 --> 00:37:11.098 Hey, baby girl. Hey. 332 00:37:24.807 --> 00:37:26.026 It's okay. 333 00:37:26.722 --> 00:37:27.680 Here. 334 00:37:29.856 --> 00:37:31.118 Hey, Bearbear. 335 00:37:36.950 --> 00:37:39.605 I'm sorry. I messed up. 336 00:37:40.519 --> 00:37:42.390 Everything's gonna go back to normal. 337 00:37:44.523 --> 00:37:46.264 Will you stop writing down everything I say? 338 00:37:59.842 --> 00:38:01.104 Come here. 339 00:38:16.468 --> 00:38:18.426 -I love you. -I love you. 340 00:38:43.625 --> 00:38:44.626 Fuck them, no? 341 00:38:49.457 --> 00:38:51.329 Fuck them for judging us. 342 00:38:53.331 --> 00:38:54.332 You're a good mother. 343 00:38:55.071 --> 00:38:56.203 I just wanna cry. 344 00:38:57.770 --> 00:38:59.424 But nothing's coming out. 345 00:39:00.250 --> 00:39:01.339 They don't know shit. 346 00:39:05.386 --> 00:39:06.605 What's wrong with me, Toaster? 347 00:39:12.654 --> 00:39:14.134 What are you doing, Chama? 348 00:39:15.048 --> 00:39:17.224 You think you got, like, a choice, really? 349 00:39:18.921 --> 00:39:21.533 A la maquina,dummy. Not even. 350 00:39:23.535 --> 00:39:24.623 Okay, when we was, like, born... 351 00:39:25.885 --> 00:39:28.888 let's say God, yeah, God. 352 00:39:29.323 --> 00:39:30.629 You know, God was like... 353 00:39:33.545 --> 00:39:36.199 "I'm gonna make this child super smart. 354 00:39:36.330 --> 00:39:37.897 And then this one? 355 00:39:37.984 --> 00:39:39.638 This one is gonna be dumb as crackers. 356 00:39:39.768 --> 00:39:41.857 And then this one? Oh, you know what? 357 00:39:41.988 --> 00:39:44.599 That one is gonna get a fucking mental illness, 358 00:39:44.686 --> 00:39:47.341 hell yeah, because that'll be fucking fun, no? 359 00:39:47.472 --> 00:39:48.995 And this one. 360 00:39:49.125 --> 00:39:52.999 This one's gonna have ADHD, hell yeah! 361 00:39:53.129 --> 00:39:54.827 And this one, just for shits and giggles, 362 00:39:54.914 --> 00:39:57.046 let's give it leukemia, right? 363 00:39:57.177 --> 00:39:59.832 Because, you know, life needs more hurdles. 364 00:40:00.528 --> 00:40:02.835 And this one? Yeah, this one. 365 00:40:02.965 --> 00:40:05.098 This one gets an addictive personality. 366 00:40:06.404 --> 00:40:07.274 And that one doesn't." 367 00:40:10.973 --> 00:40:12.235 This is us. 368 00:40:15.717 --> 00:40:18.503 We gotta fucking fight until we win. 369 00:40:20.679 --> 00:40:22.289 We're fucking rebels, no? 370 00:40:24.596 --> 00:40:26.206 And we're gonna take care of all of it. 371 00:40:29.165 --> 00:40:30.297 Just not today. 372 00:41:13.166 --> 00:41:14.950 I want my baby. 373 00:41:20.869 --> 00:41:23.002 -I want my baby. -It's okay. 374 00:41:23.611 --> 00:41:26.092 -Shh. -I want my baby. 375 00:41:26.222 --> 00:41:29.095 Shh, can you just, like, think it 376 00:41:29.225 --> 00:41:30.879 instead of saying it out loud? 377 00:41:31.010 --> 00:41:32.751 I want my baby! 378 00:41:32.881 --> 00:41:34.840 And I would like her to shut the fuck up! 379 00:41:36.537 --> 00:41:37.495 What the fuck you say? 380 00:41:41.150 --> 00:41:42.674 No, it's okay. 381 00:41:43.457 --> 00:41:44.676 You can, like, say that one more time. 382 00:41:45.590 --> 00:41:46.852 Just shut her up. 383 00:41:56.818 --> 00:41:58.516 Do you know what the fuck my friend has been through? 384 00:42:00.213 --> 00:42:01.823 You want her to shut the fuck up? 385 00:42:03.172 --> 00:42:04.522 Just go back to your seat. 386 00:42:06.132 --> 00:42:07.525 Go back to my seat? 387 00:42:09.091 --> 00:42:10.789 I'll stand here if I want to. 388 00:42:16.621 --> 00:42:17.622 You're drunk. 389 00:42:20.015 --> 00:42:21.190 What'd you say? 390 00:42:21.756 --> 00:42:23.541 You fucking stink, you're drunk. 391 00:42:28.110 --> 00:42:30.591 Fuck! Get this crazy bitch off me! 392 00:42:30.722 --> 00:42:31.897 Fuck you! 393 00:42:33.463 --> 00:42:34.552 Fuck! 394 00:42:37.032 --> 00:42:38.817 -Fuck! -Fuck you! 395 00:42:38.947 --> 00:42:40.166 Look at this place, mija. 396 00:42:40.296 --> 00:42:41.689 That's what you dreamed of. 397 00:42:43.865 --> 00:42:45.737 We can put my mother's papal cross right here. 398 00:42:45.867 --> 00:42:47.129 -Mm-hmm. -Yeah? 399 00:42:47.260 --> 00:42:48.391 Mm-hmm. 400 00:42:52.134 --> 00:42:54.920 Maybe, like, a painting right there? 401 00:42:55.007 --> 00:42:56.182 You could put up two. 402 00:42:56.312 --> 00:42:57.749 What do you think? 403 00:42:58.314 --> 00:42:59.446 What do you think? 404 00:43:04.756 --> 00:43:08.934 Oh, and-- oh, I have this doll collection 405 00:43:09.064 --> 00:43:10.892 that my mother found outside a dumpster in the mall. 406 00:43:11.023 --> 00:43:13.460 -Really? -It's in perfect condition. 407 00:43:13.591 --> 00:43:15.070 Well, like, perfect condition for, like, the dumpster, 408 00:43:15.201 --> 00:43:16.594 but I've always wanted to display it. 409 00:43:17.943 --> 00:43:18.857 Where you gonna put it up? 410 00:43:20.728 --> 00:43:22.034 What do you think? 411 00:43:24.166 --> 00:43:25.167 Are you happy or what? 412 00:43:45.013 --> 00:43:46.101 I wanted a miracle. 413 00:43:47.712 --> 00:43:48.626 And I got one. 414 00:43:51.106 --> 00:43:52.499 I didn't need anything else. 415 00:44:22.268 --> 00:44:23.922 My husband was at home with my daughter. 416 00:44:25.924 --> 00:44:27.795 I was at the long bar with my friends. 417 00:44:30.798 --> 00:44:31.756 Boyfriend. 418 00:44:33.671 --> 00:44:34.976 We were all fucked up. 419 00:44:36.891 --> 00:44:37.979 Breaking vows... 420 00:44:39.807 --> 00:44:40.982 and I fell. 421 00:44:41.679 --> 00:44:43.115 Cracked my fucking tailbone. 422 00:44:45.247 --> 00:44:47.162 I put one of those blue ice packs on it. 423 00:44:47.946 --> 00:44:48.947 It broke. 424 00:44:50.775 --> 00:44:52.037 Dyed my ass blue. 425 00:44:55.954 --> 00:44:57.999 So, I go home smelling like turpentine... 