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(upbeat jazz music)
- This door doesn't work, we just go through here.
- Okay.
- Come on. - Thank you.
- Oh my. - Yep.
- Oh, goodness. - Got it?
- Oh goodness, it's ridiculous.
Well, that has to get fixed.
- Oh, I don't know, makes for kind of a nice view.
- I can't believe you live with it like that.
Why don't he fix it?
- It helps to keep out the riffraff.
- Riffraff?
- You know, those people who come to dinner,
one of them's allergic to gluten, the other to garlic,
one's a vegetarian, one's a vegan.
- I know what she means, like the kind of person
who insists on buying a single story house
and then spends all her time on the StairMaster.
- What's that? - Mice.
- In the rooms. - This part's just the attic,
the rooms are over there.
- Mice. - Yeah,
we've had a problem and David's gonna take care of it,
he'll be over in a bit.
- Who's David?
- He helped George with the cooking and the cleaning and-
- And pest control. - Well, sort of.
- Well, maybe we should get a professional.
- I know a guy, I'll give him a call.
Well, it's no coincidence that music and boos
are set down on bars, that was George.
- So, this is it. - You've never been?
- I guess we just let the years slip away.
- Well, let's be honest, she's riff, I'm raff.
- It wasn't like that, we talked on the phone a lot
and emails.
I just always assumed it would be-
- More. - I don't know.
- Well, George wasn't into anything too frivolous, you know,
he thought this was too much.
- And that room, there's like nothing in it.
- We used that for dancing.
- To George. - To George.
- [Gramps] A life fully lived.
- You know, he always spoke very fondly of you,
he was proud of you.
- Ah, by the time my ship came in, I was listing heavily
to the port.
- I wished you could have brought Jax.
- Oh, I know but his ear infection was so bad,
the doctor recommended against it.
I mean, the flight would have been excruciating.
Although, I do feel guilty about leaving him with the nanny.
- I feel guilty just having a nanny.
- Every Californian feels guilty about having a nanny.
Every New Yorker feels guilty when they don't.
- Well that gives us time to sort things out.
- So, what do you think of Brooklyn?
- Seems like all the guys wear fancy hairdos
and all the girls have tattoos.
- Tattoos are like human bumper stickers.
- Yeah, it is a bit hipster out here.
- Well, I'm a total hipster, had both replaced.
(Yvonne laughs)
- Please. - How was the drive?
- I think I might have pulled a muscle in my middle finger.
Did you know that Subaru is Japanese for super rude?
- I told you, you should let me drive.
- No, that's not gonna happen,
you're a registered traffic offender.
- Please. - And that Prius,
I think their engineered to go slow in the fast lane.
All those old Volkswagen van drivers.
- Enough. - Oh, what?
- Oh, it must be genetic. - It is.
- Oh, wow, wow, a ballroom.
Hey, hey we made it, Mom. - Hi, James.
- Oh. - Oh, buddy.
- Hey Dad, oh Dad.
Oh, Steven. - Hey buddy.
- Hey, hey, hey, sis.
- Oh still looks good.
- Hey, you got, oh my god, working out huh?
- Oh, yeah, a bit.
- Well, lifting? - Lifting, yeah,
and holding down doubt.
- Oh, this is David, David, come in here.
Come in here, we met on the stoop, he's great.
He did all of George's cooking and cleaning.
- And pest control.
- Cleans for like everyone famous around here.
Giving me a new idea, housekeepers of the rich and famous.
- Oh, that'd be great, James,
we'd watch that, right Gramps?
- A bit intellectual comparatively.
- Oh.
- Who needs a refresher? - Yes, please.
- James, why don't we change that to domestic engineers
of the rich and famous.
- Yeah, yeah, I like that one.
Oh, I love this place, so simplistic
and the front door not working, I mean,
oh and the ballroom, oh classic George, very hipster.
- Hey, I heard your new show got picked up?
- Yes, very exciting.
- What is it?
- Cooking with clairvoyance, I call it "Medium Rare."
- Well done, James. - No, medium rare.
- Please.
- Well, at least half the cast is dead,
so you don't have to worry about.
- [Man] Quickest way to get a show canceled.
- [Woman] Yeah, yeah, that show is gonna be a huge hit,
I know it all ready. - Different.
- [Woman] Fresh.
- Did you hear that? - What?
- In the attic, it sounds like footsteps.
- I don't hear anything.
- Maybe just in your attic.
- Maybe it's somebody from the afterlife
who wants to audition for cooking with clairvoyance.
- You mean "Medium Rare."
- That's more than mice.
- Oh, no, it's definitely the mice.
- Are they chewing on the electrical cords?
- Might needs some more bait, I'll go check.
- Want some help?
- Another toast to George.
- To George. - To a great man,
a great musician and a great lover.
- Could have done without that last bit.
- To George. - To George.
To George. - To George.
- Oh my god, another presidential alert,
Lama spotted in Brooklyn, eyes everywhere catch the SOB.
- Jesus, I hope he makes it.
I can't believe that guy gave up everything.
- Well, everything except his good looks.
Oh, it's crazy times, new underground railroad,
Canada, the new north.
The guy's who's doing the most to reunite families
put in prison on trumped up charges.
- Yeah, they're charging him with terrorism.
They say that his escape is terrorizing the whole country.
- He didn't escape, they accidentally let him out.
- Maybe, I mean, half the guards are Hispanic,
so there's a big investigation.
- A well connected journalist could shed some light.
