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Choo choo! Ina Review!
INA REVIEW
Hi. I'm Ina,
reviewing everything in and out of this world, episode one.
Today, I'm reviewing my own ghetto-ness.
This is my wall of debt worth 500,000 baht.
Being in debt is like being married to poverty.
Once you're married, you must find a way to live together.
DECEMBER
I've been paying it off for a year.
I have four more years to go.
It's way too long.
The first year of torture is over.
My salary is a bit over 10,000 minus what I owe.
After I pay my rent, I have exactly 1,500.
Can I get by?
Here are my secrets for saving.
I iron at work.
After work, I stop to pee at the mall and take the toilet paper home.
I do make up like no makeup.
Natural beauty.
It's cheap but chic.
Are you wondering about how I eat? What do I eat to stay alive?
It's bananas grouped by color.
Dark yellow is for today.
Super green is for next week.
Hire me to do reviews at 084-201-3159.
Satisfaction guaranteed.
Anyone who wants to support me,
please feel free to make donations.
Don't forget to subscribe, like, and share my channel.
Choo choo! Ina Review!
SRISAWAD
Enter your info and car photo into the app…
Ma'am, you've already missed two installments.
You have an overdue balance of 18,000 baht.
Ina.
I want to pay,
but I invested the 500,000 I got in the snail mucus cream and…
It isn't selling at all.
Don't trick your student.
Pajayra--
Ma'am.
I remember the Pajayra teacher song,
but the Pajero you pledged as collateral
will get repossessed at the end of this month.
One second, ma'am.
Go ahead, dear.
Hello?
Who's calling?
Ma'am!
I gotta go!
Hey.
Ma'am, you forgot your loafer.
Keep it!
Or toss it!
Hello.
Hi. I need a moment of your time.
Ms. Ina Jitimaim, you accept donations on YouTube, right?
Yes.
I'm Wichai Kuenkow. I'm an official from the tax department.
Buri Ram, zone 14.
The tax department?
That's correct.
You can look up this number
and verify it on the Internet.
One second.
BURI RAM TAX DEPARTMENT, ZONE 14
Okay. Can I help you?
I'm calling to inform you
of a money transfer to your savings account at JNBC
under account number 5-9648-117-48
in the total amount of 55,000 baht.
Did you say 55,000?
AMOUNT OF 500 TRANSFER
What?
YOU HAVE 500 BAHT DEPOSITED INTO YOUR ACCOUNT
Wait.
But there is only 500 baht deposited.
That's correct. We can't release the money into your account yet.
Why?
When donations are made to personal accounts
that aren't qualified as nonprofits,
they fall into tax classification eight
and are subject to withholding tax
at ten percent.
-So I need to transfer 5,500 first. -That's correct.
Then our system will release the money to you.
Then I'll make the transfer now.
TRANSFER
YOUR INTERNET DATA HAS RUN OUT PLEASE TOP UP
Why does it have to run out now?
Give me your account number.
Six-zero-two.
Six-seven-eight.
One-zero-one-zero.
It's 5,500, right?
It's 5,500 in total.
Number 134, please come to window eight.
PLEASE ENTER TRANSFER AMOUNT
CONFIRM
ACCOUNT NAME MR. WICHAI KUENKOW
Wait.
Why is it an individual account name,
not the tax department's account?
We use an official's name for auditing purposes.
MR. WICHAI KUENKOW
CANCEL
One moment. The ATM rejected my card.
I'm switching to another one.
Tangdong, check this account for me.
Who transferred me that last 500 baht?
Who is it?
A call center scammer.
Okay.
Have you completed the transaction?
There's no amount showing.
The ATM is slow.
Please be quick. I have many more calls to make.
Sir,
the number five button is broken.
Will pressing one and four at the same time work?
What's the matter with you? I'm not your friend.
Let me tell you the joke is on you. You're a fake officer.
The account is fake.
Did you steal Mr. Wichai's account?
You scumbag.
You dried piece of dog shit. You parasite.
Hey! Isn't that too harsh?
You haven't lost one baht. I've lost 500.
You deserve it.
You better eat what you crave for now.
You're going to jail.
What can a net weirdo like you do to catch me?
I've conned a cop's wife before.
Ina.
ID CARD MR. TEWA SUPPAPAISAN
Your eyebrows look like leeches.
Mr. Tewa Suppapaisan.
