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[dramatic music]
[gentle music]
- [Woman] Hey guys.
- Hi.
- [Woman] Hey.
- Oscar Fielding?
- [Woman] Yeah, I guess.
- [Woman] Seems like the right place.
- [Man] What's up man?
- [Man] Hey.
- So you check it out?
- [Woman] Did any of you guys get like a key or something?
Cause this door's locked.
- Okay. - This doors locked?
- There's another one down here.
- After you.
- [Man] Hey, how's it going guys?
- [Woman] Hi.
- Miguel.
- [Woman] Man, check out the snow.
- Code is 776, come on in.
[door beeps]
- [Woman] Hey.
- It worked.
- All right Fielding, I see you.
- Hello?
- Anybody home?
It's warm.
- Yeah, nice place.
- It's nice.
- It's gorgeous.
- Hey guys, check this out.
Welcome Cole, Miguel, Riley, Spree, Mollie, and Richard.
Welcome to my cabin, to our work, my getaway.
You may be familiar with some of my books or documentaries.
Okay, let me explain.
I'm a member of the church
and I want to discover who you are.
I want to write a book about you,
the millennials, maybe, maybe let's see,
maybe make a documentary.
So I sent out the email you got, thank you for responding
and I selected you.
Not sure why, just a gut feeling.
Talk to me about whatever comes to mind.
What makes you tick, your thoughts,
your passions, your dreams, fears,
hopes your outlook on love, life, intimacy.
- Intimacy, that won't take long.
- The church, God, eternity, that kind of stuff.
I've left a camera on the counter.
Please record your stories, tell me who you are.
Have fun.
You're on your own.
The girls can sleep in the bedroom, above the garage
the guys can sleep in the house.
I really appreciate your help
and I look forward to learning more about you.
I ordered a few pizzas for you
and please put away your phones.
You can get them back when you go to bed tonight.
Oscar fielding.
- Come on, that is really, the phones?
- Yeah, we gotta put the phones away.
- Empty bowl.
- Let's do it.
- Okay.
- Why not?
- [Woman] Goodbye.
- [Woman] You're not gonna die without.
- Oh my God.
- Not funny.
Come on man.
- So who's gonna do the video?
- Looks pretty complicated.
- Nah, I got it.
I'm a film major.
I actually played around with
this camera in my last semester.
- I think we're missing someone.
- Cole.
- Here.
- Miguel.
- Yo.
- Riley.
Yeah, he's not here yet.
- Does anybody else think that this is a little crazy?
Like weird?
- You bet ya.
- I thought he'd be here at least.
- Yeah, a little strange.
- I left something in my truck, I'll be right back.
- Don't bail on us.
[engine rumbles]
[car door's banging]
- Oh my God.
Thank you so much.
- Of course.
Have fun.
- Thank you.
Hey, is this Fielding's place?
- It is if your names Riley.
- Yeah, I'm Riley.
- Really?
- Really Riley.
- Okay, well I'm Cole.
- Really Cole?
- Yeah.
Anyway, come on in.
- [Man] So yeah, I guess we're on our own.
- [Woman] Okay.
- Oh, I need your phone.
- Seriously?
- I know.
Hey guys, this is Riley.
- Hi.
- [Woman] Hey.
She's a she yo.
- Welcome.
- Welcome lady.
- So let's introduce ourselves.
- Okay.
- Talk to me.
- Hi, I'm Spree, I'm from Whitefish, Montana.
I am a dance major at Utah Valley University
and I've been dancing all my life.
So yeah, that's me.
- [Miguel] Wait, wait, wait.
You have to make a funny face at the end.
- Why?
- Those are the rules.
- Really, the rules?
- [Man] Okay, come on.
- Okay, fine.
- No, no, no, do the whole thing over
and then make the funny face.
- No.
- Come on, dude.
- Okay.
- It would just make it, you know?
- Okay.
Hi, I'm spree, I'm from Whitefish, Montana.
I go to UVU.
I'm a dance major.
I have danced all my life because I am a dancer.
- [Miguel] Okay, cool.
- All right, you're up Miguel, give me the camera.
- Okay.
Miguel here from West Valley Film Major
at Salt Lake Community College, Spielberg and embryo.
- So, why slick?
- Because they have a great film program.
- Really?
- Yeah, they do.
- All right then.
- Oh, okay, your turn.
- Hi, I'm Mollie.
I'm from Boston, English major at the U.
Love, love, love Shakespeare.
- How about a quote?
- This above all to thine own self be true
and it must follow as the night
the day thou canst not then be false to any man.
- Chapter and verse?
- Hamlet, act one, scene two, scene three.
- Nice.
- Dank.
All right.
- [Spree] Mollie.
- Yeah, I'm Cole.
Just coming back from taking some time off,
history major at the U.
- Cool, cool Cole.
Gonna make a funny face or what?
Yeah, that was hilarious, okay.
- Oh, Riley, poly psy major at BYU.
Transferred from university of Virginia, UVA
and went on a mission to Brazil.
So [speaking in foreign language].
- Beautiful.
- Fancy, she's fancy.
- Nice.
All right, you're up.
- Richard.
Getting my master's in physics at the U.
I'm planning to go back East
to get my doctorate, MIT hopefully.
- Wow.
- Oh yeah.
- [Miguel] Cool.
How about that funny face though?
- Come on, lame.
- Come on.
- Smarty pants.
- We all did it.
- Guys, just.
- Okay, all right.
Well, that's a start.
- So what are we really doing here?
Why does this Fielding guy want us to talk about ourselves?
- It was in the email he sent us.
He's writing a book.
Maybe doing a documentary, some research.
I don't know.
- Well, we're here.
Let's go do something.
- [Miguel] Yeah.
- Yeah.
- I mean I could eat.
[people yelling] [people laughing]
- So Spielberg, how'd you get your name?
- My parents?
- I mean do you have any middle names or?
Mexicans like to give their kids a lot of names.
- Dude.
- Well first of all,
my families not from Mexico, they're from Peru.
Not everything south of the boarder is Mexico Richard.
And yeah, my full name
is Miguel Xavier Fernando Martinez Pablo Rivera.
You can call me any of those.
- I'll go with Spielberg.
- I'm down with that.
- [Mollie] Here cool?
- [Cole] Yeah, right there is fine.
- [Miguel] Thank you.
That was fun dude.
- [Cole] Yeah.
- So, anybody here married?
[group laughs]
Been married?
- [Man] Not a chance.
- [Woman] Girl.
- Hey, I'm just asking.
- Okay, well then who's not a virgin?
Yeah right.
- Yeah.
- No ones believes that.
- I was kidding guys.
- Obviously.
- But seriously, who's not?
- All right, that's a bit inappropriate.
- Be nice Richard.
- It's a little bit personal.
- Isn't that what we're doing here, getting personal?
- Let's move on.
- Come on, let's answer the question, who's not a virgin?
- Shut up Richard.
- That's not very nice.
- I wasn't trying to be nice.
- Come on guys, just chill.
- Okay.
Anyone been engaged.
- Why are you all looking at me?
- You look like you might have been engaged.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- So have you?
- All right, let's go inside.
- My bad.
I bet he was hot.
- [Miguel] Anybody ever held hands?
- [Cole] What does it matter?
- [Miguel] Shut up man.
[dramatic music]
- What's up Cole, what's your story?
- No story, just me.
- [Richard] Not buying that.
- [Mollie] Me neither.
- Okay, just the normal provo, Utah kid, nothing special.
Did all the right things you know?
Duty to God award, Eagle scout.
- I bet he never missed a day of seminary.
- Into sports, baseball mainly.
- Go Red Sox.
- Keep going.
- Senior class president,
look, this is pretty boring stuff, guys.
- We interrupt this to say
we've just found a good little Mormon boy.
Go on.
- All right, went to the U straight out of high school.
- Baseball scholarship?
- [Cole] Yeah.
- Nice
- [Richard] Way to go Cole.
- [Miguel] Did you go on a mission?
- I did.
- Where?
- South Africa, Johannesburg.
- [Miguel] Wow, that must have been cool.
- So how was South Africa?
- It was challenging.
I mean, it was great, but.
- But what?
- I got in a car accident.
- [Spree] What happened, did anybody get hurt?
- Yeah, I did.
My right leg got pretty jacked up
so they sent me home to have surgery.
