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NETFLIX PRESENTS
Clóvis!
Have you talked to your dad's girlfriend?
Aren't you Dad's girlfriend?
Dad's girlfriend is Aunt Jussara.
Pay attention.
Mom and Dad are no longer together.
You will live with them.
Aunt Jussara is rich! Very rich!
It's for the best, dear.
Mommy is not leaving you, though.
I just want you to have everything. You'll see.
I never understood her.
And I understand family issues.
I had several.
My mom left me with Dad and Aunt Jussara.
Happy birthday to you
Make a wish!
Then, my dad took off and left me with her.
-Blow it out! -She married Dirceu.
Make a wish, come on.
Hurry up, Clóvis.
Yay!
Then Aunt Jussara also left me.
-Blow it! -Dirceu married Soninha.
Make a wish, quick.
Hurry up, boy.
-Great. -Then Soninha left him.
By then, I was living with Soninha and Rubens.
Let's sing "Happy Birthday" to him! Come quick!
-Lohane! -Lohane's father.
I want a picture!
No, Clóvis! Stay. You're family!
That's Lohane, Rubens' daughter, my stepsister.
We got along quite well.
My longest stay was there.
We grew up together. I really liked her.
As time went by,
I left as soon as I could to live on my own.
15 YEARS LATER
But doing what?
I could paint well.
As time passed, I got really good.
I was able to paint actual works of art.
I mean, works of art that were actually…
fake.
Then I met a big shot who buys this kind of stuff.
This is great!
It's a piece by an artist known worldwide!
Everyone in Paris, Milan, and New York knows who he is.
I'll pay half the price.
What? We already agreed on the value!
You know that!
I'll pay half the price.
No deal.
Come with Daddy, son. Art doesn't pay.
Fortunato, what's going on here?
-It's the auction deal. -Deal?
He wants to pay half the agreed price.
Should I destroy the piece
and sell him half of it?
Fortunato,
pay him the right amount.
Thank you, Senator.
Thank you so much. You are a good man.
If you need anything, just ask me.
That Portinari piece?
Auctioned off for five times its original price.
Great. Talk to Fortunato.
I sold him a painting for a good price.
Look.
Daddy loves you, but it's for the best, okay?
Thank you, Senator. You're very generous.
See you soon.
My day was just beginning.
A con artist never performs only once.
Help!
-Help! -What's the matter?
Can anyone just come in here?
Is there someone bothering you?
The fly that just got in here and in my hot chocolate.
I almost swallowed it.
Luckily, I spit it out.
I'll handle it.
Please.
-We have a problem. -What is it?
It seems a fly fell in his drink.
Excuse me.
-Let's avoid further embarrassment. -Yes.
The hot chocolate is on the house.
The hot chocolate?
Just the hot chocolate is on the house. Funny!
What about the rest?
The rest is the whole menu. You ate it all.
Even a fly!
Ladies and gentlemen, a minute, please.
Pay attention.
Pay attention, silly girl.
I'm sorry for disturbing your breakfast,
but, unfortunately, we're served flies in Brazil.
You can't leave without paying after eating everything on the menu.
I will pay for it. That's not the point. It will cost you a lot.
I'll pay. I don't need charity or anything.
-I want justice. -Clean it up, please.
Don't touch the crime scene! All right?
I want a forensic examination. I'll do it.
Guys, I just can't. It's sad, you know?
It died on such a beautiful morning. Did you see that?
It used to fly so freely.
What a sudden and unnecessary death!
I killed it, lady! I killed it. I'm devastated!
Poor thing!
Forgive me, Buddha!
All right, no harm done. No need to pay for anything.
It's on the house, okay?
You can leave now.
That's great. Let's avoid further embarrassment.
-Sure. -I'll forgive you.
I'm not ashamed.
People screw us over all the time.
Why should I pay a lot of money to eat?
One scam after another has led me here,
to the most important day of my life.
Listen, this is the last time I'm helping you with your scams. I'm done.
Great.
Today is my last day. I'm done with you.
You always say that.
Then, a week later, you ask me for a favor.
I know you, Clóvis.
I sold Christ, man.
What?
Christ the Redeemer.
You're lying!
Who's going to buy that statue?
A crook, someone who wants to benefit from the crisis.
I did Brazil a favor by taking money from a corrupt businessman.
Come on, Robin Hood.
I'll say more. You don't have the guts to do that.
I'll show you. I have the documents.
I dare you to say this is fake.
I even created a website with a code so they can check it.
It's all there.
Have you no shame?
No, none at all.
I told them it is confidential under the state secrecy law.
I said the government won't disclose it yet to avoid protests,
and the press is being paid, but will denounce it later to play innocent.
I asked for a bribe for the mayor, for myself,
for the governor and for myself again,
so I can set him up with the deal.
-Did they buy it? -Of course.
You can't trust a deal without bribery.
A hundred years ago in Paris,
a man tried to sell the Eiffel Tower to one of the biggest scrap metal dealers.
He was so successful
that he went back to France and sold it again.
We are used to copying things from abroad.
The Christ statue was left unattended, so I sold it.
I did.
SOLD
All I needed was a corrupt man willing to make a deal.
And there are many like him here.
Where is the money?
-Now? In broad daylight? -Don't worry. It's all good.
People don't hide things anymore. The more explicit, the better.
Everything is for sale.
The Amazon is no longer ours.
Not even a cricket speaks Portuguese there.
Where is the money?
Why are you hiding it?
Give me that. Don't be suspicious.
I loved this vase. I'll take it. Don't mind me. Bye.
I have the solution for our people
A good business like this No one's ever seen
Everything is ready Just come and take it
The solution is putting Brazil up for rent
We won't pay for anything…
This country is a joke. Why should I be serious?
Come on, it was a good scam.
-You pulled it off! -Yes! Thanks for the recognition.
Not to brag, but I totally rocked it.
The foreigners will love it
It's got the Atlantic and a sea view…
After everything I went through, all the trouble,
I worked so hard,
and I was living the best moment of my life.
We won't pay for anything
It's all free
It's time
But since poor people can't be happy for long,
everything changed.
Clóvis.
Is your TV on?
Probably not.
Turn on the news. We're screwed.
It was at this cafe
that the businessmen allegedly met a man
who sold them Rio's Christ the Redeemer
under the false name of Lívio Romero.
As you can see, this is the sketch of the suspect.