Number 4111 Niwas Road, Isan Sub-district, Muang District,
Buri Ram Province.
-How the hell? -You're screwed.
You're trying to con an ex-banker.
I'm going to post your voice clip online.
You'll be famous. Turn on the TV and watch.
Ellen and Amanpour will be talking about you.
-Wait. -Bye.
I'm so screwed.
Hello?
It's me, Leech Eyebrows.
Don't hang up.
I feel guilty.
Can I pay one month of your installments?
JANUARY
Money can't buy me.
How about I go see you?
It'll just take a minute. You delete the recording,
and I'll knock two post-its off your wall.
JANUARY, FEBRUARY
It's your chance to get someone to pay your debts.
Someone to pay your debts…
Are you there?
If you want the recording deleted, meet me tomorrow.
Hello.
It's the white car.
To your right.
Where? I don't see any cars.
Do you know left from right?
To the right.
Yes, I’m right here.
You stole a car?
Get in the car and let's make a deal.
No. You come out.
You get over here.
I'll only talk in a public space.
Stop!
Not you. Keep moving.
Thank you.
What's wrong with you? Scat.
Jesus. She even talks to a dog.
Stop.
Show me your hands. Lift up your shirt.
Are you armed?
Are you joking?
I'm serious.
Higher.
You're going to see my nipples.
Higher.
Are you a weirdo? Seriously.
You might have weapons up there.
You look like a newborn goat.
So what?
Nothing.
Are you any good at conning people?
I caught you.
I got unlucky. How was I supposed to know you were an ex-banker?
Well?
If you don't talk, I'll leave.
-Bye. -Hold on.
Someone is refusing to pay back what they owe.
If you can get the money back, I will delete the recording.
Who is it?
It's my friend.
Her boy toy took her money.
Your boy toy took your money.
If you don't tell me the truth, I'll just wing it.
-We met through a dating app. -Right.
I was a banker. He was in his fourth year. We dated for two months.
He had money problems, so I wired him 2,000 baht.
You look bigger in person.
Nice teeth like a cob of corn.
Do you like my smile?
If you do, I will smile all the time.
You also look
a lot cuter in person.
Let's switch seats.
Your side has smoke. Your hair will smell.
Oh, right.
I thought of surprising you later.
But since you saw it already, I'll give it to you now.
Here's the money I borrowed from you.
And this
is the interest.
After that meal, we became a couple.
Leaving for Khon Kaen Province.
Drive along.
-What? -Follow me in your car.
Right before graduation,
Petch had money problems again.
I see.
He paid back the money to borrow more later.
So you were his sugar mommy.
How do you know?
It's only a transcript.
Not having one won't matter.
I have the knowledge I need to get by.
But you need a transcript to apply for jobs.
Otherwise, who will believe you really graduated?
How about this? I'll get a bank loan. You can borrow it to pay your tuition.
No, it's okay.
I don't want to bother you.
It's 500,000 baht.
But I want to do it for you.
Really?
The reason I love you more everyday
is because you have a big heart.
It's as big as the ocean.
POLICE STATION
Ina.
Do you want me to pay back what I don't owe?
I wanted to take care of you forever.
But now that I see this side of you,
I don't think we should be together.
Petch.
Petch, wait!
I won't ask you to pay anymore. Don't pay me back.
But please don't leave me.
You can stay.
But I'm leaving.
The cop said I gave the money willingly. There was no contract.
-This guy is something. -Why are you giving him props?
No. I'm just analyzing him.
There you have it.
The end of my happiness. The cause of my pain.
The deadbeat ex.
-Follow me. -Hey.
KANOKPON TOUR
This is Ms. Kanokpon.
Petch is leeching off of her.
She owns a bunch of tour branches. She lets Petch be the manager here.
That's him.
How much do you want?
I want 500,000.
I'll do it.
Delete the recording now.
Okay.
PARASITE CONS EX-BANKER.MP3
The name makes me want to toss your phone.
It's done. I deleted it.
Can I ask you something first?
Do you think Petch meant to con me from the start?
"The reason I love you more every day
is because you are
kindhearted."
"Your heart is as big as the ocean."
-What? -I read his lips just now.
He said it to Kanokpon.
Liar.
"Let's kill this love, rum, pum, pum, pum."
"Cupcake cooks cook cupcakes."
You con artist with tiny nipple tits.
What is your problem with my nipples?
Hey!
Hey. Chill out.
