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This is me.
- Oh, yeah! - No, not this guy.
Oh, yeah. Oh, don't stop!
- Oh, my God! - This guy.
Oh, my God!
Oh, right there!
Oh, yeah!
I... I'm gonna...
I kind of wanted to freeze to death that day.
Tim Long, no!
I even fantasized about a headline.
"Teenage Genius Dies In Blizzard".
But in truth, I knew my death
would make one paragraph on page 12 at best.
I grew up in what is technically known among geographers
as the middle of fucking nowhere,
in a town whose mascot was this guy.
The white squirrel.
Now, white squirrels have a recessive gene that makes them super rare...
And super dumb.
And in 1986,
when the town was in the midst of a crippling recession,
Hobart and the squirrel had a lot in common.
They were both throwbacks on the verge of extinction,
struggling to fight off stronger competitors,
and almost totally white.
Tim, come on!
Yeah, it's tough for everybody right now.
Did you hear about Robertson's variety?
You know Doug Robertson, no head for business.
Tim, Mom's waiting!
That's what you said about Stedman Shoes
and they've been in business for 60 years, right?
Hey, buddy!
Hey.
Yeah.
You know, you don't got to go to the parade meeting with your mom.
You can always head down to the rink and, uh,
I don't know, hang out with your friends.
Why'd you have to mention friends?
I spy with my little eye something that starts with a C.
Car?
Yeah.
Hobart's annual white squirrel parade
was the most embarrassing
and culturally cringeworthy event imaginable...
Unless you are four years old,
or Kevin, the parade organizer.
Come with me, if you will,
on a...
On a journey
- through the mists of time. - Whoa.
Let the years roll back before your eyes.
The '70s turn into the '60s.
Groovy.
Right on.
The '50s, Elvis...
The '40s, Korea...
Back and back and back we go...
It's 1939.
The Nazis are cutting a swath through Europe.
Jews and gypsies are murdered indiscriminately.
Ooh.
And the Toronto Maple Leafs have won their second Stanley Cup.
Yeah!
- Yeah! - Yeah!
I propose this year,
we recreate Hobart's very first
white squirrel parade.
I'm sorry, why are there Nazis?
There won't be actual Nazis,
it was just for historical context.
Um, before we commit to any one theme,
we should maybe look at cost.
Cut back a little.
Hell, no.
You know who cuts corners on their town fairs?
Wingham.
I think that Sheila has a point.
I mean, money is so tight these days.
Maybe we can cut back on the snow removal,
or the daycare hours at the old folks home.
But what about the theme? Retro vintage!
Okay, I think that the parade is really important to a lot of people.
So, why don't we just all put our thinking caps on
and, uh, we'll discuss it next week.
I tell you what, why don't we put our thinking caps on,
just discuss it next week.
I know the parade is really important to everyone.
- That's a great idea, Gary. - Thank you.
While my schoolmates were at the rink,
I sought solace in the company of our Town Hall janitor.
Hello.
I, uh, couldn't decide between.
Yojimbo, Subway and La Dolce Vita,
so I brought them all.
What was that again?
You told me you'd bought a VCR player,
so I thought I'd bring some movies.
I don't care much for movies.
Right, sure.
But, in case you change your mind,
I'm gonna leave these here.
Movies from all around the world,
including one from Korea.
I shot my best friend in Korea.
Used his body for shelter.
Okay.
I... I didn't know that, I'm sorry. I'll take that one out.
Farewell, The Housemaid.
There's a tampon blocking the drain pipe.
I'll see you later.
Yeah, okay.
Good luck with the, uh...
Good luck with the... With the tampon.
You were really impressive in there, Gary.
You have such a way with words.
Thank you for keeping Tim company.
Careful, it's the Crowfoots.
What can I do for you, sir?
Gun permit.
- Downstairs to the left... - Oops! Sorry!
I heard the sister doesn't even talk.
Hi, Tim Long!
Look, same sweater!
See?
Hey, Long.
How's your book?
Uh, it's... It's not a book,
it's a magazine.
Yeah? Are you gonna fuck it?
How exactly would I do that?
I don't know, man, you're the one who's gay.
Why is the magazine a man?
Dude, Fleming's coming. We gotta go.
Quel est ton film prefere?
What is your favorite film?
Mary. Quel est ton film prefere?
Mon film prefere, c'est Endless Love avec Brooke Shields.
Craig. Quel est ton film prefere?
Mon film prefere,
c'est Porky's III: Porky's Revenge.
Monsieur Long?
Shit, here we go...
- All right. - Um...
Mon film prefere, c'est.
Le Cercle Rouge par Jean-Pierre Melville.
What is the story?
Um...
Wait, hold on.
I just wanna talk to you about
this France-Canada exchange program.
This is a really great way to expand your horizons.
A super-duper way to make friends,
learn about the world, make sure your parents see this, too.
Attention, students, Principal Wareham
has decided to make final period
a mandatory physical education hour
at our very own White Squirrel Ice Rink!
Yes!
Jesus, does that mean we can go now?
Actually, Monsieur Hudson,
Tim hadn't finished describing his film.
- Monsieur Long, continue. - Please, no more.
Um...
Perhaps you can bring it in
and we can watch it en classe.
Everybody, enjoy your skating.
I'm gonna kill myself.
En francais.
- Je vais me tuer. - Bien.
Take a little look.
Oh, and, uh, just one more thing.
All non-skaters should bring their homework to the north bleachers!
Hey.
You gonna skate?
Does the Pope wear a dress?
Yeah, I think I might, too, once I'm...
- all finished up here. - How's your hearing?
- My hearing? - Yeah.
It's good.
You didn't respond to the, uh, joke about the Pope in the dress.
Yeah, well, you make that one a lot, so...
Do I?
I... Well...
Four...
Five...
Six... Mmm.
That was good feedback.
Thank you.
You're funny.
Yes, I am.
♪ Tim Long, Tim Long
♪ Rocket to the stars every weekend tonight ♪
I like to make up songs with people's names.
♪ Cecil's got a woman in the city... ♪
Shut up! Everyone hates your stupid songs.
Uh, you know, I haven't heard enough of them to say I hate them.
Hate is a word I reserve for apartheid...
And famine.
♪ Apartheid and famine! ♪
You know, you look just like Steve Dalrymple.
- Who? - Steve Dalrymple?
He was that kid who moved here from Manitoba?
And then his dad got hit by a motorbike?
And then they moved back to Manitoba?
Yeah, I... I don't remember him.
I always thought Steve Dalrymple was cute.
Flash blizzard!
- Okay, I'll see you. - Okay...
Ow!
Out of the way, Tim!
Mom, open the car!
- Fuck off! - Ow!
Such a loser.
Why do we live here?
