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The little one is going crazy.
Marie's having her baby!
I know, man. That is so cool.
No! Now!
Hey, I'll sort this out, okay? I'll get you out of here.
But The Strokes are about to play.
Maybe you should call my sister instead.
Sarah? No, absolutely not.
I'll sort this out. I'll get you out of here.
I'm going to be a father!
Hey, we need a doctor. We need a doctor.
Are you a doctor?
Her water broke. Three weeks early.
Can you help us?
Honey, breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
So? Can you see anything?
Please quit headbanging?
Yeah, yeah, stop banging. Stop banging.
I don't want to give birth at a festival.
-Me neither. -Me neither.
Jesus was born in a stable, right? Nothing wrong with that.
Call my sister. Now.
You're as beautiful as your mom.
Shit, that's awesome.
Great. Cursing in front of Ben?
You have a key?
Come on, say hello to your cousin.
Marie is sleeping.
Hello.
-Come to Aunt Sarah. -Sarah.
Come to me.
Yes, you look just like your mom, you lucky guy.
Little baby...
Mom, that's enough.
So, what's life like at 15?
I was at a party until 9:30.
Then Mom came.
You can never be too careful.
Yes, you can.
Who goes to a festival with a pregnant girlfriend?
We had tickets for nine months. Marie also wanted to go.
From the gas station?
Yes, that's fine.
Noah?
Can we talk in the kitchen?
No, thanks.
Sarah. Sarah.
What...
-What are you doing? -Krav Maga.
Cool.
Now listen to me very carefully.
Your old life, over.
And your new one is all about my sister and that baby. Is that clear?
Yes. Clear.
Yes.
No, you don't understand.
Every day,
the world out there will seek Ben's innocent little soul
-and try to break it. -Okay.
Always and again.
You have to protect him
-and not make it worse. -Okay, okay, okay.
I know that look, Noah.
I've seen it twice before. Two kids, two marriages.
I know how that ends.
Nothing scares guys like you more than being a dad.
Now it's time to get balls, Noah. Balls!
Balls. Yes, big balls.
Balls.
I don't know if they'll be as big as yours, but...
Not funny.
I had to let this out. A hug?
For the new dad?
I'll pass.
-Come here. -Nah.
-Great. -Hello.
Sweetie.
-Glad you're here. -He is perfect.
You made a perfect baby.
You mean "we."
For a beautiful picture, I praise the painter and not the brush.
FOUR MONTHS LATER
Day or night, I'll pick you up
I'll go through red lights in the city I'll pick you up
It doesn't matter where you are I'll pick you up
It takes a call I'll be there and pick you up
Guys...
Somehow it still doesn't bang.
Do you have any ideas on how we can beef it up?
Tibo, maybe we should change some lyrics.
Honestly, I don't think it's about the lyrics.
-It's the beat. -We could...
No, no, no. Not you with your autotune again. Come on.
How many BPM are you at?
-One hundred twenty-eight. -Noah...
Just curious.
Sorry...
My junior assistant, Noah, was chatting.
That's cool. Let him speak.
Maybe he has a great idea?
Okay, then talk.
Yes, come up front.
Yes.
-Hi. -Hey.
I don't know. 128 BPM is perfect for
Beat's a bit electronic.
Snare on two, the four comes, pushes the song forward.
Instead of...
Just go right in.
It doesn't matter what you say I'll pick you up
If it is red Drive through the city...
Okay, thanks. Enough.
That's it?
Yes.
Good, then go and get pizza for everyone.
Yes.
Hey, everyone starts by getting pizza. So...
I tell you, dude, if they simply did what I say.
-So you could hear it. -Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-And how are things at home? -It's a state of emergency.
Marie is going back to work soon.
Wow. Already? Why?
This is what we agreed to. In the first year, each takes over half.
And? Does this work?
Yes, her half was fine.
Now it's my turn.
I change his nappy, I feed him.
I warm up the bottles.
Yes, we spend quality time together.
Like father and son.
But, you know, Baumi, some things really don't work at all.
I mean, he has never fallen asleep in my arms.
Cultivate that further. Best tactic, screw up until others say, "Leave it."
No. Baumi, he's my son. I want this to work.
As soon as you're a father, you forget your best life strategies?
Just kidding, hey. Get your baby.
-Yes, I will. -Yes.
-No other choice. -Yeah.
-Marie has a trade fair this weekend. -Shit.
-No. No. -No.
-No, it's fine. -Fine.
-Yes. -I'm taking over now.
Power up. Noah's Ark, go.
-Yes. Right. -I will take responsibility.
I will take care of my baby.
You want what?
To watch Ben this weekend.
So we can test whether it works.
Why should we test it?
Sarah needs to know if she can take the new job.
Or if I should take a year of parental leave for Ben.
Parental leave?
We are Ben's parents.
-Yeah. -Yeah. I call it this.
You can call it differently. A "sabbatical" or so.
I'd like to do it for Marie.
No way. No way. Absolutely no way. That's my job.
If you can't manage this, a nanny will be really expensive.
Hello? What nanny?
I'm Ben's dad. I can take care of him very well, Sarah.
Excuse me.
