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Cloyd: [stutters] You should've s-seen him.
He was so... s-s-scared.
[laughs]
[muffled screams]
I-I like this one...
[laughs maniacally]
Woman: Alright. Alright.
Let's have a look at him.
♪♪
[Sighs]
Can you turn that down?
Aw, come on, man. You love this stuff.
I love folk.
That is not folk.
[ Music stops ]
Hey. I was into that.
So sorry.
Hey, there, Sleeping Beauty.
Good morning, beautiful. How'd you sleep?
Aaron: Shitty.
I got to piss.
Okay. Well, no worries.
We're about to pull over right up here for some barbecue.
We've been passing signs for the last half hour.
Whoo-whoo!
Oh, yeah.
We've been seeing signs all morning.
Barbecue?
Meat?
Way out here?
Mmm.
♪♪
Oh, yeah.
Smell that? That smells good.
Do you think a health inspector has ever been out here before?
[whispers] Shut up, Aaron.
Hey, look, guys.
Some of the best food you're ever gonna eat
is in the boonies like this.
Yeah. Cool, Marcus.
I can't think of a better way to start a weekend of camping
than shitting my guts out.
[Sighs] Oh, yeah, and I get to wipe my ass with leaves.
Enough.
Jesus, he's on fire already.
Yeah, tell me about it.
You boys just find yourselves a seat,
and we'll be with you in a second.
Thank you very much.
[Sighs] I'm gonna go ahead and guess
there aren't any, uh, vegetarian options.
Onion rings, Aaron.
Just get the onion rings.
Deep-fried.
Will: Can you not be an asshole right now?
-Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. -Please?
-Asshole? -Yeah. -Moi?
Yeah. You know what you're doing.
You do this every time I invite you out anywhere.
Seriously, man, I'm trying to be nice.
Marcus: Anything good on that menu?
How about now?
Oh, yeah.
The brisket's good.
[Laughs] Ouch.
Okay.
Anyway, I'm Marcus.
I'm here with some friends, doing a little camping.
You from around here?
Nope. Just passing through.
I feel you.
Actually, that's just part --
Hailey!
What in the hell's going on here?
Can we help you?
Can you help me?
[Scoffs]
Oh, I'm sorry. I-I didn't know she was...
Well, you didn't really ask, now, did you?
Jeremy, it's fine. Stop.
No, Hailey, it's not fine.
Hey, uh, I'm not trying to start nothing.
Oh, you ain't trying to start nothing, huh?
Well, it's a little late for that.
Jeremy, stop!
Don't touch me.
Will: Hey, what's going on over here, guys?
Oh, nothing. This guy's just being an aggro-redneck asshole.
Oh, is that right?
And what are you gonna do about it, boy?
Back up off me.
Jeremy!
You piece of shit!
Will: Whoa, whoa, whoa!
-Son of a bitch! -Come on.
Hailey: Just get the hell out of here.
Will: Alright, guys. Come on. Take it easy.
-Out! -What?
Marcus: But they started it.
I don't give a shit. Get out of here!
Alright. Come on, now.
-God damn it, dude! -We're leaving.
Hailey: Go. Now.
Let's go.
♪♪
[ Kissing, heavy breathing ]
-Holy shit! -What the fuck was that?
Woman: Oh, my God. It's an animal.
Wait. What are you...?
Aww.
Poor thing.
Ah, it was just a bird.
I mean, the stupid thing probably just flew
into the window, anyway.
I don't know why you're so concerned about it.
We should bury it.
I'm not gonna take 30 minutes in the woods.
Look at the poor thing.
I mean, I would rather just get in the car, honestly.
Come on.
You want to bury a bird?
Aww, look at it.
It's our fault. It was our window.
But it flew into the window.
I mean, it's not really our fault.
It deserves a burial.
Right here? In the middle of the woods?
It'll take you five minutes.
That's five minut--
[Screaming]
♪♪
Marcus: That girl had a good hook.
[scoffs] Yeah, I'll say.
Oh, great food recommendation, guys.
Oh, and thank you, Marcus.
That was quite a show you put on back there.
Ha! Fuck you, too.
Are we almost there yet?
Yeah. Almost.
The trail is, like, 10 minutes up the road, man.
You know, I still can't believe that we actually agreed to spend
the entire weekend out here, in the middle of nowhere.
My God, you two.
You say "nowhere" like it's a bad thing.
You know what?
I think this is gonna be good for the both of you.
Yeah. Wide open spaces, some fresh...
air, surrounded by nature.
[Sighs]
Will: Oh, what, Aaron.
What were you gonna be doing this weekend, anyway?
Sitting at the bar, and hoping someone slides into your DMs?
Whatever, man. At least there's plumbing.
Hey, plumbing's a plus.
Marcus, my friend, indoor plumbing is overrated.
And it's 2019.
You know, if you can't piss outside, I don't know --
Whoa.
Take a look at those guys...
Right there.
♪♪
Whoof.
[Sighs]
Can you even imagine where your life must've led you
to end up like one of those guys,
on the side of this road?