We don't even have a McDonald's.
Okay.
It suddenly struck me that the French exchange
could be my salvation,
my chance to inject some sophistication,
some culture, some je ne sais quoi into my life.
I could find someone who wouldn't stare at me blankly
when I talked about Truffaut,
or think that the French New Wave was a hairstyle.
Finally, I could find a real friend.
What's he doing now?
I don't know.
- Jerking off? - How can you use a computer to jerk off?
They'll find a way.
They always find a way.
- This is fun, Tim. - No, no, please.
- You got it? - Handsome boy.
- Yeah. On? - Yeah.
I'm here, uh, with Tim Long,
awaiting the arrival of a young man from Paris.
Tell our viewers how you're feeling.
Can we stop, please? This guy's from Europe.
He's gonna be sophisticated and smart and worldly, and he's...
- He's not gonna like it. - Oh, Tim, are we embarrassing you?
Jesus.
- Huh. - Well...
Um, this is Sheila Long, Long Family News, the airport.
- I thought it was fun. - God, this thing weighs a ton.
They don't tell you that on the box, or how much the goddamn tapes cost.
- Oh, expensive. - Come on. Save me.
Hey.
Allo, Tim.
Allo, Tim Long.
What?
I am your exchange partner, Stephane Belmadi. Eh?
What do you mean?
- For Tim Long? - Glenn, you getting this?
- I actually have no idea... - Get in there. Zoom in.
If this is on or not, but...
- And you must be Glenn? - Yeah.
- Well, bonjour. - Hello.
- I think there's a mix-up. - Bonjour.
Wow, Sheila. A beauty.
Whoa!
- Ah. - Enchantee.
So beautiful.
Three times.
Long family.
So, Stephane, um, our car is in the...
Just, uh...
- Give him the word. - Yeah.
Should've dog-eared this.
It's masculine.
Okay, then. Mix-up?
I just... I get stuck on that. Hang on.
It was here earlier.
Okay, "le parking." Same word. Same word.
Let's go.
- Okay, okay. - Okay, okay.
Now, it's a bit of a drive.
Stephane, do you need to use the little boys' room?
You crazy boy. Come on.
Whoa.
- Ah, cow. - Mmm.
- Seelo. - Silo.
Oui. Mmm-hmm.
- Silo. - Oh, yeah.
And, uh...
Uh, cow.
Uh...
- House. - Yeah.
- Oui? - Oh, yeah.
Cow.
Uh, yeah. No. Yeah, we live in a very agricultural area,
so a lot of cow.
Before I come here, people say, "Why you go Canada? It's so boring."
But for me it's tres bien.
Big wow for Canada, huh.
Really?
Oui, oui.
The people who say that Canada is shit USA,
these people are, uh, how you say...
Motherfucker.
- Oh. Oh. - You say this?
- We don't. - Motherfucker, huh?
That's a word we don't use in the Long household.
Yes, they are, Stephane. That's exactly what they are.
- Motherfuckers. - Oh.
Tres bien.
Stephane, I notice that, uh, you're not... You don't look French.
- Dad, I don't think that's... - Oh. No, he's fine.
My family was not born in France,
but I live Paris, uh, since I was three years old.
- Are you... Are wearing cologne? - Oui, oui.
You know the saying, before sex can happen in the pants,
it must first happen in the nose.
In the nose. Okay.
I didn't know that. Thank you.
Uh, no. No, thank you.
This is it. All right. Here we are.
Chez Long.
Huh?
You did not say you live in a palace.
How many families live here?
Just us, Stephane.
Huh.
Wow.
Big wow.
Well, um, this is your room, so...
This is all me?
Yeah. No, it's all you.
Wow. Big wow.
Yeah. Used to be, uh, kinda my private retreat.
Where I'd get away from it all. Uh...
It's all yours now, so you're welcome.
These are your friends?
- My... No, no, not my friends. - They look sad.
- Uh, they're The Smiths. - Huh?
Great new band out of England. Very smart, very cool...
You know, I don't like this.
I like, uh, you know, hip-hop?
Sure, yeah, okay.
Actually, I read a great article about how rap...
♪ Don't push me
♪ 'Cause I'm close to the edge
Okay. Yeah.
♪ I'm trying not to lose my head ♪
Yeah. No. Maybe not the vase.
Very delicate. My nana bought me that from Venice.
- Pop that there. - Hello.
You boys getting along?
We are meilleurs copains.
- Yeah. - Best friends.
- Aww... - Yeah.
- Yeah, it's going great. - I can see that.
I brought you something. It's called a bean bag chair.
It's full of beans, like me.
- She very funny. - Yes. Yeah, very funny, Mom.
I'll leave you to it.
Tell you something, Tim.
This is my best life.
Lot of fun.
Well, uh, the couch folds out into a bed,
so you can feel free to get on that, watch some movies.
TV here is great. Records.
- Hey, Tim. Tim. - Music. Yeah.
Soft like a woman, huh?
- Oh, yeah. - Like this?
Comme ca? Comme ca.
- Huh? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do some of that.
- Like this? Leg up? - Oh.
Yeah.
That's great, yeah.
Maybe like this, no hands?
Oh! Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, okay.
- Yes. - Yeah, up and down.
- Perfect. - You try it now.
- No. - Soft like woman.
Yeah. Or like a... Lile a big old marshmallow.
Like a marshmallow.
Good.
Yeah, it's a lot of fun. Yeah.
Stephane, school is at 8:30.
I am already ready. Huh?
Already ready. Already ready. This is fun to say, eh?
Bring the milk. Toast on the table.
Am I crazy, or are his pants totally diaphanous?
- Dia-what? - They're see-through. His pants are...
- Dad. - Hello.
Morning, boys. Who wants French toast?
Or I guess you would just call it toast.
Mmm. Hmm.
Glenn, I would like to tell you,
you are so smart
and so success, huh.
You are, and Sheila, wow, you are so beautiful.
- Huh. - Oh!
- Yeah. - Corn Flakes, please.
Hmm...
Maybe you should change your pants,
because you can see right through them.
- Can you really? - Not at all.
- Whole outfit's terrific. - Yeah, it's great.
- It's very chic. - Very smart.
I talked Stephane into changing his trousers,
but I couldn't change him.
I dreaded walking to school with him that first day.
This place is like, uh... What is that movie?
Uh, The Breakfast Club.
Trust me, inside it's a nightmare.
What? What nightmare?
Hello, teachers. Hello, fellow pupils.
Hello, girl with the pink hat on.
- I love this school. I go this school now. - Yeah.
Please stop speaking.
Boys, I don't know what a cooch-gobbler even is...
but I'm pretty sure that.
Mrs. McConnell doesn't want it scrawled all over her Subaru.