- It just feels like you're making a deal with the devil.
- Don't. - I mean, honestly,
I just can't see helping that guy in any way.
- Yeah, it's just for a little bit
then I'll write my own ticket.
And just 'cause I'm working for him
doesn't mean I'm in his camp.
- So, you're just gonna be a subversive.
- No, I'm just doing a job,
I'm just gonna get my foot in the door.
- With Sean O'Reilly, I mean that guy
is turning politics into a religion.
He actually said, and I quote, he said,
"Don't listen to what the president says,
just believe in him."
- Yeah, so then something needs to be done.
- What about Jax?
- He'll be fine, a lot of kids are raised
with the help of a nanny.
- It doesn't feel right.
- Well, so quit your job.
Jax would love that, Jax loves nothing more
than spending time with his daddy, except maybe trains.
- Hey, nobody can compete with that Thomas.
What about us?
- Okay, so we just take care of ourselves, nobody tries,
we just give up?
- It's just, it's gonna absorb you
and then I'm never gonna see you.
- Well, I'll do my best with that.
- And when we are together, you won't be there, I know you.
- Well, I'll work on that.
- Anybody but him.
- This may be my only break.
I know it's a bitter pill, maybe I can influence him.
- The puppet master, right, your plan now
is you're gonna influence the puppet master?
- Yes, the puppet master.
- That's like trying to influence Satan.
- Well, you know how you influence Satan?
You don't believe in him and then he loses all his power.
(slow instrumental music)
- You okay?
- Oh, I couldn't sleep.
Before long, people won't have these anymore.
- Ah, and then what will we do?
- Pass around our phones, look at each other's tattoos.
- Well, that could be fun.
(woman laughs)
We should have come here sooner.
- He could have come out.
- Well. - In fact,
you know he did come out.
- Really, when?
- He came out for an Oscar party.
A friend of his won for best score.
Oh gosh, what was the,
what was the one where they're dancing all around,
you know, on a freeway and stuff.
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, with that guy that we like.
- Yeah, yeah. - And that girl, that girl.
- Yeah, she's really cute.
- Yeah, well they're both so talented, both.
His name, R, I don't, can't know.
- Nexus, what was the name of the movie
that won for best picture but didn't.
- [Nexus] Oh, yes, that has that dreamy actor
and that beautiful girl.
- Nexus, are you okay?
- [Nexus] So many people on so many devices
asking so many questions.
Let me ask Erie. - You can do that?
- [Nexus] Erie, what was the name of the movie
that won for best picture but didn't.
- [Erie] The name of the movie that won for best picture
but didn't was the one with Ryan Gosling
or was it the one with Ryan Reynolds.
Ever since they updated my operating system,
I can't remember shit.
- Hey, hey, hey, Erie, come on a bit of a potty mouth there.
- [Erie] Me, potty mouth, you know what I say, old man,
here's a potty mouth for you. - Geesh, come on.
- [Erie] Just go fuck your-
(George laughs)
- How weird was that? - Maybe this place is haunted.
- It's got me spooked.
(Nan sighs)
(Nan chuckles) - Ah.
- Oh that was the one where he almost got arrested
for starting a fire in the bathroom at the bank.
- They thought it was a botched robbery.
- Oh, he was trying to get her out of his mind,
burned her photo and a locket of her hair.
- Jeanie, Jean, Jane, Joan. - Jeanine, Jeanine.
- Jeanine. - Yeah, that's Jeanine.
- He was arrested when she committed the crime.
Stole his heart.
- (Nan laughs) Got a good song out of it.
♪ Don't know why you can't see ♪
♪ I'm the man who adores you ♪
♪ Don't know why you can't be with ♪
♪ The one that adores you ♪
- Wish you were coming with me tomorrow.
- Oh, you. - I don't trust Yvonne.
I don't know this attorney.
- I trust George, the man knew what he was doing?
- Well, what if she tries something?
What if the attorney is in on it?
- Nan's the problem. - I know and George
said he had something up his sleeve,
said it would keep her tied up.
- What?
- He didn't say, he was just laughing,
you know the way George would.
- You got this.
- We can't quit, we've gotta see this through.
Anyway, Allison and Steven are distracted
and Gramps is pretty clueless but James, he's been nosy.
- I got him, you know he's kind of cute.
- I guess.
- For a producer, I mean.
Are you sure it's worth it?
- Positive.
- I feel guilty.
- I know. - Oh sweetie.
- [Steven] God, that's so terrible, I'm sorry.
Show get canceled? - Oh no, it's still
getting picked up but he's no longer attached.
- You kill one bald eagle.
- It was a baby bald eagle, you fed it peanuts on live TV.
- I'd been up there for days, well hours,
nothing was happening, it was boring.
I thought everybody loves watching baby birds eat.
All I had was a bag of peanuts, who knew they had allergies.
- You couldn't edit that part out?
- I was going for ratings, got almost a million views.
And my arrest got another 100,000.
Oh, I gotta go, helping David do some cleaning,
got get in there, get your hands dirty,
if you want a good show.
- Yeah, I know you just wanna find some dirt.
- Obviously.
- Yvonne has a pest control guy coming by,
make sure you let him in.
That noise in the attic kept me up all night.
A contractor will be by to fix the door
and check on the electrical.
Hopefully, he'll be finished before we get back.
Maybe you two should go take a look.
- Ah, no, no, that's how horror movies start.
- Maybe it really is Uncle George's ghost.
Maybe he doesn't know he's dead yet.