-Excuse me. -Sarah.
Sorry.
Who does she think she is?
-She wants to help. -No, she wants to discredit me.
Nonsense.
Let's just give it a try with Sarah. It could be a huge relief for both of us.
-She wants to give a year of her life. -And take one of his from me.
On the contrary. We could then go to the Tube again.
Someday. Maybe. But I want to be here for Ben now, fully.
You are already.
Yes, but I want to prove that I can handle it.
That I can take responsibility.
I know you can.
Okay.
So we don't do the test weekend for Sarah, but for you.
And if you screw up, I'll be there.
-Sarah. -It's fine.
Enough for four days. Better safe than sorry.
Yeah, and if it lasts longer, for babies, kebabs without spice.
-Only breast milk, nothing else. -Yes.
What's that?
My grill tongs.
If his pacifier or cuddly caterpillar falls down
the back of the car or something.
We can't all have arms as long as yours.
Okay.
I'm out. Okay.
Come to Daddy.
-I need that. -Sorry.
Do I get one, too?
Bye.
Say bye. Say bye. Bye, Mommy.
Say bye-bye.
And now what, buddy?
What does Mommy do when you can't sleep?
Probably not the cool things Dad does.
Yes.
Are you in the mood for a little adventure?
Come on, Ben. That was a great idea with the roundabout.
Get some sleep. Do yourself and Dad a little favor.
You know I'm under a little pressure.
-Hello? -Yo! What's up!
Nothing. You?
Nothing. Correcting chemistry tests. But I have a solution.
Chemically?
Physically. For our standby friendship.
-For today? -Not today, I'm with Ben. Forgotten?
-What? That's today? -Yep.
Watch out. Hold on tight. Today is the last concert at the Tube.
-What? -Yes.
Stop it.
Dude, do you notice anything at all?
I canceled the newsletter because I cry when I miss a concert.
Imagine you miss the last concert ever. I mean ever, ever, ever.
-Are you kidding? -No, man. They're closing our living room.
Forever.
Okay, call a babysitter.
Hello. Noah?
-Wait a second. I need a moment. -Man. You need a whole night.
-Ask Klara. -I can't, Baumi.
-Why? -Sarah is just waiting for that.
Then he must come.
-Baumi. -Noah.
I won't take him to a concert.
Noah, it's our club.
We spent more time there than school, at least awake.
I mean, we laughed, we cried, we danced...
Stop it. This sounds like a sappy song.
You met Marie there.
Hello? Are you even listening to me?
Hey, since you've been a father, it's all about you.
And poor lonely Baumi is here on a Saturday night correcting tests
instead of going to the last concert at the Tube. I... Man, I'm still young.
I'm still alive. And I don't have a car.
Call a taxi.
I'm doing that. And since I'm a good friend,
I remember what you told me at our last concert
before Ben was born.
I can't wait to see this with Ben.
Today is your last chance.
Man, you're not sleeping anyway, are you?
Okay, watch out. I'll come with you.
Marie says I have to trust myself more with him.
So, I mean, I...
I'll drive you over there.
-I'll be right there. -Okay.
-Boom. -Hello?
Please talk after the beep.
That was cool, wasn't it?
Now we get to pick up the fine gentleman upstairs.
Jochen. Super timing.
-Have you seen Baumi? -Baumi is on the roof.
Beer-pong duty.
Could you be kind and get him for me? I have a baby.
Sorry. The pizza doesn't deliver itself.
-Is everything okay? -I'm fine.
What? Hey.
Don't look like that. I lived here once, too.
Yeah, look here. Sorry.
Baumi?
Noah?
-Hey. -Oh, my God, you're here.
-How cool is that? -How are you?
And what about your fear of heights?
Yes, thanks for pointing that out.
You two didn't see me here, okay?
I once read that acrophobia can be smoked away.
Or was it the other way around?
That fear of heights comes from smoking weed?
Because you're already high?
-Have you seen Baumi? -He's somewhere around here.
Hey, baby. Does Ben want to dance?
-What? -Does Ben want to dance?
Yes, yes, yes.
-Not for long. -Yep, yep.
Hello, Ben.
Who wants to party? Do you want to party?
Okay.
-Mimi... -Yay.
My man.
Stop it.
-Come on now, I want to go. -Yeah, yeah.
Do you remember the magic rainbows?
They are banging right now.
Hey, you have to drive.
I mixed it up a little. A bit here, a bit there and then poof.
-If there where no teachers, right? -It's about spreading knowledge.
Wait a minute.
-Baumi. Could we please... -The right amount of sugar and fat.
-Baumi, please. -I'll only hand them out briefly.
Hey, Mimi. Tell me...
Did you just do a body shot in front of my son?
Body shots are funny.
-Give him to me. -No.
-Mimi, it's not funny. -Come and get him.
Mimi, give...
It's not funny, okay? Now give him.
Yeah, it's nice here at the party.
Mimi, that's nasty. Come on.
You see, he doesn't want to. He's holding my hair tight.
Thank you.
Hey, you'll never dance with her again.
Baumi. Hey. Baumi. Now or never.
-Okay, now, absolutely. -Okay, hurry.