I don't fancy weirdos.
What's your name?
Tower.
-Is that your real name? -I just made it up.
All right?
Are there no more questions?
PARASITE
I've got an awesome plan.
URGENT BUSINESS CARDS
Our plan is to trick Petch into booking a hotel.
We'll pretend to be the hotel staff
and wait for the money from Petch.
Will someone in the tour business fall for a hotel scam?
He knows more than us.
Using what he knows well
makes the con work.
First of all,
we must disguise ourselves and survey the hotel.
I already picked the hotel.
It's the Le Grand Khon Kaen.
"CBP"? What does it stand for?
Check Bill Petch.
I like it. It's a good name.
By the way,
use fake names.
Okay, boss. Let's do it.
Unless necessary, don't speak.
If you get in a jam,
just smile. Okay?
Hello.
Welcome to Le Grand Khon Kaen.
Sorry to keep you waiting.
I'm from Chok Boon Pa Travel, Buri Ram.
-I would like-- -I'm sorry
for not making an appointment.
Actually, we are here to sherbet.
"Sherbet"?
She meant we came to do a survey.
I see. A survey.
I'm Yingyod. This is my secretary.
Ina Jitimaim.
Your drink is so refreshing.
Oh, yes.
-It's amazing. -Yes.
I'm Sam.
-Did you see that? -Yes.
Samson.
My full name is Seksan Srangsuansua.
You can call me Sam or Samson.
Whatever suits you.
Whatever is easiest.
Our hotel has these kinds of rooms.
Standard superior, 300 rooms.
Deluxe special, 43 rooms.
And our best seller…
Executive suite, 30 rooms.
They come with a workstation, Jacuzzi, and free minibar refills.
Our service is superb.
Is his splash guard broken?
Hey.
We can talk and drink. Please.
Your coffee is getting cold.
Drink some.
We aren't coffee people.
Right.
How about I get the help to bring you some orange juice?
Orange juice.
-How about-- -Mr. Sam.
May I have the executive suite rate?
Sure.
The tour rate is lower than the walk-in rate
by ten to forty percent
depending on the season. I'll check.
He should be quarantined.
Do you have tissue?
-No. -What?
Use this so you don't get the virus.
Here. Mister--
Mister--
-Yingyod. -Yes, Yingyod.
Mr. Yingyod.
I'm so forgetful.
No.
-What? -What?
I forgot to feed the dog this morning.
-I see. -I'm forgetful.
Me too.
Hey.
It seems the air conditioner is leaking.
I'll call the repairman.
-Mr. Sam. -Yes?
Do you know Petch from Kanokpon Tour?
Yes, I know him.
We meet often. Petch always brings us customers.
Do you know him?
We meet sometimes at tour operator seminars.
Petch is very nice.
During holidays, he always sends me gifts.
Sometimes, he lets me go abroad for free.
But never mind. I'm just saying.
Have you seen the Northern lights in Russia?
It's very bright around this time.
No. I've only seen pictures. I've always wanted to go.
You're in luck. I have a quota for a round trip ticket.
No, we don't.
We do.
If you say so, Mr. Yingyod.
But I think it's just to Myanmar.
What?
I checked the email and I'm sure it said Russia,
not Myanmar.
Go check again. Go.
My secretary hasn't been thinking straight lately.
-Can I have a few pieces of A4 paper? -Sure.
So,
I'll arrange your ticket to Russia right away.
Suzie, my girlfriend, will complain
if I go see the Northern lights alone.
I'll make it two.
That's too much.
It's over our budget.
Don't worry. I'll get you two tickets.
-To Russia? -Yes, sir.
-Please prepare to take time off. -You're a true hustler, Mr. Yingyod.
I'll buy some Heattech.
How much will be left of my 500,000?
You need to invest a bit.
It will ruin our plan, letting Sam run into Petch.
If we include the costs,
how much should we con out of him? Is 550,000 enough?
Three million.
That's funny.
This plan will need more than just us.
What?
Our goal is three million baht.
You and the person who will play the client,
you're amateurs. You get 500,000 each.
That's one million gone.
The person who will take Sam's place
and wait for the money is a pro. His fee is one million.
And the last million?
For me, the mastermind.
-No way. -Why?
We made a deal already.
You deleted the recording.
I work a con to get money.
I'm not a saint who helps people for free.
I knew that you would be like this.
About your recording, I didn't really delete it.
