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I couldn't.
You have to, Jerry.
The best revenge is revenge.
I mean come on, she cheated on you first, right?
So I have to cheat on her?
You know what she's gonna think if you don't?
No, why?
She's gonna mistake kindness for weakness, all right?
You'll be sending the wrong message.
That it's all right to fuck around without consequences.
This will even the score.
A healthy relationship is an equal relationship.
I don't know, who am I gonna cheat with, Mort?
Don't look at me, guys.
You're on the list.
Jerry, you're a good guy and you're a great husband.
- You think so? - I know so
and that is why I have the perfect thing for you.
Tonight, I'm getting you the Special, my friend.
- No, Mike, no, no. - Oh yes, man.
You're getting the Special.
I'm not going to some massage parlor whorehouse
for a $5 happy ending I could do myself for free.
Gross, please.
Trust me.
It is not what you think.
Before we go, I'm gonna need you
to put this bag over your head.
- Are you kidding me? - Do I look like I'm kidding?
Put that on your head or you can forget it.
Why?
Because I know you well enough and after
you have what you're about to have,
you're gonna go back there every single night
until you're broke and even that won't be enough.
So consider this a preventative measure.
Really?
Yeah, really, just put the bag on, come on.
Okay, okay, fine.
Yeah.
Dick.
You're gonna love it, man.
You look good.
Am I gonna suffocate in here?
- Can you breathe now? - Yeah.
Then you're fine, can you see?
- No. - Are you sure?
Mike, I can't see.
How many fingers am I holding up?
I don't know, four?
That's a good guess.
All right my friend, we have arrived.
Can I take this off?
Yeah, take it off.
Where?
Not a massage parlor, a psychic front for a whorehouse.
- Nice. - Not just any psychic,
Madam Zhora's.
Your future is about to get rocked.
- Oh god Mike, all right. - Come on.
Let's get this over with.
Let's do it, come on.
Come on, you are gonna be thanking me so much, Jerry.
- Who's house is this? - Stop asking questions.
Ladies.
Are you the Special?
Her name is Syn and believe me, she lives up to the hype.
Wow.
Syn, you are
gold-
en.
Like me?
I like you, Jerry.
How did you know my...
You have it in your eyes.
- You will want the Special. - That's what we're here for.
- She's not the Special? - Her, no.
- Which one is it then? - Oh, none of these.
I mean they all seem pretty damn special to me, man.
What do you want?
Madame Zhora, we're here for the special.
Both of you?
Oh no, just my buddy here.
His eyes.
Hey,
I'm Jerry.
Best sex of your life.
Dracula is the Special?
What?
Oh hell no, no.
You don't find me attractive?
Or
maybe you like Syn or
my other dolls better, eh?
Trust me Jerry, after five minutes,
you're gonna be forgetting all about Lisa.
- $60 now. - Since when?
Since the last time.
Wait, there's nobody in here.
What the fuck?
What?
No way.
Mike, this is some kind of joke.
Ugh, that's creepy.
Oh, gross.
Where am I?
You know what they say, when in Rome, right?
All right.
Oh, I like this room.
So Syn, what are you...
It's a shame you don't have it.
Oh, I got it and believe me, I'm gonna bring it.
A few times, apparently.
Wow.
Dick in a box.
I don't know where to put my hands, okay.
Just the tip.
Jerry has found the Special.
Get your friend, I am missing my shows.
Okay, relax, "Matlock" is on
like five times a day, lady.
Ah, jeez.
Jerry.
He breathes?
He bleeds?
Breathes, breathes, he's breathing.
I think so, I'm not a doctor.
Like she's not a psychic, right?
- Oh, Jesus. - Ivan.
- Hey Mike? - Yeah Jerry, Jerry?
- Mike. - Hey man.
- Jerry. - Where is your car?
Hey, hey, hey, hey, get off him, man.
He's still got a half chop hanging out.
I can't take him outside like this.
- So dress him. - Me?
Isn't it what you guys get paid for?
All right, jimmies
and there's a lot of sticky DNA on here.
There you go, there you go.
- The car? - It's out front.
It's gonna be all right, Jerry.
- Take the feet. - Oh, god.
Okay.
Hey, hey, hey, let me get his jacket, it's wintertime.
This is fun, all right.
