[FIRE CRACKLING]
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[SIRENS]
[PHONE RINGING]
Thank you for calling MedTech Industries.
We cannot come to the phone right now.
Please leave a name--
Dunka hunka dunka hunka dunka, hunka dunka dunka.
Hunka dunka hunka dunka hunka and Schwartz.
[GRUNTING] Oh, welcome.
Come in, come in, come in, come in.
Smells good in here.
Yeah.
This is my world-famous goulash.
It's almost ready.
You hungry?
Oh, no.
Yeah, of course.
Sure, sure, sure.
Well--
I just want to get my package.
China white, right?
Yeah.
Have you ever done heroin before?
Yeah.
How much you want?
Uh, five grams.
Whoa.
That's a big party.
Or are you just gonna--
No, big party, big party.
Lots of people coming.
Lots of fun.
I see.
Well, let me see what I got.
[MUTTERING]
My neighbor I need some powdered sugar.
Yeah.
We're sorry.
Your call cannot be completed as dialed.
You don't say.
Please check the number and dial again.
You do say.
This is a recording.
OK, yeah.
Uh-huh.
Yep.
My guy says there was a big bust.
There's nothing on the streets.
The good news is, I've got a great drug for your party that
would be just excellent.
It's lysergic acid diethylamide.
It really-- it opens you up to a new way of thinking.
Well, for first timers, I like to see
a person have a good trip.
So why don't you just stay, and do a small dose,
and see how you like it?
What happens when your wife comes home,
and I'm tripping balls?
It's just me.
So what do you say?
A little goulash and some acid?
No.
How much you need?
Say, for 10 people?
No.
I need at least 20.
Ah, there.
Oh, wait!
Here.
Just bring back the container next time.
All right.
And don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
Goddamn bats.
[STRANGE BUZZING]
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
Peter.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[SIRENS]
[MACHINERY BEEPING]
Are you like a lawyer or something?
I'm your driver.
Hey, Pete.
He's talking to your dad right now.
He'll be with you in two, three minutes.
Can you have a seat?
He's here?
Pete, hey!
Shit.
Pete, no.
One sec.
Yeah.
Yeah, he just walked out.
So what do you have to say?
[TYPING]
[KNOCKS ON DESK]
All right, look.
I know I fucked up.
And I'm thinking a lot about it, and I want to fix it.
So the counselor came by at the hospital and gave me this.
I think it's exactly what I need.
And I'm willing to go as soon as Dad wants.
Rehab?
No.
Do you have any idea how much of a nightmare
that would be for the company?
So the plan-- your dad has hired a team of experts
to counsel you at your lake house.
At the lake house?
Yeah, kind of jealous.
I was there last weekend.
Beautiful.
Took Sophia for a spin.
No.
There's no way he'd let you do that.
But I digress.
Let me tell you about the team.
First, we have Greg Ranger, LA's life coach to the stars.
A life coach?
Are you serious?
He is the son of advertising legend Jeff Ranger and home
fitness pioneer Sheila Sunters, which
is how he got a start in the entertainment business.
So my idea is that I would make a videotape,
and then people could just watch it in their living room,
and you could work out at home.
I don't know.
Why wouldn't people go to the gym?
I'm telling you, this is going to be a gold mine.
Come on, Dad.
Just do it.
He actually got a producing credit on his mother's
first workout VHS set.
In addition to producing, he actually
starred alongside his mother sometimes.
Hi.
Welcome to Sheila Sunters VHS Workout Video Tape.
We're going to get you pumped.
That's my son.
This guy--
Almost there.
--is going to be my life coach?
All right, here we go.
That was 20 years ago.
As he got older, he got into personal training,
where he met a certain young starlet--
Do this.
--developed a relationship with her--
Oh, do that.
Mm, ah.
--and helped her choose a breakout role--
Do this.
--which bloomed into him becoming
one of the highest regarded life coaches in all of Los Angeles.
Woo!
Haha!
That's it!
There we go!
Let's kick it.
Over the past 10 years, he's counseled numerous stars
to success and actually released--
Yeah, yeah, I got it.
I got it.
All right.
Who else do you got?
Dr. Quinn Allen.
You know who she is?
Yeah, what?
She's like a guru or something?
Not quite.
Amongst numerous other accolades,
she's the youngest Harvard psychology professor
in the school's history.
She's also slated to host her own show on NBC in the fall.
And according to the foreword in her latest and greatest,
she talks about wanting to affect behavior
at a young age--
Brace face!
--and how, after taking things too far one time--
You know, you shouldn't do that.
Hand them over.
--a progressive guidance counselor
taught her the benefits of meditation,
which she now credits for her incredible focus.
Graduated high school at 14 and never looked back.
Your dad also hired a nurse.
And I guess he takes your dad's blood every week.
It has been arranged that everyone stay at your lake
house and work all weekend.
Oh, this weekend?
Yes.
You'll arrive Friday morning.
All transportation has been taken care of.
Everyone else will arrive in the afternoon.
You know, some people say when you pull a label off like that,
it's a sign of sexual frustration.
It is.
Oh.
Are you sure he's on the same flight as us?
Because I'd really love to get going.
Yeah.
If we're the only two in first class, let's just take off.
Can we just get back and get him?
Finally.
Why don't you send me your phone number?
I get you in contact with Sandy.
Hey, how you doing?
Does she actually have clout, though?
Good to meet you.
Sandy Craig?
Yes.
Room up there for one more?
She's the best PR in the business.
She's insane.
She's a rock star.
I mean, she's--
All right.
Well, I had--
Guys, how are you?
Great to meet you.
Really great to be here.
This last guy that I had, he was just like--
--one weekend.
--he didn't do anything.
No, Sandy's insane.
I mean, you would love her.
Acres of space back here.
She's the best.
Yeah.
OK.
No, it seems like--
it seems like a good idea.
