Downloaded from YTS.MX
♪ You and me were meant to be ♪
Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX
♪ Walking free in harmony ♪
♪ One fine day we'll fly away ♪
♪ Don't you know That Rome wasn't built in a day? ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪
♪ In this day and age It's so easy to stress ♪
♪ 'Cause people act strange And you can never second-guess… ♪
[phone dialing, line ringing]
♪ In order to love, child ♪
-♪ We got to be strong… ♪ -[line continues ringing]
[voicemail beeps]
[in English ] Hi, it's Bob.
My hands are full, I can't take your call right now. Leave me a message.
[line beeps]
[woman, in English] Hi, honey, I finished the research.
I've got them. They're so beautiful.
I'll take them to the lab, and I'll be home soon.
I've missed you.
Could you finally charge your phone? Bye.
-Thank you. -Thank you, have a nice day.
-Bye. -Bye. Have a nice day.
[man] Hello?
-[in Polish] Miss Kasia-- -[in English] Just for a moment.
[in English] Call the police.
[dialing]
-And an ambulance. -Okay.
[beeps]
[muffled moaning]
-[man moans] -[woman] Yes!
[woman moaning loudly]
Bob?
[gasps]
Kate!
You can't pick up the phone because your hands are full of what?
I can explain!
[in Polish] What do you want to explain? You lousy asshole!
-[in English] Kate, don't do this! -[in Polish] Lying asshole!
-[in English] Kate, don't-- -[in English] How could you?
Don't do it.
You're a liar!
Honey, please…
Oh my God, I don't believe it's happening!
Listen, don't…
[in Polish] You drone!
-Lazy piece of crap! I can't believe it! -No! It's not like that…
I'm doing research, and he's fooling around!
[in English] Kate, no, Kate!
-[in English] What? -English, please.
-Asshole! Liar! -[glass shattering]
-[female officer] Freeze! -[male officer] Easy, lady!
-Easy! Easy! -[screams]
[Kasia whimpering]
[handcuffs clicking]
Let's go, move!
Take it easy.
Move. Move.
Let's go. Move!
[Kasia] Leave me alone!
Where's she from?
-From my neighborhood. -What's your neighborhood?
From hell?
[clicks teeth]
Worse.
Zakopane.
[bees buzzing]
[in Polish] We were going to save the world together.
But it didn't work out.
Time to go home.
[buzzing grows louder]
THE TAMING OF THE SHREW
[woman] Three years ago, we were named
the fastest-growing firm in the furniture sector.
Two years ago, our furniture won a gold medal at the Milan expo.
A year ago--
Ms. Agata. I see you've had success after success.
Like the prime minister on state TV.
That's why, Mr. Chairman, we need a new line of credit
for further investments.
I understand, but…
I'm afraid that if I step outside,
I won't see a line of trucks waiting for furniture? Exactly.
Unfortunately, this beautiful ship of yours is like the Titanic.
Only a miracle could save it.
That's what I wanted to talk about.
[man] You are so stubborn.
-Is that… -Mm-hmm.
No, no… It couldn't be…
And yet it is.
No. Deposits of this natural resource are rarer than…
I don't know. Diamonds.
As it happens, one of them is virtually mine already.
It means you've found a real buried treasure.
[chuckles]
The Dubai Collection.
An order worth 15 million euros.
-From whom? -A customer from the Gulf.
With a double name we both know.
Of course, I could look for an investor,
but my dearly departed father could always count on your bank.
Your father was…
a great businessman, a visionary.
Very well, Ms. Agata.
One more question.
Doesn't half of this company belong to your,
to put it mildly,
imprudent brother?
[shrieking] Dude! I don't know who you are or what you want!
It's a mistake!
Okay, how much?
Ten? Twenty? Thirty?
Fuck, fuck, fuck! Why so nervous?
Why so serious, man? All right! Thirty!
I'll pay every penny!
-Ten! -What?
I've never owed anyone a million!
[yelps] Is this about Morocco?
But I paid in installments.
Maybe not everything, but it wasn't a million!
-You have one week. -Two!
[whimpering, screaming]
Ten million!
-You have one week. -Right.
[dialing]
[line ringing]
[gasps] Hi, Sis, hello.
I'm back!
What do you mean "why"? I've missed you.
Maybe we could meet, have a chat?
But I can come over, any time.
I love you!
-[gasping] -[phone beeps]
[sighing]
[uplifting music playing]
Flipping hell!
What are you wearing?
What? We've got an important guest coming,
so I have to look elegant, no?
The Ritz in Paris is an elegant place.
I can assure you they don't admit people in such suits there.
An expert… of savoir vivre over here.
If you're so smart,
why don't you leave for Paris to serve sauerkraut soup?
-Out of pity. -Oh! Out of pity.
Right! No one else could stand being in this shack with you!
One more word…
Oh! Here comes your eagle.
Where are you parking?
Where's the head?
Where else? In the rear.
Your head is in the rear!
Put your head on and park elsewhere!
Dad, me, and Franek wanted to talk to you before work.
-Okay, sweetheart, after work. -[car starts]
Dad, listen…
I told you, after work.
Here she comes! Franek, come on, places, everyone!
Come on, take your place!
I'm telling you, Jędruś, when I con that townie,
you'll thank me for the rest of your life and take back what you said.
Welcome! Welcome to our retreat!
-Hello. -Come in, our heartfelt welcome.
[Polish folk music playing]
[patrons chattering]
Come in, come in, Madam Chairwoman. Our heartfelt welcome.
[Agata] We'll be talking here?
Even Bangkok airport is quieter than this.
For VIPs, we have the VIP room.
Here, Madam Chairwoman, this way.
Ms. Chairwoman, greetings.
-I'm here, I have stamps and forms. -What is this drunk doing here?
Insulting a state official carries a severe penalty.
Jędruś, let it go.
He will see to the formalities, so you know I'm not trying to swindle you.
Swindle? Madam Chairwoman!
Nobody here has ever swindled anybody.
Here, madam.
Beautiful! Here.
Here, madam.
[distant horn blaring]
[train clacking]
RAILWAY STATION
[sighs]
[horse whinnying]
Wait. Wait, I'm coming.
God bless! Can I help with the luggage, take you anywhere?