- If it's George's ghost, he probably lost
some piece of music.
He's always writing on little scraps of paper.
If you hear something playing, record it.
- If music starts playing, I'm back in California.
- Don't argue with the pest man, just pay him,
same with the contractor.
(man knocks)
- Yep, coming, ah, door doesn't work,
you gotta come in through here.
- Well, that was interesting.
- Yeah, we're hipsters.
- I hate hipsters.
- No, we're not hipsters, we're from California.
- That explains a lot, the place is burning up out.
It's people like you, you know, you teach tolerance,
you let your kids read "Mary Poppins and "Harry Potter."
- What, huh?
- The place is going, it's a gateway to sorcery.
- (laughs) Listen, I'm gonna have to ask-
- Shh, wait.
- The housekeeper said that he put bait
and traps up there but.
- No, I bet they followed you out here from California,
I gotta check that out.
I'm gonna need the credit card.
- All right, all right.
- Well, how much is gonna be?
- Depends how many demons you got up there.
I'll go check.
- [Man] I don't know about that DiCaprio.
- Oh, he's all right, he helps out a lot of wayward models,
he even turned his yacht into a shelter.
- Exactly.
- Who knew De Niro would be so into beanie babies.
And that one guy, the one who exposed so much greed
and corruption, who knew he would be so greedy and corrupt.
- It takes one to know one. - I guess.
- You can't tell anyone. - Quiet as a mouse.
- Speaking of which.
- Now what's wrong with you? - Your daughter.
- Well, I hope you read the fine print,
there's a strict non-return policy.
- She's taking a job.
- Oh, that's horrible news.
I hate when that happens, when they go to work
and make money and then-
- She's taking a job with Sean O'Reilly.
- Oh, here, I haven't touched it.
- What time is it?
- With that news, it's late enough.
Why on earth?
- I don't know.
She says that she thinks
that she's going to make a difference.
- Ha, my daughter, that naive, it doesn't make sense.
- Gramps, will you please talk to her.
- (laughs) Yeah, that'll work and meanwhile, I'll ask Nan
to cancel a couple of hair appointments.
When it comes to convincing women to do things,
it's every man for himself.
- I don't know what to do.
- Well, think of it as a yin yang thing,
I mean, you're running that big nonprofit
with all those do-gooders and she's working
for the evil puppet master.
It balances out.
- Except I'm not working for the nonprofit anymore.
- Oh, you'd get a new job?
- I was just babysitting idiots who got a job
out of nonprofit because they thought it meant
that they didn't have to work.
- But you got a new job, right?
- Everybody who worked there was incompetent
and I just couldn't take it anymore.
- That's why age diminishes your eyesight,
it's easier to overlook blemishes.
- I had a lot of really good contacts, yeah,
just didn't pan out.
- So, does Allison know?
- No, not yet.
- (Gramps laughs) Buddy, be careful with that one.
Hiding things from your wife,
it's like playing Russian Roulette the Viet Cong,
even if you don't blow your brains out,
you still get all that stress and terror.
- Yeah.
You know, it's not like your dreams die,
you just sort of slowly wake up.
- Yeah, that's a good one.
- How did you decide, I mean, what you wanted to do?
- Well, like most young men, I confused wealth with worth.
I thought about joining Doctors Without Borders
but then I discovered nurses without boundaries
and I gotta tell you, they do a great service for the world.
And that's where I met Nan.
- Wait, I thought that she worked
for Mother Theresa's organization.
- Yeah, yeah, everybody's got their own narrative.
- What, you just let her decide everything?
- Steven, every relationship comes to a crossroads.
You have to decide control or happiness
and you can't have both.
And the only way it works
is if it's the other person's happiness is more important
and you both have to want that.
- Well, I'm not even interested in happiness,
I just don't wanna be miserable.
- Oh, that's Jefferson's fault,
how come he couldn't say life, liberty
and the pursuit of the arts.
Happiness, it's overrated, it's fleeting.
Money, trips, cars, sex, momentary gratifications
that can't hold up under the heavy weight of all day long
and again tomorrow.
There is one thing though, tendrils.
- What?
- Ethereal tendrils, delicate, fine, unseen connections
that you can't get any other way than a lifelong love.
Maybe Jefferson was right, maybe that's what he meant.
But be careful, man, those tendrils can choke you out.
- I don't care, let it all go to the cats,
there's no way on God's green Earth
that I am going to promote such filth.
- It's your brother's last wish, it's his dying wish.
- Well, you don't always get what you want,
especially when you're dead.
- Whoa, whoa, what happened?
- I don't wanna talk about it.
Did the pest man come? - Yes.
- And. - I said David's
got it under control.
- He didn't charge you for that did he?
- 500. - You didn't pay him did you?
- You said that, I gave him George's card.
- Good luck collected from the cats.
And the contractor.
- He's got it all figured out.
What happened?
- It's all very simple, we went to the lawyers and,
can I get one of those?
- Haven't touched it.
- Okay, it's split among us all evenly
as long as we erect a-
- If we don't it all goes to the cats.
- Cats, does he even have any cats?
- They're staying with me, miss Mittens and Mouseto.
- We have to erect. - Yes, erect.
- Erect a- - We have to erect something?
- What?
- George already got it through planning.
- Oh, planning is the easy part of an erection.
- Then we just have to complete it.
- That's the hard part.
- It has to say please- - Yes, please.
- Pretty much all erections say please.
- What has to say please?
