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- One of the easiest things in the world
to do is to fall in love with an ugly girl,
[audience laughs]
'cause they're gonna make it right for you.
They're gonna bring you the right wines.
They're gonna light your cigarettes for you, all that shit.
[audience laughs]
I've been there before, man.
I understand.
3/4 of the people in this room have been there.
[audience laughs]
And they're the nicest girls, really,
when you think about it.
I mean, that was probably the nicest girl
in high school, you know?
I had this thing, one time,
where I met this undercover fine girl, first,
where the cats are lookin' at the ugly girl
with the big glasses and the braces, you know.
I'm lookin' at her.
I'm thinkin', wow, that ass is starting to look real.
[audience laughs]
I'll bet when school starts again next year,
she's gonna be kinda right.
Fuckin' school started that next year, man,
she got some contact lenses.
She dropped a bunch of weight.
She was fine as hell.
But I was nice to her,
the year before.
[audience laughs]
I started dating' this girl, man.
She lived in this really rich community.
It was called Roland Park.
Her dad's name was Dr. Lebeaux.
He was a Black cat that looked White,
didn't want to be Black.
He didn't want me hangin' around.
The bastard slammed the door in my face.
He goes, "Mr. Waters?"
I said, "Yeah, I'm Ron Waters."
"Well, Mr. Waters, my daughter's not coming out,
and she's never going to come out."
Bam! [audience laughs]
I remember walkin' down this long circular driveway,
thinking, man, ain't that a bitch?
I get back to the crib. I call her up.
I said, "Deborah, your father slammed the door in my face."
"Yeah, I know, man. He's crazy.
Where can we meet?"
[audience laughs]
I said, "Well, uh, you can come over to my house.
My mom don't give a fuck."
[audience laughs]
I started fucking this girl in my pajamas, man.
[audience laughs]
She would come by the crib,
I wouldn't even bother puttin' my pants on.
[audience laughs]
[audience applauds]
So eventually, we started hangin' back at her house, again.
Her house was so big, man, she had her own wing,
so I could slip through the backdoor.
Nobody would know I was there.
But I was smokin'.
And they could smell the smoke in the house.
Mom came into the room.
She was like, "Deborah, somebody's smoking in here."
And I'm lookin' through the peephole, man.
The mom actually said,
"Deborah, open up your mouth."
She opened up her fuckin' mouth,
and poked her nose in, and she's like,
"It's not you, but it's in here somewhere.
"Somebody's been smoking."
So she opens up the closet, man.,
and she sees me behind the clothes.
My feet are stickin' out.
So she screams.
I bust for the backdoor.
I got my shoes in my hand.
I go.
The motherfucker's double locked.
[audience laughs]
So I had to sit down.
She has to fix me some cocoa with some shit.
And I had to tell her, you know,
"Please don't hold her responsible for my actions."
I mean, I was a man about it.
And I said, "You can call my parents.
This smoking habit, I,
I really gotta stop."
[audience laughs]
And after I got done talking, her mom was like,
"Well, damn.
Maybe I oughta give the nigger some pussy, too."
[audience laughs]
I mean, this is the most motherfuckin'
mature 14-year-old I've met.
[audience laughs]
Thank you, good afternoon.
[upbeat music]
- Ron Waters, ladies and gentlemen.
Ron Waters!
[audience applauds]
Ron Waters, everybody.
♪ Take me all the way to the top ♪
♪ Goin' to heaven to meet you
[lid clicks]
[bottle clacks]
[Ron sighs]
♪ To the top
[knuckles rap]
- Yeah? - Hey, Ron, there's a guy
named Sterling French here to see you.
White dude, crazy hair.
- Sterling French?
I'll be damned.
Send him back.
- [Staffer] All right.
- Sterling French, how are you, man?
- I'm good. I'm good.
- I didn't think I was ever gonna see you again, man.
- Well, you weren't.
But I was in town, and, uh,
I thought I'd come see you.
- Well, I appreciate that.
I'm glad to see you.
What are you drinking?
- Bourbon.
How you makin' out, nowadays?
You seem to be doin' all right.
You got your own spot.
- [Ron] Well, I'm hanging in.
I'm all right.
My wife owns the spot.
I'm the entertainment.
- [Sterling] You know, Ron, I'm starting
to get calls for you again.
- [Ron] Oh, yeah?
- Yean, something's happening.
I got four to five different calls for you,
in the past month.
- Wow.
- People want to see you again.
- That's fantastic.
- Yeah.
And I'd like to represent you in these deals
if you want to go through with all this.
- Who's asking for me?
- Echoes, Three's, One Night Stand, The Comedy Cafe.
But, Ron, I need to know that you want to do it.
I need to know that you're okay,
that what happened before is not gonna happen again.
- Come on, Sterling, you didn't come all the way here
to bring that up again, did you, man?
- No, I came here to offer you a job.
I came here to make money with you.
I want to make money with my friends.
But I need to know that you're all right.
- I'm good, man. I'm cool.
- Ron, I'm serious.
I don't want a repeat.
- You, I won't...
Really, I'm good, man.
I promise.
Please, I promise.
- All right.
[solemn music]
[gentle music]
- Hey. - Hey, baby.
How you doing? - Good.
- [Ron] Can I get you somethin' from the kitchen?
- No, no, I'm good.
- I invoiced that case of brandy
that I picked up in Wisconsin.
- Good job. [laughs]
- I learned from the best.
- [Kim] Thank you.
- Excuse me.
Sit next to you.
- [Reporter] Held around roughly
over the 10,000 level.
You had import rice, took their shot
and plunged eight to one.
[Kim laughs]
[lips smacking]
[Kim grunts]
- Baby. - Hmm?
- I was tryin' to concentrate.
- I'm concentratin' too.
- Yeah, but I got inspectors coming
to the new place tomorrow.
I gotta have all those numbers ready.
- I'm trying to find something to love, tonight.
- Baby, [laughs] let's do this tomorrow night, please.
- Every night, it's something different.
You don't like this. I can't do that.
Nothing's doin' nothin' for you no more, huh?
- Oh, that's not true.
- You got me overthinkin' this stuff, baby.
I can't be thinking about you all the time.
And let me just tell you,
I got to go back out on the road again, too.
- What are you talking about?
- Sterling French stopped by the club tonight.
They're asking for me out in L.A.
- Sterling French?
Mr. Hollywood himself?
Who's asking for you out in L.A.?
- Comedy Magic, Laugh Factory.
- Really?
What about our club?
- Your club.
- Ron, we're up 25%
since you started headlining four nights a week.
Items per order are up.
Drink orders are up. Turnover is up.
I mean, we're in the middle of building our new club.
You can't leave now.
- I understand that I sell more wine
and steaks for you, when I'm performing,
but I didn't come into this world for that.
I got an opportunity to do my thing in a wide scale.
What am I supposed to do?
- So how long would you be gone for?
- Eight weeks, somethin' like that.
Maybe more if it goes well.
Maybe less if it doesn't.
- I don't want you to go.
Stay here.
Stay here with me, work here with me.
- You're getting all emotional.
You're starting to make me think the plane is going down.
What? I'm not gonna see you anymore?
- No, no, it's not that. It's not that.
I just, uh,
I just want you to leave on a better note, you know,
like under better circumstances.
- Look, darling,
God's gonna give us a break.
All right, I'm gonna get this act together.
You're gonna get the club together.
It's gonna be all right.
Come here.
[lively music]
♪ I don't mind the system of emotion ♪
- Can I offer you anything else, Mr. Waters?
- Yes, some club soda. - Club soda?
- Yeah. - I'll get that for you.
- Thank you.
♪ New generation
♪ I'm a businessman
♪ I got my business card
♪ There are things that I trust, yeah ♪
♪ I'm a business baby
♪ I'm a business guy
♪ 2% MIs
♪ Here's my business card
♪ Yeah
♪ I don't mind the new situation ♪
[Shelly laughs] - I've never tried it.
- My dad used to do it a lot.
He loved it.
- Whew, finally sittin'.
[Shelly laughs] [phone rings]
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
Hello.
- [Ron] Hi, baby, I made it. - How is it out there?
- Uh, looks like everybody's got money out here,
if I didn't know any better.
How are you? - I'm good, I'm good.
I'm here with Shelly.
We're gonna do a power walk.
- Oh, okay, cool.
All right, hey, uh,
baby, I got a, I got a show tonight,
so I'm gonna call you afterward, or I'll call you tomorrow.