For fuck's sake, man!
Hey, big guy! I need my car!
I'm sorry, Tavinho, but I need that car.
-Clóvis! -I paid for it! You are my accomplice!
-What? Come on, Clóvis! -Accomplice! That's right!
Now I'll get my money and get out of here.
However, the Senator was faster than me and the cops.
It's my fault for messing with them.
JUST GO AND BE HAPPY, SON ART DOESN'T PAY
That man got back at me.
He broke into my house and took all my money.
I needed to run away as fast as I could.
For fuck's sake! Did I kill you?
Sorry, I can't help you right now.
Lohane? Did you have to show up now?
You think he had a bad day? Imagine mine!
I serve the best breakfast of Magé. Lohane's Point.
BUY ONE BURGER AND GET A GLASS OF JUICE
Burger coming right up!
I also gave you 800 napkins.
They're so cheap, 800 of them equals one good one.
I can't afford the expensive ones,
but I promise I'll buy them.
-We have a delicious juice for free. -Awesome!
Artificial cashew fruit flavor never found in nature.
But it might be pineapple.
It's delicious. So sweet!
Keep laughing. I'm working like a dog to survive.
I work from Monday to Sunday.
If I ever close this trailer, it will be the end of me.
The suffering never ends.
It's hard, you know?
What is?
Life.
Magé should be studied.
What a hot place!
NASA should study it,
because I think the sun is closer to here, for sure.
I could fry a burger on the street.
I don't do it. I have ethics.
But ethics is a complicated subject.
-Good afternoon. All good here? -Hi!
Distinguished customers.
I have Cheese-Lohane, Lohane-salad, Chicken-Lohane and Lohane Light.
I hope you speak English.
-What are you having? -The trailer's business license.
Well, this one…
It's not on the menu. We're short on it.
You can't sell food without it. I have to confiscate the trailer.
No, sir.
Please, don't. That's my business.
You'll destroy my life.
Please, help me out!
Maybe, with some incentive…
Get it?
-A sweetener? -Yes.
A kickback, you know?
To help me feed my children.
I know.
It's not sweet at all.
Here. That's all I have.
Well, it's not enough for me and my friend Pantoja over there.
So?
I will…
I'll look for more.
This month's income.
Now we're talking.
Very sweet.
Have a nice day.
Let's go, Pantoja.
What was that?
What a situation!
I need a license, but it costs money, so I need to work for it.
It's crazy!
I paid them, but I didn't lose my trailer.
But poor people can't be happy for long,
so everything changed.
Don't do that! I'm begging you!
This trailer is my life!
-Don't take it away! -Calm down, ma'am.
You're not allowed to sell food here, we have to take it away.
Yes! I mean, no!
Is it a yes or a no?
Yes, I don't have a license, but you can't take my trailer away.
I already sorted it out with your friend who came by.
-Friend? -Yes!
-I have no friends. What about you? -No friends.
Fake inspectors?
Yes, there are a lot of them.
They take money from people like you.
-You're a victim. -Not exactly a victim, actually.
If you hadn't paid them, they would've gone away.
-But you'll take it? -Yes, but you'd still have your money.
Let's go, Santos.
Alone, with no trailer and no money.
I had nothing left.
I mean…
almost nothing.
I needed to go to Rio.
I'm going to Rio, Jerusa!
In search of the only person who could help me,
my brother.
He's always been discreet, but I thought he'd done well in life,
that he'd made it in a big city.
He was doing better than me.
For fuck's sake!
Did I kill you?
Lohane?
Clóvis!
Did you have to show up now?
Wait! Clóvis!
Thank you, Lord!
Clóvis!
Why are you in such a hurry? You didn't give me a kiss.
Are you late?
Focusing on traffic to avoid answering me.
Talk to the driver only when necessary.
Are you going away?
You don't need to answer. I don't wanna know.
I thought you had a nicer car.
I'm not judging you or anything.
It's just that we always think other people are doing well.
I'm not saying you're not. You're doing better than me.
-But worse than I thought. -Can't you see I'm focused?
I'm sorry. Relax.
You look like Wesley Safadão.
Because of the hair, I guess.
Your nickname in school was Clóvis Bornay, remember?
By the way, where are we going?
Can you talk now? I need to talk.
No.
We've been driving for hours. Where are you taking me? I'm curious.
LAKES REGION
This could be considered kidnapping.
Yes, we've been driving for hours.
No, this is not a kidnapping.
I didn't take you against your will. You entered my car.
Get out, please.
-You're so rude! -I'm not rude.
I said "please." Get out, please.
-You haven't seen me in ages! -Get out.
-Clóvis, I need your help. -Get out!
-I'm in trouble! -And you think I'm not?
I'm in deep shit, dear.
I'm up to my neck in shit.
Not as bad as me.
-I'm in trouble with the cops! -Not interested. Move.
Listen up, Clóvis. I have a trailer.
I had one, but the cops confiscated it for not having a license.
Before that there was another raid, and I bribed them, but they were fake!
Now I have no money and no trailer!
I have no other way to make a living.
Then I thought my brother could help me. I'll pay you back.
I have no money. How could I help you?
I understand.
Crooks are everywhere.
You might not believe me, but I can prove it.
I'll show you.
You're a criminal?
I'm a con artist, a schemer, not a criminal.
You…
You're just like the scammers that extorted me, aren't you?
No, I have ethics.
My own ethics, but I do.
I'd never steal a trailer from an honest worker.
Man, I want nothing to do with you.
No way.
As a matter of fact, #downwithclóvis.
You shouldn't even have come.
Good luck. Bye.
Absolutely not.
I won't ask a crook for help.
I lost my trailer, but I won't do it.
The world is already full of crooks.
This country is full of crooks.
You don't need me?
I don't need you!
Actually, I do.
But God will help me.
Just not yet.
Eventually, He will. I don't know when, but He will.
I don't deserve this.
I'm completely lost.
That's Clóvis!
-I don't have all day. Where are they? -I'll find the documents.
My gosh!
What should I do?
I can't find them. They must be somewhere else.
HIGHWAY PATROL
Come back here, you bastard!
I'm talking to you, scumbag! Asshole!
Prick!
Coward!
You're a lying monster!
You should've never been born!
Sorry, I'll let you do your job in a minute.
Wait, who are you?
Me?
I'm the idiot who fell for his sweet talk!