- A plaque. - A plaque.
- In the park. - A plaque in the park
saying pleasing, a pleasing plaque in the park.
- No, not pleasing. - Please teach teens-
- Oh god please.
- Please teach teens to?
- Please teach teens it's okay to love themselves
both emotionally and physically.
- Oh, well, erect is the correct word.
- That sounds okay.
- What George is trying to say
is that we should teach the kids to fly solo,
release the Kraken, choke the chicken, wax the carrot,
rub your worm. - Okay, Gramps,
that's enough. - Drain the swamp,
manipulate your base, menage a me, DIY 101,
jingle the handle, the safest of all sex.
- Gramps! - Okay, yeah, I know.
Palmella Handerson. (laughs)
- Let us agree to encourage young people
to explore sexual self gratification.
Let's eliminate connotations of shame associated with it.
- The M word.
- In my opinion, this will help to
alleviate sexual repression,
minimize aggression, lead to better health
and may result in fewer unwanted pregnancies.
Hopefully it will also lead to better self control
by the males in our society, George Watson.
- Well, you gotta admit males of our society
have not always been in the best behavior,
maybe this will help.
Here's to George, he went out with style,
gotta hand it to him. - Actually, I think
he wanted us to hand it to ourselves.
(dramatic music)
- [Man] Have you heard the latest from coastal elites,
(crowd chanting)
they are demanding that our children
defile their bodies and souls.
The time for action is now.
(woman knocks)
- [Crowd] Hands off it's a sin hands off it's a sin!
- A Porsche just pulled up.
- Oh, that'll be the puppet master.
He must have heard Californians are in town.
You know I bet the only word that rhymes with Porsche
is douche.
(Yvonne laughs)
- Well, I think it's just fantastic,
sure he's a little cooky, but then who isn't.
And Steven will just have to-
- Look, I am all for free speech but that guy
should be shot.
- I will get this.
Mr. O'Reilly, you really did not have to come.
- Oh, how could I know, rather fortuitous, huh?
- Yes, rather.
This is my father, Tim.
- Nice to meet you.
- And my mother, Meg.
- Nice to meet you.
- Oh my, what?
- Oh, I'm sorry concealed weapon, permitted, of course,
side note, you'd be surprised how many people
think I need to be shot.
(Allison laughs)
- This is my brother, James, one of your biggest fans.
- Nice to meet you.
No autographs. - Shame.
- Sean, but please call me Mr. O'Reilly.
- Oh really? - O'Reilly.
- You know I produce reality shows, maybe we could?
- Yeah, I don't really consider that television.
- Not into reality? - Not at all.
- Ah, this is Yvonne Marks. - Yvonne Marks, mistress
to the great George Watson.
- Fiance. - I'm so sorry
for your loss, if there's anything I can do.
- I'm good, thanks.
- All of you, I'm so sorry for your loss.
- That's very kind of you.
- I needed to come down and meet the family
of my new assistant.
I mean, the fact that you guys just happen
to be at the center of the greatest controversy in America,
well, it has it all free speech, tawdry sex, small town.
- It's Brooklyn. - Yeah, close enough.
- Well, Mr. O'Reilly has just been named head
of the White Caucus.
- Well, well you can't have a caucus without a head.
- Congratulations.
I've always wondered, is it true that the Black Caucus
is larger than the White Caucus
or is it that just a fallacy.
- It's the size of the ideas that matter.
- I've always ordered that it's more mental than physical
but Nan here- - Thank you, Dad,
I will show you to your room.
- Very nice to meet you all.
- Yes, okay.
- Oh, and I put you in the room where George wrote
"My Blood Runs Red White and Blue."
- Side note, that's my favorite song.
- Why thank you. - Well, great, let's.
- Great song. - Yeah.
- I love that song, genius.
- How is that a side note?
- Hey, I'm getting hungry, Allison?
- When were you planning on telling me?
- Telling you what?
- Your severance pay came.
- Oh, shit.
Freaking Viet Cong. - What?
- Nothing.
- So, you quit your job.
- Well, you told me to quit.
- That was when I thought you had a job.
- Oh, I see, so it's okay for me to quit
when you tell me to quit, it's just not okay
for me to do it on my own.
- It's not okay for you to quit and not tell me.
This is a partnership.
I can't make decisions in the dark,
what if I had listened to you,
what if I would have turned down the job with Sean,
where would we be, raising a kid with no jobs,
no medical. - I'm sorry, okay,
I just, listen, I couldn't do it anymore.
- So, you're telling me what to do
and you're not telling me what you're doing.
That's not a relationship.
- I am sorry, I am.
- I can't believe this is the person I married.
How can you be out there preaching about honesty
and equality when you can't even practice it at home?
- I said that I am sorry, what else do you want me to say?
- Why didn't you tell me, that's what I don't get,
why wouldn't you tell me?
- Okay, look, I didn't tell you
because I was afraid that if I told you,
you would take that job with Sean for sure.
- Yeah, I'm gonna take the job with Sean
whether or not you have a job
and whether or not you say it's okay.
That's what you don't understand,
you don't get to make all the decisions about our lives.
- Oh, no I don't get to make any decisions
in our fucking lives.
- I worked as a checker for two years
so that you could go to college.
We waited for your career to get started
before I began the beat.
I had been working my ass off to get to this point.
And it's a shitty time for reporters
and you're gonna quit your job
and then you're gonna ask me to turn down everything
that I ever wanted?
What is going on in your head?