- Call me tonight.
- Okay, my love.
- Okay, bye-bye.
- How you guys doing?
- [sighs] You know.
- Ah, I completely understand. [laughs]
What's up?
- Same old, same old.
I've been so busy.
We haven't had time for sex, and he wants it,
and now he's gone away in the middle of all of that.
- Is it him, or do you want someone else?
- I don't know.
I mean no.
We've been together a long time.
- Well, maybe the time away will be good for you guys.
You know, you can figure out what you mean to each other,
come to a new understanding.
- Maybe. - Maybe?
- I don't know.
- Hello, sir, welcome to Shangri La.
[gentle music]
- I can help you, sir.
Hi, welcome to the Shangri La.
- Thank you. - Mm-hmm.
- Last name is Waters.
How are you?
- I'm fine. Thank you.
Ron?
- Yes, that's me.
- You know, I recognize you from somewhere.
You an actor or something?
- [chuckles] I do a few things.
Acting is one of them.
- Okay.
Let's see.
Yes, we have you in, um, suite 500.
It's an ocean-view suite.
You're gonna like it.
- Cool. - Mm-hmm.
- I think there's supposed to be a piano in there for me.
- Mm-hmm.
Yes, we heard about that, and it is in there.
- Thank you. - Mm-hmm.
- What's your name? - Janine.
- Thank you, Janine.
I appreciate your help.
- Absolutely.
Elevator's off to your left.
[solemn music]
- They're comin' out.
- No, no, I got to call my people, man.
Let 'em know I'm in town, doin' shows.
- Give me the information.
We'll take care of 'em for you.
- No, Sterling, I can do it, man.
- Ron, it's not your job.
You can't do everything.
That's the problem with people multitasking, you know.
You never get nowhere.
Duke Ellington knew that.
I got to have good people around me
in order to be Duke Ellington.
Got to have the best people around ya.
♪ I hit the door, it's on
- Hey, man!
- How you been, man? - I'm good, man.
Good to see you. I'm glad you came out.
- Oh, come on, man.
You know showtime's my favorite time of day.
- I love it. [both laughs]
Hey, Sterling, you remember my cousin Floyd?
- Number 42.
A bad motherfucker!
[all laugh]
How you been?
- Uh, great, man.
- Hey, man, you know you're up soon, right?
- Yeah. - Okay.
[laughs] There's no smoking on stage, Ron, come on.
- Excuse me, I gotta go get ready, man.
- What you drinking nowadays?
- Uh, man, not too much.
I'll have a glass of vodka.
- Bullshit. I haven't seen you in forever.
We're gonna have more than a glass.
We're gonna have a few.
[audience laughs]
- I mean, I think the worst date I had was
about a week and half ago.
I went out with this girl,
and she kept talkin' about her ex-boyfriend, the whole time,
who was apparently this big bull rider in the rodeo.
[crowd gasps] Yeah.
She did confess to me, though,
that he wasn't very good in bed.
She said all he was really concerned with was gettin' on
and gettin' off in eight seconds without gettin' hurt.
[audience laughs]
[audience applauds]
We are gonna get the show started here.
Our first comedian comin'
to the stage has been gone for a while,
and when I say a while, I mean, last time he was around,
"Sanford & Son" was up for an Emmy,
so yeah. [audience laughs]
He's been on hiatus with an emphasis on high.
- [Woman] Oh yeah!
[audience cheering]
- [MC] He's been in many, many films, many TV shows
and more commercials than I care to count.
Ladies and gentlemen, a big, warm welcome
for Mr. Ron Waters!
[audience cheers]
- Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
I gotta tell ya, I'm noticing a lot of confused
and angry people walking around out here now, man.
And it must be because, over the years,
a lot of shit has gone bust on 'em,
and now they gotta rely on themselves.
[audience laughs]
And that's a scary-ass, motherfuckin' feeling.
Motherfuckers are depressed,
because they have to believe in themselves again.
But you gotta get happy, man.
Now is the time to realize that anything is possible.
Everybody makes a come up, man.
Mexicans are making fuckin' sushi now.
[audience laughs]
The thing I realize is that anything is possible,
and you have to prepare yourself for the good times.
Everybody makes a come up.
It's like,
nobody thought George Foreman would be a billionaire.
[audience laughs]
Everybody knows who Muhammad Ali is, right?
- [Audience Members] Yeah!
- For motherfuckers that are not hip to it,
George Foreman was the heavyweight champion
who suffered a humiliating defeat to Muhammad Ali,
in The Rumble in the Jungle, in Zaire, in the 1970s.
Ali just like embarrassed him, globally,
called him a mummy.
Had the Africans booin' him,
screamin' all kinds of shit to him.
Muhammad made it feel like George wasn't even Black.
[audience laughs]
In Africa!
[audience laughs]
After that ass-whoopin',
George went into like a crazy depression, for years,
and had to find himself again.
That motherfucker made a come up.
Let me tell you, so one day, George is at his place,
in Houston, layin' around,
and the phone rings.
A manufacturer out of Dallas says they got a grill,
where the grease comes off of it.
[audience laughs]
They asked him to come down to take a look at it.
George has no idea
that 450 motherfuckers have already turned down the deal,
and he's like the last of the celebrities, you know.
So he goes down there, walks in, says, uh,
"I like hamburgers. I'll do it.
Give me 50% of the shit, I'll do it."
But by the time they got down to him,
they'd have taken anybody.
So they give him 50% of the shit.
Every motherfucker in America
and half of Europe buys one, you know.
[audience laughs]
The shit pissed off all the entertainment business.
Can you imagine?
Sylvester Stallone's still mad at his motherfuckin' agent
for fuckin' him out of that.
Hulk Hogan's mad at his motherfuckin' people.
Paul Anka is mad at motherfuckers.
[audience laughs]
Even, [laughs] even Clint Eastwood misses the shit
where he gets pissed off at his people, right?
George, meanwhile, has hit the lotto.
I mean, they sell that shit everywhere, man.
And when the shit first came out,
it was like getting the first hip hop album and some shit.
Black people were supportive, basically,
because it was the only product
that had a Black man's name on it.
White people are buying it, because they were like,
you know, I bought a George Foreman Grill,
so you can't call me a racist.
[audience laughs] You cannot call me a fucking racist, man.
I'm investing in the only Black product I ever heard of.
[audience laughs] But George has lost his mind.
This is how crazy he is, right.
So one day, he looks over at his boys.
He says, "I'm ready now, man.
Let's go to Chicago."
So they get on the private George Foreman Grill plane.
Fly off to Chicago.
[audience laughs]
They get in the limo.
He tells the driver, "Take me to Muhammad Ali's house."
George goes over to Muhammad, and he says,
"Muhammad, man,
you didn't think about the grill.
[audience laughs]
You fucked up, Muhammad.
You might've won the fight, Muhammad, nigger,
but I won the war.
You can't even chew celery.
I'm a billionaire.
Look, look over at me.
Look, look, look, look at me, Muhammad.
[audience groans]
Muhammad?
You in there?
[audience laughs]
You in there, Muhammad?
I won, bitch.
Understand?
Yeah, you might have movies.
I could buy your movie.
And then I would own you.
And you can't even look at me.
Hey, wait a minute, wait a minute.
Give him some oxygen, give that motherfucker some oxygen!
Get this motherfucker some oxygen.
I want him to hear this shit.
I'm rich, you fuckin' bastard!"
[audience applauds] [upbeat jazz music]
Get another one? - Yeah, man.
- Excuse me, yo, hey, Ron,
great show, man.
- Thank you, brother.
I appreciate you, man. - Great show, funny shit.
- Thank you, man. - Y'all want something?
- No, we good, for the moment.
- Okay. - Thank you.
- Your welcome-back=to-L.A. drink, you know what I'm sayin'.
Okay! - All right. [laughs]
- [Sterling] I'm out, yeah.
- [Ron] What, you leaving?
- [Sterling] Yeah.
- This is our night.
- Yeah, it is our night.
And while the good shit is happenin',
I'm out.
- All right.
All right, man.
- Your Highness.
Always a pleasure. - Ah, the pleasure's mine.
- Big guy, 42! - All right, man.
Oh, dive safe, cool.
- You got it. - Okay, man.
- If I can find my car. - Careful out there.
♪ Goin' to get your hair raised ♪
♪ You got to get by me
♪ How you look, all the way
- Hello. - Hi.