Don't bring this one back, tell him to not return.
He is what it wants.
Okay, understood.
- What the fuck? - Didn't I tell you?
Hey, just to be transparent, I did have
to hold onto your penis while we lifted you into the car.
You had one of those four hour Viagra boners.
Yeah, I still do, dude.
Oh man, no.
God, what the hell was in that box?
It is best not to ask, trust me.
Yeah, I guess, I mean who the hell cares, right?
Exactly.
Please Mike, please.
See what I tell you, the answer's no, all right?
- One and done. - Come on.
- I'm your best friend. - Yeah, I'm your best friend.
I'm doing you a favor here, all right?
Just forget about it, shake it off.
Just go in there and you tell Lisa about how you
just had the best sex of your fucking life with a box.
Hey, you be a good boy
and I'll set you up with Syn next time, all right?
She's pretty far out, trust me.
Just once a week, fuck the bar, I need this, man.
Hey, hey, hey, baby steps.
Baby steps, we'll see.
Where have you been?
Where does it look like, Lis?
Out drinking with Mike again?
I was drinking with Jerry.
- Hey. - What?
How'd you find out about, you know?
Oh you know, drunk friend of a friend type thing.
He must be a pretty good customer because then one day,
that old lady, she offered me the Special.
Shit.
I did it once, once is enough.
Why, is there some kind of rule or something?
Talk to Syn, she knows.
Once is enough.
Thanks, man.
That's what I do.
For the support.
Yeah, don't mention it, man.
- Are we square? - Yeah.
- I got this. - You got it.
Hey, don't forget the Rhyerson files.
Yeah, yeah.
No, I'm cool, thanks.
I think I'm just gonna go to sleep.
I'm pregnant, Jerry.
Are you serious?
I thought, I thought my...
Your swimmers swim.
Are you sure it's mine?
You know, I'm just not feeling
really well and I'm just shocked.
This is big news.
Right?
- Hey Trudy. - Good morning, Jerry.
You need to see these new pictures...
Bye, Trudy.
Yo, buddy.
What?
Oh come on, we didn't drink that much.
You didn't.
After you got home?
So you told her, huh?
No.
- She told me she's pregnant. - What?
Holy shit.
And she said I was having
some kind of wet dream last night.
Apparently I was saying some shit in my sleep, so she
flat out asked me this morning if I fucked someone else.
And then she told me that
she bought me a snowblower for my birthday
and the guy that's she's been going to see
down at the shopping center she texts
is the goddamn fucking salesman, Mike.
And you're buying that?
Who texts a snowblower salesman?
I don't know Mike, she's my wife and I trust her
and now I cheated on her because I listened to you.
Whoa.
Do not blame me, we were drinking.
You were sober enough to drive.
We knew what the fuck we were doing.
Jerry,
I'm gonna give you a little piece of wisdom here, okay?
Just forget about it, forget it ever happened.
Hey, the whole thing was a wet dream.
Yeah, I mean it's not like
it was real pussy anyway, was it?
It's kinda like using one of those.
Fleshlights or jacking off to porn, is that cheating?
That's a little above my pay grade but
just forget it ever happened, all right?
So tell me where the place is.
Did you just miss the whole conversation?
I said it never happened, I said forget it.
Come on Mike, you owe me that.
I should've never
brought you there in the first place.
Yeah, but you did.
You have reached Mystic Wanda.
I can't come to the phone right now
due to unforeseen circumstances but please leave your...
Oh, the clients called about tomorrow's meeting.
Lunch.
It's a little early for lunch, isn't it?
What do you want me to tell the clients?
Tell them I'm going to lunch.
Is Mike going with you?
You fucking see Mike?
I see that we're running low on time now
but I think we've accomplished a lot with this reading.
So I want you to take what we've uncovered now
and put that to good use over the next
couple of months and then I will see you again.
I'll be right with you.
Yeah, I'm on my lunch break, I don't have a lot of time.
- Then please sit down. - No.
Can you just tell me where to find Madame Zhora?
I don't know who you're talking about.
You're a psychic and you can't find another psychic?
Great, you're all full of shit, I get it.
Ring any bells, Morticia?
Just in case, just in case.
- Closed, come back later. - No, no, wait.
I'm here for the Special.
- Syn is not here. - No, no Syn.
The Special.