We're going to the Tube, man.
To a real party, not a children's birthday like this.
Bye-bye.
Not a peep.
-Just wanted to say good night. -I'm just putting him to bed.
Really?
It sounds like you're in the car.
Yes, I am. It's supposed to be the best trick
and quieter than a vacuum cleaner.
-Noah... -Babe, just down at the roundabout.
-All is fine. -Just don't fall asleep.
Don't worry.
-Give him the keys. -Noah?
-Everything okay? -Yes, great.
-Noah? -Yes. Tell me, how are you?
-Are you having fun? -More like stress.
I'm running from one appointment to the next.
-And you're calling me? -I wanted to hear your voice.
-Mine or... -Yours.
Okay, good.
Then don't stress yourself and nothing else will happen now.
Nothing else?
Yes.
I think he fell asleep.
Yes, he fell asleep. We'll chat tomorrow, babe, okay?
-Okay. -Love you.
-Dude. -What?
Noah?
-Yes? -Hi.
What's wrong?
-You have to calm me down. -What happened?
Noah is driving Ben around in the car to get him to sleep, but he sounded weird.
I'm on my way.
-No. -Yes, I am.
I just want to see if he needs help. Problem solved.
-If he fucks up... -He won't fuck up.
He'll fuck up!
Klara. I'm going to see Noah. Look after your brother.
Henri, do you want to sleep at a buddy's tonight?
-Cool. May I? -Yes.
Noah Wittmann.
Noah Wittmann, hold on... I'll say it.
Noah, this is your favorite sister-in-law.
I am in front of your house, but you are not there. Nor your car.
Something tells me you're really fucking up right now.
I'm just wondering where...
-Isn't it great? -I'm just driving you.
-You and me. -I'm just taking you there.
-Two men and a baby. -One man, two babies.
-Stop being uncool. -What?
-Be cool. -I am cool.
The cool one is going to a concert tonight.
No way. Marie would kill me.
-He's your baby, too. -Yeah.
Okay. Before you say "but" again, Uncle Baumi thought ahead.
Here. Noise absorbing, 100%.
They have the same things for Angelina Jolie's babies for concerts.
-What are you planning? -Man, you know what?
The bass rocks the little ones to sleep.
For them, it's as if it were natural. It's awesome.
I have my own VIP section there.
-I don't know. -Man.
-Baumi. -Noah.
-Baumi. -It's the Tube.
I know.
What do you say?
-Yeah, baby. -Hey, that wasn't a yes.
Dude, that was baby talk for,
-"I want a cool dad." -It was more like, "You'll get killed."
No. No sugar, no carbs.
Shit. Ben forgot his caterpillar.
So he was here? Where did they go?
Both of them...
Okay. Listen up. You don't want to mess with me.
I'm a lawyer for kid's TV and kids' TV laws do not mess around.
So where did they go?
Understood.
Hey, man. Turn the music back on.
Yes, it's fine. Calm down. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's fine, I know.
You want to party and drink and be young.
Let's do this quickly, okay?
So, I'm looking for Noah.
I know that he was here and someone here knows where he was going.
He's on the road with Baumi, right?
-Are you his mother? -Sister-in-law.
I promised Marie that I would look after her baby.
So you are you Ben's grandma?
-Aunt. Have you seen Ben? -Are you looking for Ben or Noah?
Both. Even if that is inconceivable for your little pea brain, yellow hat.
Dude, chill, we're just celebrating. Some of us have had a hard week.
-Really? -Yeah.
-God. It was hard, yeah? -Yes.
You guys deserve a break, right?
You don't even have the faintest idea what's hard.
Have you ever heard of "pseudo croup"?
No? You haven't? That sounds something like this...
Imagine a little baby, your little baby.
It's 2:00 in the morning and then suddenly...
You grab the child, open the window, nothing helps.
Still... Does it drown? Maybe. In any case, it gasps and croaks.
So what do you? You take the child to the bathroom,
which is filled with steam.
And then there is your six-year-old daughter,
who has eaten the whole cake from the refrigerator.
And now she pukes and chokes while at the same time diarrhea sets in.
So you're stuck with hot steam at 2:00 in the morning
in a small room that basically smells like the hot, humid fart of a gorilla.
That is hard.
But you do it. You do it because you must.
And because you love children. And because for a long time,
it's not only about yourself!
And today, it's about my little nephew,
who is in the hands of two absolute idiots.
So, who will tell me where they are now?
-They wanted to go to the Tube. -Tom.
-Where is the Tube? -I'll take you there.
Great. Let's go.
Come on.
Wait a second. Who are you and why are you at this idiotic party?
My name is Tom and I live on the ground floor.
Just to avoid any misunderstanding,
I'm not the type to go with weird men and get into weird cars, okay?
I don't have a car.
Great. We'll take mine.
We'll take yours.
Dude, this is the last time to say goodbye
to the place where we got baked for the first time.
The club where you first heard the sound of N.E.R.D.
Man, where we celebrated graduation.
Think about your first evening with Marie.
Marie will never know.
You're right.
-I'll come. -Yeah, you'll come.
-To the door. Not inside. -No, no, no.