I'm Rosa.
- Hi, Rosa, I'm Ron Waters.
- Hi, um, I just, I really wanted to say
that was a really good show.
I'm a really big fan.
- Oh, thank you, darling.
I appreciate it.
- How old are you, Ron?
- I'm 44. Is that too old?
- No.
- How old are you?
- I'm 24.
Is that too young?
- No.
Let me get your coat.
- This is nice.
- Thank you.
- Do you play or is that just for show?
- Darling, I'm a musician, a rock star, an actor,
a living genius.
- That's a lot.
- Care for a drink?
- Cranberry and vodka.
- Okay.
- Vodka for you, whiskey for me.
[bright piano music]
It's a song called "Have You Heard From Leonard Yet?"
It's about a guy named Leonard
who I called, a long time ago,
but the nigger ain't called me back yet.
[Rosa laughs]
Most people don't realize I'm a composer, also, you know.
You're very beautiful, you know that?
- Thank you.
♪ Beautiful skin, beautiful hair ♪
♪ Beautiful eyes
- I like how the skin and the hair meet.
[Rosa laughs]
It's true.
[gentle piano music]
Is that a butterfly?
- Yeah.
- Oh.
Okay.
- You know what they say.
If you kiss a butterfly and make a wish,
it's supposed to come true.
- Is that right?
That's what they say.
- Well, I would love to kiss the butterfly.
- Then go ahead.
[phone rings]
Hey, baby.
- Hey!
How are you?
- I'm good. I'm trippin', you know.
It does actually rain in Southern California.
How are you?
- Oh, I'm good, yeah.
I, I didn't hear from you, last night.
I'm curious. How did it go?
- Last night went over very well.
- [Kim] Yeah?
- Yeah, it did.
Saw my cousin Floyd, he came out,
so that was great.
Thinkin' about bringing him in.
He's retired from football.
He doesn't have much to do, you know.
- Well, I didn't call to talk to you about Floyd Cash, Ron,
but I'm really happy to hear that you've got a team now,
in just 48 hours, and that your rich cousin's on it.
I just wanna know, what's up?
- What do you mean?
- I mean, one minute, you're here, taking care of business,
and the next thing you know, you're on a plane?
I mean, I didn't even get a chance to really sit with you.
Have we been together so long that you just up and leave?
- Yeah, we've been together that long.
I got a opportunity.
I mean, last night went good, you know.
You know, you know I don't like to be out here.
You know I want to be with you.
- Business is good here, Ron.
- Business is good if you're a businesswoman.
But I'm an artist.
- Okay, Ron, I'm just telling you,
I'm just telling you.
Business is good here.
I'm not threatening. I'm just telling you.
We have it good.
[phone beeps]
[knocks at door]
[man and woman laughing]
- [Man] I got everyone trippin'.
When I was 29, I was over here, though.
They thought I was still 29.
- [Woman] You just said that.
- [Man] Mm-hmm, what?
- [Woman] Aren't we? [laughs]
- [Man] We're what?
Actually, I was- [woman laughs]
- Hiya, Ron.
How are you, sweetie? - How you doin', Janice?
- I'm good. - I'm good.
- Mwuah! You remember Rick?
- Of course. - Mm-hmm.
- My man! - My man, what's up?
- How ya doing? - I'm good, man.
- It's good to see you. - You too. You look good.
- You too.
[Rick laughs]
- Janice wanted to come by, see how you were doing.
Just came from a celebrity dinner.
- Yo, man, get a drink.
- Yeah, think I'll do that.
Babe, would you like one? - Yes, yes, please,
just a little one.
I hear you're giggin' out here now.
- Yeah, well, I figure it was time
to try to make a comeback,
see if I still got it.
- [laughs] Well, Floyd let me know where you were staying.
I just thought I'd come by and check out your digs.
Not bad, not bad at all.
I hear you're hot.
Hey, let me help you with that.
Okay.
[Janice laughs]
You know, I actually just wanted to come by
and tell you that I'm not mad anymore.
I'm happy now.
- Oh, okay, cool.
I'm glad you're happy.
- Yeah, so, uh,
I'm gonna come see your show.
And then I'm gonna tell people all about it,
and I will do for you what you couldn't do for me.
I got a little juice in this town now,
so I'll tell people that you're here.
- Okay. - All right.
Thank you.
- You're welcome.
- Here's to you.
Take me home.
- Right away.
- Yo, man, thanks for stoppin' by.
- My man!
I like that. That's hot.
- You ever have your past roll up on ya?
Every now and again, my life catches up with me.
And it did today.
And the shit's got me all wound up, psychologically.
I feel like Marvin Gaye.
[audience laughs]
My ex-wife showed up in my hotel today,
just rolled up to the room.
And it's funny, because when we split up,
I was worried about, how would she survive?
Would she be okay?
How is she gonna get around?
Turns out that she's married to Rick Fox,
the ex-Laker. [audience laughs]
So, actually, uh,
I shouldn't be worried about shit.
[audience laughs]
I mean, here I am, damned near homeless,
[audience laughs]
and she rockin' Gucci and diamonds and all that shit.
And I'm worried, unbelievable.
It just goes to show you.
The people you worry about will be all right.
I'm just tellin' you motherfuckers.
[audience laughs]
Don't be worryin'.
I definitely don't have to worry about her.
She's eatin',
better than me.
[audience laughs]
She stopped by to tell me that she's not mad at me anymore.
But that's all bullshit. She's still mad.
[audience laughs]
And actually, I understand her being mad,
because she had to spend so many nights eatin' alone.
So now she's rich.
And this whole shit has given me a whole different slant
on work and business.
Nothing will piss a cat off more
than to be told, like, you know,
I'm with a rich man.
[audience laughs]
I mean, that'll just make a motherfucker go really get rich.
[audience laughs]
[upbeat music]
[all chattering] Now I got to talk for you?
- Uh-huh. [laughs]
- Hey, man, find out about those tickets for Mike-
- Drinks! Drinks!
Hey, Ron! Hey, Ron!
- [Ron] Hey! - Hey!
You remember my wife Summer?
- She was not your wife the last time I saw her,
and of course, I do.
How you doing? You look fantastic.
- Thank you. I enjoyed your show.
- Oh, thank you.
Summer from Malibu, right.
That's like a oxymoron or something'.
[Summer laughs] - Yeah, she,
she didn't even have to change her name
for an audition. - Okay.
- [laughs] Hey, whoa, this is her best friend, Becky.
She wanted to meet you.
- How you doing?
- I'm fine. It's really nice to meet you.
- You too.
- She gonna be a star.
- Okay, I believe that. [laughs]
- Hey, Floyd, what's up, buddy?
- What's up, big time?
[engine purrs]
- [Billie] Hey, Ron!
- Billie, how you doing, beautiful?
- It's great to see you.
- So glad you could come.
- Oh, thanks for havin' us.
- [Billie] The show was amazing.
- Oh thank you. - Good job.
- Thank you. This is my friend Rosa.
- Hi, nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you. - And this is for you.
- Oh, thank you.
Well, you guys come in.
- Okay. - There's food and drinks,
and the piano is in back.
- All right.
♪ I took a trip on a train
♪ Saw things I never seen
♪ In my world, it don't mean a thing ♪
♪ Compared to you
♪ That's why I'm there for you
♪ I climbed on a mountaintop
♪ Saw this great big world don't stop ♪
♪ But if you need me
♪ Everything can drop
♪ That's 'cause I care for you
- It's amazing how many things one can do, you know?
- Yeah, yeah, it is.
- I know how that feels, in my own way.
I started off painting.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah, I didn't tell you that?
- No, I would've remembered.
- Yeah, that's what I went to school for, graphic design.
And I got a job at a boutique clothing store.
I mean, I had to make a living.
I got into fashion.
Now I design my own clothes.
That's why I'm at the shop.
They actually carry some of my clothes.
Kind of a different path, but I like it.
It's a start, but it can be big.
- I like that you're doing your own thing.
- There's no other way for me, really.
- I'm glad I met you, Rosa.
Bein' on the road is difficult.
You know, I'm glad I found somebody
that has somethin' in common with me.
I'm glad I have you, because I actually get to focus
on something other than myself, my own life.
[bright music]
♪ I fell in love
♪ I fell in love, mama
[singing in foreign language]
[kettle screeching]
Here, there you go.
- Thank you.
