Downloaded from YTS.MX
[Olivia Rodrigo] How would I describe this chapter of my life?
Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX
[screams]
[on radio] ♪ I got my driver's license last week ♪
♪ Just like we always talked about ♪
Oh, my God.
It's on the radio.
♪ To finally drive up to your house ♪
[radio deejay] You're listening to the most popular song on the planet.
It's "drivers license" by Olivia Rodrigo.
♪ You weren't around-- ♪
It's been the absolute craziest week of my life.
Wait, so you're second semester senior year,
and you just released your first single?
Yeah, first semester. Yep. Not even second.
I'm like dying over here.
Oh! For those of you just joining, I just put out a song called "drivers license."
It's my first debut-- What do we call it? Debut single?
This is, like, the first song that I wrote from my perspective that is coming out.
It's number one in the world on, like, all streaming platforms
and, like, breaking all these records.
My entire life just shifted in an instant.
My life is just so weird. Like, I don't--
Like, I moved out of my house. I'm, like, not living with my parents.
My album's done. I'm almost done with high school.
So weird. It's all, like, happening at once.
[audio rewinds]
-[tape clicks] -[audio stops]
Hi, I'm Olivia Rodrigo…
from California.
I just want to sing a little song to my friends and family out there.
Starting now.
[film projector whirring]
[Rodrigo] Being in Salt Lake makes me think so much
about the early days when I first started writing Sour.
I've always loved writing really emotional songs.
Like, I remember just writing these, like, super angsty songs
about, like, how I didn't fit into society or something. [chuckles]
I've always been so attracted to music like that,
that, like, hits these, like, deep parts of the human psyche.
I think being a songwriter is actually, like, the best job and the best craft.
There's nothing that connects people
and there's nothing that is a truer window into human emotion than music.
[keyboard playing]
["happier" playing]
♪ We broke up a month ago ♪
♪ Your friends are mine ♪
♪ You know I know You've moved on ♪
♪ Found someone new ♪
♪ One more girl Who brings out the better in you ♪
♪ And I thought my heart was detached ♪
♪ From all the sunlight of our past ♪
♪ But she's so sweet She's so pretty ♪
♪ Does she mean you forgot about me? ♪
♪ Oh, I hope you're happy ♪
♪ Just not like how you were with me ♪
♪ I'm selfish, I know I can't let you go ♪
♪ So find someone great But don't find no one better ♪
♪ I hope you're happy But don't be happier ♪
♪ Do you tell her ♪
♪ She's the most beautiful girl You've ever seen? ♪
♪ An eternal love bullshit You know you'll never mean ♪
♪ Remember when I believed ♪
♪ You meant it When you said it first to me? ♪
♪ And now I'm picking her apart ♪
♪ Like cutting her down Will make you miss my wretched heart ♪
♪ She's beautiful She looks kind ♪
♪ She probably gives you butterflies ♪
♪ I hope you're happy ♪
♪ Just not like how you were with me ♪
♪ I'm selfish, I know I can't let you go ♪
♪ So find someone great But don't find no one better ♪
♪ I hope you're happy ♪
♪ I wish you all the best, really ♪
♪ Say you love her, baby Not like you loved me ♪
♪ And think of me fondly When your hands are on her ♪
♪ I hope you're happy But don't be happier ♪
♪ I hope you're happy ♪
♪ Just not like how you were with me ♪
♪ I'm selfish, I know I can't let you go ♪
♪ So find someone great But don't find no one better ♪
♪ I hope you're happy Just don't be happier ♪
[song ends]
[Rodrigo] So much of the album was written between Salt Lake City and Los Angeles.
And so I thought it would be fun to do a road trip one last time.
I wanna play the songs in these places that meant so much to me,
and revisit them with older eyes, I guess.
I remember posting the song "happier" online
and looking back on it and being like, "Oh, my God. This song is terrible.
It got no likes. I sang it really badly. Why did I do that?"
But I had this, like, gut feeling to keep it up.
That feeling served me well, 'cause that song changed everything for me.
The fact that I posted it was the reason that I met Dan
'cause he found it and was like,
"Oh, my God. I love this song. We should work together."
That was the first song that we produced together, was-- was "happier."
Then I made the rest of my album with Dan.
There you go. It's on. I just did it wrong.
[Nigro] I don't think that one's on.
[camera beeps]
[vocalizing]
[Nigro chuckles] Yes.
-[Rodrigo] What's that? -The very first song we wrote together.
I don't wanna hear it. I literally don't wanna hear it.
What is it?
[on speaker] ♪ Crying in the parking lot ♪
-[Rodrigo screams] -[chuckles]
♪ You don't know what you want ♪
[Rodrigo] Sad Olivia! I was so sad!
♪ Gave you everything ♪
-♪ I guess everything ain't enough ♪ -[Rodrigo] Aw!
♪ You say you lost your best friend How do you think I feel? ♪
♪ You say it's over again And this time it's real ♪
-[song ends] -[Nigro] Oh!
[Rodrigo] Oh, my God. I was so sad. You don't know--
I was so sad when I wrote that song.
-Oh, my God. -You were sad.
I remember that day. I was so **** sad.
-Really? -Yeah.
-Wow. Interesting. -It was a long time ago.
It was a long-- It was almost a year ago.
-I know. -It's crazy.
-And I'm still not over it. Geez. -[Nigro laughs]
[Rodrigo] This relationship was definitely like the heartbreak that kept on giving.
[laughs] It was like I was in the situation where I had to see him.
He was with someone else, which was… [scoffs] …like, devastating to me.
Felt like my world was ending almost every day.
Nobody understood how I was feeling or related to it.
And so I think by writing songs about exactly how I felt,
I was creating, like, a friend for me.
"jealousy, jealousy" was the second song I wrote for the album.
And I remember writing it in a time
where I was just so obsessed with social media in a very negative way,
and I hated the way it made me feel.