-No, thank you-- -A beautiful woman shouldn't carry that.
We'll go where you need to go, find you a place to stay.
-It'll be cheap, we have a discount today. -Save that patter for the townies.
[motorcycle revving]
You! You townie!
Watch where you're going! It's Zakopane, not a highway!
-Almost killed me. -[Polish folk music playing]
This is the valley you're selling me.
Yes, Madam Chairwoman.
The whole thing!
According to the land registry number 567 slash 89
slash 45 slash 36 with the date--
-Yes! -Hold on!
-[man] December 16th… -Dad!
-Can we? -[harsh whisper] Not now!
-[man] …the valley is… -Haven't I said yes already?
-I haven't confirmed it. -Watch out, or I'll confirm you!
-Is it or is it not? -Basically…
Madam Chairwoman, sit down.
We can sign the contract even today.
We can't.
I'm not selling anything.
-What? -Just that!
This morning you were selling and now you have a problem? What is it?
My mother gave birth to me on this land. I'm sentimental!
You were born in a hospital in Zakopane, you idiot!
Excuse me, Madam Chairwoman. One moment.
Are you dumb? Have you seen the price? Zeroes from here to Sopot.
I don't give a shit, I don't like that woman!
She has no respect! I won't talk to her or sell her anything!
[Franek, muffled] Dad! Can we talk now?
No, you can't!
You will not tell my son what he can or can't do!
[Franek] So can we talk or not?
-You can! -You can't!
I know what this is about!
You're pissed I'll make more because my half is bigger!
It might be bigger, but worth shit without mine! [snickers]
I'm pregnant!
-No, you're not! -Dad.
Now that's pretty much out of your hands.
-With whom? -With him.
I do not agree!
[echoing drums playing]
I do agree!
You won't marry that broke bum!
Don't say that about him.
I know who I'm going to marry.
Even if you burned half of Podhale. Respect that, flipping hell!
Franek. We're leaving.
But…
My flesh and blood!
More like mine.
More like her mom's.
And my son is no broke bum,
but the best catch in Podhale!
You will see.
Madam Chairwoman.
I understand that the situation has changed, and you decided to sell.
-Every single thing! Yes! -And the sister feels the same way?
Whose sister?
-His. -He doesn't have a sister!
What do you mean?
Half of Mr. Jędrzej's land and the house on it belongs to her.
Not since she left.
-There's a sister? -No!
-She's in Chicago. -But she still owns the land.
No. She has no say in this.
-The documents don't say so. -But I do!
That's right! Wacuś can bear witness. The land and the house are mine.
On my honor, Madam Chairwoman, everything belongs to him.
Which land? Which house?
[Polish folk music playing]
Kaśka?
That woman is a financial big fish!
A whale, you could say!
A huge opportunity!
It would be a shame not to take advantage of her.
And the occasion.
Yes, it would be a shame.
I knew that we'd work it out like a brother and sister.
We won't.
-Keys. -I don't have them.
-They were always here. -Now they're not.
Kaśka, you said you would never come back.
But I did.
I'm glad you're happy. Excuse me.
-Ka-- Kaśka! -See?
You can't rinse the Goral out, even with Coca-Cola.
You have a week.
Either you sell me the entire valley,
or I won't buy anything.
Madam, who said that we wouldn't sell?
If need be, we'll throw in Krupówki.
-Great opportunity! -It's your family, yours!
Goddamn her.
[phone ringing]
Crap!
[phone continue ringing]
CONNECTING TO: BOB
[motorcycle revving]
[motorcycle skidding, crashing]
[horse neighs]
Watch where you're going!
Take it easy. After all, nothing happened.
Nothing?
And the suitcase?
A smashed suitcase is better than a smeared corpse on the road.
What is it with all of you walking into traffic?
You could've killed me.
But I didn't.
You're okay.
Oh-ho!
Injuries after an accident like that might become a problem after a while.
But we could check it.
Over coffee?
Hmm?
Could we?
[up-tempo string music playing]
Come on!
Couldn't we?
So be it.
[up-tempo music continues]
Relaxed and, as always, divinely beautiful.
Save it.
Your lines don't work on me.
Dumbass!
But your beloved dumbass.
How much this time?
Sis.
You offend me.
You're in trouble again.
More like a chance for a deal of a lifetime.
Another one?
This time it's completely different. I can make a lot of money.
But, as you say, and I learn from the best,
you need to give some to get some.
How much?
-Ten. -Thousand?
Million.
[laughs] Are you joking?
Trust me, Sis, this is far from a joke.
I don't have ten million.
I'm sure you'll figure something out.
I need collateral.
Your shares in the company. Transfer them to me.
You're joking?
This is far from a joke.
You will make money, pay back the loan, and get back your shares.
I don't want to rob you, I want to help you.
The papers. Sign them.
[mysterious music playing]
You'll get the money…
after you do something for me.
What?
I want to buy land here. Build a house.
One Goral girl is causing me problems. She needs to be tempered.
You want to buy land here? Build a house?
You hate the mountains.
People change.
[uplifting music playing]
[door slams]
[woman in distance] ♪ Hey, mountains and valleys ♪
♪ I would cover you with gold ♪
♪ Hey, if only you would grant ♪
-♪ Me back my younger years… ♪ -[sheep bleating]
[woman laughs]
-♪ I wish I could get back… ♪ -[sheep bells jangling]
-♪ That Kaśka of mine ♪ -[Kaśka squealing]
[both laughing]
[woman] You little hick!
The entire Podhale is buzzing that you're back
and already raising some hell!
And you haven't visited me yet! Oh, you little hick!
That's not nice, not nice!
[both laughing]
I'm so happy to see you!
There. There, enough! You'll slobber all over me!
Come on, let me take a look at you.
You've grown.
But you're so skinny!
Just as I thought!
[both squealing delightedly]
[panting] I've spent two days looking for everything you like.
How did you know?
One just knows these things, you little hick.
I've brought you zyntyca.
And something else
that you like and I'm sure they don't have in America.
There. Drink up, drink.
Mm!
-Your zyntyca is delicious. -[chuckles knowingly]
Of course.
Well?
[panting]
Haven't I told you? [chuckles]
She will leave quicker than she came.
Has she had enough already?