426 00:44:59.218 --> 00:45:01.220 with a serious fucking injury, 427 00:45:01.350 --> 00:45:02.569 a blue ass... 428 00:45:03.788 --> 00:45:05.267 all the while, 429 00:45:05.354 --> 00:45:06.399 I was just supposed to be picking up dinner. 430 00:45:09.315 --> 00:45:13.580 ♪ Lord take me home, take me home ♪ 431 00:45:15.974 --> 00:45:22.067 ♪ 'Cause I need somewhere to go ♪ 432 00:45:22.241 --> 00:45:25.374 ♪ My pockets are empty ♪ 433 00:45:25.548 --> 00:45:28.943 ♪ And so is my soul ♪ 434 00:45:29.030 --> 00:45:33.992 ♪ Oh, Lord, take me home, take me home ♪ 435 00:45:53.054 --> 00:45:56.666 ♪ Well I got soul coming out my ears ♪ 436 00:45:56.754 --> 00:46:00.627 ♪ But I ain't got cash to put gas in my pick up ♪ 437 00:46:00.801 --> 00:46:05.371 ♪ Pick up, well I got dreams but I also got fears ♪ 438 00:46:05.458 --> 00:46:07.895 ♪ Which one will win I cannot tell ♪ 439 00:46:08.069 --> 00:46:10.071 ♪ The good King Jesus or the hounds of hell ♪ 440 00:46:10.245 --> 00:46:12.465 ♪ I said I ain't got no money... ♪ 441 00:46:22.562 --> 00:46:24.825 Look who finally decided to show up. 442 00:46:25.434 --> 00:46:27.697 I was out looking for a present for my dad. 443 00:46:27.828 --> 00:46:29.134 I don't know what to get him. 444 00:46:29.264 --> 00:46:31.049 Maybe another World War Two book 445 00:46:31.136 --> 00:46:33.007 with the card inside that says, "Happy birthday. 446 00:46:33.138 --> 00:46:34.530 We got nothing in common." 447 00:46:34.661 --> 00:46:36.794 What? 448 00:46:38.186 --> 00:46:39.927 You know your jacket smells? 449 00:46:40.058 --> 00:46:41.189 You ever wash it? 450 00:46:42.103 --> 00:46:43.583 It's not like it touches my ass, 451 00:46:43.670 --> 00:46:45.150 I'm not, like, farting in it... 452 00:46:46.412 --> 00:46:47.500 all the time. 453 00:46:49.154 --> 00:46:50.372 Oh, come on, that was funny. 454 00:46:51.286 --> 00:46:52.722 You know, you really should laugh more. 455 00:46:52.853 --> 00:46:53.767 Especially here. 456 00:47:07.389 --> 00:47:09.217 Not sure if I'm supposed to be here. 457 00:47:10.479 --> 00:47:12.264 If you're standing there, you probably are. 458 00:47:12.394 --> 00:47:13.700 But we don't detox. 459 00:47:15.049 --> 00:47:16.224 I'm clean. 460 00:47:16.703 --> 00:47:17.704 We're full up. 461 00:47:19.271 --> 00:47:20.794 Plus, it's 3:00 PM. 462 00:47:20.925 --> 00:47:22.317 We don't take anyone past noon. 463 00:47:28.323 --> 00:47:29.934 This is the third place I've tried today. 464 00:47:32.327 --> 00:47:33.851 What's worse than being invisible? 465 00:47:35.330 --> 00:47:36.897 Being seen as disposable. 466 00:47:51.129 --> 00:47:52.608 I go to the hospital. 467 00:47:52.739 --> 00:47:55.046 Be responsible. Get checked. 468 00:47:55.133 --> 00:47:56.134 Dose. 469 00:48:00.181 --> 00:48:01.748 I want to rip off my skin. 470 00:48:04.185 --> 00:48:05.230 The way she looks at me. 471 00:48:08.711 --> 00:48:10.322 Does she need to double up? 472 00:48:11.105 --> 00:48:13.020 The nurse. The fucking nurse. 473 00:48:14.021 --> 00:48:17.285 I'm dirty. Disgusting. 474 00:48:17.416 --> 00:48:19.418 She doesn't see me. 475 00:48:19.548 --> 00:48:21.942 She'll check my chart. 476 00:48:22.029 --> 00:48:23.074 She'll know what I've done. 477 00:49:34.536 --> 00:49:36.321 I told you last time I wanted to sell you, 478 00:49:36.451 --> 00:49:37.757 you know what I mean? 479 00:49:38.540 --> 00:49:40.238 I just didn't like the way y'all went out like that. 480 00:49:40.368 --> 00:49:41.587 I know you got something. 481 00:49:41.717 --> 00:49:42.980 Nah, not this time. 482 00:49:49.682 --> 00:49:51.249 Fuck you up. Fucking kill you. 483 00:49:52.641 --> 00:49:53.903 This shit ain't over. 484 00:50:00.432 --> 00:50:01.781 Santi, what did you do? 485 00:50:06.177 --> 00:50:07.482 Keep your fucking mouth shut. 486 00:51:55.460 --> 00:51:56.374 Who's there? 487 00:52:00.900 --> 00:52:02.380 What are you doing, Chama? 488 00:52:04.077 --> 00:52:05.122 Toaster. 489 00:52:09.387 --> 00:52:11.084 You gotta go away. 490 00:52:16.568 --> 00:52:17.482 Go away! 491 00:52:25.707 --> 00:52:26.969 Toaster. 492 00:52:28.275 --> 00:52:30.712 Toaster! 493 00:52:30.843 --> 00:52:31.974 I thought you wanted me to leave. 494 00:52:35.239 --> 00:52:36.892 No, no. 495 00:52:42.594 --> 00:52:43.638 I'm all alone. 496 00:52:51.298 --> 00:52:53.953 Remember when we first met? 497 00:52:54.083 --> 00:52:56.216 We were working at some old folks' home 498 00:52:56.347 --> 00:52:57.522 and making food and shit. 499 00:53:00.655 --> 00:53:02.483 Yeah. 500 00:53:02.614 --> 00:53:04.485 We both hated the way old people were treated. 501 00:53:06.400 --> 00:53:08.054 Like they were a nuisance. 502 00:53:09.751 --> 00:53:11.927 Like they chose to be old and shit. 503 00:53:12.058 --> 00:53:14.191 You thought I was like your sister and shit. 504 00:53:14.321 --> 00:53:15.888 You got all mad. 505 00:53:33.035 --> 00:53:34.559 You know what the worst part is? 506 00:53:35.647 --> 00:53:37.605 All of it. 507 00:53:37.736 --> 00:53:39.216 When you're out, Chama. 508 00:53:42.393 --> 00:53:44.743 You start smoking the crumbs. 509 00:53:44.873 --> 00:53:46.397 I've seen you do it. 510 00:53:46.527 --> 00:53:48.268 You're a dummy. 511 00:53:48.399 --> 00:53:49.748 You smoke the crumbs and then more. 512 00:53:49.878 --> 00:53:52.968 Then you put Selena on full blast. 513 00:53:53.055 --> 00:53:57.538 But it's not the same as when you kiss it. 514 00:53:57.625 --> 00:53:59.236 -Put it in. -No, shut up! 515 00:54:00.759 --> 00:54:02.108 Open up. 516 00:54:02.239 --> 00:54:04.197 No. No! 517 00:54:06.895 --> 00:54:08.723 I've got something for you, Chama. 518 00:54:10.334 --> 00:54:11.465 No! 519 00:54:23.608 --> 00:54:25.523 I'll do better, I'll do better, 520 00:54:25.653 --> 00:54:27.307 I'll do better, I'll do better, 521 00:54:27.394 --> 00:54:28.569 I promise I'll do better. 