- That sucks.
- Sorry.
- The whole thing sucked.
- Oh, how'd the surgery go?
- Put a metal rod, bunch of screws in my thigh.
Fixed a few things in my knee.
I mean the leg's all right, but no more scholarship.
- Right.
- Other than that, it's all good.
- It seems like there's more to the story.
[guitar strumming]
- So Spielberg, give me the camera.
How'd you get into this whole film thing?
- Ever since I was a kid I've wanted to make movies.
- [Richard] What was the first movie you saw
that made a real impression on you?
- Napoleon dynamite.
- You're kidding.
- I was nine years old and I loved it.
My parents had no idea what the movie was about.
- I love that movie.
- Yeah, Christmas that year actually
my mom got me a video camera.
I've been doing it ever since.
- Okay, so what other movies do you like?
- Oh wow.
Love all kinds.
The classics of the fifties, musicals, comedies, dramas.
Pretty much everything.
- Favorite directors?
- Easy.
Spielberg of course.
Hitchcock, Scorsese, Coppola, Woody Allen.
James Cameron, hated Titanic though.
- [Richard] What?
That was a classic.
- Ron Howard, Tarantino was cool,
but too far out for me.
Then there's the old school,
Fellini, Ingmar Bergman, gotta love Orson Welles.
Rosebud.
Citizen Kane?
- I have no idea.
- Wow, okay.
Seriously you guys?
- So Spree, you're a dancer, right?
- Yes.
Been dancing since I was four.
Catherine's dance studio.
- How'd you get the name Spree?
- My dad, served a mission in Germany
and there was a river there named Spree
and he liked it so now there's a girl here named Spree.
- And he likes you.
- Yeah.
- What else?
- I like to eat peanut butter, pickle, and onion sandwiches.
- Ew.
- That's gross.
- That's nasty.
- No, guys, it's actually way good.
I'm gonna make you one and you're gonna love it.
- I'm not gonna try it, so.
- Not gonna love it, not gonna try.
All right, keep going, keep going.
- Well most people think I'm just
this shallow cheerleader type from Montana.
- Yup.
- Hey.
There is some truth to that.
So yeah, that's me.
- Oh my gosh.
- Loser.
- So sneaky.
- That's good.
- I love this game.
- All right, Richard, Richard, the man of mystery.
You've been awfully quiet.
What's your deal?
- Not really in the mood.
Don't have anything to say.
- Yeah, you do.
I can see it.
- Really?
- Yup.
- What do you see?
- Someone who's confused.
- Angry.
- Sad.
- Handsome.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- A sweet guy.
- Is that a compliment?
- Of course.
- So do you have anyone significant in your life?
- Nope.
Well, my family.
- Ever had anyone significant?
- No, not really.
- What does that mean?
- It means I've never had any one significant,
I've had lots of significant's.
At the same time.
[group yelling]
- That's the way you do, huh?
- Okay guys, how about we step this up a notch?
Ultimate spoons.
- Yes.
- I am so much better at that game.
- You've never played this before?
- It's so fun.
[group chattering]
[people yelling]
- Sorry.
- I'm sorry, did I?
- Yeah, you're good.
- Okay.
So Mollie, you're from Boston,
went to BC, how'd you end up here?
- Well these missionaries seem like they were everywhere.
Cute guys.
- Oh yeah.
- And one day they saw me.
It was raining and I was standing underneath
an awning outside a Starbucks on Beacon street
sipping a midnight mint mocha frappuccino.
Gosh, I missed that.
Anyway, I was hoping the rain had stopped
and they came over and stood next to me,
started talking about Jesus.
- So how Irish Catholic were you?
- I don't know.
We only went to mass a couple of times a year.
Christmas, Easter,
did the Holy communion thing when I was eight.
- Interesting.
- Yeah, it was weird.
I was all dressed in white
and my family was super excited.
I had no idea what was going on.
Did my first penance when I was seven.
- What the heck is that?
- It's where you go to the priest
and you confess all your sins.
- Wait, wait, wait,
you had sin to confess when you were seven?
- I'm from Boston, of course I did.
[all laughing]
- Yeah, I'm just kidding, I can't remember.
But the missionaries got to talking
and kept raining, the more it rained,
the more interesting they got.
Pretty soon right there on Beacon street
we're talking about Joseph Smith and the book of Mormon.
- What was your reaction?
- Well first I thought they were
talking about the Broadway musical
and that some guy named Joseph Smith was starring in it.
- No way.
- I had no idea
But I don't, I don't know.
Thought it was interesting.
I wasn't looking for anything like God, you know,
hadn't really thought about it.
But all of a sudden I was thinking about it.
[bell rings]
- Is Oscar fielding here?
- No.
- [Man] You're not Mr. Fielding?
- Nope.
- No.
- Is this his house.
- Yeah.
- Are you sure I'm at the right place?
- We're pretty hungry, pizza guy.
Can we have the pizzas?
- Okay.
- Thanks pizza guy.
- Thank you.
- Drinks.
- Bye.
[group laughs]
Did you see his face?
[people chattering]
- So Riley, you were weren't you?
- What?
- Engaged.
- Drop it.
- Actually, yeah, I was.
- What happened?
- Who dumped who?
- He didn't dump me.
- So you dumped him?
- Kinda.
- Kinda?
You either did or you didn't.
- Right, right, fine.
I dumped him.
- Why?
- Oh.
- We're just being honest here Riley.
Open.
- Look.
Okay, yeah.
He and I had been dating since high school.
He was a couple of years older.
Anyway, he went to college, it was nearby.
So he lived at home.
We're in the same ward.
I used to like to see him bless the sacrament on Sundays.
- Cool.
- Did he go on a mission?
- Yeah.
- Did you date while he was gone?
- [Riley] Kinda.
- Kinda?
- Yes, yes I did but not, you know, seriously.
- [Miguel] What happened when he got back?
- That's a big, no.
We're shut down.
- So Mollie, it's your turn.
- Wildest thing that's ever happened to you?
- Not going there.
- No, I want to hear this.
- Come on, come on.
- I know you have good stories.
- No, I am from Boston, that should pretty much cover it.
- Not even.
[group chattering]
- Okay, okay.
All right.
It's not the wildest thing that ever happened to me,
but I got pepper sprayed my freshman year.
- No, what?
- Why, how?
- [Mollie] It's a long story.
- No.
- [Richard] And?
- Okay, what happened?
- [All] Come on.
- Okay so Mollie, what's with all the Shakespeare stuff?
- Oh, I just love Shakespeare.
I studied him all through high school,
was in a couple of plays
and then I was an English major at BC
with a Shakespeare emphasis.
- [Richard] Did you ever play Juliet?
- No, Lady Macbeth.
- Yes.
- Seems so weird to me.
- You have heard of Shakespeare right?
- Yeah, but I don't--
- I just love the guy, okay?
When my parents were going through
their divorce his thoughts on love,
life, fear, anger, grief,
it just kind of got me through the whole thing.
The Bard was sort of my scripture
before I found the real stuff.
- That's cool.
- [Miguel] That's awesome, that's awesome.
- Yeah, it's pretty awesome.
[upbeat music] [group chattering]
- Chubby bunny.
[upbeat music]
- [Spree] You have to say chubby bunny.
- [Mollie] You have to say it.
[Cole mumbling]
- And now we just dance.
- Nice.
[upbeat music]
- Come on, bring it in.
Oh what's that?
[upbeat music] [group chattering]
- That's how they do it at the Y huh?
[upbeat music] [group chattering]
[door creaks]
- Look what I found.
- Oh my God.
- This stuff is seriously the best.
- Oh nice.
- Have you ever had that?
- Yes I have.
- It's my favorite brand.
Don't tell the boys.
- I will not.
That spoon thing was crazy.
- I know, that is one of my families FAT games.
- Oh yeah?
Hey Mollie.
- Hey.
- This is for you.
- Thank you, gratzie.
- So where did you grow up?
- Everywhere.
My dads a big shot in the air force so born in Germany,
lived in California, Japan, Turkey.
Ended up at the Pentagon.
You?
- Oh, just Montana, and here.
I did spend a little bit of time in Colorado.
- So, why'd you transfer for UVU?
- UVA.
- Right, Virginia.
- Yeah, just wanted to get away.
You can really dance girl.
- Thanks.
Goodnight Spree.