And I always felt misrepresented.
It's hard because it's, like--
Definitely will make you think about how you wanna be perceived all the time.
You want people to look at you for your talent and skill,
and you're also, you know, 18.
I want people to think I'm, like, pretty and cool… [chuckles]
…and funny or whatever.
If you find yourself thinking about that too much,
I think you get so disillusioned from real life
and nothing good can come of that.
["jealousy, jealousy" playing]
♪ I kinda wanna throw my phone Across the room ♪
♪ 'Cause all I see are girls Too good to be true ♪
♪ With paper-white teeth And perfect bodies ♪
♪ Wish I didn't care ♪
♪ I know their beauty's not my lack ♪
♪ But it feels like that weight Is on my back ♪
♪ And I can't let it go ♪
♪ Co-comparison Is killing me slowly ♪
♪ I think I think too much ♪
♪ 'Bout kids who don't know me ♪
♪ I'm so sick of myself ♪
♪ I'd rather be, rather be Anyone, anyone else ♪
♪ My jealousy, jealousy Started following me ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
-♪ Started following me ♪ -♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ And I see everyone Getting all the things I want ♪
♪ And I'm happy for them But then again I'm not ♪
♪ Just cool vintage clothes And vacation photos ♪
♪ I can't stand it God, I sound crazy ♪
♪ Their win is not my loss ♪
♪ Yeah, I know it's true But I can't help getting caught ♪
♪ Up in it all, yeah ♪
♪ Co-comparison Is killing me slowly ♪
♪ I think I think too much ♪
♪ 'Bout kids who don't know me ♪
♪ And I'm so sick of myself ♪
♪ I'd rather be, rather be Anyone, anyone else ♪
♪ My jealousy, jealousy ♪
♪ All your friends are so cool ♪
♪ You go out every night In your daddy's nice car ♪
♪ Yeah, you're living the life ♪
♪ Got a pretty face A pretty boyfriend too ♪
♪ I wanna be you so bad And I don't even know you ♪
♪ All I see is what I should be ♪
♪ Happier, prettier, jealousy, jealousy ♪
♪ All I see is what I should be ♪
♪ I'm losing it All I get's jealousy, jealousy ♪
♪ Co-comparison Is killing me slowly ♪
♪ I think I think too much ♪
♪ 'Bout kids who don't know me ♪
♪ And I'm so sick of myself ♪
♪ Rather be, rather be Anyone, anyone else ♪
♪ Jealousy, jealousy ♪
♪ Oh, I'm so sick of myself ♪
♪ I'd rather be, rather be Anyone, anyone else ♪
♪ Jealousy, jealousy Started following me ♪
[song ends]
["1 step forward, 3 steps back" playing]
♪ I called you on the phone today ♪
♪ Just to ask you how you were ♪
♪ All I did was speak normally ♪
♪ Somehow I still struck a nerve ♪
♪ You got me **** up in the head, boy ♪
♪ Never doubted myself so much ♪
♪ Am I pretty, am I fun, boy? ♪
♪ I hate that I give you power Over that stuff ♪
♪ 'Cause it's always one step forward And three steps back ♪
♪ I'm the love of your life Until I make you mad ♪
♪ Yeah, it's one step forward And three steps back ♪
I'm hitting all the wrong keys.
[on phone] ♪ I'm an angel and the devil But you're always a good man ♪
♪ Yeah, you're always the good man ♪
Those old lyrics. [laughs]
I-- I just wrote this song actually the day before this guy broke up with me.
[laughs] So I remember, like--
I remember not being able to listen to it for a while. [laughs]
[Rodrigo] "1 step forward, 3 steps back" I wrote it in the car
on my way to Salt Lake City with my mom. [chuckles]
I think loving someone who is so inconsistent is so challenging
and just really anxiety-inducing and makes you feel so insecure.
And it's a really tough thing to feel like you're walking on eggshells around someone
who you just want, you know, validation and love and support from.
You feel like you can never really settle into that feeling
of being, like, loved and accepted.
[guitar plays]
♪ 'Cause it's always one step forward And three steps back ♪
♪ I'm the love of your life Until I make you mad ♪
♪ It's always one step forward And three steps back ♪
♪ Do you love me, want me, hate me Boy, I don't understand ♪
♪ No, I don't understand ♪
♪ And maybe in some masochistic way ♪
♪ I kind of find it all exciting ♪
♪ Like, which lover will I get today? ♪
♪ Will you walk me to the door Or send me home crying? ♪
♪ It's always one step forward And three steps back ♪
♪ I'm the love of your life Until I make you mad ♪
♪ It's always one step forward And three steps back ♪
♪ Do you love me, want me, hate me Boy, I don't understand ♪
♪ No, it's back and forth Did I say something wrong? ♪
♪ It's back and forth Going over everything I said ♪
♪ It's back and forth Did I do something wrong? ♪
♪ It's back and forth Maybe this is all your fault instead ♪
♪ It's one step forward And three steps back ♪
♪ And I'd leave you ♪
♪ But the roller coaster's All I've ever had ♪
♪ It's always one step forward And three steps back ♪
♪ Do you love me, want me, hate me Boy, I don't understand ♪
♪ No, I don't understand ♪
[song ends]
July 13th, 2020.
"I got my driver's license today. A very highly anticipated achievement.
All my relatives called to congratulate me.
I realized part of the reason I wanted to get my license so bad
was because of this boy.
I always felt bad about being too young to drive over to see him,
too young to have any real freedom.
I thought he should be with a girl who had those liberties.
I feel his hold on me loosen more and more lately. That's a lovely feeling.
I'm still very much not able to fall for anyone else though.
I can't even fathom it at the moment."
I remember knowing that it might be something special,
if not to anyone else, just to me,
'cause I felt like that song just really captured devastation
in a way that I hadn't been able to capture before.