I seem to remember you.
Your eyes.
I'll pay double.
- No, no. - No.
No.
What can I get ya?
Hey, I was just wondering if you have weekly rates here?
Hmm, you look more like a minute man to me.
We got hourly, we got weekly,
you can get six nights for 250.
Yeah, that sounds good, six nights.
If you're on disability,
fill this out so my ass gets paid.
No, I don't need that.
Cash or card?
Just use my card.
All right, you're gonna be upstairs,
second door on the left.
I got a couple simple rules up in here.
Piss and shit in the toilet,
clean up your mess on the bed or wherever you make it.
Don't leave that shit for me
and when you return the key, you don't bring it
down here, you bring it upstairs to me, got it?
- Yeah. - Hey.
When you leave, take the body with you.
What?
Fuck.
Okay.
That's good.
- Excuse me, sir? - Yeah?
- You're the new guest here? - Yeah I am, why?
Do you want the room cleaned?
No, I don't need anything, don't worry about it.
Don't change the towels, don't change the bed.
Just don't come in for any reason.
- The floor and the bathroom? - No, no, nothing.
Nada, okay?
Just stay out of the room, okay, all right?
Okay, I'll stay out while you're there.
You don't go in there for any reason.
Not when I'm here, not when I'm not here.
What the fuck is so hard about that?
Okay, okay, I'll stay out.
That a girl.
Fuck.
Come on in, please.
It's okay, I'll stay here.
Where are your employees?
It's just and Madame.
And how long have you worked for,
I'm sorry, what's her real name again?
Anya Gribinsky.
I have been with Madame always.
And what do you do for her?
- Security and maintenance. - Really?
There's enough riff raff in a fortune teller
joint to have a guy like you as a bouncer?
This place has a smell.
When you've been doing this for awhile,
you can almost be blind and know where you are.
Yeah, locker rooms have their own smell.
Bowling alleys, strip clubs.
Bodies give off pheromones, did you know that?
Tell me Detective, what is it that you smell?
Tea,
cigarettes.
Pussy.
I tell you already,
I go to the store and she knows
do not let anyone in until Ivan returns.
But she does not listen.
Anything else I do not know.
You have no idea who could've done this?
I am not the psychic.
Kimosabe, where were you?
- What do you mean? - Lunch.
I came by, you were already gone.
I just felt like being alone.
I got a lot on my mind, if you haven't guessed.
That's all?
Yeah Mike, that's all.
All right.
You know, no hard feelings.
Nope, forgotten already.
Really?
Isn't that what you said I should do?
Yeah, but I didn't think you actually would.
Yeah, well I am.
I gotta make things right with Lisa and hopefully
in a week or two, everything will be back to normal.
Good place to start.
Wanna hit Mort's after work tonight?
No, I can't, I made reservations with Lisa at Chang's.
Have fun.
So where's your drinking buddy tonight?
Ah, with the wife.
Where you should be.
When are you gonna get married, man?
Come on Mort, you know I'm not the marrying type and in
fact, I don't even think humans are meant to be monogamous.
You know males are wired to spread
their seed, like farm equipment.
Is that right?
Well then maybe I should've been a farmer, huh?
Yeah, maybe you should've.
You okay with that or you need another?
- I'm fine. - All right.
We're downtown outside of Anya Gribinsky's,
known locally as Madame Zhora's Psychic Parlor where
police say Gribinsky, aged 72, was found dead upstairs.
While local authorities have no comment,
foul play is suspected.
Reporting from downtown, this is Nick Roberts.
Back to you, Susan.
Fuck!
Hey.
How'd it go?
How'd what go?
The reason you're late.
The meeting with Mr. Rhyerson you called about.
Oh yeah,
it went fine.
Is that really where you were?
What do you mean?
You weren't out drinking with Mike or someone else?
No, we talked about this, remember?
We're good.
Are we, Jerry?
I'm not feeling well.
What are you doing?
I thought you were watching your show.
I am now.
I was just getting ready to come out and surprise you.
Surprise, surprise.
Jerry, slow.
Oh, Jerry.
Slow.
Jerry, Jerry.
- Where are you going? - Work.
The Rhyerson thing's put me way behind.
I'd rather it cut into
my mornings than my weekends, you know?
I'll talk to you later.