- Goodnight.
[light clicks]
- Wasn't sure you'd come.
- Neither was I.
It's pretty.
- Yeah it is.
Can I show you something?
- Sure.
- Take a moment and breath in the mountain air.
Listen to the wind blow through the trees.
- Yeah, it's weird how you can't see the wind,
how you can only feel it.
- Yeah, kinda like God.
- Yeah, kinda.
- Kind of.
- Are you smiling Cole?
- Yeah, you make me smile?
Anyway, above the wind and trees you got the stars,
planets, constellations, galaxies.
- And what else?
- It's a new moon.
Saturn's the most visible planet this time of year,
and when it's dark like this in the mountains
you can see everything, it's remarkable.
The whole Milky Way and more.
- Keep going.
- Mars and mercury won't be visible
for another month or so but, well there's Polaris.
The North star, the big dipper, Orion,
but Venus, the planet of love and beauty
won't be visible for another few weeks.
- So how do you know about all this stuff?
- Spent some time on a ranch in New Mexico.
- So you're a cowboy Cole.
- No, not really.
- So did you have anyone to look
at the stars with in New Mexico?
- No.
- Why not?
- I was there with a bunch of guys, sort of a work thing.
- Sorry.
- I'm not, it was good for me.
Besides, I had the stars to give me company.
Cold?
[gentle music]
Who was that guy who dropped you off this morning?
- You saw that.
- I did.
- Jealous?
- Curious.
- He's just a friend.
[gentle music]
Cole.
[gentle music]
[Mollie yawns]
- [Richard] Wow, what happened to you guys?
- Shut up Richard.
- Wow.
- [Miguel] Morning.
- Morning Riley.
- It's hot.
- [Miguel] Smell amazing.
- This looks so good.
- This is beautiful.
Thanks Richard.
Oh, shouldn't we say a blessing first?
I'll say it.
Our dear kind and gracious heavenly father.
We are grateful for this beautiful day
and for this breakfast
and for Richard who prepared it.
We pray that we will have a great day
and we love the father
and we say these things
in the name of thy son, Jesus Christ, amen.
- [All] Amen.
- Sup, Richard you a chef?
- You serve a mission to France,
you learned a lot about cuisine.
- Do you still speak French?
- Course.
- [Mollie] Well say something in French.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
[speaking in foreign language]
- [Spree] Oh, what's that mean?
- Something in French.
- No really, say something.
- No, I just did,
[speaking in foreign language] is something in French.
- Yeah, but what?
- Something in French.
- Richard.
- Oh, Spree.
- Spree, Spree, [speaking in foreign language],
whatever he said, means something in French,
that's what it means.
- Jerk, okay, well say some more.
[speaking in foreign language]
- Okay, I'm just going to interrupt you right there
and say that that is really sexy.
- Mm hmm.
- I'm not like the first girl has ever told you that, right?
- No.
[people chattering]
- What are you guys doing?
- Just cooling off.
- [Richard] It's freezing out here.
- It's beautiful though.
- Yeah it is.
- How's your social life Richard?
- Non-existing.
- [Mollie] When was your first kiss?
- High school?
- Was it electrifying?
- Shut up.
- Were there fireworks?
- No, not really.
- They must not have done it, right?
- Oh, that's a distinct possibility.
- When was your last kiss?
- It's been awhile.
- [Mollie] You're missing out, dude.
- I think I see life a little differently than you guys do.
- Differently, so you don't connect with us?
- I think you guys are great.
- But no connection?
- Well, what kind of connection are we talking about?
- [Moly] Connection.
- Like Riley and Cole?
- Yeah, like them.
- I don't know.
- Bummer.
- I don't really want to be like Riley and Cole anyway.
- They're disgusting.
- It's only been one day, I mean give me a break.
- It's a lot of pending for one day.
- It's a lot.
[Miguel singing]
[Miguel cries out]
- Dude, are you kidding me, dude?
Grow up dude.
What the freak, that was cold.
- More grief to hide, than hate to water love.
It's beautiful right.
- It's gorgeous.
- [Mollie] Do you even know what it means?
- [Miguel] Not a clue.
- [Spree] Hey guys, come check this out.
Look who I found on Facebook.
It's Riley.
Oh my gosh, you're so cute.
You're so cute.
- Hey, is this your ex?
Hey, what happened with him anyway?
- Yeah.
How did it go when he got back from his mission?
- Well, it was like Disneyland, my birthday,
and Christmas all rolled into one.
- Dang.
Somehow it just didn't work out, did it?
- Nope.
- How long did it take for him to propose?
- About a month.
- Details?
- Details, details.
- He rented a billboard on the freeway.
Yeah, one of the electronic kinds
and just flashing really cute pictures of us.
- Romantic.
- Seems a bit much.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah he took us
to a quiet place where we could see the billboard.
It was like at 10:30 at night.
And as we leaned against the front of his car
he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him.
- [Richard] And were your parents okay with this?
- Sort of.
Yeah, I don't, I don't know.
I was only 19 at the time.
- Wow.
- Yeah, yeah.
So my dad told me, he thought I should just take it slow
and you know, fast and pray about it.
The standard Mormon response to pretty much everything.
- Did you?
- No, not really.
I thought I knew what I was doing
and I mean we'd been dating for, at that point, 3 years.
Yeah, three years.
So just seemed like the logical next step.
- Did he get you a ring?
- A gorgeous ring.
Yeah, and we started making plans
and I couldn't stop staring
at my hands smiling,
but well now I have a CTR ring on that finger
just to remind me,
but yeah, I had to tell that story about a million times.
- So engagement pictures, Facebook,
Instagram, honeymoon plans?
- [Riley] All of the above.
- Oh gosh.
- What happened?
- Come on guys.
- Richard, what's up?
- Nothing.
- Well, what do you like to do, in to sports?
- Nope.
- [Cole] Why not?
- What's it to you?
- Just making conversation, Richard,
you know, getting to know each other.
- All right.
When I was about five, they found out I had
a heart condition, irregular rhythm thing.
I mean, it's fine now,
but my parents were pretty conservative.
I wanted play sports in high school
but they wouldn't sign off on it.
- And what'd you do in high school?
- You know that there's more to do
in high school then just sports Spielberg.
I studied a lot.
I got great grades, drama club.
- Hey.
- I was in a Romeo and Juliet.
It was a disaster.
Group laughs.
- Did you play Romeo?
- Juliet.
- That makes sense.
- Like I said, it was a disaster,
but I was in the chess club.
- That's really lame.
- I know, I know.
Oh, I was a one team.
- [Cole] Which one?
- The debate team.
- That's not a team.
- [Mollie] That does not count.
- You get a letter mans jacket for that?
- Hey, hey, whoa, you can laugh but it was cool.
I mean we took state, no one even came close.
- Fair enough.
- So I was in chess club, drama club,
debate team, physics club.
Oh, even the Latin club
Thought it might come in handy
if I went into medicine, or Roman mythology,
or if I wanted to be a botanist.
I was a real social animal in high school.
- [Miguel] Really?
- No.
[group laughs]
- So you ever been engaged?
- Is that a serious question?
- Guess not
- So Cole.
Did you finish your mission to South Africa?
- Actually, no.
- [Richard] Why not?
The leg was okay.
- True, but it took some time to heal.
- Did you want to go back?
- Too many memories?
- Too many questions.
- Still seems like there's more to the story.
- Yeah.
- Hey.
- You okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
- You said there was more to the story.
- I didn't say that, Richard did.
- Is there?
- When I was in the hospital, an infection set in.
There was a lot of pain and I was taking all kinds of meds.
- What kinds?
- The normal kinds of painkillers they give you.
- Heavy duty stuff?
- Yeah, pretty much.
- You got hooked on them.
Didn't you?
- Yeah, I did.
- So that's why you didn't go back to Johannesburg.
- You could say that
- Spree, something personal.
Okay, most interesting thing that's ever happened to you.
- Yeah, let's hear it.
- Interesting, personal.
- Hey, it's okay.
I mean, Riley was engaged and she totally screwed that up.
Richard has no idea who he is.
Cole did drugs, and Miguel's a want to be film guy,
and I'm just a Shakespeare freak.
We're all just your average,
everyday, LDS millennials honey.
- Cheerleader, dancer, I have a gun in my backpack.
That isn't personal enough for you guys?