You won't believe this.
This man showed up at my dad's house
and disgraced me!
Okay, it was consensual,
but he used me and ran away.
It's not right!
-Calm down, ma'am. -Don't call me that!
It reminds me of a book I was forced to read when I was a kid.
But I didn’t.
I flunked out.
-No, don't do that! -She's hitting me.
Do you feel sorry for him?
You know what? Arrest me. Take me away from society.
Just don't make me live with this crazy woman.
She's crazy. You can all see that!
He wants to be taken away
because he doesn't want to take responsibility as a father.
-He doesn't want to raise his own child! -What child?
This one! Inside my belly.
Since when is that a child? That's a tapeworm!
Do you want me to raise a tapeworm?
Do you want me to christen a tapeworm?
-It's a joke! -My baby!
Your dad is calling you names before you're even born!
Do you want the officer here to force me to pay child support?
-I do! Of course! -Your mother is crazy!
She is, trust your dad!
You are crazy!
You don't even know if the baby is really yours!
You are both insane! Go fight somewhere else!
No! Now I want to work this out.
-No, sir! We are not doing anything here. -We're going to work this out!
I want to work this out, brother. Got it?
-I want to work this out! -Enough!
Enough!
Move along, please,
before I change my mind and arrest you.
-Got it? -Yes, you're right.
Please.
-Before my water breaks. -Chill out.
-It's all right, relax. -Move.
Everything is fine.
I gotta hit the waves today.
The tapeworm was a genius move.
You couldn't believe it when I said that.
I can't believe how you, Clóvis,
such a quiet and shy boy,
turned into a gangster.
I was bullied, honey.
Bullied! I was bullied.
Lady Gaga was bullied, Madonna was.
I heard Tom Cruise was bullied, too.
All amazing people, like me.
Thanks, bullying!
When I was good, I got screwed.
Now I'm bad, and things work out. Isn't it better?
Maybe.
Look at you. You just fooled the police.
You'll get me a trailer.
-What? -You heard me.
I saved you. Now you'll get me a trailer.
Blackmail?
You're my brother, Clóvis.
I have nothing left. Could you help me out?
Okay.
I'll figure something out.
But after that, we'll part ways.
Get off me. No!
What are you doing?
Making a reservation.
Without any money in it?
Let me explain one thing to you.
I need my trailer,
but I assumed you would get one honestly.
You really did?
How nice.
Relax, it's just a magic trick.
Instead of pulling a rabbit out of my hat, I'll pull it out of someone else's hat.
I won't stay here. Forget it.
I have dignity.
Great, because I'll stay.
What's up?
-Good morning. -Good morning.
-Do you have a reservation? -I do.
-How are you doing? -Great.
It's under the name Máximo Marques.
I made a deposit earlier.
I had a problem with my online account, and I made the deposit at the bank.
So annoying.
I found it. You paid for ten days in the premium suite.
Very good.
However, the deposit will be credited only on Monday.
So?
I can't rest after a long trip because banks don't open on weekends?
That's not what I mean, sir. Technically, it hasn't been paid yet.
But I made the deposit.
It's really weird.
Our money is promptly debited when we transfer it,
but when we make a deposit, it takes a long time to clear.
Banks love to credit it,
they take forever to do so.
Then, I ask you:
If my money hasn't been transferred,
where is it?
Yes, that is a good question.
Thank God, who never rests for a single day,
we are honest people.
-Right? -Amen.
I'm here on business. I'm tired.
I work on weekends, unlike banks.
I just need my room keys, please.
Of course.
-Here they are. -Great.
Clóvis, I don't agree with the things you do.
Really? That's your problem.
But I'm loving this.
-How are you doing? -Hi.
I never go anywhere.
You need time and money to travel.
A worker with time is unemployed, so there's no money left to travel.
It just doesn't add up, Clóvis.
The only trip I've been making is to get the fake mayo I serve.
You serve fake mayonnaise, how nice!
Otherwise, I'd have no mayonnaise to sell.
My dream is to be able to serve a fancy mayonnaise
and thick napkins.
You're annoying. You talk a lot.
Don't be like that.
This place is so beautiful, right?
No.
I'm in love.
-Give me your number! -Where are you going?
Following those fishes. I'm a shark.
-Come back here. -Where are we going?
I'll buy you some clothes. Those are awful.
I never thought you were capable of doing things like this, Clóvis.
-I refuse to go in. -Shut up. Come on.
Hello, how are you doing?
-Good afternoon. -Good afternoon.
I brought my sister for a shopping spree.
Not just a spree, she needs to go on a binge.
She needs a complete makeover.
I love that dress.
Jesus Christ!
What's her size? Small?
No, it's small, medium and large. She's all lopsided.
One thigh is bigger than the other,
one breast is bigger, her butt's weird.
Asymmetrical.
If you compared her to an anatomy book, you'd see she's an alien.
If you laid her down naked, at first you'd be confused.
I got it, silly. Could you get me a coffee?
-You scared me! -One more.
-I can't! -You can!
And don't argue with me.
Leave those and return some pieces. Tell her you won't buy anything.
No! Lord, forgive me!
It's not my fault! I'm so sorry!
So, I guess I won't take anything.
Come on! At least one piece.
He's right.
Nothing really fits me, thank you.
You're upset because you got fat.
I retain water in my upper body.
She's feeling bad about herself.
We must buy dream clothes,
those clothes you swear you'll lose weight to wear one day.
I have lots of them at home.
-Bye! -They'll fit me someday.
-Let's go, please. -You're full of security tags.
If you pass the detector, you might explode.
My God, I can't go to jail!
Relax, we got this. We just have to wait.
Now, come on.
-I can't believe it. -Good luck.
She won't buy anything.
She needs to see her shrink.
-Thanks for the magazine. -Sure!
That poor tourist.
It's every man for himself in Brazil.
That car ran the light, and it's gone.
The one who didn't is far behind.
It did the right thing. We gotta respect it.
I found an honest Brazilian! I've never seen one.
I'll alert the media.
If it's your third time, you get a song.
Man, you framed an innocent person and made our country look bad.
Brazil already has a bad reputation.
The cameras will show that I placed the clothes in her bag,
and she'll be okay.
How could you?
Not having money, that's how I did it.
Let's keep an eye out.
They'll come after us, and I've only just started.
BOAT RIDES
Wasn't this supposed to be fast?
