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The targets name is Hector Velasco.
Lieutenant Briggs,
you are authorized to take them out by any means necessary.
About time we got some action in here.
I was starting to get bored.
The other 2 squads are a Texas Rangers joint task force.
Sergeant Jax Maxwell will be in charge of team 2.
We've got your back Lieutenant.
My men are well trained and this ain't our first rodeo.
Sergeant Maxwell and I have formed a trusting relationship over the years.
He won't let you down.
What every you need, we got you covered.
Team 3 is lead by Sergeant Tyler Stevens.
We've been surveilling this compound for a few weeks now.
We know every square inch of that place.
Get this right,
and you'll have many more opportunities like this one.
Opportunites like what?
Director Johnson, what do I owe this pleasure to?
I see you're doing the uh,
Velasco raid tonight.
Yes, we just concluded our briefing.
These are my squad leaders who are entering the compound this evening.
Look Sully,
Just don't fuck this up.
We've got a lot riding on this.
You know...
You keep making me look good,
maybe one of these days you'll be able to fill my shoes.
Yes sir, I understand.
Do whatever it takes to take this son of a bitch down.
I expect to be doing a press release first thing tomorrow,
where I can tell the world that I captured another Cartel leader.
You might have to get dirty on this one.
Well you got the right guy for the job.
Yeah well,
that remains to be seen.
Carry on.
I've got your full release, you fucking prick.
Alright ladies and gentlemen, you've got your orders.
Dismissed.
Good evening ladies and Gentlemen.
Welcome to flight 187 to Laredo.
Pucker up buttercups, ETA 30 minutes to rendezvous point.
Hold on to your tampons.
Damnit Roscoe!
Yee-haw!
There she is girls.
The Rio Grande.
But we gotta be quick,
the guards patrol about every hour.
What?
We're supposed to swim across that?
I can't swim that far!
I've got you covered.
We're supposed to go in this?
No, the drugs go into this.
But you hang on the outside and paddle.
It will keep your from drowning.
What?
Shirts, pants, and shoes in the bag.
We're ready.
Alright girls, we swim from here.
Hang onto the tube.
There you go.
Hang on.
Whatever you do girls,
don't let go.
If I go down stream, you don't get paid.
Stroke!
You see the bank over there?
No!
That's where we're going.
I don't see it!
It's there.
We're getting close.
I still see nothing!
Swim!
Amigo!
I started to think you weren't going to make it.
Have faith compadre, I always deliver.
Looks like you brought some friends,
are we gonna party later?
Let's just call them business associates.
And,
they brought a little present for Hector.
Hmm,
I bet they did.
Well,
Boss is expecting you.
Better not keep him waiting.
Let's get going.
Ladies?
Halto!
Que tienes?
It's cool they're with me.
Boss is expecting us.
You guys are late.
But we're here now.
Who's this?
Special deliveries, compliments of Guillermo.
You search them?
Nah.
You're paranoid man.
Turn around.
Arms up.
Legs out.
Knock yourself out.
Okay, he's clean.
What about you?
Hiding anything special under there?
Nope.
Okay, she's clean.
Come on, you're next.
Be gentle!
A little sensative are we?
You have no idea.
Okay, they're clean.
Go on through.
Boss is in the back.
Guillermo!
Mr. Velasco!
It looks like you had a safe trip huh.
Just another day over the river and through the woods.
Let's see what's in the bags.
I am very impressed with your shipment.
Nah.
That's with just 2 girls.
Imagine what I could do with 20.
Besides,
You haven't seen the best part yet.
Oh really?
What have you brought for me?
2 very special deliveries.
So far I'm liking what I am seeing.
Can't wait for you to show me more.
Ladies.
I want you to relax.
This should go quick
and easy.
Ooh...
Are you ready?
Do I have a choice?
What goes in must come out.
Oh I just hope nothing extra comes out.
Ooh,
Oh little daddy!
See!
That wasn't so bad.
And you took it like a trooper.
Alright ladies.
We're done here.
Get dressed.
That's it?
I thought there was gonna be more.
Where's my big fucking surprise?
Easy, just hold on a second.
Girls.
As promised.
Go on, get your packs.
Get out of here.
Now for your surprise.
Let's see what the Easter Egg reveal
has in store for us.
What do we have here?
Pure Fentanyl.
Nice!
People are buying those pills left and right off the street.
This...
Is one of the easier things to market bro.
Easy with that bro!
A speck of that will kill ya!
Adam 1 to Lincoln 2, what's your current status?
Lincoln 2, all units are in postion.
Over.
Captain Sully, looks like we have satellite uplink.
Activating thermal imaging feed.
Maintain your position,
and hold the perimeter.
It's good to finally meet theman that has been making me very rich.
We nearly doubled our sales in the past few months.
Thank you for allowing me to showcase my...
unique talents.
But I'm curious.
How do you get so much movement across the border
without any trouble?
It's easy.
I just use the back door.
I think you're cool damn white boy.
We're going to get very rich together man.
Oh yeah.
Lincold 2, neutralize hostiles and proceed to the main target area.
Copy that.
All teams are clear to engage the primary target on your mark.
Cut the power.
What the fuck was that?
I don't know boss, sounded like the breaker.
Escorpion,
go and check the panel.
Got it.
Get down on the ground!
Drop your weapons!
Get down on the ground!
Drop your weapons!
Clear!
Eat dick fucking pigs!
Get down on the ground!
Freeze motherfucker!
Get your hands on your head!
Get your knees!
Get down asshole!
Get down!
Hand on your head!
Okay Roscoe, take us down.
Hector Velasco,
you are under arrest
for the trafficking and sales
of illegal narcotics and weapons
into The United States of America.
Identification please.
Captain Richard Sully, Department of Homeland Security.
Ah, Captain Sully.
It's an honor to meet you.
Thank you sir.
Please, proceed.
Agent.
Jesus Christ, what a fucking mess.
1 1911 automatic pistol.
Gold plated hand grips.
These Cartels always have great taste.
Excellent work team, you should all be proud of yourselves.
Get him out of here.
Move it Velasco.
Get those cuffs off of him!
Yes sir!
May I?
Yeah, Yeah of course.
You really outdid yourself this time.
18 months in deep cover is no...
walk..
In the park!
No sir, it is not.
Well thanks to you Bill, your intel was spot on.
Everything was smooth.
Ah, Stevens...
Go round up the 2 girls.
They couldn't have gotten very far on foot.
Bring back the cash,
and make sure you put them in detention right after that.
Right away Captain.
Well it looks like you got quite a haul here Bill.
So what have we got?
We have 1.4 Million in cash.
Cool.
6 Killos of pure uncut cocain.
Good.
A couple pounds of Marijuana here,
another 50 pounds out back.
A few miscellaneous weapons.
Enough fentanyl to overdose the entire Agency.
Hey Bill.
What the hell is this?
Some kind of a drug they melted down to disguise to look like a Voodoo candle?
Strangely scented.
That sir...
is a butt plug.
Oh!
My senses told me that it might have been used in some type of
foul play.
I had it filled with fentanyl to make use of the uh...
extra space.
Oh good.
Good.
You could be up for promotion on this one.
Are you sure you won't reconcider your retirement,
and stay a little bit longer?
Nope.
I've put in my time.
I'm ready for the simple life.
Spend a little time with the family.
Yeah.
Maybe find a
log cabin up by a nice clear lake.
Mmm.
That does sound wonderful.
You know, I always thought I would be the first one to retire.