It seems like it's time.
But-- Lets boogie. --here's my email.
Here's my email.
And just tell her to email that one.
Yeah.
Oh, this is nice.
No phone number?
No.
You-- forgive me, but you look really familiar.
You're that lady from TV, Quinn Alex.
Allen.
Allen, sorry.
Wow, that's pretty cool.
I I'm sorry, I didn't get your name.
Greg Ranger.
Pleasure to meet you, Greg.
I'm Kelly, by the way.
What do you do, uh, Greg?
I'm a life coach, yeah.
You should do research before you hop on a team assembly.
I was pretty busy.
It's good, though.
You know, like, birds do that.
They know each other before they migrate south.
I want to form a V with you.
That's not a bad idea.
It makes it difficult--
That's not that a bad idea.
--to do that.
But fine.
If I-- my life actually had a coach,
I think I'd be stuck on a bench.
You guys know each other before--
No.
--coming up?
We just met on the plane.
Kinda looked like you knew each other for a while.
You on the same flight on Monday?
No.
I've got an early taping in New York, so--
you?
No, I gotta go to Cannes.
Wow, that's nice.
Nah, it's for work.
I'm not into reading movies, you know?
Well, my work is changing bedpans
and wiping old ladies' rears, so good on you.
Are we almost there?
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Hey.
It's great to meet you.
I'm really looking forward--
Can you give me five minutes?
Oh, yeah.
Just to get set up, and then we can get to work.
OK.
Oh, great.
Is there an office somewhere that I can--
Oh, yeah.
Just down here.
Great.
See you in five.
Hey.
Is there a way to get this--
Oh, you're all good.
You just hit that button.
Got it?
Yeah--
Sweet.
Oh, nice.
Oh, there he is.
My man.
Man of the hour, Pistol Pete!
Mind if I call you that, Pistol Pete?
Is that cool?
It's cool.
It's the name of my great hero, Pete Sampras.
I can tell the two of you have more in common
than just the name.
Great.
That's--
Question, Pistol.
Are you ready to get firing?
Actually, um, I got to--
Dr. Allen said I'm supposed to go in with her.
Dr. Allen?
Oh, right.
Quinn, yeah.
That's try to keep it on a first-name basis this weekend.
You know what I mean?
We have to stay comfortable, right?
Comfortable, right?
Come on.
Come on!
Yeah.
All right, my man.
So I'm going to go pick a room upstairs.
Yeah, just upstairs.
Just toss this in one of those, I assume.
Yeah, yeah.
Presume?
Assume?
Presume?
Who gives a fuck, right?
Yeah.
All right.
So listen.
Yeah, you get in there with Quinn.
And then I'm going to catch you on the flip side.
Got a busy weekend ahead of us.
So we really got to push through.
You know what I mean?
And that's the thing I want to teach you this weekend,
is you got to show that little voice up
that's in the back of your head.
We're going to make it happen, you know?
Quick and efficient.
That's how I'd want to do it anyway.
Quick and efficient's better.
Even if they gave a whole year I'd want to do it in a weekend.
You don't need more than a weekend to fix yourself.
You know, a "give a mouse a cookie" kind of thing.
Give a guy an hour to do things, he's
going to take an hour and ten minutes.
Give him a minute, he's going to figure that out.
Nope, not a problem.
Not a problem.
I've always said life is kind of like a five set match,
you know?
And you know who came out on top?
Pistol Pete.
Oh yeah.
They didn't see it coming.
I'll just--
When the going gets tough, man, when it gets hard,
you got to ramp it up.
You got to shift gears.
You got to push through!
That's how we do this!
And if you can't do that, you are done for, my friend.
Hello.
Sorry.
I needed a quick refresh.
It was a long car ride.
I'm so happy to be here.
I--
Since we haven't been formally introduced,
I'm Dr. Quinn Allen.
Is it all right if I call you Pete?
Yeah.
Yeah, Pete's fine.
Is there another nickname you'd prefer?
No.
Greg started calling me Pistol.
But Pete's--
That's a great nickname for someone who's suicidal.
Oh, no, I'm not.
I was just--
I'm going to be working with you for the next few days
to really take a step back and look at yourself objectively.
Oh, that sounds great.
That book is going to be your roadmap to success.
You read it, correct?
Well, I didn't know I was supposed to.
What did you think you were supposed to do with it?
I--
How am I supposed to execute what
your father has paid me to do if you don't take this seriously?
I'm serious.
Good!
We have to work as a team.
Is that who I think it is?
Is that my man, Pistol?
Mr. Pistol in the house.
Got to read.
My turn.
Come on.
Reading is for fruit cups.
We're not a fruit cup.
Let's go do some real stuff.
Come on, Pistol.
Let's move.
Why are you here, Greg?
What?
Why are you here?
Pistol, bro.
Pistol.
Come on, dawg.
I want to be here, Pistol.
I drove a really far way to be here with you, to help you.
OK.
I mean, I left a lot of big stuff
back west to come here to help you, big-name people.
I don't want to name drop, but big people.
Let's just say this one particular client--
her games are no longer hungry.
You dig me?
She was a little negative, and I showed her the silver linings
of her playbook.
It's Jennifer Lawrence.
Yeah.
I know you like her, don't you, huh?
Come on, Pistol.
I love when you smile.
Let's do it!
All right, Pistol.
This is the drill.
I have an activity plan for each chapter of my audio advice.
I also have these waterproof noise-canceling headphones.
So we don't have to worry about getting wet.
Now, my philosophy is thus.
You don't have a single--
dude.
Come on, bro.
What?
I'm in the middle of explaining this to you,
and you're putting things in like that?
Oh.
I'm talking.
I didn't--
Pistol, come on.
Now, my philosophy, which you may have already figured out,
because I embody it, is that you need
to take advantage of every single second.
Every moment is precious.
