WEBVTT FILE 1 00:00:02.000 --> 00:00:07.000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08.000 --> 00:00:13.000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:37.291 --> 00:00:41.166 [distant waves] 4 00:00:48.958 --> 00:00:50.125 [electricity pylon buzzing] 5 00:01:00.958 --> 00:01:03.958 [electrical buzz] 6 00:01:48.916 --> 00:01:50.583 [Naoki] When I was small, 7 00:01:50.625 --> 00:01:56.291 I didn't even know that I was a kid with 'special needs'. 8 00:01:56.333 --> 00:01:58.833 How did I find out? 9 00:01:58.875 --> 00:02:00.541 By other people telling me 10 00:02:00.583 --> 00:02:02.666 that I was different from everyone else. 11 00:02:04.000 --> 00:02:05.875 And that this was a problem. 12 00:02:07.000 --> 00:02:09.291 [boy makes sounds] 13 00:02:10.458 --> 00:02:12.291 True enough... 14 00:02:12.333 --> 00:02:16.625 it was very hard for me to act like most other people. 15 00:02:16.666 --> 00:02:20.541 And even now, I still can't do a 'real' conversation. 16 00:02:23.666 --> 00:02:26.791 From your point of view, the world of autism 17 00:02:26.833 --> 00:02:30.125 must look like a deeply mysterious place. 18 00:02:32.208 --> 00:02:36.333 So my big hope is that by writing this book, 19 00:02:36.375 --> 00:02:39.708 I can help to explain in my own way, 20 00:02:39.750 --> 00:02:41.125 what goes on in my mind. 21 00:02:52.041 --> 00:02:54.083 [low electrical hum] 22 00:02:58.291 --> 00:03:00.791 [Naoki] Can you imagine how your life would be 23 00:03:00.833 --> 00:03:03.458 if you couldn't say what you wanted? 24 00:03:03.500 --> 00:03:05.958 [light buzzing] 25 00:03:08.208 --> 00:03:09.333 They're turned off. 26 00:03:12.666 --> 00:03:14.916 The fountains are off in Greece. 27 00:03:14.958 --> 00:03:16.625 The fountains are off in Greece. 28 00:03:20.458 --> 00:03:23.708 Hi, all the fountains are off in Greece. 29 00:03:23.750 --> 00:03:25.125 [man] Are they? 30 00:03:25.166 --> 00:03:26.916 All the fountains are off in Greece. 31 00:03:26.958 --> 00:03:27.916 [man] Okay. 32 00:03:30.583 --> 00:03:32.166 Those fountains are off in Greece. 33 00:03:35.625 --> 00:03:36.958 [loud traffic] 34 00:03:37.000 --> 00:03:41.416 -[game beeps] -[Emma makes sounds] 35 00:03:45.125 --> 00:03:47.541 [Emma makes sounds] 36 00:03:48.625 --> 00:03:52.666 [game beeping] 37 00:03:52.708 --> 00:03:55.083 -No more. -[game beeping] 38 00:03:55.125 --> 00:03:57.125 [murmurs] 39 00:03:57.166 --> 00:03:59.416 [Naoki] Every time I do something 40 00:03:59.458 --> 00:04:01.625 that other people wouldn't, 41 00:04:01.666 --> 00:04:03.791 it must make you wonder why. 42 00:04:03.833 --> 00:04:06.333 [Ben makes T and S sounds] 43 00:04:07.625 --> 00:04:10.041 [Jestina laughs] 44 00:04:10.083 --> 00:04:13.625 [Naoki] But don't judge me from the outside only. 45 00:04:13.666 --> 00:04:17.083 Spare a little time to listen to what I have to say 46 00:04:17.125 --> 00:04:19.208 and have a nice trip through our world. 47 00:04:21.416 --> 00:04:22.458 [horn beeping] 48 00:04:25.791 --> 00:04:27.625 [wind chimes chiming] 49 00:04:31.875 --> 00:04:33.000 [fan blades reverberate] 50 00:05:04.916 --> 00:05:06.166 [fan blades continue reverberating] 51 00:05:20.458 --> 00:05:23.958 [Aarti] Amrit picks up on things which people usually do not. 52 00:05:32.708 --> 00:05:35.708 That was kind of a revelation. 53 00:05:39.583 --> 00:05:41.833 For a very long time 54 00:05:41.875 --> 00:05:44.750 she had so much anger in her 55 00:05:44.791 --> 00:05:47.875 but there was no way that she could tell us about it. 56 00:05:50.166 --> 00:05:54.000 She must've had some bullying moments in school. 57 00:05:56.041 --> 00:05:58.333 She was wanting to make friends 58 00:05:58.375 --> 00:06:01.125 but others did not know how to be friendly with her. 59 00:06:03.708 --> 00:06:06.625 She would scream for hours, 60 00:06:06.666 --> 00:06:09.041 and then she would cry and I would cry 61 00:06:09.083 --> 00:06:10.416 and-- not knowing what to do. 62 00:06:15.250 --> 00:06:16.833 That was the time 63 00:06:16.875 --> 00:06:19.125 when she used to really rub the crayon 64 00:06:19.166 --> 00:06:22.791 on one particular spot until the paper would tear 65 00:06:22.833 --> 00:06:25.208 and there were impressions on her desk. 66 00:06:27.500 --> 00:06:29.291 But within that, 67 00:06:29.333 --> 00:06:33.875 there was such a strong message for others. 68 00:06:36.041 --> 00:06:40.041 And I realized that it wasn't just art that she was doing. 69 00:06:40.083 --> 00:06:43.375 She was actually giving me the routine of her day 70 00:06:43.416 --> 00:06:45.000 and what all was happening. 71 00:06:45.041 --> 00:06:47.333 So, she would draw what she was eating, 72 00:06:47.375 --> 00:06:51.333 she would draw other students around her, 73 00:06:51.375 --> 00:06:53.041 she would draw the landscape. 74 00:07:00.500 --> 00:07:03.250 And that is how the journey began. 75 00:07:03.291 --> 00:07:06.666 [music swells] 76 00:07:25.708 --> 00:07:28.041 [Naoki] So how do I see the world? 77 00:07:30.833 --> 00:07:34.500 You may be looking at the exact same thing as me, 78 00:07:34.541 --> 00:07:37.541 but how I perceive it appears to be different. 79 00:07:41.083 --> 00:07:42.791 When you see an object 80 00:07:42.833 --> 00:07:46.875 it seems you see it as an entire thing first 81 00:07:46.916 --> 00:07:49.541 and only afterwards do its details follow on. 82 00:07:55.125 --> 00:08:00.166 But for me, the details jump straight out first of all, 83 00:08:00.208 --> 00:08:03.708 and then gradually, detail by detail, 84 00:08:03.750 --> 00:08:06.125 the whole image floats up into focus. 85 00:08:07.250 --> 00:08:08.583 [curtain flaps] 86 00:08:13.458 --> 00:08:14.791 [rain splashing] 87 00:08:32.791 --> 00:08:36.916 [exaggerated metallic rain-like sounds] 88 00:08:36.958 --> 00:08:41.125 [Naoki] My eyes are captured by lines and surfaces. 89 00:08:47.000 --> 00:08:51.125 Just to get a grip on things, I have to scan my memory 90 00:08:51.166 --> 00:08:54.666 to find an experience closest to what's happening now. 91 00:08:54.708 --> 00:09:01.541 [Drop-like sounds, reminiscent of rain] 92 00:09:05.750 --> 00:09:08.666 [street sounds resume] 93 00:09:12.000 --> 00:09:16.083 [David] The chaos of the world has to be 94 00:09:16.125 --> 00:09:18.750 turned into some kind of coherent order, 95 00:09:19.625 --> 00:09:21.833 almost by hand, 96 00:09:21.875 --> 00:09:24.750 inside an autistic mind I think-- I don't have one 97 00:09:24.791 --> 00:09:27.541 so I can't be sure but this book helps me understand a bit. 98 00:09:29.833 --> 00:09:32.125 [David] Naoki Higashida wrote 'The Reason I Jump' 99 00:09:32.166 --> 00:09:35.083 when he was thirteen years old. 100 00:09:35.125 --> 00:09:37.958 And like my son, he was autistic and didn't speak. 101 00:09:41.125 --> 00:09:44.875 It's like cartography. He makes a map of his mind. 102 00:09:46.875 --> 00:09:51.291 There's an example where Naoki talks about the steps 103 00:09:51.333 --> 00:09:53.500 that he has to go through to understand 104 00:09:53.541 --> 00:09:55.541 that it is raining. 105 00:09:55.583 --> 00:09:59.083 And it would never occur to you if you're neurotypical, 106 00:09:59.125 --> 00:10:04.000 that you have to flip through this mental card index, 107 00:10:04.041 --> 00:10:07.208 connecting the sound, previous memories 108 00:10:07.250 --> 00:10:10.166 with the word 'rain' to work out what's happening now. 109 00:10:11.625 --> 00:10:12.916 You just know it's raining. 110 00:10:14.541 --> 00:10:15.833 [rain falling] 111 00:10:26.000 --> 00:10:28.833 [Jes makes sudden sound] 112 00:10:28.875 --> 00:10:32.875 [David] The world that Naoki describes is different. 113 00:10:32.916 --> 00:10:37.166 Chaotic, swirling, raw and visceral. 114 00:10:37.208 --> 00:10:38.875 [Joss shouting] 115 00:10:38.916 --> 00:10:41.208 [David] It's emotionally very taxing. 116 00:10:41.250 --> 00:10:43.083 Meltdowns can blow up out of nowhere. 117 00:10:43.125 --> 00:10:47.916 [Jes makes sounds of distress] 118 00:10:47.958 --> 00:10:49.750 [David] So that's where my son's living. 119 00:10:52.333 --> 00:10:53.375 And it's not easy. 120 00:10:54.333 --> 00:10:57.666 [busy market sounds] 121 00:11:01.166 --> 00:11:02.958 [sewing machine whirring] 122 00:11:06.500 --> 00:11:08.208 [coat hangers clicking] 123 00:11:09.625 --> 00:11:11.791 [reel spooling loudly] 124 00:11:14.208 --> 00:11:16.375 [chickens clucking] 125 00:11:18.583 --> 00:11:20.458 [gas hissing] 126 00:11:23.625 --> 00:11:25.875 [sizzling] 127 00:11:29.791 --> 00:11:31.958 [indistinct chatter] 128 00:11:32.000 --> 00:11:34.958 [Aarti] She used to have these obsessions. 129 00:11:35.000 --> 00:11:36.458 -[gasps and clicks tongue] -[Aarti] Uh, my fear 130 00:11:36.500 --> 00:11:39.583 was that it is socially awkward. 131 00:11:39.625 --> 00:11:41.916 And I-- I would try and stop her from doing that. 132 00:11:45.583 --> 00:11:47.625 But when I read Naoki's book, 133 00:11:47.666 --> 00:11:50.416 I realized what she must be going through. 