Very sensible. But in a bad way.
But in an emergency, Baumi will smoke horse droppings. Deal.
You've smoked horse droppings?
No, that's just a saying. So, nonsense...
In an emergency, you say these things...
So depending on what the animals have eaten,
that can also be very exciting. I don't know.
I've smoked a lot in my life.
Shit.
-You gave him the car key? -You told me to.
His keys! The toy ones, man!
What is he going to do with the car key? Ben, Dad is here. Bite on it, Ben.
Take another bite, Ben.
Bite the key.
-Yes, exactly. -Bite.
-Come on. Come on. Bite. -Bite.
Yes, bite.
Sorry.
Come on, come on.
Hey, they're trying to break into the car.
Fourth time this week.
Ben, come on, you can do it.
Ben, Ben, Ben. Don't cry. Don't cry.
We're playing a game.
Where is Baumi?
There's Baumi.
Ben.
Yeah, come on.
Ben. I'm coming.
Come here.
Hey, Ben, give Papa the keys.
Ben, give Papa the...
The grill tongs.
I love you, Marie.
Yes.
Hey, Papa will get you out.
We're in.
RESIDENTS ONLY
Yeah, what an adventure, right?
Okay, but come on now.
Excuse me? No way. That was a sign.
Why? The little guy is fine.
Hey, what kind of dad are you?
The one with a broken car, Baumi.
Hey, aren't you Noah?
Wolle's assistant?
-Yes. -What are you doing here?
We're going to the Tube.
With a baby.
Nice.
Then, see you inside. I'd really like to chat with you anyways.
Okay, cool.
See you later.
That was a sign.
Tibo.
NEW SMS FROM SARAH I WILL FIND YOU!
Forget it.
I hate it when I'm right.
Yeah, drive, come on.
Jerk.
Thanks for taking me there.
I'm too old for these parties. You were the only interesting person.
The bar wasn't that high, right? Why do you live there anyway?
Divorced for nine months. Trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do
-on a Saturday night. -Blessed are the childless.
-Or do you have some? -We decided against it.
-But you have two. -Yes. Klara and Henri.
What are you doing?
And what is your name?
Sarah. Sarah. I'm Sarah.
-Maybe one should start with that, right? -As long as you don't end with that.
Oh, no.
-What is it? -Marie's breast milk.
-Dude. -Shit.
It doesn't help that we know Ralf.
Hey, careful. That's liquid gold.
Trust me.
A bottle still fits between the belt and my belly.
You can keep it.
-What is that? -Breast milk.
-For the baby? -Trash.
If the little one screams and people complain, then it's your problem, okay?
-Is that a real baby? -What else?
No entry without teeth.
Wait a second. We know Ralf.
Just one song. I just want to show him my club before it's gone.
I don't care. Ralf can thank me. We don't need any lawsuits.
-What? -I study law.
Come on, piss off. Go on, boy.
You just have to know how to deactivate the fire alarm.
-The door isn't linked to the fire alarm. -Whatever.
Do you smell that?
That's the smell of happiness.
Where's our area?
Yeah, I wanted to tell you. Unfortunately, the VIP area didn't work out.
But there's hardly anything going on here compared to downstairs, right?
It's okay. I'm just staying for one song.
Come on, go, it's enough that someone has to stay up here.
Thanks, Dad.
Just like Baumi, I used to go out here, too.
Just look.
Yeah, great.
Hey.
Klara?
-What are you doing here? -Chill. Henri's at a friend's house.
Does Sarah know you're here?
Don't uncle me. She's looking for you.
I'm guessing because of Ben.
-Who is this guy? -TJ. We know each other from Insta.
From Instagram. It's fine.
What's up with you? You sound like Mom.
-Don't do anything you'll regret later. -Man, this is my life.
-Who's this guy? -My ex.
Can't get over me.
-Shit, my mom. -Shit, your mom.
Klara...
Klara.
-Are you a VIP or something? -Why?
They let us in so easy.
No, I'm a firefighter.
We're here a lot for fire safety and all that.
-Firefighter? -Yes.
Did you hear that?
No.
Klara.
Baumi. Baumi.
Hey.
-Come. -What?
I need to go now. Come on. Sarah is here.
Shit. Caretaker alert.
What are you doing?
-Don't you work with kids? -Just because I can dance good?
Hey.
I'll find you, Noah.
Look. She's stalking me. For no reason.
Well, what kind of father takes his baby to a concert?
-You're not calling Marie, are you? -No. Klara. Answer!
It kinda smells like stress right now.
Stress. Baumi, you have no idea what stress is.
Sarah hates herself and her life and is happy when I am miserable.
If she catches us, she'll tell Marie everything
-and then Sarah is Ben's new dad. -But without balls.
Sorry that I had to get out of there.
That was a lame party anyway. Are you up for a real one?
Yeah, sure.
Klara, stop acting like me.
Dude, someone smashed your window and stole your car.
Are you...
Thanks.
Thank you.
So, when you're up here, you have to dance, too.
You can also look around while you dance. See?
-Have you been here before? -Yeah, but it's been a long time.
Early '00s or so.
How did I not talk to you then?