And you got to play that thing out to the buzzer.
So while you're listening to my audio advice,
I'm going to be playing some Bach.
If we're going in the water, I got to get my life vest.
Pistol, I don't want to hear that negative talk, all right?
You're done having other people hold your head above water.
I know you're thinking.
Why Bach?
No, no. metaphors aside--
The reason I'm listening to Bach is that I too--
--I got to get my life vest if I'm going to get in the water.
--need to live by my mantra and take advantage
of every single second.
So while you are doing that, I'm going to listen to this dude,
and I'm going to go for a swim.
Swim?
No.
I'm not going to go for a swim.
I'll go on on the boat--
I hear he's pretty fucking decent.
--but I'm not going for a swim.
And I'm always down for trying something new, Pistol.
Always.
Come on.
Don't worry.
I'll be with you the whole way.
Oh, hey there.
Huh?
I'm Greg Ranger.
Yeah, I hear you.
And welcome to a new life.
This audio advice is going to get your life moving, which
is exactly what we want, because as my boy Isaac says,
a body in motion stays in motion.
And that dude was smart.
Just remember, throughout this whole experience,
you will never be alone.
I'll be here--
Where you at?
--vibrating your ear canals, talking you right through it.
Uh, talking you right through it.
It's good, right?
Yeah.
OK.
Let's get started.
First, I want you to take a deep breath.
[BREATHES] Yeah, just like that.
Nice and easy.
Second, take in your surroundings.
Look around.
What do you see?
Maybe a duck crossing through a lily pad.
And third, I want you to get ready--
Here we go!
--for the Ranger.
Progress!
Oh, daddy.
Well, that was surprising.
And that's life.
It's always surprising.
And it's always changing.
And we have to go with it.
So now that I've got your heart rate up, let's get--
[GASPS]
This isn't going to be easy.
Life that's a full-time job, and I'm here for you.
Just think of me as your shepherd,
and I will guide you to where the grass is greener.
You psyched?
God, I'm psyched, and I hope you are too.
Chapter one.
Life is like treading water fully clothed.
Oh god.
God, he's back.
No, no, no.
Stay down.
Those things will kill you, you know.
What?
Life coaches?
Yeah, sure.
Smoke?
No, probably shouldn't.
Suit yourself.
Thank you, by the way, for the mouth to mouth.
Yes.
Don't worry about it.
It's what I do.
Much appreciated.
So you're the nurse?
Yeah.
Yeah, I think your dad wanted somebody around
to keep you alive through the weekend.
Well, I mean, you did hire the world's most charismatic hit
man, so jury's out on that one still.
I will do my best to keep you around.
Oh, well, I'm glad someone is.
Your dad didn't seem like such a bad guy.
Just wait till he doesn't have a use for you.
For example, Mom was in rough shape.
And the doctors said that it was our call,
said that there wasn't much of a chance.
But you know, the machines would keep her going,
as long as we had hope, as long as we wanted to hold out.
But it took him just a couple moments to decide.
Ouch.
I just-- I wanted to be part of the decision.
But now I'm not a part of anything.
[SIGHS] I'm sorry.
I heard all that queued up for Dr. Allen.
Felt like I was ready just to come out.
It just didn't happen today, so--
and here I am, spewing my guts.
It's OK.
I don't even know your name.
Oh, Kelly.
Kelly.
Pete.
Pete, it's a pleasure.
That could've happened to anybody.
Yeah, but like, I--
I don't think that the approach, just throwing him in the water,
is the best way.
OK.
But I can make this work if some kind of mutual respect,
you know what I mean?
Yeah.
So if you're looking to--
Yeah.
--you know--
Yeah.
--do something with me--
OK, well, we agree that we can't let
this mishap weaken our stance.
Well, in essence, we're saying exactly the same thing.
Theoretically.
But practically, we could not be further apart.
Well, we agree we have to stay firm.
Yes.
But it's such a vague term.
[BURPS]
OK.
Why don't you tell me your little plan step by step,
and I'll see if it gels with my philosophy?
Don't patronize me.
I'm not.
I'm simply listening to your argument
and trying to strengthen the specificity of how
we're going to attack this, which is what you said,
remember?
You said that that was the problem.
You said that.
I need a drink.
[LAUGHS]
'93 DRC.
Don't mind if I do.
No.
No thanks.
I don't think you understand.
That's really cute.
You can't buy a bottle of this under $8,000.
This is the creme de la creme.
I don't care.
Can you please cut it out with this pissing contest bullshit?
Please?
OK?
Let me make one goddamn decision.
This is what we're having.
No, this is what we're having.
What the hell is that?
It's crap.
It's a cheap domestic.
They probably cook with that.
Full bodied, from California.
Musky aromas, fairly rough undertones,
with an explosive finish.
This is what I want to drink all weekend.
I'll get the corkscrew.
Hello?
Yeah.
Yeah, how are you?
Good.
No.
No, no, no.
I told you, that just a notice.
No.
Yeah, I know what it says, but it's not going to happen.
It's just bank stuff they're talking about.
I didn't say anything because I've got it taken care--
you know I don't like it when you call me that.
I'm working my ass--
I'm not going to let anything happen.
They can't even come in and take anything
until the first of the month.
Why don't you just trust me for something?
I'm looking at the papers right now.
I've got them right here.
Everything's perfectly in order.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
Oh.
I got to get back to work.
Hey.
Sorry.
I couldn't help but hearing the--
It's nothing.
Don't worry about it.
Nice.
Well, I just remembered that I left some stuff in the garage.
Do you smoke?
What kind of stuff?
Oh, just pot.
Just-- how fucked up do you think I am, man?
It's just--
Yeah, I don't know.
I mean, what about Quinn and Greg?
Oh.
No, they're not coming.
No, it's just you and me.
Cool kids, right?
I really don't know that it's working.