Hey!
Delete the clip.
PARASITE CONS EX-BANKER.MP3
CANCEL
It's done. I deleted it.
I also knew you'd be like this.
So I deleted it myself.
It's gone!
We're going to con three million out of him.
I am as bad as you.
Don't stress.
Conning a bad guy doesn't make us bad.
He must learn a hard lesson,
so he knows what it's like to be conned.
Make him remember.
Make sure he cons no one again.
There. That's my elementary school Chinese teacher.
She's currently in debt to my company.
Her car is about to get repossessed.
She needs cash more than anyone in Buri Ram.
Are you leaving already?
See? Nobody wants to go near her. They're afraid she'll borrow their money.
She can speak Chinese.
She's the best choice to play the Chinese client.
We'll give her a makeover to look rich.
Let's go. It's a deal.
Eat.
Jiat.
Eat rice.
Jiat beung.
Drink tea.
-Jiat de. -Freeloader.
You bootlicker!
She's good. She's a quick thinker.
Okay.
You will be our bait.
You'll play a foxy rich cougar
to attract our wolf.
You might need to lead Petch on.
Petch likes to con women.
We're going to use this to our advantage.
A wolf thinks only about attacking its prey.
He would never suspect
that a sheep would trick him.
Let's go wolf hunting.
Why do we have to meet Petch in Bangkok?
We can go to Kanokpon Tour in Khon Kaen.
-It's much closer. -I don't know.
An office will make us look more legit.
We're conning three million out of him, not 300.
Right.
How can we go up to the office?
We won't.
We will tell Petch to meet us at the lobby.
I started the game by contacting Petch already,
posing as someone from Lhingwu, a Chinese beer company.
I emailed Kanokpon Tour.
I created a fake email account
and made it look like Lhingwu's company email.
I said I wanted him to arrange a tour.
The email was signed by Ms. Kluay, Secretary of Ms. Liu, the CEO.
It caught Petch's eye and he replied right away.
Hey!
We agreed to meet at Lhingwu's office at 10:00 a.m.
All done.
Lhingwu Beer on the 12th floor, please.
Okay.
Here.
SECRETARY KLUAY
KLUAY LHINGWU SEE YOU AT THE COFFEE SHOP IN THE LOBBY
-I'm sorry. -Yes?
I won't be going up. May I have my ID?
Of course.
Here.
CEO LIU
Bye-bye, Yingyod, my buddy.
Sam took off.
We have six days and five nights before he comes back.
Hey.
Ni hao.
Hi. I'm Liu,
the CEO of Lhingwu Beer Thailand.
Hello. I'm Petch from Kanokpon Tour.
I never thought the owner would come down herself.
I must apologize.
My office upstairs is a mess.
The repairman changed his schedule.
That's why I changed our meeting to here.
It's not a problem.
I told you.
She's the campfire star. She's always the best performer.
Damn. Look at her go.
Please have a seat.
Ms. Liu.
Switch seats with me. The sun is in your eyes.
Please.
Excuse me. I need to take this call.
Please.
I have a meeting today. I'll be in Shanghai in two days.
Have the contract drafted.
Ten million yuan is fine.
Your accent is very charming.
You sound like a Chinese movie star.
What did my assistant inform you about?
She had me book 30 rooms at a five-star hotel
for the research and management team.
The Chinese team wants to survey the rice in the Northeast
to develop a new beer formula.
I see. I brought you a list of five-star hotels.
I think
you will like it for sure.
I'm sure I will.
I wish I was 20 years younger.
Oh, well.
-Jesus. -My goodness.
This is a public space. You can't stretch your legs here.
Mind your manners.
-Are you doing yoga? -I'm sorry.
Why don't you just lie down?
Damn it.
Sir.
How can you talk to your boss like that?
What boss?
I'm my own boss! The coffee spilled on my nipples. They're swelling.
"He's an employee at your company."
"He's being disrespectful to you."
"Aren't you going to scold him?"
"Don't expect me to apologize, lady!"
"I'm not wrong." Damn it.
Who said that?
Me!
She can't hear her phone.
He works at Lhingwu.
-How come he doesn't know you? -How old are you?
You're lucky I don't call you auntie.
I'm not saying sorry.
Go be bossy at home.
I'm not apologizing. I'd rather say sorry to a cat.
Hey!
I'll have to discipline my staff.
What department are you from?