- [Miguel] No way.
- Come on, let's hear it.
- Personal.
I dunno.
- You're thinking of something.
- Yeah?
- Okay, when was your first kiss?
- Oh, wow.
- [Mollie] How old were you?
- Let's see.
14.
- Wow
- Young.
- You weren't even old enough to date yet.
- Was he cute?
- Yeah, he was my boyfriend.
- Was it good?
- [Spree] I guess.
- What else?
- I don't know.
- Spit it out.
- I had a baby when I was 15.
That's pretty personal.
- Yeah, it is.
- Same guy who kissed you?
- Wow, 15.
Did you think about having an abortion?
- Mollie.
- Don't, jeez.
- [Cole] Mollie.
- That's insensitive.
- What?
It's a legit question.
- Yeah, it is guys.
My boyfriend's parents wanted me to,
you know get an abortion
but that was never really an option, you know?
- How'd it happen?
- We'd been dating for a while.
Kind of behind my parents' back.
And then one night.
- Did he rape you?
- No, no, he didn't.
You know, it's funny.
There's a period of time
when you don't know if you're pregnant
and it's just sort of this waiting game.
- You didn't tell your parents?
- No, not right away.
I went online asking questions.
I was just so young.
I didn't know anything.
We never really talked about that kind of stuff at home.
- He must've freaked out.
- Yeah.
You know you think there's very little chance
that you could actually be pregnant,
but then you're late.
- Late for what?
- Seriously?
- Late Spielberg.
- Right, got it, sorry.
- Time went by, I kept hoping.
- And what'd you do?
- I finally rode my bike down to the drug store.
It was an old, pink bike with a basket in front
and streamers on the handlebars.
It's big fat tires.
I'd heard about pregnancy tests.
Never thought that I'd have to buy one.
I didn't want to go home
so I stopped at this old rundown gas station.
And as I sat there on the toilet in this bathroom,
just staring at the thing
I'd never been so scared in my life.
- I can't even imagine.
- I mean, what was I going to do if I was pregnant?
I was only 15.
I just sat there and stared at the thing.
One line, not pregnant, two lines, pregnant.
And sure enough, two little red lines.
The kit came with two so I tried it again.
- And what'd you do?
- I just sat there on the toilet,
in that disgusting bathroom
flies buzzing around smelled so bad
and the sink was filthy
and I just cried, long and hard.
I think balled would be a better word.
Must have been pretty loud
because the guy at the gas station, he was really nice.
He knocked on the door to see if I was okay.
And I told him I was having a bad day.
Yeah, I was having a bad day.
- How'd your parents take it?
- My mom was cool about it.
Actually think she was pregnant
with me when my parents got married.
I'm not sure, maybe not,
but my dad just said something
about being more careful and walked out of the room.
- Did you stay in school?
- It was the summer after my sophomore year.
And my parents decided to send me to Colorado,
to live with my grandparents and have my baby.
My grandparents were great.
Really cool.
It was actually my grandma who introduced me
to the peanut butter, pickle and onion sandwiches.
She said it was all she could eat when she was pregnant.
- Where's the baby now?
- He's in Montana.
- So your mom's raising him.
- That's good.
So you still get to see him?
- Yeah.
Yeah, I see him, I do.
[water splashes]
[Spree crying]
- Spree, I'm sorry.
I think you're amazing.
- Thanks.
- What do you think Oscar is going
to do with this video, we're making?
Better not put it on YouTube.
- Yeah, I'm sure he's not going to do that.
- [Riley] No really, are we the normal millennials?
- [Mollie] I'm not sure that's what Fielding wants.
- You guys are making me feel more normal all the time.
- Do we really want to tell him our stories?
I mean, is that what we agreed
to when we answered the email?
- Yeah, I think it is.
- I don't know.
It just seems like all the fun's gone.
We're all a mess.
- Not Spielberg.
- Is that what he's after the mess?
- Are we sure that we want to share
our stuff with the world?
- Yeah, I don't know
because I thought it would be more political
or religious, socials, not personal.
- Well, now it's pretty personal.
- Are you bailing on us, Richard?
- Yeah, yeah, I think I am.
I just met you guys, now I'm talking about stuff
I don't want to talk about.
- Nobody's judging you.
We all have our issues.
- Not like me you don't.
- Oh, poor Richard.
His story is just so hard to tell.
- Well I'm not buying it, you just don't trust us.
- Why should I trust you?
- That's a good question.
Let's put it out to the group.
Why do we trust?
- Well, Hemingway said the best way to find out
if you can trust somebody is to trust them.
- I'm good.
- Same.
- I'm in.
- All right, you know what?
Here's what I see when I look around the room.
I see a bunch of people trying to figure out life,
trying to live a gospel that's challenging to live.
- It's got a great retirement plan.
- Yeah but the benefits come at the end.
- What about now?
- I get payments along the way.
- Okay, fine.
But the big benefits come at the very end.
And that's what we really want, isn't it?
Sorta like this, this big fat,
juicy carrot dangling out there,
enticing us with stuff we can't really understand.
- Like what?
- Like mansions, eternity, living with God
and families are forever.
I just, anything about eternity, it sounds great
but I honestly don't really know what it all means.
Do you?
- For me it means living each day,
the best that I can and hoping
that it all works out in the end.
- I wish I could see it like that Spree.
I really do.
I'm done with this.
- Hey.
- What?
- Come on, you can't leave now.
You're part of us.
- I don't really feel like a part of you.
- So you're just going to walk out, huh?
What are you afraid of Richard?
That we're going to peek into the corners of your life.
See something in you we don't like.
- No, I think I might see things in me that I don't like.
- That's what we're doing here, Richard.
No one's judging anybody, nobody's pointing fingers.
We have a chance to tell a story, our story.
A story that could actually make a difference.
Isn't that what our generation is all about?
To show our neighbors
and the people that we go to church with that yeah,
everybody's sitting at church on Sunday mornings
has issues that nobody else is aware of.
And you want to walk on it because of what?
You think no one else has the same issues as you do?
Well, trust me, Richard, they do.
- We already talked about the trust thing.
- All right, so you sit back
and watch Spree open up and spill her guts.
Riley, me, you're not alone.
No, he needs to hear this, you're not alone.
You're not the only one going through stuff, man.
And now you want to walk out on us
and most importantly on yourself,
and to be honest, it's pathetic.
You're only shutting yourself down.
You're a coward who's afraid to really be honest
and that's what's going on here, you selfish prick.
- Go to hell Cole.
- Yeah, go ahead and walk out.
- Nice job, Mr. Perfect.
The guy who hurt his leg
and took a few pills is suddenly
a Saint who knows what's best for everyone.
- I didn't meet it that way.
- Yeah?
It sure came across like that.
- Look, I was only trying to help.
- Your idea of help sucks.
- Cole, I really think.
- No, not right now.
- Hi.
- I guess I make Cole uncomfortable.
- Do you do it on purpose?
- No.
- Just comes naturally huh?
- I suppose.
- I'm sorry about what happened in there.
I have no idea.
- It's all right.
I hated what he said, I hated the way he said it.
I just hate the way it makes me feel.
- How so?
- In spite of the way he came across, he was right.
I am afraid, Mollie.
- Of what?
- Did you really get pepper-sprayed your freshman year?
- Okay I was at a frat party and I lost a bet.
- What?
What was the bet?
- I had to choose between getting pepper sprayed
or taking off all my clothes and jumping in the pool.
- Gosh.
- I should have jumped in the pool.
- Should have jumped in the pool, yeah.
- Yeah, cause getting pepper sprayed sucked.
- [Richard] Oh yeah.
- Hey, I thought I'd find a here.
You taking off?
- No, I'm not going anywhere.
I just wanted to get away from everyone.
- Including me?
Mollie was pretty harsh.
I'd like to say nice things to your Cole.
Tell you she was out of line,
but that big speech you gave in there,
you know about hanging in there
and being there for the group and not giving up.
And yet you're in your truck.
You're running away and feeling sorry for yourself.
- If that's what you came here to say.
- It's okay to not be perfect, you know?
- I never thought of myself as perfect.
- So what do you think of yourself?
- I don't know, a guy who had everything going for him
and then screwed it all up.
- You thought you'd get through
life without making any mistakes?
- No, just not the ones I've made.
- We all make mistakes Cole.