Stephane, Mrs. Fleming.
- Allo. - Oh, oh.
- Uh, that's the vice principal. - Ah.
And she also teaches French.
And she, um, is more or less mayor.
Whoa! She very important, ah?
No. Not really. It's just Hobart, so...
Uh, here. That's his paperwork.
I'll get out of your hair. See you.
Boys, I'll see you at lunch.
Bye, cool guys. I go this school now.
We're glad you're here, Stephane.
Um...
I know you had a bit of a rough time at home,
but you can start with a clean slate here at Hobart High.
It's good, huh. Hobart are number one.
Oh, go, the fighting white squirrel.
Salut.
You are a teacher here?
Oh. No. Well, not yet.
Well, I've applied to teacher's college, and I'm still waiting to hear back.
It's kind of a long story.
Okay.
Allo.
Begin.
Oh, um...
Well, uh...
I had the best teacher in kindergarten, Mrs. Johannson, and she was just so kind
and really like a second mom to me in a lot of ways.
That's 'cause her real mom left town,
and things got tough, and her dad started hitting the sauce pretty hard,
and she was forced to move in with her auntie across town,
which basically made her mega-into teachers, which,
of course, is good for me.
Sorry, honey, just saving us a lot of time.
Gary, um, this is Stephane, he is the exchange student from France.
Sure, why wouldn't he be? Gary Rothbauer.
Gary's a gym teacher.
Hmm.
- Gary's also the local law enforcement. - Mmm.
Part-time.
Um, the real sheriff's based in Wingham.
Wingham's 20 miles away,
so shit hits the fan, I'm the first responder.
I also teach skating, hockey, and soccer.
You play soccer here?
Does the Pope wear a dress?
He does.
Yes, he does.
Really?
Huh?
See? International. My jokes are international.
May not look like it, but he's one of us. Huh?
I like this guy. All right. Listen, word to the wise.
- Oh. - Oh.
Uh, just leave it.
You may hear people talking about
me being the greatest hockey player to ever come out of this town.
Played in pro-hockey, son.
Power forward, 15 games.
But the coach was an arsehole, and who needs all the travel?
I love soccer.
I scored 20 goals in 20 games.
- Wow. - Not bad.
Not bad at all.
If you wanna play, practice is at 2:00.
- You can try for the team. - Oui?
Now, I'm firm, but I'm fair,
and, uh, I don't see color.
Oh, no.
You should, uh, go see the doctor.
- Why? - Stephane.
- Bye-bye. See you. - Bye.
Goodbye, queen of the office.
Sweet kid.
- Copier's out of paper. - Sure, I'll get on that.
I had absolutely no idea what to expect
from Stephane's first day at Hobart High.
How he'd make out.
Who would he antagonize? What would he hump?
But what I didn't expect was this.
He joined more sports teams than me, one...
And made more friends than me.
So, it was infuriating.
And I had the idea for Star Wars way before it came out.
There was no point in pursuing.
Lose all the money to lawyers and...
And the lion spots his prey
and moves in for the kill.
Come on, Gary, I'm tired.
Maybe we can go...
Woof yourself.
- Dick. - I'll just wait here.
Oh, jeez.
Is that nubuck, hmm?
- No. - Sure it is.
You gotta work with me here.
Gary, I'm dying here.
You're dying? What is this, a shoe store or Live Aid?
I have a family to feed.
They're only $20.
Look at that.
That's not good.
I'll give you 16 because I like you. I'm doing you a favor.
Make it 12. I'll give you 12.
And, uh, you got any other colors?
I'm not taking the floor model.
I'll check.
Thank you, Robbie.
You drive a hard bargain.
Your dad'll be proud.
How's your day?
Pfft! Ooh la la, it's not so easy.
Oh. Really?
- Why? - Well, everyone wants to talk to me.
"Stephane. Come sit with me." "Stephane, you're so cool."
Come to my house, watch T.J. Hooker.
My head is pfft! It's crazy, huh.
- You know this problem? - Sure.
Real dilemma.
Is that Diane?
Bonjour, Diane.
Oh, uh... I don't speak... Sorry.
- Um... - Huh?
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
No, no, no.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Mr. Steadman, are you alive? He's dead.
- Are you alive. He's alive. Okay. - Is he dead?
Can you say something, please?
Oh, my gosh, Mr. Steadman.
I'm fine.
- Thank you so much. - Here, let me help you.
- Let me help you. - Don't touch me.
What's going on?
Stephane here just saved my life.
Oh, no, it's, uh, nothing.
No, you did. Thank you.
Nine and a half.
That night my parents wanted to reward Stephane for his heroism
by showing him the best of Canadian cuisine.
- It's so good. - So, we went for a Chinese meal.
In France, this meal costs one millions dollar.
- Canada, too. - Oh.
Hey, there he is.
Herb DeVries.
Stephane Belmadi.
Is that right?
How do you pronounce that?
Stephane Bermady.
No.
So, uh, I heard you saved poor little Diane Dearling's life today.
Oh, no, no, no. It's nothing.
Bonjour, hero of the hour.
Bonjour. Enchante...
Sheila, can I bend your ear for a sec?
Hello, anybody notice we're eating here?
You know, I've made a lot of progress with our retro-vintage theme.
Kev, you know, I love it when you think big.
I just think that, you know, we need a theme that's a little closer to home.
- Okay. - Sorry. Not to hurt your feelings.
- No. I can respect that. - I'm sorry.
Lightbulb alert. Stephane.
Our theme is Stephane.
Wait. You want the theme of the parade to be Stephane?
He's been here three days.
Lorna, come over and hear Kev's new plan.
Well, not Stephane, but Stephane.
- Mmm-hmm? - Mmm.
- Who he is. What he represents. - Yeah.
- Hobart welcomes the world. - Yeah.
International friendship!
Yeah, that could work.
- Eggrolls for everyone. - Whoo!
- Oh! - Yeah!
- Thanks, Glenn. - Thank you.
You know who should join you? Dr. Moe.
- Dr. Moe, the town dentist. - Mmm-hmm.
Moe!
Moe, look!
- Huh? - Huh?
Where are you from, again?
- Ottawa. - No, he means where you're from-from?
I was born in Egypt, but moved when I was an infant.
That's great.
Stephane, you can be France and Dr. Moe can be... Africa.
No fucking way.
Can you go talk to him because...
I need both of you and he gets a little moody and won't listen to me.
Hey! I can still hear you.
He can still hear us so just nod.
Jesus! This fucking town.
That was great, eh?
Oh, careful, honey.
Do you know the English word, grapefruit, huh?
In French we have a word, we call it a pamplemousse.
Pamplemousse is a funny word, huh?
Tim, I know he isn't, uh, what you expected.