You know what?
I just can't seem to let all of this go.
It can be fulfilling.
I don't know what I would do without this job.
I mean, I just need something else.
Something to fill that void.
Sir.
You know, Margaret is ready for a change.
Sir.
She would like to spend more time together and...
oh and...
try new things.
Captain!
Yeah?
You're handling the evidence.
Huh?
Silly me!
Yeah, um...
How's that?
Tricky piece of machinery huh?
Okay.
Where was I?
Oh!
Hey, speaking of the back woods...
You know Bill, it's standard protocol
that we place agents on a
light duty assignment after receiving 2 week retirement notice?
What's that got to do with the back woods?
Don't hate me Bill,
But I'm putting in your transfer request tonight.
You'll be finishing your last 2 weeks...
in the FIRE unit.
FIRE?
That new Agency Donald started at the beginning of the year?
Yep!
The one and only.
You are an official member
of the Forrest and Immigration
Raking Enforcement.
You're fucking with me right?
Nope, you start tomorrow.
Hey, hey, hey, guys, I'll take care of these myself.
I'm gonna box these all up and...
I'm gonna put it in my unit.
And then I'm gonna take them and have them anal
uh,
analized.
Whatever you say Captain.
I'll see you all back at the station.
Good work team.
You guys take it from here.
Carry on!
Alright, so I'll take the cash in here,
you bag up the weed and the guns in your duffel
and bring them to Transport 3, and I'll take it from there.
Go home Bill, let these guys handle it.
Get some rest, you have a big day tomorrow!
Take care!
That evidence has not been properly bagged or tagged.
We'll take care of it later, don't worry about it!
Don't worry about it?
This is my bust.
I'm responsible
for the oversight of this evidence
and proper chain of custody.
Now...
Who is your commanding officer?
Let it be.
It ain't worth the trouble.
Alright pops, have at it.
Sweet dreams
poor motherfucker.
One
point
four
million
dollars.
I have a felling somebody's gonna come looking for you.
2 more weeks,
cabin in the woods.
Fuck this shit!
You know the great part about dummies?
What's that?
They don't punch back.
Oh yeah?
What do you know about fighting?
I thought you specialized in raking?
Really Trixie?
I know a few moves.
Hmm, you think you could take this?
All night long.
We'll see about that.
Let's see what you got old man.
Ladies first.
Alright,
you're fast.
Come on.
Looks like old man needs a knee replacement again huh?
I'm just warming up.
Uh huh.
Come on you little tramp let's go.
Need help up, old woman?
Oh hell no!
Are we done?
Not a chance.
No Paco, you have to keep it steady.
Smooth lines, straight.
This.
See watch, watch me.
Thrust,
rake.
Thrust,
rake.
Thrust,
rake.
Thrust it forward, pull it back.
Smooth strokes.
Thrust,
back.
Be one with the rake.
Yes stupid!
Thrust, rake.
Thrust.
It's like making whoopie to the forest.
Come on, faster!
Faster Paco!
Faster!
Look at them,
raking the forest.
Who do they think they are
stealing jobs from American citizens?
They're not stealing jobs,
they're doing work that nobody else here wants to do.
Work that needs to be done to keep our forests safe.
At least the Raking Work Visa Program gives them an opportunity to come here legally
Yeah,
raking in American dough.
Throwing it back over the wall to their compadres.
Financing human trafficking,
drugs,
and those damn delicious Takis you buy at the dollar store.
Should have made the wall 10 times bigger.
A lot of good that wall did.
One wall is not gonna stop millions of people from seeking a better life.
Maybe you're right.
But 2 walls,
that's sure to stop them.
And now that Donalds' in his 2nd term,
hopefully he'll build that 2nd wall like he promised.
2 walls?
And then what?
2 walls,
and in between them,
a giant mote.
And we'll fill it with...
What?
Liberal tears?
Melted snowflakes?
No.
Water stupid.
He'll build the biggest mote the world has ever seen.
It'll be huge.
By the time the illegals climb over the first wall,
Paco, we have to swim across!
Let's go!
Oh asshole, I'm not a good swimmer Jose!
And swim through the crocodile infested waters,
Paco!!!
Jose!!!
And get over to the 2nd wall,
they'll be too slippery and wet to climb it.
They'll lay there in exhaustion
too tired
and just give up.
Oh fuck...
Yeah, yeah.
2 walls.
I suppose he's gonna make Hillary pay for it right?
Damn straight she will.
As soon as the extradite her ass from California.
Damn sactuary state bullshit.
At least you're retiring soon.
You'll have better things to do with your time than worry about forests and immigrants.
Maybe you can move back to California?
Settle down on the coast?
There's no chance in hell I'm going back to Comi-fornia.
Why?
So that Governor Grohl
can take half of my retirement on the taxes he just raised?
There goes my hero.
He took my straws,
my knives,
my guns,
the urinals!
How do you ban a man from standing to take a leak?
What kind of man sits down to pee?
I won't do it.
I'll go out and piss right in front of my house.
So you would rather stand up to pee,
than stand up for bathroom gender equality?
I would rather stand in line and pay a $1.50 to eat my dick off a bun,
wash it down with 16 ounces of flat piss.
With free refills.
Damn I miss Costco.
Costco?
What's that?
The only place this side of the border
where you can buy beautiful bulk Takis by the big bag.
Less than 2 hours until the Purge,
you going out tonight?
No.
Family's coming over.
Having dinner.
Got to make sure everybody stays safe tonight.
How about you?
Uh...
Some friends of mine are coming over and picking me up.
You know, we've got a list of assholes we're gonna visit tonight.
So your house pretty secure?
Reinforced windows?
Security camers installed?
No...
Haven't got around to it yet.
Ha...
Nice!
Excuse me?
Uh...
I said look!
ICE!
End of the road friends!
Come on!
Out of the Van!
Let's go!
Let's go!!!
That means now, come on!
Come on!
Come on!!
I need you guys to go line up against that wall over there.
Come on!
Lets go.
Come on... come on... come on!!!
Let's go!
Ay... ya!!!!
Come on...
Line up against el wall-o.
Let' go.
I'm serious here.
I've got other places to be.
Let's go.
That's it.
Like that.
Spread your legs a little bit.
There we go.
Hurry up!
Come on.
There we go...
That's good.
Stay right there, I've gotta go get a ladder.
But I'll be right back.
I got your ladder!
You guys miss me?
You guys get to go home.
Now...
By executive order
of The United States of America
and to the Republic for which it stands,
I hereby am returning you to your nattive territory.
Now you all are gonna climb up this ladder
up over the wall and back to the country from which you came
and never return
so help me baby Jesus.
I'm gonna go talk to my colleagues over there...
Excuse me, companions...
And when I return,
Ya'll are gonna be vaminosed.
Understand?
Okay, let me try to...
Yo el turn-o-round-o...
and,
walk-o there-o.
You
take off
very fast!!!
Understand?
Yes.
Ah!!!! Very Excellent!!!
Thank you very much
for respecting my authorities.
Nice try ya'll,
but not on my watch...
It's a sign from God.
It's a ladder.
Hello.
What are you doing?
You're gonna get caught.
They're gonna deport you.
No.
There's nothing that can stop me now.
I've traveled over 4000 miles to fulfil my destiny.
Your desitiny?
Wait, who are you?
My name is Pedro Andreas Cavalera.
And since I was a young boy in Brazil, I prayed...
that one day...
I would come to America...
and dance on Broadway...
We came here looking for a better life.