God.Yeah. I can.
They probably live out here.
[Scoffs] Lucky guys.
Where did you guys get so cool, huh?
What makes you so cool?
Your stupid phones?
Yeah, well, I mean...
I do have access to more information
than any human in history.
Well...did, anyway.
But I guess it's not a big deal.
Yeah?
Well, does your phone change a tire, Aaron?
What?'Cause I'm sure that you can't.
And you know what?Here we go.
I bet a lot of people out here can.
Yeah. These people are honest and hard-working.
You know, intelligence comes in many shapes and --
Whatever, man.
These people just give me the creeps, all right?
Alright. Look, can we at least agree
that we're gonna have a good time this weekend, guys?
Hmm?
Good. Great.
I'm so glad that we can agree on that.
♪♪
Jeremy: Damn it, girl!
What'd I say about slamming that?
Why do you always have to act like that, huh?
Like what?Like what?
At the restaurant, moron.Moron?
I had to punch that fella 'cause of you.
'Cause of me?
I didn't make you punch anyone, Hailey.
That was all you.Bullshit!
You know if I hadn't done that,
you would've started a brawl with them.
That guy was coming on to you, and you know it.
Oh. I was ignoring it, Jeremy!
Oh, you was ignoring it, huh?Yes!
You was ignoring it, Hailey? You know what, that's it.
I'm not doing this with you.
I'mma go into town, and pick up supplies for tomorrow.
Fine.
You can stay here, and do whatever the hell this is.
Bullshit's what it is.
You're bullshit.
♪♪
Whoo!
Yeah! We're here, boys!
[laughs]
Well, almost here, anyway.
Aaron: Great.
It's just a short walk through the woods.
It's not far.
And Casey and Jordan should be set up by the time we get there.
You know, Will...
Hmm-mm.
When you told me you were having a bachelor's party...
Hmm-mm.
I imagined some good drinks... You know, an actual party.
Me taking your money in hold 'em.
Something like that.
Will: Oh.
Well, I'll have you know that there will be drinks.
And we will party.
It's gonna be I who is taking all of your money.
[Chuckles]
This...
...just happens to be where I like to party.
You're a weird dude, Will.
You might be right.
Hey, Will, um, didn't Chloe and her friends
go to New York City for her bachelorette party?
uh...yeah.
Wow.
That sounds like a lot of fun.
Yeah, that's my point.
[Sighs]
Aaron, you don't make anything easy, do you?
What do you mean?
Oh, my God.
What?
You are not wearing those for a weekend of hiking, are you?
I wasn't gonna waste money on hiking boots.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.
Well, don't worry about it.
Here you go. I thought of it.
Seriously? Yeah.
Where are these from? Your basement?
Yes, Aaron. They are.
I knew you were gonna do this. Just put them on.
Marcus: Oh, shit, Aaron. You're gonna look so fly.
[Laughter]
Okay, you guys. We've got to get moving.
It's just a short little hike through the woods.
Hey, uh, Will... um...
what do you define as a, you know, short hike?
Oh...
you know...
...about 3 miles.
Oh...
Just...
pretend we're back in Pap-Pap's woods.
Aaron: Yeah.
And you guys would always pretend you were monsters.
Oh, God, Aaron.
Loosen up.
Suck it up, fellas.
It's not gonna kill us.
♪♪
[Snorting]
[Humming]
[Snorting]
♪♪
[Sobbing]
♪♪
[Snorting]
[Indistinct muttering]
♪♪
Aw, damn it!
Casey, what? What's wrong?
Did we forget the speaker in the car?
Damn!
I think we might have.
Or...
maybe...
I...
...double checked.
Oh, yeah!
Thanks, Jordie.
Hey!
Is anyone out there?
It's not funny.
Will?
[ Rustling ]Who's there?
♪♪
[Screams]Oh, my God!
Dude, you're an asshole.
Casey: You scared the shit out of us, man.
What's wrong with you?
Hey, don't blame me, alright?
It was all Marcus' idea.
-Guilty as charged. -Of course.
Yeah, I had nothing to do with it.
Oh. Aaron.
Hey, man.
Glad you could come.
Yeah.[ Fly buzzing ]
Hi.
[Scoffs]
Well, I'm just so happy we were all able to get together.
Yo, you ready to celebrate
your last wild ride as a bachelor, baby?
You know I am.
Okay. So, you can set up your tents anywhere.
Casey and I basically have everything else covered.
Do you guys happen to have that coffee we had
when we hiked The Falls last month?
-Hell, yeah, brother. -That's awesome.
'Cause that was, like, the best coffee I've ever had in my life.
Right? Really packs a punch.
Will: Certainly does.
Speaking of stiff drinks, check this out, fellas.
Aaron: Whoa.
Where did you get that?
About an hour outside of town.
This, my friends, happens to be one of the region's finest,
most vintage moonshines.
Are we gonna go blind?
With any luck we will, yeah. [Laughs]
Okay.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait. This is...This is a reward,
And we've still got a lot to do --
kindling, cooking, water, tents --
the fun stuff, guys.