Second verse, it's the--
♪ Today I drove through the suburbs And pictured I was driving home to you ♪
And that line can very literally be, like,
I was driving home, like, to your house or whatever.
But I remember at that time I was really, like, reconciling with the fact
that sometimes, when you love a person so much
and you spend so much time with them,
like, that's who you feel the most at home with.
And I remember listening to that song, even when I hadn't put it out,
when I just had the demo on my phone, and I'd drive around and listen to it.
Every time it came on, my stomach would drop
just 'cause I felt like it was so…
like, so acutely, like, how I was feeling.
I think the worst part of being in love is having something to lose.
Oh, that's a great answer.
-I-- I feel that way all the time. -That's a great answer.
Even just in all aspects of my life, like, even with my career, I'm like,
"Oh, my God, I'm so grateful for all of these things happening."
But, like, when you have something that's so amazing,
like, it just feels kind of scary 'cause it's like,
"What happens if-- if that goes away?"
[Collier] How do you take something that happens in your life--
It could be really good or really intense.
And how do you transform that into something like a song?
I don't know. For me and, like, my style of songwriting and music is
sometimes it gets a little overwhelming.
I think that sometimes storytelling doesn't necessarily have to come
-from a place of devastation. -Yes.
Which is what I'm trying to tell myself for the rest of my career.
I'm terrified that since I'm not gonna be devastated for the rest of my life,
-I'm no longer gonna make a good album. -What's your inspiration?
-Yeah, exactly. -Yeah, yeah.
[Collier] I don't know if I've ever heard a song that really encapsulates that more
than "drivers license."
And it just feels like you're living that out.
[Rodrigo] Mmm. Thank you.
[Collier] In a good and painful way.
[keyboard playing]
♪ I got my driver's license last week Something we always talked about ♪
♪ 'Cause you were so excited for me To finally drive up to your house ♪
♪ But today I drove through the suburbs Crying 'cause you weren't around ♪
["drivers license" continues playing]
[Rodrigo] I think I'm still as innocent as I was when "drivers license" came out.
♪ Probably with that brunette girl ♪
♪ The one I always thought about ♪
I don't know. Maybe I-- Maybe I am, like, a little hardened now.
♪ She's so much older than me She's everything I'm insecure about ♪
I don't know. I think, like, to my core I'm still the same person.
I'm still sensitive and emotional and caring, hopefully.
So much has happened, making life completely different now.
It's, like, weird to think about.
♪ But I've never felt this way For no one ♪
But I think I'll always write songs.
I think it's, like, my form of expression
and my way of, you know, making sense of the world.
♪ Just tell me that you really meant ♪
♪ The words you wrote about me In that song ♪
[song ends]
-["drivers license" playing] -[Rodrigo] Okay. Here it is.
♪ And all my friends are tired Of hearing how much I miss you ♪
♪ I kinda feel sorry for them ♪
♪ 'Cause they'll never know you The way that I do ♪
♪ Yeah Today I drove through the suburbs ♪
♪ And pictured I was driving home to you ♪
♪ And I know we weren't perfect But I've never felt this way ♪
♪ For no one ♪
♪ And I just can't imagine How you could be so okay ♪
♪ Now that I'm gone ♪
♪ I guess you didn't mean What you wrote in that song about me ♪
♪ 'Cause you said forever Now I drive alone past your street ♪
♪ Red lights Stop signs ♪
♪ I still see your face ♪
♪ In the white cars ♪
♪ Front yards ♪
♪ Can't drive past the places ♪
♪ We used to Go to ♪
♪ 'Cause I still **** love you, babe ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
♪ Sidewalks We crossed ♪
♪ I still hear your voice ♪
♪ In the traffic We're laughing ♪
♪ Over all the noise ♪
♪ God, I'm so blue Know we're through ♪
♪ But I still **** love you, babe ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
[Rodrigo, crowd] ♪ And I know we weren't perfect ♪
♪ But I've never felt this way ♪
♪ For no one ♪
-[crowd cheers] -[Rodrigo] Sing it!
[crowd] ♪ And I just can't imagine How you could be so okay ♪
♪ Now that I'm gone ♪
[Rodrigo, crowd] ♪ I guess you didn't mean ♪
♪ What you wrote in that song about me ♪
♪ 'Cause you said forever Now I drive alone past your street ♪
[crowd cheers]
[Rodrigo, crowd] ♪ Yeah, you said forever ♪
♪ Now I drive alone past your street ♪
-[song ends] -[crowd cheers]
-[tape clicks] -[cheering fades]
[Rodrigo] The success of "drivers license" changed everything.
I went from performing it alone in my bedroom or in the studio with Dan
to performing it live in these super high- stakes environments for the first time.
It was very intense.
Having a big song like that, you put it out and you're also like,
"Oh, my God, this is amazing."
And then everyone's like, "What's next? Can you follow it up? What's coming next?"
And you're like, "Jesus, like… [chuckles] …I just did this.
Like, can-- can't this be enough?"
Did we talk about making an album? Did I run that by you?
-No. No, you didn't. -No?
You didn't talk to me about it. You just, like, literally--
I just was like, "I'm making an album. You wanna do it, Dan?"
It was just like, "Hey, we're going. We're making an album."
I remember you called me stressed out in Salt Lake City one day.
And you were just like, "You gotta come here now."
And I was like, "Oh, okay. All right. Let's go. Let's do it."
I probably made the call to my label that I wanted to make an album
like a week after "drivers license" came out.
I was like, "Oh, shoot. Like, there are gonna be so many more people
that are listening to this music than I initially thought.
And I really wanna put my best foot forward."
Made the call, and they were all, "I don't know about that."
But I was, like, so dead set and determined.
♪ So, when you gonna tell her That we did that too? ♪
♪ She thinks it's special ♪
♪ But it's all reused ♪
♪ That was our place I found it first ♪
♪ I made the jokes You tell to her ♪
♪ When she's with you Do you get déjà vu? ♪
In this album, and in "deja vu" in particular,
I'm, like, very obsessed and, like, weirded out
with the idea of all relationships just being so recycled.