134 00:11:51.916 --> 00:11:54.416 So, it's difficult. Yes... I'm sorry. 135 00:12:09.250 --> 00:12:10.208 [sniffs] 136 00:12:15.041 --> 00:12:18.291 I've acted so strange with my own child. 137 00:12:18.333 --> 00:12:19.291 I don't know... 138 00:12:20.458 --> 00:12:22.458 how I fit into a mother's role. 139 00:12:25.000 --> 00:12:26.083 [Aarti sniffs] 140 00:12:29.708 --> 00:12:30.708 [Aarti sighs] 141 00:12:32.000 --> 00:12:33.958 [sighs] 142 00:12:34.000 --> 00:12:36.458 I've tried to stop her from being herself. 143 00:12:44.000 --> 00:12:45.083 [kisses] 144 00:12:45.791 --> 00:12:47.000 [chuckles] 145 00:12:48.666 --> 00:12:49.750 [blows air] 146 00:12:49.791 --> 00:12:50.750 [chuckles] 147 00:12:56.458 --> 00:12:57.458 [kisses] 148 00:13:04.083 --> 00:13:07.125 [gentle music playing] 149 00:13:17.333 --> 00:13:19.958 [wet clay slapping] 150 00:13:21.416 --> 00:13:22.666 [pottery wheel whirring] 151 00:13:43.375 --> 00:13:47.416 [Naoki] Every single thing has its own unique beauty. 152 00:13:47.458 --> 00:13:49.625 [rickshaw engine whirring] 153 00:13:49.666 --> 00:13:52.875 [Naoki] When a color is vivid or a shape is eye-catching, 154 00:13:52.916 --> 00:13:56.541 then my heart kind of drowns in it. 155 00:13:56.583 --> 00:13:59.250 I can't concentrate on anything else. 156 00:14:03.500 --> 00:14:06.833 A person who's looking at a mountain far away 157 00:14:06.875 --> 00:14:08.666 doesn't notice the prettiness 158 00:14:08.708 --> 00:14:11.416 of the dandelion in front of them. 159 00:14:11.458 --> 00:14:13.291 [rickshaw continues vibrating] 160 00:14:21.791 --> 00:14:25.416 [pencil scrapes on paper] 161 00:14:25.458 --> 00:14:28.166 [distant rumble] 162 00:14:34.250 --> 00:14:36.000 [Aarti] There are certain sounds, 163 00:14:36.041 --> 00:14:41.458 there are certain sights, that are either painful 164 00:14:41.500 --> 00:14:45.041 or they are very pleasant. 165 00:14:45.083 --> 00:14:50.333 When she comes home, she picks up a paper to... 166 00:14:50.375 --> 00:14:53.625 to kind of put it there for the world to know. 167 00:14:53.666 --> 00:14:55.708 [Amrit murmuring] 168 00:15:01.291 --> 00:15:05.000 [hums in a high pitch] 169 00:15:09.333 --> 00:15:11.708 [choir echoes] 170 00:15:12.958 --> 00:15:14.458 [humming continues] 171 00:15:21.166 --> 00:15:23.375 [choir echoes] 172 00:15:24.583 --> 00:15:26.125 [hums] 173 00:15:29.250 --> 00:15:32.041 [murmurs] 174 00:15:34.000 --> 00:15:35.000 [humming] 175 00:16:03.125 --> 00:16:04.750 [rickshaw engine whirring] 176 00:16:09.708 --> 00:16:10.708 [mooing] 177 00:16:22.166 --> 00:16:23.291 [car horn] 178 00:16:27.000 --> 00:16:27.958 [barks] 179 00:16:34.791 --> 00:16:36.833 [car horns] 180 00:16:38.666 --> 00:16:39.666 [bubble wrap popping] 181 00:16:50.375 --> 00:16:52.208 [piano music playing] 182 00:17:07.416 --> 00:17:09.833 [Naoki] Not being able to talk 183 00:17:09.875 --> 00:17:11.375 means not being able to share 184 00:17:11.416 --> 00:17:13.416 what you're feeling or thinking. 185 00:17:15.333 --> 00:17:18.125 To live my life as a human being, 186 00:17:18.166 --> 00:17:19.833 nothing is more important 187 00:17:19.875 --> 00:17:21.750 than being able to express myself. 188 00:17:32.208 --> 00:17:36.166 [David] How can you be subject to all this wild, 189 00:17:36.208 --> 00:17:38.666 uncensored, sensory input 190 00:17:38.708 --> 00:17:41.500 and then render that into language? 191 00:17:47.208 --> 00:17:49.750 Naoki Higashida sort of achieved the impossible. 192 00:17:51.750 --> 00:17:53.916 A kid who could still remember what it's like 193 00:17:53.958 --> 00:17:55.625 to be four or five years old. 194 00:17:57.375 --> 00:17:58.458 It's kind of poetry. 195 00:18:01.291 --> 00:18:03.250 It felt like our son was talking to us. 196 00:18:03.291 --> 00:18:04.875 It felt like when I was at-- 197 00:18:04.916 --> 00:18:07.000 at my most desperate, 198 00:18:07.041 --> 00:18:08.541 knowing I wouldn't get an answer, 199 00:18:08.583 --> 00:18:11.000 but just saying, "Why are you doing that?" 200 00:18:11.041 --> 00:18:12.708 Uh... 201 00:18:12.750 --> 00:18:14.333 Well, here's the answer. 202 00:18:16.750 --> 00:18:20.000 My wife and I wanted the people who work with our son 203 00:18:20.041 --> 00:18:21.958 to read it as well. 204 00:18:22.000 --> 00:18:23.541 So, we started translating it. 205 00:18:26.875 --> 00:18:32.083 [David] The book felt like an envoy from another world, 206 00:18:32.125 --> 00:18:34.750 whose culture, whose rules, 207 00:18:34.791 --> 00:18:36.500 whose reasons I didn't understand. 208 00:18:36.541 --> 00:18:38.083 [boy makes an "ah" sound] 209 00:18:41.208 --> 00:18:42.791 [Naoki] My mind 210 00:18:42.833 --> 00:18:46.875 is forever swaying this way and that. 211 00:18:46.916 --> 00:18:50.708 [Naoki] I never ever feel at ease wherever I am. 212 00:18:54.833 --> 00:18:59.291 As a child, I used to wander off from home. 213 00:18:59.333 --> 00:19:01.166 It wasn't because I wanted to go out 214 00:19:01.208 --> 00:19:03.333 for a special reason. 215 00:19:03.375 --> 00:19:06.541 My body moved because it was lured outside 216 00:19:06.583 --> 00:19:08.833 by something there, 217 00:19:08.875 --> 00:19:12.291 in search of somewhere where I felt at ease. 218 00:19:23.416 --> 00:19:26.958 [swing screeching] 219 00:19:31.666 --> 00:19:34.833 [Joss] Hi. Hi, Joss. 220 00:19:34.875 --> 00:19:36.750 The lady is going to turn the fans on. 221 00:19:40.291 --> 00:19:41.500 It's like a fan. 222 00:19:46.250 --> 00:19:48.958 The fan-- The fan goes round and round. 223 00:19:57.208 --> 00:19:58.583 We're making a fan. 224 00:19:59.875 --> 00:20:01.750 Make it-- make it spin fast! 225 00:20:03.041 --> 00:20:04.916 Make it spin fast. 226 00:20:04.958 --> 00:20:08.375 -It's going round. -[carer 1] It is going round. 227 00:20:08.416 --> 00:20:10.333 -Joss going high. -[carer 1 chuckling] 228 00:20:10.375 --> 00:20:11.875 [Joss] High! 229 00:20:11.916 --> 00:20:12.916 [carer 1] High, Joss. 230 00:20:14.583 --> 00:20:17.916 Joss... because it's raining... 231 00:20:17.958 --> 00:20:19.750 [the sound becomes muffled as Joss covers his ears] 232 00:20:19.791 --> 00:20:21.625 -Good lad. -Good lad, well done. 233 00:20:21.666 --> 00:20:24.708 - I am a good lad. - Joss, Joss we're gonna take the sausage and chips 234 00:20:24.750 --> 00:20:26.125 back to Bradstow, okay? 235 00:20:28.875 --> 00:20:30.250 [Joss laughing] 236 00:20:30.291 --> 00:20:31.666 [normal sound resumes as he removes hands from ears] 237 00:20:31.708 --> 00:20:33.500 [carer 1 chuckles] Come on. 238 00:20:33.541 --> 00:20:35.625 -[Joss] We're at big school. -[carer 1] We are at big school. 239 00:20:38.291 --> 00:20:40.125 [gurgling water] 240 00:20:44.250 --> 00:20:46.458 [cello music playing] 241 00:20:47.541 --> 00:20:50.083 [seagulls squawking] 242 00:20:50.125 --> 00:20:52.416 [sound becomes muffled as Joss covers his ears] 243 00:20:53.333 --> 00:20:55.083 Is the umbrella hot? 244 00:20:55.125 --> 00:20:57.250 [Naoki] As soon as I try to speak with someone, 245 00:20:57.291 --> 00:20:59.125 my words just vanish. 246 00:21:03.916 --> 00:21:07.125 There is a gap between what I'm thinking 247 00:21:07.166 --> 00:21:08.500 and what I'm saying. 248 00:21:08.541 --> 00:21:10.333 Mummy got me two milkshakes. 249 00:21:10.375 --> 00:21:12.750 [carer 1] Mummy did get you two milkshakes. 250 00:21:12.791 --> 00:21:14.208 [Naoki] It's like a reflex... 251 00:21:15.625 --> 00:21:17.541 [Joss shouts] 252 00:21:17.583 --> 00:21:21.041 ...reacting to what I've just seen in some cases... 253 00:21:21.083 --> 00:21:22.916 or to some old memories. 254 00:21:27.166 --> 00:21:30.500 As if I'm drowning in a flood of words. 255 00:21:30.541 --> 00:21:32.500 The cover is like a black hoover. 256 00:21:32.541 --> 00:21:34.166 -[carer 1] It's like a-- -[Joss] Red? 257 00:21:34.208 --> 00:21:36.291 [Joss] This cover is like a black hoover. 258 00:21:36.333 --> 00:21:37.458 [carer 2] It's like a red hoover. 259 00:21:37.500 --> 00:21:38.875 It's like a black hoover. 260 00:21:38.916 --> 00:21:41.041 [carer 2] Oh, it's like a black one. 261 00:21:41.083 --> 00:21:42.875 [Joss] This cover is like a red hoover. [carer 2] I think it's like a black hoover. 262 00:21:42.916 --> 00:21:44.250 [Joss] Its cover is like a black hoover. 263 00:21:44.291 --> 00:21:45.708 [carer 2] It is. 264 00:21:45.750 --> 00:21:48.208 [Naoki] The big exception is words or phrases 265 00:21:48.250 --> 00:21:49.916 I'm familiar with, 266 00:21:49.958 --> 00:21:52.208 like playing a game of catch with a ball. 267 00:21:52.250 --> 00:21:53.708 -[Joss] Papa! -[carer 1] Papa. 268 00:21:53.750 --> 00:21:57.541 [laughs] Papa, Papa! 269 00:21:57.583 --> 00:21:58.708 [dog barks] 270 00:22:00.041 --> 00:22:01.708 [dog barks] 271 00:22:01.750 --> 00:22:03.791 [carer 1] Do you want to wait for the doggy to go? 272 00:22:06.708 --> 00:22:09.125 Joss, the dog's gone now, we're gonna keep walking 273 00:22:09.166 --> 00:22:11.000 to the cafe, okay? 274 00:22:11.041 --> 00:22:12.708 Good lad, well done. 275 00:22:12.750 --> 00:22:16.166 -[distant dog barks] -[threatening drone sound] 276 00:22:21.208 --> 00:22:24.125 [distant dogs barking] 277 00:22:27.791 --> 00:22:30.541 [Stevie] Joss can see everything, 278 00:22:30.583 --> 00:22:31.958 and he can hear everything. 