You know, we agreed to all this.
- Yeah, I know we agreed to Fielding's email.
- No, I'm not talking about Fielding.
Okay.
- All right.
- And look, about last night.
- I'm sorry about that.
I was a little.
- I'm not sure.
- You sure about that?
- Yeah.
And I know what really happened in South Africa.
We can talk about it.
- Check it out, chopsticks.
- Nice.
- Hey guys.
- Hey.
- All good?
- [Mollie] Yeah.
- I'm not ready for this.
- Hey it's fine, it okay.
- Now is the winter of out discontent.
Richard the third, act one, scene one.
- I think we're all trying to figure out
what we're doing here.
- Why we came here in the first place.
- Maybe that's not important.
Maybe we just need to keep going.
- Mollie, you met the missionaries at a Starbucks.
- [Mollie] Waiting for the rain to stop.
- And when it stopped?
- We just kept talking, before I knew it,
I had a book of Mormon in my hand
and I had missed my Shakespeare class.
- Wow.
- Had you ever heard of Mormons?
- Everybody's heard of him Spielberg
but I had no idea what they were about.
I'd heard the usual stuff like Utah, polygamy,
something about your Wonder Wear.
- My folks call them Gs.
- Garmies.
Yeah.
- So the missionaries wanted to meet again
and I didn't think the sidewalk was the best place.
There was no way we were going to my mom's.
My dorm was out of the question.
So we decided to meet where we met, Starbucks.
I guess you could say that's where I became a Mormon.
- So you're a Mollie Mormon.
- Oh gee, Richard never heard that one before.
- I really don't think she's a Mollie Mormon
- And your parents didn't like it?
- Are you kidding?
I mean, joining another religions, one thing
but I guess they would have been fine
if I was a Hindu, or Buddhist, or something.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, we are pretty weird.
- Yeah, my dad's a lawyer.
Felt like I was being cross-examined.
He started pulling all that anti LDS stuff out.
Skeletons in the closet.
- Like what?
- Oh, you name it.
Polygamy, dead people getting baptized,
blacks in the priesthood.
Some stuff about Joseph Smith, gay marriage.
One of his favorites.
Got it all.
- How did you deal with all that?
- Honestly, it was difficult.
The first I didn't believe it
but then the missionaries
told me that most of it was true.
- And that didn't scare you away?
- It did at first,
but I mean the missionaries were great, patient.
They answered all my questions and even called my dad.
- Really?
- How'd that go?
- Not great.
I mean, it was okay.
Look, there's lots of weird stuff in the past,
even stuff I don't understand now, but I'm here ain't I?
- Yeah.
- That's beautiful.
It's really great.
[all laughing]
- Okay, I had a few boyfriends.
- [Spree] A few?
- [Miguel] How many is that?
- A lady never tells.
There might've been a Red Sox in there though.
- Bet you were a little heartbreaker.
- Speaking of heartbreaker.
Riley, you dumped that fiance of yours or what?
- Awkward.
- Oh, I told you I don't like to look back.
- Sometimes we do stuff we don't like, did you?
- I did.
- [Mollie] Why?
- He had issues.
- Like?
- Okay it's one thing
if we're talking about us, ourselves,
when we start talking about someone who's not here.
- What issues?
- Addiction issues.
- [Miguel] Like Cole?
- No.
- Dude.
- [Mollie] Addicted to what?
- I'm guessing pornography.
- Was that it, was he addicted to porn?
- Sort of.
- [Mollie] Sort of addicted to porn?
- Okay, fine, he was, he was addicted to porn.
- Addicted's a strong word.
- Okay, fine.
Then let's just say he was very preoccupied.
Consumed, couldn't get enough of it.
Is that better?
- What kinds?
I mean, I mean, there's all kinds.
Like some guys think a girl in a bikini is pornographic
and then it kind of goes from there.
Like all kinds.
- I don't know Mollie.
It's not like I watched it with him.
- Did he want you to?
- Were you mad at him?
- I was furious.
Yeah, lost control.
I punched him, screamed a lot.
I said things to him I'd never said
to anyone before and then I cried
and he held me and he said he was sorry.
He said he wouldn't do it anymore, so.
- So who's hungry.
- I mean, I can always eat.
So that sounds great to me.
- Yeah, let's go.
- Opened a can of worms on that one.
- That was awkward.
- Anyone else want chips and salsa?
- Yes, me.
I would like some chips and salsa, please.
- Everyone wants a sandwich, right?
- Yeah.
- Yes.
- Can you do a double peanut butter on mine?
- And light on the jelly for me.
- Mollie.
- Yeah.
- Going from Irish Catholic to LDS.
That's quite the journey.
- Was it tough?
- What you think I didn't have to clean up some?
Change a few habits.
- You ever get lonely, miss your family?
Or your friends?
- Yeah, I miss my friends.
Some of them.
Beer at Fenway, coffee at Starbucks.
Some other things.
When I first got to Utah
I think I cried myself to sleep for about a week.
Had some serious doubts.
- About?
- Everything.
- Did your parents get remarried?
- My dad did and then he moved to California.
- Do you see him very much?
- Not really.
- Get along with your stepmother?
- Are you kidding?
She's practically my age and looks like a Barbie doll.
- What do you call her?
- Barbie.
- Do you get along okay with your mom?
- Can't say that I do.
- So you're pretty much alone.
- Yeah.
But hey, I got you guys now, right?
- That's for sure.
- Of course.
- Yeah, you do now.
- So my dad decided it was time
for me to pay my own way in life.
I couldn't afford BC tuition.
So thought I'd come to Utah.
Really dig in deep with the Mormons.
- BYU?
- Are you kidding?
I didn't want to dig in that deep.
Let's do some food.
- Yes.
- Almost forgot.
The cookies.
- Yes.
- Dessert.
[people chattering] [items clattering]
- Richard, you ever had a girlfriend?
- You mean one of my significance?
- Yeah.
- Did you connect with her?
- Not in the way you're thinking.
- Could you ever see yourself getting married?
- I don't know.
I guess the real question
is could I see someone marrying me?
- Why, you're amazing.
- Whatever.
- [Riley] Do you ever think about being with a guy?
- Sometimes.
Do you mean, have I ever been with a guy?
No, no I haven't.
- [Mollie] But do you think about it?
- I mean I think everyone wants
some kind of connection, intimacy.
Oh God, look, I like being a member of the church.
I love going to the temple.
I love the gospel.
I just don't know how to do the gospel.
All of it.
Yeah.
But I'm working on it.
- Aren't we all?
- Yeah.
I want what you guys want.
Family, someone I can count on and trust,
who I share my life with.
It's a pretty clear path for you guys, not so much for me.
- [Spree] I feel that way sometimes.
- But you don't really have
to change anything about yourself.
- We're all working on changing.
- It's different.
Like, I either have to change something about myself
and don't even know what it is
or I have to come to grips with who and what I am.
Somehow make the best of that.
- So are you starting to trust us?
- Yeah, I guess so.
- [Miguel] Why?
- I don't know.
- [Mollie] Spielberg, point that camera at somebody else.
- Oh dear.
[people chattering]
- Hey Cole.
- [Cole] Yeah?
- What happened with the drugs?
- Yeah, how'd you get hooked on them?
- The infection pain got me hooked on them
and then I took it from there.
Anyone here ever had major surgery?
- I had my tonsils out when I was five.
- Shut up Spielberg.
- It hurt.
- Yeah well, I thought sports were tough,
but nothing compared to a metal rod
and screws put in your leg.
- You still on painkillers?
- No.
- What kind of stuff did you take?
- You name it.
Percocet, Oxycontin, Ativan, Vicodin.
- Yikes.
- Yeah.
The pills took away the pain,
and when pain went away, I kept taking the pills.
- Why?
- Have you ever taken pills Spielberg?
- [Miguel] Not like those.
- Well, if you ever do
you'll know the answer to that question.
- How much were you taking?
- I got up to about a thousand milligrams a day.
Sometimes more.
- [Spree] That sounds like a lot.
- It is.
- It's a lot.
- How'd you pay for it?
- Doctors, they just kept prescribing this stuff to me.
And then, I mean, there were,
there were other times when I had to get it in other ways.
- [Richard] Did you ever get into the heavier stuff?
- No, not really.
I finally told my parents and I think they already knew
but yeah, that was the turning point.