'Cause I think I was just learning about relationships and love for the first time.
And I was, "Wait, none of it is special.
Like, it happens over and over and over."
When Dan and I wrote "deja vu" together,
we really wanted to write a song that was really vivid and specific.
And I think "deja vu" really accomplishes that.
Especially in the verses. Really paints a picture.
And I think specificity and also authenticity
are my two favorite things that a song can have.
And I learned that from country music, I think.
I think country music songs are always very specific and authentic,
and I think that's why they're so heartbreaking sometimes.
If I write a song and it doesn't have those things,
I generally don't really love it.
I, to be completely honest,
did not wanna put this song out after "drivers license."
I remember thinking it was a bad song,
and I didn't like it, and no one's going to like it.
And I remember, like, calling my manager like three, four days
before we announced "deja vu" was coming out and being like,
"Pull the plug. I don't want to do it. I can't do it. I hate it."
I like the song now,
but "drivers license" was obviously so well received.
The thought of coming out with another song, that was fairly scary.
"deja vu" was a completely different song than "drivers license" too,
in every single way.
There was so much drama that was around "drivers license" and so much hate.
I, like, thought if I put this song out,
then I was also, like, playing into this, like, drama, love triangle,
like, "let's hate on other girls" thing, and I just did not wanna do that.
And that was-- I never write any of my songs from that point of view
'cause that's not something that I feel.
I feel like I've given so many notes. It's just the same notes.
Just in my head about it. I'm just always gonna find things.
I need to pull the trigger and do it.
[Morris on phone] If it makes you feel any better, I am the same way.
-Yeah. -Every time I listen to "drivers license,"
-I'm like, "No, I should have done this!" -[Rodrigo chuckles]
Blah, blah, blah. But it's the biggest **** song in the world.
-Yeah. -Everybody loves it,
and nobody hears anything wrong with it.
-Yeah. -So…
Yes.
["deja vu" playing]
♪ Car rides to Malibu ♪
♪ Strawberry ice cream ♪
♪ One spoon for two ♪
♪ And trading jackets ♪
♪ Laughing 'bout How small it looks on you ♪
[backing singers] ♪ Ha-ha-ha-ha Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha ♪
♪ Watching reruns of Glee ♪
♪ Being annoying ♪
♪ Singing in harmony ♪
♪ I bet she's bragging ♪
♪ To all her friends Saying you're so unique ♪
♪ So when you gonna tell her That we did that too? ♪
♪ She thinks it's special But it's all reused ♪
♪ That was our place I found it first ♪
♪ I made the jokes You tell to her ♪
♪ When she's with you Do you get déjà vu? ♪
♪ Oh ♪
♪ Do you get déjà vu? Oh ♪
♪ Do you call her And almost say my name ♪
♪ 'Cause let's be honest We kinda do sound the same ♪
♪ Another actress ♪
♪ Well, I hate to think That I was just your type ♪
♪ And I'll bet that she knows Billy Joel 'Cause you played her "Uptown Girl" ♪
♪ You're singing it together now ♪
♪ I bet you even tell her how You love her ♪
♪ In between the chorus and the verse ♪
♪ So when you gonna tell her That we did that too? ♪
♪ She thinks it's special But it's all reused ♪
♪ That was the show We talked about ♪
♪ Played you the song She's singing now ♪
♪ When she's with you Do you get déjà vu? ♪
♪ Oh ♪
♪ Do you get déjà vu? ♪
[on radio] ♪ Strawberry ice cream in Malibu ♪
♪ Don't act like We didn't do that shit too ♪
♪ You're trading jackets Like we used to do ♪
♪ Yeah, everything is all reused ♪
♪ Play her piano, but she doesn't know ♪
♪ That I was the one Who taught you Billy Joel ♪
♪ It's a different girl now But there's nothing new ♪
♪ I know you get déjà vu ♪
-[car turns off] -[song ends]
I was thinking a lot about this idea of, in order to get over a heartbreak,
I think you have to forgive that person who caused you pain,
but I think also a big part of it is forgiving yourself.
I found this little poem that I wrote in my Notes app on my phone.
"I know that I loved you so bad, I let you treat me like that."
I really liked that. I thought it grabbed you.
So we made it the first line of the song.
[Nigro] I think you need to try that.
♪ Oh, look-- ♪
♪ Look what we be-- ♪
♪ Look what we be-- Oh, look what we be-- ♪
Okay. Let's do it. Okay.
[Nigro] A little more angsty!
-I can do that. -Get mad!
You're angry right now.
-There is a crime that has been committed… -[Rodrigo chuckles]
…and you're happy and you're sad about it.
There's so many confusing feelings.
I really like the lyric "One heart broke, four hands bloody."
Having the blame be on two people.
You know, heartbreak is a two-way street. You couldn't have gotten your heart broken
if you didn't put yourself in the position to be hurt.
I think writing this song sort of helped me forgive myself.
[a cappella] ♪ Know that I loved you so bad ♪
♪ I let you treat me like that ♪
♪ I was your willing accomplice, honey ♪
♪ I watched as you fled the scene ♪
♪ Doe-eyed as you buried me ♪
♪ One heart broke, four hands bloody ♪
-♪ Oh, the things I did ♪ -[electric guitar plays]
♪ Just so I could call you mine ♪
♪ The things you did ♪
♪ Well, I hope I was your favorite crime ♪
♪ Used me as an alibi ♪
♪ I crossed my heart As you crossed the line ♪
♪ And I defended you to all my friends ♪
♪ And now every time a siren sounds ♪
♪ I wonder if you're around ♪
♪ 'Cause you know That I'd do it all again ♪
♪ Oh, the things I did ♪
♪ Just so I could call you mine ♪
♪ The things you did ♪
♪ Well, I hope I was your favorite crime ♪
♪ And it's bittersweet To think about the damage that we'd do ♪
♪ 'Cause I was going down But I was doing it with you ♪
♪ Yeah, everything we broke And all the trouble that we made ♪
♪ But I say that I hate you With a smile on my face ♪
♪ Oh, look what we became ♪
♪ Oh, the things I did ♪
♪ Just so I could call you mine ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Oh, the things you did ♪
♪ Well, I hope I was your favorite crime ♪
♪ Your favorite crime ♪
♪ 'Cause baby you were mine ♪
[guitar fades]
[car approaching]
[Rodrigo] "good 4 u" is another song that I wrote sort of on a whim.