I had a job...
A home...
But they keep sending us back.
Oh really?
The legal way just takes to long.
We wouldn't survive.
Then why are you just standing here?
Seize the moment and...
Never give up!
Follow your dreams.
See you later!!!
What are we waiting for?
Follow the rainbow!
Sounds like somebody's got a sweet ride.
You know what I'm saying? Two fingers.
Two fingers.
Evening Bill.
Aidan.
Hey Daryl.
Daryl.
How's it going?
Gum?
Got my own.
What's the good word Daryl?
Just another glorious day
protecting our sovereign nation
from those who would trespass against it.
Like those 2 yahoos...
Look at them...
Putos...
Standing around doing nothing laughing at us
while we work hard to become American citizens.
Callete Jose.
Don't look them in the eye.
They don't like it when you look them in the eye.
You doing anything tonight?
You know...
For the purge?
I'll probably just
stay home, watch some TV,
until everything is over.
I'm not very big on the whole murder, violence, hunting for sport thing.
I prefer catch and release.
Like when I go fishing.
You should stay at Bill's place.
You know,
safety in numbers.
You're more than welcome.
Just gonna have the family over,
have a few beers,
catch the Apprentice premiere.
Do you like Takis?
You sure Bill?
I don't wanna intrude.
No, no. Besides it's...
probably the only way you're gonna make it through the night.
I got tons of locks on my doors.
Plus bars on my windows.
That is some good information.
Thanks for that.
I'll take you up on it Bill.
You're more than welcome.
Even though you're...
ICE.
Ha!
Good one!
It's a good idea Daryl.
It'll save us a lot of time having you guys all in the same place.
Excuse me?
What'd you say boy?
Oh...
You guys would have fun together.
Do you think we're gonna like,
piss and cross streams or something?
No.
You guys are friendly.
Bro...
ICE...
ICE.
And FIRE.
They don't mix.
They do!
Yeah they do.
No.
It's like the Yin and the Yang.
FIRE...
ICE!
I'm just messing with you Bill.
I've seen the movie Ghost Busters.
Everybody knows
you don't cross streams.
Except for this guy apparently.
Okay.
So I'm into crossing streams...
What's the big deal?
It's 2025!
Whatever!
You millennial.
Fuckin millennials.
Hey!
Quit eyeballing me like you're trying to cross streams. Okay bro?
Which one's eyeballing you?
The one on the left.
Hey!
Quit looking at me!
Yeah...
That's me and your mom later.
Hey, take it easy on them guys.
What the hell's wrong with you?
He's fucking catch and release.
Oh, totally catch and release.
Their mothers are probably really nice people and make great tostadas.
Look Daryl,
just try to be at my place around 6:30.
Fine.
6:30 it is.
Don't be late!
Speaking of late...
Time to wrap it up.
Back to your home.
The hour of the Purge is upon us.
I heard you guys had a pretty big bust yesterday.
Oh yeah, what'd you hear?
Just that you caught a major Cartel leader.
Brought in a big haul of narcotics.
Scored a big chunk of change on top of that.
Like 1.4 million dollars or something?
Or something.
1.4 million.
I could live large off of that.
I bet you could.
Two more weeks.
All you gotta do is survive tonight and...
smooth sailing.
That's my plan.
Hey...
Take a right up here at the light.
I need to stop by the dollar store.
I'll be right back.
Come on.
Come get a bite.
Here.
How about you?
Come on.
I'm real sorry I have to do this to ya.
But needs must when the devil drives.
Come on, play nice!
Alright girls, you're in for the night.
Don't be breaking out.
It's all bad on this side of the fence.
Hope to see you in the morning.
Weren't you expecting a friend to show up here already?
He'll be along in a bit.
He'd better hurry up!
Don't wanna be caught passing through town before it's too late.
No worries.
We don't get many Purgers up this way.
Got a fence around the entire property.
Cars can't get through without a gate code.
Besides...
It's good for Halloween too.
None of those pesky trick or treaters.
True story.
I'll give him a call and make sure he didn't get fucking lost.
Come on stupid pump.
Why does it have to be so slow?
Hello?
Hey!
You still on your way?
Yeah.
I...
just stopped to get some gas real quick.
I'm just around the corner.
Only minutes left.
I'm trying to hurry but this...
pump is moving slower than a snail wiping it's ass I swear.
Move your ass bro.
Love you too, bye...
Come on stupid pump.
I hate everything about this god damn pump.
Come on...
No... come on.
Come on!!!
Hey yo!
You alright?
You need some help?
I don't speak English!
Let me give you a hand.
You know it's not safe to be here.
Just pop open the hood and we'll take a look at the engine.
Come on!
Come on baby, you got this.
Woo, yeah!!!
See ya sucker!!!
I'm only trying to help!
Relax everybody.
It's probably just Daryl.
Daryl, you son of a bitch!
That's a hell of a grip you got there Bill.
What, ICE got you pushing too many pencils?
Just fucking with ya.
Cuttin' it a bit close aren't ya?
Had some car trouble back at the gas station.
Can you just let me in already?
Come on in.
Thanks. I swear somebody was ready to knock me off at that gas station.
But thanks to sweet baby Jesus,
I made it out.
Family is in the living room.
Hey everybody, this is Daryl.
Daryl works with me at Homeland Security.
Hi I'm Daryl, pleased to meet you all.
Hi Daryl, I'm Bill's sister Stacey.
This is my husband Tom.
Howdy Daryl, pleased to meet you.
The pleasures all mine...
And my daughter Jenna.
Hello.
Hi.
My son Brian.
How's it going my man?
Hey.
Brian!
Don't be rude, say hello to our guest.
Sup man!
Sup!
And Grandma Ruth.
Nice to meet you Darren.
It's actually Daryl ma'am.
Daryl...
Isn't that a girls name?
Uh... I don't believe so.
Like that movie, that murmaid movie.
Oh love that one!
Daryl Hannah.
Well yeah, but there's plenty of manly men out there with the name Daryl too.
Like you got what, uh...
Daryl Stawberry who used to play on the Mets.
Daryl Hall.
Daryl Hammond.
Well that's okay.
Whatever makes you feel better about it.
Okay.
Well...
It was nice to meet you all.
Uhh, just want to say,
thanks for allowing me to stay with you tonight.
It really means alot.
Hey uh...
Sorry about that.
I didn't mean to be rude earlier or anything.
I was just Snatch Chatting with this chick that liked my profile.
Snatch Chat huh?
Sounds like a mature site for a boy your age.
Uh no, Snatch Chat is just a social site that you like upload selfies...
and people can like them or message you if you both click like on each other.
They call it Snatching.
Snatching!
Mmm hmm.
I got you, my bad.
I just got this new app called Timber, have you heard of it?
No...
Well, its basically designed for the ladies so that only men they've liked...
can message them.
I only installed the app to make sure my profile is working.
I haven't found the one just yet.
Basically...
Get this out here...
You just open the app.
Okay, and then when you get into here,
you click Find Wood.
And these are called your Wood Piles and your gonna scroll through these.
And...
when you see something you like...
then you click on them.
Obviously this guy you would just click Cut 'Em Loose.
That gets them out of your Wood Pile but if you like what you see you click Get Some!
Timber!!!
Oh shit...
Umm...
Do you see a cancle button on here? I didn't mean to do that.
No...
Uh oh...
I don't see one...
I'm not interested in dudes.
You've got wood!
Uh oh!
There's something in my Wood Pile.
Oh!!!