- What are you smiling at?
- I'm happy.
- Oh, okay.
Cool.
- I love you, Ron.
- Already?
- I'm 24, and I've never been in love before.
It doesn't take long.
And I know what I want.
- That's right. You're 24.
How in the hell do you know what you want?
You haven't experienced anything.
- Yeah, but I had the best time ever with you, Ron.
Ever, you know?
- Yeah, but there is something to be said
about going through pain, experiencing things.
You're tryin' to get yourself together.
You haven't seen the world.
There are a lot of people you haven't met.
- I understand that, and all of that will come,
but right now, this is what I know.
And I don't want to know anything else.
Is there something wrong with that?
- How are you not gonna know anything more?
You're in the world.
- Yeah, but I'm in the world with you, Ron.
I'm in love with you.
- Rosa, I've had a great time with you, too,
and I could love you,
but I don't know that I'm capable
of head-over-heels behavior.
- You're cynical.
- If you knew the story behind my life,
you would understand.
I mean, I, I basically left my first wife
to be with my current wife,
thinkin' that would be forever.
And now that's all messed up.
I mean, that just goes to show you my delusion.
I mean, I've been through narcotics,
walkin' off stage, sleepin' on my career.
- That's what I'm talking about.
You've seen all of that.
Let me show you something different.
Let me take care of you.
I've never been in love before.
You should take advantage of that.
No one will ever love you like this again.
- I believe it.
- Hello. - Hey.
- Sorry I'm late. [lips smack]
- You look amazing.
- Thank you very much. - Really nice.
- Runnin' around all day.
- I love this dress. - Thank you.
- It's gorgeous.
I took the liberty of ordering a saki.
- Whoa, saki for lunch?
To us! - To us!
- [Kim] Mm! What is up?
Saki, yeah.
- You remember that barbecue I went to, uh,
last weekend, at Brian's house.
Dave and his girlfriend Katherine were there.
Maybe you remember them from, from Alice's birthday party?
- Not really.
- Well, we were just talking for a while,
and Ron's name came up, 'cause they were just out in L.A.,
and they saw him, and I said, "Oh, yeah,
that's my girlfriend's husband.
He's out there working."
They said, "Oh, we think we saw your girlfriend.
They were sitting on the beach,
holding hands and kissing,
really beautiful, dark hair, olive-skinned."
"No, my girlfriend has blonde hair."
"No, this girl had black hair.
She looked Latin."
"Are you sure?"
"Pretty sure, yeah."
So...
Kim, I struggled with telling you this,
but I just, I felt that you should know.
[Kim chuckles]
- No, no, no, no.
No, I'm glad that you told me,
but are they sure that it's Ron?
I mean-
- Yeah, they were pretty much right next to him.
- You know, Ron said something to me, one time.
He said, "I am capable of a lot of things,
but I need you to do one thing for me, Kim.
I need you to support me emotionally."
I've told you everything that's wrong with him,
and I think I have to take responsibility for my part.
- Yeah, but, sweetheart,
you've been doing so many things, by yourself, for so long.
Why can't he support you emotionally?
- What good are we to each other then?
I've got to find out what's gonna happen.
I have to lie down next to him.
I'm gonna go to him.
- Kim, I love you, but can I just tell you,
I think that that's crazy.
- You know what? Maybe it is crazy.
But it's not like we don't love each other.
And I'll either find the strength to stay with him,
or I'll find the strength to leave him,
but either way, I'm gonna go.
- I'm in really heavy like.
I mean, I really do like Rosa, a lot.
She's in love,
which gives me the right trajectory for my life.
She's madly in love with me, man.
[Floyd laughs]
Madly.
I don't know if I'm wrong for doin' what I'm doin', man,
but she's so lovely, and it feels so right.
- It's not right for, like, your spiritualness.
But it is right for life's experiences, you know,
which is what you need, as a composer and as a comedian,
as a writer, as an athlete, hmm.
You really do need some life experiences, man.
That's why motherfuckers like Picasso, Prince,
and Quincy Jones, all these guys don't feel bad
about none of this shit.
They really don't, man,
'cause they tryin' to get somethin'
that makes an effect on the whole culture of the world.
- Hmm.
- See, you not just one cat tryin' to get a house
or get a place near the water or a new car.
You tryin' to affect the culture.
And therefore, that gives you the right to not get sweated.
[Ron chuckles]
- My buddy.
[phone rings]
Kim.
Hey, baby.
How are you?
Oh, I'm good. I'm just sittin' here with Floyd Cash.
We're on our way to get a bite to eat and some Bloody Marys.
- Well, things are goin' well with the club,
and we're at a good point with the new place.
So I was thinkin' that this might be a good time
to come see you.
- Baby, I'm out here workin' every day.
I'm on the road, you know.
I'm all show business, out here.
I'm smilin'. I'm kissin'.
I'm givin' people hope, you know,
givin' people hope.
- Great, I'll be there.
- [Ron] Okay, so you, you just want to be in the mix,
instead of just being my wife.
- Well, if being your wife means
that I'm not gonna see you for months and months,
then if that's what you're talking about-
- What can I do about that?
- Nothin', I'm comin'.
- All right.
Well, uh, if you're comin' out here, do me a favor
and wear that blue skirt I like, huh?
- Are you sure?
I don't know if I look that good in that outfit.
- Sweetheart, I'm askin' you
to wear somethin' I like to see you in.
That means it looks good to me.
- All right, baby, I'll do that for you. [laughs]
- Thank you.
- Look, baby, I want to talk to you,
but can I call you back,
'cause I'm talkin' to Floyd, right now.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna look up flights.
- [Ron] Okay, let me know.
- [Kim] All right, I love you.
- I love you, too.
- Okay, bye-bye.
[Kim sighs]
- It's funny, man.
I was a ballplayer, right?
So nine months out of the year, you on the road.
You got to go everywhere.
The coach don't want your girl travelin' with you, Ron.
- Yeah, I know, man, but what can I do?
You know, I mean, I can't say no to her.
She's a good businesswoman.
You can't hate that.
But this young girl, shh, she hookin' me up
with the salads and the wines and the nutrients,
rubbin' me down, in the middle of the night,
that keeping-me-alive shit.
But I'm new to her, you know.
- Yeah, not for long.
She gonna make you love her, treatin' you like that.
[knuckles rap]
- I baked them.
- I love it.
[door clacks]
- I roasted a whole chicken.
- That's a lot of food.
- I hope you're hungry.
- Just for a second, baby.
- Rosa, I'm gonna be honest with you.
My wife's comin' in from Chicago,
so I, I really can't see you, for a few days.
- Why?
I thought there was nothing going on between you.
- There isn't.
- Can't you tell her not to come, that you're busy?
- She wants to come.
And at this point, it's just easier, for me, you know,
to find out what she wants and be done with her,
rather than, you know, drag stuff out.
- Are you sleeping in the same bed?
- I got a two-bedroom suite, darling.
Don't worry.
And I really appreciate the fact that you, you know,
payin' so much attention to me.
This has nothing to do with you.
You're in there.
- I know it's really not my place to say anything.
I just don't like the idea of you seeing her.
- You have nothing to worry about, really.
Okay?
- Okay.
- You know, when I was with the Giants, you know,
some of them motherfuckers were on the sauce, like Mark.
But I didn't need no chemical enhancements.
It's all heart and soul. - Not you.
- Right? - All natural.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- Passion. - Passion.
Oh!
[gentle music]
- You want something?
- No, I'm fine.
- You should eat something, darling. You sure?
- Yeah, I'm okay.
[Rosa groans] - Hey.
Shouldn't you be getting ready about now?
Come on, baby, I can't deal with this, today.
All right?
- You could at least stay with me.
- You knew that I had to go to the airport, today, right,
but you wanted to go out.
And you're drinking crazy. You know what I mean?
You're drinking nothing but wine.
We're sitting in restaurants.
You're not even ordering food.
Okay, you know what I'm saying?
I get the cheek?
- When you act like that.
[gentle piano music]
- Are you over me, Ron?
- No, why do you ask that?
- I don't know.
It just feels that way.
But it's probably just me. [scoffs]
- It's just you.
[lips smack]
[gentle piano music]
♪ Give me sunshine
♪ Sunsets
♪ Raindrops and dew
[door clacks]
Can I get you a drink?
- Yes, you may.
I'll have some wine.
- Cabernet.
- Perfect.