Yeah. Like shit, she does. Look.
I'm looking.
[horse neighing]
God, how I've missed that.
[sighs]
Gotta say, it's been a few years of longing.
But now you're here.
So, what are you planning now, you little hick?
I will start anew.
I'll set up an apiary.
From those two old beehives?
It's just a beginning.
A beginning of a huge digital apiary.
-A what? -A digital apiary.
You…
You want to stick microchips up those bees' behinds?
Into the hives.
I've worked with them in the US.
Sensors will record humidity, temperature, bees' condition,
sound, and swarm mobility.
They will send data to the cloud to analyze.
I'll be joined by the neighborhood,
then the Podhale, and I'll run the control center.
Somebody's watched too much American science fiction.
[chuckles]
And that
control center of yours-- "This is Houston…"
[laughing] Where will it be? In that old shed?
Yeah! I'll connect it to the Internet and set up electricity. It'll be great.
Huh. Well, maybe. Hey.
Here you go.
I'm giving you my steed.
Because you cannot build your Houston walking everywhere.
She's not letting go.
Flipping hell!
I knew
that the women in your family are nasty.
Women in my family are nasty?
Maybe in mine, huh?
Wait, wait.
Forgive me, I forgot.
Who did your girl run off with?
A cook? [laughing]
A waiter!
That's even worse!
At least she didn't run off to America like yours did.
Maybe she ran off to America.
But this is none of your business, so stay out of it.
You, you! You're jumping me, you bum?
When I kick you…
I'll turn you into oscypek!
[both hollering indistinctly]
[thunder rumbling]
[water dripping]
[thunderclap]
[windows rattling]
Where are you pitching that, moron?
Hey!
-It's you? -It's you?
What are you doing here?
Me? You're the one putting a tent up on my land!
This is private property!
Get on your bike and get out of here!
The bike broke!
I'll repair it in the morning and be gone.
And you intend to spend the night in that thing?
It saved my life more than once.
In Alaska, Greenland, the mountains of Pakistan.
Let me guess. An expedition to Nanga?
I am a master of survival!
-[thunder rumbling] -[hollering]
-No! -No!
All right! Come to my place.
The conditions are spartan,
but you can dry your things and call for help in the morning.
Thanks, but there's nothing better than a night under the stars. [laughs]
Especially for bears.
There are bears here?
Sixteen of them.
A small herd on the verge of extinction. Probably hungry after the winter.
Wait!
Hey!
[thunder rumbling]
[both groaning]
[slams door]
[both panting]
Oh-ho-ho. [chuckles]
What a hovel.
I mean, the style is a bit rustic.
Get me in touch with your designer.
I hope some jealous Goral won't chase me out of here with an axe.
Get undressed.
[laughs nervously]
What, straightaway?
[laughs] That's why we're here.
Why not.
You need to get warm.
-I know the best method for that. -Mm. Me too.
[gasps]
[sighs]
Anything stopping you?
[chuckling] Maybe that sudden influx of female libido.
Get undressed.
How about we talk first?
No.
Okay.
We can skip foreplay.
Huh!
No problem for me.
I'm in. [exhales]
Well, I might not be in my best shape,
but down there, everything is in peak condition.
Take everything off.
-A Goral temperament. Good. -[belt jangling]
I like that.
[grunting]
If you need me, I am… ready.
Put that on.
You like dressing-up.
[laughs]
Would you like me to be your… Janosik?
All right, you shall have your… Janosik.
Yeehaw!
[snickers]
Hey!
Well?
-Did you call? -Who?
For whom.
-Someone to take you and your junk away. -First of all, it's not junk.
Second of all, I don't have too many options.
And third of all, my phone died.
Has it been with you to the mountains of Pakistan?
Exactly. A few expeditions together.
I've called a rescue helicopter with it three times.
-[laughing] -For the Englishmen. They were unprepared.
[sighs] No signal.
Okay, I'll repair my motorcycle in the morning
and move along.
[sighs]
You're not afraid of living here alone?
What's to be afraid of?
That one night I'll be bothered by some self-styled alpinist from Warsaw?
Plus, I don't remember telling you that I live alone.
Well, well.
And I thought there were no such women anymore.
Beautiful.
Independent.
That are not afraid of bears. [chuckles]
Probably make delicious liqueurs.
Quince liqueur?
-Angelica. -[grunts[
Goral one. Grandmother's recipe. Perfect for warming up your feet.
[spits]
This is the bottle my grandma was using before she died.
Why didn't you tell me?
-Have you got activated charcoal? -Relax.
You're not the first one to get allured by it.
-There were others? -Mm-hmm.
They survived?
Mostly.
Although, no. Two of them went blind.
But only for a month.
[both chuckle]
There is a shed in the back.
We need wood for the fireplace.
[whimpers]
-[man 1] Wait. Do you have it? -[man 2] Hold it!
-[man 1] Hold! Crap, it's heavy. -[man 2] Together!
-Where are you going? -Wait!
Flipping hell! Not that way!
[man 2] Go there! Where are you going?
-[man 1] Here. -[man 2] You moron, wait up.
The wind!
Where are you going?
[man 2] Hold it up.
What are you doing?
Hey!
What? You're trying to steal the kennels?
What kennels?
-These are beehives, you asswipe! -You know him?
-Get out of here! -He's got an axe! Get the fuck out!
[man shouting in distance]
Are you crazy?
What are you doing?
-It wasn't me! -So who was it?
-The spirit of the mountain? -Lady. I was protecting your property.
-I was fighting in a tornado and a storm! -Your stuff is dry.
Get out of here!
[thunder rumbling]
Get out, go!
Get away!
[animal grunting]
HEALTH CENTER
[groans]
[grunting softly]
[groaning]
He drove out from around the corner like a moron.
Uh-huh.
Well, to me it looks like horns of a goat.
A buffalo!
On my hood. You know what it's like with semis.
I had a similar duel on the road during my trip to Alaska.
-[whispers] Alaska? -And Canada.
[sighing heavily] Hmm.
[blowing]
[gasps] Oh no. What is that?
What is that?
-What? -This. An allergic reaction.
In this spot! It could be dangerous.
I would recommend 24-hour observation.
I'm finishing soon, so we can…
I can't. [chuckles]
I'm climbing Mnich tomorrow.