I can't say for sure. It was a wild time.
"Was"?
Noah?
Everything's okay. Nothing happened.
I'm fine.
Really? The thieves were watched and reported? Great.
All right, thank you very much.
Hey, I can't get a hold of Paul and Mimi. If they're partying, they are way out.
Hey, now they're taking drugs. Look.
I know him. He's a student of mine.
-What? -Tobias Jencke.
Calls himself TJ. He's...
-What? -Hard to say.
He's in the Champion's League drug-wise.
I get my LSD from him. Super-fresh.
It could be that he has some damage up top.
Hey, yeah, you're getting hungry, aren't you?
Give me the milk.
Yeah...
What's this?
Breast milk.
Where's the rest?
-Broken. -What?
Broken.
-Then should we head home? -I brought all of them with us, Baumi.
-Okay, then. Minimart? They've got them. -Minimart?
Breast milk! Because he doesn't get anything else. No kebabs.
-What are you doing? -Looking for the last bottle of milk.
Hey, relax. I also give first aid courses.
Who is Gregor?
You write stories in ink, huh?
Left nothing but scars. End of story.
Does it hurt a lot?
It's okay.
I'll fix it up faster than you can say "ouch."
Trust me.
But I barely know you.
Then I'll confess something to you.
I lied earlier.
My wife
didn't want children.
That's what broke us up.
I'm sorry...
See? Faster than you can say "ouch."
Look here.
That's the bottle they took away from the people in front of us.
The bag's got to be in there.
Hello. Dad will be back soon.
Reminder, Ben is a baby.
He doesn't want to get thrown, take selfies, or learn to walk.
That's your opinion. But okay.
Hey!
Hey, you pisser!
-The cat, Mimi. -Damn pisser, that's my container.
Sorry. I'll leave all your drugs in it, I just need one thing.
Do I look like a fucking junkie? I've been clean for over three weeks.
I'm not saying people accept this automatically...
-But that you automatically assumed... -Excuse me.
Now, let me think about it again.
About the drugs. Only because he started it. Yeah.
-Yeah, that was shitty, Noah. -Yeah, really shitty. Thanks.
A real setback.
You can take everything you want out of the bin right away.
I just need my breast milk.
There's milk in there?
Breast milk.
Did you hear, Hasselhoff?
Today, there's milk.
Oh, God.
-Forget it. It's for my baby. -Hasselhoff is my baby.
Do you know how long it's been since he had fresh milk?
Your baby that's fat and plump and rosy?
I know you can't even see his ribs.
Baumi! Baumi!
Tell me, are you completely crazy or what?
This is all just a game.
Baumi!
Wait.
-Marie. -Hey.
-Yeah. -Last call, promise.
-Is everything okay with Noah? -Yeah, great. Don't worry.
Everything is fine here.
-We chat tomorrow, okay? -Yeah, okay.
-Bye. -Okay, bye.
I...
I've got to find Noah.
COMMERCIAL WASTE
-Baumi! -Hey.
-Baumi. -Hey.
Yeah.
Hey. You're a good father.
My father, he wouldn't have fought so hard for me.
Marie.
I can't believe it. I missed them.
Now where do you want to go?
No idea. I've got to find my nephew, okay?
And you are...
-A distraction. -A pleasant one?
I hope.
-But Ben is more important. -I can't do this, okay?
I'm a mother. I have responsibilities. I can't simply turn that off.
-Why not? -Asks the guy without kids.
Well, then...
I wish you luck.
They lock that stuff up?
-Looks expensive. -Definitely for me.
Can someone unlock this here, please?
-Good evening. -Hello.
-Formula or alcohol? -Best if it could be baby alcohol.
Formula, please.
-You'll eat soon. -Anything else?
Yeah, we also need some hot water.
That's your kid, right?
His kid. I still have a life.
-You still have a life? -Yes, I'm not saying I won't find a wife.
Why?
Thanks.
-Three spoonfuls of powder, shake, done. -Got it.
-That's €37.98. -Yes.
What is it? We'll have it soon.
Shit. Have you seen my wallet? It was here.
Hey, no... It's not in there.
-Do you have money? -No.
-Why didn't you bring any money? -I thought you're inviting me.
-Do you have Apple Pay? -No, but we have formula, for €37.98.
-Collateral? -Yes.
My watch? Look, it's my girlfriend's engagement present.
Maybe even...
You must be a mother too, Ms...
Yildiz. Yes, and my son was in bed by now.
Especially as a baby.
Yes, and that's exactly where mine should be. In his bed.
As fathers, we have to... Sorry, as parents,
we have to stick together, Ms. Yemaz.
-Yildiz. -Yildiz? Ms. Yildiz.
Don't do it, boy.
-What? -We have a lot of experience here
with that sort of thing.
What? What does she mean?
-Hey. -Baumi!
Hey!
Naci. Naci.
-What? -Learn Turkish, boy. Thieves.
-You can't be serious? -The punishment is the same.
Do you hear that?
Now I will scare you.
Are you crazy or what?
We have a baby here, you idiot!
I haven't run like this since the national youth games.
Okay, okay. Come on.
Come on.