Yeah. Understatement.
Give it time. You know, relationships can be tricky.
I understand that.
It's like a garden, with attention and cultivation,
good things can grow.
We only got six egg rolls,
- but you're charging us for eight. - But if you look...
Glenn.
You see, you have extra.
So, this is, uh, your favorite movie?
Oh, one of them. Yeah.
Yeah. Plus, it's French.
- So, you know... - I see that.
- We don't have to watch it. - No, it's, uh... It's fine.
Maybe, uh, we just sit and talk, huh?
One to other, asking questions.
- Yeah. Okay. Sure. - Mmm.
Um, okay, well...
Tell me about Paris. What's it like?
Old. How many times you make the fuck, Tim?
- What? - Two times? Three times?
Five times? Twenty-five times, you dirty boy, huh?
- Busy boy. - Please!
Can you tell me anything about Paris?
Just tell me about the Louvre, the Champs-Elysees, anything.
That is tourist Paris.
It's, uh, not my Paris.
My Paris is not so great.
Oh.
So, uh, tomorrow we meet your friends, huh?
Yeah. Yeah, maybe. I don't know, we'll see.
Maybe we'll watch a different movie.
- Sure. Okay. - Oui.
Let's do that. Yeah. Okay.
Oh.
If it's French, I warn you, I've probably already seen it.
It is French.
Oh.
Uh...
You travel with your own porn?
Yes, and, uh, toothpaste.
It's good, huh?
- I think I'm gonna go to bed. - Why?
Why? You don't like this movie?
No. I just, uh...
I don't think that would happen in a courthouse.
That was a fun night, huh?
Gosh, I thought that was such a great idea
about involving Stephane in the parade.
Mmm-hmm.
- Glenn. - Yeah.
- Glenn? - Yeah.
Kev's idea,
"Hobart welcomes the world." It's not bad, huh?
Yeah, yeah. Sure.
- Glenn... - Yeah.
It'll cost, though.
You know, we might need some more money from the community.
I'm not... I don't know how to ask people right now.
I just think the times are... What? What?
- Is there moisturizer on my lips? - No. No.
Your eyes look... Really pretty right now.
Oh. That's nice.
No, no. Keep them on.
That's it. Oh, even prettier.
Thanks. Anyway...
Long Tractor really is one of the very few thriving bits.
Yeah! Oh...
Sorry about my...
- Jeez, Glenn! Gosh! - Sheila, come on.
- No, Glenn. - It's game 7.
It's... Sheila!
Hey, how's it going?
Fuck off.
Tim Long!
Tim!
Tim Long.
Tim. Tim. Tim.
Your friend seems to be catching on.
He's not my friend.
He's more of a cruel joke I played on myself.
Well, he's no Dale Hawerchuk.
Sure.
That's my brother's favorite hockey player.
Not mine, though.
Okay. You got it.
If you asked me my favorite hockey player,
I definitely wouldn't say Dale Hawerchuk.
So, who's your favorite hockey player, Brenda?
Oh...
I guess I don't really have one.
This rink is cold.
- I'm sorry I make you fall. - I'm so sorry.
It felt like I was the only person in Hobart
who hadn't fallen in love with Stephane.
It's pamplemousse.
It's a fun word to say.
Made every female swoon.
He inspired a freaking parade.
Aw...
You've got to be fucking kidding me.
I'm not wearing this. Uh-uh.
And he was the star of the best team Hobart had seen in years.
With a real shot at beating our arch rival, Wingham.
No showboating.
Ooh la la, Stephane! Ooh la la, Stephane!
Hobart Squirrels are number one!
Get him the ball and watch him go!
Seven, huh? I love Hobart.
But one thing Stephane couldn't do was save my dad's failing business.
Sales are down this month. We got to work on our technique.
All right, Todd, let's try one out. You be the customer.
Hello, sir, I'm interested in the 1160...
Combine, but I'm not yet ready to pull the trigger.
Mmm-hmm. Okay, Geoff, you see how he uses his hands when he's talking?
- Oh, I'm sorry. - No. No.
It's not wrong or right.
It is just, uh, a trait for me to mirror,
when we're talking. That way you'll trust me.
And we'll establish rapport.
Oh, here comes Ivan.
Good news is he bringing today? Jesus, fuck.
Watch and learn, boys. Watch and learn.
Ivan.
What can I do you for?
Need to bring it back, Glenn. Things are really bad.
Uh-huh.
Okay. I hear you. I hear you, buddy.
I think if you take a look at our re-financing plans,
you really don't want to make the decision until such time as, uh...
I'll start the paperwork.
How's the wife?
Not good, Glenn. Not good.
Excellent. Excellente.
That was amazing, Tim Long.
You took that acetic acid. You sized it up and then titrated the shit out of it.
Uh, Tim. Tim, Tim.
Drive us to Mary's house, huh? She wants to make out.
Uh, no can do. Sorry.
Uh, because I promised I'd give Brenda a ride home.
I live right next to Brenda.
Amazing. We all go together.
- Formidable. Let's go. - Formidable.
Come on.
It's getting pretty snowy.
It's just flurries.
♪ Flurries...
♪ You got me in a hurry
♪ Just to shovel my driveway
♪ Squalls, I like you best of all ♪
Hey, do you mind if we're quiet?
I'm an anxious driver.
You got it.
Tim, pull over, eh?
Uh, no. No, it's fine. We keep going.
Jesus Christ!
Tim, she likes you, huh. Make with her.
Uh...
Did you learn to whisper in a helicopter?
Uh...
- Do you want to... - Yes.
Uh, play a word game?
Um...
I'll say the name of a place and then you can say another name of a place
that begins with the last letter of the place I said.
- I'll start with Canada. - Okay.
Arkansas. Guys, do you want to play? We're on "S."
Sault Ste. Marie.
That's a great one.
My cousin plays junior hockey there.
They must be good.
They're amazing.
- Tim, just do it. The time is now. - No.
- The time is now! - Okay.
I'll tell you what? I'll just get out.
No.
Ah... Ah... Oh...
Oh, it's snowing, it seems, huh?
That was crazy, Tim Long.
What letter are we on?
After that, it became clear
the person I had hoped would be my salvation,
my brother-in-arms, mon camarade, made me feel lonelier than ever.
So, while Stephane cut a swath through Hobart's female population,
I had never felt like more of an outsider.
Hobart's very own I'etranger.
Hey, Stephane.
Glenn.
You must tell Sheila your troubles, huh?
What troubles?
Oh, God. You're right.
I just don't want to worry her.
You worry her now. Remember, Glenn,
honest, lead to close. And close, lead to sexy.
You're a wise man, Stephane.
Hash browns?
Not so wise for Tim, I think.