Oh sweet Jesus...
Yep...
That's a dick pic...
When you're done looking at Dicks, would you like a beer?
Umm, no thanks. I'm alergic to gluten.
We have Angry Apple for the ladies.
Uh, sure.
I don't know if I should be drinking tonight.
Should probably be on full alert.
Don't be a pussy.
1 drink ain't gonna kill ya.
It's not the drink I'm affraid of.
It's what's out there tonight.
Ahh, let 'em come.
I have special door prizes for any uh...
unwelcome guests.
Here, try some Takis.
They're delicious!
Sure, I can try one.
Never had these before.
Now we're having fun.
Fucking delicious ain't they?
So Daryl...
Do you work for FIRE as well?
No, I work for Immigration and Customs Enforcement.
Ah, so like the people I see on the TV
that are ripping apart families and separating children from their parents?
I've done no such thing.
Why, just today, I sent an entire family back to Mexico.
Parents and children together.
I know it might say ICE on my vest,
but my heart,
is warm in my chest.
Awe!
Well,
that gives me some faith that there's good people working in our Government.
I mean, everybody deserves a fair shake at life right?
They do.
And now there's new ways for them to come over here legally.
That's why the President created FIRE.
Wait a second...
Let me get this straight...
Forrest and Immigration Raking Enforcement?
FIRE!
And...
Immigration and Customs Enforcement?
ICE!
Yes ma'am!
FIRE and ICE?
Who comes up with this sh..
Shh!!!
It's startin'.
Quiet everybody!
This is not a test.
This is the Emergency Broadcast System.
After the siren, all crime, including murder, will be legal for 12 hours.
All emergency services will beunavailable until tomorrow morning at 7am when
the second siren concludes the Purge.
May God be with you.
That's enough of that already.
Apprentice.
Ooh I love this show!
Alright, are we live?
Oh it's, it's pre-recorded?
Alright, whatever!
Welcome to the first episode of the Apprentice 2025.
Before we get started,
I just wanted to give a big shout out to Putin...
For nominating me...
for the Pee-Pee Challenge.
We're going to be doing that a little bit later this evening.
Nobody does the Pee-Pee Challenge...
like I do.
Okay.
Nobody!
It's going to be huge!
Very frothy!
Lastly...
It's a special night!
The return of the annual Purge.
Everybody have a great time.
Okay?
I'll be watching via Space Force satellite
at Mar-a-Lago's clubhouse.
Now...
I'm starting a new business right here in my city, New York.
We're going to take over the world of intimate apparel.
Nobody knows intimate apparel like I do.
I present to you...
Donjerie!
Donjerie will be the finest clothing a woman can adorne.
Each one of you have one week
to design a completely new line of bras and panties
unlike anything the fashion industry has ever seen.
Now, get to work!
What the fuck is that?
It's a fucking handle grip where you can grab them by the...
What the fuck do you need a handle grip for?
If it's hanging there and you grab them by the pussy...
What do you need a handle...?
Why wouldn't you need it?
It's fucking genious!
And what is this? Does she have 4 nipples?
Do you know?
8 nipples!
Have you ever even seen a woman?
Naked?
Fuck... you!!!
They're both fucking idiots!
They wouldn't know a good design from a hole in their ass!
I'm the next Apprentice.
Focus on the cannons.
Look at these things.
Gorgeous!
8 nipples, we're good.
When you come down here and you yank on that shit,
we're good!!!
Why are we gonna yank on that shit???
Everybody knows, every girl wants to be yanked by the pussy.
I don't want to be yanked by the pussy!
Nobody ever wants to be yanked by the pussy!
Do you wanna be yanked by the dick?
I want to be yanking pussy!!!
You want to be yanked by the pussy?
Yes...
I don't have... maybe...
There it is.
Shit!
So Daryl, you work for uh, Homeland Security too huh?
What agency?
I'm with the...
U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement.
Commonly known as ICE.
Come again? You gotta talk into my good ear.
God dad, he just went over this!
Listen!
Dad can't hear shit...
Brian!
Language!!
Someone threw a grenade right next to his tent when he was in Vietnam.
Exploded right by him and now he's mostly deaf in one ear.
Shrapnel tore right through my pillow.
I'm lucky to be alive!
So Daryl, have you heard anything about the new Space Force?
Do you really get to go into space?
Nah, that will likely be a branch of the U.S. military.
Unless of course we have to deal with illegal aliens...
Wait, for real?
Like...
do aliens really exist??
It was a joke dillhole!
Jen!!!
Be nice to your brother!
Hey Brian!
You should come do a ride along with me sometime.
See what it takes to keep our borders secure.
Really?
I wouldn't mind a ride along...
It'd be my pleasure to take you.
Mom, can I go on a ride along with Daryl please?
That sounds fine honey.
Just make sure finish your homework first and you're back in time for supper.
You know, our immigration policy is a complete joke...
Speaking of which...
Oh God, here we go again...
You ever hear the one about the Border Patrol agent...
who catches an illegal immigrant and says...
I'll let you stay in the U.S.A. if you can say 3 english words in 1 sentance?
No, can't say I have.
The Border Patrol thinks to him self uh...
I'm gonna make this really hard for him.
The 3 english words you gotta say in 1 sentance...
are green, pink and yellow.
Well the Mexican guy says...
Oh yes sir!
And starts thinking about it.
A couple of minutes later...
he says...
Okay, Okay!
The telephone, it goes Green... Green... Green...
I Pink it up...
and says Yellow???
Ha Ha... Good one...
Hey!
Oh...
What do you call 4 Mexicans who drown in the Rio Grande...
while trying to cross illegally into the U.S.?
I don't know, what?
Quatro Sink-o!!!
I think completely understand why we have the Purge now.
Huh? What's that?
I said excuse me, I have to uh, get a refill.
Oh.
Hey!!!
Bring back some Takis!
Sure thing.
You guys good?
What the hell?
Hello!
Hi there!
Wanna make me a drink?
I'm gonna have to see some ID first...
Uhh...
I'm just kidding...
What will it be?
I dont know!?
Something I've never had before...
What's your favorite drink?
Hmm?
I think I've got just the drink in mind...
One special drink...
coming up for one special lady...
Let's see where they keep the boose around here...
Not here!
Ah ha!!!
Here it is!
Let's see what we got here...
Shit...
What the fuck are you gonna do now Daryl?
Think think think think!
Come on...
You've seen that movie Cocktail at least a 100 times.
WWTD???
What Would Tom Cruise Do???
Take her to Kokomo!
Umm...
I'm really happy...
I ended up coming tonight because I thought it was honestly gonna be super lame...
But um...
it ended up being pretty cool...
Like you...
Stop staring at her tits...
She's gonna notice...
Just take a glance, look away...
It's like the sun...
Okay, get a grip, get a grip.
You got this!
Oh shit.
Spided Rum is almost gone.
Oh crap.
A little of the blue stuff...
Here we go...
That shoud do it.
Oh, there we go...
Sailor Jerry!
I'm just gonna...
Oop, okay...
Wow!
That's a lot of liquor!
Well...
It takes a lot of liquor to make this special drink.
Did you go to bar tending school or something?
Umm... no but...
Prepare yourself to experience...
something you've never tasted before.
Excuse me.
Careful...
Whoa!!!
Isaac's doing the Pee-Pee Challenge on FaceSpace Live!
What the heck is the Pee-Pee Challenge?
Is that like one of those...
Tide Pod things where those stupid kids eat laundry detergent?