We've been here for hours. I'm on my fifth slushy.
We're studying the area. Do you see that boat ride agency?
They only take cash or checks.
We must wait for someone to pay with a check,
take a picture of the signature,
then forge a new check and exchange it with the original.
-Robbing a bank is easier. -And we will.
-Rob a bank? -Yes.
That woman looks like she's going to rent a boat.
-Go over there. -To do what?
-Take a picture of the check! -How?
Figure it out and bring it to me.
Okay, hold it. God, help me.
There's also Forte Beach, which is our most famous beach.
And our special trips, like Peró Beach.
We have a 16-foot speedboat
and a schooner that will be leaving soon,
but we still have tickets for this trip.
-Hi. -Hi. I'm checking this mask out.
If I wear this mask, I'll scare all the fishes.
I'll clear out the ocean.
Like an extinction.
Let me ask you. Do you only have rides with 500 people?
-No, we-- -What?
Sorry. That's the fun part, 500 people falling on each other.
I like it better that way. I prefer that.
Do you have something more exclusive?
Like a boat or a yacht?
You could buy all the tickets of a medium ride
and take your friends.
Great. How much is that?
-A thousand reais. -A thousand reais?
Yeah, a thousand.
To be on a boat alone, without a single guy to flirt with?
Well, I saw a sailor over there with huge feet.
Imagine him pulling the anchor with those strong arms.
Smart girl!
I like-- Sorry.
Sorry, this is a private deal.
-Do you take credit cards? -I'll take a selfie.
-No, just cash or check. -Okay.
-Great lighting. -It's a beautiful day.
It's wonderful.
Very good.
This is a good angle. Sorry.
Some people don't know when to stop.
Are you talking to me? Look at me, then. Why are you looking at her?
Such a snob. What an awful establishment!
A seedy place with a smelly dog.
Your dog is filthy.
My goodness, that smell!
What an awful establishment! My goodness.
-Hello! Good afternoon. -Good afternoon, how are you?
I hope you're doing fine, because I'm not.
My boss is pissed.
I didn't introduce myself. I'm Wendell.
I'm Silvia's driver, who has just rented a boat, actually.
-That lady. -Exactly. Is your boss nice?
They never are.
But it's not your fault. It was a girl taking selfies.
Do you like them?
I'm fine with them,
but that girl kept talking.
Do you get confused with fast speaking? I don't, but my boss does.
She made my boss confuse the checks.
She gave you the wrong one and asked me to get it back
and give you this one.
-Okay? -Right.
It's all the same, but the bank is different.
-All right, then. -Could you hurry up?
She's waiting outside, and she's in a terrible mood.
-You know? -Yes.
-Impatient. She's… -I'll just check it.
-It's all the same but the bank. -Okay.
-All right. -Awesome.
-Thank you. -You're welcome.
Eleven thousand reais.
The number 11 is too squeezed up.
Sorry, but I can't.
-Hi, how are you? Good afternoon. -Good afternoon.
So, what does it say on there? "Eleven thousand reais," right?
So, that's what it is.
And it's urgent. I need this money.
But first I need to contact the issuer.
It's someone who suffers from Parkinson's. Have you heard of it?
I really need the bank's confirmation.
All right.
Ladies and gentlemen, your attention, please.
Sorry to bother you, but I need to say something.
The bank takes our money but never gets us off, you know?
My Aunt Silvia, who raised me, has Parkinson's.
The poor thing insisted on using her own frail hands
to write the check.
She felt alive, she felt useful, she felt active, you know?
Because the check is a donation from her to a child in need.
However, she says her handwriting is bad.
Of course, she has Parkinson's!
-The number is squeezed up. -You're lying!
-I didn't say anything! -Really?
Now she didn't say anything. She prefers the silence of cowardice.
That's not on her behalf. She's acting on the bank's behalf.
She's not sparing her money. She's sparing the bank's money!
Does the bank spare us?
-No! -No, it doesn't!
I wanna be a bank in my next life.
They're always forgiven, but they never forgive anybody.
Look at the special treatment line.
Especially slow!
It is outrageous to make seniors wait.
It's horrible. They are elderly!
Have you ever heard of the fourth age?
No? Why? Because it doesn't exist!
The third age is the last one!
Every minute of their lives is precious, you see?
One of them might pass away right here.
Look at her, eating anxiously.
She's all anxious, eating cookies, nonstop chewing.
Her anxiety is the bank's fault.
She stands there for hours,
so she eats to pass the time.
She was thin when she came in here. Look at her now.
She might explode right here.
How about the revolving doors? They are hell on Earth!
We even give up coming in for fear of getting stuck.
They treat us like criminals.
We become criminals.
We take out our phones, keys, everything.
They ask for our pacemakers.
Someone might have a heart attack right here.
And it's all the bank's fault!
That's right!
We want respect!
Respect! We want respect!
Listen, I'm not holding up the line because I want to.
They won't cash my check.
Cash it!
Cash his check!
Listen to the voice of experience. He is very experienced.
Cash his check already!
Even our chubby friend agrees. I can say that. I'm chubby too.
Cash it already!
-Cash his check! -Cash it!
The giant has awakened.
Giant by thine own nature
Thou art beautiful, strong A fearless colossus
And thy future mirrors that greatness
Adored land
Amongst a thousand others Art thou, Brazil, beloved homeland
Of the sons of this ground Thou art kind mother
Beloved homeland, Brazil!
Yeah!
-Cash it! -Cash it!
I've got goosebumps.
Didn't I say I'd rob a bank?
-You robbed Silvia! -What?
She is the victim of a scam.
The bank's loss is our gain.
Eleven thousand reais, man!
I've never seen so much money in my life!
-What's my share? -None.
You're getting greedy.
I'll buy your trailer tomorrow.
And then what?
Then we'll part ways, as we agreed.
No.
I won't accept that.
Didn't you come after me to get a trailer?
So, let's go out, have some fun. When was the last time we did that?
There's a party near the hotel.
No way, the entire city is after us.
Where are you going?
To the sauna, to relax after a hard day.
Sauna? Let's party, man!
No party, Lohane.
We're done for today.
I'll go to the sauna, and you'll go to bed.
-You'll lie down and rest. -I will not!
Because a woman of your age, in your situation,
is all wrong.
What about my age?
Clóvis?
Clóvis, open the door!
Clóvis!
Lohane?