522 00:54:31.833 --> 00:54:33.879 You lied. You lied. 523 00:54:44.019 --> 00:54:45.891 No, don't-- don't move, don't move. 524 00:54:45.978 --> 00:54:47.936 Is it cold? Is it cold down there? 525 00:54:48.067 --> 00:54:51.157 Please hold on to my hand. Oh, my God. 526 00:54:59.252 --> 00:55:00.166 Toaster. 527 00:55:01.820 --> 00:55:03.082 Are you fucking with me? 528 00:55:04.083 --> 00:55:05.998 What are you doing, Chama? 529 00:55:06.128 --> 00:55:07.826 Hey. 530 00:55:10.829 --> 00:55:12.309 -Don't you? -No, sorry. 531 00:55:14.398 --> 00:55:15.442 I only got a couple of bucks. 532 00:55:19.881 --> 00:55:21.492 Come on. Please. 533 00:55:25.452 --> 00:55:27.802 Come on. Come on. Please. 534 00:55:34.026 --> 00:55:38.335 Come on. Come on. Come on, please. 535 00:55:46.343 --> 00:55:48.693 I've been talking to you and not once, 536 00:55:48.780 --> 00:55:51.435 through everything, have you said anything back. 537 00:55:54.438 --> 00:55:55.526 Are you not there? 538 00:55:57.005 --> 00:55:58.355 Can you not hear me? 539 00:56:40.309 --> 00:56:41.267 Nine months. 540 00:56:44.705 --> 00:56:45.837 Clean. 541 00:56:50.711 --> 00:56:51.756 Look at your arms. 542 00:56:52.452 --> 00:56:55.368 You're a worthless fucking... 543 00:56:56.804 --> 00:56:57.762 junkie. 544 00:57:00.591 --> 00:57:01.853 Why don't you just kill yourself? 545 00:57:11.950 --> 00:57:12.907 Or you could... 546 00:57:14.735 --> 00:57:15.736 go. 547 00:57:17.085 --> 00:57:18.130 Grab your daughter... 548 00:57:20.349 --> 00:57:21.742 and get out of here. 549 00:57:22.264 --> 00:57:23.614 Get the fuck out of here. 550 00:57:26.791 --> 00:57:27.792 Get the fuck out of here. 551 00:57:30.229 --> 00:57:31.448 Police department, don't move! 552 00:57:31.535 --> 00:57:32.753 Police department! 553 00:58:05.873 --> 00:58:08.528 You wanna know the... 554 00:58:08.659 --> 00:58:11.662 ...two worst words in the English vocabulary? 555 00:58:14.795 --> 00:58:16.754 What if... 556 00:58:17.842 --> 00:58:19.757 ...um, what if... 557 00:58:22.020 --> 00:58:23.630 my dad was the president? 558 00:58:25.502 --> 00:58:26.503 Or what if... 559 00:58:27.939 --> 00:58:29.375 um, my mom... 560 00:58:30.637 --> 00:58:32.291 actually wanted me? 561 00:58:34.946 --> 00:58:36.382 What if... 562 00:58:37.209 --> 00:58:38.950 I was born in London, 563 00:58:39.080 --> 00:58:40.212 or... 564 00:58:41.082 --> 00:58:42.388 or Ireland? 565 00:58:45.086 --> 00:58:47.306 Lived on a farm far away? 566 00:58:54.008 --> 00:58:56.141 What if when I ate food 567 00:58:56.228 --> 00:58:57.969 I could keep it down, 568 00:58:58.099 --> 00:59:01.538 like, that wasn't even a thought, you know? 569 00:59:08.066 --> 00:59:09.328 What if they didn't say... 570 00:59:10.634 --> 00:59:11.548 it was all my fault? 571 00:59:14.638 --> 00:59:15.900 Make up lies about me? 572 00:59:22.776 --> 00:59:24.735 What if he came to get me? 573 00:59:28.216 --> 00:59:29.522 You know where I'm at? 574 00:59:34.483 --> 00:59:36.877 You know, what if I didn't have to ask what if? 575 01:00:17.744 --> 01:00:18.615 Can't. 576 01:00:21.095 --> 01:00:23.750 ♪ Please don't say anything ♪ 577 01:00:23.924 --> 01:00:26.013 ♪ Anything at all ♪ 578 01:00:26.144 --> 01:00:28.929 Look, I've-- I've been calling 579 01:00:29.016 --> 01:00:32.063 over and over and no-- nobody will tell me nothing! 580 01:00:32.237 --> 01:00:35.893 ♪ The silence says it all ♪ 581 01:00:38.852 --> 01:00:41.463 ♪ Blood running through my veins ♪ 582 01:00:41.594 --> 01:00:42.813 Where is she? 583 01:00:49.123 --> 01:00:50.603 Don't worry, 584 01:00:52.126 --> 01:00:53.824 No, don't-- don't hang up. 585 01:00:53.954 --> 01:00:55.869 I just-- I want to know where she is. 586 01:00:55.956 --> 01:00:58.611 ♪ For that call ♪ 587 01:01:02.267 --> 01:01:06.663 ♪ Ooh ♪ 588 01:01:16.411 --> 01:01:17.499 Can't. 589 01:01:18.326 --> 01:01:19.719 Come on! 590 01:01:20.328 --> 01:01:22.635 What the-- what the fuck? 591 01:01:22.766 --> 01:01:23.984 We need help! 592 01:01:24.115 --> 01:01:25.246 Who's gonna help us? 593 01:01:25.638 --> 01:01:27.988 Who? Who, who, who? 594 01:01:28.119 --> 01:01:30.251 -I don't know, I just-- -Say it. What? 595 01:01:30.382 --> 01:01:31.992 -Say it! What are you, dumb? -I feel like-- 596 01:01:32.123 --> 01:01:33.298 Who's gonna help us? 597 01:01:34.168 --> 01:01:36.040 -Who's gonna help us? -I don't know! 598 01:01:37.302 --> 01:01:38.172 I don't know! 599 01:01:40.174 --> 01:01:41.785 -We need help. -Who's gonna help us? 600 01:01:41.915 --> 01:01:43.308 I don't know. I don't know. 601 01:01:44.004 --> 01:01:47.051 I don't-- I feel-- I feel-- 602 01:01:47.181 --> 01:01:49.575 I feel like I wanna rip my hair out. 603 01:01:50.794 --> 01:01:53.144 I wanna tear my skin off 604 01:01:53.274 --> 01:01:54.885 and walk away from this shit 605 01:01:55.015 --> 01:01:56.582 I feel all the time! 606 01:02:00.107 --> 01:02:03.284 ♪ Don't leave me don't leave me ♪ 607 01:02:03.458 --> 01:02:05.722 ♪ Don't leave me don't leave me ♪ 608 01:02:07.854 --> 01:02:08.725 What? 609 01:02:09.726 --> 01:02:10.727 Where are you going? 610 01:02:15.862 --> 01:02:16.863 Where are you going? 611 01:02:18.256 --> 01:02:19.605 You just gonna stumble off? 612 01:02:20.867 --> 01:02:21.999 You gonna stumble right back. 613 01:02:27.265 --> 01:02:28.745 No one gives a shit. 614 01:02:30.268 --> 01:02:31.965 We ain't stupid. 615 01:02:32.096 --> 01:02:33.532 We know there's nothing else. 616 01:02:34.707 --> 01:02:35.839 Where are you going? 617 01:02:37.797 --> 01:02:39.581 Where are you going, Chama? 