279 00:22:34.750 --> 00:22:36.541 [nostalgic music playing] 280 00:22:36.583 --> 00:22:38.500 When Joss was little, 281 00:22:38.541 --> 00:22:41.250 his sensory world was entirely a positive thing. 282 00:22:46.000 --> 00:22:50.416 Everything related back to water and light, 283 00:22:50.458 --> 00:22:53.041 so we provided as much water and light as we could. 284 00:22:53.083 --> 00:22:54.708 [rush of water] 285 00:22:57.708 --> 00:22:58.625 [Jeremy] What can you see? 286 00:23:02.291 --> 00:23:03.375 What can you see, Joss? 287 00:23:05.833 --> 00:23:07.250 One of the things I would love to be 288 00:23:07.291 --> 00:23:10.250 is just inside his head. 289 00:23:10.291 --> 00:23:13.500 Just-- just for ten seconds to understand, 290 00:23:13.541 --> 00:23:15.916 how he sees the world. 291 00:23:15.958 --> 00:23:17.541 [indistinct whispering] Let's go. 292 00:23:19.083 --> 00:23:20.500 It's making a noise. 293 00:23:20.541 --> 00:23:22.000 [Joss] The green box is making a noise. 294 00:23:22.041 --> 00:23:23.541 [Jeremy] The green box is making a noise. 295 00:23:26.166 --> 00:23:29.166 [low humming] 296 00:23:36.166 --> 00:23:37.583 [Joss] Shall we get in? 297 00:23:37.625 --> 00:23:40.166 You cannot get-- No, you cannot get in, no. 298 00:23:41.583 --> 00:23:43.750 Green box is like music. 299 00:23:43.791 --> 00:23:45.583 Green box is like music. 300 00:23:45.625 --> 00:23:47.708 [humming noise continues] 301 00:23:50.000 --> 00:23:53.916 -[electricity box hums] -[Georgian choir humming] 302 00:24:09.750 --> 00:24:11.500 Is it like a black hoover? 303 00:24:11.541 --> 00:24:15.041 No, it's like a red hoover. Sounds like a red hoover. 304 00:24:15.083 --> 00:24:16.458 Does it sound like a black hoover? 305 00:24:19.083 --> 00:24:20.208 Does it sound like a black hoover? 306 00:24:20.250 --> 00:24:21.500 No, it sounds like a red hoover. 307 00:24:24.458 --> 00:24:25.458 [Jeremy] Want to go now? 308 00:24:33.250 --> 00:24:36.416 [electricity box fizzes] 309 00:24:36.458 --> 00:24:38.666 [Stevie] Green boxes have become a massive part of our life 310 00:24:38.708 --> 00:24:41.833 because we realize that Joss can hear them 311 00:24:41.875 --> 00:24:43.625 from a long, long, long way away. 312 00:24:45.375 --> 00:24:47.833 [electricity box humming] 313 00:24:50.333 --> 00:24:53.250 [electricity box humming] 314 00:24:56.458 --> 00:24:59.666 [choir humming grows louder] 315 00:25:12.250 --> 00:25:15.375 [loud static and choir grows louder still] 316 00:25:29.916 --> 00:25:31.333 [music and static abruptly cuts] 317 00:25:31.375 --> 00:25:33.416 [sound of pen scribbling] 318 00:25:40.291 --> 00:25:42.083 -We need to get pizza. -[Stevie] We're gonna go-- 319 00:25:42.125 --> 00:25:43.583 Daddy's driving to get the pizza now. 320 00:25:59.333 --> 00:26:02.333 [sound of running water] 321 00:26:02.375 --> 00:26:04.625 [loud sprinkler sound] 322 00:26:07.291 --> 00:26:09.291 We had a sprinkler at Number Eighty. 323 00:26:11.083 --> 00:26:12.500 We did have a sprinkler. Mummy used to-- 324 00:26:12.541 --> 00:26:13.708 "You're not having a sprinkler tonight" 325 00:26:13.750 --> 00:26:15.375 at Number Eighty. 326 00:26:15.416 --> 00:26:17.000 [Stevie chuckles] Is that what-- Did Mummy say that? 327 00:26:17.916 --> 00:26:19.416 Did Mummy say that? 328 00:26:19.458 --> 00:26:21.958 No! Mummy always let you have the sprinkler on! 329 00:26:27.291 --> 00:26:29.083 [Joss squeals with happiness] 330 00:26:29.125 --> 00:26:30.916 [Jeremy] Number Eighty was the number of a house 331 00:26:30.958 --> 00:26:33.208 we used to live in. 332 00:26:33.250 --> 00:26:35.166 Joss is remembering the things that happened 333 00:26:35.208 --> 00:26:39.458 in that garden when he was about three or four years old. 334 00:26:39.500 --> 00:26:41.500 [Jeremy] Specific events. 335 00:26:41.541 --> 00:26:43.291 -[Joss] Number Eighty. -[Jeremy] Number Eighty. 336 00:26:45.500 --> 00:26:47.958 To him, they are just as real as something 337 00:26:48.000 --> 00:26:50.583 that's happened half an hour ago. 338 00:26:50.625 --> 00:26:52.250 I think the earliest we've had is when he was 339 00:26:52.291 --> 00:26:53.916 just before his second birthday. 340 00:26:58.208 --> 00:27:01.166 Like some kind of, um, slideshow, 341 00:27:01.208 --> 00:27:02.833 an out of control slideshow. 342 00:27:13.000 --> 00:27:15.000 [Naoki] Time is a continuous thing 343 00:27:15.041 --> 00:27:16.625 with no clear boundaries, 344 00:27:18.125 --> 00:27:20.416 which is why it's so confusing. 345 00:27:22.875 --> 00:27:24.500 Inside my head, 346 00:27:24.541 --> 00:27:26.250 there isn't really such a big difference 347 00:27:26.291 --> 00:27:29.291 between what I was told just now, 348 00:27:29.333 --> 00:27:32.208 and what I heard a long, long time ago. 349 00:27:36.500 --> 00:27:38.666 I imagine other people's memories 350 00:27:38.708 --> 00:27:41.500 are arranged continuously like a line. 351 00:27:44.083 --> 00:27:48.625 My memory is more like a pool of dots. 352 00:27:48.666 --> 00:27:50.333 Memories are all scattershot 353 00:27:50.375 --> 00:27:52.541 and never connected in the right order. 354 00:27:52.583 --> 00:27:54.083 [rushing sprinkler sound] 355 00:27:54.125 --> 00:27:56.041 [children laughing] 356 00:27:56.083 --> 00:27:58.166 [Joss] Mummy did turn the sprinkler on at Number Eighty. 357 00:27:58.208 --> 00:27:59.541 [squeals] 358 00:27:59.583 --> 00:28:04.375 [Stevie sings "Away in a Manger"] 359 00:28:10.250 --> 00:28:12.208 [Naoki] The trouble with scattered memories 360 00:28:12.250 --> 00:28:14.375 is that sometimes they replay themselves 361 00:28:14.416 --> 00:28:17.791 in my head as if they've only just taken place... 362 00:28:17.833 --> 00:28:20.125 and the emotions I felt originally 363 00:28:20.166 --> 00:28:23.500 come rushing back to me like a sudden storm. 364 00:28:27.750 --> 00:28:28.958 Daddy can't get the pizza. 365 00:28:29.000 --> 00:28:30.541 [Stevie] Daddy is getting pizza, 366 00:28:30.583 --> 00:28:32.958 and Daddy's getting more dough balls now. 367 00:28:33.000 --> 00:28:34.375 Two minutes for pizza. 368 00:28:34.416 --> 00:28:35.583 Can you wait with Mummy please, darling? 369 00:28:35.625 --> 00:28:37.250 [Joss] There's no more pizza! 370 00:28:37.291 --> 00:28:39.083 [Stevie] No, no, the pizza is coming. 371 00:28:39.125 --> 00:28:41.583 -Daddy is bringing the pizza -[Joss] There's no pizza today! 372 00:28:41.625 --> 00:28:43.375 [Stevie] Don't panic, there's gonna be a pizza. 373 00:28:43.416 --> 00:28:44.583 -[Joss roars] -[Stevie] Don't hurt me please. 374 00:28:44.625 --> 00:28:45.541 Don't hurt me. 375 00:28:45.583 --> 00:28:47.125 [Joss] There's no more. 376 00:28:47.166 --> 00:28:49.000 -Oh, no! -[Stevie] Don't panic. 377 00:28:51.083 --> 00:28:53.500 There's no pizza! 378 00:28:53.541 --> 00:28:54.708 -Daddy's gone to get one? -Please, honey. 379 00:28:54.750 --> 00:28:55.708 Daddy's gone to get one. 380 00:29:05.958 --> 00:29:09.000 [Naoki] Exactly what the next moment has in store 381 00:29:09.041 --> 00:29:12.333 never stops being a big, big worry. 382 00:29:24.250 --> 00:29:26.041 [Stevie] It's pizza, it's Joss' pizza! 383 00:29:26.083 --> 00:29:27.625 [Jeremy] I brought you some pizza! 384 00:29:27.666 --> 00:29:29.333 Here! 385 00:29:29.375 --> 00:29:31.833 [Stevie] Daddy! You brought the pizza. Thank you! 386 00:29:31.875 --> 00:29:33.791 [Jeremy] Fucking Pizza Express. 387 00:29:35.958 --> 00:29:39.416 -[scribbling] -[the sounds of a storm] 388 00:29:54.541 --> 00:29:56.291 [Stevie] As he's hit puberty, 389 00:29:56.333 --> 00:29:58.666 his relationship with that sensory world 390 00:29:58.708 --> 00:29:59.791 has changed. 391 00:30:01.875 --> 00:30:03.541 His anxiety is just huge. 392 00:30:05.416 --> 00:30:07.250 [scribbling] 393 00:30:18.791 --> 00:30:20.708 [Joss breathing heavily] 394 00:30:25.416 --> 00:30:28.416 [Naoki] There are times when I can't act, 395 00:30:28.458 --> 00:30:31.291 even though I really badly want to. 396 00:30:35.500 --> 00:30:37.458 [breathing loudly] 397 00:30:40.583 --> 00:30:43.416 [breathes loudly] 398 00:30:47.958 --> 00:30:51.000 [Naoki] It's as if my whole body belongs to someone else. 399 00:30:53.458 --> 00:30:56.708 As if I'm remote-controlling a faulty robot. 