I love how this song expresses anger and pettiness
in a way that's more funny and tongue-in-cheek
rather than, like, aggressive and mean.
I actually think it's more impactful without the stuff on that.
[Nigro] So take it out?
♪ You will never have to hurt The way you know that I do ♪
-I think it's better without. -Can you do that again?
♪ Way you know that I do ♪
-[Nigro chuckles] -That one.
-[Rodrigo] Did that help? -[Nigro] Yes, it helped.
[Rodrigo] Um, I think it's more impactful without that stuff on there.
[on speaker] ♪ You will never have to hurt The way you know that I do ♪
[Nigro] Even the lower one in there? The little demon that I have going.
-I don't like it. Take the demon out. -You don't like the demon?
[distorted] ♪ Well, screw that and screw you ♪
♪ You will never have to hurt The way you know that I do ♪
-[chuckles] Need to have it. -I love that. That's the song.
-We have Satan in the song, you know? -Just take it out.
At least let me hear it.
["good 4 u" playing]
[Rodrigo] ♪ Well, good for you I guess you moved on really easily ♪
♪ You found a new girl And it only took a couple weeks ♪
♪ Remember when you said That you wanted to give me the world ♪
♪ And good for you, I guess That you've been working on yourself ♪
♪ I guess that therapist I found for you, she really helped ♪
♪ Now you can be a better man For your brand-new girl ♪
♪ Good for you You look happy and healthy, not me ♪
♪ If you ever cared to ask ♪
♪ Good for you ♪
♪ You're doing great out there Without me, baby ♪
♪ God, I wish that I could do that ♪
♪ I've lost my mind I've spent the night ♪
♪ Crying on the floor of my bathroom ♪
♪ You're so unaffected I really don't get it ♪
♪ But I guess good for you ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ And good for you ♪
♪ I guess you're getting Everything you want ♪
♪ You bought a new car And your career's really taking off ♪
♪ It's like we never even happened, baby ♪
♪ What the **** is up with that? ♪
♪ And good for you It's like you never even met me ♪
♪ Remember when you swore to God I was the only ♪
♪ Person who ever got you? ♪
♪ Well, screw that and screw you ♪
♪ You will never have to hurt The way you know that I do ♪
♪ Well, good for you You look happy and healthy, not me ♪
♪ If you ever cared to ask ♪
♪ Good for you ♪
♪ You're doing great out there Without me, baby ♪
♪ God, I wish that I could do that ♪
♪ I've lost my mind I've spent the night ♪
♪ Crying on the floor of my bathroom ♪
♪ You're so unaffected I really don't get it ♪
♪ But I guess good for you ♪
♪ Maybe I'm too emotional ♪
♪ Your apathy's like a wound in salt ♪
♪ Maybe I'm too emotional ♪
♪ Or maybe you never cared at all ♪
♪ Maybe I'm too emotional ♪
♪ Your apathy's like a wound in salt ♪
♪ Maybe I'm too emotional ♪
♪ Or maybe you never cared at all ♪
♪ Well, good for you ♪
♪ You look happy and healthy, not me ♪
♪ If you ever cared to ask ♪
♪ Good for you ♪
♪ You're doing great out there Without me ♪
♪ Like a damn sociopath ♪
♪ I've lost my mind I've spent the night ♪
♪ Crying on the floor of my bathroom ♪
♪ You're so unaffected I really don't get it ♪
♪ But I guess good for you ♪
♪ Well, good for you I guess you moved on really easily ♪
[song ends]
[Rodrigo] I was thinking about how I wrote "enough for you,"
and I actually wrote it on my bedroom floor in Salt Lake City,
looking into a full-length mirror.
Like, I was on my guitar, playing to myself in the mirror,
which I think is really funny considering, like, the themes of the song.
I just think, at the time,
I was just feeling this soul-crushing inferiority.
An inferiority that I think only occurs
when you, like, are really deeply in love with someone.
And, you know, feeling like you aren't good enough for someone
who is your absolute world is, like, so, so crushing.
But I really like how the song sort of starts
in this really self-deprecating place,
and sort of becomes a little more hopeful at the end.
♪ 'Cause all I ever wanted Was to be enough ♪
♪ But I don't think anything Could ever be enough ♪
♪ For you ♪
♪ Enough for you ♪
[vocalizes]
♪ No, nothing's enough for you ♪
-[whimpers] -What's wrong?
I'm so sad about it. I don't know.
[clears throat] You don't like this either?
-I don't know. -What don't you like about it?
'Cause it's just like every other song I have on the record,
just different words.
Okay. You want it to be electric guitar?
[Rodrigo chuckles]
Is that gonna help?
I don't know.
Okay.
That was, like, towards, like, the end of the album making process.
And I just remember listening to that song and being like,
"Everything's wrong with this song."
And I love the song and the lyrics and the melody,
but I just remember like,
"The guitar is not right. It's out of tempo.
I don't like it. I can't sing it well. Like, dah, dah, dah."
There's so many issues with it in my head.
[Rodrigo] I don't know. I just wish some of the bits were more emotional.
I feel like if you're not closely paying attention to the lyrics,
you, like, wouldn't understand, like, what was going on.