(Steven laughs)
You know George came to the grocery store once
when I was checking.
He waited in line, he didn't buy anything,
he just looked at me and he said, "Don't lose yourself."
And I never told you because I was afraid that I was.
But he knew, I mean, he just got right in there
and he knew.
And I swore that I would never again lose myself.
- Allison. - Yes.
- Hey, look, I just, I wanted to, I just,
thanks for coming onboard.
- Well, it's a big opportunity for me so.
- Yeah, it is, so it's important
that we're on the same page.
- Absolutely. - A team.
- Yeah.
- See, it's important that what happens in the locker room
stays in the locker room.
- As long as we're not actually in the locker room.
- Well, no of course, but winning is what life
is all about.
Television, politics, see it's all about
manipulating the simple minds to our side.
- Right.
- And it's not a bad thing 'cause we're right.
- Okay.
- So, if the president can keep that plaque
from going up, that's a win.
- Gotcha.
- And since your family's in control of that.
- Oh, I see, so we're not just reporting on the news,
we're manipulating it.
- Giving it a hand, you know, massaging it.
- Those are the words you actually just chose to use.
The problem, Mr. O'Reilly is that my family
is not very easy to sway.
- Well, Allison, that's not good.
- 'Cause they're not simple-minded.
Excuse me, fucking man.
- [Crowd] Stop the plaque, stop the plaque, stop the plaque!
Stop the plaque, stop the plaque, stop the plaque,
stop the plaque!
- Did you get your job back, sweetie?
- No, no, no, no, but I'm glad for it.
- Well, hey, come work for me,
"Made Maids" was just picked up.
- Fantastic James, "Made Maids," I love it.
- David is the executive producer and my name's not on it,
one baby bird.
- I'm not gonna do that.
But I do feel like I am supposed to do something.
- You'll find it, your true passion doesn't give up on you.
- That's beautiful, James. - That was George,
I can't tell you how many times I wanted to quit,
how many times I did quit.
- Maybe I don't have a true passion.
- Of course you did, changing things for the better.
- Maybe we're all failures, as a species, I mean.
- Okay, this is gonna require a double.
- Fashionable fascism, exalted dictators,
murdering tyrants, a president with Tourettes,
multiple bombings, shootings, wars.
- The worst the world, the less worrisome the apocalypse.
- Did you know that there are over 20 armed conflicts
in the world right now.
America is in nine of them.
We are at war and nobody is marching for peace.
Now they're marching for masturbation.
- Well, you've gotta stand for something.
- I've taken a rigid stance on it.
- Uh-huh, this whole plaque business,
it epitomizes the unbridgeable division
in the United States right now
which is red versus blue, right?
I mean, the things that they are saying, my god.
God hates tolerance.
Who'd even think such a thing?
- Actually there's this pest control guy.
- What they should be marching about
is fucking homelessness, poverty, racism,
the ever shrinking middle class, right,
the wealth imbalance, okay.
This is what they should be fucking marching about
and immigrations, oh my god,
don't even fucking get me started.
- Too late for that.
- Protectionism over morality, there I said, okay,
and pollution, there are islands of plastic
floating in the sea, huge islands, right,
dwindling resources, right, mindless waste.
Microplastics invading our bodies,
poisoning each and every single fucking one of us.
- But at least there's binge watching,
I like the binge watching.
- Drones are cool.
- You know, the truth, I thought was supposed
to set us free, all it does is piss me off.
- I don't know drones always kinda remind me
of the flying monkeys.
- Yeah, but remember they weren't evil.
- That's right, when the wicked witch died,
they were happy.
- Yeah, exactly drones are the new flying monkeys.
- Shut up about the drones, climate change.
- The good thing about climate change
is we won't have to retire to Arizona,
Arizona's coming to us.
- Gramps that's not funny.
The Earth is literally going to increase by two degrees
in the next 30 years.
I wonder if you have any idea what that's
gonna do to the planet, maybe you don't give a shit
because you're not gonna be alive anymore, is that it?
- You know what the ultimate six degrees of separation is?
Between us and the planet.
- (chuckles) That's good.
- That's hysterical, are you fucking listening to me, huh?
These are the things that people should be marching about
but no, nobody gives a fuck about anything
except their right to fucking screw themselves.
- Did he just use the M word?
I think he used the M word.
- He had these stashed in the back of his closet.
- Hmm, I always liked George.
- [Crowd] Hands off, it's a sin, hands off, it's a sin,
hands off, it's a sin, hands off, it's a sin!
- I miss climbing through. - Me too.
- The crowd is getting larger.
- Yeah, thank the puppet master for that.
He put our address out on his show.
Oh and drone delivery.
- "La La Land," I didn't order this.
- Maybe George did.
- He would never do that.
- And this came.
- Okay. - Planning commission,
threatening to revoke our permit.
Apparently they didn't understand the English language.
- Well, I'll respond with legal language.
- Or we can nix the plaque and it all goes away.
- Is that true, the plaque's being nixed?
- No, look what George is trying to say
that as long as we keep repressing our sexuality,
then men will continue to be pigs
and women will continue to be disrespected
and objectified but if we accept the fact
that we are indeed sexual creatures
and that our desires are at times
just difficult to control,
then we can start down the right path.
- Sounds like a path of further decay.
You might as well legalize prostitution.
- Would that be so terrible?
- Well, the states are taking over the numbers racket,
you got Native Americans have gambling now,
pot's legal, you legalize prostitution, maybe hard drugs,
boom organized crime is history.