Lohane.
We need to talk.
Lohane, answer me.
Lohane.
No way! I can't believe it!
Lohane?
Are you hitting on my wife?
Are you serious?
I won't even answer that. Look at me!
I don't know your wife!
Do you know why? She is a woman! I'm not interested.
Please.
Where's that weirdo?
-There she is. I found you! -Ouch! Stop it!
-Fugitive! -I thought you were robbing me.
Where are you going?
I'm trying to get us in the party.
-This lame party? -Wait a minute, Clóvis!
-Back to the hotel now! -You're hurting me!
-But I wanna go to the party! -Stop it, girl.
-Just a little bit, Clóvis! -No way!
-Please, just 30 minutes. -Let go of my arm.
-Let's have some fun! -Get off me!
-Come with me! -Let me go now!
Sorry.
Look what you did, girl.
You told me to let you go, so I did.
I just took a shower, now I'm a mess.
Look. I can't believe it, Lohane.
Just look at it.
It was not my fault.
I want a hug.
-No, Clóvis! Don't be resentful, wait! -Hug me.
You! You're the man who scammed me!
Run!
-She's crazy! Where's my check? -Come back!
-Where's my check? -Get them!
Stop those thieves!
Run!
See what you did, you idiot? You should've listened to me.
Now I won't even be able to rest in this hotel.
I'm so nervous!
I can't go to jail, Clóvis!
Listen, get our stuff from the room and meet me at the car.
May I help you?
Hello, good evening. How are you?
I would like to check out.
Is there a problem?
The hotel is a shithole.
Actually, this city is a shithole.
The state.
The country.
The planet is a shithole.
If I could, I'd check out of the Milky Way.
But I can't even die. Where would I go?
What if it's worse?
Hurry up, kid. I have to go.
So, will you cancel the deposit?
Of course not. It's already been done.
You'll get it on Monday. Just refund the difference.
I can't refund what we don't have.
Listen up, kid.
I'm already all dirty.
Do you want to make it even worse?
-Give my money back. -No.
Are you trying to scam me?
I'll refund your money on Monday.
I'll be far away from here on Monday, so help me God.
Not even all the sea here
can wash away all the shit that was done to me.
Unfortunately, you must wait.
Okay, I'll wait.
But I'll sit so I won't get tired.
No, sir, please.
So nice.
Don't do that, please. For the love of God!
-No, please. -I am tired! I'm gonna lie down.
-It's so comfortable. I'm sleepy. -No, sir.
-So good. -For God's sake, don't do that!
-Stand up, please! -Okay.
No problem, I'm sorry.
I just ran into this.
You'll pay for it!
So, give me my money back!
Wow, dude.
We came out on top, Clóvis!
Yesterday I was down, but today I'm rich!
We came out on top?
There's no "we." Who's "we"?
We are different. You want other things.
You just want to have fun,
to party, you know?
Not me. I'm all dirty. I couldn't even take a shower.
We're different, Lohane.
I wanna be alone. I like it that way.
Like Greta Garbo.
I'll buy your trailer in the morning, and then we're done.
Why are you being so rude?
Let's try to sleep.
Nasty.
This is your trailer.
No, this is not a trailer. I wanted a trailer.
You wanted one, past tense.
It's all we have. Don't you like it?
Look, a trailer is ideal for making burgers.
Where is your Brazilian creativity?
Where are your survival skills?
We know how to reinvent ourselves!
You can use this van to come up with a deal.
The Van Combo!
I am tired of being Brazilian, then!
That's your loss,
because we've made invaluable contributions.
The airplane, wristwatches, electronic voting, hair straightening
and the most famous one, the Brazilian wax.
-The full bikini wax. -No.
A full bikini wax is awful for peeing because the pee goes everywhere.
-I don't need all this information. -You do!
Women suffer in these horrible bathrooms!
We need to work our quadriceps to pee,
and the stream must be steady and straight.
Okay, I don't wanna know that.
Do we agree on the van?
-Do I have a choice? -No.
So, this is it. Thank you.
You're welcome.
It was my pleasure.
See you around?
Maybe. Life is unpredictable.
Okay, then.
All right, then.
Great.
Great, then.
Goodbye.
Now is goodbye for real.
Good luck, Clóvis. Take care.
You too.
I didn't learn to say goodbye
I don't know if I will ever get used to it
Looking right into your eyes
I know it will be engraved in mine
The stare in your eyes
I have nothing to say
What the fuck?
Are you insane? What are you doing?
You gave me a van.
You promised me a trailer. I want a trailer!
Stop complaining!
This is a piece of shit!
I gave you what I could. Just take it!
You said you'd give me a trailer. I want my trailer!
-I won't! -Yes, you will!
-You're stupid! -No, you are!
Damn it!
What the fuck?
I can't believe it.
Fuck!
Change the station. This song sucks.
I like it.
I also liked my car.
But I had to leave it behind with a blown engine.
You are so grumpy.
My God, Clóvis.
Let's celebrate that our family is together again!
What? I'm only here because I need to be.
You hung on to me like a disease, a virus. I'll get rid of you soon.
I'm having some technical difficulties. Can someone hear me?
I love this one!
Man, this song is awesome.
So good.
This is a song for driving, for freedom.
Feel the freedom.
The cops are after me, remember?
You're so pessimistic.
It attracts negativity.
You're too serious, too grumpy.
You need to enjoy life.
You want me to enjoy?
Want me to live?
-That's what you want? -Yes.
-Do you want freedom? Okay. -Freedom.
Freedom!
Excitement!
There you go.
I felt nothing. My life didn't change one bit.
You didn't really mean it.
You didn't let yourself be completely free.
Look at me.
I'm totally lost, sitting next to a criminal,
but I'm here physically and spiritually.
-You want me to let go? -Yes.
And live?
All you do is criticize.
It was just some advice. You don't have to do it.
If freedom is what you want, freedom is what you'll get.
Tell people I'm here…
Set me free, DJ!
So take risks, kiss, make mistakes
Love doesn't come with a warning sign
Tell people I'm here We only live once
Lohane!
Lohane! Pay attention!
I'm done!
It's been hard to live like this!
Very hard!
After this incarnation, spare me from coming back.
There's nothing left for me to endure!
Come on.
I'm sorry, Clóvis.
Fuck!
Clóvis, I'm hungry.
Aren't you?
I'm talking to you.