[Nigro] I think you're overthinking that like crazy.
-[Morris] I agree. It's so emotional. -[Nigro] Like crazy.
[person] It really is.
[Morris] It's so emotional. It literally, like, breaks me every time I hear it.
[Rodrigo chuckles]
Being a child actor,
where you're constantly told everything you do is amazing,
you did the bare minimum and they're like, "Oh, you're a star."
And I was always, like, really disillusioned by that
from a very young age.
I was like, "They're just gonna tell me whatever."
And so, I kind of, like, went to the other side of the spectrum,
and started thinking that everything that I did was really bad.
And started being, like, my own critic and being like,
"No, you can always do better. Always do better."
Never accepted when anyone told me that I did a good job.
I remember really gravitating towards my dad in that time
'cause he was the only person who I felt, like, would tell me the truth,
and that was really hard for me to grapple with at a young age,
feeling like you couldn't trust anyone
and no one was gonna tell you if you were messing up.
I also think Dan is like that for me too.
Dan's very much someone in my life
who will be, like, unabashedly like,
"No, you shouldn't do that. I wouldn't do that if I were you."
Which I, like, really appreciate,
'cause not a lot of people care enough to be honest with people.
You know what I mean?
I think there's a certain level of care and kindness
that goes with having the courage to, like, help someone like that.
["enough for you" playing]
♪ I wore makeup when we dated 'Cause I thought you'd like me more ♪
♪ If I looked like the other prom queens I know that you loved before ♪
♪ Tried so hard to be Everything that you liked ♪
♪ Just for you to say You're not the compliment type ♪
♪ And I knew how you took your coffee And your favorite songs by heart ♪
♪ I read all of your self-help books So you'd think that I was smart ♪
♪ Stupid, emotional, obsessive little me ♪
♪ I knew from the start This is exactly how you'd leave ♪
♪ You found someone more exciting The next second you were gone ♪
♪ And you left me there crying Wondering what I did wrong ♪
♪ And you always say I'm never satisfied But I don't think that's true ♪
♪ 'Cause all I ever wanted Was to be enough for you ♪
♪ Yeah, all I ever wanted Was to be enough for you ♪
♪ And maybe I'm just not as interesting As the girls you had before ♪
♪ But God, you couldn't have cared less About someone who loved you more ♪
♪ I'd say you broke my heart But you broke much more than that ♪
♪ Now I don't want your sympathy I just want myself back ♪
♪ Before you found someone more exciting The next second you were gone ♪
♪ And you left me there crying Wondering what I did wrong ♪
♪ And you always say I'm never satisfied But I don't think that's true ♪
♪ 'Cause all I ever wanted Was to be enough ♪
♪ And don't you think I loved you too much To be used and discarded? ♪
♪ Don't you think I loved you too much To think I deserve nothing? ♪
♪ But don't tell me you're sorry, boy Feel sorry for yourself ♪
♪ 'Cause someday I'll be everything To somebody else ♪
♪ They'll think that I am so exciting ♪
♪ Then you'll be the one who's crying ♪
♪ Yeah You always say I'm never satisfied ♪
♪ But I don't think that's true ♪
♪ You say I'm never satisfied But that's not me, it's you ♪
♪ 'Cause all I ever wanted Was to be enough ♪
♪ But I don't think anything Could ever be enough ♪
♪ For you ♪
♪ Enough for you ♪
[vocalizes]
♪ No, nothing's enough for you ♪
[song ends]
[gentle piano playing]
[Nigro] What's that?
[Rodrigo] No clue.
-[Rodrigo] You ready? -[Nigro] I think so.
♪ You betrayed me ♪
♪ And I know That you'll never feel sorry ♪
♪ For the way I hurt, yeah ♪
[both] ♪ You talked to her ♪
[Nigro] I think you're right. I don't like--
[Nigro sighs] There's gotta be…
♪ The way I hurt, yeah ♪
♪ You talked to her When we were together ♪
♪ Loved you at your worst But that didn't matter ♪
[laughs]
[Rodrigo] "traitor" is one of my favorite songs I've ever written, I think.
I really like the line,
"I guess you didn't cheat, but you're still a traitor."
'Cause I think it's a really concise way of expressing
that super painful feeling of betrayal that you get
when someone you knew so well moves on so quickly.
And I think that's the hardest part about being a songwriter sometimes,
is diving into those really painful emotions.
I think you can never lie to yourself when you're writing a song.
At least, it's hard for me.
[engine stops]
[pedal clicks]
-["traitor" playing] -[piano plays]
-[pedal clicks] -[piano loops]
[clicks]
-[beat thumps] -[piano loops]
-[clicks] -[piano, beat loop]
[guitar strums]
-[pedal clicks] -[piano, beat, guitar loop]
[pedal clicks]
[vocalizes]
-[pedal clicks] -[piano, beat, guitar, vocals loop]
[clicks]
[guitar melody plays]
-[clicks] -[all parts loop]
♪ Brown, guilty eyes And little white lies, yeah ♪
♪ I played dumb, but I always knew ♪
♪ That you talked to her maybe Did even worse ♪
♪ I kept quiet so I could keep you ♪
♪ And ain't it funny ♪
♪ How you ran to her The second that we called it quits? ♪
♪ Ain't it funny ♪
♪ How you said you were friends? Now it sure as hell don't look like it ♪
♪ You betrayed me ♪
♪ And I know that You'll never feel sorry ♪
♪ For the way I hurt, yeah ♪
♪ You talked to her When we were together ♪
♪ Loved you at your worst But that didn't matter ♪
♪ It took you two weeks To go off and date her ♪
♪ Guess you didn't cheat But you're still a traitor ♪
[vocalizes]
♪ God, I wish that you Had thought this through ♪
♪ Before I went and fell In love with you ♪
♪ Oh ♪
♪ And when she's sleeping In the bed we made ♪
♪ Don't you dare forget about the way ♪
♪ You betrayed me ♪
♪ 'Cause I know that You'll never feel sorry ♪
♪ For the way I hurt, yeah ♪
♪ You talked to her When we were together ♪
♪ You gave me your word But that didn't matter ♪
♪ It took you two weeks To go off and date her ♪
♪ Guess you didn't cheat But you're still ♪
♪ You're still a traitor ♪
♪ Yeah, you're still a traitor ♪
[vocalizes]
♪ God, I wish that you Had thought this through ♪
♪ Before I went and fell In love with you ♪
[song ends]
So Dan and I are just, like, losing our minds. And…
-[both laugh] -[person on phone] About what?