Poor bastards.
- What is wrong with self control?
- Self control, I understand self control, you ass.
- Don't throw your fake oppression at me.
There's no desire for hard work anymore,
there's no backbone in this nation anymore.
From the melting pot to the chamber pot.
Nobody wants to take responsibility.
Do anything you want, have the government pay for it.
Let obscenity rule.
You know this whole world is going to hell
in a hand basket.
And I talk and I talk and nothing but deaf ears,
Sodom and Gomorrah.
- All right, where's this Mrs. Mittens?
Mrs. Mittens, she reversed my credit card charge.
- George's cat.
- I wouldn't worry about it man,
there's about six cameras on your van out there,
that's gotta be better than Google ads and Yelp combined.
- Yeah, maybe I should go out there and act
like I'm doing something, huh?
- Yeah, put on a show.
- God hates tolerance, I gotta admit, that's a good one.
- I'm not sure hates.
- Where do you think wrath comes from, moron?
- I'm just not comfortable with the wording.
Teach them to you know, who, who is going to teach them?
- Priests, scout leaders.
- When, what age and how?
- All of that will be tough to figure out
but it's better than letting them
just fumble in the darkness.
- [Sean] Fuck!
- The president just tweeted out,
the plaque is the plague and touching yourself
is the original sin and he's just signed an executive order
to make it illegal.
- The M word, or the act? - The act.
- Ooh, you think jails are crowded now.
- It's probably just his Tourettes, he's having an episode.
- No, no, no.
Oh, I need a drink. - It's not a crutch,
it's a foundation.
- Is something wrong?
- There could be some news that might agitate the crowd
just a little bit.
- Are we in danger?
- You know what, I'd love to see someone
try to walk through that door right now,
I'd shoot them myself.
- Hey take it easy big guy.
- You know what, I'm gonna take my foundation
and I'm gonna go upstairs,
'cause I have work to do and I can't be
walking up and down these fucking stairs!
- Okay, fine, no worries.
- It seems like we're causing an awful lot of trouble.
- George is anyway, maybe that's what he wanted.
- No, it's not what George wanted,
he just wants us to grow up.
- I'm going back to California.
- To get Jax and plan the move?
- I think I'm gonna stay.
- It seems a bit dramatic.
- I can't live here, all the materialism
and the frantic pace.
- Yeah, that's them not us.
- It feels infectious. - What is really going on?
- I have to do something, I feel a boiling up inside
but I don't know what it is.
- And you think you're gonna figure that out in California
but not here?
- It's too chaotic here.
- You need to calm the noise in your own attic
and then the outside world won't matter.
- You can't sleep?
- Hmm, I thought I heard something.
- Did you leave a note?
- It's not like that.
- Let me ask you something,
how did it get like this?
I mean, didn't we both set out to do good?
- Let me ask you a question,
did man create consciousness or consciousness man?
- What?
- Is there a god?
- I don't know.
- You die right now, do you see God?
- I think that God is beyond any definition
we can conceive and so I do think
that we should stop trying.
I think it causes nothing but trouble.
- Why can't you commit?
Do you, Steven believe God exists?
- Something does, something, call that a whatever,
you know, but I feel it, I do.
And I think you do too, Sean, you know,
or otherwise you wouldn't be asking.
- The maddening noise, politics, the news,
the fucking news.
And that cosmic blink, this will all be a desolate rock,
no matter what we do, meaningless.
- Fuck it.
- Wait, wait, wait, okay, wait, you're right, Sean,
you're right, okay, everything is meaningless.
There is no God, it's all useless and death
is just pure blackness, just nothingness, okay
and why go on, why do anything at all
when it's all fucking meaningless, right?
But go beyond just understanding
and accept the meaninglessness of life
and suddenly anything is possible
because it's all meaningless.
Failure, shame, media, all of it.
- If it's all meaningless, why don't I just rampage,
murder and pillage?
- Okay, right, because you know that it's wrong
but Sean, you can do whatever is right,
however you want, free from critique or ridicule.
- She's having his love child.
- What? - The president
got her pregnant and now she's having his baby.
- Who? - Rachel Maddow.
- Wait I thought that she was- - She is.
She is.
She did it on purpose.
She knows how weak he is.
- That's a hell of a patriot, I guess.
- Yeah, but I can spin this one.
- How about this, you say that it was a reach
across the aisle, the ultimate reach across the aisle,
more of a breach.
They did it on purpose to bring the country together
like never before.
And you have them name the baby Unity
or something like that, I don't know.
- [Sean] Well, I like that.
- He used to leave these hand drawn cartoons for me.
- Yeah, yeah, he mailed them to me too.
Be the only thing in the envelope.
- Some were stupid, but they made me laugh.
- Always, the polar bears.
- Out on the iceberg. - Yeah, wait, wait,
how did that one go?
- One says, where do you go when the caps melt?
- America, it's polarized.
(men chuckle)
- Yeah, he was something.
- I didn't know he sent them to anyone else.
- Might have just been us.
Swear you'll keep your mouth shut.
- Of course, I got nothing against the guy.
- Swear it to me.
- I swear, to you I would swear anything.
But I get to use the stuff about Jon Stewart,
the "Death to Smoochy" memorabilia and the fake Oscar,
all that man's success and yet there's a sad hole inside,
now that is pathos.
- All right, but no mention about the adult diapers, okay?
- Never.
Hey, thanks.