Yeah.
It's like not hot, right?
Used to way hotter.
You look pretty sweaty.
I perspire easily, so--
Hmm.
Is this a little warm for the, Gregster?
No.
Not at all.
It's just the walls, you know?
They're like more compressed than they are in LA.
I do this all the time with, uh--
Mm.
I hate name dropping.
It feels so gross, you know?
Mm.
Agreed.
When you're hanging out with the king of the world--
it's tempting.
It's DiCaprio
[LAUGHTER]
You say it like that.
It made me think that--
[COUGHS]
Sometimes I hear Greg Ranger--
sort of sounds like Hermie-onie--
Hermie-onie--
--Granger.
Greg Ranger, Hermione Granger.
Yeah, I guess so.
It's kind of like, if she was like a DJ, that
would be her last name.
What?
You know?
How do you mean?
You know what it would be like?
It would be like, all right, let's
welcome to the world's best DJ, [IMITATES RECORD SCRATCHING]
Hermione Greg Ranger in the house.
Wait, what's-- is she wearing squishy shoes?
Where she goes, squish, squish, squish.
Those are records.
You should know that, old man.
Come on.
Get it together.
Yeah it was like--
[WEIRD BREATHING] something like that.
I don't know what that is.
Here, [CHUCKLING] it'll make more sense in a minute.
My kids love Harry Potter.
That's-- What's it like to have kids?
They're actually not my kids, they're
my wife's from her last husband.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, but they feel like it's your kids?
No.
No?
No, I just say that.
I say my kids so I don't have to explain it to everybody.
Yeah.
The oldest one hates me, I swear to God.
I think he's trying to poison me.
What?
Evidently, his grandma was turning him on to some Murder,
She Wrote.
Next morning the kid brings me tea for breakfast.
Oh, that's not good.
I don't drink tea.
[CHUCKLING] I know you don't.
That's not good.
The crazy thing?
I drink it every morning.
That's some dark shit, my man.
What was it like when you almost died today?
It wasn't too bad, it was pretty chill, actually, you know.
I think dying gets a bad rap.
It was like a--
it was like having a good sleep.
Pretty good.
That's great.
Yeah, I guess it is.
Let's be stealth here.
Shh.
I'm trying to be quiet.
You're like a freaking Clydesdale back there.
You being stealth or what?
[CHUCKLING] I'm too high.
[CHATTER]
Hey, guys.
How are you doing?
Just working out, doing cardio, getting electrolytes.
Great, good talk.
I'll see you guys tomorrow, yeah?
Have a good night, Pistol, tomorrow morning.
You don't hit that snooze, right?
Metaphor for life, my man.
Don't snooze.
[LAUGHING]
[ALARM]
[MUSIC - HIGH ENDS, DOWNTOWN]
[SIGH]
Just a second while I fix my whole life.
Oh, hello Quinn.
How are you today?
I'm good.
(SINGING) Nice to meet you, I really hope to know your mind.
What an awkward day, am I an alien or are people just
really unkind?
Here comes, radio through my door.
I should really be downtown.
Here comes a lion with her silent roar,
I should really go downtown.
I'm simple as--
[SMASHING]
Wow, you're early.
You look different.
Yeah, it's from high school.
I guess I've grown a little bit, but--
What's that?
I dropped one of dad's models.
Why don't you sit down?
OK, look.
I've got to come clean.
I didn't--
You didn't read my book.
No, no, I didn't drop the model.
I fucked it up, and it felt pretty good.
Don't change the topic.
I didn't, I brought up the topic.
That you didn't read my book.
No, the car.
Well, did you read the book?
Jesus Christ, I didn't read your book.
OK, stop asking that question.
I just-- I even, I went and smoked to try to focus.
And it just, it didn't--
What exactly did you smoke?
Just pot.
Relax.
Do you want to go do your little reset thing in the corner?
Get out.
Can we talk this through?
Is that--
I don't know, did you read my book?
[MUSIC PLAYING]
What is the point of you being here if I'm reading
this goddamn book all weekend?
Get out.
Is that him?
Mr. Michael Phelps?
Come on, brother.
Let's do it.
Go away, Greg.
I'm reading.
Come on, brother.
We talked about this.
Greg, go away.
Pistol, your tone right now, it's not
really jiving with how I work.
Yeah, well when you take that grievance
and shove it up your ass, OK?
Because I need to focus right now.
So I can't have you all up in here.
Watch your tongue, boy.
There's a line, and you're starting to cross it.
Or what?
You're not going to grace me with your audio knowledge?
Tell me, what what's the whimsical simile
of the title of chapter two?
You want to know, because tell you.
Let me guess, let me guess.
It's helpful.
Life is like-- what?
Running til you puke.
you're upset, I understand.
Run until you puke.
You're upset.
OK, here's what it is.
It's, life is like--
Pistol--
Getting trapped in a tanning bed, because I've seen
you've taken that to heart.
This is good for you.
That's really something that you've run with.
Lets put something in the sack.
Oh, oh, life is like sticking your head in a beehive.
Yeah, that sounds like something that
would spew out of your mouth.
You know why?
Because you've gotta get stung before you
get the sweetness of life.
No?
Any of those?
None of those.
None of those?
Not a single one, no.
That's great, so I just gave you--
I've got way more than that.
--a bunch of inspiration for the next piece of shit--
I make sense when I talk.
Pistol, I fix things--
--that yo're going to put out and call helpful I
I swear to God, I will break something right now.
So here's what we're going to do.
You're going to go up, and you're
going to run on your little fucking hamster wheel,
and use that big baritone voice of yours--
Namaste.
Record--
Namaste, Greg.
--the next best seller.
And what I'm going to do is I'm going to take this book,
and I'm going to read it.
OK?
All right.
OK.
That's good.
Good talk?
Mother-- I swear.
I swear, can you talk to that little punk?