Didn't they inform you that
the head office would send me here
to reorganize this company?
You don't care about the company's affairs.
You're clueless about who comes and goes.
Cross your arms.
Do you know Lhingwu's Chinese motto?
No, I don't.
Study hard.
Have discipline.
Be in pursuit of virtue.
I'll send you to study Lhingwu's motto in China for a year.
Go say goodbye to your wife.
I'm sorry. Don't send me away.
My kid is still small. My wife is young.
My cat at home is old. Please don't send me away.
I'm sorry.
I won't hold it against you.
But please pay attention and care more
-about our company. -Yes, ma'am.
Otherwise, I'll deduct your merit points.
What?
Yes, ma'am.
I--
Oh, right.
We have a system of awarding merit points to our staff.
That was close.
You're up next.
Get ready. Keep him distracted.
Here you go.
I recommend these two hotels,
The Royal and Le Grand Khon Kaen.
The Royal is cheaper.
It must be Le Grand only, Petch.
And I need to have the most expensive rooms
because the care of my partners needs to be perfect.
They bring me hundreds of millions each year.
As in yuan, not baht.
Oh, one moment.
-Hello. -Get his phone.
Petch, may I borrow your phone to calculate the yuan exchange rate?
Sure.
He's handing his phone to her.
Go!
-Ms. Liu. -Yes?
Will you excuse me?
Take your time.
Ina, what are you doing in Bangkok?
-Hey. -Petch.
What happened?
Nothing happened.
-I happen-- -What?
I happen to be in trouble.
My new boyfriend beats me.
He beats me every day.
I had to move to Bangkok
to find a job.
NO RESULTS
What did he save Sam's number as?
Who is your boyfriend?
He's a boxer.
Do you know him? He's Vin Diesel The Rock Cena McGregor.
Let the police help you. I'm with a client.
Petch.
Le Grand.
NO RESULTS
Did you find it?
Not yet.
Do you have Tony Jaa's number?
-I need to learn how to fight. -Stop it.
You know how to fight. You can teach me. Come on.
Petch.
Petch, I lied.
I want you back. Let's get back together.
-Petch! -Hey!
What are you doing? People are staring.
S--
It's Zamzun!
Oh, shit.
PLEASE DRAW YOUR PATTERN
What's wrong with you?
Let me go. Let go.
Let me go.
Okay. Turn around.
I let my hair go. Are you happy?
Have you lost it?
Do you need to see a doctor?
Petch.
Can I go stay with you?
-Ina, let go! -I can be your driver.
I love you so much.
I'll do anything! I mean it!
Shit. She's not holding back.
A diamond, huh?
If you need a kidney, you can have mine.
Mission accomplished. You're mine.
You can take my kidney.
Take one of my kidneys.
Take it! Take my kidney!
Petch!
EDIT
Excuse me.
This seat,
is it taken?
Go ahead.
SAVE
She's a senior who stalked me back in school.
You're super charming.
Are you done with my phone?
What?
Well?
Petch!
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for--
Killing this love, rum, pum, pum, pum, pum.
Ms. Liu.
I'm really sorry.
It's all right.
You're cute. I'm not surprised that girls are crazy for you.
Here.
-Your phone. -Thanks.
I'll call the hotel to make your booking then.
Hey.
PETCH KANOKPON TOUR
DECLINE
FAKE SAMSON
I'M AT A SEMINAR IN RUSSIA. MY SALES GUY, PONGSAKORN, WILL CALL.
The hotel just sent me a message.
Their head of sales went abroad,
but they will send someone in his place.
But after today,
can I contact you directly?
If you don't call,
I'll be mad at you.
Even if you get mad, I'm good at making up.
Aren't you being too emotional?
Patch up your pants. The edge of your panties are showing.
Not even close.
SECRETARY KLUAY
Is that a distraction technique?
What technique?
You're distracting me.
You wish.
RESIDENT PARKING ONLY
SECRETARY KLUAY
PARASITE
SAVE
WICHAI, TEWA, YINGYOD, SECRETARY KLUAY, TOWER
Ina.
Look. Petch just sent me a flirty message.
Is it okay that I miss you?
He sent me a goodnight sticker. What should I do?
Send him a heart spam.
Fire away.
MOM
Hello, Mom.
Is Petch still paying you back?
He pays me every month.
Are you together or did you break up without telling me?
We are still smitten.