Ugh, don't tell me he's drinking pee...
No!!
It's where you dare somebody to run out into the middle of the street during the Purge...
and dance while they take a leak.
And then they have to nominate someone else to do it...
And if they don't do it...
Then you have to drink your own pee.
If I ever catch you doing something like that,
your ass is grass!
And I'm the weed whacker!
It's streaming on like 3 of my friends pages.
Oh shit, here he goes!
What's up everybody?
It's your boy Isaac.
Coming to you live.
I was nominated by Jessie B.
And you know me, I ain't no bitch!!!
So let's go everybody!
Pee-Pee Challenge!
I-S-DOUBLE-A-C!!!
Let's get it!
Let's go!
Yeah!!!
Pee-Pee,
Gotta go Pee,
Piss inside me,
I don't wanna hold it in.
I gotta go Pee.
Let the flow stream.
Gush outside me.
Gotta know me.
It's so foamy.
Holy Shit!
Ooh...
Isaac just got smashed by a car.
What's up? It's Skizzy!!!
Coming at you live!
I'm taking calls right now for personal delivery by yours truly.
And Skizzy's Blow Mobile!!!
We've got the finest powder this side of the border
and delivering direct to you for the next 10 hours.
So!!!
Send me a text, or give me a call
at 1-800-YOU-BLOW-ME!
That's 800-825-6963.
Have a wonderful Purge!
I know I will...
I'll see ya later!!!
Classic Darwinism.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Some parents these days.
I'm glad you're such a good boy Brian.
My sweet little accident.
Accident?
Oh sweetie, haven't you heard the story?
We only wanted one child.
What story?
Honey...
We were done having kids!
But 10 years after your sister was born,
your father thought he was doing me a favor...
by refilling my Tic Tac dispensor.
Always sneaking them out of my purse!
Hey, love Tic Tacs!
Except they weren't Tic Tacs!
They were my birth control pills!
What can I say? I'm sorry!!
They tasted exactly the same!
Besides, I'm the one who had the super super sensative breasts all those years.
My nipples are still a bit puffy...
And you're still a little bitchy too!!
Sometimes I swear we are on the same cycle.
Wow I...
I can't believe you guys didn't want me.
Awe...
We still love you all the same.
Get over it.
A little bit of that...
Lets see, ooh...
Gotta have a little bit of peppermint.
Mmm...
And of course some of the blue stuff.
Can't get away or go wrong with the blue...
And you gotta have a little Sailor Jerry in there.
And of course we're gonna wan't just a little something for some sweetener.
And...
Uh, I don't have any fresh lime.
But I do have this...
squeezy bottle that looks like a lime.
So, that'll do.
There we go.
That should work.
The top...
and...
give it a shake!!!
Done!!
Alright.
Okay.
And a little bit of a pour...
Ooh..
Ooh it's pretty!
There you go.
Bottom's up!
Cheers!
Oh!
Damn!
What is that drink called?
Uh..
I call it...
Ice.?.?
Ice!?!
Baby!?!
Ice Ice Baby!
Too cold!!
I uh...
I like it...
You did?
I... I...
Yeah, I did.
Uh...
It started off..
Really strong!!
Like super strong!
Umm...
and then it was pepperminty.
And uh then...
uh...
uh, it ended up sweet.
It was sweet.
Like you.
Thanks Daryl!
You're welcome.
I think she's in to me.
Oh, that Donald is one mean mother fucker!
Mom!
The children!
Such a handsome fella.
If I had any feeling left down there, I would need to purge myself!!!
Drain the swamp if you know what I mean.
Mother!!
What would dad do if he were alive today to hear you speak of such things?
Oh let me tell you!
He always liked to watch me!
Nothing like a little voyeurism to spice it up in the bedroom.
I would rather not imagine you and daddy doing your private business.
Or touching your naughty parts.
Well how do you think you got here?
Immaculate conception?
Even still, we have young ears present.
It's okay mom.
People talk like that at school all the time.
You'd be surprised what children are capable of these days.
Turn right at the next street.
Right here?
Yep.
Keep going and it should be right at the end of the court.
Let's park here.
You look so pretty.
You're all grown up now.
Alright Hope...
do you remember what to do?
You're gonna walk up to the door and ring the doorbell all by yourself.
Just like mommy taught you. Okay?
Now put this underneath your sign.
Daddy will be watching right over here.
You have nothing to fear.
Just like we practiced. Okay?
Go on now.
Make mommy and daddy proud.
Go get 'em tiger.
Well...
hello there.
What ya doing outside all here by your lonesome young lady?
It's not safe to be outside this time of day.
You should be with someone that can...
protect you and keep you safe from those that...
might try to harm you.
You need not be afraid of me.
Why don't you turn around...
so I can get a good look at ya.
That's such a pretty little dress.
What's this?
You need help...
little girl?
Well.
Why...
why don't you come inside? And...
I can watch you for the time being.
And...
Besides, I'm sure we can figure out...
what to do with you!
Wait a minute!
What's this?
Now wait, wait, wait wait.
I don't mean you no harm.
I don't mean you any harm!
No, I...
You did so well!
I'm so proud of you!
That's my little girl!
Just a little mess here.
There now...
all better!
Now wasn't that fun?
Yes mother.
Let's go to the next house and see if any perverts are home.
I have the list right here!
Don't think I don't know what you're up to young lady.
Me?
What?
I see the way you looked at that boy.
Don't think I wasn't your age once.
Oh really?
And what is it that you think I am up to?
Well, the first time I saw your father...
hmm...
such a strapping young lad.
He was just stepping off a bus
coming home from a tour in Vietnam.
There's something about a man in uniform
that gives you the butterflies in your flower petals.
Flower petals?
You know?
Your 2 lips
Tulips!
Get it?
That's what we used to called them when your mama was a little girl.
I think I'm gonna excuse myself from the rest of this conversation.
What is it with you guys and your swampy tulips?
Jen...
Here, you just make sure you take right precautionary measures.
Oh my god mom no.
You're so embarrassing.
Well, Jen...
I can't stop you from doing what your gonna do.
You never know when you might need them.
Now...
here.
The least I can do is help you prevent any accidents.
Still love you Brian.
Oh my gosh mom!
Hmm...
They're spearmint.
Your mom's favorite.
Okay...
Eww!
Kids, it's getting late.
And...
I packed jammies for everyone.
So!
Let's get into them so you are all comforable throughout the night.
Here you go Jen.
Okay.
And for dad.
I haven't worn these in forever.
Yeah mom, we don't need to be tucked in for nite nite anymore.
Well.
As long as you are under the same roof with me,
you will follow my rules.
Thank you.
Oh, that reminds me!
Brian!
I made you a little something special
to keep you warm at night!
Grandma you...
didn't have to.
Oh don't be silly.
Now go try it on, I want to see how it fits!
Do I have to?
Don't be rude now.
I'm sure grandma put a lot of love and time into making that.
Show some appreciation.
The tag says made in China.
Go!!
Fine!
Such as fine young man.
He's a spittin' image of your father when he was that age.
Shit, should probably lose the vest.
Oh shit.
My hair looks like shit like usual.
Ooh... I need to...
Slightly pepperminty.
Get a little pump going.
Do some pushups.
What in the fuck are you doing?
Hey uh...
Just uh...
Keeping the old blood flowing.
Gotta be ready for anything. You know?
Stop humping my kitchen floor!
You were supposed to bring back Takis!
Oops... Shit that's right!