Because I swear to God, I didn't go
to Krav Maga for three years.
Not to to kick some ass!
I'll take care of this.
Kelly!
You, come here.
I was trying to read.
Are you kidding?
Oh.
Kelly!
What am I supposed to be doing?
Kelly?
What's up, team?
I'm putting Pete downstairs until Greg
and I figure out what to do with him.
So what am I supposed to do?
Stay down with him, don't let him leave, and make
sure he doesn't get high.
Why would you tell them about you getting high?
It was just pot, I saw six empty wine bottles from last night.
I didn't think it would be such a big deal.
You didn't say anything about--
No, I didn't.
Hey, you want to play pool?
No, I don't really play.
You don't play?
What do you mean?
You've got a pool table right here in your basement.
Come on, I'll kick your ass.
All right, OK.
Rack them up.
This is what we're going to do.
I'm going to work him until he pukes.
I understand why you want to do that--
He needs to fall in love with the pain of hard labor.
--I just don't think it's going to work on him.
That's what he needs.
I think he needs to sit in the corner for three hours--
What the hell is he going to learn from a corner?
He's a type C personality.
All types bleed, every single one of them.
This is what I'm talking about.
You can't just discredit a generation--
Sh.
Oh, don't shush me.
Nobody shushes me.
You don't stop talking.
I can't even get a word in.
It's not a conversation.
It's not-- I'm literally just getting talked at.
So what I don't understand is if something
works 100% of the time--
100%-- That may have worked on your clients,
but this is a different situation.
Why won't you let me just show you how it works?
This is a different situation.
Well, we have to do something.
I don't know why I thought I was good at this game.
[GROANING]
That is a mystery.
That's 10 in a row, just stop the bleeding already.
You want to quit?
That was fun, I enjoy winning every time.
[GROANING]
[CHUCKLING]
I hope they're not as angry as they sound.
Trust me, they're in a much better mood than you think.
I hope so.
Yesterday they were in good mood, and I almost died.
I do feel bad he almost died.
Yes, that would have been a mess if he
had kicked it on the first day.
What kind of kid doesn't have the ability to swim?
He owns a lake house.
That's not on me.
It's such a loaded question, I don't have time to get into it.
It's more of a rhetorical question.
What chakra is this, because I'm really feeling it.
I guess I was just really read.
I don't like-- really red, really sweaty, here--
kind of whistling, like wheezing kind of thing.
That's really creepy.
You were just sitting there naked in the corner?
Yeah, yeah.
And poor Martha.
Who's Martha?
She's been our cleaning lady forever,
and she is the sweetest person I know.
[CHUCKLING]
I can't imagine.
It I just felt so bad, because I guess
when I was doing that, it reminded her
of this terrifying urban legend that she'd got told as a child.
This guy who kills children at night,
so it really shook her up.
She thought you were coming for her?
Yeah.
That had to shake her up, can you imagine?
Thank God it was just LSD.
What do you mean?
Because you can't die from an overdose of LSD.
You might mess your head up, but--
Right, yeah.
Good thing.
You didn't know that, did you?
Yeah, yeah.
I just got confused with--
Right.
I just uh-- -- remembering all the horrific losses you had
here.
[CHUCKLING]
I'm thinking about Martha looking at you naked.
Oh my goodness.
I bet you she's thinking about that too, you know what I mean?
Oh, we can figure something out.
Agreed.
If we stay up here much longer they
may think something's going on with us.
No, they won't.
They don't have a clue.
What makes you say that?
I saw the in the kitchen last night, and they saw me.
When?
Remember when I cramped and had to go replenish?
Ooh, that must've been 2 AM.
I them him I was doing cardio, they totally bought it.
[CHUCKLING] I don't do cardio.
Did Kelly seem off at all?
He was just a little more quiet than usual.
Don't worry about it, they don't have a clue.
Elaborate, please.
Stop being so vague.
OK, let's see.
Small bead of perspiration was forming above my right eyebrow
and the light from the fridge was hitting thy leg.
Stop.
This is serious.
Is there anything else of use you can tell me?
I don't know.
OK.
They looked like two deer in the headlights.
That's it.
You come back, you can recycle, you come back again.
Reincarnation.
Oh, all right, well, OK, so if that's what you believe in.
Yeah.
What you come back as?
I come back as a bald eagle, can't you see it?
Well, that's quick.
Gives me a chance to shit on everyone.
Can I see you two, please?
The verdict's in.
She said please.
So first of all, I think you owe Greg a big apology.
Yeah, yeah I probably do.
Where is he?
Upstairs in his room.
Roger that.
Actually, can I talk to you for a second?
Sure.
It's a little bit sensitive, maybe we could talk in here?
OK.
Great.
This is a weird little room.
Take a seat.
OK.
What's up?
So I wanted to speak with you as a fellow medical practitioner
and get your advice.
OK.
Lately I've been having really overwhelming anxiety,
and I was wondering what you think I should treat it with?
[LAUGHING] Let's touch, come on, bring it in.
We don't--
Come on, meet me the middle I can't stay mad at you, Pistol.
Oh, I like you too much.
Yes, oh God, it feels good.
I hate that, you know, on the shoulders.
I'm glad this worked out.
Yeah, yeah, me too.
Feels like we should celebrate or something, you know?
What
Sort of thing were you thinking?
Something to really let go.
To just like get me out of my head.
Meditation, maybe?
I tried that.
I don't know, I feel like it's kind of like a peace pipe
moment or something.
I don't know, peace pipe?
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't care.
I'm down if you are.
What do you mean?
Do you smoke pot, Kelly?
No.
Maybe a little bit of that ,uh, sheeba you and Kelly smoked
last night.
No, yeah, that was me.
It was?
And I finished it, so--
You and him?
No, just by myself.
Oh yeah?
Yeah.
Truthfully, my wife doesn't let me do anything.