400 00:30:56.750 --> 00:30:58.625 [scribbling] 401 00:31:10.041 --> 00:31:14.125 [Joss roaring] 402 00:31:15.958 --> 00:31:17.666 [Jeremy] Get up. 403 00:31:17.708 --> 00:31:19.666 [Jeremy] Daddy loves you. Daddy loves you. 404 00:31:23.708 --> 00:31:25.541 -[Jeremy] Joss! -[Joss roaring] 405 00:31:25.583 --> 00:31:27.291 -[Jeremy] Stop! -[Joss roaring] 406 00:31:30.333 --> 00:31:32.333 -[Jeremy] Joss, stop! Stop! -[thudding] 407 00:31:32.375 --> 00:31:34.958 [Joss roaring] 408 00:31:35.000 --> 00:31:36.083 [Stevie] Stop hurting Daddy. 409 00:31:37.458 --> 00:31:38.541 -[Joss roaring] -[door closes] 410 00:31:40.291 --> 00:31:42.875 [Joss roaring] 411 00:31:47.291 --> 00:31:49.208 [Naoki] It's a feeling of helplessness 412 00:31:49.250 --> 00:31:52.208 which brings on a panic attack or a meltdown. 413 00:31:52.250 --> 00:31:54.791 Even when I make a tiny mistake, 414 00:31:54.833 --> 00:31:57.625 the fact of it starts rushing towards me like a tsunami. 415 00:32:01.500 --> 00:32:03.541 To get away, I'll do anything. 416 00:32:04.833 --> 00:32:06.583 And afterwards, 417 00:32:06.625 --> 00:32:09.375 when I see the wreckage I've made, I hate myself. 418 00:32:11.375 --> 00:32:12.833 I just hate myself. 419 00:32:19.833 --> 00:32:21.500 -[Joss] Hello. -[Stevie] Hello. 420 00:32:21.541 --> 00:32:23.583 -[Joss] Let's go? -[Stevie] Let's go! 421 00:32:29.083 --> 00:32:32.166 We had this kind of horrible, hellish few months 422 00:32:32.208 --> 00:32:35.625 where his aggression got worse and worse. 423 00:32:35.666 --> 00:32:38.208 From there on in, something had just changed. 424 00:32:45.000 --> 00:32:47.375 [high winds blowing] 425 00:32:51.375 --> 00:32:53.291 [Stevie] He was expelled from the school he was in... 426 00:32:54.416 --> 00:32:56.166 and we found a school 427 00:32:56.208 --> 00:32:58.958 that could take and cope with children 428 00:32:59.000 --> 00:33:00.708 with really challenging behavior. 429 00:33:05.166 --> 00:33:06.458 [Stevie] And so we took him there, 430 00:33:06.500 --> 00:33:08.041 and we had to leave him there. 431 00:33:11.875 --> 00:33:13.708 He comes home a lot... 432 00:33:13.750 --> 00:33:16.625 but that decision to send him to a residential school 433 00:33:16.666 --> 00:33:18.916 was the most painful we've ever had to make. 434 00:33:35.791 --> 00:33:37.708 [birds chirping] 435 00:33:51.833 --> 00:33:53.958 They need to get some more bubbles from the shop. 436 00:34:07.208 --> 00:34:10.666 [trampoline springs squeak] 437 00:34:16.875 --> 00:34:18.333 [trampoline instructor] Right, Joss, 438 00:34:18.375 --> 00:34:21.291 shall we see what we've got today, yeah? 439 00:34:21.333 --> 00:34:24.500 Can we reach our hands really nice and tall? 440 00:34:24.541 --> 00:34:25.875 Beautiful! 441 00:34:33.833 --> 00:34:35.708 [Naoki] What is the reason I jump? 442 00:34:39.083 --> 00:34:44.291 I react physically to feelings of sadness and happiness. 443 00:34:44.333 --> 00:34:48.083 So, when something happens that affects me emotionally, 444 00:34:48.125 --> 00:34:51.583 my body seizes up as if struck by lightning. 445 00:34:57.625 --> 00:35:00.250 But when I'm jumping, 446 00:35:00.291 --> 00:35:02.583 it's as if I'm shaking loose the ropes 447 00:35:02.625 --> 00:35:04.916 that are tying me down... 448 00:35:04.958 --> 00:35:08.041 as if my feelings are going upwards to the sky. 449 00:35:15.375 --> 00:35:18.625 If only I could just flap my wings and fly off 450 00:35:18.666 --> 00:35:19.958 to some faraway place. 451 00:35:23.375 --> 00:35:26.875 [loudly rustling grasses] 452 00:35:26.916 --> 00:35:29.041 [David] 'The Reason I Jump' turned on its head 453 00:35:29.083 --> 00:35:30.916 many of the things that we all think 454 00:35:30.958 --> 00:35:32.583 we know about autism. 455 00:35:32.625 --> 00:35:35.541 That people with autism don't do emotions, 456 00:35:35.583 --> 00:35:39.958 uh, that they have no imaginative intelligence. 457 00:35:40.000 --> 00:35:42.125 Naoki couldn't possibly have written it, 458 00:35:42.166 --> 00:35:43.375 were these things true. 459 00:35:46.666 --> 00:35:49.125 And autistic people who can write like Naoki does 460 00:35:49.166 --> 00:35:51.375 are in a bit of a double bind. 461 00:35:51.416 --> 00:35:54.583 Some people will not believe that they have written the book, 462 00:35:54.625 --> 00:35:58.375 uh, or some people believe they have written the book 463 00:35:58.416 --> 00:36:00.750 but, therefore, can't be-- can't possibly be 464 00:36:00.791 --> 00:36:03.500 properly autistic. Only a little bit autistic. 465 00:36:06.083 --> 00:36:09.333 [coach] Nine, ten, over here, and I've got three over here. 466 00:36:09.375 --> 00:36:12.291 [boy] Move to the other side, please. 467 00:36:15.083 --> 00:36:17.958 [Bertra] So, you're not late, you're totally on time, Ben. 468 00:36:19.083 --> 00:36:22.791 [Ben makes repetitive sounds] 469 00:36:24.291 --> 00:36:26.583 -I'll see you-- -See you on the ice! 470 00:36:26.625 --> 00:36:33.375 [Ben makes repetitive sounds] 471 00:36:33.416 --> 00:36:34.708 [man] We've been waiting for you! 472 00:36:37.291 --> 00:36:43.416 -[Ben's sounds get faster] -[music plays] 473 00:36:45.583 --> 00:36:48.833 [hockey sticks and skates clacking] 474 00:36:52.750 --> 00:36:54.541 -[Emma] Mm-hmm. -[Donna] Yep. Let's do it! 475 00:37:10.500 --> 00:37:14.666 [coach] Ben, go! Move in. Yay! 476 00:37:14.708 --> 00:37:16.875 [Emma] Awesome! Awesome! 477 00:37:16.916 --> 00:37:18.541 Alright, yeah! 478 00:37:27.875 --> 00:37:31.458 [sounds of ice rink fade out] 479 00:37:42.458 --> 00:37:44.666 [sound of a ceiling fan fades in] 480 00:37:53.208 --> 00:37:55.500 [Naoki] " Ah, don't worry about him, 481 00:37:55.541 --> 00:37:57.583 he'd rather be on his own." 482 00:37:57.625 --> 00:38:00.000 How many times have I heard this? 483 00:38:00.041 --> 00:38:04.375 The truth is, I'd love to be with other people. 484 00:38:04.416 --> 00:38:07.333 I can't believe that anyone born as a human being 485 00:38:07.375 --> 00:38:09.166 really wants to be left on their own. 486 00:38:10.916 --> 00:38:12.458 [Bertra] When people don't talk, 487 00:38:12.500 --> 00:38:14.083 you assume they're not understanding you. 488 00:38:14.125 --> 00:38:15.541 And then they assume 489 00:38:15.583 --> 00:38:16.750 that it's a cognitive impairment. 490 00:38:18.583 --> 00:38:20.041 Ben is twenty-three. 491 00:38:20.083 --> 00:38:22.875 E.V. started working with Ben when he was 492 00:38:22.916 --> 00:38:24.333 seven, E.V. baby? 493 00:38:24.375 --> 00:38:25.791 [Elizabeth in other room] Seven or eight. 494 00:38:25.833 --> 00:38:29.916 And, um... at the time, Ben had, what, 495 00:38:29.958 --> 00:38:33.833 an attention span of what, about two minutes maybe? 496 00:38:33.875 --> 00:38:36.416 [Bertra's voice in next room] He was just all over the place, 497 00:38:36.458 --> 00:38:39.666 and we're trying to do speech therapy with this kid. 498 00:38:42.416 --> 00:38:45.041 And finally, when Ben turned I think sixteen, we said, 499 00:38:45.083 --> 00:38:46.583 "You know what E.V.? 500 00:38:46.625 --> 00:38:48.541 Speech therapy is not what he needs." 501 00:38:48.583 --> 00:38:50.500 And E.V., bless her heart, said, 502 00:38:50.541 --> 00:38:52.125 "Let me try one more thing." 503 00:38:53.666 --> 00:38:55.333 Ready? 504 00:38:55.375 --> 00:38:56.625 [makes S sound for each letter] 505 00:39:05.375 --> 00:39:09.208 -"I never..." -[Ben continues making S sounds] 506 00:39:09.250 --> 00:39:11.375 [Elizabeth] "I never..." Go, look at it. 507 00:39:14.875 --> 00:39:15.875 Look at it. 508 00:39:19.625 --> 00:39:20.916 -"I never dreamed..." -[continues making S sounds] 509 00:39:24.833 --> 00:39:27.375 "...this..." Get it. 510 00:39:28.916 --> 00:39:30.125 "...this was..." 511 00:39:33.166 --> 00:39:34.833 Get it. Get it. 512 00:39:36.375 --> 00:39:38.500 Get it. 513 00:39:38.541 --> 00:39:42.166 Good. Get it. Look for the letter. 514 00:39:42.208 --> 00:39:45.291 "I never dreamed this was P-O-S-S-I-B... 515 00:39:47.291 --> 00:39:48.958 ...L-E." 516 00:39:55.333 --> 00:39:58.791 [Elizabeth] When I first saw kids spelling, 517 00:39:58.833 --> 00:40:01.250 that was it for me. 518 00:40:01.291 --> 00:40:04.666 Many people who are autistic their brain knows what to do 519 00:40:04.708 --> 00:40:07.083 but they can't get it to their body. 520 00:40:07.125 --> 00:40:09.750 And it made so much sense looking at it 521 00:40:09.791 --> 00:40:12.583 from more of a motor skills standpoint. 522 00:40:12.625 --> 00:40:14.875 Because speech is motor. 523 00:40:14.916 --> 00:40:17.333 Taking language out of the fine motor 524 00:40:17.375 --> 00:40:19.541 of the speech, putting it into the gross motor 525 00:40:19.583 --> 00:40:22.583 of the arm to point made a lot of sense. 526 00:40:22.625 --> 00:40:24.333 -[Ben makes S sounds] -A... 527 00:40:25.208 --> 00:40:26.541 Look at it. 528 00:40:29.000 --> 00:40:30.500 Get it. 529 00:40:30.541 --> 00:40:35.833 -[music plays] -T, and it, W, go, O, go, R, go, 530 00:40:36.708 --> 00:40:39.708 K, go, E and D. 531 00:40:47.666 --> 00:40:52.625 [Elizabeth] If non-speakers are capable of spelling 532 00:40:52.666 --> 00:40:55.083 and are capable of intelligence, 533 00:40:55.125 --> 00:40:56.916 that really shakes the foundation 534 00:40:56.958 --> 00:40:59.458 of a lot of things that we've believed. 