618 01:03:06.608 --> 01:03:09.133 When Abuelo died, I ran away. 619 01:03:13.441 --> 01:03:14.965 Which brought me right back to you. 620 01:03:17.315 --> 01:03:18.925 Do you want them to think you're loca? 621 01:03:19.012 --> 01:03:20.927 Because that's what they're gonna say, hm? 622 01:03:21.058 --> 01:03:22.233 Look at that crazy, going around losing it. 623 01:03:33.070 --> 01:03:35.463 It's not fair. I don't want Abuelo to go. 624 01:03:36.203 --> 01:03:37.639 You think anyone cares about what you want? 625 01:03:41.426 --> 01:03:42.775 Your sister's not gonna live with us anymore. 626 01:03:43.820 --> 01:03:45.430 Her father wants her. 627 01:03:45.560 --> 01:03:46.823 Take her back to Texas and I'm too fucking tired 628 01:03:46.910 --> 01:03:47.780 to keep fighting him. 629 01:03:50.174 --> 01:03:51.828 Just us now. 630 01:03:59.444 --> 01:04:01.315 Don't be mad at what it is because we're just paying 631 01:04:01.446 --> 01:04:02.534 for something we did in another life. 632 01:04:04.449 --> 01:04:05.319 Here, drink this. 633 01:04:06.843 --> 01:04:08.279 Not too much. 634 01:04:08.409 --> 01:04:09.323 Just enough to make you feel better. 635 01:05:09.166 --> 01:05:10.080 I thought you looked thirsty, mama. 636 01:05:15.607 --> 01:05:17.304 Chart's looking like you're eight weeks along. 637 01:05:18.262 --> 01:05:19.785 Someone talk to you about your options? 638 01:05:23.615 --> 01:05:24.921 It's okay, mama, take your time. 639 01:05:33.973 --> 01:05:35.148 Thank you. 640 01:05:36.106 --> 01:05:37.063 You think you gotta keep it yourself, 641 01:05:37.194 --> 01:05:38.760 but you don't. 642 01:05:39.674 --> 01:05:41.198 I don't know what direction you gonna go with this pregnancy, 643 01:05:41.328 --> 01:05:43.635 but we can help you safely transition. 644 01:05:43.765 --> 01:05:45.245 Detox that stuff out your system. 645 01:05:47.117 --> 01:05:48.379 Or you can continue your way. 646 01:05:51.251 --> 01:05:53.166 You got two options here. 647 01:05:53.297 --> 01:05:55.734 First, you leave, then there's the second one. 648 01:06:03.524 --> 01:06:05.048 I know I'll see her face again. 649 01:06:11.706 --> 01:06:12.925 The bedpost. 650 01:06:14.231 --> 01:06:15.058 The ceiling. 651 01:06:16.276 --> 01:06:17.147 The mole. 652 01:06:18.235 --> 01:06:19.714 The itch. 653 01:06:19.845 --> 01:06:21.194 Did you hear that? 654 01:06:26.765 --> 01:06:28.462 I know I'll see her face again. 655 01:06:33.990 --> 01:06:36.122 The bedpost. The ceiling. 656 01:06:37.341 --> 01:06:39.038 The mole. The itch. 657 01:06:51.616 --> 01:06:53.357 I know I'll see her face again. 658 01:07:00.581 --> 01:07:03.584 The bedpost. The ceiling. The mole. 659 01:07:03.715 --> 01:07:04.846 You're looking better. 660 01:07:08.459 --> 01:07:10.287 I know I'll see her face again. 661 01:07:10.417 --> 01:07:11.592 I know I'll see her face again. 662 01:07:11.723 --> 01:07:13.159 You're looking better. 663 01:07:13.290 --> 01:07:14.682 I know I'll see her face again. 664 01:07:14.813 --> 01:07:16.119 You're looking better. 665 01:07:16.249 --> 01:07:17.033 I know I'll see her face again! 666 01:07:32.048 --> 01:07:33.049 First time here? 667 01:07:37.618 --> 01:07:39.794 They think we're all crazy. 668 01:07:39.925 --> 01:07:41.405 Kind of makes me wanna pop their eye out. 669 01:07:42.841 --> 01:07:45.061 I'm Nell. 670 01:07:49.195 --> 01:07:50.196 Chama. 671 01:07:51.197 --> 01:07:52.198 Like the town. 672 01:07:54.722 --> 01:07:56.072 Chama, New Mexico. 673 01:08:03.296 --> 01:08:05.255 Everything is out to beat us, 674 01:08:06.125 --> 01:08:08.084 but I'm just biding my minutes 'til I get into Guadalupe. 675 01:08:14.133 --> 01:08:15.091 Is this your first time? 676 01:08:16.483 --> 01:08:17.484 Sixth. 677 01:08:22.750 --> 01:08:23.882 See you later. 678 01:08:31.759 --> 01:08:32.586 Bedpost. 679 01:08:36.242 --> 01:08:37.113 Ceiling. 680 01:08:46.687 --> 01:08:48.080 Boredom. 681 01:08:56.697 --> 01:08:57.959 Itch. 682 01:09:01.746 --> 01:09:03.791 Not as sick. 683 01:09:14.367 --> 01:09:15.499 I was in my Grandma's double-wide 684 01:09:15.586 --> 01:09:16.891 playing with her cat. 685 01:09:17.370 --> 01:09:18.719 Her neighbor stopped over and asked 686 01:09:18.850 --> 01:09:19.894 if I wanted to try something. 687 01:09:20.808 --> 01:09:22.593 I was like, "How does it feel?" 688 01:09:22.723 --> 01:09:24.160 He was like, "Don't be a baby. Just try it." 689 01:09:26.031 --> 01:09:27.685 So I smoked meth out of a light bulb. 690 01:09:28.773 --> 01:09:30.166 I was like, "I don't even feel anything." 691 01:09:31.428 --> 01:09:34.300 Then it was days later 692 01:09:34.431 --> 01:09:36.172 and there was no concept of where time went. 693 01:09:36.302 --> 01:09:38.913 All I know is Grandma's cat was dead 694 01:09:39.044 --> 01:09:40.437 and I missed my 16th birthday. 695 01:09:49.010 --> 01:09:52.492 I was just thinking how fucking awesome life is. 696 01:09:52.623 --> 01:09:55.452 I know. We have clothes and groceries. 697 01:09:55.582 --> 01:09:57.236 Mom's not snorting dust off the carpet 698 01:09:57.367 --> 01:09:59.238 and we have college funds. 699 01:09:59.369 --> 01:10:01.240 I'm so glad you're not fuck ups like Tina's kids. 700 01:10:01.371 --> 01:10:03.460 They smell like garbage. 701 01:10:03.590 --> 01:10:05.288 You're also lucky to have a house with a working heater. 702 01:10:05.418 --> 01:10:06.724 Do people live without a heater? 703 01:10:06.811 --> 01:10:08.247 Oh, yes. 704 01:10:08.334 --> 01:10:10.162 Because usually those people 705 01:10:10.249 --> 01:10:12.077 are fucking strangers for coke. 706 01:10:13.644 --> 01:10:15.515 -Hey, Nick. -Hello. 707 01:10:20.738 --> 01:10:22.043 Bring back a chicharrón? 708 01:10:23.262 --> 01:10:24.220 Huh? 709 01:10:25.482 --> 01:10:27.005 Are you even New Mexican? 710 01:10:28.485 --> 01:10:30.443 Born and raised. 711 01:10:30.574 --> 01:10:31.836 You're as New Mexican as Taco Bell green chili. 712 01:10:32.750 --> 01:10:34.969 There, you see? You do have jokes. 