-Talk to my foot! -Your foot reeks!
Your past reeks.
-It's the same as yours. -Absolutely not.
I grew up, I evolved, I moved on.
My life went downhill because of you.
Clóvis, don't lie.
The cops were after you, and I saved you, darling.
I brought joy to your life.
Turn that off. I don't want to talk to you.
Talk to my foot.
Lohane.
-What is it? -A mosquito.
-Leave it, man. -I'm serious. I need it.
-For what? -Eating.
-A mosquito? -Stop!
Don't move.
I'm not moving, Clóvis.
I'm actually numb from starvation.
My stomach is eating itself.
If I put any food in my mouth, it will disintegrate.
It landed.
What was that, Clóvis?
That's a crime.
That's domestic battery.
People do say assaults happen in the family, at home!
What home, girl?
Is this a home? Since when?
We've hit rock bottom.
It's not about the trailer
or getting rich.
-No? -No, it's the law of the jungle.
It's about survival.
It's about not starving.
Where are you going?
To look for food.
-And I'll be here, starving? -I don't know!
I'm not your guardian. I won't feed a couch potato.
I'm no such thing!
I have a business, Clóvis. I'm a small business owner.
Small indeed, microscopic. No one even knows it exists.
I don't wanna listen to you. I don't care about you!
DJ, turn on the music! Hit it!
People are scared
after two scammers arrived in the Lakes Region
and started committing crimes.
Clóvis! Come back here, hurry!
They've already scammed a travel agency,
a bank and a luxury hotel in Arraial do Cabo.
-What is it? -Listen.
The city security cameras caught them in action.
The police have been informed
and the footage will help the investigation.
Clóvis!
We went too far.
We lost control, Clóvis!
Why didn't we study more?
I could've been a doctor, a lawyer.
I could be in a courthouse, but look at me!
What did you say?
I wanted to be a doctor.
The problem is
between my current self and my doctor self,
there's a medical school that takes eight years.
What should help me get closer to practicing medicine
is what keeps me away.
Life is so crazy.
So crazy.
I know how we'll get out of here.
UMBERTO MODIANO AIRPORT
DEPARTURES
-Emergency! -It's a transplant, excuse us.
-It's an emergency. -We have to board now.
-I wasn't informed. -I'm informing you now.
There are specific logistics for this procedure.
Do you know what the world needs?
A heart! What is in here? A heart!
A person is dying, and you're wasting our time!
The Air Force does that, ma'am.
It transports politicians. They don't even have a heart!
The Air Force sent us, and you send us back to the Air Force?
What should I do?
Ask Santa Claus for a sleigh?
Is that so?
This is an outrage! I can't board the plane!
-An outrage! -An outrage!
Fine, the flight isn't full.
-Documents, please. -Here.
I can't believe we did it!
Can you speak louder? Do you want to get arrested now or later?
-What? I didn't do anything. -Yes, now you're a saint.
-I'm going to the restroom. -Go ahead.
-Stay here. I don't know this city. -Fine.
If you leave me, they'll find me in ten years with dreadlocks.
-A hobo. -Hurry up, girl.
A vagrant!
Just go already!
Clóvis.
-You're under arrest. -Shit.
Fuck.
Hurry up. What is taking so long?
They can't even arrest people efficiently in this country.
Come on!
Clóvis?
CLÓVIS CARDOZO GOMES ADMITTANCE: 04-14-2017
In jail, with no money, without Lohane, and with that crazy bearded guy beside me.
It would be the end for anyone,
but a real con artist never gives up.
You know you're done, right?
Based on your criminal record,
you will spend, I don't know, about 20 years in prison.
-Let's talk it over. -I won't talk to you.
Nunes, just take him.
If I help you, will you help me?
Help me? You can't even help yourself.
Tell me. Do you think this guy has something to offer me?
Scumbag.
Two hundred years ago,
an ensign got outraged by the injustices of the Portuguese Crown
and fought for our freedom.
But his own accomplices turned him in.
He was hanged, quartered, and his remains were publicly displayed.
The traitors were acquitted by the queen.
The title has gained several synonyms since:
snitch, tattletale, narc, whistle-blower, rat.
Recently, it received a much cooler one:
Plea bargaining.
Let me talk to him.
It's trending.
Everybody's doing it.
I can't miss out on this.
Neither can you, right?
Spit it out.
I'll do it only if I can get a pardon.
What are you talking about?
A Federal Senator.
Go on.
There's a money-laundering scheme involving fake works of art.
I know about it because I'm involved, the counterfeiter.
Nice to meet you. I'm the artist, actually.
Who is always undermined, unappreciated, who's paid less…
But let's not talk about that.
I am willing to cooperate,
and you can catch not only a small fish like myself,
but a shark.
A shark! That's right.
-Nunes! -What?
Have you ever eaten a shark?
Listen, you deadbeat, the feds have joined the case.
You see?
Do you think this ankle bracelet is just an accessory?
You are being monitored 24/7.
I promised to deliver the Senator's head on a platter,
so don't think about screwing me over.
Relax, I won't do anything behind your back.
One more thing.
If something goes wrong, you're done.
And not for 20 years, you'll be a lifer.
Everything will work out just fine, deputy.
Think about your promotion.
Hey, take this.
I have a copy. One week.
That's all you got. One week.
Lohane? Where are you?
The check scam is working here in São Paulo.
-I almost fell for it. -I created a monster.
No, you didn't create a monster,
you gave birth to a monster and left it in the gutter.
I told you not to leave me.
Luckily, I'm very charming.
Hi there!
Will you let me talk?
Clóvis, I'm not gonna be mad at you
only because I left with nothing but my clothes,
and now I'm here, looking stunning,
in one of the biggest cities, São Paulo,
and I'm on the lookout for better opportunities…
if you know what I mean.
Lohane, where are you?
Where am I?
I'm on Oscar.
Oscar Freire.
You were not delusional, you're right. We're siblings.
Siblings fight, you know?
They get angry, argue, say they won't speak to each other again.
-Thirty minutes later, it's all fine. -Thirty?
I spent a hell of a night alone in São Paulo.
-I saw terrible things. -Listen.
I had to sort some things out and find a place for us to stay.
And now I'm here to take you to this apartment I got.
-You already did that? -I have connections.
Now let's go, because we really are siblings.
We are family, and I have a proposition for you.
Proposition?
Our last scam together.