Because of you, I'm eating garbage, Noah.
Here. There, there. There, there.
Yes, I know... Look. Now there's something to eat, huh?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, something's coming soon.
Sorry.
Can you?
Is it too hot?
No, it's good. Tell me. Did you step in shit?
-What? -Did you step in shit?
Yes.
I need a changing mat, wet wipes and a diaper.
Did you just smell his butt?
-What? -Did you just smell his butt?
It's a baby. They poop.
Besides, he only drinks breast milk. It doesn't stink.
You put your nose in poop voluntarily.
That's not right.
You have to stop that. At least in front of me.
Yes, I know. What a night, huh? We need to head home.
What about your drugged niece?
Ben's more important. He needs to go to bed.
Okay. I'll call a taxi.
Asshole. Just tonight, Sarah. Because you need the sugar. Otherwise you get tired.
That's so good.
You will pay for that.
Bad news.
I can only find taxis with child seats, not baby seats.
It's obvious. At this time, babies shouldn't be out and about.
Hey. What are you doing with the baby?
-Holm, call the cops. -Yo.
Elvis, grab it.
Guys, this is a misunderstanding. This is my son.
This isn't what it looks like.
What does this look like?
The little one is fine. I think he just doesn't want the milk.
Baby milk?
-How old is the little guy? -Twenty weeks.
Let them go.
That really is his child.
Otherwise he wouldn't have answered in weeks.
Have you already given him Sab Simplex?
-Sab what? -Sab Simplex.
Or fennel tea?
Hey, maybe he's just teething.
When my daughter was in this phase, I almost went nuts.
Put a small washcloth in the freezer for him
so he can chew on it.
Okay.
I will. Thank you.
Give him to me a second.
What?
-Give him the baby. -I can't give him my baby.
-Give him the baby. -I don't even know this guy.
-He's a stranger. -I have four small, wonderful children.
I know how to calm them, okay?
-Hey, but, please... -I just want to burp him.
I just did.
I've got you, baby. I've got you.
Boss, you're so good at it.
It was the same with my third one.
Always needed a second burp ten minutes after drinking.
Thanks.
Kurt. But my friends call me Fist.
Look. So happy.
I didn't know what to do with my first one, either.
Only with the second, it started to feel right.
Then it came together.
Today, the only thing I'm unbeatable at is babies.
-And reinforced concrete. -Yeah, reinforced concrete.
It's an art.
-You either have it or you don't, right? -Yes, right.
-Thanks. -Pleasure.
Really. Thank you.
Oh, crap. I totally forgot.
Hands up.
Baby down.
He forgot this. Amateurs.
-Baumi, you said, was one's name? -Yes.
Naci will find them.
You should leave that to us instead.
Suspicious men on the loose. Two confused-looking guys with a baby.
Got it. I'm on my way. Have a good night.
Nice watch.
So now again from the beginning. Why did you steal the car?
We didn't steal a car. Mine was stolen. I reported it.
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
CAR THEFT
-We live in a surveillance state. -A resident took the photo.
That's my car. Black Audi, license number PW1036.
It has a sticker which says "Noah's Ark."
You have a photo of me breaking into my car.
-Why would you do that? -I locked my baby inside.
I accidentally locked my baby inside.
-And why is your baby out so late? -What does that mean? It's my baby. Ben.
-Or is it just a prop? -What?
You distract salespeople with a baby so your junkie boyfriend can get the stuff.
-Junkie friend? -The stolen powder says it all.
Do you use it to stretch the coke or heroin?
Nothing gets stolen by guys like you like baby milk powder.
That's why the locked case.
I wanted to... I had to feed my baby.
We only needed milk! Only milk!
And he stole chocolate bars?
Maybe you want to answer that question?
The punishment is the same, isn't it?
I should have stayed home. I just wanted to drive my baby around to fall asleep.
And then he called... Takes me to... And then I lock my baby in the car
and then he lost the milk.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I made a mistake and I am...
Noah Wittmann!
Sarah Kofler. His sister-in-law. And lawyer.
You can't choose your brother-in-law, can you? But he's not a car thief.
And I'm not a junkie.
Well, I cleared up the misunderstanding at the minimart and settled the bill.
Here,
your watch.
Who do we have there?
Is that Dr. Raupi?
Hello, hello. Aunt Sarah will take you to safety now.
-Hey. Then I'd say... -Shut up, Baumi.
I'm bringing the little one home,
and what you two do, I couldn't care less.
-Sarah, I can explain. -Save it, Noah.
I'm only here for Marie. Besides, I'll soon be on parental leave.
So awesome, and I was already thinking, man, it has... Hey. Congratulations.
How long did you last at home?
Ten minutes? Five?
Do you understand now that Marie needs me? You are such a failure, Noah.
You wouldn't even notice if he fell off the table.
Hey, and you don't even notice if your daughter is secretly partying.
What?
Nothing. Everything is fine.
Very harmless. Klara is at a teen party.
Fine? I would never let my daughter hang out with TJ. Don't worry.
"Don't worry"?
-Where is she? -At the culture depot.
Sarah, take Ben home and Baumi and I will pick up Klara.
I'll pick up my daughter!