Gotta check my equipment.
-Then maybe-- -Thank you.
Then maybe we could actually do it together.
-Thank you! -[door opens]
What a hunk!
[ominous music playing]
Oh.
Good evening. I was about to close up but come in.
[keys jangle]
I'm telling you.
We need to find her a man.
So he can leave her like her American Rob.
Bob.
Bob, Rob, whatever.
The point is, when he gets under her skin, she'll get sick of Podhale,
she won't be able to look at this beautiful land, and she'll leave again.
Beautiful. But it looks like she's already found someone.
And he chased us away, not her.
Because he wasn't our folk! An outsider.
Gotta be a Slovak.
What Slovak?
What do you mean? From Slovakia.
I'm telling you.
We need to get her one of ours.
He will get rid of the Slovak,
woo her, and then leave her.
-Brilliant plan. -Mm.
But where do we find a kamikaze like that?
For money,
even Brad Pitt will come to us.
[both chuckle]
[dishes clanking]
[men chattering]
Chief.
Give us a coffee.
-What? Tough morning? -Ah.
Morning, day, night. It's not easy.
Next to this place, hell is a holiday in Ciechocinek.
At least the view is better.
[sighs] Maybe, but the mountains stand in the way.
I'm telling you, get out of here.
And that comes from someone… who smelled more than one Goral shit.
Chief.
What do you say? Another round?
I'll tell you right away, this…
this is not an easy case.
What are you saying?
Very… easy.
I'll put it bluntly. Nobody tells me how to do my thing.
Or looks over my shoulder.
What I do is my business.
So that means you agree?
No.
What do you mean? But you just… Why not?
Because.
-It's my sister. Kaśka. Yeah-- -Jędruś' sister. Kaśka from America.
-Kaśka? -Yeah.
It's about Kaśka?
I hit on her thrice in high school.
I almost needed an ambulance twice.
And the third time…
[pouring drink]
[whispers] You don't wanna know.
Only liars and con men.
There is this woman living here, Maryla. Says she rents out rooms for a living.
But she hasn't had a tourist for a year. What?
You think I don't know why?
I don't know what she's doing?
Illegal liquor with no certificate.
And I could help with regulations. And? And nothing!
But the worst…
The worst…
is the Goral disco polo.
People come for New Year's Eve.
They keep shouting, "Zakopane! Here we go!" Then fucking go!
But that will end, you know? They will come to me and what?
"Włodek, help us, do something."
And those two… Who are they?
[men shouting]
Ah. These two geniuses.
They want a man to tame that mustached one's sister
'cause she's blocking a sale of the land.
[mysterious music playing]
Kaśka is not an ordinary girl, you understand? No ordinary girl.
I heard you want a specialist?
Flipping hell!
-The Slovak! -The Slovak!
Slovak?
I understand. you fellas are not interested.
Hold up, wait! [chuckling]
Who said we're not?
Sit down.
So, you're… a tourist.
Here by accident, huh?
A nomad, you could say.
And Kaśka just let you into her house like that?
She has a soft spot for me.
Bullshit! The last thing she would have is a soft spot for someone.
He's lying like his pants are on fire. He's a plant.
Our kamikaze!
-So be it. -Are you taking the job or not?
That depends.
How much?
How much time? A week.
Not time. How much money?
A special offer for you, on the house.
But we do it my way.
Nobody can find out that we're connected, and you tell me everything.
No bullshit.
Not on your life.
Hold on.
You will learn as much as you need.
A Goral would never confess to a townie.
These are our conditions.
[power tools whirring, grinding]
[men shouting in distance]
-[man] Go on! -[saw buzzing]
-Good morning. -Morning! Go on!
There, stop.
-I need wood for roof shingles. -No, we don't have wood.
-How come? -We don't have it.
-There's a whole pile lying around. -It's sold, lady.
Can you recommend a team to repair a roof?
A team… No, no.
All teams are fully booked until January next year.
-My brother was here? -You have a brother?
What brother?
You know that very well!
[chuckling]
[vehicle starts]
[Kaśka] It's the future of beekeeping.
I worked on such a solution in the US.
These are some American contraptions.
They're ours! The Poles invented those in Silicon Valley.
Those smart beehives could really save bees from extinction--
Listen.
There has not yet been a woman born
who could tell me how to run my apiary.
Make your own.
And I will. Don't be surprised. I'm taking those hives. All of them!
They've already been sold.
I see.
[hives buzzing]
[men shouting indistinctly]
What? Are you kidding me?
Find a hundred more.
You rip off your own people?
Booking costs.
Got a hundred?
Huh?
-Got a hundred? -[horse neighing]
What?
Whatever. Here you go.
Thanks.
I swear if I find you here again,
I will get a gun permit.
Podhale is not the Wild West where you can shoot first,
and ask questions later.
You'd be surprised.
Where'd you get those?
Do you like them?
No.
Poor quality. Bad wood.
Hmm. So, you do like them.
These are a peace offering.
To replace the ones you lost.
So, it was your doing!
I didn't say that.
What are you doing?
Get down!
Easy. I used to do carpentry.
I built a bridge in Albania over a wild river.
I have a professional coming this week.
A few swings of a hammer, a couple of nails, and it's done.
And I can't allow it to rain on your pretty little head for the next week.
[chuckles]
The weather's supposed to be nice!
Get off!
What?
Are you all right?
It depends on whether you give me mouth-to-mouth.
-You're all right. Up! -[screams] I can't breathe!
What is it?
[grunts] Oh! Jesus!
[panting]
I'm getting… blurred vision.
-[groans] -Don't move. It might be your spine.
I'll call an ambulance.
No! I have trauma after an accident.
-I'm afraid of ambulances. -What?
[whimpers]
All right. I'm not insured.
You want to pay? Fine.
It's your roof, ladder, and employee.
I would think twice if I were you.
[groans]
Yeah. I will just lay here for a bit.
I'll be fine in a moment.
Although it would be more comfortable in the house, but…
That's right, breathe in… breathe out. Breathe in…
Come on. Slowly.
[groaning]
Ow! [grunting]
[Kaśka grunts]
[panting]
Slowly.
Oh! Oh! Oh!