- What'd they do, were they upset?
- No, no, they just hugged me, cried a lot.
- They were the ones who got me
into a rehab place in New Mexico.
- [Riley] Good parents.
- The best.
- [Mollie] How long were you there?
- Six months.
Yeah and then I stayed on to help around the place.
Ended up working with a few of the other guys
cleaning horse stalls, working in the kitchen.
Did a lot of stargazing.
Yeah, I did that for about a year.
- That's cool.
- That's quite a change.
Mission field to rehab.
- How long have you been sober?
- A little over two years now.
- Hey.
- Wow.
- That's major.
- Way to go man.
- Props.
- Do you still think about--
- Every day.
- [Miguel] What do you do?
- Think about something else.
- [Richard] Do you ever sing a primary song in your head?
- Yeah, I do.
My favorite is Popcorn Popping On The Apricot Tree.
- A classic.
♪ I looked out the window and what did I see ♪
♪ Popcorn popping on the apricot tree ♪
- What was the hardest part?
- Not finishing my mission.
I really loved South Africa.
The work, the people.
- The choices we make.
- Yeah, choices.
I still need Brown pieces.
- Not having much luck.
- Like the dark root.
- What shade?
There's varying shades.
[all chattering]
[all humming]
- So really Mollie, why'd you join the church?
I mean it seems so great in Boston.
You had a good life.
- Well you know I love it.
I mean, you guys all grew up in the church.
It's like this really cool amusement park,
like Disney World times 10.
But I don't think you guys see it.
I mean, I don't even think you all go
on all the rides, but me?
I was on the outside and I said, I want in.
So I got my ticket
and I started going on all the rides.
And yeah, I don't know.
Maybe I'll go on a mission
and tell everybody I meet about
this really cool amusement park.
- Go for it Mollie, you'd be great.
- Mollie, that's amazing.
- That'd be awesome.
- Will you guys support me?
- Of course.
- We'll send you a group email every Monday.
- With super cute pictures of us having fun together.
- You guys.
- All right Spielberg.
Craziest thing you've ever done.
- Oh wow.
- Yeah.
- It is your turn.
- I don't know.
- Come on, you had to have done something.
- Come on dude.
- Okay.
- Oh here it is.
- [Mollie] Just come on, dude.
- I'm so excited.
- Oh gosh, okay.
It was in high school and I.
[Miguel laughs]
- Come on, man.
- It was after a high school football game
and I mooned a car full of girls.
Yup, showed them my butt.
- That's you're craziest thing?
- Nice Spielberg.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- What do you see through that camera of yours Spielberg?
- I see some people who have a bunch
of stuff going on in their lives.
- Yeah, but what's going on in yours?
- Compared to you guys, nothing.
- [Riley] Are you envious?
- No, I.
Confused.
- About what?
- I mean, we all have the gospel right?
And yet we still make stupid choices,
and we do stupid things.
- Yeah, so what's your stupid stuff?
- Aside from the mooning.
- That's just it, I don't have anything.
I've always been a good kid,
my dads a bishop, my mom stays home with the kids,
I guess you guys just look
at the gospel differently than I do.
- How so?
- I like following the rules you know,
I wanna go on a mission and get married in the temple.
Have kids, raise them right.
- And we don't want that?
- You saying I wasn't raised right?
- No man, I just, well I have a hard time,
I mean I really like you guys but man,
some of the stuff you've been through, I--
- Your time will come man.
It always does.
- I guess.
- Maybe not, maybe the destroying angel will pass by him.
- I don't think so, no you still have college,
mission, marriage, kids, career,
plenty of time to screw it up Spielberg.
- Thanks Cole.
- Riley, how'd you find out?
About the porn.
- We were doing homework, genealogy of all things.
And as we sat there at the dinning room table
of my parents home, no less on a Sunday night,
our laptops right next to each other,
a website just popped up on the computer.
He quickly closed it, he knew I saw it
and he didn't want to talk about it.
My dad talked to us.
- Awkward.
- Well maybe it wasn't a mistake,
maybe that was his way of telling you he had a problem.
- I don't know, I was confused.
I couldn't figure out how he found that,
I don't know, appealing.
- He didn't say anything even after he knew you'd seen it?
- No, he pretty much shut down.
I did too.
I didn't know what to say.
I don't think guys understand what that does to a girl.
- Amen.
- You didn't see it coming?
- You didn't want to try and make it work?
- Yeah, we did, we did.
I mean, we talked to his Bishop,
a counselor and we kept dating for awhile.
I don't know guys.
I don't know how to put it.
I felt rejected.
You know, like he'd been cheating on me.
- I totally get that.
- And I thought, am I not enough?
You know, it really hit me hard.
Like how could he choose pictures
and videos of women he didn't even know over me?
You know, I was right there, I loved him.
I was willing to give him all of me, everything.
Things I'd never given to anyone, never would.
You know, like, why wasn't I enough?
What was I missing?
- I don't see anything missing.
- Thanks.
And I just kept wondering what
he was thinking when he kissed me,
when he held me, when he told me he loved me.
He just brushed it off.
Said a lot of guys were into it.
- I mean, not just guys, there were some girls at BC.
- He couldn't stop?
- Wouldn't.
Well, he tried, well, at least he said he did.
- And you didn't want to give him a chance?
- I gave him six months of chances.
It was sort of a crisis for me.
Doubting myself, I'd never done that before.
I thought about how I could change,
compete with the computer.
- What did you do?
- Oh gosh, it's so stupid.
I sent him some snaps.
You know, one of those things that you do
and you feel like a complete idiot afterwards.
- What kind of snaps?
- Snaps.
- So he gave you up for porn.
- Oh God, he gave up a lot more than just me.
You know, I was ready.
You know what every little girl dreams about?
Get married in the temple, have a family, kids.
Him serving in the Bishop rig,
me teaching the young women.
Featured story in LDS living, happily forever after.
I was ready.
- The course of true love, never did run smooth.
- Can always count on your Mollie.
- It's in my nature.
- You know, besides that somehow he'd changed.
You know, he didn't want to talk about it,
and that drove me crazy,
I can't be with someone who won't talk.
And I said, I'll go to mission.
You know, I need some space and he said, go ahead.
And after I got back from my mission, he moved on.
Found a girl he was crazy about and she him,
they got married in the temple about a year ago.
- [Mollie] How'd that make you feel?
- Good, good.
Yeah, he was the love of my youth, you know
but after my mission, I--
- Were you mad at him?
- No, no not at all.
I grew up a lot in Brazil
and looking back,
I didn't handle the whole situation very well.
I was only 19
and my mission, I don't know,
I saw a lot of people go through
a lot of crap in their lives.
And I saw the hand of God work a lot of miracles.
- Did he work a miracle with the love of your youth?
- I don't know.
I hope so.
- Well, I think you're beautiful inside and out for sure.
- Okay, so what happened to this gorgeous ring?
- I gave it back.
- I'd have kept it.
What?
That's like a whole semester of tuition.
- Oh shoot.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, I went to Colorado to have my baby, my son.
- Did you go to school there?
- Yeah.
- That must've been weird, being pregnant in school.
- It was.
I didn't talk to anybody.
Nobody talked to me.
I was fine with that.
I didn't make any friends, I didn't really want to.
- You were staying with your grandparents, right?
- Uh huh, my grandparents were very cool.
Very loving.
By the time I was ready to have my baby
my dad had arranged with a dentist back home to adopt him.
- But I thought your mom was raising him?
- Yeah, no, sorry.
Me and her wanted to, but my dad said no.
- I don't know if I could do that.
Just give up my baby.
- I hope you never have to make that choice.
After I had my son
I was still laying there and they were cleaning me up.
It was pretty messy.
And my baby was lying on my tummy.
He was covered in blood, my blood
and I looked at him and his eyes were closed.
He never even saw me
and then they cut the cord.
- What happened then?
- The nurse took him.
It's weird, for most mothers
that moment is the beginning of a life, of a relationship
that's supposed to last forever.
And for me, that was the end.
- So sorry.
- You know when you're 15 and having a baby,
the hospital treats you
like you are this slutty little teenager.
They have no idea how scared you are.
The lights, the pain, everybody looking at you
and poking your body.
There was one nurse who was really nice,
but you know, maybe it wasn't
the hospital that made me feel slutty.