535 00:40:59.500 --> 00:41:03.666 [tutor] Okay. "There was once a time I had nothing..." 536 00:41:03.708 --> 00:41:05.500 You've gotta finish that, that's kind of sad. 537 00:41:13.958 --> 00:41:17.833 [Emma] E-V-E-R-Y 538 00:41:20.125 --> 00:41:24.291 Everything! Everything! 539 00:41:28.375 --> 00:41:29.500 I'm done! 540 00:41:29.541 --> 00:41:31.833 [music plays] 541 00:41:35.458 --> 00:41:38.208 [Naoki] Perhaps you're thinking that it's no major effort 542 00:41:38.250 --> 00:41:40.416 for me to write these sentences, 543 00:41:40.458 --> 00:41:42.916 but that isn't true at all. 544 00:41:42.958 --> 00:41:45.500 When I learned to use the letter board, 545 00:41:45.541 --> 00:41:47.708 it let me anchor my words, 546 00:41:47.750 --> 00:41:50.333 words that would otherwise flutter off 547 00:41:50.375 --> 00:41:54.125 as soon as I was able to speak them. 548 00:41:54.166 --> 00:41:57.041 [Bertra] Can you imagine the frustration... 549 00:41:57.083 --> 00:42:01.375 being autistic and non-verbal and you hear everything 550 00:42:01.416 --> 00:42:02.916 and you see everything and you feel everything 551 00:42:02.958 --> 00:42:05.291 but you can't respond? 552 00:42:05.333 --> 00:42:07.916 When you think about it that explains the anger, 553 00:42:07.958 --> 00:42:09.875 it explains the... [sighs] 554 00:42:09.916 --> 00:42:12.708 ...you know, the violence, the aggression. 555 00:42:12.750 --> 00:42:15.666 You-- you can't negotiate. 556 00:42:15.708 --> 00:42:19.458 To reach a point where he is able to express, 557 00:42:19.500 --> 00:42:24.000 has just been a huge blessing. 558 00:42:24.041 --> 00:42:25.833 [game beeps] 559 00:42:25.875 --> 00:42:30.458 [Emma makes sounds] 560 00:42:30.500 --> 00:42:32.958 [Naoki] Please don't assume that every word I speak 561 00:42:33.000 --> 00:42:35.500 is what I intend to say. 562 00:42:35.541 --> 00:42:37.375 [Naoki] Making sounds with your mouth 563 00:42:37.416 --> 00:42:39.291 isn't the same thing as communication. 564 00:42:39.333 --> 00:42:42.291 Let's go home, please. No more. 565 00:42:42.333 --> 00:42:43.958 [Donna spells out the letters as Emma points to them] 566 00:42:44.000 --> 00:42:45.833 -Yeah! -"We could finally..." 567 00:42:45.875 --> 00:42:47.458 [beeping continues] 568 00:43:00.916 --> 00:43:02.666 "We could finally let each other..." 569 00:43:02.708 --> 00:43:04.416 No more. No more! 570 00:43:14.416 --> 00:43:15.791 -No more. -"...how..." 571 00:43:18.958 --> 00:43:20.208 No, that's a... 572 00:43:20.250 --> 00:43:23.375 [music starts and stops] 573 00:43:23.416 --> 00:43:24.375 No more. 574 00:43:25.833 --> 00:43:29.291 "We could finally tell each other how we felt." 575 00:43:29.333 --> 00:43:30.375 No more! 576 00:43:37.208 --> 00:43:40.375 [Emma plays music through phone, then stops it] 577 00:43:43.291 --> 00:43:47.166 [electronic music starts and stops] 578 00:43:47.208 --> 00:43:49.708 No more! No more. 579 00:43:52.500 --> 00:43:58.208 [music starts and stops] 580 00:44:01.791 --> 00:44:02.958 [music plays, stops] 581 00:44:08.375 --> 00:44:09.416 [music plays, stops] 582 00:44:19.583 --> 00:44:22.916 [techno music plays] 583 00:44:22.958 --> 00:44:24.083 [Emma hums] 584 00:44:28.541 --> 00:44:30.708 [Emma hums] 585 00:44:31.708 --> 00:44:32.750 [music stops] 586 00:44:33.875 --> 00:44:35.958 [music starts and stops] 587 00:44:43.500 --> 00:44:45.125 [new techno song plays through phone] 588 00:44:45.166 --> 00:44:46.583 [Ben sighs] 589 00:45:08.875 --> 00:45:12.958 [gentle music playing] 590 00:46:01.708 --> 00:46:03.583 [game beeping] 591 00:46:11.208 --> 00:46:13.875 [Donna] Our kids were both in preschool, 592 00:46:13.916 --> 00:46:17.833 that's when our families first met. 593 00:46:17.875 --> 00:46:19.583 [Donna] It seemed like Emma was in a lot of pain 594 00:46:19.625 --> 00:46:21.333 and she could scream at us all day long. 595 00:46:21.375 --> 00:46:22.833 There weren't many people 596 00:46:22.875 --> 00:46:24.541 that you could invite into your home 597 00:46:24.583 --> 00:46:27.666 but we could always invite Ben's family. 598 00:46:27.708 --> 00:46:29.458 And they seemed happy to be together, 599 00:46:29.500 --> 00:46:32.458 but there was no way really to gauge 600 00:46:32.500 --> 00:46:34.291 what they felt about each other. 601 00:46:34.333 --> 00:46:35.958 [woman 1] Remember when we all were together in Seattle? 602 00:46:36.000 --> 00:46:38.666 [all laugh] -[man] How about that? -[woman 2] Oh, man! 603 00:46:38.708 --> 00:46:40.208 Alright, to the oldest 604 00:46:40.250 --> 00:46:42.166 -and bestest friends... -Cheers. 605 00:46:42.208 --> 00:46:43.500 -[man] Cheers. -[woman] Come what may. 606 00:46:43.541 --> 00:46:45.125 [Bertra] Come what may. 607 00:46:46.291 --> 00:46:47.375 [Donna] Cheers, Emma, cheers. 608 00:46:47.416 --> 00:46:48.791 Emma can you-- 609 00:46:48.833 --> 00:46:50.250 Open the present, open the present. 610 00:46:50.291 --> 00:46:51.916 [Donna] Emma, can you do cheers with Ben? 611 00:46:51.958 --> 00:46:53.250 -Open the present. -[Ben makes vibrating sounds] 612 00:46:53.291 --> 00:46:54.333 [Donna] Can you do cheers with Emma? 613 00:46:54.375 --> 00:46:55.833 Oh, uh, uh, walk to Target. 614 00:46:55.875 --> 00:46:58.208 After we walk to Target. Can you cheers with Ben? 615 00:46:58.250 --> 00:46:59.541 Go like this. Ben's waiting for you. 616 00:46:59.583 --> 00:47:01.166 -Hold your cup. -Emma's going to Hawaii, 617 00:47:01.208 --> 00:47:03.666 -Emma's going to Hawaii! -There you go, cheers! 618 00:47:03.708 --> 00:47:04.750 Emma's going to Hawaii. 619 00:47:04.791 --> 00:47:06.416 [Donna] Emma is going to Hawaii. 620 00:47:06.458 --> 00:47:09.666 [Naoki] You talk at an incredible speed. 621 00:47:09.708 --> 00:47:12.125 Between thinking something in your head 622 00:47:12.166 --> 00:47:15.333 and saying it, takes you just a split second. 623 00:47:15.375 --> 00:47:17.291 -Uh, Emma's going Target. -[Naoki] To me, 624 00:47:17.333 --> 00:47:19.833 -that's like magic. -Target. 625 00:47:19.875 --> 00:47:22.625 [Naoki] I have to speak in an unknown foreign language 626 00:47:22.666 --> 00:47:26.125 every minute of every day. 627 00:47:26.166 --> 00:47:28.458 [Bertra] Before they actually started communicating 628 00:47:28.500 --> 00:47:30.958 using the letter board, we put words in their mouths 629 00:47:31.000 --> 00:47:32.833 -all the time. -[woman] Yeah, exactly. 630 00:47:32.875 --> 00:47:36.833 You know, just to, kind of, fill up the-- the-- the void. 631 00:47:36.875 --> 00:47:38.583 We would say, "Hey, Ben, dadada." 632 00:47:38.625 --> 00:47:40.291 And then someone else says, "Well, Ben says dadada." 633 00:47:40.333 --> 00:47:43.583 And then, of course, you fast forward fifteen years 634 00:47:43.625 --> 00:47:48.041 and you realize that they-- they have been friends 635 00:47:48.083 --> 00:47:50.916 for so long. That's what makes this unique. 636 00:47:50.958 --> 00:47:55.041 How do you establish and sustain and nurture a friendship... 637 00:47:55.083 --> 00:47:57.375 for twenty years 638 00:47:57.416 --> 00:47:59.666 with no spoken language? 639 00:47:59.708 --> 00:48:02.291 -[man 2] Yeah. -[Emma exclaims] 640 00:48:02.333 --> 00:48:04.625 [Ben makes high pitched sounds] 641 00:48:10.333 --> 00:48:13.208 [Ben makes "S" sounds] 642 00:48:17.291 --> 00:48:18.291 Walk to Target. 643 00:48:26.000 --> 00:48:27.291 Emma's going to Hawaii. 644 00:48:33.875 --> 00:48:35.875 [Emma stops and starts techno music on her phone] 645 00:48:48.916 --> 00:48:50.333 [music stops] 646 00:49:09.166 --> 00:49:12.500 Alright, this is the homework that is due on Tuesday... 647 00:49:12.541 --> 00:49:14.208 [Ben responds affirmatively] 648 00:49:14.250 --> 00:49:17.208 -...um, about Argentina. -[Ben talks indistinctly] 649 00:49:19.708 --> 00:49:21.166 [Donna] Intro to Argentina, 650 00:49:21.208 --> 00:49:23.291 Argentina is the second largest country 651 00:49:23.333 --> 00:49:26.541 in South America, eighth largest in the world, 652 00:49:26.583 --> 00:49:28.708 today it is seen as a democracy. 653 00:49:28.750 --> 00:49:31.416 Okay, we talked about a few famous Argentinians, 654 00:49:31.458 --> 00:49:33.666 we talked about that in class the other day. 655 00:49:33.708 --> 00:49:36.041 -Um... -[Ben makes a low hum] 656 00:49:36.083 --> 00:49:37.083 Emma, do you remember... 657 00:49:38.291 --> 00:49:39.291 who we talked about? 658 00:49:42.791 --> 00:49:45.916 [Donna spells out the letters Emma points to] 659 00:49:49.458 --> 00:49:50.833 Peron. And do you remember there was something 660 00:49:50.875 --> 00:49:54.208 very unique about... 