Alright? So...break.
Let's go! Let's get out there!
-"The fun stuff." Did he say that?
-Yeah. "The fun stuff." -"The fun stuff."
Casey: Man, I'm so happy that Marcus made it out for the weekend.
The Crawford Street Gang's back together, baby.
will: Hell, yeah, man. It's been too long.
What, like, two years since his big Philly move.
No shit? Yeah.
That long, huh?
I miss him.
Yeah, well...
good on him for coming out here, right?
I mean, we both know it's not his thing.
This his first time camping?
The only other time I remember is when we were pup scouts.
[Splutters with laughter]
Didn't go great.
Well, I'm sure he's gonna have a way better time this time.
Well, let's hope so.
Don't this shit come with any instructions?
I'm so pumped for this hike tomorrow, man.
I honestly don't think we've ever been this remote before.
Well, Montana was close.
But that was a national park. I understand.
There's nothing like a fresh untamed trail.
This is true.
Well, the trail that we're going on, freaking sweet, dude.
It has us going around this, like, massive gorge.
No shit?Yes, shit.
Sweet!Yeah.
[Clears throat] So, uh...
Aaron.
How's he gonna be?
He'll be good.
I mean, he should be, right?
Besides, he can go one weekend
without a Goddamn latte.
[Laughs]
I hope.
God damn it!
Sick, sick!
Sick [echoes]
Uh, we better head back
before that tent kills Marcus.
Yeah.Yeah.
Okay. Take it easy, Daniel Boone.
Don't hurt yourself, alright?
-Relax, bud. -We got it from here.
Casey: Where's the AB slot?
[Laughs]
Casey: Let me try to stick mine in yours.
[Sighs]
You okay back there?
Aaron: Yeah.
You want to sit for a minute?
[Panting] Yeah. Yeah. Sure.
Okay. Oh.
[Exhales]
You know, I didn't think you were gonna come.
I know you're not into this whole outdoors-y stuff we do.
Yeah. I mean, wouldn't miss it.
Yeah.
So, the whole server analyst thing is going pretty well?
Will says you got promoted?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's going really good.
Um... I mean, you know...
it's... it's pretty easy.
See, you're turning out alright after all.
[Exhales] Yeah.
I mean, I guess water is, uh, sort of our thing, huh?
Huh? I'm sorry, what do you mean?
Um, you remember the first time we met, right?
Oh, yeah!
Your head was in the toilet.
[Giggles]
Yeah, but... I mean that,
like, I passed out, and I left the sink running.
Oh.
Yeah. True.
My first encounter with whiskey wasn't my proudest moment.
I'll say.
Why -- Why did you take care of me that night?
Somebody had to.
And I'm pretty sure Will was very preoccupied
with Chloe that night.
I just never had a girl take care of me before.
Huh?
Uh, not- nothing.
Do you mind?
Oh, yeah. Not at all.
Thanks. We're gonna be late for dinner.
Moonshine and supper time.
Casey! Baby, is dinner ready?
I'm starving!
Hailey: I just don't get it, Daddy.
Why does he have to be such an asshole all the time?
Well, his daddy was an asshole.
And you knew what you were getting into
before you married him.
[Sighs] I know.
You two still planning to head up north tomorrow
to scout out that doe trail?
Yeah.
I'm not missing a Saturday morning in the woods
'cause he's an asshole.
[Laughs]
Well, make sure you're back in time for potluck at the church.
I know.
We'll be leaving at the ass crack of dawn,
so we'll be back around noon.
You'll be okay, honey.
You're both hotheads.
You just need to cool off a bit.
Yeah. I guess.
Do you, uh, think this will be good for Grammy's recipe?
Sweet holy shit!
How'd you spot that hare?
Oh, I don't know, my eyes.
[Laughs]
No thanks to Jeremy, of course.
The boy's a shit shot.
Hailey, you think they're really gonna want rabbit
at the church potluck?
Daddy, Grammy's Hasenpfeffer recipe
has been pleasing folks for generations.
Yeah, but I...
but I've only seen you make it once.
That don't mean I don't remember how, Daddy.
[Chuckles]
Besides, people need to learn to try new things.
There ain't only, like, 4 kinds of meat in the whole world.
[Scoffs]
♪♪
No! No! No!
[Crying]
[Screams]
♪♪
[ Yells ]
♪♪
Marcus: This dude approaches me, right, acting all brody.
I look at him.
And I'm like, "Yeah, right!"
[Laughter]
Casey: That dude's a clown, man.
Will: Oh, I remember this.
This is a lame-ass fire, dude.
Okay, guys.
-What are you doing? -What, what, what?
With your little stick.
I've got to get your attention somehow.
Alright, let's see how to...
No, no, no.
I just wanted to um, take a moment to...
thank all of you.
My best friends!
Marcus. Casey!
[Laughs]
Jordan.
Whoo!
And of course, my favorite brother, Aaron.
I'm your only brother.
Not...just for being here tonight,
but also for being a part of my wedding to Chloe.