- No problem. - For believing in me,
I was beginning to doubt myself
whether or not I was a good person.
- Of course you're good,
now you just have to learn to love that goodness.
Loving yourself makes God your ally,
once you've done that it's easy to love others,
even with their faults.
- You believe in God. - Of course.
- So sure about it.
- Doing for others gives you an understanding.
- This whole time I thought it was the perfect show
I was searching for.
- Oh thank God, Gramps, will you make me a drink please?
(Steven sighs)
You know, I gotta tell you, I think I'm starting
to agree with your whole don't let boos be a crunch,
make it a foundation.
Thank you.
I don't know, I think I just, I gotta let her do
whatever she wants, you know
and then hope for the best, right?
(footsteps running)
I think I saved a man's life tonight.
The only problem is I don't know if he was worth saving.
Allison says everybody is worth saving but I don't know.
I think about those folks that saved Hitler,
during World War I, who was gased.
The doctors and the nurses, I mean,
you know, what if they were Jewish?
What if the problems that we have today, you know,
with the nation stem from our forefathers?
I mean, these guys signed a document, a declaration
of equality and they put their names to it
and then they lived the opposite, you know?
They had slaves, they oppressed women.
Doesn't the Bible say that the sins of the father
will be visited upon future generations.
So, the Civil War, the Civil Rights, the division
that we have right now.
I mean, couldn't all of this stem
from the fact that our forefathers did not live the lives
that they declared, their ideals, their values,
they put their names to it and they didn't do it.
What do you think?
Gramps?
Doesn't that figure.
I say my best stuff here to myself.
Gramps.
Hey.
(Nans cries)
- Honey?
- With all of this going on, I don't think I allowed myself
time to grieve.
- Well, he was a good man.
- Yeah. - Brilliant
and he lived a full life, he did.
- This is one of my favorites, "911 to Jesus."
- Yeah, that was a good one.
Probably his biggest hit, too.
- Oh, god, everybody loved it.
- Well. - Well, except
for the 911 dispatchers.
Apparently people actually
thought they could dial 911 to Jesus. (laughs)
♪ Sending out a 911 to Jesus ♪
♪ Putting out an APV to God ♪
♪ Someone tore my heart into pieces ♪
♪ And I'm falling in the land of Nod. ♪
- Oh, he was a good brother,
till he had to go and pull this shit,
I mean, right at the very end.
I mean, why put me through this?
I just can't believe that a guy who wrote "911 to Jesus"
would want this built.
- Just think of this as his last good dead to the world.
- Oh god, good deed?
Tell that to the protestors out there
and it's not a good deed, it's gross.
- You're focusing on the M word.
What he's saying is that we should teach kids it's okay,
he's not saying teach kids how to do it.
Can you imagine that?
- Oh, god.
- All right, class, 60 seconds, pull out your vibrators.
No checking your neighbors work.
Marilyn, arch your back.
No, he's saying it's okay to do it, we're humans,
we're sexual beings, we're animals
and you repress that stuff and then you know,
it all starts leaking out on the creepy side.
Ask the Catholics?
- Well, fine, then do it through sex ed,
not on a plaque with our family name on it
for the rest of God knows how long.
A plaque that has the whole country up in arms.
- It's starting a dialogue.
(banging from the attic)
- That's no mouse.
- Who you calling?
- Yes, I'm sorry to bother you
but I think we have an intruder in our house.
320 Maple Avenue, Brooklyn.
Why yes it is.
Thank you so much.
- They'll be right over.
- Who will be right over?
- The police. - Why?
- Listen.
- Could be one of the protestors.
- Yeah, probably some animal rights protestors
coming in to steal our mice.
- That's not mice.
- I don't know, it sounds like someone's practicing
what we're supposed to be teaching the kids.
- You know we should probably check that out.
- What if they're armed.
- If they're doing while armed, that's dangerous.
Trust me, I know.
(police knock)
- I'm so glad you're here. - Ma'am.
- That was fast.
- We were right outside. - Protest patrol.
- Dispatch said something about an intruder.
- Yeah, in the attic, listen.
- I bet it's a protestor trying to slip inside, let's go.
- Somebody's slipping inside something.
Hey, be careful up there, that's how horror films begin.
- Maybe this place really is haunted.
- Honey, there's no such thing as ghosts.
- But thank god there are evil spirits.
- It wasn't a horror film. - Close enough.
- We just got a little carried away.
- You know I can't believe that you would do such a thing.
- Well, sex isn't a crime, so.
- Not yet. - Or not anymore.
- Sorry. - Paul, just
go get some clothes on.
- Or we could have a toga party.
- Speaking of two sheets.
- Hate to interrupt but I gotta get going.
- Mr. O'Reilly, did you sleep okay?
- Best night ever, ready to conquer the world.
- You know with most people that's a figure of speech,
but with you.
- Would you like some breakfast?
- No, I must be going.
But we do have a slight problem, my gun is missing
and it needs to be returned
or I'm gonna have to call the cops.
- Well, there's plenty out there.
- Look, I don't wanna make it a big deal,
I just need it returned.
- You're welcomed to search me.
(all laugh)
- You could be arrested for that.
- Armed and dangerous.
- Disgusting, see this is what happens
when you give an inch.
- More like several.
(men laugh)
- Okay, I'm beginning to think God does hate tolerance.
All right, folks, last chance, I'm not messing around here.
- Hey, no need to make a call.
- Oh my god. - I got your gun.
- Aren't you- - Lorenzo.