713 01:10:35.056 --> 01:10:36.536 They're not necessarily good, but... 714 01:10:57.122 --> 01:11:00.081 ♪ I'm gettin' better, gettin' better all the time ♪ 715 01:11:04.521 --> 01:11:06.349 Hey, hey, hold up. 716 01:11:06.479 --> 01:11:07.698 Hold up. You got a place to go? 717 01:11:09.526 --> 01:11:10.788 Yeah, sure. 718 01:11:11.441 --> 01:11:13.573 There's other spots you can try. 719 01:11:13.660 --> 01:11:14.966 Yeah, everyone's really rolling out the red carpet these days. 720 01:11:23.496 --> 01:11:25.455 Francis, don't. 721 01:11:25.803 --> 01:11:27.587 Come on, Francis. 722 01:11:27.718 --> 01:11:29.807 'Cause I ain't got nothing left! 723 01:11:29.894 --> 01:11:31.809 Please, will you just go inside? 724 01:11:31.896 --> 01:11:33.114 Francis. 725 01:11:38.511 --> 01:11:39.817 People come and go. 726 01:11:39.947 --> 01:11:41.688 If you want it, you want it. 727 01:11:41.819 --> 01:11:44.735 If you don't, don't take someone else's bed. 728 01:11:45.649 --> 01:11:47.128 There's a box of donated clothes in the corner. 729 01:11:53.396 --> 01:11:54.440 Looks like you made it. 730 01:12:21.946 --> 01:12:23.121 Look... 731 01:12:25.558 --> 01:12:26.429 I don't know what I'm doing. 732 01:12:28.648 --> 01:12:29.519 Are you on anything? 733 01:12:31.434 --> 01:12:32.522 No, I'm clean. 734 01:12:35.829 --> 01:12:37.396 Plus, I don't even got any money. 735 01:12:38.136 --> 01:12:39.355 Has that ever stopped you before? 736 01:12:43.446 --> 01:12:44.360 Whatever. 737 01:12:57.590 --> 01:12:58.678 I'm not gonna fuck you. 738 01:13:03.814 --> 01:13:04.684 I'm sorry. 739 01:13:12.823 --> 01:13:13.911 Why are you here? 740 01:13:14.651 --> 01:13:17.088 Because I need to get my daughter back. 741 01:13:25.444 --> 01:13:26.663 Because I need to be normal. 742 01:13:30.928 --> 01:13:31.885 You know what that word means? 743 01:13:33.234 --> 01:13:35.454 The usual, the average, 744 01:13:35.585 --> 01:13:37.543 the typical state or condition. 745 01:13:39.502 --> 01:13:40.503 What's normal to you? 746 01:13:43.854 --> 01:13:44.724 I don't know. 747 01:13:45.986 --> 01:13:46.857 Think about it. 748 01:13:55.953 --> 01:13:57.911 Two girls drinking at a party. 749 01:14:01.915 --> 01:14:03.439 One stops when it's empty. 750 01:14:04.788 --> 01:14:06.572 For the other, it never ends. 751 01:14:07.965 --> 01:14:09.357 So you want to be able to drink-- 752 01:14:09.488 --> 01:14:10.446 No! 753 01:14:12.099 --> 01:14:13.449 I don't fucking need this shit. 754 01:14:20.804 --> 01:14:22.849 Look, it don't have to be easy, 755 01:14:22.980 --> 01:14:25.678 but just, like, fair, you know? 756 01:14:25.809 --> 01:14:27.680 Nothing in life is fair. 757 01:14:27.767 --> 01:14:28.638 We'll see. 758 01:14:29.987 --> 01:14:31.292 What do you know about it? 759 01:14:34.295 --> 01:14:36.646 I was diagnosed with cancer when I was 30. 760 01:14:36.776 --> 01:14:38.082 My parents won't talk to me. 761 01:14:38.212 --> 01:14:40.606 My first boyfriend ended in assault 762 01:14:40.693 --> 01:14:42.521 and my last one cheated on me. 763 01:14:42.956 --> 01:14:44.610 I would love a drink, 764 01:14:44.697 --> 01:14:46.177 but I haven't had one in 12 years. 765 01:14:47.221 --> 01:14:49.746 Nothing in life is fair, nothing is normal. 766 01:14:50.747 --> 01:14:51.965 But there's beauty if you fight to see it. 767 01:14:57.841 --> 01:15:00.452 You're gay? 768 01:15:00.583 --> 01:15:01.627 That's what you took away from that? 769 01:15:07.067 --> 01:15:08.504 You know what I did when I first got sober? 770 01:15:10.375 --> 01:15:11.463 I'm sure you're gonna tell me. 771 01:15:15.685 --> 01:15:16.816 I wrote a moment on each of those. 772 01:15:18.905 --> 01:15:20.777 The moments that got me down, the ones that kept me going. 773 01:15:20.907 --> 01:15:22.300 Everything, leading up 'til now. 774 01:15:25.651 --> 01:15:26.696 Sounds like a lot of triggers. 775 01:15:28.132 --> 01:15:29.916 When you're done, 776 01:15:30.047 --> 01:15:31.004 stick 'em on that wall. 777 01:15:47.064 --> 01:15:47.847 What happened when you were born? 778 01:15:50.241 --> 01:15:51.503 I tried to kill myself. 779 01:15:52.809 --> 01:15:54.201 There you go. 780 01:15:54.288 --> 01:15:55.376 Start from the beginning. 781 01:16:06.213 --> 01:16:08.825 Cord wrapped around my neck. 782 01:16:08.912 --> 01:16:10.522 It was my first struggle. 783 01:16:17.747 --> 01:16:18.661 This world. 784 01:16:20.488 --> 01:16:21.577 School. 785 01:16:21.707 --> 01:16:23.753 I failed. 786 01:16:23.883 --> 01:16:26.582 If I can fix cars I can fix anything. 787 01:16:30.673 --> 01:16:33.676 My mother's new boyfriend. 788 01:16:33.763 --> 01:16:35.721 My new boyfriend. 789 01:16:35.808 --> 01:16:38.768 He called me beautiful, ugly. 790 01:16:38.898 --> 01:16:40.160 Look at this place, mija. 791 01:16:42.032 --> 01:16:43.381 This is what you dreamed of. 792 01:16:43.511 --> 01:16:44.687 You gave me no fucking choice 793 01:16:44.774 --> 01:16:45.688 and you have to live with it! 794 01:16:45.818 --> 01:16:46.993 You did this, Elena. 795 01:16:47.124 --> 01:16:48.865 Transforming. 796 01:16:49.387 --> 01:16:50.475 Shut your fucking mouth. 797 01:16:51.737 --> 01:16:53.870 Santi. A dealer. 798 01:16:54.958 --> 01:16:56.829 My first kiss. 799 01:16:56.960 --> 01:16:59.049 Curious. 800 01:17:07.013 --> 01:17:09.712 Play the same song over and over. 801 01:17:09.842 --> 01:17:11.583 I stuck a needle in my veins. 802 01:17:11.714 --> 01:17:13.629 My sister listened to me. 803 01:17:13.759 --> 01:17:15.587 My sister wouldn't ask if I came home. 804 01:17:15.718 --> 01:17:17.676 Abuelo used to say 805 01:17:17.763 --> 01:17:18.895 that if you find a black feather... 806 01:17:20.157 --> 01:17:21.419 it's a warning. 