There's no better people that I can imagine
having with me here tonight.
Or...
to be at my wedding.
You know, I know that we don't get the opportunity
to see each other as often as we would like anymore, and that...
Hey, it's alright, boss man.
I can take it from here.Thank you so much.
Why don't you take a lap, alright?
Okay. Okay.Drink a beer.
I'm just gonna have a quick time-out, here.
Love you guys.
I just love you guys, that's all I'm saying.
Speech! Speech! Speech!
I... I don't know.
You're the best man, Marcus.
Maybe you should be the one to do the thing, right?
Hey, man...
I get to give my speech at the big thing.
You can have tonight.
That's true. We want to hear from you.
Well, if you insist.
-We do. -We do.
Okay. So, it's my freshmen year of college.
I'm randomly assigned a roommate for my dorm.
I have no idea who it could be.
So, as our man Will always says, "I hope for the best and..."
Prepare for the worst!
[Laughs]What?
Guys, it's the only right -- -Right way to live.
[laughs]
-Whatever -Nerd.
Okay. Okay. Okay. As I was saying.
So, I'm prepared for anything.
And in walks this...
this weirdo...
Guilty as charged.
To be honest with you all,
I wasn't sure if I liked him very much.
You were pretty quiet in that "always thinking,"
Will sort of way, you know?
It wasn't until he starts bringing around
his high school buddy Marcus that...
he starts coming out of his shell.
We found out we were into, like, a lot of the same stuff.
So, the three of us moved into the house
on Crawford Street the next fall.
Crawford Street Boys!
Hey, baby, can you get me a beer?
Sure thing, babe. And later that semester,
after some particularly brutal midterms,
Marcus suggests we go to a party.
I meet this little lady...
thus changing my life forever.
And then, Jordan brings around her friend, Chloe,
and that, ladies and gentlemen...
is what we call "history."
So...
I propose a toast to that weirdo from all those years ago,
the reason we're all here,
my good buddy, Will.
To Will.
[ Indistinct talking ]
You guys!
That was sweet, man. Thank you so much.
[ Heavy footsteps ]
Truck's all gassed up.
Ought to be ready to go for tomorrow.
Cool.
Oh, Jesus.
You still mad?
What's it to you?
Oh, fine.
Fine.
Well, since everything's all fine,
I'mma go get me a shower.
You, uh, want to come with?
Yeah, no. Okay.
[Clears throat]
It's alright.
I can handle it my damn self.
Need you in there.
[Sighs]
You know, the last wedding I went to was your guys'.
Really?
Yeah.
Last bachelor party, too.
And what a bachelor party it was.
Marcus: Oh, yeah. Yes, it was.
Oh. Maybe he doesn't remember.
I do. I...
W-what are you guys talking about?
Oh, tell the story. Tell the story. Tell.
Tell it. -Okay, okay.
Marcus: Okay. Picture this.
We all rent a beach house in Jersey.
Aaron: Okay.
The view was amazing, but the beds were terrible.
I didn't notice.
Wait, wait, wait. Jordan...
you were there with him?
Yeah. We had a joint bachelor-bachelorette party.
Oh. Okay.
One night, Will wakes up. He can't find Casey.
So, then, he wakes me up.
He's like, "Oh, we can't find Casey.
Where is Casey?"
and Jordan was freaking out.
Jordan: Oh, I was freaking out.
So, I go into our room, and I find an empty baggie --
an empty baggie that had once been filled with mushrooms.
And not with the Portobello kind.
Oh. Drugs.
-Yeah. -Yeah.
So, I'm totally panicked.
I was worried that he had, like,
walked onto the highway, or something.
And I don't blame her. I do weird shit, man.
[Laughs]
Will: And here I was, just sitting around, thinking,
"What would I do if I just took a big bag of mushrooms?"
[laughter]
And...and... me, personally,
I would go to the sweet sounds of the ocean.
[Laughter]
So, when we all got down to the beach,
I mean, I just couldn't believe it.
Marcus: So, we find Casey.
This psycho has managed to build a four by four,
eight-foot-deep hole in the middle of the beach.
It's 8:00 a.m., mind you.
Then, he sees us, and he just starts yelling.
"Hey, man! We're all made of the same shit!"
Casey: Hey, that argument still holds up,
I'll have you know.
-It makes no sense. -It does.
It makes a lot of sense.
[Laughs]
Oh, man.
-Shit, dawg. -That's crazy.
What? What is it this time, Aaron?
Aaron: Ugh.
I don't know...
I just...
you guys are just, like... being around you.
Like... like such good friends.
It sucks.
I don't...I don't have good friends like this.
No, you're, you're...
you're drunk.
No. Yeah.
No. No.
I'm not drunk.
Yeah, right.
[Laughter]
Hey. It's okay, Aaron.
You have us. We're your friends.
You can hang out with us anytime you want.
Hey, don't tell him that.
Will is gonna marry this...
beautiful woman, and Casey is...
married to Jordan, and...
Marcus... he doesn't --
he doesn't have any trouble getting girls, and...
I can't even get a girl to talk to me.