- This is Mike. - Hi, Mike.
Lisa, hey.
Sorry to bother you at work but
I was wondering if I could talk to you about Jerry?
Okay, what about?
Does he seem like himself to you lately?
How do you mean?
I don't know, it's just that
he treated me like a one night stand this morning.
It's like he couldn't get out of here quick enough.
Good morning, Mr. Horford.
No Frank, it's a great fucking morning.
Do you think he's cheating, Mike?
No.
You know,
if he is, he hasn't told me about it.
- You're late again. - Not anymore.
I need to know if this is an affair.
If you see or hear anything suspicious,
will you let me know?
Yeah, of course.
Sure.
I hope so.
Jeez, you look like shit.
That my Lisa you were talking to?
Actually it was and you know why she called?
She thinks you're having an affair.
Are you?
Am I what?
Just because you want to fuck my wife
doesn't mean you can talk to her behind my back.
Hey, she called me.
Next time, don't answer.
So, you've come to tell me that you found who did this.
No, but I hear you've
been doing a little search of your own.
But you found something.
What we found is a lot of things that
can't be traced back to anyone with a record.
I'm actually here because I'm wondering
if whoever did this took more than your boss.
My boss?
Madame.
Nothing was taken but Madame's life.
You ever have something stuck in your tooth?
A piece of popcorn maybe
stuck in your teeth way back here?
No matter how much you pick at it, it won't come out.
You ever had that happen?
I floss.
You don't seem very concerned with
whether or not we find whoever did this to Ms. Gribinsky.
In fact, it's almost as if you don't want us
to catch this person and you know what that makes me think?
I am that's something that's stuck in the tooth.
Exactly.
Yeah, exactly.
Americans have a saying, "What goes around, comes around."
I think whoever did this will get what they deserve.
What's with the occult books here, Ivan?
Well, the occult was her career.
Curses too, how much for her to put a curse on someone?
Madame did that for free, I wish I had her powers.
I would curse the man who did this.
- So it was a man? - I assume so, yes.
Well Ivan, why would a man frequent
a fortune teller, let alone kill one?
Men want to know things too.
Something's wrong?
Yeah, you know, I find a lot wrong actually.
What was on this table again?
A box.
I like working with wood.
A box for what?
For putting things in.
And where is this box?
Ah, fuck.
Yeah Trudy, this is Jerry.
Can you tell Mr. Rolf I'm not gonna make it back in today?
I'm really sick.
Brian, the doctor will see you now.
Shit, yeah, sorry, they're calling me in.
Yeah, got it.
- So you're married? - Yes.
You and your wife having more sex than usual?
No, less than usual actually, ow.
Sorry.
Are you having sex with anyone other than your wife?
No.
- Are you sure. - Unless I'm sleep-fucking no.
- Fuck. - Look.
I can't help you if you're not honest.
I'm not having sex with anyone else, no.
So you're masturbating more than usual?
Unless I'm using a cheese grater, I mean look at this.
I think it's spreading and it comes and goes.
It's all over my fucking dick, man, what is this?
I don't know.
I'll tell you what, mister,
Mr. Smith, whatever it is that your penis
and you are doing, just do it less often.
I'm gonna write you a prescription for some LMX ointment.
Go ahead and put that on a couple times a day.
See if that works.
Fuck you.
- Is it ready yet? - Just a minute.
You have a bathroom here?
It's in the back.
Do I need to tell you how to use this?
Yeah, just rub it on my dick, right?
Fuck.
Oh.
Jerry?
Jerry, what are you doing?
I'm sick.
You don't feel hot.
You can say that again.
Is there anything I can do to help?
No, I think I'm just gonna try to sleep it off.
I gotta get to work tomorrow.
What kinda sick are you?
I don't know, flu sick, cold sick.
Why?
I think I miscarried.
- Did you hear me? - I heard you.
I'm sorry.
You're sorry?
- That's it? - Where is this going?
Lisa, I really need to sleep.
It's going nowhere.
Look, I don't have a VD if that's what
you're asking because again, I am not cheating on you.
Lis, Lis.
We could try again.
We will.
It'll be okay.
Please,
can I just get some sleep please?
Thanks.
What the?
No, no, no, no.
Shit.
No, no, no, no.
Good morning sir, how are you?
Anything I can help you with?