Anyway, your body keeps reminding you that you had a baby
even though there is no baby.
Your hormones are going crazy, your boobs get huge.
Hard to imagine, I know, but they do,
they get huge and it's super painful
until even they realized that there's no baby.
- Looking back are you angry about the adoption?
- My dad's a good guy.
He is and I love him.
But I think that when I told him I was pregnant
it was really hard for him to deal with that.
Do I sometimes wonder what it would have been
like to raise him with my mom?
Yeah.
- And he's with the dentist now?
- Yeah.
- Do you ever see him?
- Not really.
Kinda, I mean the mother, the dentist's wife,
she takes him out, you know,
to the grocery store, doing the mom kid thing.
A burger joint.
Like I said, it's a small town.
- Seeing your own kid with another mom.
- Yeah.
And then there's the dad, the dentist.
He's got these billboards all over town.
With these big pictures of him
and the whole family, all five of them.
They've adopted a couple other kids.
It's like, who goes to a dentist
just because you've got kids, you know,
it makes no sense.
Anyway so, I see him, I see him,
but he doesn't see me.
He doesn't even know that I exist.
I'm not allowed to contact him.
- Does anybody back home know you had a baby?
Your friends, anybody.
- Just you guys.
- And your family?
- Just my parents.
They didn't want my brother and sisters to know.
But I'm going to tell them someday.
I have a picture of him.
It's about a year old.
I got it from the dentist website.
- [Miguel] How old is he now?
- [Spree] He's four.
- [Cole] Do you know his name?
- [Spree] Adam, heard his mom called him that once.
- Did you give him a name?
- No.
No, I didn't want to do that.
- Do you ever hope that when you're
out shopping or something that you'll ran into him?
- Yeah.
- Do you ever wish the whole thing never happened?
- It's hard knowing that there's
a part of me out there that I can't be with.
Communicate with.
- Spree, you are Adam's mother, you are.
And at some point maybe, maybe not in this life,
but at some point, I believe you will be a mother to him.
Maybe not the mother.
- He already has that in someone else.
- [Mollie] Right, but a mother.
- I hope you're right.
[gentle music]
So Richard, since you wanted an answer
to your question, me, I'm not a virgin.
[gentle music]
- Growing up, all I wanted to do was serve a mission.
One of the best days of my life was when I got my call.
- So what about the whole intimacy thing?
- I've heard people say, you know,
when this topic comes up in Sunday school
or priesthood meeting, something like that.
I've heard people say, well you know,
people with same sex attraction,
if that's what you call it,
they just have to play by the same rules as everyone else
and everything will be cool.
- Yeah, I've heard that before.
- But that's not true
because they see it in very simple black and white terms.
You just have to, you just, well,
they think that it's all about sex.
You just can't have sex.
And I mean, yeah, that's part of it,
but that's not the real issue here
when you think about it.
At least not for me,
because what they say to you guys is
right, hey, just kind of behave yourself
until you get married and then boom, no holds bar,
the rules don't apply anymore.
For me they're really saying
that I'll never have any intimacy at all.
You know, no one to go home to,
no one to, just no one.
And then there's the M word, marriage.
That word frightens me.
- I feel the same way.
- And it's something I want in some way
but it's something I'll probably never have.
And you guys, I mean, understandably, I get it.
You look forward to that.
You can see it in your near future.
- Hopefully not the near future.
- But you can see getting married
and having kids, raising a family,
you know doing everything you're supposed to.
And from where I am right now, I can't really see that.
- What do you see?
- I see people telling me, Richard,
you're fine the way you are.
And you know, you have these feelings
and you just have to control that.
And if you do that and you'll be fine, it's not a problem.
- It is a problem.
- Yeah, it is.
You guys.
I mean, you go on a date and you hold hands.
You make out a little at the end of the night,
you know, it's no big deal.
Everything's cool.
You say good night, maybe another kiss.
You had a great time.
There's some energy going through your body.
When you hold hands
or when you kiss your boyfriend or girlfriend,
the electricity fireworks, I've never had that.
- Do you want to?
- I don't know.
Sometimes I just don't feel very normal.
- Who wants to be normal?
- I do, sometimes.
But then on the other hand, I think, you know
so what's so abnormal about me?
Did I do something wrong or am I a mistake?
Is this something God gave to me on purpose
or it's just something I have to deal with?
Yeah, did my DNA get all screwed up?
I've heard that one.
You know, am I really supposed to say
for the rest of my life
I'm not going to have any real companionship
except for friends and social acquaintances and activities.
- Yeah, that sucks.
- Yeah it does.
Oh, big time.
And then at church, all these girls,
women come up to me, they tell me all about their love life.
How excited they are to get married.
And then they show up with their husbands.
And I'm just, just me sitting there by myself.
And I mean, I don't know if it would ever come to this
but let's say I was, I don't know what you call it,
but in a relationship with,
sounds so weird to say this, with a guy.
I mean, we couldn't go to church.
There's no way
- I'll go to church with you, Richard.
- Thanks Mollie.
- That doesn't really help, does it?
- But then there's family.
I'll probably never be a dad.
Never see my child born, never play catch in the backyard
or things like that or teach them about God, Christ,
and the gospel, these things that I love.
- Wow.
- I can't see clearly past this life.
Cause I get it, I do, I really get it.
That in God's mind, and his world,
and his universe, the next life is a man and a woman.
I believe that.
But how do I do that?
- What about your parents?
Have you tried--
- No, I haven't said anything to them.
- Do they have any idea?
- Probably, I just never talk about it.
I mean, they love me but.
- Do you think that would change if you?
- I don't know.
- I don't think it would.
- [Cole] Any brothers or sisters?
- Four yeah, I'm the oldest.
Their hero, knight in shining armor.
They all look up to me.
- Doubt thou the stars are fire,
doubt that the sun does move,
doubt truth to be a liar, but never doubt I love thee.
Hamlet, act two, scene two.
- Thanks guys.
But not much can be said.
It's just, it's something the church
doesn't really have an answer for right now.
I'm just stuck in the middle of this forbidden ground.
But I really appreciate you guys talking to me about it.
- You're the best.
- We love you.
- Yeah, we're here anytime.
- That's what I'm saying.
[all chattering]
- Oh ladies, there you are.
- So Spielberg.
- Yeah.
- You've seen a lot through that camera this weekend.
- Yeah, you know it's kind of weird knowing
all this stuff about you guys.
I mean I only met you yesterday.
I didn't even know you.
And then you started talking about all these things
and well, I thought you were sort of weird.
Strange.
- That's not better.
- We think you're the weird one Spielberg.
- Yeah.
- I'm beginning to think you're right.
- You're awesome.
- I know I say dumb stuff and sometimes I just don't get it
and Mollie, the Shakespeare guy is way over my head
but I love you guys.
- Hey, you're okay.
- Come here.
- So where do we go from here?
- I think it all just comes down to what we believe.
- Yeah, what do we believe?
- All right, yeah.
Yeah, let's go with that.
What are our core beliefs?
I mean, who are we really?
- Yeah or how do we know God loves us?
Or how do I know God loves me?
- He loves us.
- Right, yeah, I guess I know that
on one level, intellectually.
And that's a great for the big picture.
- But how about the little picture.
- Right.
How do I know God has a place for me, a plan?
Or does he have a plan for me?
- I think he does.
- Absolutely.
- Okay then is my plan different from your plan?
You know, is God's plan of happiness
an individual plan for each person,
or this one big happy plan that we all buy into?
One size fits all.
- Heavenly father has a plan for you Richard.
- I think it comes down to do we believe Christ?
I mean, do we really believe him?
- I believe in him.
- No, that's not what I mean.
I mean, do we believe him, that he is who he says he is?
Can do what he says he can do.
- I believe, I mean, we gotta, we have to figure out.
The atonement, right?
That's the core, that one event.
And I don't know what other words to use for it,
event or happening, but that one event,
if some how, I don't know how,
I don't think anyone does,
but if we let him, if we believe him,
he can fix all of this.
- So you're saying I need to be fixed?
- No, Richard, you don't need to be fixed.
What I mean is whatever issues
we're going through, that he can.
- Give us peace.
- He is the Prince of Peace.
- Wasn't really honest with you guys earlier.
My not finishing my mission being the hardest part.