- He hate me. - No, no, no.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Maybe.
Oh, yeah, no, I'm pretty sure he does.
The thing about Tim is, and I say this both as a father and a salesman.
You can't coax him to do things. He's got to be forced.
You got to drag him to yes.
You'll thank me later.
Tim. Tim.
- Wake up. We must go. Allez. - What? What?
Where are the keys to the car?
Stephane, what's going on?
Did you get in trouble?
Did you get a girl pregnant? Did you get a bunch of girls pregnant?
Do you have AIDS?
Oh, I saw... Are you driving with your knees?
Tim, chill out.
- "Chill out." - You have to trust me, Tim.
What? How the hell did you get your license?
- I don't have license. - You don't have a license?
I'm not stupid. That's why we take the back roads.
Okay, stop the car right now.
Pull over, and you have to tell me where we are going.
Okay, okay, we are going to McDonalds.
- To McDonalds? - Why? I know you love McDonalds.
And it's only three hours away. I look at the map.
- Stop the car. - Burgers for breakfast, Tim.
- It is like dream come true for you. - I don't care, stop the car.
Okay, so that's not my fault.
You said stop, so I stopped, so we stop.
Oh, my... Get out.
- What? - Get out. Get out of the car.
- Why? - Because I'm driving us home.
Okay, fine.
Don't yell at me, huh.
Whoa, whoa.
Shit.
Tim, I feel like I have done things to make you not like me.
Oh, what do you think?
If you tell me the things, I will not do them again.
Okay, you know, why don't we start with the drinking,
the smoking, the sex in the backseat,
the porn and all that constant...
What was that?
I think you hit something.
- Shit, shit, shit. - Oh...
- Oh, my God. - I think you kill him.
- Her. - It's a girl?
Yeah, it's a cow.
Of course it's a girl.
Oh.
You're angry, aren't you, huh?
- Did not like to kill the cow? - No.
I... I don't enjoy killing cows.
But you, uh, eat McDonalds.
That's not the same.
And you wear the shoes of leather sometimes.
Okay, stop. Stop. Please stop talking.
We're in a world of shit here.
God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Fuck.
Tim, you break your mom's car.
You know what?
Before you came here, my life was already a steaming pile of shit.
But since you've been here, you've put so much shit
on top of this shit that was already there,
I can't even see where the original shit was.
Hey, can you look at me when I'm talking to you?
It's my fault.
I don't what kind of fucking asshole
writes to another country to get a friend.
- Tim, Tim. - You've taken a dump on my soul.
- Tim. - What?
I don't know what to say.
So I will just say this.
He is alive.
What?
The Jesus cow, huh?
He rise from the dead.
She.
She, uh... She rise from the dead.
Oui.
Oh, my God.
I mean, she looks okay. We must have just stunned her.
Just fantastique, huh? Look at her go.
You know what, Tim?
Things, they work out.
I've got something here.
- Oh... - Here we go.
Come on, come on.
To the Jesus cow.
Go on.
I don't know how many friendships begin by almost killing a cow,
but for Stephane and me,
it seemed to work.
Hey, Tim.
We share happy time now.
Yeah, I guess.
Yeah.
Just don't say it.
It's weird.
♪ There's this girl that's been on my mind
♪ All the time
♪ Su-Sussudio
Drive with your knees.
Okay, come on.
♪ Now she don't even know my name
♪ But I think she likes me just the same ♪
And as we danced in our seats to mindless synth pop,
we realized we couldn't take the car home just yet.
Not with a cow-sized dent in it.
Thankfully Stephane came up with a very plausible cover story.
So, we look out the window and we see the thief getting in the car.
So, Tim, you know, Tim, he run out and he says, "Stop, arret."
"This is the car of my mother that she want to go get the groceries"
"and to visit various locations."
Mmm-hmm.
That's a direct quote.
Tim said that?
He's a hero, Glenn.
He did it.
♪ Now I know that I'm too young ♪
I didn't have any money to pay for the repairs
but Stephane helped me pay back the Crowfoots
in other, more creative ways.
Oh, tres bien.
One day you speak the French as good as me.
Well, you know, I could lend you some French films if you'd like.
Bande a part. A bout de souffle.
Unless you've already seen them.
The French new wave.
Talk about pretentious.
Who said that?
Well, I think it was Brenda.
- Oh, that Brenda. - Okay, listen.
Le cercle rouge is so not pretentious.
I'm gonna lend it you and you're gonna watch it.
Okay, sir Tim Long.
I was beginning to feel something bizarre
and completely alien to me.
Happiness.
Tim, he is so clever, huh.
He knows everything about the music.
And books.
Yeah?
I do.
Sometimes I'll be reading a book,
laying back, reading a book,
and then I'll just be rocking out.
I would be reading, rocking,
I'll be rocking and reading.
Reading about rocking, back and forth.
I dig it. Yeah, yeah.
He kill me, Tim.
Tim, he kill me, he kill everyone here.
- Yeah. - Yeah, yeah.
I'm like the Upper Canada Rebellion of 1838.
Oh, 'cause that killed several people.
Lots, yeah, killed lots of people.
Hanged. They were all hanged.
That's funny.
Very funny.
Glenn!
Glenn, she's back!
♪ I just say the word ♪
She came back.
Hello, I am Stephane Belmadi.
I, uh... I love to fuck the women, I like to do the dance,
I like to fuck the mail box,
the toaster.
I love the cigarette.
I don't do any of that.
I would not fuck a toaster.
I think you would.
Stop, stop. Get out of here.
My turn.
This is what Tim says.
He says, uh...
Howdy, I'm Tim.
- I like to fuck the book... - No, no, no...
- No, no, no, no. - Fuck the book...
That's a library copy.
And I don't fuck Camus, so...
But seriously, Tim.
Why? Why? Why, you not like the girl, huh?
What?
I love the girl.
You know how much I love the girl.
No, I do like the girl, a lot. I just don't...
I... I think I just prefer not to talk to them
or... Or bother them
or touch... Or touch them.
Are you gay, huh?
- You like the boy? - Mmm-mmm.
- No, it's okay, you like the boys. - No, no, no.
No, I like girls a lot. I just, um...
I just don't see why they would like me.
What? Why?
You've good face, very clean.
You, uh,
- have a nice penis, huh? - Mmm.
I see it in the bathroom, Tim.
Huh? Wow.
Thank you?
This Brenda...
- She like you, I think. - Oh, you know, I think...
I mean, I like her, too. She's really pretty and...
I... I... What do I do?
- How do I... - Huh? You tell her. Easy.
What, do you want me to go up and say,
"Hey, Brenda, I'm super into you and I like your..."
"Your stupid songs and your weird hair."
"And if you ask me to touch your boobs,"
"I would probably say yes."