[piano strings twang]
You've been playin'?
- A little bit.
Not as much as I would like to.
- To us, Ron.
You're kissin' me like you're kissin' a cousin.
- Oh?
Oh.
- How could you not be excited,
for not seeing me for three weeks?
- [Ron] Oh, baby, it's, uh...
You just wouldn't understand.
It's all these shows. I'm tired.
- Yeah, right.
I wouldn't understand.
Put your hands on me.
[Ron chuckles]
[gentle urban music]
- [Ron] Yo, Pat!
- Hey, Ronnie!
- What's up, man?
- How you been, man? - I've been good.
Pretty good, I've been in town for a little while,
doing some shows, man. You know, you should come by.
- I'd like that, brother.
Just let me know, okay?
Who are you with?
- Kim Waters, this is my good friend Patrick Drummond.
- How do you do? - This is my wife.
- Very nice to meet ya.
- Nice to meet you.
- You remember Floyd Cash.
- Yes, I do, number 42, Ohio State.
- [laughs] Hey, hey.
- Number 42! - All right, all right.
- The old guy! - Hey, man.
This is my lady, Silvia Lee.
- Hi, nice to meet you.
- It's nice to meet you, too, welcome.
Well, listen, guys, why don't you go on up?
And I'll get you a drink, in a minute.
- Fantastic, man.
- Hey, man, it's good to see you.
- All right, man, you too.
- Yeah. [laughs]
[upbeat dance music]
[singing in foreign language]
- Sorry it took me so long.
The bartender hit on me.
- [laughs] Of course he did.
You dressed up nice.
On top of everything else, you look good.
- [laughs] On top of everything else?
What does that mean?
- Everything else?
- Yeah.
- You're a cool chick.
You're smooth.
You know how to say baby and honey.
You know how to get to the bar to get the drinks.
You look good.
You fly like that.
- Well, thank you.
Here's to us, being out here, together.
[Kim sighs]
I want you bad.
[lips smacking]
[Ron moaning] [Kim gasping]
Yeah. [Ron sighs]
[Ron grunting]
- There we go. It's like a tortilla.
See, I like feeding you.
[both laugh]
- Hey, how are you guys doing?
I'm Robert Rockwell.
This is actually my spot here, so-
- Very nice. - I wanted to come over
and introduce myself
and give you guys a little complimentary somethin'.
I'm a big fan.
- Thank you, Robert.
That means a lot to me, and this is my wife,
Kim Waters. - Oh, okay.
Nice to meet you, Kim. - How do you do?
Tiramisu?
- That's, that's what it is.
[all laugh]
Enjoy it.
- We love it. - You're welcome, guys.
- Thank you. - Thank you, man.
- Nice. - Very nice.
Ron, last night was wonderful.
I had a really nice time.
Did you?
- Yeah, I did.
I could tell. [laughs]
- Mm-hmm.
Baby, makin' love to you,
it's like hitting the lottery, for me.
It's like, for me, it's like winning the Superbowl.
It's very important.
If I don't do it, I get depressed.
I need you to understand that.
- I do.
I love you, Ron.
And I want to do what you want to do.
- I love that.
[audience cheering]
[audience applauds]
- So, uh, so I went to the music awards, last night.
Well, I went to the parties.
[crowd member applauding]
See, now there's a motherfucker that's never been anywhere.
[audience laughs]
Yeah, took my wife, which was a good thing,
because she's always like, "I really want to go out.
I really want to go out.
You never take me to any of the good parties."
And it's not like I'm dyin'
to go out to motherfuckin' places.
Half the women that you're with are basically,
I mean, they're there just to see if you still got shine.
- [Woman] Hey, hey, Ron, you got shine, baby!
- [Woman] You got shine!
[audience cheers]
- Yeah, I don't know if I'm fine, but I know I'm good.
[audience cheers]
[gentle urban music]
- Hey, Ron!
Niki Crawford wants to meet you.
- When?
- Right now, motherfucker, right now.
♪ Do you feel my sensitivity
- Hi. - How do you do?
- I'm good. How are you?
- I'm doing well.
- I really enjoyed your show.
- Thank you very much. Thank you.
If I'd known you were in the audience,
I'd have shouted out to you.
- No, no, this is your show, your time.
I just wanted to come by
and say I had a really good time, though.
Well, I'm glad you did.
Ah, this is my wife, Kim Waters.
- How are you?
- This is my cousin, Floyd Cash,
his lady, Sylvia. - Pleasure.
- Hi, nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.
So I'm doin' Cavalcade on the 15th,
and I would love for you to open for me,
if you got the time, if you're available.
- I would be honored and delighted.
- Good, so I'll get in touch with Sterling,
and we'll set it up.
- Great. - Yeah, I'll contact ya.
I got ya, ma'am.
- Great.
- That's great. Thank you for coming.
- No problem. - Thank you for being here.
- See ya later. - Yeah.
That's good, man.
You see that? - Some exciting stuff!
- Oh my gosh. - Yeah, man.
Mm-mm-mm. - Aww.
- Cous, your pumped.
Yeah, man, I'm with ya, man.
Backstage passes, baby, come on.
- [Sylvia] Let's celebrate, champagne toast.
- Yeah, a toast, toast, toast.
- Champagne. - Let me get my drink.
Woo, woo!
- It's been a while since I seen you look so good.
You got a glow.
- Why, thank you. [laughs]
What did you expect?
- Nothing less.
- [Staffer] For the lady.
- These are beautiful.
Are they for anything in particular?
- You're in a good mood.
- That's because you've been treating me well.
Women can sense when you love them, Ron,
and when you don't.
[phone rings]
- I gotta take this.
I'll be right back.
I'll call you back in two seconds.
Hey.
- I know, Ron.
- [Ron] You know what?
- I know.
- Look, stop playing games and tell me what's up.
- You stop playing games.
I know you and your wife are closer than you let on.
Be with you in one second.
- What?
Why do you say that?
- I came to the club, last night, and I saw you two.
- You saw us in public.
What were we gonna do?
- Well, not hold hands and kiss and all that.
- You should've called before you came.
- Ron, it's a public nightclub.
- Yeah, but you knew I was gonna be there.
You should've let me know.
- And let you keep lying to me?
- Lyin' to you about what?
So you saw us out in public with a bunch of people around?
What am I supposed to do, treat her like shit?
She's my wife.
- Well, you didn't have to kill her with kindness.
- Look, can we get a bite to eat?
Can I come and get you?
- [sighs] For what?
- We should not be having this conversation over the phone.
- Well, what for? What good is seeing me gonna do?
- Look, let me just come by and get you.
We can talk about this, okay, like adults.
- [Rosa] So what's she down here for, anyway?
- She's, uh, [coughs] she's down here
to try to make it work out.
But we've been tryin' that for a while, so...
- You're never gonna leave her, are you?
- Takes forever to get into these things, darling,
and forever to get out.
- And I'm just supposed to wait around for that?
Do you have any idea how many men want to sleep with me,
drink with me, take me out?
- You know, let me tell you, baby.
You wouldn't even respect me if I were
to answer these questions you're asking.
I'd just be another bitch-ass clown.
You don't even like these men.
The reason you like me is because I'm a real man.
Real men do not sit around talking
about their fuckin' feelings.
Now it would be great if you were to give me some time
to try to figure this stuff out.
But if you don't,
I'll completely understand.
- I called you, because I can't leave you.
I just don't want to be that stupid girl who loves you
and in the end gets hurt.
I mean, you could be fucking her, and I would never know.
- You're right. I could be fuckin' her.
And you would never know.
And you could be fucking' somebody else,
and I hope you're not, but I'll never know,
and you'll never have to tell me, 'cause I'll never ask.
I don't want to hear any bad news.
Stop rushin', you're 24.
You need to focus on what you're tryin' to do
and be patient.
- I'm really trying not to put pressure on you.
I just can't help it.
- Yeah, you can.
Focus on your stuff, all right.
And hopefully, one day, we'll wake up.
We'll have known each other for 20 years.
- Kiss me.
[lively music]
- I wouldn't drop anybody, right now, man.
You don't need to be makin' any sudden moves.
Things are goin' good, right now.
You're on a roll.
I don't believe in droppin' anyone.
[pool balls clack]
Trust me, they doin' better gettin' half of your time
than they would be gettin' a nigger's full attention,
'cause who wants to be around a motherfucker
who can give you their full attention, really?