[Chuckles]
Hey, man. It can't be that bad.
Oh, no, it is.
My job sucks.
Okay, Aaron, I think it's time to --
My job sucks.
No, Aaron, I think it's time to call it quits, buddy.
My job sucks.
And... just being around you...
[Gagging]
Wait, hold on. Do it.
[Vomits]
[ Indistinct talking ]
Dude, you're like a dying animal.
Will: Fuck that! That was so ---
That was disgusting.
-It's on my boots. -Why'd you invite him?
Because he's my brother.
-He's fucking lame. -I know.
Aaron, it's time for bed.
Just roll him onto the -- the thing, right there.
You guys put him there.
I'm gonna go get a bucket and some water.
[ Indistinct talking ]
Casey: Dude is such a fuck-up, man.
-Okay. -Be nice.
He is.
Holy shit!
What the fuck?
Hey! Who are you?
Hello? Can we help you?
Hey...man.
Uh, how's it going?
Jesus, that was weird.
Yeah.
Really weird.
He nodded, though. That's a good thing, right?
I mean...I guess.
Maybe he just didn't know we were out here...
camping, or whatever.
Hey, we should actually get back to our tents.
Yeah. I think you're right.
♪♪
Yep.
Here's the spot.
Should be able to get a pretty good scout on some doe.
Should get good about a quarter mile in, I think.
You want to come with me, or you cool here?
I think I'll just hang back, enjoy the scenery.
Aw, come on now, darling.
We both know you're better scouting the wood than me.
Well, I will not argue with you about that one.
Alright. Well, suit yourself.
Should be back in about 15 minutes, or so.
Okay. 15 minutes. 'cause you know we have to go.
Yeah, I know. I know. The potluck.
Yes, the potluck.
Hailey...
why don't you have a smile waiting for old Jeremy
when I get back?
[Chuckles] Alright.
Don't scare off the deer.
Ha ha!
♪♪
[ Whistles ]
♪♪
[ Whistles ]
Motherfucker!
♪♪
Hailey!
♪♪
No!
[Screams]
[ Music plays on earbuds ]
[ Music stops ]
♪♪
[Coughs]
Will: Morning', sunshine.
Please tell me there's coffee.
Marcus: Coming' up.
I hope this is as good as you say it is, because I need it.
Oh, this shit's magic.
Thank you.
Dude. So, Will...
Will: Yeah.
There was this weird guy earlier.
Oh, yeah.
There was this, like, really haggard-like looking guy,
who was just, like, staring at us
when we first woke up this morning, outside.
What? What time was this?
I don't know. But the sun was barely up.
Yeah?
And then, what happened?
He nodded, and then just sort of walked away.
So...
he just stood there, and didn't say anything, and nodded?
Yeah.
Nothing else happened?
No.
Casey: Guys, maybe it's not that big of a deal.
For all we know, we wandered on this guy's land.
Jordan: Yeah, but, I mean, he just stood there,
and didn't say anything, and...
I mean, that is some creepy shit.
Maybe he had just gotten there right before they woke up, babe.
Will: Apparently, he didn't care.
I mean, you guys said he nodded, right?
-Yeah. -Yeah.
Then, I wouldn't worry about it.
I mean, he probably would have said something otherwise.
These people up here, they don't play any games.
They don't want any trouble.
I mean, we clean up.
It's not a big deal.
Wow.
You guys went hard last night.
Hey, tell me about it.
Guess I, uh, underestimated the moonshine.
You seem to "underestimate" every time you drink, buddy.
You know what, guys? I hope it was worth it.
We got a big day today.
We've got to eat and pack up -- 14-mile-hike ahead of us.
Okay?
So, bon appétit.
♪♪
[Sighs]
Jesus fucking Christ, Jeremy.
Always do this.
♪♪
15 minutes.
[Sighs] It's been an hour.
I've got to go get him.
♪♪
Man: It's been all summer long, Marty, with these people.
They keep coming on. They're leaving a mess.
I don't know what to do about it.
I mean, I'm beside myself.
I mean, it is my property, you know?
All I'm saying, sheriff, is you got to do something
about all of them hikers coming onto my property.
They keep tearing down all my signs.
Here comes trouble, now.
Oh, shit.
I'll talk to you later, Marty, alright?
Hello, there, stranger.
You bring any of that family down here with you?
Good, 'cause we don't need them stirring up no trouble.
You know how this works.
Get what you need, and get out --
for your sake and for theirs.
Don't be laying around, making folks feel all uncomfortable.
You got it?
Shit.
Hailey: Jeremy?
Jeremy?
♪♪
Jeremy!
♪♪
Jeremy!
♪♪
Fuck.
[Shouts]
♪♪
[Screams]
[Muffled voices]
Yeah, I'd say we're about at midpoint, here.
Let's see.
We're about halfway, right, guys?
Yeah. The gorge is about a half mile that way.
If we loop around, we'll be back at the campsite before sundown.
Does this mean we get to stop?
Whew! Can we get some lunch?
Yeah?