Good. Remind him to send money on the nose.
If they take the land, I'll have no place to sleep.
If he gets a bonus,
I'll use it to close our debt.
It's good if you can close it.
I won't let the bank take your land, Mom.
Hey.
I'm hungry.
Let's go find something to eat.
WILAI'S PORK BLOOD SOUP
Were you asleep or awake?
You weren't reading my lips, right?
You're so full of yourself.
You're not that interesting.
What would you like to drink?
Iced coffee, chrysanthemum, or longan juice?
The tea is fine. It's free.
Took you long enough.
Where did you learn to read lips?
Well,
when I was in jail,
the TV was on, but the sound was off.
So, I learned to read lips.
I don't believe everything I hear.
You're lying. I can tell.
If you can see through people,
how did you get conned out of 500,000?
When you're in love, you believe anything.
Who would think the person you love will con you?
You have no girlfriend. You won't understand.
Here's your pork blood soup with no blood.
Won't you answer me?
Silence is my answer.
My answer is no.
It's boring.
Flirting is like conning.
Guys just fake being nice
to get in your pants.
It's just another con.
I won't argue with you. A dummy like me won't win.
Hey.
It has nothing to do with being dumb.
You only have one problem.
You met a bad guy. That’s all.
You know what they say.
A player on the field can't read the game.
It's mushy.
This is so mushy.
Hey.
-Look and tell me what it is. -I don't know.
It's yummy.
Excuse me. What is this?
I'm not sure. Open your mouth wider.
Wilai, come look at this.
What is this? It's yummy.
It's either spleen or kidney.
I'm not sure.
It's intestine.
Wow. Your car is fierce.
But you drive slow like my grandma.
I don't like to drive fast.
I get car sick when the car goes fast.
-Film it but don't post it. -Choo choo.
I'm Ina, reviewing everything in and out of this world, episode two.
Today, I'm reviewing sleeping in a convertible.
Why do you sleep in your car? What's good about it?
It's easy to get away.
It's an answer that befits a con artist.
Con artists must sleep in their cars.
Hey!
A picture of St. Basil's Cathedral for my buddy.
The booking details for 30 executive suites.
For the duration of 30 days, the total price is
three…
TOTAL OF 3,600,000 BAHT
You said we would do three million.
What is this?
You're conning 600,000 more out of him?
No. I left room to negotiate.
Come on.
Here.
A tour company normally transfers money to the hotel.
We won't get that money. So what do we do?
We give him a discount as bait.
Pressure him to pay cash.
Pay cash to get a discount.
You took that from a food promotion.
The guy who plays the salesman is coming.
He's never late.
Is he a man or a ghost?
How amazing.
He's my brother.
His name is Jone.
Jones as in an English name?
It's Jone as in a crook in Thai.
-How are you? -Damn.
Is that how young people say hi?
I'm good.
Here.
Show me some love.
I carried you since your willy was a tiny lizard.
Now, it is a gecko.
He's embarrassed.
He likes to be carried since he was little.
When I rock him, he falls asleep.
It's a flawless plan with lots of details.
I trained him myself.
Can we trust this guy?
Of course. We crawled out together.
Are you siblings? You don't look alike.
We crawled out of prison together.
Three million, bro.
Later.
He came like a crook.
And took off like a thief.
Mr. Petch.
I'm Pongsakorn from Le Grand Hotel.
Mr. Sam told me to call you.
Please tell me all the requirements.
Thank you.
We arrived at the airport.
Aren't you getting out, sir?
I changed my plans.
Please drop me off in town.
Mr. Petch, I'm in front of Kanokpon Tour.
Please come in.
The weather is very hot.
GRAND TOTAL OF 3,600,000 BAHT
It says 3.6 million.
That's correct.
Is 2.7 million okay?
May I?
One moment.
I can accommodate you at 3.5 million.
If this price is still too high,
I must apologize on the hotel's behalf.
I'll have to keep the rooms.
How about 2.8 million?
If I sell you the rooms at this price, it's like I'm signing my resignation.
That's okay.
I'll try to talk to the client about changing hotels.
For our next deal,
I'll try to be of more help.
I must apologize for today.
I'll see myself out. Goodbye.
It must be Le Grand only.
The care of my partners must be perfect.
You see,
I want to give you the price you ask for.
But with this much discount,
I'll need to consult with the GM.
Thank you.