Don't bother, I'll get 'em.
Sorry about that.
Do I really have to wear this?
So embarrassing.
Oh you look so handsome!
I could just squeeze ya!
Come on son, what do you say?
Thanks grandma...
I just knew you'd love it.
Now you come here and sit down by me and be my big Bri-Bri-Bear.
John, you were picked as a team leader.
Let's see your design!
Well Donald, I think you're really gonna enjoy what we've come up with for you.
Let's bring out the model.
Interesting.
What's this?
This is a rich corinthian leather
crotchless
panty
with matching bra.
Oh gosh.
Donjerie?
I wonder if you can order it on the website?
I can see it's crotchless,
but what's that on the sides?
I thought you might notice that.
Those are special placed handle grips made from 7075 aircraft grade aluminum alloy.
The same material used in fighter jets.
Handle grips?
Handle grips for what?
Well, you know...
So you can... Grab 'em by the pussy!
Those idiots.
And you thought that would be a good idea?
Well...
I saw your open mic interview on TV,
and I thought surely a man of your taste would appriciate such fine amenities.
You thought wrong...
Drew Careys!
Come again?
Dra Carris?
I don't quite follow.
You know, Dracarys!!
Your Fired!!!
Wait...
I can make it in gold...
Get him out of here!
Wait...
What about diamond crusted?
Diamond crusted!!!
Out now!!!
Loser!!
Ahh that's funny.
Must obtain more beverage.
Sorry...
I just binge watched the entire 8 seasons of Game of Thrones.
Do you wanna have rock hard abs?
Well how about a rock hard penis?
Well you can have both!!
Introducing...
Steel Labido!!!
Have you been called pudgy?
How about flacid?
You can have a 6 pack torpedo of Steel Labido!
Just as I thought.
For only 17 payments
Another quiet night.
Of $49.95.
That's the beauty of living out here in the country.
I don't always work out.
Still think we should all stay together until morning.
But when I do,
just to be safe.
I go hard!!
We can alternate watches so we can all get some rest.
Steel Labido!!!
Daryl??
Whoo!!!
Please see a Doctor if your erection lasts longer than 5 hours...
Figures...
Not recommended for small children.
What's going on here? Who the hell are you?
Deputy Director Johnson.
Welcome
to the anual Purge.
Sorry about the little boo boo, we...
forgot to strap you in on the way here.
What's the meaning of this?
Who are you?
What do you want with me?
What do we want?
Yeah!!
You think we got all dressed up like this...
just to come over and say...
Hello neighbor!?!?
Come on Harold...
You're a smart guy!
It's the Purge.
You know what the word Purge means don't you?
No! No! You can't touch me! I'm a government official!!
Well...
You'll be know as a former...
government official.
No! No!
I have immunity from the Purge!
Immunity?
Yes!!!
Well...
let's see about that!
Ahhh!!!
Ahhh!! That's my fucking hand!!!
What are you doing???
Ahhh!!!
Looks like you don't have immunity after all.
Fuck!!!
Nope!
What the hell man??? That's my, that's my hand!!!
Not any more.
Fuck!
What do you want? Money? You want...
I can get you money! Do you need money?
No!!!
Shit!!!
No!!!
Mother!!!
We want your resignation.
What??? Resignation???
Are you kid... I don't even fucking understand...
It's simple.
Consider this...
a demotion!
No! Wait! Wait!!
Oh...
Oof...
Must tinkle!!!
Now which was was that damn bathroom?
Open the gate!
You 3, go to the left to case the house.
You guys, go to the right.
Keep your eyes open!
The moneys around here somewhere!
Show no mercy!
Oh fuck!!
Ahhhhh!!!!!!
Sweet Jesus!!
What was that?
It sounded like an explosion!!!
That was a booby trap!
Either we have visitors,
or one of them damn goats got out again.
Kids are you okay??? Are you okay???
Yeah, yeah mom we're okay.
Hey!
Get him!
Tom!
Dad!
Tom!
Dad!
What? What??
Wake up!
There was a loud boom outside!!
I didn't hear anything...
Come on get up!
Come on Tom!
Get up get up!
Wait! Where's grandma???
Come on!
What???
Mom!!!
Bill, you don't think mom wandered outside?
Stay Calm!
Stay calm!
Daryl!
I need to talk to you!
Stay right there.
What's going on?
We got this!
Stay right there!
Daryl...
I need you to stay here
and protect my family.
I need to go outside,
check the perimeter
and see what's going on.
Yeah sure um...
How should I protect them?
With your service piece.
What do you mean?
I left it at home.
I'm off duty!
Jesus Christ Daryl!
Just because you punch out on the timeclock
does not mean you stop delivering justice.
Here!
Use this!
Do you always carry 2 guns?
3...
Alrighty...
Where's the safety?
It's called your finger.
When you're ready to shoot something,
squeeze the trigger.
Here...
put these in your pocket.
You might need them later.
You got this brother.
Alright.
Lock the door behind me.
Be careful out there.
It's just me and you Betsy!
Come get some!!!
Don't be pointing that around the house!!!
Are you sure you're qualified to handle that thing?
Yes ma'am!
I'm a sworn officer of the law.
Here to serve and protect children
and sweet women such as your lovely self.
Ahhh shit.
Crap!!
You have one?
You have one for me?
Thank you.
Locked and loaded.
My uncle Bill know you have that?
Yes ma'am he gave it to me.
Oh God help us.
Pew Pew...
Jenna?
Looks like we've got a problem.
Just as I thought...
Burrr!!!
Takes care of that.
Sweet Jesus!
Takes care of what?
Well, the heaters on and...
someone left the bedroom window open.
I just saved Bill money on his electric bill.
Our hero!
You know, you should...
probably be a little more careful sneaking up from behind people.
Especially someone who is...
packing...
Oh yeah?
What, would you have busted a cap at me?
Well...
I wasn't really expecting it.
And it...
just happened so fast...
that I...
really didn't have enough time to pull out.
You're lucky!
Well...
Maybe you just need some more practice?
I pracitce...
I practice lots!
I mean...
not too much!
But...
enough!
I can be ready when the time comes.
Pulling out's over rated.
Uh...
I can...
keep it in if you prefer...
So you're on a dating app huh?
There's no lucky girl at home waiting for you to get off?
No.
I don't get out much these days.
It's...
hard to meet real people.
So,
I figured... why not try the old interwebs?
But I'm here with you, right now...
Am I not real to you?
I mean...
you look real...
and...
I'm not one to question the validity of a womans anatomy.
But,
from what I can tell,
you're as beautiful a woman as they come!
You're cute!
Umm...
thanks, you, you're...
you're very...
Thank you!
Come on Daryl.
We should stick together.
Looks like we got ourselves some visitors.
What in the hell is going on out there?
I don't know.
It sounds like people are shooting at each other.
Shit!!!
Those are definitely different calibers firing.
Do you see anyone out there?
That's a lot of gun fire.
Even I can hear that.
Sub-machine gun, 9mm.
Heard that all day long when I was overseas.
Can you see Bill?
Is he okay?
It's difficult to make of what's going on.
Should somebody go out there and check on him?
Honey, maybe we should get away from the window and...
go back to the couch where it's safer?
I think Daryl has things in hand here.
I'm pretty sure I've seen multiple people moving around out there.
I think we're surrounded.
Oh my God...
Tom!
Should you go out there and help Bill?
My duty is to stay right here and look after my family!
Bill's trained to handle this sort of thing.
I'm sure he's okay.