Yeah, guys, it means we can stop.
Thank God.
Give me something to eat.
Yeah.
[Sighs]
These terrible shoes that you gave me,
they're giving me blisters all over my feet.
Will: Come on, guys.
This is good for you.
And you got a good sweat going.
I hate to tell you guys this, but you reek of booze --
and vomit.
Oh, hey, not me.
I don't know if I want a break yet.
I, uh, think I'm gonna check out what's over this, uh, hill.
Are you just taking a walk to go get stoned?
[Laughs] What?
No, man. I'm a good Christian.
A good Chr... Come on, man.
We got, like...
A li-- Alright.
See you in a minute.
Yes, that's exactly what he's going to do.
Figured so.
[ Unidentified groaning ]
What the fuck was that?
♪♪
[ Unidentified groaning ]
♪♪
This shit laced?
[ Unidentified groaning ]
♪♪
What the fuck?
[Breathes heavily]
[Growls]
[Angry yelling]
[ Yelling in the distance ]
What the hell was that?
That does not sound good.
Was that Casey?
I'm gonna go check it out.
I'm coming, too.
No. Jordan.
We're a little far out here, you know.
Someone has to stay with them.
I'll be right back, alright?
-Okay. -Okay.
Jordan: Okay. Hurry.
Be careful, Will.
♪♪
[ Grunting ]
♪♪
Guys, run! We got to run!
-What? -What? -Where's Casey? -What's going on?
Guys, just, just--just leave what you have,
and we got to -- we got to go. -Where's Casey?
Just run!
Jordan: What the hell happened? Where's Casey?
-I will explain in a second -- -Will?
We just have to get out of here.
♪♪
Will, what the hell happened?
We have to get out of here.
Where's Casey?
♪♪
[ Whooping ]
♪♪
[ Whooping ]
♪♪
Will: We have to find the keys, and get the hell out of here, guys.
What was that?
We just -- We just fucking left Jordan.
Will...
is Casey dead?
That's what you saw, right?
This has happened.
Will: Aaron, God.
We can't do this now, okay?
We've got to grab what we need,
get the keys, and get to the car.
Alright, bud? We don't have time for this.
Marcus: He's right.
We don't got time to think about any of this stuff, Aaron.
We've just got to keep moving.
They're probably coming.
Okay. Okay.
Okay.
♪♪
Oh, shit.
♪♪
What the f-- Hey, hey, hey, man.
What are you doing? Relax.
Hey, man. Whoa, whoa.
You don't have to do this.
I don't know what we did to upset you,
but we didn't mean any disrespect.
Please.
We just want to leave.
Are you open to talking?
Let's talk.
If we're on your land, then, we're sorry.
We didn't realize.
We have a little bit of money.
Do you want money?
Do you want any of this stuff?
You can have it all.
We just want to walk away.
Just let us walk away, man.
Just let us walk away.
[ Attacker whoops ]
Marcus: Run!
Both of you! Just run!
[ Attacker whoops ]
Just get Aaron the fuck out of here.
Will: Let's go.
♪♪
[ Attacker whoops, laughs ]
[ Yells ]
[ Scraping, sliding ]
[ Whooping ]
[ Door opens ]
[ Footsteps ]
Woman: My boys.
My talented, talented boys.
A buck and a doe.
[Laughs]
Now...go get the rest of them.
♪♪
[ Knocking ]
-Yeah. -Someone here to see you, Marty.
At this hour?
Man: Says he knows you.
Fella by the name of Mitch, from an hour south of here.
Mitchie?
Yeah, yeah, send him in.
Holy shit, Mitch.
It's been forever.
What the hell brings you all the way out here this time of night?
Marty, it's Hailey.
Your youngest?Hmm-mm.
What about her?
Well, her and her husband, Jeremy, came up this way
to scope out a deer trail.
That was early this morning,
and I ain't seen or heard from them since.
I see.
They were supposed to be at church for a dinner,
but they never showed.
I can't even reach them on their cellphones.
Hold on, now. It could be nothing.
Or they could be just lost. Service is spotty up this way.
This has me real worried, Marty.
This just ain't like her. It ain't like neither of them.
They know their way around the woods, even strange woods.
Where this trailhead at, now?
All I know is it's a couple miles somewhere off route 41.
Mm.
Well, I'm trying to avoid the wife, anyway,
and no need to send anybody else out.
Come on. Let's go check it out.
Thank you, Marty. Thank you.
Any time, pal.
[ Straining ]
♪♪
[ Slicing, squishing ]
♪♪
[ Squishing ]
Will: Over here.
Aaron: Okay. Okay.
Shit. Shit!
What? What's wrong?
Okay. [Coughs]
So...
...judging by the moon...
...it's almost midnight.
We should have been back at the car an hour ago.
Wh-What? We're lost?
Oh, God! We're gonna die.
[sobs] I don't want to die, Will.
Stop.
I'm sorry, but you've got to stop.
You've got to pull yourself together, okay?
We both have to stay calm
if we're gonna make it through this.