807 01:17:24.901 --> 01:17:26.511 Come on, come on, we don't have much time. 808 01:17:32.865 --> 01:17:34.171 I love you. 809 01:17:34.301 --> 01:17:36.695 I love you, I love you. 810 01:17:50.927 --> 01:17:52.537 Where are you going, Chama? 811 01:17:53.190 --> 01:17:54.495 You broke it! 812 01:17:57.455 --> 01:17:59.979 I am my mother's lost sisters. 813 01:18:06.856 --> 01:18:08.466 The dealer. 814 01:18:13.601 --> 01:18:14.559 Scared. 815 01:18:26.397 --> 01:18:27.572 Always felt like home here. 816 01:18:28.747 --> 01:18:31.010 -The river. -It's dirty. 817 01:18:31.141 --> 01:18:32.533 Half the time it doesn't even have water. 818 01:18:36.581 --> 01:18:38.322 You find what it is you were looking for? 819 01:18:38.452 --> 01:18:40.411 -Don't be like that. -Like what, Chama? 820 01:18:41.325 --> 01:18:42.195 Like your mother? 821 01:18:43.196 --> 01:18:44.023 What else have you got? 822 01:18:53.293 --> 01:18:55.339 Your Abuelo used to say, "I don't need a watch-- 823 01:18:55.469 --> 01:18:56.557 I got the river." 824 01:19:06.089 --> 01:19:06.916 If you leave... 825 01:19:08.569 --> 01:19:10.049 I don't ever want to see you again. 826 01:19:13.618 --> 01:19:15.228 I wish I would've put my arms around you. 827 01:19:16.447 --> 01:19:17.448 One last time. 828 01:19:19.406 --> 01:19:22.279 I wish I would have held you, felt you, 829 01:19:22.409 --> 01:19:24.455 smelled that lipstick. 830 01:19:24.585 --> 01:19:27.066 I wish I would have been home when they found you. 831 01:19:27.197 --> 01:19:28.894 I hated you. 832 01:19:29.025 --> 01:19:30.940 I blamed you. 833 01:19:31.070 --> 01:19:32.637 I skipped your funeral and Mari hated me. 834 01:19:35.683 --> 01:19:37.903 But I pretend in that last moment... 835 01:19:39.426 --> 01:19:41.602 you saw something beautiful. 836 01:20:08.368 --> 01:20:09.239 I used to be married. 837 01:20:11.371 --> 01:20:12.938 He's famous, I can't tell you who it was. 838 01:20:14.461 --> 01:20:15.811 Okay. 839 01:20:17.421 --> 01:20:18.857 I was independent though. 840 01:20:19.510 --> 01:20:21.381 Yeah, I loved to work. 841 01:20:21.512 --> 01:20:24.297 I ran five restaurants. 842 01:20:24.384 --> 01:20:27.344 I mean, most people only, like, oversee one. 843 01:20:27.474 --> 01:20:28.824 Wanna know how many I ran? 844 01:20:30.564 --> 01:20:32.001 -Five? -Five! 845 01:20:33.176 --> 01:20:35.700 Yeah, they respected me. 846 01:20:35.831 --> 01:20:37.136 You know, like... 847 01:20:38.050 --> 01:20:39.443 I wasn't a bitch to them or anything 848 01:20:39.573 --> 01:20:41.749 if that's what you're thinking, 849 01:20:41.880 --> 01:20:42.838 but I was the boss. 850 01:20:44.404 --> 01:20:45.841 You should see the way they looked at me 851 01:20:45.971 --> 01:20:46.972 when I walked into a Chili's. 852 01:20:48.582 --> 01:20:50.367 Nell likes to talk. 853 01:20:50.497 --> 01:20:52.586 A lot. 854 01:20:52.717 --> 01:20:55.111 She says she first tried heroin at age ten. 855 01:20:55.241 --> 01:20:57.330 Given to her by a neighbor. 856 01:20:57.417 --> 01:21:00.725 She told her father, who went to her and beat her. 857 01:21:00.856 --> 01:21:02.596 She started cutting her knuckles in high school, 858 01:21:02.727 --> 01:21:04.816 but her sister found out and threw away the razors. 859 01:21:07.036 --> 01:21:09.342 All her friends worked at a local Chili's. 860 01:21:09.473 --> 01:21:11.562 Nell claims she did, too. 861 01:21:11.692 --> 01:21:15.087 She goes on and on and on about it. 862 01:21:15.218 --> 01:21:17.176 I just want to scrub a toilet in peace. 863 01:21:17.307 --> 01:21:18.961 Yeah, I don't really like Chili's. 864 01:21:21.006 --> 01:21:22.312 Oh, you're one of those... 865 01:21:23.487 --> 01:21:24.880 Applebee's motherfuckers? 866 01:21:31.451 --> 01:21:34.280 Anyways I was doing really well, you know? 867 01:21:34.411 --> 01:21:35.542 My husband was like... 868 01:22:35.428 --> 01:22:37.300 Okay, let's check in. 869 01:22:39.476 --> 01:22:40.781 It's a cloudy day out there today. 870 01:22:42.392 --> 01:22:43.436 What's that make everyone think of? 871 01:22:58.451 --> 01:22:59.322 Rain. 872 01:23:01.585 --> 01:23:03.326 Makes me think of my son playing in the puddles. 873 01:23:05.023 --> 01:23:05.981 Sweaters. 874 01:23:08.070 --> 01:23:09.985 I hate t-shirts and short pants. 875 01:23:15.599 --> 01:23:16.774 How about you, Gata? 876 01:23:18.428 --> 01:23:19.298 Go fuck yourself. 877 01:23:22.345 --> 01:23:23.694 That's what my ma used to always say. 878 01:23:26.001 --> 01:23:27.002 Clouds remind me of her. 879 01:23:29.439 --> 01:23:30.309 Every time I'd mess up... 880 01:23:31.615 --> 01:23:33.704 like, when she'd catch me slipping. 881 01:23:35.140 --> 01:23:36.011 "Great... 882 01:23:37.099 --> 01:23:38.274 go fuck yourself, Gata." 883 01:23:39.666 --> 01:23:41.538 First time I came here, 884 01:23:41.668 --> 01:23:44.367 -Nick suggested that I say-- -Go love yourself. 885 01:23:45.194 --> 01:23:46.847 Yeah, so now... 886 01:23:48.719 --> 01:23:50.025 when I think about my ma... 887 01:23:51.722 --> 01:23:52.853 it's like... 888 01:23:55.334 --> 01:23:56.379 Go love yourself, Gata. 889 01:24:00.296 --> 01:24:01.819 Go love yourself back. 890 01:24:23.449 --> 01:24:24.363 Ow! 891 01:24:34.808 --> 01:24:36.767 Well, I did it, because I wanted to. 892 01:24:38.029 --> 01:24:38.943 Um... 893 01:24:40.684 --> 01:24:44.079 I climbed out of the second story window 894 01:24:44.209 --> 01:24:47.386 at my parents' house and, um, I jumped. 895 01:24:47.517 --> 01:24:50.172 Probably broke, like, two bones. 