She's pretty much just sucked the life out of me.
Between you and me, I lay there at night,
I just think, what if I--
Oh no, sorry, I just really want to hear,
but I really have to go to the bathroom.
Can we put this on hold for just a second?
Yeah.
OK.
Let me, you know, let me run the final credits, OK?
Yeah.
I close the curtain.
Do we have to--
Let me show you something.
You loose?
Huh?
No, I'm not.
No.
Loosen up, you open?
I'm open.
Is the door open?
Progress.
You feel that?
Yeah, I felt it.
Sh, listen, listen.
I can feel you being resistant.
Yeah.
It's aggravating me, it's throwing off my progress.
Hi.
Oh, there she is.
We're just patching some things up, On the ol' trouble train.
[CHUCKLING] Mm-hmm.
How's things going on there?
Not great.
Kelly just admitted to getting high with you last night.
What?
And he has to go.
I can' believe he would do that to you, Pete.
It's to be expected.
It's awful, makes sense though.
Pure sabotage.
Knew you wouldn't do that on your own accord, bud.
I cannot believe you two.
Kelly, I didn't say anything.
Don't believe a word they say.
Enough.
Pete, everything's going to be fine.
Just give us a second to figure this out.
I'll be out here.
So Pete was just telling us about--
Let's just stop the games, OK?
What do you want to know?
Well, my colleague and I think perhaps
you maybe procured some--
Did you smoke pot with Pete?
Yes.
Anything else?
No, that's pretty much the whole thing.
We're good at this.
You do realize we're going to have to report this?
Report it?
Yeah, you're going to have to pack up your bags early, bud.
No.
No?
No.
What do you mean no?
I think it's pretty clear.
No.
Yeah, I don't think you have a whole lot to say in this.
I know you don't have a lot of say in this.
You're going home.
Nope.
Let's go to my office, make the call.
If you make the call, then I'm going
to have to make a call of my own.
Look, I was going to tell them myself
about the swimming thing.
The Ranger Tough program is extremely rigorous,
and Peter has a fragile frame, his father knows that.
It's not about you practically killing him the first day.
I'm referring to the fact that the two of you
have been going at it like rabbits since we got here.
Rabbits?
Sex.
Oh.
No, no, that's, no.
That didn't happen.
At all, prove it.
Sorry.
OK, look.
No calls need to be made.
Let's just keep this between us three professionals
and get through the next day as painless as possible.
All right?
Agreed.
Great.
No more lighting the menorah, shalom?
Sleep tight, you two.
I'm ready to go to war.
No, it's OK.
Everything's fine.
Really?
Just go to bed, I'll see you in the morning.
Hi, I'm sorry to bother you so late.
I know it's extremely late.
I felt that I needed to call.
I just thought it was my duty to call and report
a major ethical infraction.
[PHONE VIBRATING]
Hello?
Hi, I'm just calling to inform you
that due to a breach in the business
ethics code of your contract, your services--
Dad?
Pete?
Dad?
Is that you?
Whoops, sorry, wrong number.
Hello?
Kelly?
Yeah?
OK, great.
I'm just calling to inform you that due to a breach
in the business ethics code of contract,
your services will no longer be needed.
You know what, whatever.
You know what, this was a sinking ship from the start,
and we both know what that means for the captain.
Anyway, when did you get me out here?
Well, you'll have to find your own flights now
that the contract is void.
[PHONE TONE]
Hello?
Hey, this is the Gregster.
I'm so glad you're up, awesome.
Listen, I need to get on the earliest flight
out here tomorrow.
Change of plans.
What did he tell you?
Well, that I am not at liberty to discuss.
But it will remain confidential?
Yeah, yeah, of course.
Will I still get paid for the first two days?
No.
I really need this money.
Is there anything that I can do?
Unfortunately not.
Safe travels, and have a good night.
[OMINOUS MUSIC]
To getting fired.
In the name of love.
Oh, a little respect please.
For the wine, I mean.
It's expensive.
I mean, it's cool, it's fine.
Saw a few more bottles downstairs.
Saw a lot of bottles downstairs.
Hmm.
You know, you should come out west.
You'd love it.
You'd kill it out there.
I do sometimes for work.
I don't mean for work, I mean come hang out with me.
What, for the weekend or something?
No, as long as you want.
I don't know.
Maybe.
Or I could come to New York.
I mean, it could happen.
That'd be nice.
Great, I'll change my flight.
[LAUGHING] What?
Hi, yes, it's Greg.
Can I change my flight?
Yes, again.
Well uh, to New York this time.
Early in the morning, and--
hold on one second.
What seat are you, I actually can get us
right next to each other.
Stop!
No, stop!
This guy's incredible.
Stop!
What?
Please, can we just pump the brakes for a second?
We can talk about this maybe in the spring?
I need to, like--
Spring?
--think about it.
I'm sorry, hold on.
The spring--
You can't just change your flight.
That's forever.
This is a passionate affair.
This isn't Lasik.
It's time to go to war.
Can you hear him?
He's crazy right?
Did I say fertile?
Hello?
Hi.
The connection's really in and out here,
I think you're saying aisle.
But what is your seat preference?
Window.
If we do it, I'm just saying, argument's not over.
Neither!
Ugh.
Send him to Kathmandu!
What I wanted to ask, was--
this is tough.
Will you just stop fooling around with that thing,
put it down?
And just tell me your plan.
I was thinking I could shoot you,
then turned the gun on myself.
Please tell me that's not your plan.
We could switch it around, you could be the shooter.
Great, just when I thought it wasn't going to work.
You flip it, and then it makes perfect sense.
I'm so stupid.
I don't know why I every thought it--
It's not stupid.
I think this is a big decision, I
think we need to-- this is a little rash.
It's not rash!
It's not an impulse, Pete.