Come on, let's go back to the living room where it's safe.
Jenna, you too!
No, I'm gonna stay here with Daryl.
Come on!
No, I can take care of myself dad!
Jax Maxwell!?!?
Sergeant...
Jax...
Maxwell!?!?
Fucking body armor!!!
I...
think I hear a skilsaw...
What the hell is that?
Wait, where are you going?
I'm going in the other room.
There's something out there.
I need to get a better look.
I need you to stay here with your family.
I'll be right back!
Okay!
Wait, you promise???
Fuck yeah I do!!!
Uh, what was that???
A pinky swear...
What the hell is that?
Ahhh!!!
Jesus Christ!!!
What the hell was that?
Okay...
Okay.
Okay, Okay, Okay...
I know I'm not crazy.
Hey!!
Hello??
Give us the money man...
and we'll let you live.
Stay back!!
I will shoot...
If you come any closer!
I told you...
to stay back!!
Listen Daryl...
Let's talk about this man to man.
I don't want to hurt you.
I can get you out of this situation!
How...
How do you know my name???
And why should I...
trust someone who's holding an axe and wearing a mask???
Okay, okay...
I'll drop my weapon,
and lift up my mask.
There...
is that better?
No!!!
Look!
The guys know the money's in there.
Just hand it over, and this will all be over.
Look.
I'm taking off my mask.
I don't know anything about any money.
Stop playing games man.
The guys know the money's in there
and they're gonna stop at nothing...
Including killing your ass.
I can get you out of this situation.
Let me help you.
You know it's not safe to be here.
It's you.
You're the guy from the gas station!
I knew you didn't want to help me!
You just wanted to kill me!!
I'm not gonna tell you again.
If you don't hand over that 1.4 million dollars...
I'm gonna come in that house...
and kill every last one of you motherfuckers!
It's your choice.
Look man,
you must have a...
a hearing problem.
Because...
I've already told you
I don't know anything
about any money.
Fine.
Have it your way.
But I tried to be nice.
You're not coming in this house.
And I don't...
want...
to shoot you. Okay??
Shit!!!!
You're aiming sucks and for all I know,
You're probably out of bullets.
I know what you're thinking.
Have I shot 6 shots?
Or have I shot 5???
Shit!!!
How many shots did I shoot?
Game over man.
I don't...
want to hurt you.
Goodbye Daryl.
Oh fu...
I'm sorry!
Shit.
Jesus fucking Christ Daryl!
Keep it together, keep it together.
Oh right there... Oh.
Yes!
Oh!
Yes!
Oh!
Mmmm...
Oh yeah!
Oh!
Oh!!!
Oh!!!!!!
Oh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh yes!!!!!
Put my legs up.
No no.
Put them back down.
Put your legs up!
Yes!!!!
Spin the other way...
Oh!!
Ahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!
What was that?
Like 19 times?
Oh baby, thers gonna be more!
What else could we possibly do?
I have a surprise for you!
Oh!
Oh Richard!!!
Surprise #1.
Pucker up sweet cheeks!
Now what in the fuck is that??
Who you supposed to be?
Little dead riding hood?
I don't get the joke.
The only funny thing I saw tonight was...
your friend
setting off my Tannerite.
Now that was funny!
Man...
Wish I had my security camera setup to my DVR.
I'm just happy nobody's killed you yet.
Well, that makes 2 of us.
And now that we agree on something,
let's call it a night.
Oh no.
That just means I get to kill you myself.
Are you still mad 'cause I did't call?
That was for fun.
This is business.
Come again?
Not this round.
This time...
you gotta go!
Bring it on sugar tits!
Alright pops.
But this time...
we're playing for keeps.
You know you're not playing fair!
I'd never hit a lady!
Come on you fucking pussy!!
Nothing pisses me off more
than being treated like a woman
who can't handle her shit!!
I don't mean to offend,
but...
I'm old fashioned!
And lucky for you,
I'm getting tired of this shit!
Well that wasn't very gentleman like of you!
I know.
I usually don't do head until the 2nd date.
But things have always been moving a little fast for you and I.
I'm not quite sure how this counts.
Let's just call it a 2nd date.
Well, as stimulating as this conversation has been,
I'm gonna have to cut things a little bit short.
See...
You have something that belongs to us.
And I think we'll be taking it back now.
Ahhh!!!!!
Enjoy you're early retirement Bill!
God damnit!!!
Keep pressure on it!!
What a waste.
Oh!
Oh!!!!
Oh!
Oh!!!
Oh!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hi.
You've reached the voicemail of Captain Richard Sully.
Crap!!!
I'm not available to take your call right now.
But please leave a message and I will get back to you as soon as possible.
Thanks!
Captain Sully!
It's Bill!!
Got some shit going down at my house.
Looks like cops!
I...
I recognize one of them as...
Jax Maxwell.
You're the only one I trust.
Get your ass down here as soon as you get this!
And hurry the fuck up!
Fuckin' dick!
Let's play some more!
What?
You thought sneaking up on me I'd be shocked?
You wanna start some static?
You wanna play with knives?
I got nothin' on that!
Missed call from Bill?
What in the hell does he want at this hour?
Who cares??
Get your tush back over here!
Just a minute Marge, this could be important.
Oh Richard!!
I said just a minute!
Where's the other butt plug?
Your turn!!!
Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ahhhh!?!?!?
Oh...
yeah!!!!!
Sorry Bill.
He got the drop on me.
Drop your weapon...
or I'll shoot him.
Alright.
Take it easy.
Nobody needs to get hurt.
I'm unarmed.
I've waited all day for this.
Who are you?
I see you managed to take out my men.
You picked the wrong house buddy.
I'm not your buddy.
I'm your worst nightmare!
Hey!
What the hell's wrong with this thing?
I'm your worst nightmare!
And tonight...
I will Purge you from existance!
What's with the disguise?
You affraid to face me like a man?
What?
Are you a coward?
I'll show you who's a coward!
You'll beg me to spare your life
after you watch me carve up
each and every person you love
into itty
bitty
pieces!
Shit!!!
What the hell is wrong with this thing?
Why doesn't anything go as planned?
Aidan?
Aidan is that you???
Shut up!!
Aidan!!!
What in the hell are you doing?
I don't need a mask.
No more hiding.
Aidan we're partners!!!
I'm not your partner!
I'm not your friend!
You...
Daryl,
your family.
You're everything that's wrong with this country!
You're the reason this country needs the Purge!
And I'm gonna enjoy...
every last minute of it.
Aidan,
It doesn't have to end this way.
You can just walk away.
No!!
It definitely has to end this way!
I'm not gonna walk away empty handed.
What do you want from me Aidan?
What's this all about?
Like I told you before...
Word on the street is...
you had a big bust.
Scored a hefty chunk of change.
Log books say...
1.4 million
placed into evidence.
But we checked the boxes.
There's no money.
So my thought is...
you added yourself a little bonus to your retirement.
You don't know what you're talking about.
I didn't take any money.
Tell me where the money is...
or I'm gonna start peeling them
one by one
until you do.
I told you
I don't know anything about any money,
Okay.
You want games.
Let's play games.
I'll find the money.
To be totally honest,
I was planning on killing everybody anyway.
Seeing as how I can be a generous guy,
I'm gonna let you pick who dies first.
So who's it gonna be?
The pretty little niece?
Tell me my love...
How do you like it?
Get your hands off her!!
Fast?
Slow?
Maybe your little nephew wants to volunteer.