896 01:24:51.042 --> 01:24:53.392 But, you know, he was-- 897 01:24:54.741 --> 01:24:56.526 he was older, uh... 898 01:24:58.310 --> 01:25:01.096 he liked me, uh, everyone liked me. 899 01:25:04.925 --> 01:25:07.667 And, um, I wanted to see him. 900 01:25:08.538 --> 01:25:12.281 So, yeah, we got a little strung out... 901 01:25:15.501 --> 01:25:16.415 and, uh... 902 01:25:18.983 --> 01:25:20.115 well, I woke up in a trailer 903 01:25:20.245 --> 01:25:21.986 with four men... 904 01:25:23.727 --> 01:25:24.554 that I didn't know. 905 01:25:26.860 --> 01:25:28.645 I don't even think they knew my name. 906 01:25:31.648 --> 01:25:34.694 I had to take Clonazepam, so I wouldn't get seizures. 907 01:25:35.608 --> 01:25:37.262 But one night after my husband got rough... 908 01:25:38.568 --> 01:25:39.960 I took too many and OD'd. 909 01:25:41.223 --> 01:25:43.225 This spark plug is fried. 910 01:25:44.139 --> 01:25:45.401 I got arrested in middle school. 911 01:25:47.272 --> 01:25:48.621 Sent to Las Nunes. 912 01:25:49.144 --> 01:25:50.449 He ordered a youth diagnostic. 913 01:25:51.537 --> 01:25:53.235 I spent Christmas in jail. 914 01:25:53.365 --> 01:25:54.453 When I got out of the hospital... 915 01:25:55.672 --> 01:25:56.629 the doctor... 916 01:25:57.717 --> 01:25:59.458 prescribed me Clonazepam. 917 01:25:59.806 --> 01:26:01.243 But I liked jail. 918 01:26:02.069 --> 01:26:03.288 No one was gonna molest me there. 919 01:26:05.334 --> 01:26:07.336 People always ask what's your favorite number. 920 01:26:08.250 --> 01:26:10.034 I always thought that was a dumbass question. 921 01:26:10.730 --> 01:26:11.992 Favorite color I get... 922 01:26:13.037 --> 01:26:14.473 but it's not like you're gonna decorate your house 923 01:26:14.604 --> 01:26:15.474 in multiples of seven. 924 01:26:17.302 --> 01:26:18.999 But I'm a survivor of suicide. 925 01:26:20.740 --> 01:26:22.351 I tried to kill myself eight times. 926 01:26:24.440 --> 01:26:25.615 I know I won't live to see nine. 927 01:26:26.746 --> 01:26:28.008 So eight. 928 01:26:28.966 --> 01:26:30.402 That's my favorite. 929 01:26:30.533 --> 01:26:32.491 Okay. Should be good. 930 01:26:36.582 --> 01:26:38.497 Wow, nice. 931 01:26:39.672 --> 01:26:40.586 Thanks. 932 01:27:07.700 --> 01:27:10.355 I've already been transferred six times. 933 01:27:10.442 --> 01:27:11.704 Does anyone actually work there? 934 01:27:14.490 --> 01:27:15.360 Hello? 935 01:27:24.282 --> 01:27:25.240 Coke? 936 01:27:27.938 --> 01:27:29.331 Mostly opiates. 937 01:27:31.420 --> 01:27:34.553 Mm, no, do you want a Coke? 938 01:27:37.643 --> 01:27:39.384 -Yeah, Sprite. -Okay. 939 01:28:00.318 --> 01:28:01.450 I never worked at Chili's. 940 01:28:06.542 --> 01:28:07.456 They wouldn't hire me. 941 01:28:13.940 --> 01:28:15.464 Maybe you should have tried Applebee's. 942 01:29:06.123 --> 01:29:07.777 He was a penguin, but he was cold all the time, 943 01:29:07.907 --> 01:29:09.431 so he wore a hat 944 01:29:09.561 --> 01:29:11.346 and a little muffler around his neck. 945 01:29:11.868 --> 01:29:13.348 Nobody? 946 01:29:15.654 --> 01:29:16.786 I don't really know what's going on with my head. 947 01:29:16.916 --> 01:29:18.962 -I don't know. -Okay. 948 01:29:19.092 --> 01:29:20.180 All right, we're starting. 949 01:29:22.531 --> 01:29:23.836 Where's Nell at? 950 01:29:24.750 --> 01:29:25.838 She left. 951 01:29:26.796 --> 01:29:27.797 And if she left... 952 01:29:40.200 --> 01:29:42.551 Please hang up and try your call again. 953 01:29:46.119 --> 01:29:47.556 I've called CPS a million times, 954 01:29:47.686 --> 01:29:49.384 and all I get is the run around. 955 01:29:49.514 --> 01:29:51.211 -They're busy. -Whose side you on? 956 01:29:54.171 --> 01:29:55.825 They won't even let me see her, Nick. 957 01:29:55.955 --> 01:29:57.087 I gotta see her. 958 01:29:57.957 --> 01:29:58.871 You will. 959 01:30:15.932 --> 01:30:18.500 Hey, it's me. Don't hang up. 960 01:30:19.588 --> 01:30:22.155 If you check out, you come back by 8:00 PM. 961 01:30:22.242 --> 01:30:25.028 If you come back by 8:00 PM, you take a test. 962 01:30:25.158 --> 01:30:27.465 Anything you bring back will be searched. 963 01:30:27.596 --> 01:30:29.293 Anything on the list will be confiscated. 964 01:30:30.163 --> 01:30:31.643 That includes mouthwash. 965 01:30:32.252 --> 01:30:34.385 Don't think we're not wise on mouthwash. 966 01:31:23.913 --> 01:31:24.783 We're closed. 967 01:31:25.697 --> 01:31:26.611 That's okay. 968 01:31:28.700 --> 01:31:29.832 I don't got any money. 969 01:31:30.963 --> 01:31:32.095 I have somewhere to be. 970 01:31:32.791 --> 01:31:33.879 Can't get caught up in you right now. 971 01:31:33.966 --> 01:31:35.359 I'm not in any trouble. 972 01:31:36.708 --> 01:31:38.797 Well, you know what I mean. 973 01:31:42.714 --> 01:31:43.976 I heard you've been checking up on Nevaeh. 974 01:31:46.152 --> 01:31:48.720 Yeah. I understand. 975 01:31:49.765 --> 01:31:51.593 You're incognizant, you don't give a shit. 976 01:31:52.768 --> 01:31:53.856 I have enough of my own problems to worry about. 977 01:31:57.990 --> 01:31:59.209 I can't be your broken record. 978 01:32:16.095 --> 01:32:17.532 Mari. 979 01:32:26.236 --> 01:32:27.411 I got shoes on. 980 01:32:50.956 --> 01:32:52.436 I keep thinking about Toaster. 981 01:32:53.698 --> 01:32:54.569 What she told me. 982 01:32:56.353 --> 01:32:58.398 We gotta fight until we fucking win. 983 01:33:26.165 --> 01:33:27.906 Don't look at me like that. 984 01:33:28.037 --> 01:33:29.386 She's taking a shit. She'll be-- 985 01:33:29.516 --> 01:33:31.344 Where are you taking us Nick? Disneyland? 986 01:33:31.475 --> 01:33:33.651 Yeah, right, I bet he's gonna take us to an NA meeting. 987 01:33:33.782 --> 01:33:34.783 Yeah, I'd be down for that. 988 01:33:34.913 --> 01:33:36.219 Come on. 989 01:33:37.002 --> 01:33:38.177 -Let's go to Splash Mountain. -Yep, yep! 990 01:33:38.308 --> 01:33:40.005 Come on, Gata. Smile for me. 991 01:33:40.571 --> 01:33:42.878 Here's your smile, Shorty. 992 01:33:43.008 --> 01:33:44.662 Don't be like that. Just one. Don't be like that! 993 01:33:44.793 --> 01:33:46.577 All right. Everybody in. 994 01:33:46.708 --> 01:33:47.883 Hey, what about Chama? 