I have researched this plan for longer than anything
I can remember.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
I had a birthday last week.
Happy belated.
Thank you.
I went out onto the Facebook to respond to all those bullshit
messages that you get on your birthday.
You know what happened?
No messages.
No, there were plenty of messages.
People I don't even know.
But there were these two ads.
Two ads, there's one about a book,
the tallest bridges in the world.
And the second one was about where
to get a straight razor shave.
Don't you see?
My computer knew me, my intentions, my interests.
It's the only thing that's ever really understood me
as long as I can remember.
And then this weekend came up, it
was a pile of money, a glimmer of hope.
I thought maybe if I don't lose the house, my wife will stay.
Maybe those kids will like me someday, after puberty.
Maybe it's just the tension of this whole foreclosure that's
sending me down this wrong path.
And then it hits me.
This weekend is about meeting you, making a friend
and finding a companion that can go with me on this next step
in our journey.
Let's make a fresh start.
Please.
I wish I knew what to say.
Could the fresh start to happen without this?
I have enough pills for both of us.
No, none of that.
You don't want to go with me.
Would you be up for talking to someone?
Someone who knows what they're doing.
What do you say?
Maybe we can work this out?
Go get her.
[GUNSHOT]
[MUSIC - HALF MOON RUN, "FIRE ESCAPE"]
Hey, would you let me get a sip of that?
Yeah, go ahead.
How long is this fucking driveway?
(SINGING) Hey dark eyes, rest with me
a while as I drift closer to sleep.
But still cannot, still cannot find no peace.
And you let go of glass, at our feet.
It rained through the night.
And you take the fire, escape.
Run down the street to the church.
Hey, murderer, the killing keeps us close enough.
Hey murderer, every breath you steal
is a breath that I breathe for you.
Let go of glass, at our feet.
it rained through the night.
You let go of glass, at our feet.
It rained through the night, and you take the fire, escape run
down the street to the church.
Oh, hey.
Couldn't sleep?
Oh, ready to leave.
Fair enough.
Morning.
Hey, making breakfast.
You want some?
Yeah.
Thank you, I'm starving.
Coffee?
Tea.
Could you hand me the eggs?
So were you just outside running all night?
Pretty much, yeah.
Pretty amazing.
I don't understand how you could so something like that.
[KETTLE WHISTLING]
[CRYING] Oh--
There's more.
There's more where they came from.
Here you go, see?
I'm fine.
Who wants toast?
No matter what life throws at you.
And I think that's something that's
really going to come back and help me out in the long run.
What do you think, Greg?
I think that's great, Pete.
Why don't you get me some milk?
There's not a whole lot of this left, Pistol.
That's OK, I'd rather have a bit than none at all.
OK.
You think he's going to eat?
[DING] Was that a suitcase?
You OK?
You know it helped me last night?
This.
Guilt only functions as a tool to pick scabs.
You read my book.
So I guess the question I've got for you,
is are you a scab picker?
Excuse me?
Are you a dirty little scab picker?
Yeah.
OK, so what's your plan?
This is happening whether you like it or not,
you little bitch.
All right, so you better fucking smarten up.
So that's a little creepier than I thought, but it's just
[SIGH].
[CAR ENGINE]
[CAR STARTING]
[MUSIC - CHRIS TABET, "LAY ME DOWN"]
(SINGING) From that dream, eyes awakened
through the dark the day slowly breaking.
Climbing light Is scattered with the words I wish to moan.
My hands are cold.
My heart is aching.
So lay me down--
Good morning, you can just sit anywhere.
But just so you know, we're closing real quick.
Oh, it's fine.
I already know what I want.
Could I do an egg white omelette with tomato, spinach, peppers--
Y'all ain't from around here, are you?
No, no we're not.
No, just visiting.
Oh, visiting, that's great.
I could ask Corey to whip up or visitor's special,
and make sure that--
That sounds amazing.
Let's do that.
Great, that just made my life so much easier.
OK, Corey did you hear that?
Gravy, and your waffle.
Wow.
What are you two getting into?
Excuse me?
What plans do you have for your stay here?
Oh.
You should take her out fishing.
No fishing.
Marv.
Take her peach picking.
Marv, doesn't Carl still have those tanks?
You say tanks?
Yep, you can drive them over cars and junk.
Yeah.
Yeah, let's-- can we do that?
Is there a number I can call or?
Nope, but you'll be in church.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Good morning, everybody.
Good morning.
What a beautiful day it is.
Are you supposed God bless you, back?
I don't think they mind.
Yeah, it's so nice here, right?
It's really nice.
Hey, sorry.
Yeah, hey.
How you doing?
All good?
Yeah.
Peace be with you.
Yeah.
Peace be with you.
Peace be with me, yeah.
Sorry, my uncle said that you wanted to talk with me?
Are you the tank man?
You want crush something?
Yes, I do.
All right.
Yes.
I like his enthusiasm.
OK yeah, let's do it.
Let's get to it, all right.
[MUSIC - THE SHEEPDOGS, BAD LIEUTENANT]
Why don't you all give me a minute.
I just want to change out my church clothes.
Get to crushing.
[MUSIC - THE SHEEPDOGS, BAD LIEUTENANT]
(SINGING) I'm a bad, bad man, don't you understand?
I'm a bad, bad man, best you turn and ran.
Whoa.
All my life I've been kicked around.
Nobody breaks me, they can't keep me down.
I'm a bad, bad man.
I'm a bad man.
And I pour your misfortune and hold it in your hand.
Sorry.
I don't feel pain right now.
I really don't.
That look like it hurt son?
Oh, no, no, no.
How was the ride?
What you think?
It was-- Yeah.
You see that right there?
Nothing makes me happier than a speechless customer.
I find that after people's first time
they tend to enjoy a cold one.
Oh, yeah.
Not me, I prefer them warm.
You can drink it faster.
All right, OK.