And we wanna put one more upbeat song on the record.
Hold on, hold on, hold on. This is not a "we" conversation.
I wanna put one more upbeat--
Olivia wants one more upbeat song on the record.
And we can't choose which song.
[person] What do you mean?
Like, we've been just going through songs that are on my Voice Memos.
What's it like when you have five days to choose a track listing,
and you change your mind every day?
I'm not changing my mind every day! I've always wanted one more upbeat song!
[piano playing]
[Rodrigo singing] ♪ I got my driver's license ♪
Is it B or is it…
[piano plays lower key]
-♪ Driver's license-- ♪ -No, it's B-flat.
-[Rodrigo] Yeah, it's B-flat. -Ah, Okay.
Should we-- We should write a song. We could write a song today.
-[Nigro] In what? In… -In G-sharp minor.
-[guitar strumming] -[Rodrigo sings indistinctly]
-[Rodrigo] What's that? -I don't know.
It's cool.
-[Rodrigo hums] -[Nigro] Oh.
-[Rodrigo] What? So good. -I'm gonna record it so I don't forget it.
So good.
[Rodrigo singing indistinctly]
♪ Well, I I wanna cry now ♪
So good, Dan. I love it.
[singing indistinctly]
♪ Na na, na na Tell me so ♪
[both sing]
[Nigro] Then right here you got… [sings falsetto]
[both sing]
[Rodrigo sings indistinctly]
-[Nigro] Pretty fun. -I love that.
[Rodrigo] It'd be cool to have a song called "brutal."
And I was like, "What if the hook is like--"
Like the verses are like, [vocalizes] "People are mean, world is cruel."
And then, like, the hook--
The thing is like, "God, it's brutal out here."
-I like that. "It's brutal out here." -You like that? Yeah.
It's, like, punky.
Sure. I like that. I actually do like that.
-Okay. -I like that. I like that.
God, it's brutal out here.
Um.
"brutal," um, take 1. And the only take.
We wrote this yesterday.
[Nigro] All right. Do you have latency or are you good?
-I'm so-- I don't-- I can't hear it. -You can't hear-- Oh, right, because…
Try now.
♪ I'm so insecure I think That I'll die before I drink ♪
-Good. -Is that cool?
I'm just gonna eat the shit out of the mic.
-Eat the shit out of it. -[headphones: music plays]
It's four, right?
-Four times. Give it to me. Three. Nine! -[laughs]
♪ I'm so insecure I think That I'll die before I drink ♪
♪ I'm so caught up in the news Of who likes me and who hates you ♪
♪ I'm so tired that I might Quit my job, start a new life ♪
♪ And they'd all be so disappointed 'Cause I'm the girl that they exploited ♪
♪ And I'm so sick of 17 Where's my **** teenage dream? ♪
♪ If someone tells me one more time Enjoy your youth, I'm gonna cry ♪
♪ And I wish I was someone else I'm anxious and no one can help ♪
♪ And I wish I'd done this before And I wish people liked me more ♪
It's such a good song, Dan. I'm so glad--
-I'm so glad we made this just on a whim. -[laughs]
Why not? Have fun, right?
-Yeah. -Is that what we're here for?
-Yeah. -No, there's no fun in making music ever.
None. Especially our music.
-It's very serious. -[Rodrigo groans] Depressing.
[Rodrigo] I remember just feeling kind of trapped
and kind of, like, flung into this situation that I wasn't prepared for.
It was very, like, overnight.
Like, all of a sudden, everyone's watching you,
and I'm like, "Oh, my God. Did I actually ever want this?"
It's, like, the big question.
And I remember, like, loving the "Who am I if not exploited?" line.
And I felt so-- I felt so angsty about it when I, like, wrote it.
And I was like, "Yes, it's exactly what I want to say."
That, like, period of my life was very strange.
And I remember feeling, like, lonely.
And I remember wanting a boyfriend very bad.
And I remember that was, like, during a time
where I, like, kind of looked through,
like, what people said about me, like, online or in print.
And I'm still reeling from this heartbreak
and all of the drama that went all around it.
We were finishing up the album.
So much stuff was happening.
Just, like, everything was coming to a head.
-[instrumental music playing] -[bells ding]
["brutal" playing]
♪ I'm so insecure I think That I'll die before I drink ♪
♪ I'm so caught up in the news Of who likes me and who hates you ♪
♪ And I'm so tired that I might Quit my job, start a new life ♪
♪ And they'd all be so disappointed 'Cause who am I if not exploited? ♪
♪ I'm so sick of 17 Where's my **** teenage dream? ♪
♪ If someone tells me one more time Enjoy your youth, I'm gonna cry ♪
♪ And I don't stick up for myself I'm anxious and nothing can help ♪
♪ And I wish I'd done this before And I wish people liked me more ♪
♪ All I did was try my best This the kinda thanks I get ♪
♪ Unrelentlessly upset ♪
[backing singers] ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ They say these are the golden years But I wish I could disappear ♪
♪ Ego crush is so severe ♪
♪ God, it's brutal out here ♪
♪ I feel like no one wants me And I hate the way I'm perceived ♪
♪ I only have two real friends And lately I'm a nervous wreck ♪
♪ 'Cause I love people I don't like And I hate every song I write ♪
♪ And I'm not cool, and I'm not smart And I can't even parallel park ♪
♪ All I did was try my best This the kinda thanks I get ♪
♪ Unrelentlessly upset ♪
[backing singers] ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ They say these are the golden years But I wish I could disappear ♪
♪ Ego crush is so severe ♪
♪ God, it's brutal out here ♪
[guitar solo]
♪ Got a broken ego, broken heart ♪
♪ And God, I don't even know where ♪
♪ To start ♪
[song ends]
[Rodrigo] "hope ur ok" was the last song I finished on the album.