- Yeah, man, but I'm gonna have both these women call
and find out what about dinner, shit like that.
And I need to be thinkin' about other shit
besides havin' dinner with them, you know.
- You guys want anything to drink?
- No, darling, we good, at the moment. Thank you.
- But like I said,
I think you need all this confusion, man.
Maybe havin' all these girls, Ron,
helps you with your writing or somethin'.
I don't know.
[pool balls clack]
[gentle music]
- We should get that wine for us.
- Yeah? - Mm-hmm.
- It's good stuff. - Yeah.
- How do you feel?
- I feel fantastic.
I'm glad you came out, Kim.
- Yeah.
- And you've been great about everything.
Hopefully, I have, too.
- You have.
Maybe we're finally hitting that calm moment
where everything and everybody's in place.
- Very possible. [phone buzzing]
- We just need to keep being patient with each other,
look after each other, look after one another.
[phone buzzing]
- Yeah, I agree, completely.
[phone buzzing]
- Where ya goin'?
- Uh, just gonna go and smoke a cigarette.
- [Kim] Well, you can smoke in here. It's okay.
- I don't want to smoke in here, around you.
- It's okay.
You always rush up.
- I do?
- You do.
- Now you're just gonna sit back here,
because I asked you to.
- Oh no, no, I'm just not focused on it, a lot.
It's just, you know, when you tell me,
I'm here.
- Okay. [laughs]
- You worry all the time.
- No.
[Kim laughs]
[crickets chirping]
[phone ringing]
- Hey.
- [Ron] What's up?
- Well, I just, I hadn't heard from you,
and we had such a nice day I thought I'd call
and see where you are, how you're doing.
- I'm all right.
- Where are you?
Why can't you talk in a normal voice?
- Uh, no, actually, I got called in to do a set.
Uh, you know, there's a bunch of people around.
I'm just talkin' low.
- Tell me the truth.
- That's the truth.
You know, I just got off stage. I'm tired.
I'm at the club.
- Okay.
Well, you sound strange.
- Oh fuck.
Now I'm back at that dumb shit, huh?
I sound strange?
[water pattering]
[phone rings]
- You didn't have to call me back, Ron.
- See? Okay.
[lively dance music]
Now I wanted you to get a good night sleep, darling,
okay, so just relieve your pressure,
'cause now your mind is wandering.
You lost your mind now,
thinkin' I'm someplace I shouldn't be.
That's not what you should be thinkin' about.
You should be thinkin' about getting a good night's rest,
so you can get up and go to work, tomorrow.
- [Rosa] Uh-huh, sure, Ron.
- Hold on, hold on, baby.
Yo, Bill.
- Okay.
[crickets chirping]
[car horns honking]
[solemn piano music]
[knocks at door]
- [Ron] How you doing?
- Yeah, we gotta talk.
- Of course.
What's happening?
- I don't think we're gonna make it, Ron.
- What makes you say that?
- I followed you, today.
- What made you follow me?
- The phone calls, last night.
Who's the girl, Ron?
- She's just a friend.
She's a young girl. I met her after a show.
It's nothing serious.
- Sure looked serious, today.
You know, you could've told me from the start.
I've known for weeks you've been seeing this girl.
- How've you known for weeks?
- Word got back to Chicago.
Friends in town saw you holding' hands and kissing.
You know, you, you never know who's watching!
- And you're just now sayin' something.
- When you don't know what to do, don't do anything.
You could've told me, from the start,
even up to last night.
The truth, you know.
[birds squawking]
- That's the fucked up thing about this whole life, man.
People always want the truth.
Sometimes, the truth ain't good for you.
Look, the fact of the matter is,
I really don't want to hurt any feelings here.
- Well, you know what, I'm not into us moping around
with each other, so I'm just gonna get on a plane,
and I'm gonna leave.
- Look, even if I wanted you to go, you can't go,
because if you go, we're fucked.
Come on, sit down,
just talk to me for a second, please, baby, eh?
Just sit with me, for a second.
Baby, please.
Just for a second.
Please.
[birds squawking]
I've been pretty good to you, you know.
I do care about you.
I mean, these last few years
I've been out here doing the best I can for you.
I'm out here hustling, trying to do my thing, you know.
I mean, I do, I do shit I don't like.
You know I don't like goin' on vacation with your friends,
but I wanted you to be happy.
But you ain't been happy.
And I guess that got me mad.
I don't know what to do.
- I love you, Ron.
I really do, but you want to know what's hard on me?
[Kim chuckles]
When I first met you, I was very enamored
with the movies and the person and the life.
And I was that young girl, and Janice was your wife.
And you asked for me to wait for you, for your divorce,
and I waited for two years.
And then the drugs hit, and everything went to shit,
but I stayed.
And you became a better man for it.
But now I got a man who's happier bein' away from home.
- Look, Kim, I'm not interested in givin' up, okay?
But I gotta finish this tour.
I have to.
All right, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm not gonna be out, on the road,
doin' one of these things for another six months
or somethin' like that.
I'll only act every once in a while.
But I gotta finish this.
I mean, that was the whole point in me comin' out here,
to get a hit.
[Kim scoffs] That was it.
Let me finish this tour
and then we'll talk about what comes later.
- Your life's never gonna change, Ron.
You're the best guy. It's not your fault.
I love you.
A long time ago, I used to think
that you'd get some sort of award or medal
for staying together like 20 or 30 years.
But you know what I realized?
There are no awards.
There are no medals.
You just gotta live.
You just gotta keep on livin',
and you gotta think about the choices that you make.
- No, come on, baby, come on.
[Kim grunts]
Look, I, I believe in our future.
We just have to keep workin' through these things.
I mean, they're just challenges.
But in the meantime, please, stay with me.
Let me finish this tour.
Nothin' happens if I don't keep goin'.
It's gonna make my life really hard
if you're not with me on this one.
I mean, am I your husband or what?
- What about the girl, Ron?
- I'll leave her alone.
Darling, I've had so many losses in my life
that I can pretty much walk away from anything.
- She's young.
She'll fall in love again.
- How did I fall in love with a woman who's not impressed?
How the fuck do you do that?
You work all your life to make a name for yourself,
and the girl you fall
in love with ain't even impressed by that,
but you buildin' houses
and payin' for them to play tennis on Thursdays
with their girlfriends and all that shit.
And they don't even know that
that's actually killin' the reason
that they like you, anyway,
which is the saddest thing, man.
The reason that women fall in love with you is
because you're independent.
And the first thing they try to do is
to kill the independence based on the fact
that they ain't got nothin' to do with it.
That's the way life is, man.
That's what them blues songs is based on, man.
That's, that's what Sex Machine is based on.
Every melody the motherfucker ever wrote is based
on the fact that the girl that you with ain't really
that crazy about bein' with you.
But she can't live without you.
No, you got to focus on the pussy.
I'm focused on the pussy, okay. I'm focused now.
You know? [laughs]
Rather than just be a bitch that's lucky
to fuck a nigger like me.
[audience gasps]
I mean, I'm a nigger.
I need the motherfuckin' woman to luck out,
you know, rather than walk around the house all day,
mad and shit, tryin' to figure out whether
or not the paperwork was right.
[phone rings]
[audience groaning]
Hey, Bill, man.
- [Man] Get off the stage, man!
- I got to call you back. Nigger, answer your phone.
I'm talkin' to some people right now.
[audience muttering]
Man, I, I'm basically tryin' to get a jump
on bitches fuckin' leavin' me, man.
That's my whole thing, you know.
Let me just get a jump on this bitch.
[audience muttering]
[audience booing]
[audience chattering]
- Okay, welcome to the Funny Barn.
That was fuckin' awkward.
[audience laughs]
We'd like to thank you for paying your $5 cover
to join us for the Ron Waters assisted group suicide.
[audience laughs]
Seriously, [laughs] cyanide tablets are already
in your cups. [audience laughs]
Nike Cortezes are on you.
[audience laughs]
I'm just kiddin'.
We've got karaoke comin' up later,
if you guys want to stick around.
Personally, I have a fucking life,
so I don't think I will be.
But there is a happy hour.
We'll be a lot more happier than what we just saw.
- What the fuck are you doing?
- I'm leaving.
- Yeah, I see that.
You only did 20 minutes on a 45-minute set.
You're comin' up short, motherfucker.
And what's with the fuckin' phone call?
- Man, the life has been sucked out of that audience, okay,
by the other comedians.