Do you want something?
For tripping?
Sure.
Is that it now?
-Evil wins? -You heard what she said.
She's not exactly wrong.
Bullshit.
You're just crawling away like a snake.
It's my discipline, not yours.
And just for the record, okay...
I think it's great that you're a dad.
You know, that gives me courage.
I mean, if you can do it...
then maybe I can do it one day.
A good father would have stayed home with his baby.
I'm an idiot.
But it's still better than being an ass.
You know, assholes... They quit.
They leave.
But you aren't an asshole.
Hey, you're one of the good guys.
You have your own massive...
protective shield of love when you have Ben in your arms.
And that needs to lift you up now.
Yes, man.
Are you shitting me?
Hey. Is that...
A magic rainbow. Hey, if she only ate one of them whole...
-Ben. -Shit.
Well, wild night, right, Benny?
Now let's pick up your cousin from a party.
Should the old aunt go for it again? What do you think?
Shake the dance floor a little?
Unpack a few of my old moves?
Should we? You don't believe me?
I'll show you, baby.
I was the star of every party, I'm telling you.
I have the best moves. The best moves. And Sarah is back.
No hands.
All right, guys? Your journey ends here.
What do you want, asswipe?
We cleared everything. I don't have time for stress.
My son has been kidnapped by his aunt who is as high as Snoop Dogg.
If we need to fight, I'll ram you and your piss bowl into the ground.
Moron. You want to mess with me?
I don't just look like King Kong. I am King Kong.
Wait. One second.
That's my song. That's my idea.
Tibo. My idea. He used my idea.
-Yes! -No!
Yeah!
Hey!
You know Tibo?
Yes, of course he knows Tibo.
Tibo and Noah, they're...
Somehow, you are slowly getting my sympathy.
But this is not a piss bowl.
Definitely not.
How fast does it go?
Now watch out. Hold on to your tongues.
-Mommy! -Mommy!
Here I am again.
Well, you sweet little yummy, yummy baby.
You smell so good.
Come. Let's go have a look. Let's go have a look.
Klara?
Klara!
Thanks, man.
Those aren't the only possibilities in life, Naci.
Thanks.
Are we going to do something now?
I have to let it go to work first.
Don't you feel anything?
Sorry. I'm a little scared of losing control.
Klara!
Hey, have you seen a woman with a baby?
Horrible pickup line.
Klara!
What are you doing here?
Well, what are you doing here?
Having a little fun. Otherwise I'll end up like you, a bitter bitch.
Listen, I know how this ends, yeah? Because I was just like you.
Just because you were out of control doesn't mean I'm the same.
What's going on here, huh?
What's going on here?
Mom, stop it. This is embarrassing, stop it.
Stop it.
-Hey, maybe I can have some fun, too. -What do you know about fun?
That's not funny.
Yes, it is very funny.
Maybe it has to be like that, yeah? Children should have fun.
Hey, Benny, Benny, Benny.
-Hey, come here. -Mom, Mom, Mom.
Okay. Give me Ben and let's go.
-Yes... -Yeah.
-Yes. -Yeah.
Or...
We're going to have a little party.
-Give me Ben. -I'm never allowed to go to parties.
Four, three, two, one... Color.
My firefighter.
Mom?
Mom!
One, two, three, color.
Noah.
-Klara. -Noah.
-Klara.
Klara.
-Baumi. -Here.
-Have you seen your mom? -Yes, totally lit.
-Yeah, I know, she has Ben. -Yes, I know.
Yeah, I know. Come on.
Hey, have you seen a woman? She looks like someone's mom. With a baby.
Yes, looked totally drunk.
Where?
-Hey. -There.
Baumi!
Hey, did you hear that?
Up there.
Maybe I didn't show you enough of what I wanted to.
-And I'll show you. Have a look. -Sarah!
Mom!
Shit. She better not have Ben up there.
-Shit. Sarah! -Noah, man.
Turn the music off.
Sarah!
Sarah, Sarah, Sarah.
Stop it!
-Shut up! -Sarah!
Shut up!
-Oh, God. Oh, God. -You can do it, man. Just don't look down.
Oh, God.
You can do it. You can do it.
I'll kill you.
Oh, God. Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Sarah. Are you crazy or what? Please, come here.
What do you want? Do you want to spoil my fun, too?
No. I want to know where Ben is.
Ben is safe.
But I'm not, emotionally.
I can't. I can't.
I have to dance.
I want to fly.
Sarah! Shit, it's high.
Sarah. Stay. Shit.
Sarah, please. Please, come over here, okay?
Get lost. Can't you see? I've got something good going right now.
-Sarah, please get your ass over here now. -Never!
Well, my little firefighter?
-Sarah! -Mom!
It's my firefighter!
Come on.
Let's fly, my firefighter.
Shit.
-Sarah! -We've got to do something.
Oh, God.
Sarah, hey, hey. This is really dangerous. Please come here.
-No, I must... -The sangria bowl.
...dance. I must fly.
Why the sangria bowl? You can't drink now.
-Baumi. -I'm a bird.
Sarah, hey. Listen.
You can dance as much as you want. But please dance over there, please.