995 01:33:48.013 --> 01:33:48.927 Yeah, where's Chama at? 996 01:33:56.152 --> 01:33:57.109 It's fucking hot in here. 997 01:33:59.808 --> 01:34:00.635 Come on, girl. 998 01:34:04.769 --> 01:34:06.118 I like the sun on my face. 999 01:34:09.948 --> 01:34:12.516 It calms the pounding in my chest. 1000 01:34:13.952 --> 01:34:15.127 I wonder where we're going. 1001 01:34:18.217 --> 01:34:21.003 If Nick really gets it. 1002 01:34:21.133 --> 01:34:23.135 I told him the truth. 1003 01:34:23.266 --> 01:34:25.660 About the doctor. That I'm scared. 1004 01:34:37.236 --> 01:34:39.021 The sun feels bright on my face. 1005 01:35:00.738 --> 01:35:02.609 Take this over Magic Kingdom. 1006 01:35:02.740 --> 01:35:04.524 Damn, this shit's no joke. 1007 01:35:08.311 --> 01:35:09.181 Come on, Lucy. 1008 01:35:48.612 --> 01:35:50.745 There are thousands of women that can't have kids. 1009 01:35:54.444 --> 01:35:55.750 And God's got jokes. 1010 01:36:00.885 --> 01:36:01.756 You want this baby? 1011 01:36:09.154 --> 01:36:10.765 But I don't deserve either of them. 1012 01:36:18.337 --> 01:36:20.209 My first boyfriend ended in assault. 1013 01:36:23.386 --> 01:36:24.474 Yeah, uh... 1014 01:36:27.042 --> 01:36:28.130 I wasn't the victim. 1015 01:36:35.702 --> 01:36:36.660 I was 18. 1016 01:36:37.748 --> 01:36:38.662 High. 1017 01:36:40.882 --> 01:36:42.927 Made a terrible decision, 1018 01:36:43.058 --> 01:36:45.930 ended up hurting the one person that I truly loved. 1019 01:36:52.371 --> 01:36:54.678 Spent some time locked up, hating myself. 1020 01:36:56.332 --> 01:36:57.812 Yeah, that never really goes away. 1021 01:37:01.990 --> 01:37:05.428 But if you can turn guilt, 1022 01:37:05.558 --> 01:37:07.082 hate into something else... 1023 01:37:12.478 --> 01:37:14.524 you can do something for the world 1024 01:37:14.654 --> 01:37:16.918 that's beyond yourself. 1025 01:37:27.363 --> 01:37:28.668 We're at the bottom of a hill. 1026 01:37:30.496 --> 01:37:31.671 Can you climb? 1027 01:39:44.282 --> 01:39:45.153 The 15th. 1028 01:39:47.416 --> 01:39:48.286 Next Friday. 1029 01:39:51.246 --> 01:39:52.334 You'll get to see your daughter. 1030 01:40:29.588 --> 01:40:31.199 My name isn't really Chama. 1031 01:40:34.506 --> 01:40:37.335 I saw this postcard once of a mother and daughter 1032 01:40:37.466 --> 01:40:39.468 standing outside Chama, New Mexico. 1033 01:40:41.383 --> 01:40:43.037 I wanted to live in that postcard. 1034 01:40:48.172 --> 01:40:49.043 I talk to my mom. 1035 01:40:51.784 --> 01:40:52.872 And tell her things... 1036 01:40:54.265 --> 01:40:55.440 but not in real life... 1037 01:40:56.311 --> 01:40:58.052 because this reality took her away. 1038 01:41:02.360 --> 01:41:04.580 I talk to her, because I got to try 1039 01:41:04.710 --> 01:41:06.190 to understand my scars... 1040 01:41:08.279 --> 01:41:09.933 and not just pick at my scabs. 1041 01:41:18.637 --> 01:41:19.899 I've been through a lot of shit. 1042 01:41:22.641 --> 01:41:24.252 I've put people through... 1043 01:41:25.688 --> 01:41:26.863 a lot more. 1044 01:41:29.735 --> 01:41:30.867 It's not fair. 1045 01:41:33.870 --> 01:41:35.089 But like Nick says... 1046 01:41:37.178 --> 01:41:38.092 "Nothing is fair... 1047 01:41:39.484 --> 01:41:40.355 nothing is normal." 1048 01:41:45.838 --> 01:41:46.926 What have I done? 1049 01:41:50.626 --> 01:41:51.583 What am I doing? 1050 01:41:55.152 --> 01:41:56.240 If I'm not Chama, then... 1051 01:41:59.374 --> 01:42:00.462 who am I? 1052 01:42:15.564 --> 01:42:16.391 I'm an addict. 1053 01:42:21.309 --> 01:42:22.484 I've slept on the streets, but... 1054 01:42:24.399 --> 01:42:25.487 I'm not homeless. 1055 01:42:29.578 --> 01:42:31.232 I'm terrified. 1056 01:42:37.760 --> 01:42:38.848 We need help. 1057 01:42:41.111 --> 01:42:41.981 I will help. 1058 01:42:53.732 --> 01:42:54.646 I'm here... 1059 01:42:55.821 --> 01:42:56.996 and I will be a mother. 1060 01:42:59.608 --> 01:43:00.435 I am a mother. 1061 01:46:03.182 --> 01:46:06.969 ♪ Flower of the flowers flowers from above ♪ 1062 01:46:07.143 --> 01:46:11.539 ♪ Today and forever, know you have my love ♪ 1063 01:46:11.713 --> 01:46:15.586 ♪ Flower of the flowers flowers from above ♪ 1064 01:46:15.760 --> 01:46:19.764 ♪ Today and forever, know you have my love ♪ 1065 01:47:33.403 --> 01:47:34.926 -Love you, Peggy. -Love you, Mama. 1066 01:47:49.811 --> 01:47:54.555 ♪ You came into my life ♪ 1067 01:48:02.867 --> 01:48:08.046 ♪ Like you've always been ♪ 1068 01:48:08.220 --> 01:48:13.269 ♪ By my side ♪ 1069 01:48:15.880 --> 01:48:22.234 ♪ I remember you I remember you ♪ 1070 01:48:22.408 --> 01:48:27.979 ♪ I remember you I remember you ♪ 1071 01:48:28.153 --> 01:48:33.507 ♪ All right ♪ 1072 01:48:34.638 --> 01:48:39.513 ♪ All right ♪ 1073 01:48:42.951 --> 01:48:46.998 ♪ Came into my life ♪ 1074 01:48:49.000 --> 01:48:55.616 ♪ And it became clear to me ♪ 1075 01:48:55.703 --> 01:49:00.577 ♪ Like you've always been ♪ 1076 01:49:00.751 --> 01:49:05.887 ♪ By my side ♪ 1077 01:49:08.716 --> 01:49:15.157 ♪ I remember you I remember you ♪ 1078 01:49:15.331 --> 01:49:20.815 ♪ I remember you I remember you ♪ 1079 01:49:20.902 --> 01:49:25.689 ♪ All right ♪ 1080 01:49:27.691 --> 01:49:30.825 ♪ All right ♪ 1081 01:50:01.029 --> 01:50:06.469 ♪ You came into my life ♪ 1082 01:50:08.123 --> 01:50:14.695 ♪ And it became clear to me ♪ 1083 01:50:14.869 --> 01:50:20.831 ♪ That you'd always be ♪ 1084 01:50:21.005 --> 01:50:26.402 ♪ By my side ♪ 1085 01:50:29.013 --> 01:50:35.629 ♪ I remember you I remember you ♪ 1086 01:50:35.803 --> 01:50:41.112 ♪ I remember you I remember you ♪ 1087 01:50:41.286 --> 01:50:46.335 ♪ All right ♪ 1088 01:50:48.337 --> 01:50:52.646 ♪ All right ♪ 1089 01:50:55.126 --> 01:50:59.740 ♪ All right ♪