Oh! Ow! [grunts]
[huffing]
-There. -Uh-huh.
Can you lie down on your own?
I'd rather…
-[loud thud] -Ow! All right, I was just kidding.
[coughs, grunts]
But really… a normal sofa would do.
[grunting] Jesus.
Oh! [continues grunting]
All right. I'll bring a pillow.
Yes, yes.
You'll beg me to stay here.
[panting]
[continues panting]
[chuckles softly]
You'll beg me
to call that ambulance.
[knocking]
[Tibetan throat singers chanting]
Hello!
I think I need help after all.
Hello!
I'm back.
I was thinking about…
what would do you good.
Oh yeah?
[giggles softly]
Well, actually…
who would.
I've got a couple of ideas.
Me too.
[door opens]
[stammers] I'm here.
[exhales] Is that him?
Well. Strip down.
To your pants. And get on the table.
[jangling]
-[screaming, crying] -We'll take viper's venom!
-Horse manure! -[jangling continues]
[cries out, continues screaming]
An old…
Let's change equipment.
-And release! -[continues screaming, crying]
There! Yes, yes, yes!
And more, more!
And go on! Go on!
Where are you going? I haven't finished yet!
Get back on the table!
[laughing nervously] Thank you so much. There's no need.
I'm better already.
The pain is gone.
[both laughing]
Thank you!
You're welcome!
I haven't had so much fun in a while.
Handsome fella.
He pitched his tent in front of your house?
That's right. An alpinist from Warsaw.
Now he definitely won't be back.
-[giggles] -Hmm?
All right. Let's pack it up.
-[both continue laughing] -[tool jangles]
Yes, Mr. Chairman, we are ready to start production.
We just need--
The new credit line agreement is on my desk.
Fantastic. When can you release the funds?
As soon as you sign the land sale contract, Ms. Agata.
-It's a matter of days. -Good.
All right, I'm waiting. Goodbye.
-Goodbye. -[computer chimes]
[line ringing]
Patryk?
How's our business?
[mysterious music playing]
Excuse me?
I'm giving you three days.
I want that land in three days.
[river running]
[groaning]
[dynamic music building]
Damn you.
Easy.
Take it easy, pet. Yeah.
[animal grunting]
-[gasping] -Let me guess. A night in the woods?
Nothing worth talking about.
It's normal for a man.
Oh yeah?
Even such a delicate one?
[winces]
More like tough like beef jerky.
Did I mention my doctorate was in allergies? I could…
Gladly. But some other time.
Yeah? When?
-But… Well… -Goodbye!
[door opens]
Is there a back door here?
Back door? I don't know.
What? Through the window?
But… Well…
I mean…
-He thinks he's Zorro. -[engine stars]
He whets your appetite and then you're on your own, lady.
Oh. Good morning.
Come in.
Don't be shy, I can see you're here for the second time.
Come in. There. Come on, come on.
Yes.
And sit down.
Well. How can I help?
[carnival music playing]
Well… Couldn't we have met in a bit less messed-up place?
Okay, okay.
How are things?
Like we discussed.
Ah, so something happened. Some hanky-panky?
How was it?
My sister? I'll get you…
-Suddenly you think of her? -Gentlemen.
It happened…
almost.
But there were some complications.
-I knew it. She kicked him out again. -An expert from Warsaw, and look.
-Can't get a woman into bed. -Nothing works on her.
She's different.
Different… than others.
-Sure, my flesh and blood. -What about our business, you dumbass?
So, you said that she'll be where tomorrow?
At Maryla's. They all… meet there.
Where is the city office here?
-There. -There.
What do you mean? There!
[riders laughing in distance]
[sighs]
You could finally legalize your distillery.
What distillery?
It's not a distillery.
Just a production of traditional angelica liqueur for private use.
Well. Let's have a drink. Here.
Maybe I'm supposed to pay taxes on it?
Why? Did Brussels give me the recipe?
It's my liqueur, and it's nobody's business. Cheers!
-Let's drink! -[squeals] Kaśka!
Jagódka! Oh!
You've grown so much!
I'm here.
-Yeah. -Sorry.
Sixteen stops to pee.
The bladder will return to normal. The rest might be worse.
Maryla said you might need a good IT person.
I've been studying in Kraków for three years. I think I'd do…
I'll write you such code for those beehives
that daughters of Babylon would blush, but only
if you tell me all about your night raider--
[shushes]
About whom?
-What? -The handsome biker.
Come on. He's not that handsome, there's nothing to talk about.
He's not ugly either.
[slams bottle down]
How do you know?
He visited me.
Mr. I-was-on-top-of-the-world-jumped-off
then-swam-with-the-dolphins-in-Costa Rica.
-That one? -That one.
No two ways about it.
Kaśka kicked him out of her house.
You're still on this?
I don't want anything to do with men.
I understand.
I've been there.
Until I managed to score the last alpha male on this planet.
-I want to hear about him. -Hey, hey, hey.
What? A pregnant woman deserves spicy details.
I won't share an endangered species.
[knocking at door]
[all] What does he want here?
-God bless. -God bless.
Good morning.
Morning.
-Won't you invite us? -No.
Shouldn't you properly welcome a guest?
Watch out, or I'll tell you what you should do.
Unless you are doing something illegal.
-Illegal? This here is a… -Prenatal class.
Yes.
-We are practicing contractions. -Yes. With the doctor's help.
Hello. How's your health?
Right. This man is looking for a room, Ms. Maryla,
and you make a living renting out rooms,
so I decided to bring in a client, and inspect the rooms as a city official.
-Stop. Not one step forward. -[panting]
Look for accommodation elsewhere.
But we already did.
Nothing else is free.
My place is free.
I have a spare room.
Yeah.
Your offer surprised me.
I'm telling you. It won't be cheap.
I get it. The old Goral method, con the townie.
At most, I can chop some wood for you.
And just so you know.
I won't sleep with you.
All right.
So, what time is breakfast?
Hey, pretty lady!
That's why I need that grant.
Yes, I know I said the entire Podhale.
It was gonna be a co-op, a few apiaries, but so far it's just mine.
Another form?
Lower funds? Man!
If I didn't need that money, I wouldn't have contacted you!
Hello! Hello!
-Great. -[phone clatters]
Thanks. You didn't have to.