When I got into my accident, got banged up,
and hooked on painkillers is pretty horrible,
but Spielberg, he asked me why I kept taking the pills.
- Yeah, I remember.
- I didn't really answer that very honestly.
I didn't really answer it at all, actually.
So the pills took away the pain
or at least made me forget it.
The accident happened because I looked away
and I looked away because my companion,
my companion was this kid from a little town in Idaho.
Eden, Idaho sounds perfect, doesn't it?
- Yeah.
- He was so excited to be a missionary.
Here's this kid, this 18 year old kid.
He's funny and smart, he had a cute girlfriend back home.
Great family.
And then we were, just driving down the road.
He told me a joke.
Like I said, he was, he was a funny kid.
I laugh and I look over to him, he's laughing.
And that's the last sound he ever made.
I didn't see the red light.
I've never been able to forgive myself for that.
- Accidents happen.
- I'm well aware of that Mollie.
- It really wasn't your fault Cole.
- Actually, it was.
When I was in the hospital in Salt Lake
I couldn't go to his funeral.
Two days after the funeral his parents,
brother and sister Green came to visit me.
- And what'd they say?
- They forgave me.
They sat on my hospital bed and totally forgave me.
They said it was an accident
and we know that Terry is in a good place.
And that he's okay and that he would want you to be okay.
He loved you very much.
- How long ago was that?
- Four years.
Anyway, that's what I didn't tell you guys before.
- Cole, I'm so sorry for what I said.
- It's okay Mollie, it's okay.
I guess if I really believe,
I should let Christ take care of that.
- Look for Christ
and you will find him and with him, everything else.
- [Both] C.S. Lewis.
[gentle music]
[zippers whirring]
[all chattering]
- Is that my phone?
- Hey guys, I have the best idea ever.
Okay, next weekend.
- Look at those notifications.
- Next weekend we get back together
and we go on a ski retreat.
- Guys, guys, guys hey um.
Look, I need to tell you something.
Does it seem kind of strange to you guys
that we are shooting this video?
- I mean yeah, it's always been weird.
- I don't know.
- Yeah, I guess it does in a way.
- Why are we making this video?
- You guys think it's about Fielding?
About his book, right?
- It is.
- Yes.
- Yeah.
- It's not.
- What?
- What do you mean?
- I want to get in the film program at USC.
- What, what does that have to do with anything?
- Well, see.
- Where are you going with this?
- Let me explain, look.
USC, they need a sample of my work,
you know, like reel and, well, I don't have one.
So--
- So?
- I thought I'd maybe do one about you guys.
And I had no idea it would turn out like this.
I mean, I didn't have a clue.
- As usual.
- I mean, I thought that you got to talk about like,
I don't know, different kinds of stuff,
not the kinds of stuff that you guys talked about.
- So wait, you and Oscar Fielding what?
You set this up?
- Yeah, sort of.
Actually, no, okay, no, not exactly.
- Who sent the email?
- Yeah.
- I did.
- What?
Are you serious?
- No way.
- No.
- Yeah, I sent the email, I set this whole thing up.
- So do you even know Oscar Fielding?
- Oh yeah, I definitely know him.
He's my uncle.
- And he agreed to all this?
- No, no, he didn't.
He doesn't know about any of this.
- This whole thing was your idea.
- How many emails did you send?
- About 5,000.
- Where'd you get them?
- You don't wanna know.
- We don't wanna know?
- Okay.
- And you picked us?
- Yeah.
- Why?
Wow.
- I can't believe we fell for this.
- So the camera's yours?
- How'd you get this cabin?
- It's my uncle Oscars,
but I know the combination to the door.
- Does he even know we're here?
- No way, that's crazy.
- Guys, look around.
We've all done crazy, stupid things in life.
- But him who's without sin.
- Cast the first stone.
- Any stone throwers?
[all chuckling]
- Hey, look at it this way,
it has been pretty amazing.
- Yeah, and if it weren't for Spielberg
we never would have met each other.
- Thanks guys.
- Well, hold on, like you're,
you're going to take this video
you've been making about us,
about me and use it to get into USC?
- Oh come on, I thought if you knew
what was going on you wouldn't do it.
You wouldn't help me.
- Whoa, you didn't trust us?
- Not at first.
Look, would it be cool if I edited it
and like showed it to you guys
and I can take out whatever you don't like.
Hey, I'm good with whatever.
- All of those who can sustain brother Spielberg's proposal,
do so with the uplifted hand.
- You guys are the best.
- Can we wait till I tell my parents?
Fine man, this is ridiculous.
- You're nuts.
- I can't believe you thought of that idea.
- Classic, classic, Spielberg.
- You're an evil genius.
- I cannot believe we were fooled by a child.
- That's what I'm saying.
- I'm gonna hold you because.
- Oh yeah, watch out.
- I'm super klutzy.
- The snow is so tall.
- Yeah, I was just gonna say.
It's over you're head.
I can't believe that you live right by me.
- Oh I know, all this time.
- Yeah, it's like we're meant to be friends.
[all chattering]
- Well, Mollie, you have one final quote for us?
- God's goodness hath been great to us,
let never day nor night on hallowed paths
but still remember what the Lord hath done.
- Proverbs?
- Henry the sixth, part two, act two, scene one.
- Well guys, I guess that's a wrap.
- Hey, before we split, we should get a group picture.
- Yes.
- Oh yeah.
- Please.
- Okay I got it.
- Selfie.
- All together.
- Get in there.
- Okay, everyone in?
- You got to get me in I'm not in it.
- Here we go.
Okay, ready and one, two, three.
[phone clicks]
Funny face.
- All right.
[phone clicks]
[all laughing]
- That is great.
- Hey, I'll email to you guys.
- You are not allowed to email me ever again.
- I'll see you, we're fine.
- Yes.
- Come here nugget.
You're nuts, I can't believe you.
Come here you beautiful boy.
Be good.
- See ya Riley.
- Bye, see ya.
- Keep in touch?
- Yeah.
- [Mollie] Hey you guys drive safe.
- [Miguel] Yeah, you to.
- Take care of yourself man.
- Yeah, you to.
[light hearted music]
- See you Spielberg.
- [Miguel] Peace out guys.
[light hearted music] [engine rumbles]
- So, is you're friend picking you up?
- Yeah, yeah he is.
[upbeat music]
But I told him not to come.
- Whoa, so you're walking home?
[Riley chuckles]
[upbeat music]
[engine rumbles] [upbeat music]
♪ There ain't nothing like sunshine and air ♪
♪ To make you feel like you don't have a care ♪
♪ There ain't no one else around but you ♪
♪ So here's exactly what you're gonna do ♪
♪ Take your hands and dig ♪
♪ Deep into your soul ♪
♪ Let yourself lose control ♪
♪ Turn it up, soak it up ♪
♪ Can you feel it all over ♪
♪ No, you'll never know when you'll get the chance ♪
♪ So put on your favorite song and dance ♪
[upbeat music]
♪ It's a good day to have a good day ♪
♪ So tighten up your laces and be on your way ♪
♪ It's a good time to have a good time ♪
♪ So feel the beat down in your bones and smile ♪
♪ Oh take your hands and dig ♪
♪ Deep into your soul ♪
♪ Let yourself lose control, turn it up ♪
[dramatic music]
♪ Too many days in the darkness ♪
♪ With out a glimpse of the light ♪
♪ Running tired, and broken, and scared ♪
♪ But I swear I'll never give up the fight ♪
♪ I see you broken and beaten ♪
♪ Hackles down over your eyes ♪
♪ Every part of you wants to surrender ♪
♪ Darling you were meant to survive ♪
♪ With every scar, we are born again ♪
♪ Open your heart ♪
♪ Spend less time in your head ♪
♪ With every scar, we are born again ♪
♪ Open your heart ♪
♪ Spend less time in your head ♪
♪ Just like a seed in a garden ♪
♪ You will grow to be tall ♪
♪ Staring out over miles of land ♪
♪ Without ever wanting build up walls ♪
♪ Lift me up in your branches ♪
♪ We can watch the sun rise ♪
♪ Just a couple of bruised up fools ♪
♪ That believe that it was worth one more try ♪
♪ With every scar, we are born again ♪
♪ Open your heart and spend less time in your head ♪
♪ With every scar, we are born again ♪
♪ Open your heart ♪
♪ Spend less time in your head ♪
[upbeat music]