No, no, I'm cool.
Can I help you find something?
Yeah.
I'm looking for, I don't know what it's called.
Yeah, I need to cut a lock.
Like bolt cutters?
Yeah, yeah, that'll work.
How big is the lock?
Shit, like this big.
- These should work fine. - Yeah.
They're used, is that okay?
Yeah, it's fine, that'll work.
Yeah Trudy, it's Jerry.
Thanks, I'm afraid I'm still not feeling so well.
So yeah, okay Trudy, yeah I will, all right, okay.
Shh.
Fuck.
Fuck, fuck, ah.
Ah, okay.
Okay.
Hello?
Hi Lisa, it's Trudy from Mike's workplace.
Oh hi Trudy, how are you?
I'm okay,
I just wanted to call and check on Jerry.
What do you mean, he's not at work?
No, he called in sick, something...
What the hell?
I'd like to welcome the board back.
I know I can do all of your counting
and don't worry about it, I'm totally fine.
- Yes, you are. - As you say.
Yeah, man.
Okay, and Parkington writes in his book
a lot about his mental problems specifically.
I told you no cleaning here.
And why not?
Lisa?
Jerry.
What are you doing here?
What do you think?
Open the door.
Just wait a minute.
Now Jerry or I swear to God
I'm gonna scream rape at the top of my lungs.
One second.
Jerry.
Fuck, Jesus Christ, it stinks in here.
- It's an old room. - No.
Something stinks.
Is it her?
Who?
The girl you're cheating on me with.
At least I hope it's a girl.
Lisa, we talked about this, there's nothing going on.
You're gonna deny it even though I caught you?
You're pathetic.
Where is she?
Did she go in the bathroom now?
Don't go in there.
I wonder why.
How could you, Jerry?
How could you?
- Get off me. - Lisa, no.
Get off me, get off.
Oh, fuck!
What the hell is that?
Not so much just that first experience is that they
like it enough to keep doing it and then it's hard to stop.
Listen, you do stuff and you don't do stuff
and you do stuff that keeps on making you feel good
until it doesn't make you feel good and you stop doing it.
That's what I tell the kids, you know?
But the problem is,
and as the Lord is a witness to it,
you keep doing it and you'll die.
But with the stuff that you've been doing...
I don't know we keep talking about my drug use.
I mean like it's just that's the message
that I'm giving you right now as we're talking.
I understand that.
When I see people that are playing video games
or doing heroin, it doesn't seem like
they're having fun or living their life
best suited to help make them feel good
and it ends up making you feel bad.
Fuck.
Hey, hey, I'm Dick, how are ya?
You're Jerry, right?
Yeah, yeah, I'm Jerry.
- Cool. - Yeah.
Well if you can just put your initials on there for me?
- So you're the guy. - Excuse me?
You're the guy.
I'm the guy.
Is your wife on her way here?
No, she's not on her way here.
She asked me to meet you, so...
- Oh. - Yeah.
Right, yeah.
Hey, why don't I give you a once over?
Hey Dick, I can read a manual and figure it out myself.
It's a snowblower, it's not blowing me, is it?
- So where do you want it? - We bought the stupid thing
so you can drop the whole bullshit salesman act, okay?
Yeah, right Jerry, no problem.
If you could just give me your initials here?
Great, thanks.
Shh.
Fuck.
So out with the wife again, is he?
Nope, he called in sick today.
Hey Mort, turn the volume up on that TV, hurry, hurry.
Authorities have not released
a list of suspects at this time.
With more information on this story,
I have Ivan Marovich, caretaker at Madame Zhora's.
Whoever did this, I hope you are watching now.
I know what is happening to you
and I am the only one who can help you.
So when you are ready to accept my help,
I will be here waiting for you.
- Did you clean up? - It's clean enough.
Move out, scoot.
You know, you really don't look like
the usual type of person I get coming through this place.
It's a pretty high class place you got here.
That's real funny.
No, I just mean like you don't look
like a meth head or some sloshed up drunk.
What'd you do, molest somebody and you're hiding out?
Did you kill someone?
Hey look, don't get me wrong, I don't give a fuck
one way or the other but they come up in here to get you,
I'm just gonna say I didn't know anything.
- I took some towels. - Take 'em.
Hell, you want my opinion, you oughta burn 'em.