They're not even laughing.
Ah, I'm not prepared to resuscitate these motherfuckers.
They gonna have me second-guessing my shit.
- What the fuck, man?
- Gene, just give us a second, I'm handlin' it.
- I don't have a second.
I got a mass exodus out the door, man.
What the fuck is up, Ron?
- Gene, we can take care of this now or later.
Just give me a second, please.
- This is fucked up, and you know it.
- You ever think you ought to be second-guessin' yourself?
- Why?
- You were a little harsh out there, tonight.
Niki Crawford's manager was just shuffling in his seat.
I had to talk him down, but I'm not sure
if it's gonna do any good.
What the fuck were you thinking?
- Look, man, I went out there.
I did the same thing I do every other night.
I told, I told my story.
Now at least, that's consistent.
That's gotta count for somethin' in this business.
- Ron, I don't care, either way, all right.
I know you, and you weren't yourself out there.
Now I had to convince a lot of people
to get you back in these places.
I don't want to know what it is,
and I don't want to talk about it,
because like I said, you got a shot,
and it may be your last.
Gene! [door thuds]
[birds twittering]
[phone rings]
- Hello.
- What's happening?
- Sterling?
- Yeah, man.
- [Ron] What's up?
- Take a ride up to my house.
I want to see you for a minute.
[engine revs]
[Sterling laughs]
You made it!
- Yeah, I'm here.
- Well, come on.
♪ Happiness
- So what's up?
- Why does this got to be about something?
Maybe I just want to see you outside of the nightclub,
tell you how much your friendship means to me.
- All right.
What you got goin' on here, man?
- The old lady's got some yogi shit goin' on.
Come on, let's go to the liquor room.
You want a drink?
- No, man.
- Well, I'm gonna have another.
You remember this room?
- Yeah, I do.
- This room has seen some days, man.
Yeah, when Richard and I were runnin' shit,
this is the kind of rooms we had.
We had spots like this
when these punks was still in diapers.
Now this industry is just fucked.
That's why I came and got you, Ron,
brought you back,
'cause you like a throwback,
'cause this is the way we used to do it.
And you remind me of the good times.
I tied it up with Niki Crawford.
I tied it up with her people.
We got the deal.
We goin' to the Cavalcade, baby!
Yeah! - My man!
[both laughing]
- It's just like the old days, huh?
- Hell yeah!
- But it's not like the old times,
'cause you not gonna fuck this up.
- Oh, Sterling, man, I can't hear this shit now, man.
You drunk!
- I am.
But I'm on.
You know I'm your boy.
You know I respect you, and because I respect you,
I kept a copy of this tape.
Ain't nobody got this.
You know, I just want you to realize,
this is the shit that fucked you up.
Marinade on that a while. [laughs]
[solemn music]
- Oh, ladies and gentlemen, they are hot tonight.
Thanks, boys, sounds great.
Any of you who follow standup comedy
will know my next guest.
He's been right out there on the edge, for years,
ladies and gentlemen, a warm welcome for Ron Waters.
Ron, come on out!
[upbeat jazz music]
Hey, man, welcome, come have a seat.
Ladies and gentlemen, Ron Waters.
Good to see you.
- Thank you for having me. - Have a seat.
You look sharp. Those are great glasses.
Who makes those?
- [sighs] Pucci made these, man.
- [Jerry] Oh, you mean Gucci.
- No, man, Pucci, that's, uh, before Gucci.
You wouldn't know about that, though.
That's, you know.
- Oh, Pucci, before Gucci,
but I wouldn't know about that.
[audience laughs]
All right, ladies and gentlemen, if you like 'em, Puccis.
All right, Ron, we all know you're doin' TV now.
You've got some movies comin' out.
You're hot. You're on a roll.
How are you, man?
- Yeah, man, I've been tryin' to, uh,
I, I, I called you, Jerry.
- Yeah, yeah, I got a message.
- No, man, I've been, I've been calling you, man.
You don't even answer your motherfuckin' phone.
What's up? - [laughs] Kinda busy, Ron.
I got a network show.
I still work the road.
I'm a little busy.
Besides, Ron, you join a very elite group.
There are a lot of great people I don't call back.
That's the kinda gal I am. [laughs]
- I'm not talkin' about them motherfuckers.
I'm not talkin' about them pussies, man.
Call me back, yo. - Hey, hey, hey.
- Call me back. - Network, network.
- Man, fuck the motherfuckin' network.
I'm talkin' about, man, how come
you didn't call me back? - Hey, we're not playing
the Apollo, here, Ron. - What the fuck is
that supposed to mean? - Have a seat, Ron.
Hey, take it easy. - No, I don't want to sit.
- Hey, let's go to commercial.
- I want you to call me back. - Yeah, commercial, guys.
We'll go to commercial. - [Man] All right, Ron, hey-
- Hey, get the fuck up off me, man!
I'm knockin' motherfuckers out tonight. You understand?
I'm shootin' motherfuckers. - Hey, Ron.
- Step off me, you motherfucker.
- Troy!
- [Ron] Jerry, what the, I mean, what-
- Ron, you're out of line.
- How am I out of line?
Jerry? - [Jerry] You're up.
You're swinging at people.
- Nigger, get the fuck away from me.
- [Jerry] Hey, hey! - Oh, you the nigger?
You got a nigger you send out
to do this shit, man. - Yeah, yeah.
- [Ron] Get the fuck up off of me, nigger.
Hey, Jerry, you gonna play me
like this? - Good night, Ron.
- Jerry, Jerry,
you're calling security? - Oh, yeah, yeah, we're good.
- [Ron] Hey, come on, Jerry, what the fuck?
Don't touch me, motherfucker! I'm tellin' ya.
- We back?
Okay, count me in.
[bright music]
[Jerry laughs]
Ladies and gentlemen, well, wasn't that funny?
I'd like to apologize to the folks watching at home.
I'd like to apologize to our studio audience.
I'd like to apologize to the network.
Charming, huh? [audience laughs]
Although, he did set a kind of a record.
He's the first guest, in the history of my show,
to be on twice in one night,
the first time and the last time.
You won't see Ron Waters here again.
That's too bad.
All right, ladies and gentlemen,
any of you go to the movies will know this next young lady,
a beautiful girl, beautiful, has three movies.
- Keep on drinkin'.
[women laugh]
What we drink I'm gonna pour on ya.
[women laugh]
- [Summer] As long as you lick it off.
- That's what I'm sayin'.
- Mm-hmm. - Whatever I don't finish.
- Hey, Ron, you okay, darlin'?
- Yeah, shit.
I'm gettin' out the squirt bottles, later.
[Summer laughs]
Be squirtin' Jack Daniels all over.
What are you lookin' at?
[women laugh]
- So this is how it's gonna happen.
You're dumping me in an alley.
- Rosa, I'm too old, at this point, to fall in love
and get happy-go-lucky about women.
- I can fix that.
You have to give us a chance, Ron.
- I want you to move on.
- But, Ron,
I'm in love with you.
I want to marry you.
- Baby, I've been so squeezed by this marriage shit,
I'm not normal about it.
Look, you can't expect a nigger like me to,
all of a sudden, just start jumpin' up and down,
huggin' and kissin' people.
You got to figure out somethin' else.
You don't want to marry a man like me,
a dude's not happy about marriage.
- Because you're with a woman who doesn't love you.
She's only with you for what you can do for her.
- It doesn't matter.
[siren wails]
[Rosa sniffs]
- My break's over.
I have to go back to work.
You ruined me, Ron.
We could've had everything.
I told you, I'd never been in love before,
never made love like this before,
teach me, take advantage of that.
And you did.
[heels clacking]
- Good afternoon, Mr. and Mrs. Waters,
welcome to the Cavalcade.
- Thank you.
Rosa, I've been reaching out for you.
Please call me when you get
this message, okay? [people chattering]
I need to talk to you, okay?
Please.
All right, baby. - But this year, okay,
'cause I'm excited to...
Ron, hey!
- Hey.
- How are you?
- I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm good.
Yeah, yeah. - Nice.
You're here. - You look beautiful.
- Thank you.
You goin' to sound check with us?
- I can.
I mean, you know, I want the whole experience, you know.
- Nice, how you feelin'?
You gonna warm 'em up for me?
- Yeah, yeah, I am.
I'm just, you know, gonna throw up,
get my breathin' right, and you know, and be all good.
But I'm gonna set the table for you, let you eat.