661 00:49:54.250 --> 00:49:56.791 Peron, there was something very unique about him, 662 00:49:56.833 --> 00:49:59.458 because after he died 663 00:49:59.500 --> 00:50:02.250 who was-- who replaced him? 664 00:50:02.291 --> 00:50:03.416 -Touch it. -[Ben sounds out "S" and "T"] 665 00:50:09.250 --> 00:50:11.041 His wife. 666 00:50:11.083 --> 00:50:14.583 -They made a movie about her. -[Emma calls out.] 667 00:50:14.625 --> 00:50:16.375 Yeah, Em, we're gonna have lunch in a little bit. 668 00:50:16.416 --> 00:50:17.916 -[Emma] Oh. -[Donna] After we do 669 00:50:17.958 --> 00:50:19.125 our homework. We're going to do our homework, 670 00:50:19.166 --> 00:50:20.500 then we're gonna take a walk, 671 00:50:20.541 --> 00:50:22.208 and then we're gonna eat our lunch. 672 00:50:22.250 --> 00:50:28.125 Do you guys remember who Peron admired during the war. 673 00:50:28.166 --> 00:50:30.500 -Do you remember who that was? -[Ben responds affirmatively] 674 00:50:30.541 --> 00:50:32.125 We talked about this the other day in class. 675 00:50:44.083 --> 00:50:46.875 Mussolini, that is correct. 676 00:50:49.666 --> 00:50:52.083 They've never been able to do this before. 677 00:50:52.125 --> 00:50:53.541 I mean this is 678 00:50:53.583 --> 00:50:55.458 the first time they've ever had any access 679 00:50:55.500 --> 00:50:56.791 to curriculum. 680 00:50:56.833 --> 00:51:00.583 Emma, what was education like before? 681 00:51:00.625 --> 00:51:01.875 You had these classes to go to? 682 00:51:02.791 --> 00:51:05.083 -T... -T... 683 00:51:05.125 --> 00:51:08.500 [Donna spells out the letters as Emma points to them] 684 00:51:20.083 --> 00:51:22.500 [Emma shouts] 685 00:51:22.541 --> 00:51:24.500 [Donna spells out the letters as Emma points to them] 686 00:51:24.541 --> 00:51:25.750 "They wasted time." 687 00:51:28.708 --> 00:51:30.458 Okay, Ben. How do you feel? 688 00:51:37.708 --> 00:51:38.958 "They"... 689 00:52:11.333 --> 00:52:12.916 "They have denied our civil rights." 690 00:52:12.958 --> 00:52:15.541 [Emma] I'm sorry, Mommy. Sorry, Mommy. 691 00:52:16.333 --> 00:52:17.583 Yeah, I'm sorry. 692 00:52:35.500 --> 00:52:37.916 [Naoki] I used to wonder why nonspeaking me 693 00:52:37.958 --> 00:52:39.083 had ever been born. 694 00:52:44.500 --> 00:52:46.750 Autistic people have no freedom. 695 00:52:49.083 --> 00:52:50.375 We need a place to belong. 696 00:52:52.541 --> 00:52:57.083 This world is our world... there is no other. 697 00:53:43.000 --> 00:53:44.416 [Jestina laughing happily] 698 00:53:45.333 --> 00:53:47.458 [music plays] 699 00:53:57.208 --> 00:53:58.833 [waves crashing] 700 00:53:58.875 --> 00:54:01.916 [sound of fingernails scraping sand from hands] 701 00:54:13.208 --> 00:54:18.166 [Roland] Jestina, she taught me how to be a father. 702 00:54:18.208 --> 00:54:19.708 [Roland patting hands] 703 00:54:19.750 --> 00:54:21.791 The type of love we've got from her 704 00:54:21.833 --> 00:54:25.250 just changes your whole perspective on life. 705 00:54:25.291 --> 00:54:26.500 [hands patting] 706 00:54:33.500 --> 00:54:37.791 -[Jestina humming] -[Roland] Hmm. 707 00:54:37.833 --> 00:54:39.458 [humming continues] 708 00:54:42.208 --> 00:54:43.833 [humming] 709 00:54:45.333 --> 00:54:47.083 [music chimes] 710 00:54:47.125 --> 00:54:48.666 [car horn honking] 711 00:54:55.333 --> 00:54:57.666 I wish I could get a gift that I loved this much! 712 00:54:57.708 --> 00:54:58.708 [Roland chuckles] 713 00:55:04.041 --> 00:55:06.958 Seems like you can buy something so expensive 714 00:55:07.000 --> 00:55:11.666 and, Jes, you're not bothered, but the one that you like, 715 00:55:11.708 --> 00:55:13.916 it's all about the sensory, eh? 716 00:55:17.666 --> 00:55:20.541 [Naoki] Autistic people obsess over certain things 717 00:55:20.583 --> 00:55:22.791 because we'd go crazy if we didn't. 718 00:55:27.916 --> 00:55:32.166 Repetitive things are comforting. 719 00:55:32.208 --> 00:55:36.291 They soothe me and protect me from uncertainty. 720 00:55:36.333 --> 00:55:38.583 [repetitive beeping] 721 00:55:48.833 --> 00:55:51.583 [loud street sounds] 722 00:55:51.625 --> 00:55:54.333 [loud welding sounds] 723 00:56:00.791 --> 00:56:02.375 [car horn honking] 724 00:56:03.458 --> 00:56:05.583 Oh, Jestina, football. 725 00:56:05.625 --> 00:56:08.708 [indistinct football commentary over PA] 726 00:56:11.250 --> 00:56:12.416 Jes, let's go! 727 00:56:12.458 --> 00:56:16.000 [boy commentates in Krio over PA] 728 00:56:17.166 --> 00:56:19.041 [Roland] Okay, it's time to go. 729 00:56:19.083 --> 00:56:21.250 [crowd cheering in distance] 730 00:56:21.291 --> 00:56:24.625 [boy commentates excitedly in Krio over PA] 731 00:56:29.291 --> 00:56:30.791 [Mary] Anywhere in the world, 732 00:56:30.833 --> 00:56:32.125 when you have a child with autism, 733 00:56:32.166 --> 00:56:34.833 there's still a lot of stigma. 734 00:56:34.875 --> 00:56:37.291 As she grew up, I started to realize that 735 00:56:37.333 --> 00:56:39.500 Jes wasn't looked at with love or empathy, 736 00:56:39.541 --> 00:56:41.791 it was with hatred and such negativity. 737 00:56:43.708 --> 00:56:46.500 One day, just outside these gates, 738 00:56:46.541 --> 00:56:48.708 she went into crisis, full-blown crisis, 739 00:56:48.750 --> 00:56:50.750 screaming, head-banging, biting. 740 00:56:52.958 --> 00:56:56.250 And I just saw people, they think... 741 00:56:56.291 --> 00:56:59.333 in Krio, they'll say... [in Krio] " Debul don olan." 742 00:56:59.375 --> 00:57:00.958 So, "the devil has possessed her." 743 00:57:31.750 --> 00:57:34.416 -[exclaims joyfully] -[uplifting music playing] 744 00:57:36.833 --> 00:57:40.083 [laughing and clapping] 745 00:57:47.041 --> 00:57:49.166 [engine revving] 746 00:57:53.083 --> 00:57:54.291 [Mary] Jes knows, right? 747 00:57:56.666 --> 00:57:57.750 [burst of street sounds] 748 00:58:01.958 --> 00:58:02.916 [burst of street sounds] 749 00:58:09.708 --> 00:58:11.416 [loud motorbike sound] 750 00:58:20.791 --> 00:58:21.750 [truck horn honking] 751 00:58:24.000 --> 00:58:25.666 [Mary] Oh, did that scare you? 752 00:58:34.791 --> 00:58:36.500 [Mary] I wanted to meet other parents 753 00:58:36.541 --> 00:58:38.458 with children with autism 754 00:58:38.500 --> 00:58:41.041 'cause I-- I didn't even see such kids on the streets. 755 00:58:43.166 --> 00:58:45.833 So, we started with just going into communities 756 00:58:45.875 --> 00:58:50.791 and quickly realized that the stigma was so bad 757 00:58:50.833 --> 00:58:53.666 that the families were still not really coming out. 758 00:58:55.833 --> 00:58:57.416 The problem is 759 00:58:57.458 --> 00:59:00.458 centuries of misunderstandings about autism 760 00:59:00.500 --> 00:59:02.291 and that's not just in Sierra Leone, 761 00:59:02.333 --> 00:59:03.958 but across the world. 762 00:59:08.125 --> 00:59:09.833 [Mary] So... 763 00:59:09.875 --> 00:59:13.208 [Mary speaking in Krio] Today I want us to share our experiences. 764 00:59:14.333 --> 00:59:17.541 I want people to understand what we all are going through. 765 00:59:19.833 --> 00:59:21.916 My own daughter is here at the back, Jes. 766 00:59:23.791 --> 00:59:26.583 So we're all in the same shoes here. 767 00:59:27.041 --> 00:59:29.625 Truly I can say, I undertand. 768 00:59:34.875 --> 00:59:36.458 [parent 1 speaking in Krio] The neighbors and their children... 769 00:59:37.000 --> 00:59:39.666 they say my child is mad. 770 00:59:40.250 --> 00:59:42.250 And we have to move out... 771 00:59:42.833 --> 00:59:45.416 because of pressure from the community. 772 00:59:47.333 --> 00:59:48.541 [baby babbling] 773 00:59:48.583 --> 00:59:50.375 [man] Next, anybody? 774 00:59:50.416 --> 00:59:52.791 [parent 2 speaking in Krio] Everywhere people call her negative names. 775 00:59:54.250 --> 00:59:55.916 They say she a devil. 776 00:59:56.458 --> 00:59:58.375 They say she a witch. 777 00:59:58.833 --> 01:00:02.166 Some say I myself must be a witch to give birth to her. 778 01:00:03.333 --> 01:00:05.750 Everyone wants me to get rid of this child. 779 01:00:06.125 --> 01:00:08.958 I have done everything I can. 780 01:00:09.750 --> 01:00:12.000 But I don't have anyone to help me. 781 01:00:12.916 --> 01:00:15.791 People tell me to dump her in the river... 782 01:00:16.208 --> 01:00:17.708 So I can find peace. 783 01:00:19.041 --> 01:00:20.833 This is our situation. 784 01:00:29.291 --> 01:00:32.833 Jes, Jes, Jestina! 785 01:00:32.875 --> 01:00:34.208 [Jestina makes low noises of distress] 786 01:00:42.125 --> 01:00:44.250 [Mary] Because of the way autism presents, 787 01:00:44.291 --> 01:00:48.083 the screams, the-- You know, the sudden jumps. 788 01:00:48.125 --> 01:00:49.750 No matter what you do, 789 01:00:49.791 --> 01:00:50.916 you're the family with the devil child. 790 01:01:09.291 --> 01:01:12.958 [electrical hum] 791 01:01:13.000 --> 01:01:16.750 [muezzin calls to prayer] 792 01:01:27.208 --> 01:01:29.583 [Jestina humming] 793 01:01:33.541 --> 01:01:35.625 [indistinct chatter] 794 01:01:40.208 --> 01:01:41.958 [caterpillar crawling] 795 01:01:45.583 --> 01:01:47.333 [gentle piano music playing] 796 01:01:52.000 --> 01:01:55.333 [Naoki] I'm guessing that what touches you in nature 797 01:01:55.375 --> 01:01:58.500 is the beauty of the trees and the flowers and things. 