"And, hey, well, see you later. See you in history."
"I think we're learning about Sir Wilfrid Laurier."
It's perfect.
You say just that.
And I like that little crinkle between your eyes when you smile.
And I like that your skin smells like a Crispy Crunch bar.
And when I see you I just wanna...
What do you wanna do, Tim?
What, we are going?
Oh, fuck.
Uh, Tim, I hope you are okay.
It's important to drink the water.
You drink the water, you not get sick.
- Okay. - This way.
- This way, this way. - Okay.
Oh, my...
Voila!
Happy Birthday, Sheila.
- Tim, ooh la la. - Oui, oui.
Thank you so much boys. J'adore.
Happy Birthday, Sheila.
Mmm.
Here you go.
Thank you.
Wow, okay.
Fifty-four dollars.
Maybe I'll go to the dollar store and buy 54 things.
And remember to support
the White Squirrel this afternoon. It's a big game against Wingham.
Go, White Squirrels!
Hey, hey, good luck with the big game.
Huh? And good luck with your, uh...
Yep, my, uh... My French presentation in front of the entire class.
Exactement. I predict you make a big wow.
Well, score a sport point for me.
While Stephane was getting ready for the biggest game of the year,
not everybody was rooting for him to be the hero.
Dude can't take a fucking joke.
Let's go, White Squirrels! Come on!
Let's go, White Squirrels.
Come on, Stephane.
What are you doing there?
Use the wing.
Give it to the wing.
Come on.
Way to go, brown clown.
Yeah, brown clown, way to go.
All right.
Hey.
Hey, that's a foul.
- Move it, move it. - Watch your feet, brown clown.
Uh, I'm sorry, I'm really nervous.
It's okay, it's okay.
You know what, you can do your presentation in English.
The film is in French.
Okay. Thank you.
Um...
Now you'll immediately see the director uses
costuming and lighting to convey mood.
And, um, we open on a protagonist, who's a thief.
A con, a cheat.
A cock smoker.
And he's...
I love the girl.
You know how much I love the girl.
Oh, shit.
Watch your feet, brown fucking clown.
Oh!
No, I like girls a lot. I just don't...
"I like girls." What a freak.
Tim wants to get on Brenda Crowfoot!
Loser.
I think that I would probably say yes.
Stop it.
This is the greatest thing ever.
Come on. Come on.
Damn it!
Well, son, I'm not one to point fingers,
never have been, not my nature.
But, uh, you just fucked the entire town.
It's not my fault.
Not your fault? Well, whose fault is it?
Uh, Colonel Gadhafi, hmm?
You're a disgrace, son.
You're disgrace to the White Squirrel.
There, I said it! Okay? I said it.
Fuck you
and fuck your White Squirrel.
And fuck this piece of shit town!
- Shame on you! - I'll be okay. Huh?
Enough!
Me? You saw what he did. This...
It's not how we do things in Hobart.
Oh, yeah. No. We just victimize teenage boys
because we're scared and jealous that they're not like us.
Sure.
You know what? I don't think I can be with a man that I don't respect.
We need to take a break.
I'll pick up my stuff on the weekend.
What? Hmm?
Nothing.
You wanna give me 20?
- No. - Twenty laps?
High stepping. Let's go.
- High stepping. Let's go! - I'm sorry. Ow!
Come on, let's go.
I guess you got to finally see the real Hobart.
I do not believe this.
They say Canada is just the ugly friend of the USA.
But I loved this ugly friend.
Yeah, I know.
They can only fool you for so long.
Yeah, I don't understand.
Hey, Brenda, you're gonna go make out with Tim Long?
What?
No. I have Cape Breton step dancing.
I'm nice to them. I say nice...
Hey, Brenda, Tim Long is waiting for you.
- He's just dying to see you. - And your boobs.
Like I said, I have Cape Breton step dance
on a Wednesday, so...
Why is everyone asking me about Tim Long?
You total dick!
- Tim. - Was that supposed to be funny?
You swapped that stupid video we made for Le Cercle Rouge.
- That was my presentation! - No.
No, you told me that you wanted to show the movie to Brenda.
- What? - Come on, Long.
She's right there, hump it out.
No, I sw... I switched the movie to push you, huh,
because I want Brenda to see how much you like her.
Okay, what movie?
Stephane swapped Le Cercle Rouge for this stupid video we took,
and the whole class saw me say how much I like your hair
and your stupid songs and how much I want to kiss you.
You did?
Tim, I was trying to be a good friend.
You humiliated me.
You made me look like an idiot. You ruined my life.
You're no friend of mine.
No, of course, because you have no friends,
not me, not anyone.
You know, what they're saying about you is true.
You're a no-friend loser.
You're a self-centered, narcissistic, sex crazed,
- thoroughly absurd... - What?
Okay, so you like my hair?
No, I don't like your hair.
I... I... I was drunk.
And he made me say things I don't mean to say.
I don't like your hair or your stupid songs or you!
I don't like you!
Brenda.
Shit.
You know, I wish I not choose you,
huh, or this bucket of shit place.
Yeah, well, I wish that, too.
Va te faire foutre!
Please, somebody!
Mom! Mom!
Where are the Doritos? And where's Mom?
"Dearest Tim, I've decided to move out of the house for a..."
- What? - It gets worse.
Well, maybe not worse, but it starts bad, stays bad.
Your dad is a wonderful man,
but it's been clear for some time
that my life is missing a certain je ne sais quoi.
"Je ne sais quoi"?
Yeah, je ne sais quoi.
God, fucking Stephane.
Language.
I... I couldn't believe I'd invited this chaos into my life.
You can come stay with us for as long as you need.
Thank you.
It wasn't just me shunning Stephane.
The school had turned on him, too.
He'd lost us a soccer match and called our town a piece of shit.
Which it might have been,
but they didn't like hearing it from someone like him.
If they were looking for a reason to turn on a stranger in their town,
they'd found one.
Looks good.
Ah...
- Hi. - How are you?
Yeah, I'm good.
Sit down, let's chat.
Uh, how's Aunt Thelma?
She snores. One night, at 4:00 in the morning, she...
I can't believe Stephane made you leave.
What?
I mean, you know I'm agnostic,
but I think he might literally be a demon.
Tim! Things have not been great
between your dad and I for a very long time.
Okay? Stephane is not to blame and neither are you.
Yeah. Nobody's blaming me.
I'm... I'm great.
Yeah, you're great. You're great.
- Come here. - Who would blame me?
Come here. Nobody is blaming you.
- Sheila? - Mmm, just a sec.
Sheila?
Love you so much.
Oh. Hey.
Is that Kevin?
- Yeah, it's Kevin. Yeah, he looks pissed. - Just 10 seconds. Please.