And if you ever need a negotiator,
people love me.
Because you never say what you think?
Mm.
-You'll breed drones here? -Drones aren't bred.
They just turn up.
[Patryk] And I heard it's the best gig.
You relax, the worker bees feed you honey, and then you impregnate them.
And when you're done,
they bite,
pull out your wings, and kick you out of the hive.
There's wood to be chopped at the back.
[sighs]
[panting]
[chuckles]
[car door closes, engine starts]
-[wolf whistles] -[upbeat music playing]
-[man 1] Let's go, boys. -[man 2] Time is short.
Come on!
-Go on, Jędruś! -Go on!
Jędruś! You go there, I go here.
Out of the way.
Go away, dumbass, or I'll chop you up.
Move away.
What? Haven't you seen an axe in Warsaw?
Boys, chop those stumps and stack them.
That's it. Watch your fingers.
[emergency brake clicks]
[door alert dinging]
[sighs]
You should've said it's a one-hour job.
I fixed the fence in the back.
-I have a fence there? -Now you do.
A faucet? Great!
Plumbing is my middle name.
Hop!
[door opens]
[door closes]
[hammering on sink]
[exhales]
Don't you want a break?
Once I start something,
I need to finish it.
That's how I am.
[exaggerated pounding]
WACUŚ
THE TARGET HAS LEFT THE AREA
[text alert beeps]
[mellow music playing]
[mellow music continues]
[fire crackling]
Hmm.
[water gently splashing]
[power drill whirring]
[door opens]
Fancy taking a trip?
I sense a ruse.
-So, no, that's fine. -Hey!
Actually, I could… find a moment.
[chuckles] Great.
Wait up! Hey!
[upbeat string music playing]
Hey, alpinist!
Maybe next time hire some Sherpas to help you out?
When you go so fast, you miss out on the best views.
I've missed this view.
It's beautiful.
Whoo!
[inhales, exhales]
Come on, we're close.
[upbeat string music builds]
[music fades out]
[bees buzzing]
Put it here.
Are you afraid of bees?
No, just… I don't want to scare them.
Put on the hat.
Why?
We're going to catch them.
All of them at once or one by one?
[sighs]
They'll fly around, so try not to move.
I'm not gonna.
You'll be fine, just don't stress them out.
Okay.
[buzzing grows louder]3
[both scream]
[groaning]
Apparently, eight out of ten women believe that the first kiss tells the truth about
the future relationship.
Did a Tibetan monk tell you that?
They usually don't talk.
Maybe follow their example.
-Or look for those eight women. -[grunts]
[twig snaps]
Mm.
Very well.
Just kill me.
[animal grunting]
[playful music]
First, you send the city office my way, and now you ask for my help? Huh?
Is that nice?
-Let me remind you, I got hit first. -You're lucky, man.
That we never turn away a person in need around here.
Ow! Ow! Ow!
Speaking of being in need, does…
-Does Kaśka… -No way.
-But I… -Don't push it!
But I'm not her enemy. I'm trying to help her, fix things.
And you think that's enough?
Asbestos trousers, poison, whipping.
I put up… I put up with all of that. Would I have if I didn't care?
Mm!
I've never tried this hard with any other woman before.
Because never before have you met a woman like that.
Kaśka is unique and special.
And a special woman…
-requires special effort. -Ow!
Don't just fool around. Enough.
So, what do I do?
Are you asking me?
You need to figure it out on your own.
End of consultation.
Go on, now, go.
-This is not a good idea. -There's no time for training.
I'll improvise.
ANNUAL LUMBERJACK CONTEST
Will he manage?
Fuck no.
[upbeat fiddle music playing]
Dears! Welcome all the competitors.
This is a celebration of Tatra lumberjacks.
Welcome our competitors.
Where's Janka?
Janka? [laughs]
Ever since she's been seeing that mysterious alpha male…
[crowd cheering]
…she hasn't been heard from. I'll take the candles later.
I'm worrying about her.
About her? Give it a rest.
She'll manage just fine. [chuckles]
If there's anyone you should worry about, it's that alpha male.
[laughing]
[male announcer] This is a combined cutting competition.
He's gone mad.
He's gone completely mad.
[crowd cheering, applauding]
Are you crazy?
Ah! So, you worry about me?
I'm not worried, I'm trying to keep you from doing the dumbest thing ever.
Because you care about me? Just a bit or a lot?
-This is not a competition for you. -Ah. It's been made for me.
They've been chopping wood since forever!
And will you go out with me if I win?
Don't you understand? You won't win!
-You have no chance. -Then why not agree?
-[male announcer] And now Patryk Nawrot. -[Patryk] Whoo!
He doesn't look like a lumberjack,
but he's got a Goral hat, so a round of applause!
Everyone, start your chainsaws,
so our women see you've got wood!
[chain saws buzzing]
A hundred, 200, 300, 400, 500.
Could have been more.
That's how much there is.
A hundred, 200, 300, 400, 500. God bless.
A hundred, 200, 300, 400, 500.
Guys, like we talked about.
This win won't be honorable, but it will be lucrative.
Here you go.
A hundred, 200, 300, 400, 500.
One, two, three… Got a hundred?
-I do. -Then give it.
Here you go.
We had a deal.
We did. But now we don't.
But why not?
Because.
Flipping hell.
[chain saws buzzing]
[announcer] This, my dears, is a competition…
[crowd cheering, shouting]
[announcer] Yes! Applause!
[all cheering]
I knew it. Should have given him more.
You'd sooner buy Giewont.
[crowd continues cheering and shouting]
[announcer] There it is! Applause!
[crowd cheering]
Wait up! I've got it. We don't need money…
we need a ruse. I've got it.
Come.
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
[announcer] Well done to Patryk!
Well, he's doing fine.
Somehow.
My dears! Start!
-[crowd cheering] -[contestants grunting]
Go, go, go!
[crowd screaming]
[announcer] What a crash! Jesus Christ! It's over.
My car!
[Patryk] Kasia!
Kaśka!
So? Are we seeing each other at 7:00 p.m.? At dinner?
I can be there at 7:30.
-[car starts] -If you'd like.
Have you lost your mind completely?
That's not what you meant? To impress her?
You stupid man, consider what you're doing!