Just a little rain on the window sometimes
Just a little rain on holiday
It might be
Even myself I don't know What day I'm with you
Always sleepwalking and daydreaming Every time I look up
In the sky a drop of dew falls in my eyes
And within today, How tomorrow will I walk and eat
Will I allow the day and time To walk how far
But alas the morning sun was not Glowing bright
Okay, boss. Thank you.
That looked intense.
I had a lot to discuss with the GM.
This is the best price we can offer you.
We can give you 3.3 million.
-I think-- -But--
My GM proposed that
if you can pay in cash,
we can go as low as three million.
If this price is okay, we can settle the payment terms.
Is everything okay?
Our plan is on
target!
Jone.
Get in before Petch sees you.
Petch is calling.
We need to play hard to get.
Ms. Liu is having dinner with a client.
She can't answer her phone.
Do you have black clothes?
My condolences. He was so young.
-No blood, please. -No blood?
No.
-Here. -Spoon, please.
-Here. -Thank you.
Chinese noodles, Pavilion 2.
You call this dinner?
I imagined a fancy dinner.
If you want to eat fancy, eat that.
It's food for nobles.
More like funereal disposals.
Would you like some crooked goods?
Steamed banana sticky rice, Pavilion 4.
Jone told me
he taught you the art of conning when you were five.
Really?
I was his distraction technique.
How?
I was such a cute kid then.
Jone took me to a gold shop.
He used me as a decoy.
I see. So he picked you up this morning
to reminisce about the past.
Every time we meet, he picks me up.
So what you said about crawling out of prison together,
is that for real?
Yes.
We got arrested once.
I'll play one hand.
-Hurry. -Here's two.
-I'll win again. -Here.
Freeze, everyone!
-This is the police. -Hold it. Stop.
-You used to be a cop? -Yes.
You're all under arrest.
Damn it! A cop is here!
Something's wrong.
Are you going to listen?
-Continue. -Okay.
Save yourselves! Leave everything!
Scat.
Deputy Inspector, I'm off to another gambling ring.
Copy that.
I know what happened next.
You ran into the real deal.
Yes. I almost shit my pants.
Hey.
Let me go.
I told you not to gamble, right?
What station are you from?
The city station.
I'm from the city station too. You don't look familiar.
Hey. Don't stop.
Keep the headlock on.
Let me go.
Hey. I actually know a lieutenant colonel.
A police lieutenant colonel?
Colonel KFC Sanders!
It was game over.
Now we will call Petch.
Ask him to pay the hotel in advance.
It's up to Ms. Liu whether we'll get the money.
Lead him on so this wolf howls in heat.
-Baa. -Baa.
Baa.
-Baa. -Baa.
-Call Petch right now. -Damn.
Hello, Ms. Liu.
I was going to call and update you about the hotel.
I'm so sorry, Petch.
I was having dinner with a client.
I couldn't answer your call.
Goodness. You must be tired from working so late.
I'm not tired at all.
-Hey. -What?
You're very dedicated.
You work all day without any complaints.
I can't do half as much as you.
You are truly a working woman.
"Oh, but it would be nice to have someone take care of me."
Oh, my. Keep talking like that and I might fall for you.
I closed the deal on the hotel
and made an appointment to make the payment.
Please arrange the payment accordingly.
Can you pay in advance first?
My company is closed for the holidays.
I'll pay you back after New Year's.
Pay in advance?
I'm sorry, Ms. Liu.
My company can't make an advance payment.
Then I'll postpone paying the hotel until after New Year's.
Sam will be back by then.
There's no need to hurry. We still have time.
"I'm afraid we will lose our booking."
"Cremate…"
I can't hear you clearly. Cremate…
Cremate what?
Can't wait to pay after New Year's.
Can't wait!
I see. If it's about that, it's okay.
Don't worry. It's not a problem if we lose the booking.
The Royal is just as good.
No.
I told you that I only want Le Grand.
Didn't I make myself clear?
Hey.
Why did you hang up?
Well, I'm pissed. Why did he try to sell me the Royal?
Petch, how about this?
I will use my personal money to pay you a million baht deposit.
Actually, I want to pay for it all,
but I just bought a sports car
and I don't have enough cash.
But after New Year's, I will pay you in full.
Then--
Okay.
But can I ride in your sports car?
My car is four years old.
Will your company loan me a million for it?
I think so.
-Cool. -Hey.
Are you loaning money to pay Ms. Liu's deposit?