Sheila!
This better not be about the fucking acorn, okay?
- It's not about the acorn. - Okay.
You're gonna be at the parade tomorrow, right? Okay?
Try to remember that most people are not really bad
and not really stupid, okay?
They're just doing the best that they can.
- Yes, Kevin. - It's about the acorn.
I knew it was about the fucking acorn.
The town, the squirrel and my life.
What...
Putain, merde, shit!
You know why I come here?
I thought it would be different, huh.
Where I'm from, the kids who look like me,
they only hang out with people who look like me.
In Hobart,
it's the same,
maybe because Hobart is shit.
Huh. Canada is shit!
They'll always find a way to screw you.
- I... I need to go clear my head. - Here, take the truck.
Thank you, Crowfeet.
The next morning, as everyone was getting ready for the parade,
all I could think about was where Stephane was,
and who else's life he might be ruining.
Whoa.
Okay, we, uh... We gotta...
- We gotta stay calm. - Why?
It's not fair!
Kev, it's gonna be okay. Maybe we can fix it.
It won't be the same! They ruined her!
"Her"?
Who could do such a thing?
I'll give you three guesses.
Stephane?
He's not that kind of kid.
Mmm.
- Is he? - Well, you tell me.
There's the head butt, huh?
There's the, uh...
"Fuck the White Squirrel," right?
Plus, I saw him hanging around the town hall at 3:00 this morning.
So you think Stephane did this?
What I think is we don't know shit, son.
Of course we won't know anything
until we get the autopsy results back.
Appears to be a single assailant.
Subcutaneous abrasions along the right femur there.
It looks like there's some flesh underneath the claws,
which means the victim did fight back.
Tell me she didn't suffer.
Oh, Kevin, I would love to be able to tell you that,
but I'm not a liar.
We don't know anything about this guy.
I heard his old man did some jail time.
Well, that's true. It's in his file.
I read the file too, Gary.
His dad was arrested during labor protest.
- He was the head of the union. - Mmm-hmm.
Take this down to the lab. Have the boys check it for blood, urine, semen.
- Yes, sir. - My point exactly.
Troublemaker, born and bred.
The apple never falls far from the tree.
Okay. Maybe he came here for a fresh start.
Fresh start? The only thing he got fresh with is Herb's daughter.
Yeah... What?
Fresh with your daughter.
Did you have a hand in this?
What? No, no, no, no, I haven't...
He's not staying... He's staying with the Crowfoots.
Right. Shooting off guns.
He hit my car last night.
Maybe he was aiming at my gas tank.
Ka-boom!
Make my wife a widow.
All right, why don't you quit crying into your Dinky Donuts
and bring him in, hmm?
Sure thing, Gary.
Yeah, there is no way. There's no freaking way.
I know he hated the White Squirrel, but...
Yeah, I know, but he was with you last night, right?
Sure, until he took my brother's truck
and drove off into the direction of the town.
Super furious. And then,
he came back this morning looking...
Mega-guilty.
But still, there's no freaking way.
Okay, look, I need you to do something for me.
No, I am not doing anything for you.
That tractor has sailed.
Okay. Would you do it for Stephane?
Stephane was many things...
Oversexed, intellectually bereft,
permanently erect.
But I knew he wasn't a liar or a criminal.
And I had to make the town see that, too.
- Hi. - Hi.
Brenda.
That is crazy. That is so weird.
Tim Long? What are the chances of that?
One in a million, maybe.
I don't know how he got here. That's too weird.
I just can't believe it.
I... I never knew this could never happen.
It's the weirdest thing.
What do you want, Tim?
Listen, you're in big trouble. Okay? Because they think you did that.
Just like Paris.
Something go wrong, blame Stephane.
The squirrel get broken, you blame Stephane.
Money go missing, you blame Stephane.
Substitute teacher gets pregnant,
blame Stephane.
What?
Fuck. Shit.
- Okay, come on. - Why?
Come on. Come on. Come on.
Okay. Put these on.
Please, it's your turn to trust me.
I can't see shit. Which way are we going?
If you're gonna let your kids come to the parade,
you can't let 'em play with the beaver tails, okay?
They play with their bottoms all day,
next thing you know, there's baby shit in the beaver.
That's why you don't adopt.
I went to the Crowfoots', and he was already gone.
Damn it, Herb. You had one job to do.
- I'm sorry, Gary. - Mmm-hmm.
I saw their truck on the edge of town.
He might be here somewhere.
No shit. He's probably trying to finish what he started.
He only wants to ruin our whole damn parade.
- He wouldn't. - He wouldn't?
Oh, he hates this town, and everything we stand for, Herb.
Peace, freedom, more traditional way of life.
- Hi, Gary. - Kev.
Now, listen, I want you to do
a thorough sweep of the entire parade route, okay?
And you let me know when you have eyes on that son of a bitch.
Yes, sir.
Tim! Tim! Tim! Where are we going?
What's the plan, Tim?
People will hear the accent!
I don't have accent, you have accent!
Hey, guys, I actually can't see anything, so...
SOS!
Tim, Brenda is falling.
Oh, fuck!
Let me help you up. Give me your hand.
Hey, that Mexican fuck is actually that Arab fuck!
No, no, no. I am a Mexican.
Uh, por favor!
Hey, it's him!
That's him!
That's the perp!
Fuck.
Fuck! Fuck!
Get out of my way. Get out of my way.
Right then, I knew I had to stand up for Stephane,
and make the town see what I saw in him,
because that's what friends do for each other.
Stop the parade! Stop.
Stop the parade.
What are we dancing for? I didn't know there was gonna be a dance.
Stop.
This is fun, but who is that?
What do you think I'm doing? Stop.
I'm not dancing. Stop the parade.
Stop the...
Stop the friggin' parade.
What are you doing, Long?
Hey, Gary.
Look what the cat dragged in.
No, no, no. Let him go, please.
Let him go. Please, let him go.
- You're ruining my parade. - Just hold on.
Uh...
Okay.
Now I know I've never been the most popular kid in school...
No shit!
Okay.
Uh, and I know a lot of you probably think I'm some...
You're a creep!
- Nerd. - That's right.
Go make another tape, you pervert.
Go bang Brenda.
Everyone hates you.
Okay.
Well, uh, I just want to say that Stephane...
Stephane Belmade is my friend, and he's a really great guy.
Okay, come on.
And I know he would never do that to the squirrel.
But how do you know, Tim?
Yeah!
Because... Because I just know.
I just know.
And if you're not willing to give a visitor to our town
the benefit of the doubt,
then I'm not sure I have anything left to say to you.
Okey-doke.
Wait, no, wait. Can you stop, please?
It's a figure of speech. I have a little bit more to say.