Think twice.
If you're just playing, you'd better stop.
Feelings are not toys.
Definitely not around here.
Kaśka.
Let's talk.
Please.
[knocking]
Kaśka?
[Kaśka] There's nothing to talk about.
At least give me five minutes. Please.
It was stupid.
It almost ended in tragedy.
Let's talk.
You'll come out eventually.
-Will you sit here for long? -If need be, until morning.
Good luck then.
If you need me, I'll be right here.
[phone vibrates]
[in English] Hello?
Yes, it's me.
The bee has been delivered?
For two days now?
What happened?
The bee I ordered from Belgium is at the post office an hour away!
The queen you ordered for the apiary was sent by mail?
Yes. If I don't pick her up today, she'll die.
By bike, we'll be there in 15 minutes. Come on.
Get on.
[Patryk] Oh fuck.
Well done.
It was a great idea to throw away your keys.
-I've got it! -Come.
[uplifting music playing]
POST OFFICE
Too late.
Delivery number.
Okay, wait.
I'll take care of it.
Trust me.
Ma'am!
What do you need?
A package.
All right.
And?
You got it!
They're alive.
Whoa-ho-ho-ho!
Thanks.
I told you that people love me.
Okay… vroom, vroom?
There was to be only one queen.
There is. The little ones are her companions.
They take care of her. Feed her with their milk.
[chuckles] Look how agitated they are.
They can smell you.
They smell a drone.
[both laugh]
The legs are fine, the wings as well.
Was it always this way? You knew what you wanted?
Not always.
But now I know this is my place on Earth.
Everyone has one.
Not everyone.
Maybe you haven't found yours?
I have to tell you something.
Wait, I have to.
Can you stop talking so much?
[romantic music playing]
Patryk?
[door opens]
[door closes]
We need to talk.
[phone vibrating]
SISTER
NAWROT PATRYK
-Sister? -Hold my hands!
-The chairwoman is your sister? -You asshole, you wanted to rob us!
Me?
-You wanted to rob Kaśka. -Us?
You bum!
Us? It was you and your sis from the very beginning!
-She was the one that sent you to us! -Hold him!
-Flipping hell, you've got shit! -[all grunting]
Here! You go there, I go here!
Go.
[both grunting]
I've got him!
-Didn't I tell you he was a plant? -You told me? I told you!
-You? I did! -You? I told you!
I told you!
Gentlemen!
You can talk it out later.
-You lowlife scum! -You bastard!
[all shouting]
-Hold him! -I'm holding him!
CHILDREN TAKE OVER NAWROT DESIGN
[phone vibrating]
PATRYK AND AGATA NAWROT AT THE HELM
[phone continues vibrating]
[sighs] I'm such an idiot.
Grab that bastard!
Apologize to Kaśka and confess to everything!
[grunts]
You confess, you're no better!
[grunting]
Let me tell you, you moron, Mother Mary won't recognize you.
But that was your idea.
Ours? You wanted to get into Kaśka's bed.
And you wanted to get money from us.
Gentlemen.
How much?
Well?
How much?
How much am I worth?
How much is a night with me worth on your price list?
Kasia, I can--
Let me guess. Explain?
You were right.
I shouldn't have come back.
This will never be my home.
Kaśka! Kaśka, wait.
You destroyed my dream. Mission accomplished, you can be proud.
-Believe me, I'm not-- -I will not believe a word you say.
The land is yours.
[crying].
And?
Flipping hell.
You turned half of Podhale against one another. Happy?
I did?
Maybe I did?
The whole business is fucked!
And the treasure?
-What treasure? -The one buried in the land.
Whose land?
[muttering indistinctly]
This is kidnapping and a crime!
What kidnapping?
Just a normal event, no?
Tell us! Everything you know!
I won't tell you shit! [muttering]
Flipping hell, what are you all doing?
Nothing.
You call that nothing? Quiet!
Into the inn. All of you.
Talk like you're at a confessional, one by one, now.
[continues muttering]
-What wood? -Speak!
Like I've said. Bogwood.
Black like ebony or coal.
And it's in our land?
No fucking way? That coal?
Not coal, it's bogwood.
All over the valley, most of it in Kaśka's part.
And it's worth more than diamonds.
Bogwood furniture is worth a fortune.
Flipping hell!
Does Kaśka know?
[panting]
[sobbing]
She has to stay.
Yeah, has to. Has to!
But I can't convince her.
And I'm not going to clean up your mess.
We're low on iodine in the mountains, so their brains are small.
[sniffles]
But you? Being so greedy for her money?
Some thugs were after me.
I owed them money. I don't know what for.
One of them found me here.
Chased me around the doctor's office.
And you, poor thing, don't know why?
Agata…
She tricked us all.
I won't sell her anything, no fucking way!
Me neither. Not an inch of this land!
You will sell.
You will sell everything.
[Patryk chuckles]
[screams] No way!
[growling] My darling!
Ooh!
There you are! [kissing]
Do you really have to go home?
I know your work trip is ending, but maybe you could stay?
I can't. But I'll be back.
[door opens]
That's him!
It's that thug.
Sławeczek… What thug is that man talking about?
About him… that slab, that bear.
Hired… by his cunning sister.
Sławeczek!
What sister are they talking about?
I can explain everything.
I don't give a shit about your explanations.
You will do as I say. Ha!5
[mysterious music playing]
How's it going?
According to plan.
Are you sure?
Okay.
I will call you if you're needed.
Okay.
[door opens]
[door closes]
Everything is ready, ma'am. We just need the signatures.
Welcome.
Your sister won't interrupt us again?
What sister, Madam Chairwoman? What… sister?
Let's go into the VIP room.
Go!
On your right, Madam Chairwoman.
[Patryk] Whoo!
I've heard you did well.
Reliable as always.
Is that for me?
Straight away?
How about a toast with your sister first?
It's what you like.
Yes. You know very well what I like most.
But you know what?
You're right. Let's celebrate.
After all, you've made quite a nice deal.
May yours be just as successful.
Don't you worry about that.
About your shares…
You know what, let's talk about that later.
-Finally! I'll miss my flight. -I'll put it bluntly.
I will not be taking any bees.
-How come? -Just like that.
But about those digital beehives, I'm in. The others as well.