Oh, tank man, we must've been soulmates in another life,
because this is such a beautiful thing.
It really was.
I really appreciate it.
My name is Carl.
It's Carl.
I know, it's Carl.
And secondly, the Lord only gives you one go.
I love that.
That's great isn't it?
Damn, she likes to drink?
Oh.
The drum beats on.
OK, I guess we're leaving.
Thanks my man.
Adios.
Thank you.
We should've probably put the top up.
Truthfully.
I like it.
Huh?
I like it.
Oh, it's beautiful.
It's really nice.
I love it.
My hair is all over the place.
I was complaining about not going in the lake,
this is my version.
This is it.
Oh, my God.
I couldn't sleep.
Yeah, well, this thing is pretty good, actually.
You don't think it's bullshit?
Don't you dare question Quinn Allen.
She's one of the smartest, if not the smartest person I know.
Read me something.
OK, how about this.
One of my best ways-- it's so weird reading this to you.
I don't know why, but--
one of my favorite ways to relax is
to sit in crosslegged pattern for three days.
Three days?
You should've see--
You're crazy, woman.
Hi.
Oh, man.
Believe it, I'm hungry again.
Me too.
Want to grab some food?
Yeah.
Call a driver so we can get fucked up.
All right, OK Yeah.
Hey, could you come pick me up?
Just as soon as you can get here.
Oh hey, could you get some flowers?
I'm not sure.
Is it the biggest and prettiest?
Awesome, thank you.
All right, come on Greg.
Come on Greg.
Come on, Dougie.
Get some work done.
Get some work done, yeah baby.
Salamat po!
Greg Ranger is in my car!
Thank you, Dougie.
Let's go baby.
Yeah, go get some.
Yeah.
[CAR HONK]
Greg?
Quinn.
You're back?
I've been looking for you.
How did you know I was here?
I'll save that one for our grandkids.
Excuse me?
No.
Yes.
No.
Yes.
Pistol, nice, I'm so glad you're here for this.
Quinn.
I already said no.
Just let me say this.
OK?
Quinn, where do I start?
Oh shoot, sorry, just forgot this one thing.
Real quick.
Start with the music, right?
[MUSIC PLAYING] Quinn, where do I start?
Jesus.
Pistol what's with the Wi-Fi here dude, it's killing me.
What, you're streaming the music?
Can you restart it, please?
I don't think you've thought this through.
Dude, just, all right, fuck it.
Just hold this.
Fuck it, I don't need it.
Quinn, where do I start.
A confession I guess.
I have always had this gnawing self-perception, an idea
that made me hate myself.
An assumption that no matter the person
or whatever the situation, I could never sacrifice myself
for someone else.
Before last night I knew I liked you.
I liked your fight.
I liked you strong sense of self.
I liked the way we, you know, have sex.
We have sex.
But it wasn't until last night, last night when
every fiber of my body told me without hesitation
to take a bullet for you that I realized, I love you.
All this confusion.
All this infatuation.
Everything in my head is spinning over and over.
You make me a person.
I'm sorry this is all too much.
I know, no I know.
I realized that when I tried to move into your apartment.
We've known each other for two days.
It would be madness for you would
want to commit your life to me.
It's crazy.
It's nuts, but last night I ran until my feet were raw.
I mean, I was just trying to figure this thing all out
and it wasn't until Pistol said something.
Until Pistol said something this morning
that made me think everything was crystal clear.
Quinn, I'd rather have a little bit than nothing at all.
What?
What I want this ring to symbolize--
what I want this--
Pistol, Pistol, give me the fucking--
Get your head in the game, wake up.
What I want this ring to symbolize
is that I'm ready to commit my life to you.
And I'm willing to take anything that you're
going to give to me.
Because I'd rather have a little bit than nothing at all.
So tonight, Quinn, I'm going to start small.
Will you be my fiancÃ©e for a night?
Just for a night?
Let me spend the rest of my life convincing you, hour by hour,
minute by minute, second by second, that, baby--
baby, we belong together, you and me.
OK.
Yes!
Whoo!
That's what I'm talking about!
Best man written all over this guy!
Am I right?
[KISSES]
[LAUGHS]
Come on, hurry up.
We gotta go get Doug, he's in the car.
Um, who's Doug?
Douggie?
Oh, dude, you're gonna love this guy.
He's fucking hysterical.
He cracks me up.
It's sick.
Oh my god, I love this sweater.
It's a great sweater.
[LAUGHS] Whoo!
[MUSIC - YUKON BLONDE, "BRIDES SONG"]
(SINGING) Enough of me, I'm into you.
And we've been talking all night.
My lips are sealed, I said a ton--
Yeah, I'm sorry, sir.
There's nothing available until 6:00 AM.
Would you like me to book it?
[MUSIC - YUKON BLONDE, "BRIDES SONG"]
Ah, just pour me something strong.
Well, we just did last call.
[MUSIC - YUKON BLONDE, "BRIDES SONG"]
(SINGING) The coffee's cold, the silver's old.
Sir?
I think your flight is boarding.
[MUSIC - YUKON BLONDE, "BRIDES SONG"]
(SINGING) You stare at me.
You say a ton, but the words don't fit right.
You oughta know that we'd wait out in the sun, darling.
[LAUGHS] Hey.
Where's my goddamn Tupperware?
[LAUGHS] Hey, come on in.
I got some goulash on the stove.
All right.
[MUSIC - YUKON BLONDE, "BRIDES SONG"]
(SINGING) Into the dark we will go.
Your cold green eyes are giving me nothing.
I can chew.
And you can scream your heart out 'cause
it's everything you do.
Girl, you know you do it too.
You oughta know that we'd wait out in the sun, darling.
Oh, you got a heart that couldn't waste anymore.
You oughta know that you are so cold.
Into the dark we will go.
[FIRE CRACKLING]