Get off me!
Do you want to be tonights first little sacrifice?
Uh oh!
Looks like we had a little accident.
Should have worn the yellow pants.
Fuck you!!
Now you have Pee-Jay's!
Awe fuck it!
We're out of time.
I guess
I'm just gonna have to choose for you Bill.
I like to keep it classy
being a gentlemen and all.
So...
No!!!!
Ladies first!
Wait!!!
Well?
You gonna tell me who dies first?
Or where the money is?
I've decided who dies first.
Well?
You...
Dickhead!
Everybody alright?
Yeah I think so.
Everybody okay?
It would be nice to get out of these cuffs.
I got to give it to you Bill.
I didn't see that coming.
Where's grandma?
Knowing my men,
They gutted her already.
You son of a bitch!!
You're not gonna walk away from this one!
Well.
Saved by the bell.
Look's like it's too late for you.
God damn!
That shit hurts!
That was a close one!
You're not gonna get away with this.
It's too late buddy.
The Purge is over.
Should have packed something a little bit bigger down there.
See you at work.
Captain!
Hey, is everybody okay?
That was a close one!
Hey buddy, I'm sorry I missed your call.
But all emergency services were down and I got here as quick as I could.
Just in time.
You saved my ass.
Are you okay?
Huh?
No.
No, I think I might have slipped somehting in my lower back.
I'll be okay.
Hey, thats quite a mess you made outside.
Looks like you had quite a night.
My partner...
who you just took out..
And a group of his friends,
appear to be from the State police task force.
And the rest I suspect work for the agency.
Oh yeah...
It's too bad about Sasha and Jax.
Did they get what they were after?
Well, Daryl and I are still alive.
Although he's gonna wake up with a mighty headache.
So I'm gonna have to say...
They did not complete their mission.
So...
they didn't get the money.
The money?
Yeah!
The money from the Velasco bust!
That's what they came here for right?
I assume you stashed it somewhere safe.
I never said anything about any money.
Yes you did, in your voicemail.
You told me that Aidan was here
with his men and to get the money.
I never said it was Aidan.
He didn't take his mask off until
well into this.
Damnit Bill.
It wasn't supposed to go down like this.
Put your hands behind your head.
Now turn around and get on your knees.
You know I tried to get you away from all of this?
All you had to do
was finish your last 2 weeks in FIRE.
Where's my million dollars?
It's...
1...
point...
4...
million...
Jesus Christ!!!
Boss.
Will you please shut the fuck up and die already?
So where's my 1 point...
4 million dollars???
Why are you doing this Captain?
You think I'm going to walk away from this agency...
with that shitty retirement salary they're gonna give me?
You know I gave my life...
gave 30 years of my life to this shithole!
I knew that Velasco bust would be a big take.
It was just enough to set me up nicely
where no one would even know it's gone.
All you had to do was allow my men to take the money.
Hell...
I would have cut you in.
But I knew that you were too much of a good old boy.
But you just had to process the scene.
I'll find the money.
But I'm affraid I can't leave any loose ends.
What??
Well I may just have to call this in.
Let's see what I've got...
1 agent down.
Maybe uh...
6 other casualties?
Hey, you know your voicemail was the perfect alibi.
Unfortunately by the time I arrived here,
Aidan had killed everyone.
And we all know...
that killing after the 2nd Purge Siren is illegal!!
Aidan certainly has nothing to say about it.
I shot him just before he drew down on me.
There's a reason why I made it to the top Bill.
You're not on the top.
You're still 2nd in command.
Oh, you didn't hear?
I got a promotion last night!
Let's just say that Director Johnson has unexpectedly...
been relieved of duty.
So that's your method of upward mobility?
If maybe you followed my lead instead of always playing by the book...
you would have been my successor.
I'm sorry,
but your dedication has got you killed Bill.
No, no, no!
No!
Grandma!?!?!?
What??
You were missing!
We thought you might be dead!
Nah!!
Fell asleep on the crapper.
Woke up to the sound of the Purge siren.
From the looks of things,
just in time to get my Purge on!
Ma,
That was the second siren.
The Purge...
was over.
Oops!
Well,
I won't tell if you won't!
Now,
who wants pancakes???
Kids, are you okay?
You okay?
You're okay.
You'll be okay.
Come on, let's see if he's okay.
Let's get him rolled over.
Daryl!
Hey buddy, wake up!
You're alive!
Jenna?
Is this heaven?
He's alive!
Hey bro!
Bill?
Are we all dead?
Not yet.
Let me help you up.
Man...
the last thing I remember I was about to be purged.
Then I heard...
Aidan's voice?
Captain Sully?
What the hell happened?
It's a long tale bro.
Come on,
let's get you some fresh air.
Besides, my back teeth are floating.
What was that for?
For being my hero.
Hero?
Yeah.
If you weren't here at the right time and the right place
those men could have came in and killed us.
You protected my family and me.
And I think you're pretty hot.
Even though you work for ICE.
Well...
you're not so bad yourself.
Shut up and kiss me back before I change my mind!
Yes ma'am.
You should go get that fresh air!
But!
You should take me to breakfast when you get back.
Take you out?
Like on a date?
Yeah!
You think you can handle that?
I think I can manage.
But,
I'm not from around here so you might have to pick the place.
Alright, umm...
what about Westley's Diner?
It's by the gas station.
Westley's huh?
Or if you would prefer Buttercup Pantry?
As you wish...
What?
Marriage!!!
Marriage!
Is what brings us...
together...
today!!!
Let's slow down there okay?
Let's just start with sharing some sausage and eggs first!
It's...
from The Princess Bride!
You know?
Westley and Buttercup?
No...
Go get your fresh air.
Come back to me though.
Promise?
Okay.
But,
sausage and eggs!
Sounds cool!
I like to flip it over easy and...
dip it in the yolk!
Go!
Well, look's like she's getting the ride along before me.
Brian!
That's no way to talk about your sister!
And you need to get out of those...
Pee-Jays!
Yeah...
Hmm...
Who did he say is riding who?
Oh, nothing dear.
We need to get you a hearing aid!
First batch coming up!!
Come on.
Let's get you some pancakes.
Me lady!
Mmm that smells amazing!
Enjoy!
Yummy!
Bon appÃ©tit!
Thank you!
And the big one's for me!
That's a lot of dead people Bill!
Told ya...
it's a long story.
Thanks for having me over!
You're right,
I don't think I would have survived the night
if all of those guys came to my house.
Well,
to be honest,
I don't think my family would have survived if you hadn't been here.
I want to thank you for that.
Timber!!!!!!!
You've got wood!!
Timber!!!!!!!
Alight!!!
You know uh...
speaking of family...
I'm gonna uh...
take you're niece out to breakfast later.
Her and I have a...
real connection!
She wants to do a ride along.
And...
by ride along...
I mean intercourse!
We'll talk about that later!
And we'll see how she feels about it when she's sober!
Your uhh...
nephew Brian seems cool too!
He also wants to do a ride along!
Excuse me??
Uhh...
That came out wrong.
Yes it did!
You break her heart,
I break your dick!
I...
I don't want that!
Just fucking with you bro!
Ohh huh...
Ooh...
We're good!
Bill,
you're not such a bad guy after all.
I don't care what all those other people say!
Nah...
you're not so bad yourself!
Even though you're ICE!
You know,
I may have been wrong.
Maybe FIRE and ICE can mix.
Hmm...
FIRE...
ICE...
You wanna?
What the hell!
Whoa!!!