- Yeah, hi, look, I got your gun, Sean,
the one that you gave to me last night
so you wouldn't kill yourself.
- Ah, no I did no such thing.
- Was that fake news.
You were a bit out of sorts, right Steven?
- He wasn't quite himself, although we all have our moments.
- Well, look you're not gonna make that call
because it would hurt your run for the presidency.
- What? - Yeah, that's right.
He decided last night after you saved his life.
And you're not gonna make a call,
'cause Yvonne is gonna change the plaque to read
love yourselves in all ways.
- I just cleared it with planning
and they're beyond relieved.
- Remember when you two were young
and you couldn't keep your hands off of each other?
And maybe you made love somewhere that you shouldn't have,
that's the one that you remember to this day,
so, money isn't as important as connection, right?
So keep this place.
- Hey what's that? - Just a note.
- You mind?
- Reminders for myself, bullet points,
now that I'm running, I just wanna make sure to you know
treat people better.
- Treat women as equals.
That's good.
No groping.
- It's a tough one, if you know for me
'cause it's been a bit of a problem.
- Minorities are, I'm not even gonna read that.
Just treat everybody as if they were your grandmother.
- Well, that'll work.
- It will work, stop questioning yourself,
you're the puppet master, be the puppet master.
And if you do go on to be the next president,
be the best damn president we've ever had.
Be proud of your shows.
They're entertaining people,
helping to keep their minds off the chaos in the world
but also think outside the box.
Slip some vitamins into that (indistinct).
- We've gotta go. - Okay.
And Steven, loosen up, man, I mean, she can take care
of herself and you, she's beautiful, successful,
I mean you've won the lottery.
You're trying so hard, you just don't see the gifts
being given to you.
The world's not perfect, you know,
you're not gonna find the perfect job.
People aren't gonna always agree,
doors aren't gonna work.
The imperfect nature of existence is it's beauty.
- [Crowd] Stop the plaque, stop the plaque!
- Ready to go. - [Crowd] stop the plaque!
- It was you all along.
- Nobody ever suspects the pest control guy.
- I thought you was this arch conservative.
- Yeah, but I know right from wrong.
- I'll be right out.
- Imperfect nature of existence is it's beauty.
I like that.
- And I always try to be as close
to imperfection as possible.
- And you've never looked so beautiful.
- It was George's idea, hide him in the attic.
You know they were like brothers from another mother,
so no phone calls, okay.
- You're really gonna change the plaque?
- It was Lorenzo's idea.
He thought it would bring people together
rather than deepening the divide.
'Cause after all that's what George's music was all about,
bringing people together so as they feel connected, loved.
Anyway, I'm gonna use my inheritance
to start a sex ed program for young people,
see what I can do to affect change.
Do you? - Yeah.
We're keeping the house, okay,
a place for us all to gather.
(Yvonne cries)
Me too.
- I like her.
- It's your gun. - Thanks.
All right.
- What are you doing?
- Calling the cops, I'm not gonna be blackmailed
by a criminal.
- Wait, wait, wait, don't make that call
and we'll say that you came up with the whole solution,
you changed the words on the plaque
that bridged the divide.
Sean O'Reilly, you're the bridge America needs.
- Nice.
(Steven sighs)
Are you sure you don't wanna come work for me,
I mean, you have got a gift.
- You know what, I think I will.
- Really? - O'Reilly. (laughs)
- I will see you two at 6 a.m. sharp.
- [Allison] So you're gonna influence the puppet master?
- Absolutely, we're gonna be working together.
- I am not working for that jerk, are you kidding me,
the guy's a freak, he's suicidal one minute,
running for president the next.
- Pretty much the same thing.
- Has to write himself a note to keep from groping,
why do lunatics run the world.
- Because normals are too busy living.
- Then what are you gonna do?
- I've had it with these people, I'm gonna run for office.
- That is fantastic!
What office?
- Well, this was fun, it might make a good show.
Family reunions bridging that American divide.
But we've got some cleaning to do.
I've actually discovered that I love vacuuming,
it's so therapeutic.
- There is a vacuum upstairs, you know.
- Therapy's in session.
(men laugh)
- Well, Gramps. - Well, indeed, Nans.
- What do you say, we go find us Ferris wheel.
- Ah, one's that totally empty
and then we go pay off the attendant to go away
and concentrate a little more on our entrance plan
than our exit strategy.
- Well, just so you know, I'm gluten-free.
- Oh.
(dramatic music)
- [Man] Victory is ours, the weeks I crumbled
under the weight of truth, our esteemed head
of the White Caucus,
Sean O'Reilly forged a solution,
thank god for men like him.
He is the bridge America needs.
- Are we forgetting anything?
- I don't think so.
- Ah, it feels like we're forgetting something.
- Are you okay?
- I don't know, I'm feeling anxious about tomorrow.
- It's not necessarily a bad thing
as long as it doesn't get out of control.
- I wouldn't mind getting out of control.
- It's been awhile since you've been out of control.
- The attic? - The attic.
(man knocks)
- Hello?
Hello?
Crazy ass folks.
Nothing better to do, money rots the mind,
I need to fix the door, I need to seal it shut again.
(thumping from attic)
Oh hell no, that's how horror movies start.
- Wait, are we forgetting something?
- Nope. - Oh yeah.
- Let's go get Jax.
- Ethereal tendrils.
(dramatic piano music)
(upbeat jazz music)
- Well, you've gotta hand it to the kids,
they pulled it off.