A big one.
I knew it, Clóvis.
When you talked about siblings and family, I knew you were up to something.
Unfortunately, I can't.
I have an event that cannot be postponed, my life!
I can't miss it.
If I survived 24 hours here without you, I can survive the entire month.
It's not about survival,
I'm talking about something big. A lot of money.
Impossible. How much?
You know that I've always liked to draw.
Eventually I became a really good painter.
So good that I counterfeited famous paintings.
I got in touch with a Senator who liked to buy these paintings.
Then I sold him a fake painting for really good money.
But that man broke into my apartment, got all his money back,
and stole the money I made selling the Christ.
That's why I was running away the day you showed up and I ran over you.
An art counterfeiter?
Yeah.
My God.
You never cease to amaze me.
We just need to sell him a new painting.
And he pays well.
I'll do everything perfectly, as I always do.
But he knows me, he already screwed me over,
so I need a new guy to talk to him.
Or a new girl. You, dear.
No. No way.
Listen, you want to do business with the big shot who screwed you over?
What do you want me to do, jump off a bridge?
Gargle with the Tietê River's water? No way!
-What else do you want? -It'll work this time.
You just need to sell the painting and get the money.
Trust me on this.
It's the last scam, I promise.
We'll have a better life.
Trust me.
Will I get half of the money?
Of course!
You'll be able to buy a brand-new trailer and much more.
No, you'll buy it with your share, as promised.
You'll give me my share, and then you'll buy a trailer with yours.
Such a smart-ass.
I had a good teacher.
Fine.
It's a deal.
Abaporu.
One of the most important paintings in the history of art.
It was bought at an auction for $2,5 million.
-More than six million reais. -Too expensive.
-It's worth $30 million today. -Damn! Thirty?
And my burgers are three bucks a pop.
It was painted by Tarsila do Amaral.
Tarsila? Who is she?
Tarsila was modern.
I think of myself as modern, too, Clóvis.
-She had a clean technique. -I mastered that technique.
My bank account is all cleaned up.
Look, write down she had a Brazilwood phase.
So lucky.
I've never gotten out of that phase.
I've been in that phase for ages, I've never seen foreign wood.
Listen up.
You must be convincing.
-Okay. -Okay?
I'll paint a Portinari now.
Who?
Girl…
Impressionism, expressionism, cubism, and surrealism, go!
Impressionists paint their impression of reality. It's boring.
Expressionists express their suffering, their emotions.
They get drunk, and their paintings are wonky. I like it.
What's wrong, Clóvis?
-Creative crisis. -Economic crisis, you mean.
A person can't have a creative crisis without a dime.
Paint anything!
I know. Want me to be your muse?
Cheap erotica? Are you insane?
My crisis will last forever. Go study, Lohane.
Picasso: Spanish, cubist, millionaire.
Me: Brazilian, con artist, fucked up.
Amazing!
Horrible.
I'm not ready.
I'm mixing everything up. I'm desperate.
Just say what I told you.
That he's interested in pieces of artistic and financial value,
and you have something he'll like.
I don't know what it is.
I've lied so much, and now I'm being honest?
I feel sick.
Get me some water.
Taste is good, but money is money.
You might not like a Picasso in your living room,
but you'll love a Picasso in your bank account.
Yes, I'll send it. I'll send it now.
Just a minute.
Done.
But be discreet.
Pretend you received some nudes.
Which is also true
because the artist strips for the art.
I told you. It's amazing.
-Thirty thousand? -A hundred.
No, I'm sorry. That's one installment.
We sell it for 100, but I'll sell it to you for 90.
-Or no deal. Stand your ground. -Or no deal.
Stand your ground.
So?
No deal.
Motherfucker.
I got rejected for something I didn't even want, Clóvis.
It's all your fault. What now?
"Fifty grand and it's a deal."
Deal.
Can you hear me, Clóvis?
Loud and clear.
Act naturally, like you're an honest person.
I don't know how. I was born dishonest.
Don't answer me! They'll think you're crazy.
They already do.
I'm a medium. I'm here for your family.
The deceased just checked into Heaven. Everything is fine.
Your energy is murky.
I'll pray for you.
God damn it!
Are you dead or alive?
The man coming, is he alive?
That's Fortunato.
-Jesus! -Fortunato. Nice to meet you.
Don't do that, we can't tell if you're alive.
You're like a ghost.
São Paulo was built on top of an indigenous cemetery.
São Paulo is a double-decker cemetery.
The energy here is so murky.
I've got goosebumps. What the hell?
I'm here for the painting.
About that, I'm not the counterfeiter.
I'm a medium, and I use spirituality to paint.
I don't use my hands. It's a unique technique.
I paint with my feet, and I go like…
You should see it.
I don't care if you paint them or not.
I'm just here for the painting. Where is it?
-What was that, Lohane? -What?
-Yes.
Yes!
Too many people talking at the same time.
I apologize.
I have a great connection. They're so close.
There are great artists buried here, okay? They're talking to me.
They're very happy with our deal. It's the deal of a lifetime, or death.
Just kidding.
Say there's something in your eye.
-What's going on here? -Something got in my eyes.
My eyes! There's something in them.
-Why is that homeless man looking at us? -What? Homeless man?
That one over there?
I didn't see him. He blended in.
Cemeteries have beggars.
It's the voodoo offerings.
They eat the offerings since they have no food.
It's food for the saints. It's great.
Gumbo, stew. It's heavenly, delicious.
-Sorry. -I'll ask again.
Do you know that homeless man?
How would I know him?
That's absurd! Nobody knows a homeless man.
Who calls them up and invites them to go have a drink?
No such thing. Let's cut to the chase. Your Portinari.
I told you it would work.
We're a team. We're a duo!
Yes, we are a duo!
Hey, let's sing a duet. No singing by ourselves.
You said we're a duo, so let's sing.
Which duo are we?
Sandy & Junior, obviously. They're siblings, too.
I'm Sandy, then!
I said it first.
Of course not! I'm Sandy, I'm a girl. You're Junior.
I don't wanna be Junior.
I don't have to. I don't relate with him.
I'm more like Sandy, you know?
I'll be Sandy, sorry.
It'll be Sandy and Sandy. I won't be Junior 'cause you're Sandy.
All right, Sandy and Sandy.
We'll tell society that we don't follow rules.
-We can do whatever we want. -Great, let's get a drink, Sandy.