What others?
All of them. After all, do we want this honey Silicon Valley here or not?
Hold on. Come on, guys!
Kaśka!
Tell me, where do you want that control center of yours?
What control center?
Guys, bring the boxes here, and the wood there!
That Houston with bees?
But can you tell me what's going on here?
What do you think? [laughing]
The men listened to reason,
and came to help you out. Huh?
[laughs] But I'm going away.
Eh, no way.
Yeah.
Beautiful, pile it like that.
-You're behind it? -Me?
No way.
Do you think any of them would listen to a woman? Never.
Maybe it's someone else, huh?
Someone who cared very much.
And did his best so you would stay
and have your dream.
Ah?
Enough talking.
It's time to make a whole lot of food
because when they're hungry, they might mess it up.
But where did you get the money for all that?
From the EU.
The EU, you little hick. The EU! [laughing]
Well, Sis.
Time to have a serious talk.
Will they agree?
Oh…
Doesn't look like they're going to kill each other. Yeah.
They're family.
And family
is family. Yes.
Guys! Get the wood.
[Agata] Here we are.
What's that, Ms. Agata? Have you bought a ski jump?
[chuckles]
Oh. Mister Chairman.
Hello.
-What a coincidence to meet you here. -Hello.
Is that your new venture?
Beautiful. Congratulations.
-What are you doing here? -Told you. A deal of a lifetime.
Welcome to Zakopane!
Who are these gentlemen?
[Patryk] These gentlemen? They are
the owners of the largest deposit of bogwood in Central Europe.
And the chairmen of our company.
What company, you little shit!
You destroyed our firm!
Ours? You mean yours.
My company is called Bee and Bogwood.
Podhale-Dubai-Beijing Company.
General, International.
Well. Okay, we have to go,
we're late to a meeting with a client from the Gulf.
With a double name we both know.
It won't work out. Work? Firm? You cannot handle that!
People change. Sis. [kisses]
[motorcycle starts]
Mr. Chairman, welcome!
Welcome to our retreat!
Come, come, let's talk business.
-Hop on. -Welcome.
Chairman Wacuś. And this is Chairman…
-Jędruś. -Hello.
-[horse whinnies] -Go, Jędruś.
[upbeat fiddle music playing]
[bell jangling]
[crowd cheering, applauding]
-Let's go, let's go. -We're coming.
Get on.
[laughs] They are so beautiful!
[man] The band! Get on, get on!
What's important is they're happy.
Hey, little hick.
You will be happy, too. You will!
[Wacuś ] Band on the wagon!
♪ They're going there… ♪
Let's go, guys!
And we walk.
♪ Hey, for the wedding she took ♪
♪ Her silk shawl… ♪
[Maryla ] Kiss the bride!
♪ Hey, she wiped her eyes ♪
[upbeat fiddle music playing]
Quiet!
[clinking glasses]
[Wacuś] I will talk now.
We are glad that all of you turned up
to celebrate me and my children's big day.
Happiness and joy. From the bottom of my heart.
Yours.
Yeah, mine.
My daughter Jagódka.
And since today… my son.
The son I dreamed of.
Hold on, hold on. You dreamed of my Franuś?
-Yes, I did. -I don't believe it. You…
You dreamed of him?
Right now, I dreamed of him now.
I was for this wedding first!
If it wasn't for me, it wouldn't have happened!
-It wouldn't? -No!
[both shouting]
Music! Play!
-[upbeat fiddle music playing] -[both continue shouting]
I'm telling you, Maryla,
you, me, and your angelica liqueur…
We'll sell it all over Europe.
Ha! All over the world.
And the certificates?
-The regulations, the EU, what about that? -What regulations, my queen?
I am the regulations.
[both laughing]
I am your EU, Brussels,
your excise band.
They will fly in from America for our Goral gold!
Come on, you silly man.
The bottle is empty, let me get another.
-To celebrate our empire! -[chuckling]
Hey, little hick.
Why are you sitting alone?
You are a bridesmaid. Huh?
I want to see you on the dance floor.
Yeah.
To the young couple!
Having fun?
[in Goral accent] Do you know anything about accommodations around here?
Hey.
Now?
Everything's booked up.
I don't know, maybe a private house?
I could settle for a rustic hovel.
[fork clatters]
Are you just passing? Or here for a longer stay?
Well, I'm looking for my place on Earth.
And? Still nothing?
I think that maybe something…
Okay. Everyone says so, then runs away.
Wussies.
Not sure, maybe I'd have something?
But it won't be cheap.
You need to earn your keep.
Are you good at anything?
Used to be. At taming shrews.
Up to a point.
Until I failed with one of them.
[both giggling]
You've met your match, huh?
She's been a real shrew.
[dramatic music playing] ♪ I guess I've seen it all ♪
♪ I partied really hard in America… ♪
[all hooting, shouting]
♪ Tropical paradise, they said This is the life, not some replica ♪
[cheering, hooting]
♪ Those were wonderful times Best time of our lives ♪
♪ Remember darling? ♪
♪ Yet only here in Poland We've found that feeling ♪
♪ Love, oh love in Zakopane ♪
[singing along] ♪ Bubbly pours over our bodies ♪
♪ I am the knight And you are the queen of our evening ♪
♪ In your eyes the love is glowing ♪
♪ Like a motorbike, it's speeding… ♪
Look. Look, Wacuś, what a… lovely couple.
I'm just… just a while ago Franuś was like this!
[voice breaking] This small!
And Jagódka?
That little nose.
[chuckles]
-Pour one. -Drink, grandpa.
[both laugh]
Who's a grandpa, Grandpa?
[dramatic music continues in background]
I can tell you this much,
you are screwed.
What's important is to stay tough.
And soft.
At the same time.
Rough, but sensitive.
And don't let her be jealous.
Because see, when a guy is jealous,
then he's sort of… comely.
-Comely? -Yeah. Hunky.
Oh! Hunky.
Yeah. Drink up.
But a woman… when she's jealous, man!
World War III guaranteed!
-That's true. -Yeah.
Man, where have you been? Dakar together, and then no contact.
[laughing]
Adaś! Well!
I'm so sorry!
You know each other? This is Adaś, my dear friend.
The famous rally driver.