Stephane Belmade has done so much for so many of us.
Yeah.
You know, he came here and he was ready to see the best in all of us,
but we chose to see the worst in him
because of what, because of the way he looks.
But, look, it's not too late.
We can launch a full-scale investigation, we could...
Whoa, whoa, whoa, we know what he did.
- Yeah. - Okay?
I saw him break into town hall yelling, "Fuck ze White Squirrel!"
- Okay. - "Fuck it. Fuck it hard!"
Okay, that can't be true. Stephane, where were you last night?
Yeah.
Tell us.
I cannot say where I was. Desole.
Herb, take him away.
- Wait. - Yes, sir.
- No, no, no. - Wait!
Glenn?
Stephane was with me.
- Come on. - What?
And thank friggin' Christ he was.
Where to begin? Uh...
Seven years ago,
the Canadian government made a series of disastrous economic decisions...
Dad!
Maybe... Maybe start nearer the end.
Smart boy. I just wanted to give them a bit of context,
put a backstory there, but, uh...
Hello? Um...
Like a lot of youse,
I've got a business that's going under.
Last night, I was desperate, on the verge of losing everything.
Hey!
Glenn, what are you doing, huh?
Stephane threw me in a chair,
made me some coffee and talked some sense into me.
"Glenn, you get caught, you go to jail!"
"You cannot do that to Tim and to Sheila. They love you so much."
Uh, I can't really do the accent that good.
Anyways, he sat with me all night.
He didn't leave my side, did you, my little French buddy?
Mr. Long's telling the truth!
There's a bonfire in there!
Hold on a moment.
You couldn't have seen Stephane.
So, where did you spend last night, Gary?
Me?
Fuck.
Uh...
I was with Diane.
Of course, we were, uh...
Engaging in...
Rather heavy petting,
that led to full-blown, penetrative intercourse.
Are you insane?
I am right here, and that didn't happen.
Could have happened.
Hey!
Don't let him get away!
Oh!
I'm sure you can guess who actually did destroy the squirrel.
By dinner time, everyone just forgot their race-based witch-hunt,
their xenophobic rush to judgment,
their ethnically-motivated vigilantism...
You get the point.
Tim Long, you stand up for me.
In front of the whole town.
These people, they hate you.
No, I...
I wouldn't say "Hate."
Oui. Oui, oui.
They said terrible things about you.
"Tim Long is a bookworm." "Tim Long is a loser."
"Tim Long is needle-dicked, four-eyes shit boy."
I actually haven't heard that one.
Terrible things. Me, I don't say these things
- because... - Who said "Shit boy?"
Well, once, because we are meilleurs copains.
Meilleurs copains.
I guess we are.
Oh, God. Okay. I've gotta...
I gotta do something.
Bonne chance.
Go get her, Tim Long.
Why didn't you tell me about the business going in the crapper?
'Cause I'm an idiot.
We might have to sell the house.
Mmm.
We've rented before.
Maybe your mom will die soon too. She's got cash, right?
We'll figure it out.
We always do.
We still got what's most important.
You're... You're talking about us being together, right?
- Yes, Glenn. - Yeah.
Well, maybe we should tell Tim that we've patched things up.
Oh, I mean...
We've started the difficult and painful journey
towards patching things up.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Good.
Hello, Tim Long.
I thought what you did today was not un-heroic,
and maybe...
I... I... I'm really sorry, Brenda.
I... I do like your hair, and your crazy songs, and I...
Hi.
Don't let us stop you.
They were watching the whole time?
It's a good technique, huh?
Not bad.
I can... I can feel you looking. Please stop.
I don't know... I don't know why you're staring.
We're very proud of you.
All right.
- "All right" what? - Just hold still.
Okay.
The rest of Stephane's stay with us was, well, kind of terrific.
Some of the best times I've ever had.
You know, if you look closely,
you can see the framing's really been influenced by Godard and Truffaut...
I made a mistake. Okay?
So, you haul me in.
If the coach hadn't dropped me for the play-offs,
you wouldn't be staring at me right here,
broken, humiliated, soiled.
But like all of life's loveliest things,
it was over way too soon.
Oh, I'm so sorry we weren't up
to your high standards, Jean-Claude...
Terrible cuisine, terrible town, terrible country.
Screw you!
Let's go.
Hey, look.
It's the Hobart posse, huh?
Hey!
There you are.
We came to say goodbye.
And we're sorry.
We drew certain conclusions
based on you being different.
And that's wrong.
In Hobart, we pride ourselves
in treating everyone equally,
regardless of race.
Oh, you're being serious.
What we mean is, uh,
we were wrong.
I will miss this Hobart.
I want to make love on all of you.
Thank you.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is the last call
for flight number 827 to Paris.
We're gonna miss you, buddy.
Bonne chance, my brown-skinned friend.
We are meilleurs copains.
Best friends.
I'll go now.
Yeah.
I'll write to you.
I'll write to you, Tim Long.
And I'll use the big words you teach me.
Diaphanous.
Stephane might not have been what I wanted,
but it turned out he was what I needed.
And I think he needed me too.
He might not have enlightened me on Truffaut
- or how to conjugate a verb... - Hey.
But he taught me things I'll never forget.
About love,
life,
second chances...
- Bye, Stephane. - Bye, Tim Long.
And how to undo a bra with one hand.
Sexy nerd couple.
Tim Long, are you wearing cologne?
Yeah. Yeah, well, you know what they say.
"Before sex happens in the pants, it happens in the nose."
Oh.
As I waved goodbye,
I didn't know whether it was au revoir or adieu.
But I did know that Stephane had changed my life...
Forever.
Bonjour! We made it to Paris,
my dream city, the heart of all culture and all that is good.
We made it. We made it.
Tim, look.
I made the Eiffel Tower my cock.
I know.
Hey, Tim, you come jerk me off, huh?
It'd be funny. You jerk me off.
Okay. When in Paris.
Yeah.
Oh, oh!
Okay.
Tim, you're next!
- Okay. - You're next!
♪ Tim is in Paris
♪ Hip-hop is cool
♪ This is very fun ♪
Whoo!
Oh, whoa. Freeze it.
Come on, Tim.
"Shit boy."
"Shit boy," huh?
Hold it.
Tell me you're getting this. This is an incredible and classic Maillol.
You got the brave use of colors and the bold brushstrokes,
and, of course, it's Dina, his muse. He painted a lot of her.
I mean, this is...
This is unbelievable. Really?
Tim, I tell you, this is the real masterpiece.
How can I ask for a non-alcoholic drink?
Ah.
Okay.
Uh, excuse me.
What the fuck is this?
I did not do anything.
Burgers for breakfast, here in Paris.
It's pretty good.
Pretty good.
Cheers.