[Sniffling]
Look, if I have to drag you through these woods all night,
it's not gonna be pretty for us, alright?
Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay.
Aaron...
do you remember when you were 5,
and you got lost at the county fair?
Yeah. Yeah.
Okay, well, you were only 5, but...
you didn't get nervous, remember?
You saw that teacher from elementary school,
and you were able to tell her you were lost,
and she could help you, because you didn't panic.
Yeah.
You're right, Will.
What should we do?
That's my man.
Okay.
Just, um...
let me think.
We should...
...find the water.
What?Yeah. We follow the water.
It- it-it's basic stuff they teach you in school.
Water leads to people.
Yeah.Yeah.
Yeah, water. Okay. Okay.
I can't believe I didn't think of that.
Okay, so, there was, like, a creek...
300 yards back.
Okay.I mean, if we can just --
[Thud]
Will? Will!
♪♪
[Screams]
This ain't Hailey and Jeremy's.
Marty: Look like somebody removed the plates.
Marty, do you think this has anything to do with Hailey?
Well, got no need to believe that it's connected,
but I think it might be.
[Sniffles]
Are you okay?
Did they hurt you?
So why the fuck ain't you dead?
What?
They killed everybody else.
So why ain't you dead?
I don't -- I don't know, I...
[sobs] What's going on?
What's happening?
Can't you tell?
No.
What?
It's a slaughterhouse.
My daddy raised hogs when I was little.
I know a slaughterhouse when I see one.
That's insane.
That's not what this is.
Well, then, what is it? Huh?
Do you have a bright idea?
Quit your fucking crying, boy.
You ain't the only one that's seen shit today.
You know, I started my day off with my husband on the trail.
And by the end of it, he was dead, and strung up like a deer.
Like a fucking deer!
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that happened to you.
Did they bring anyone else when they brought me here?
What?
Was there anyone else, earlier, when they brought me in?
I don't know. I didn't notice.
It was just me, you, Jeremy, and three bodies.
[normal voice] Casey, Marcus, Jordan.
[sniffles] Okay. Okay.
Well, uh, then, at least maybe my brother is still alive.
Do-do-do you think he's still alive?
I don't know.
But to me, it seems like your brother is pretty fucking dead.
Why am I still alive?
Okay.
[Sniffles]
It's gonna be okay.
[ Door opens ]
♪♪
[grunts and squeals]
Oh, God.
No, no, no.
Man: Time to meet Mama.
[Laughs]
Alright. Alright.
Let's have a look at him.
Oh!
It's so wonderful to meet you.
[ Laughs ]
[ Whoops ]
Hush, now.
Ain't nobody gonna hear you.
And from the look of it, you're a long way from home.
[ Laughs ]
First off, I'd like to welcome you to our humble abode.
I'm sure, by now, you're quite familiar with my boys...
Jefferson...
and Cloyd.
[Laughs]
And I am the proud mother of these here two boys.
You can call me "Mama."
[ Whooping, laughing ]
[ Slightly muffled ] Where's Will?
Oh, the other one.
Don't you be worrying about him.
He'll be joining us soon.
Now, we're usually very untrusting of outsiders.
You see...
most don't approve of our ways...
which is why most don't know about our ways.
[ Moans ]
You see, the Boon family's
been living in these parts for generations.
To keep the family alive, we have...
...unorthodox methods.
Our peculiarities have had their own...
...complications.
The family tree...
well, the roots have gotten a little gnawed, you see?
We have to branch out.
Lord knows I ain't getting any younger.
I can hardly keep up with them.
And like any God-fearing woman,
I want to see my boys get married.
Unfortunately for Jefferson,
his pecker works about as good as his voice box.
[laughs mockingly]
Can't consummate a marriage.
Can't even further the family tree.
But Cloyd, on the other hand, he is right as rain --
insatiable, in fact.
He surely likes that girl down there.
But he's taken a real shine to you.
Now, I can't be marrying off one of my boys
to someone like her.
Sure, she'll have her uses as a breeder,
but I checked, and her flower's done been spoiled.
I can't have it.
I won't have it.
But I'd bet dollars to donuts
that your flower ain't been spoiled.
[ Whooping ]
I like it when they get scared.
I know you do, sweetheart.
Now, I can't suffer intercourse outside the family
without wedlock.
And to be honest, my boy Cloyd has waited long enough.
So, I am pleased to announce that I approve of you
and my darling boy Cloyd
to be entering into holy matrimony.
[Hooting with laughter]
Time to celebrate.
It's been a long day.
Everyone must have quite the appetite.
Jefferson, would you please go
and get the main course for our dinner?
We can't be continuing on to the ceremony on an empty stomach.
Now, take your seat, baby. Yes, Mama.
There'll be plenty of time for that...
later.
You are in for a treat.
We've prepared a delicious roast with potatoes, carrots,
all the fixins.
Now, I must warn you,
we like our meat on the rare side, with a crispy crust.
It's a little uncommon,
but I'm sure you'll come to enjoy it.
Jefferson...
please.
♪♪
There is nothing finer than a freshly killed
and butchered roast.