You can charge me for them.
What, for cum rags?
You'll ruin the house, man.
Okay, all right.
Get out.
Anybody home?
Hello?
Lisa?
Are you home?
Lisa?
Lisa, are you in there?
What the fuck?
Fuck.
Lisa,
are you in here?
What the fuck did you do?
This is not what I expected, what's up, Mike?
Jerry.
Hey, jeez.
- You look like shit. - Why, this?
Yeah, it's just a rash.
The doc gave me some kind of ointment,
he said it'll be all right, it's pretty gross, right?
Is that from that thing, that thing in the tub?
What?
That's what that guy was talking about.
What who was talking about?
That guy, the big guy from Madame Zhora's.
He was on the TV, she's dead you know and he said
whoever did it, he's got something that can fix it.
Was it you?
Come on Mike, you believe that shit?
He's just trying to trick me into
coming to him so he can turn me in to the police.
Okay, let's get you to the hospital.
No, no, no hospital.
- I'm gonna stay here. - Jerry, look.
How'd you get in here?
Your garage door was open, it's always open.
Since when do you think you can just walk into my house?
Hey, I'm just here to help you, man.
Help?
I mean it's a little late for that.
- Listen. - Isn't it?
Listen Jerry, if you had anything to do
with Madame Zhora's death, don't worry about it,
we'll cover it up, tie up loose ends.
You can trust me, I'm your buddy.
And Lisa?
What about Lisa?
She got in the way.
No.
No, Jerry, no.
Hey, did you forget?
- This is all your fault. - My fault?
Telling me to cheat on my wife.
Is that your idea of help?
I said one time, one and done, don't go back.
You didn't listen, fuck!
Hey.
Shh.
He didn't hurt you, did he?
Hey.
Come here.
Come here, beautiful.
You okay?
I'll be back later.
Are you feeling okay?
Happy birthday!
What are you doing here?
It's your birthday.
It is?
Are you okay, Jerry?
Is that a rash?
I'm sick.
Oh, you poor baby.
But you can't be that sick
because your wife didn't call us and cancel.
- She's sick too. - Can we see her?
No, she's sleeping, we both were.
Look, thanks for coming, I really appreciate it.
But I'm sorry we didn't call you guys
but the party's canceled and you can just go now, thanks.
- What do you mean? - Come on, Jerry.
We've been looking forward to this all week.
Would you just get off my property?
I thought your wife was sleeping.
George, fuck off, both of you.
All of you, just get outta here, get off my property.
- I'm sick. - Yeah, clearly.
I see you got my message.
Can you really help me?
Of course.
Is this what you took from us?
- It is dead? - No, I mean yeah.
I don't know, I think it is.
Can you fix it?
Come with me.
What are we doing in here?
Sit down, try to relax
while I see what I can do about our friend.
Wait, for what it's worth, I'm really sorry.
Listen, to make up for it, the business that you lost,
I used part of it on me with my wife
and it like rocked her world, man.
It works inside a woman?
I tried a little bit but it does nothing for the girl.
No, no, I put it on me first
and it all happened inside of her.
But who cares about what it does for the girls?
It's all about the guys, right?
They're your customer, as long as it satisfies him, right?
A little bit of the Special with my girls.
- Something to think about. - Yes.
I mean maybe we could work together.
I can help, we could be partners
or something and I can be with it again.
Do not worry, you will be with it again soon.
So you'll be able to help it?
Of course, I will get started.
- Better if you relax now. - Yes, thank you.
You said you'd help me.
No.
Guess I could've been the new psychic.
I saw this one coming a mile away.
So you are here to arrest me then?
Actually I'm here because the money
we found in Madame Zhora's hand yielded DNA evidence.
Jerry Horford, he sound familiar?
I do not know him.
Well we think he was here.
We think he may have killed Madame Zhora.
You like what you see?
Maybe something less compromising.
What are you implying?
Let me offer you something better.
Let me give you the Special, no charge.
So I just got back from my stand up gig, you know the one.
Remember I told you John van Tongeren
and Michael Sweet were in the crowd?
Well listen, you guys have to come back with me.
It was incredible.
After my set, this guy told me to go to this fortune teller.
Listen, it's like a whorehouse.
I was drinking with this guy
and he told me to ask for the Special.