I've decided to lay my cards on the table
I decided to go after you
And show that I am crazy
For you
You better think
Of what you will say to me
I want someone to love me
You better think
Of what you will do
So that you won't hurt me
I will always love you
I'm stuck on you And it's for real
Come to me
Let's be happy
Clóvis?
Good afternoon.
Welcome to this beautiful event. You make it beautiful.
I see we have distinguished people here this afternoon,
but the star of the event
is a very rare piece painted by Portinari.
Let's take a look at it. Please.
What a beautiful painting. I've got goosebumps.
It's been a while since I've seen a Portinari so up close.
The owner of this rare piece of art
is an eminent personality in Brazil,
Senator Afonso Narcos, who is here with us today.
Please, Senator, stand up.
Nice suit, Senator.
Thank you. You may sit down.
The initial bid for our masterpiece,
stipulated by our appraisers,
is 800,000 reais.
Anyone?
A million! Wonderful!
A million! Who bids more?
We have an enthusiast over there, 1,2 million.
Who bids more?
1,4 million.
Get ready, Clóvis. It's time.
-Fill my glass. -Ask another waiter.
Now, Clóvis.
Lohane, no!
What are you doing here?
-What are you doing here? -Going once…
How did you get here?
I followed you.
Go away. Trust me, it's for the best.
Trust you, Clóvis?
What are you hiding?
I'm hiding you from the cops. Go away.
Excuse me.
Who bids more? 2,3 million over there.
Anyone?
2,6 million reais.
Anyone? 2,8 million.
It's a very close race.
Who bids more?
Three million over here!
The guy who bought it from me is buying it again?
What are you up to?
Sold to the gentleman here. Congratulations.
Let's hear it for him.
I can't explain now. Go away!
Not until you explain everything.
You're getting in my way. Go!
Stop!
Just for a minute.
I have something for you.
Why is a waiter interrupting the auction?
And some people say people don't appreciate art.
Do you plan on bidding? Did you sign up for the event?
I'm not here for that.
I'm here to make an offer.
If this painting is worth three million, then tell me something.
How much is this one worth?
What? A fake replica?
Which one? Mine or the Senator's?
Or both?
Which one is faker?
-Arrest him, deputy. -He is insane! Security!
Attention, everyone. The auction is over!
What?
What's going on?
Please leave in a calm and organized manner.
I'll get your statements.
Not you, Senator. Wait a minute.
Wait a minute, yeah.
Stop right there.
Senator, I'm the police chief.
I apologize, sir,
but I've received a tip about a money laundering scheme
involving your painting.
Not that it means you're involved,
but there is evidence that this painting is fake.
Deputy, I am a federal senator.
I have jurisdiction privileges.
-Really? -Don't worry.
I will do everything I can to clarify this situation.
Allow me.
He paid 50 thousand for the painting,
so he would get three million for it legally.
Dirty money of unknown provenance would get into his account legally.
Deputy, please, you can speak to my lawyers.
-I trust the justice system. -You won't arrest him?
-Arrest him! I'll do it, then. -No!
-You're hurting me! -I'll make a citizen's arrest!
-Arrest him, dude! -Chief.
What's going on, Clóvis?
No, not her.
The Senator gets to walk, but she doesn't?
It is what it is.
You promised a money-laundering scheme with fake paintings and a senator.
Senators are untouchable. Who's left?
The counterfeiter and the receiver.
Don't you know that the weakest always goes to the wall?
-That wasn't the deal! -I made a deal with you.
You brought her into it.
If you had told me the truth, I would've helped.
I can't go back empty-handed.
I need to think about my promotion.
Right?
Take her.
She's a decent person.
She works. She has a trailer.
I do.
She is a fighter. I made her do it.
You said it was all set and good to go.
I told you I'm a liability.
You can use it all against me, but let her go.
Take me away from society and mankind…
but don't take the only person I love.
What is this, a soap opera? What are you?
-Siblings. -Siblings.
18 MONTHS LATER
I served my time, all right?
The court, on the other hand,
sentenced me to eight years in prison, but gradually reduced my sentence.
It was initially reduced for helping to solve the crime I committed myself.
Then, it was reduced even more.
There were so many appeals,
that I think I was released with some credits with the law.
And if you think my sentence was short,
even with all the evidence,
the Senator got away with everything.
I can't believe it!
GET THE GRIFT
Here you go.
The Double Scam comes with two burgers, cheese, lettuce and tomato.
The Jailbird comes with a chicken patty and our special sauce.
The Vegan Fraud tastes like meat,
but it's eggplant with barbecue sauce.
And the Crooks' Salad is made with tofu.
-I don't like it. -I do.
-Really? -Sure.
-Make that two. -Two?
Two Crooks' Salads, Lohane!
Coming right up!
Now this is a good napkin! It's great!
I'm proud to serve good products to my clients.
Here we have barbecue and mayo.
Real mayo. It's to die for.
-Enjoy! -Thank you.
Crooks' Salad never made anybody sick.
Some things are way worse.
Don't be lazy, Clóvis!
Get back to work, honey!
-We gotta pay the bills. -But I am working!
Can't you see that? I am working.
Would you like anything else? See, I'm working.
Go make your sandwiches.
Write down that she had a Brazilwood phase.
Unbelievable.
Impressionists paint their impression of reality, of beauty.
-It's boring. -It's boring.
Did you come out?
Are you out yet?
Cheese-Lohane, Chicken-Lohane, Lohane-Salad and Ho--
"Holane!"
Start from the top.
Try again.
Yes, I don't have a permit, I can't sell food,
but you can't, you can't…
-Wait! -Let's go back now!
-This party is great! -It sucks!
Wait, dude!
Let me go. Why are we leaving?
Let's go back!
-Wait, stay here with me. -Let go.
-Let go of my arm! -I won't!
Let's go to sleep.
I'm trying.
The Air Force sent us here,
and you send us back to the Air Force?
What should we do?
-You serve fake mayonnaise… -Be careful!
It's loose.
For God's sake, don't do that.
I wanted to be a doctor.
The problem is
between my current self and my doctor self is…
Sorry.
-Make that two. -Two? Two Salad…
Bye!
You dropped your mic.
And listen, if I survival…
-If I "survival." -If I "survival."
Our last scam together, a big one.
I knew it, you know?
I knew it…
I knew it, you know?