798 01:02:01.666 --> 01:02:04.083 [Naoki] But for me, 799 01:02:04.125 --> 01:02:09.208 however often I'm ignored and pushed away by other people, 800 01:02:09.250 --> 01:02:11.708 nature always embraces me. 801 01:02:17.583 --> 01:02:20.333 [Naoki] When I look at nature, 802 01:02:20.375 --> 01:02:23.833 I receive a sort of permission to be alive in this world. 803 01:02:28.166 --> 01:02:30.833 [crickets chirping] 804 01:02:30.875 --> 01:02:32.791 [Roland] The mentality we have here, 805 01:02:32.833 --> 01:02:35.541 is that we give to children 806 01:02:35.583 --> 01:02:37.583 and we expect them to look after us. 807 01:02:40.166 --> 01:02:42.750 So, when they look at kids with autism, 808 01:02:42.791 --> 01:02:45.500 to them, those children cannot give them back anything. 809 01:02:45.541 --> 01:02:47.000 [vehicle approaching] 810 01:02:47.041 --> 01:02:48.791 And because of the pressure 811 01:02:48.833 --> 01:02:51.083 of the neighborhood, pressure of the community, 812 01:02:51.125 --> 01:02:52.125 they tend to abandon them. 813 01:02:53.625 --> 01:02:55.291 They leave them in the bush. 814 01:02:55.333 --> 01:02:56.958 [insects chirping] 815 01:03:01.541 --> 01:03:03.958 [Mary] Kids like ours, if they are alive, 816 01:03:04.000 --> 01:03:05.375 they're the lucky ones. 817 01:03:19.708 --> 01:03:20.791 [boy makes quiet exclamation] 818 01:03:23.083 --> 01:03:26.000 [cello music plays] 819 01:03:35.333 --> 01:03:36.791 [David] For most of history, 820 01:03:36.833 --> 01:03:38.583 we've assigned autism to demons, 821 01:03:38.625 --> 01:03:40.833 or to witchcraft or in the early 20th century 822 01:03:40.875 --> 01:03:43.875 to 'retardation', um, and-- 823 01:03:43.916 --> 01:03:46.750 And have acted accordingly, I'm afraid. 824 01:03:46.791 --> 01:03:48.125 Um... [clicks tongue] 825 01:03:48.166 --> 01:03:49.791 ...which I don't like to think about, 826 01:03:49.833 --> 01:03:50.916 'cause that would have been my son. 827 01:03:54.666 --> 01:03:56.791 Ah. 828 01:03:56.833 --> 01:03:58.500 [man, on archive recording] Very occasionally, 829 01:03:58.541 --> 01:04:00.291 amongst such severely disturbed children, 830 01:04:00.333 --> 01:04:02.083 a child may be seen 831 01:04:02.125 --> 01:04:03.875 quite out of touch with the rest of the group, 832 01:04:03.916 --> 01:04:06.458 living apparently in a world of its own. 833 01:04:06.500 --> 01:04:09.583 This is a 'psychotic' child. 834 01:04:09.625 --> 01:04:12.208 [man 2, on archive recording] A child with autism suffers 835 01:04:12.250 --> 01:04:16.666 from a very specific kind of a defect in his comprehension, 836 01:04:16.708 --> 01:04:18.500 in his cognitive ability. 837 01:04:20.625 --> 01:04:22.458 [man 3, on archive recording] Eugenics seeks to apply 838 01:04:22.500 --> 01:04:24.291 the known laws of heredity 839 01:04:24.333 --> 01:04:26.750 so as to prevent the degeneration of the race, 840 01:04:26.791 --> 01:04:28.750 and improve its inborn qualities. 841 01:04:31.000 --> 01:04:33.875 [man 4, German archive recording] We call upon a merciful destiny... 842 01:04:34.750 --> 01:04:37.416 to liberate these regrettable creatures... 843 01:04:37.708 --> 01:04:40.375 from their existence without life. 844 01:04:44.875 --> 01:04:48.000 [In English] So, it's always been with us, it's just... 845 01:04:48.041 --> 01:04:51.333 neurotypicals are rubbish at understanding anything 846 01:04:51.375 --> 01:04:52.833 that is not neurotypical. 847 01:04:56.916 --> 01:04:58.458 [Naoki] We are born outside 848 01:04:58.500 --> 01:05:00.833 the regime of your civilization. 849 01:05:05.291 --> 01:05:07.625 With all the killings and planet-wrecking 850 01:05:07.666 --> 01:05:10.208 that humanity has committed, 851 01:05:10.250 --> 01:05:14.000 perhaps autism could help you remember what truly matters. 852 01:05:23.250 --> 01:05:27.541 [both make popping noises to each other] 853 01:05:27.583 --> 01:05:29.916 [Bertra spells out letters Ben points to] 854 01:05:32.833 --> 01:05:35.375 Look at you dancing at your party. 855 01:05:35.416 --> 01:05:37.166 I loved that dancing you did. 856 01:05:39.291 --> 01:05:43.458 Yeah, Jes' turn, okay, she knows, she knows. 857 01:05:43.500 --> 01:05:44.625 Your turn, Jes. 858 01:05:46.000 --> 01:05:48.500 -[exclaims] -Jes' turn. 859 01:05:49.791 --> 01:05:50.916 [Mary] Jes' turn. 860 01:05:52.833 --> 01:05:56.791 -[Roland] Yay! [clapping] -Yay! [claps] 861 01:05:56.833 --> 01:05:58.583 [Roland] We cannot just close our eyes 862 01:05:58.625 --> 01:06:00.333 to what we've seen. 863 01:06:00.375 --> 01:06:03.083 We need to do something about it. 864 01:06:03.125 --> 01:06:05.833 We decided to take it to a different level. 865 01:06:05.875 --> 01:06:09.958 Went to TV stations, radio stations, to go all out, 866 01:06:10.000 --> 01:06:14.250 to get the nation to understand what autism is. 867 01:06:14.291 --> 01:06:16.958 So that they'd be able to walk the streets, 868 01:06:17.000 --> 01:06:18.791 you know, without having that fear. 869 01:06:21.625 --> 01:06:23.000 They need a normal life. 870 01:06:26.125 --> 01:06:29.125 So eventually in 2017 871 01:06:29.166 --> 01:06:31.041 we set up a school. 872 01:06:33.458 --> 01:06:35.208 [teacher] How do you feel? 873 01:06:35.250 --> 01:06:38.458 [all] I feel fine. 874 01:06:38.500 --> 01:06:40.333 [Mary] I started to see a big difference, 875 01:06:40.375 --> 01:06:42.000 in the families' lives and in the kids' lives. 876 01:06:44.208 --> 01:06:47.041 It's certainly the first school of its kind. 877 01:06:47.083 --> 01:06:49.166 And eventually, after many months, 878 01:06:49.208 --> 01:06:51.500 we got the community on our side. 879 01:06:51.541 --> 01:06:54.000 I think they were fearful because they didn't know 880 01:06:54.041 --> 01:06:55.791 what was wrong and all they knew 881 01:06:55.833 --> 01:06:57.875 was these traditional beliefs. 882 01:06:57.916 --> 01:07:00.916 But now though we've seen a total turnaround. 883 01:07:00.958 --> 01:07:03.041 They know most of our kids by name now, 884 01:07:03.083 --> 01:07:05.458 so when they're coming down the road they'll call them, 885 01:07:05.500 --> 01:07:07.458 say "Hi." 886 01:07:07.500 --> 01:07:09.291 So, I think the fact that we now have that relationship 887 01:07:09.333 --> 01:07:12.458 with the community, means our kids are safe there. 888 01:07:13.750 --> 01:07:15.791 [all cheer] 889 01:07:15.833 --> 01:07:18.250 [Mary] The new government has recognized the school 890 01:07:18.291 --> 01:07:22.333 and I think the narrative is changing for Sierra Leone. 891 01:07:22.375 --> 01:07:25.500 What is in the box? 892 01:07:25.541 --> 01:07:29.833 -[all cheering] -You don't know? 893 01:07:31.625 --> 01:07:38.041 -There is a lunch box! -[all cheer] 894 01:07:39.500 --> 01:07:40.916 Who wants to go to school? 895 01:07:45.083 --> 01:07:47.875 [Naoki] I want to grow up learning a million things. 896 01:07:50.625 --> 01:07:53.625 There must be countless other autistic people 897 01:07:53.666 --> 01:07:54.916 who have the same desire. 898 01:07:58.958 --> 01:08:00.916 [Naoki] We too want to grow. 899 01:08:04.250 --> 01:08:06.625 [man] Welcome to North Foreland lighthouse. 900 01:08:07.958 --> 01:08:10.666 It was originally built in 1691. 901 01:08:12.416 --> 01:08:15.708 [woman] It's very high, Joss, very high. [chuckling] 902 01:08:19.125 --> 01:08:21.041 -[Joss] It's a house. -[man] It is a house, 903 01:08:21.083 --> 01:08:22.041 it's a lighthouse. 904 01:08:25.291 --> 01:08:26.791 Can you hear the wind? 905 01:08:35.125 --> 01:08:37.375 [Naoki] The hardest ordeal for me 906 01:08:37.416 --> 01:08:42.416 is the idea that I am causing grief for other people. 907 01:08:42.458 --> 01:08:45.958 Please keep battling alongside me. 908 01:09:01.875 --> 01:09:03.333 [Joss] We're in the color tent! 909 01:09:03.375 --> 01:09:04.583 [Jeremy] We are in the color tent! 910 01:09:04.625 --> 01:09:05.750 [Joss] The boys are happy? 911 01:09:05.791 --> 01:09:07.750 Joss is going back to see Mummy. 912 01:09:10.958 --> 01:09:12.166 [Stevie] Joss, everything is blue! 913 01:09:13.583 --> 01:09:16.875 Everything is red! [laughs] 914 01:09:16.916 --> 01:09:20.000 [Jeremy] We're in the color tent! [laughs] 915 01:09:20.958 --> 01:09:22.291 Oh, Joss! 916 01:09:29.625 --> 01:09:32.625 Right now, Joss is having a joy that I will never come close to. 917 01:09:34.708 --> 01:09:39.833 [Stevie screaming] 918 01:09:43.041 --> 01:09:46.666 [Jeremy] Being with Joss is to live more in the moment. 919 01:09:46.708 --> 01:09:50.708 It's to let go of the long train of things 920 01:09:50.750 --> 01:09:52.833 that we all carry around behind us, 921 01:09:52.875 --> 01:09:56.041 and that interfere with us living now. 922 01:10:20.875 --> 01:10:22.291 [train approaches] 923 01:10:29.625 --> 01:10:32.166 [Naoki] I used to think it would be the best thing 924 01:10:32.208 --> 01:10:35.125 if I could live my life like other people. 