[ Laughs ]
Well...
...dig in.
♪♪
Oh, where are our manners?
We didn't forget about you, sweetheart.
Cloyd, mind your partner.
♪♪
Good.
Eat it!
[ Laughs ]
[ Continues laughing ]
Fuck all of you.
Eventually.
So...
now that dinner has come to a close,
I believe we can continue on to the ceremony.
And Cloyd, I've even decided that you can wear
my wedding veil, like you've always wanted.
[ Whoops ]
Go on, now.
Fetch it from my wardrobe.
Get yourself cleaned up, and make yourself pretty.
We can't have you getting any cold feet.
Jefferson, would you please give me a hand
with the apple of Cloyd's eye?
[Indistinct muffled talking]
[Screams]
Make sure you get some bandages, Jefferson.
We don't want him to bleed out before the honeymoon.
[ Laughs ]
♪♪
Jefferson. Jefferson, stand up.
Stand up. Here comes your brother.
[Sighs]
[Hums the bridal march]
Oh, so lovely.
[Sighs deeply]
[Whimpering in fear]
[Humming]
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today
to join these two persons present in holy matrimony.
Marriage is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly,
but reverently, discreetly, solemnly, and advisedly.
Into this holy estate,
these two persons present now come to be joined.
If any person present can show just cause
as to why these two may not be wed,
let them speak now, or forever hold their peace.
[Muffled grunts and groans]
No objections?
Wonderful!
Now...
I'm going to keep this brief.
But I believe that the first book of Peter,
chapter 4, verse 8...
...is more than perfect for this occasion.
"And above all else, love each other deeply,
for love covers over a multitude of sins."
[Humming]
[Cloyd whoops, laughs ]
Cloyd...
do you take this man to be your husband,
to have and to hold, to cherish and to keep,
until death do you part?
[Stammers]
I do.
Mm.
And do you take my beautiful boy, Cloyd,
to have and to hold, to cherish and to keep,
until death do you part?
[Muffled] Fuck...you.
That sounds like an "I do" if I ever heard one.
So, by the power vested in me by the Boon family name,
I now pronounce you husband and wife!
[ Joyous whooping ]
[Muffled screams]
[ Whooping ]
So wonderful!
Beautiful, beautiful couple you make.
♪♪
[ Aaron grunts ]
Cloyd: I like when they get mad.
Mama: Oh, I know you do, sweetheart.
Now, you go on, and get yourself ready.
Jefferson, go on down, and check on that girl,
but then, you hurry back on up to bed.
Go, now.
Oh, Cloyd.
You know you are my sunshine.
[ Cloyd whoops ]
♪♪
[Breathes heavily]
♪♪
Aaron: [muffled] Let me go, you sick fuck!
Cloyd: Hush now, darling.
I'm almost ready for you.
[Laughs]
[Chokes]
Cloyd: I like you, you know.
Aaron: Oh, God.
Cloyd: [stuttering] You can look at it.
[Laughs]
Why aren't you looking at it?
You don't like it?
[Whoops]
[Muffled screams]
♪♪
Cloyd: Don't worry.
I'll be real gentle.
[Muffled sobs]
[Snorting]
[Screams]
[Whooping]
Cloyd: We're married.
♪♪
[Screams]
[Coughs]
Holy shit.
Thanks.
Sure.
We...
We can't let that motherfucker get away.
He shouldn't be too hard to find.
I'll get him.
Just go.
[Sighs]
Fuck.
We've been driving around all night, and found nothing.
Calm down, Mitchie. We'll...We'll find them.
How? By fucking sitting here with our thumbs up our ass?
I'm sorry, Marty, I'm just so fucking worried.
I know. I know.
Is there anyone who lives out around here
that might've seen Hailey and Jeremy?
No. Nobody for miles.
Well, there's the Boons.What's that?
No, that's a family of inbreds
that's been living right here forever.
I'm not even sure where their property is anymore.
They might have found Jeremy and Hailey.
Marty, if they found them, what would they do?
No, they're not...
they're fucked up weird, but they wouldn't hurt no one.
Are you sure?
Come on. Let's go.Let's go.
[Moans]
[Whoops]
[Whooping]
♪♪
[ Indistinct whispering ]
[Whispers] Fuck.
[ Groans ]
Shit.
Mama: What the fuck did you do to my two boys?
♪♪
[Cloyd screaming]
♪♪
Son of a bitch!
What did you do to my sons?
I can't believe you were gonna be in the family!
[Yells]
I'm gonna enjoy watching your lights go out.
I'll...
[breathing heavily]
Thank you.
♪♪
-Hailey, oh my God! -Daddy?
Oh, my God, Hailey!
Oh, my God. What happened?
We got to go. Daddy, please, please, we got to get out of here.
Marty, let's get to the hospital.
-What happened? -Please, Daddy, please.
Baby, who did this to you?
Marty, get us-- get us to the hospital.
What the fuck! Fuck!
Mitch: It's okay. It's okay.
Daddy's here.
Marty, get us to the hospital.
♪♪