I really wanted to write a folksy, singer-songwritery, storytelling song
that ended the album on a hopeful note.
I think even in the midst of all the heartbreak and pain
that I was talking about in the album,
there's so much hope that goes along with ending a relationship
and starting a new chapter.
Some of my favorite lyrics are in that song.
I really like the, "I hope he took his bad deal and made a royal flush."
I was writing that song in my bedroom or living room or something.
I remember going into the other room where my dad was, and I was like,
"Hey, Dad. What's the best card hand that you can have?"
He goes, "Royal flush." I'm like, "Perfect. That rhymes with something."
I go back in and, like, put it in the song.
[Rodrigo] What do you think about the track listing?
[Nigro laughs] Let's get this in. We'll talk about it later.
-I have lots of thoughts. -Okay.
[Nigro] But let's make some, let's make some steps.
I just-- I just want, um, "brutal" to be the first track.
-You really do? -I really do.
[Nigro sighs] Then I have my work cut out for me this weekend.
I know.
[Nigro coughs]
Wait. Sorry. I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready.
Okay. I'm ready.
♪ And when the clouds won't iron out And the monsters creep into your house ♪
♪ And every door is hard to close ♪
♪ Well, I hope you know ♪
[recording plays]
[Nigro] Cool. I think-- Cool. That's good. That's great.
I have a co-- Do like two takes, and then I have some thoughts.
All right.
I want you to get used to singing it on the mic.
Do you want the click louder? Are you fine with--
-Can I have my voice louder? -Your voice louder?
Yeah. I'm a narcissist.
Hold on.
[speakers: "hope ur ok" instrumentals playing]
[song ends]
-I think we might have done it, Dan! -Yeah?
Should I print it?
-Yeah. -Yeah. You feel good about it?
I'm gonna cry!
[Nigro laughs]
-I'm gonna cry. -What-- What a sad time. What a sad time.
-It's so weird. -[Nigro chuckles]
It's so weird. Literally a year of my life spent in this studio.
[Nigro] I know. Nothing will ever be the same.
No. Hopefully not.
Hopefully it won't be so sad in the next **** record.
[Nigro chuckling] It's like-- it's a bittersweet feeling.
[Rodrigo chuckles] I know. So bittersweet.
It's definitely, like, the-last-day-of-school feeling.
Coming from this place of hurt and devastation,
and you manage to turn it into something that you're proud of
and something that other people can enjoy,
and something that brings acceptance and, like, light and joy into the world,
there's, like, nothing better than that.
And there's, like, not a day that, like, goes by
that I'm not grateful for that opportunity
and so proud of myself that I, like, did that too.
I've grown, like, five years' worth… [chuckles] …in, like, one year.
I think I'm so much of a different person in a good way.
I think I had to learn how to have, like, thick skin and how to stand up for myself.
And I think I just wanted to tell people what was going on
in the depths of my heart and in the back of my head
in a way that was proud.
I think there's something so powerful about that, especially as a young woman.
[engine stops]
["hope ur ok" playing]
♪ I knew a boy once when I was small A towhead blond with eyes of salt ♪
♪ He played the drum In the marching band ♪
♪ His parents cared more about the Bible Than being good to their own child ♪
♪ He wore long sleeves 'cause of his dad ♪
♪ And somehow we fell out of touch ♪
♪ Hope he took his bad deal And made a royal flush ♪
♪ Don't know if I'll see You again someday ♪
♪ But if you're out there ♪
♪ I hope that you're okay ♪
♪ My middle school friend grew up alone She raised her brothers on her own ♪
♪ Her parents hated who she loved ♪
♪ She couldn't wait to go to college ♪
♪ She was tired 'Cause she was brought into ♪
♪ A world where family was merely blood ♪
♪ Does she know how proud I am She was created ♪
♪ With the courage to unlearn All of their hatred? ♪
♪ We don't talk much But I just gotta say ♪
♪ I miss you ♪
♪ And I hope that you're okay ♪
♪ Address the letters To the holes in my butterfly wings ♪
♪ Nothing's forever Nothing's as good as it seems ♪
♪ And when the clouds won't iron out And the monsters creep into your house ♪
♪ And every door is hard to close ♪
♪ Well I hope you know how proud I am You were created ♪
♪ With the courage to unlearn All of their hatred ♪
♪ And God, I hope That you're happier today ♪
♪ 'Cause I love you ♪
♪ And I hope that you're okay ♪
[music continuing]
♪ I hope that you're okay ♪
[music continues]
[song ends]
[Rodrigo] ♪ I know you're with somebody new ♪
♪ But I can't write a song That's not all about you ♪
♪ It's not fair, baby ♪
♪ How come it's so easy ♪
♪ For you to forget everything you said? ♪
♪ Like how I was the best girl That you'd ever met ♪
♪ Guess you take it back ♪
♪ Should've expected that ♪
♪ But when I say I'm fine I'm lying really well ♪
♪ 'Cause I can't love anyone else ♪
♪ And I'm so jealous that you can ♪
♪ Scared I'll never feel that again ♪
♪ 'Cause I still can't Call anyone "baby" ♪
♪ 'Cause "baby" is still you to me ♪
♪ Don't you think I wanna move on too? ♪
♪ But I can't love anyone the way The way I loved you ♪
[song ends]