925 01:10:35.166 --> 01:10:38.958 But now, even if somebody could change my autism, 926 01:10:39.000 --> 01:10:41.666 -I would choose to stay as I am. 927 01:10:41.708 --> 01:10:42.666 -[train rumbling] 928 01:10:54.416 --> 01:10:58.666 For me, you see, autism is normal. 929 01:10:58.708 --> 01:11:02.333 I can't be sure what your normal is even like. 930 01:11:02.375 --> 01:11:03.625 [birds singing] 931 01:11:05.333 --> 01:11:08.666 [boy makes 'ah' sounds] 932 01:11:08.708 --> 01:11:12.041 [Jeremy] The future is an undiscovered country, 933 01:11:12.083 --> 01:11:16.666 literally, for us, and our hope is that there will be a place 934 01:11:16.708 --> 01:11:20.166 for Joss, there will be a world, there will be a society, 935 01:11:20.208 --> 01:11:22.416 there will be an understanding for Joss that would mean 936 01:11:22.458 --> 01:11:26.250 that when we are not here, he will be okay. 937 01:11:26.291 --> 01:11:29.125 And that's what we-- That's... 938 01:11:31.500 --> 01:11:32.541 [inhales] 939 01:11:33.750 --> 01:11:34.750 That's... 940 01:11:36.583 --> 01:11:39.416 [clicks tongue, sighs] 941 01:11:39.458 --> 01:11:42.916 This is why we don't go to the future very often. 942 01:11:42.958 --> 01:11:46.250 Because the idea that Joss is going to be alone 943 01:11:46.291 --> 01:11:47.291 is really frightening. 944 01:11:50.208 --> 01:11:52.250 [cello music ripples] 945 01:11:52.291 --> 01:11:53.375 [humming] 946 01:12:10.375 --> 01:12:11.833 [Bertra] It sounds like I'm nagging you, 947 01:12:11.875 --> 01:12:14.583 but you know what? I'm getting you ready. 948 01:12:14.625 --> 01:12:16.333 Mommy's not gonna come and fold clothes 949 01:12:16.375 --> 01:12:18.500 at your new apartment. Huh? 950 01:12:18.541 --> 01:12:21.625 I'm not gonna do that! [laughing] 951 01:12:21.666 --> 01:12:22.708 Let's try another way. 952 01:12:30.916 --> 01:12:33.125 And? Hmm? 953 01:12:33.166 --> 01:12:34.333 [Bertra] Keep going, keep going. 954 01:12:36.250 --> 01:12:37.250 Keep going. 955 01:12:39.583 --> 01:12:40.791 Okay, what's next? 956 01:12:43.541 --> 01:12:45.291 [Ben] Hmm. 957 01:12:45.333 --> 01:12:46.958 [Bertra] Look, look, look, come on, Ben! 958 01:12:52.208 --> 01:12:53.291 Try it your way! 959 01:12:55.083 --> 01:12:57.458 Let's see if that works, you may have discovered 960 01:12:57.500 --> 01:13:00.541 a new way, that's better than Mommy's way. 961 01:13:00.583 --> 01:13:02.916 Okay, now what do you do? To get it to look like that, 962 01:13:02.958 --> 01:13:04.458 what are you going to do next? 963 01:13:07.375 --> 01:13:09.958 Ah, interesting, you know, it's interesting! 964 01:13:10.000 --> 01:13:11.333 What do you think? It's gonna be 965 01:13:11.375 --> 01:13:12.416 a little bit different with Mommy 966 01:13:12.458 --> 01:13:13.875 not doing laundry every day. 967 01:13:15.333 --> 01:13:16.500 Hmm? 968 01:13:56.750 --> 01:13:58.875 [inquisitive music playing] 969 01:13:58.916 --> 01:14:00.791 [woman] The building is under construction. 970 01:14:00.833 --> 01:14:02.916 Just got to be careful where we walk. 971 01:14:02.958 --> 01:14:05.500 When you move in in a couple of months 972 01:14:05.541 --> 01:14:07.500 you'll have a full orientation 973 01:14:07.541 --> 01:14:09.916 and tour of everything in the building, 974 01:14:09.958 --> 01:14:13.666 including how the elevators work and where the laundry rooms are. 975 01:14:13.708 --> 01:14:16.041 And today we're gonna take a look at the rooms. 976 01:14:17.750 --> 01:14:21.041 [Emma] Yes! Emma say yes! 977 01:14:28.791 --> 01:14:30.833 [Ben hums happily] 978 01:14:30.875 --> 01:14:33.750 [woman] So, do you want to come look in the bedrooms? 979 01:14:33.791 --> 01:14:34.833 [Emma] Emma say yes! 980 01:14:39.083 --> 01:14:41.375 [Ben hums happily] 981 01:14:58.833 --> 01:15:00.625 [gentle music playing] 982 01:15:00.666 --> 01:15:02.833 [Aarti] So a very warm welcome to everyone gathered here 983 01:15:02.875 --> 01:15:04.625 for Amrit's solo show, 984 01:15:04.666 --> 01:15:06.833 'Metro Diaries, Lives Extraordinaire.' 985 01:15:06.875 --> 01:15:09.416 [applause] 986 01:15:37.708 --> 01:15:41.916 [Ben sounds out "S"] 987 01:15:58.041 --> 01:16:00.000 [Elizabeth] I think we can change the conversation 988 01:16:00.041 --> 01:16:01.833 around autism. 989 01:16:01.875 --> 01:16:03.291 [Ben sounds out "T"] 990 01:16:03.333 --> 01:16:05.791 [Elizabeth] B... Get it. Y. "By..." 991 01:16:05.833 --> 01:16:10.791 [Elizabeth spells out letters as Ben points to them] 992 01:16:11.666 --> 01:16:12.750 "By being..." 993 01:16:17.041 --> 01:16:17.958 " ...part..." 994 01:16:19.916 --> 01:16:20.875 Get it. 995 01:16:21.625 --> 01:16:23.250 "...part of..." 996 01:16:23.291 --> 01:16:26.125 [Elizabeth spells out letters as Ben points to them] 997 01:16:26.166 --> 01:16:27.375 "Part of the..." 998 01:16:30.375 --> 01:16:31.625 Right to it. 999 01:16:33.458 --> 01:16:34.541 Look at it. 1000 01:16:43.250 --> 01:16:45.250 [Elizabeth] "I think we can change the conversation 1001 01:16:45.291 --> 01:16:48.291 around autism by being part of the conversation." 1002 01:16:52.208 --> 01:16:55.125 [choir vocalizing] 1003 01:17:07.166 --> 01:17:09.541 [tinny sound from passer-by's headphones] 1004 01:17:22.833 --> 01:17:24.750 [cello music playing] 1005 01:17:24.791 --> 01:17:27.666 [Naoki] When I was little, there was always a question 1006 01:17:27.708 --> 01:17:30.250 that was a big, big worry. 1007 01:17:30.291 --> 01:17:33.166 What am I going to become? 1008 01:17:33.208 --> 01:17:35.000 Will I ever be able to live properly 1009 01:17:35.041 --> 01:17:36.208 as a human being? 1010 01:17:43.625 --> 01:17:46.666 I don't pretend for a moment that everything I've written 1011 01:17:46.708 --> 01:17:48.625 applies to all autistic people... 1012 01:17:49.666 --> 01:17:51.250 but I wrote this book 1013 01:17:51.291 --> 01:17:54.333 so that you can come to understand me. 1014 01:17:54.375 --> 01:17:56.541 In the hope that my future 1015 01:17:56.583 --> 01:17:58.458 will be connected with your future. 1016 01:18:02.916 --> 01:18:06.041 Above all, that's what I want. 1017 01:18:47.791 --> 01:18:50.625 ♪ Having trouble telling How I feel ♪ 1018 01:18:50.666 --> 01:18:55.541 ♪ But I can dance, Dance, dance ♪ 1019 01:18:55.583 --> 01:18:58.666 ♪ Couldn't possibly tell you How I mean ♪ 1020 01:18:58.708 --> 01:19:02.416 ♪ But I can Dance, dance, dance ♪ 1021 01:19:02.458 --> 01:19:06.291 ♪ So when I'm tripping my feet Look at the beat ♪ 1022 01:19:06.333 --> 01:19:10.458 ♪ The words are written In the sand ♪ 1023 01:19:10.500 --> 01:19:14.166 ♪ When I'm shaking my hips Look for the swing ♪ 1024 01:19:14.208 --> 01:19:18.375 ♪ The words are Written in the air ♪ 1025 01:19:18.416 --> 01:19:25.833 ♪ Ooh dance I was a dancer all along ♪ 1026 01:19:25.875 --> 01:19:29.750 ♪ Dance, dance, dance ♪ 1027 01:19:29.791 --> 01:19:32.958 ♪ Words could never make up For what you do ♪ 1028 01:19:35.166 --> 01:19:38.041 ♪ Easy conversations No such thing ♪ 1029 01:19:38.083 --> 01:19:42.750 ♪ No I'm shy, shy, shy ♪ 1030 01:19:42.791 --> 01:19:47.208 ♪ My hips they lie 'Cause in reality ♪ 1031 01:19:47.250 --> 01:19:49.625 ♪ I'm shy, shy, shy ♪ 1032 01:19:49.666 --> 01:19:53.708 ♪ So when I'm tripping my feet Look at the ground ♪ 1033 01:19:53.750 --> 01:19:57.875 ♪ The words are written In the dust ♪ 1034 01:19:57.916 --> 01:20:01.541 ♪ When I'm shaking my hips Look for the swing ♪ 1035 01:20:01.583 --> 01:20:05.666 ♪ The words are written In the air ♪ 1036 01:20:05.708 --> 01:20:13.083 ♪ Ooh dance I was a dancer all along ♪ 1037 01:20:13.125 --> 01:20:17.041 ♪ Dance, dance, dance ♪ 1038 01:20:17.083 --> 01:20:20.500 ♪ Words could never make up For what you do ♪ 1039 01:20:37.041 --> 01:20:44.458 ♪ Ooh dance I was a dancer all along ♪ 1040 01:20:44.500 --> 01:20:48.250 ♪ Dance, dance, dance ♪ 1041 01:20:48.291 --> 01:20:52.125 ♪ Words could never make up For what you do ♪ 1042 01:20:52.166 --> 01:20:55.750 ♪ Dance, dance, dance ♪ 1043 01:20:55.791 --> 01:21:00.041 ♪ Ooh I was a dancer all along ♪ 1044 01:21:00.083 --> 01:21:03.750 ♪ Dance, dance, dance ♪ 1045 01:21:03.791 --> 01:21:07.791 ♪ Words could never make up For what you do ♪ 1046 01:21:07.833 --> 01:21:15.583 ♪ Dance, dance, dance, dance ♪ 1047 01:21:15.625 --> 01:21:23.375 ♪ Dance, dance, dance, dance ♪ 1048 01:21:23.416 --> 01:21:27.416 ♪ Dance, dance, dance, dance ♪ 1049 01:21:27.458 --> 01:21:31.208 ♪ Oh I was a dancer all along ♪ 1050 01:21:31.250 --> 01:21:34.958 -♪ Dance, dance, dance ♪ -♪ Dance, dance, dance ♪ 1051 01:21:35.000 --> 01:21:39.125 ♪ Now words could never make up For what you do ♪ 1052 01:21:39.166 --> 01:21:46.833 ♪ Dance, dance, dance, dance ♪ 1053 01:21:46.875 --> 01:21:54.625 ♪ Dance, dance, dance, dance ♪ 1054 01:21:54.666 --> 01:21:58.291 ♪ Dance, dance, dance ♪