Or better, let's go back down and we can dance below. Where's Ben?
Ben is fine.
Because I'm watching him. In contrast to you.
Help!
You're a complete catastrophe.
You brought a baby to a club. And to a party.
This is better, or what?
Po-tay-to. Po-tah-to.
Push. Push. Push. Everything in there. Put it in there.
-Now tell me the fuck where my son is. -No!
You know what? I know guys like you.
You all fuck up.
But Marie is my little sister.
Okay, stop, stop. Bring more drinks.
And if you leave her...
If you don't change, then I swear,
I'll chase you to the end of the world and I'll kill you!
I know you, Gregor.
You piss off when things get tough, right?
Leaving me, let me pay the rent...
let me raise babies by myself
because you keep getting out of taking responsibility.
Because you're a coward, Gregor.
-And just a shitty father. -Now shut up, okay?
I'm not Gregor. I'm Noah.
And I'm not a shitty father.
And I'm still learning. Yeah, that's right. But I want to.
Okay? And I'll be the best dad ever to Ben.
That's why I won't let you take it away from me.
I won't let you come between us.
And believe it or not, I love Marie. Okay?
And I would never leave her because I am not Gregor!
Shit, this is high!
Noah...
you suddenly have...
-...balls. -Sarah. Hey!
Oh, God.
I want love.
Yeah!
Mom, that's Baumi. Stop it.
Yes, not with Baumi.
With my firefighter.
I want my firefighter.
Love!
I want love.
Quick question. Can you still drink that?
Of course we can still drink it. It's alcohol.
Man, grab her.
Ben?
I love you, little guy.
Thanks for not being mad at me.
And not a word to Mom, right?
At most, "Papa."
Love!
-Where am I? -At home.
What happened?
No memory?
I dreamed I was drowning,
but the water was, like, so yummy.
You were in a Jacuzzi full of sangria.
That's why now you're a party legend.
Klara,
did I kiss Baumi?
Hey, that was just appropriate.
I mean, I rescued you.
Oh, God.
Noah carried you to the car.
Then sat with you all night.
I did that, too.
He was even ready to call the ambulance and held his phone all night.
I didn't do that.
Really?
Yesterday, did he say anything about me
pulling Ben away from him and Marie?
Or was I dreaming that?
-He had that nerve? -Respect.
-Where is he now? -He's trying to get home before Marie.
-She's already on her way? -Yes, and she thinks he's waiting
at home with Ben who smells like rose petals.
Honey?
Hello.
Hi, sweetie.
-You're back early. -I just wanted to be with you.
-Look who's here. -Hi, my darling.
Hello.
Hi.
How was the rest of your night?
Great, actually.
Yeah...
Yeah, I know.
Well, it would have been great,
but...
Marie, I screwed up.
What did you do?
I took Ben to the last concert at the Tube.
With Baumi.
And that's not all. Our car was stolen. My wallet was in it.
I lost all the milk bags. I got in a fight with a homeless guy over the last bag.
And lost.
And that's why I had to steal baby formula from a minimart.
We were almost run over.
And arrested. Briefly, at least.
Because the cops thought we were drug dealers.
But Sarah cleared everything up.
Before she fell from high scaffolding into a sangria pool.
Then we stayed with her overnight. All of us.
Except, yes, Ben, he was wide awake.
I screwed up.
I am so sorry. Truly.
"Everything's fine, sweetie.
"It was a good night.
"Noah is the best father for Ben I could ever imagine.
"Have fun on parental leave, Noah. Kiss, Sarah."
Nice try.
Marie. Wait a minute. I have to get one thing straight, okay? Yesterday, I...
Noah. It's fine.
Or did you do something that will affect Ben permanently?
No. That's not what it's about. I just want you to trust me.
That's exactly what I was thinking about this morning.
I never should have asked Sarah to check in on you.
Ben is our child.
And you will always do what's best for him, right?
Of course. Always.
And honestly, I've screwed up, too.
I forgot him on the bus the other day.
-You did what? -Just for a second.
But believe me, you don't want to know everything that's already happened to him.
He fell asleep.
In your arms.
Deichkind is playing here next week.
Deichkind? They were playing the day Ben was born.
We could ask Sarah if she could watch Ben for the night.
Or we could take him with us. With noise-cancelling headphones.
Angelina Jolie always did that.
Tom?
Hey.
It's time for you to get balls.
Balls!
Sarah... No. What's her name?
My sister.
I can do it.
What's up with you, man?
I'm looking for Noah. I know he was here.
Where did the mamba go? Again...
Hey. Just one song. I just want to show him my club before...
No entry without teeth.
Hey!
Where are the others?
-Broken. -What?
-Hey. A minimart. -A minimart?
-They must have it. -Breast milk.
That's my car. A black Audi with the license number...
M-W-N-L-O-P...
And the stolen chocolate bar?
Maybe you want to answer the question.
-I was hungry. -I just had...
Hey, everything okay? I would never bring my daughter to hang out with TJ. He...
-Did I hurt you? -I'm fine.
Hey, if she ate that...
Ben.
-I didn't do anything. -Again?
Somehow, you guys are gaining my sympathy.