- You'll be fine.
- Okay. - I'm glad you're here.
- Me too, thank you.
- No, man, thank you. - I really appreciate it.
- See you soon, all right. - Yeah, yeah, I'll be there.
Yeah, cool.
My mellow, all right, all right.
[upbeat music]
- [Kim] How ya doing?
- I'm good.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
Just goin' over what I'm gonna say, tonight, gettin' ready.
- You are gonna knock 'em dead, tonight.
I know it. [laughs]
- Thank you, baby.
- And remember, I'll be watchin'.
♪ I ain't leavin'
♪ So, baby, I'm here
- Rosa, I've been callin' you.
I've been tryin' to reach you.
It's me. Ron.
Call me back.
- [Sterling] Yeah, when was the last time you saw his act?
- [Woman] Oh, it's been about a month.
- Really? - Yeah.
- Hey, where you goin', man?
[Ron laughs]
- Man, I'm comin' right back.
I gotta take care of something.
- Oh, Ron.
Are you really gonna do this?
- I'm comin' back, this time.
Trust me.
- Come on, how you gonna get where you're goin'?
You don't have a car.
- I have a driver.
- You'll be back?
- I'll be back.
- Oh, man.
He gets jittery before the show, you know.
- Mm-hmm.
[engine revving]
[locks clicking]
♪ A time you were beautiful
♪ Then you became
♪ You wished like some hopeless ♪
♪ Like a lost little girl
- I've been callin' you for a while.
- I turned my phone off.
- You're smoking now?
- I'm smoking now.
- Come on and get dressed and, uh, come with me.
- [Rosa] Does your wife know you're here?
- What?
- Does your wife know you're here?
- We've been together for 10 years.
Do you really think that she's thinkin'
about some shit like this?
Come on, let's go.
- [Rosa] For what?
- I want you to, come on.
- Ron, you just hurt me more than anyone ever has,
and you expect me to go with you.
- I also just left opening for Niki Crawford
to come and get you.
Come on, I got some really good seats.
I really want you to be there.
You've been so important to me.
I didn't want you to miss this. This is my big night.
Will you please come?
I'm gonna be touchin' people, tonight.
[Rosa laughs]
- You're gonna be touching people?
So now you're touching people?
You're physically touching people now, you motherfucker.
- Rosa.
Rosa.
Rosa, open up, baby.
♪ Then you become miserable
♪ And you just keep smoking
♪ You threw up
♪ Baby, you know it
♪ You could be right for everyone ♪
♪ Oh, the party was starting
♪ You had so much fun
♪ We went all out, pimpin'
♪ We're doin' a little scooch-skewing ♪
♪ It all comes
[door creaks]
[door clacks]
♪ Do like that, yeah, you do like that ♪
♪ I taught you how to do like that ♪
♪ Grow up, little girl
♪ It's just a nasty, nasty attitude ♪
[erratic electronic music]
♪ We can dance all night
[phone rings]
Hello.
- [Sterling] Where are you?
- I'm on my way back now.
♪ You a hater
♪ Don't talk to me
♪ You wanted the feelin' shit
♪ Don't start with me
♪ You made me go there, admit it ♪
♪ 'Cause I'll prove it
♪ To men, the Lord and Savior create ♪
♪ And it's spittin' that crack
♪ That has debt
♪ They suspect me spittin' like a mack ♪
♪ Heart attack's intact
♪ I'm DJ-in' that drama on
♪ You know the part we all stand and makin' like ♪
♪ We saw in my bitch long families ♪
♪ Beat y'all for a quick draw
♪ I'm gonna solicit you
♪ With the mic as my tool
♪ I'll run through that
♪ The principal that's runnin' this school ♪
♪ It's a cold world, got a rep
♪ And that's for publishing you, so sayin' ♪
♪ High-end tech
- Where the fuck are you?
- I'm right here.
- [Sterling] You ready?
- I'm ready.
- Let's go do this.
[gentle music]
♪ Get a real job
♪ Keep the wind at your back
♪ And the sun on your face
♪ All the immediate unknowns are better than knowin' ♪
♪ This tired and lonely fate
♪ Does he love you
- Who's excited?
[audience cheering]
♪ I guess it's spring
♪ I didn't know
♪ It's always 75
♪ You've nowhere to swim
- All right, hello, everyone.
I'm your man, Craig Thomas.
It's good to see you tonight.
Welcome to the Cavalcade of the stars.
You guys are in for a real treat,
because we have the soulful, the real music
of Ms. Niki J. Crawford!
[audience cheers]
♪ He's comin' out to California ♪
- Uh- - May I help you?
- Can I get a pack of lights?
- And wait, wait, wait.
Opening for her is a man who is definitely no less real
and no less soulful.
He's been doing his thing, a long time,
performing such places as the Comedy Club, the Improv,
tons of television shows, movies,
and he's making a major comeback.
[car thumps]
Mr. Sophistication himself, Ron Waters!
[audience cheers loudly] ♪ And he loves you
♪ Yeah, he loves you
♪ And you two, oh, you'll soon become free ♪
- Hello.
♪ And he loves you, even though you used to say ♪
♪ You were flawed if you weren't free ♪
[engine revs]
♪ You and I were almost dead
♪ And you're better off for leaving ♪
♪ Yeah, you're better off for leaving ♪
♪ Late at night, I get the phone ♪
♪ You're at the shop, sobbin' all alone ♪
♪ Your confessions were only made ♪
♪ When you thought your time was runnin' out ♪
- Fuck you, Ron Waters.
[audience applauds]
- Thank you.
Oh, man, today, I'm feelin', uh,
I'm all confused about life.
I'm way confused about shit,
because I had crazy shit happen to me again.
This morning, I was reading my emails, right, checkin' 'em.
And I got this one cousin in Philly, right.
He's a regular cat.
He works for the airport.
Always sends me lots of emails, like too many,
[audience laughs]
with all these jokes, you know,
so much so that you are thinkin',
where the fuck does a nigger get time like this?
[audience laughs]
[Ron laughs]
So he sends me one this morning that's based on like,
if you don't send this to 10 of your friends,
you gonna have bad luck.
[audience laughs]
So for, me that's like,
the most fucked up shit you could send
to somebody, right, 'cause now you have it
where you put some negative shit on a nigger's mind.
You know, plus, I'm supposed to send this
to some good friends, some real friends of mine?
Yeah, man, I just want to send him an email,
just wantin' to send him an email saying, look, man,
I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I don't mind you sending me jokes and shit.
But don't ever send me some shit
that I have to send to someone else
or my shit's not gonna turn out straight.
You know what I mean?
[audience applauds]
Come on, man, that's some bullshit, nigger.
You know, I mean, it makes me just like not want
to give my email out to motherfuckers, man.
And what's fucked up about it is I looked
at the email string, the people he sent it to.
Nigger sent it to all my boys.
[audience laughs]
So I got nobody I could send the shit to, nowhere.
[audience laughs]
[audience applauds]
[solemn music]
♪ Mm
♪ Yeah
♪ Tell me how can you treat me that way ♪
♪ Outside, you're happy
♪ Inside, you run away
♪ Why not just say it straight to my face ♪
♪ When it's obvious to me
♪ You don't feel the same way
♪ There's evil in your eyes
♪ That can't be found
♪ Always tellin' lies
♪ When I'm not around
♪ Deception is goin' down
♪ What goes around comes back around ♪
♪ When you keep it real
♪ It stands on its own two feet ♪
♪ But you're keepin' secrets
♪ That ain't how it's supposed to be ♪
♪ I'm on the outside, lookin' in at you ♪
♪ And I'm seein' all the things ♪
♪ You don't see is true, yeah
♪ There's evil in your eyes
♪ That can't be found
♪ Always tellin' lies when I'm not around ♪
♪ Deception is goin' down
♪ What goes around comes back around ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
♪ There's evil in your eyes that can't be found ♪
♪ Yeah
♪ Evil in your eyes that can't be found ♪
♪ Always tellin' lies when I'm not around ♪
♪ Deception is goin' down
♪ What goes around, comes back around ♪
♪ There's evil in your eyes that can't be found ♪
♪ Always tellin' lies when I'm not around ♪
♪ Deception is goin' down
♪ What goes around, comes back around ♪
♪ There's evil in your eyes that can't be found ♪
♪ Always tellin' lies when I'm not around ♪
♪ Deception, deception's goin' down ♪