Even if Petch pays us, we will only get two million.
I've got a plan on how to not use that million.
What?
Do you know cashier's checks?
This is a cashier's check scam.
It will get us our three million.
I'll pledge my car for cash.
After I get the money, I'll fly to Bangkok.
I'll buy a cashier's check at Lhingwu Building.
Make the check out to Petch Prateepnon.
I'll send a picture to Ms. Nongnuch.
She will forward the picture to Petch.
Petch, this is Liu.
I issued a cashier's check to you and sent you the picture.
Please check if your name is correct.
My name is correct.
I'm going to Kalasin tomorrow to visit a rice farm.
The plane lands in Khon Kaen.
Please come pick up your check.
What flight will you be on?
Do you want me to drive you to Kalasin?
No need.
A driver will pick me up.
Tomorrow when you meet Petch,
pretend you forgot the cashier's check.
Will Petch believe me?
-He won't. -What?
He will call the bank. The bank will verify for us
that the check has been issued.
Then we will cancel the check later.
This will save us from losing any money.
This world is such a scary place.
Are these dogs or polar bears?
Tomorrow I will go hunting for the Northern lights.
I'm so excited!
Ms. Liu.
It's for the most beautiful woman I know.
This is so cute. It will make me miss you.
My goodness. Why am I so forgetful?
I forgot to bring you the check.
What a bummer.
I really wanted to give it to you in person.
What?
But I made an appointment to make the payment this afternoon.
What should we do?
I'm really sorry.
I will call my secretary to send you the check.
It will arrive at your office tomorrow.
Petch, can you pay the hotel first?
Can you?
No problem, Ms. Liu.
I will advance the money and pay first.
You're so sweet.
Goodness. It's time for my car to pick me up.
I have to go now. I'll see you later.
Okay. I will see you off with a smile here.
Okay. Bye.
See you.
I'd like to verify a check.
Who is the check made out to?
It's made out to Petch Prateepnon.
What is the amount?
One million baht.
What's the check number?
It's 10475727.
The information matches.
A cashier's check of one million baht
has been issued at JNBC, Bangkok Space branch.
Which room do you want?
Any room is fine.
Welcome to the executive suite
where we will celebrate our success tonight.
Let's have a fancy dinner.
After Jone gets the money, let's meet up.
My treat.
I haven't slept in a bed in so long.
After this job, you won't have to sleep in the car anymore.
You're avoiding me.
The lights are sound controlled.
You're drunk.
Shit!
Damn it.
Yingyod, my lovely buddy.
I didn't get to see the Northern Lights.
A husky bit my girl in the face.
We're going back to Thailand.
Damn. This will be close.
I'm sober now.
Jesus.
Goodness.
Find something to cover up the smell.
You reek of alcohol. Go.
I bet Bangkok can smell him.
His whole body reeks.
You forgot to zip up.
My gun is smoking!
Tower.
Today,
let's CBP, Check Bill Petch.
Have you been waiting long?
Not really.
I drafted the contract.
TOTAL OF 3,000,000 BAHT
Today, I'll pay one million as deposit.
We need to revise the contract.
When I get the money from the client, I will pay you the rest.
One million should guarantee that
I want the rooms for sure.
May I?
Have a look.
TOTAL OF 3,300,000 BAHT
If you pay in installments, it must be 3.3 million.
If you want the three million rate,
you have to pay the full amount within today.
A million?
He's so tricky.
Then I'll wait for Sam to return.
He's easier to talk to
since we are real close.
Mr. Petch, hold on.
He will only pay as much as he got for the deposit.
Is it game on or game over?
It's game over.
This plan is dead.
A million in 4 to 5 days is quite okay.
What about the two sheep at the hotel?
What do you want to do?
Cut them loose.
Take 500,000 each and split up.
Take care, bro.
CONTRACT
ARTICLE 1 I, TEWA SUPPAPAISAN,
PROMISE THAT WHEN CBP-CHECK BILL PETCH IS DONE,
I WILL STOP CONNING PEOPLE AND USE MY ABILITIES
TO EARN AN HONEST LIVING
BANGKOK
Mr. Tower's reservation?
This way, please.
You go in first.
Okay.
Please follow me.
NICE EX-BANKER
DECLINE
You want me to change the ice for the oysters?
They aren't coming.
Let's eat. It's all good food.
It's delicious.
I, TEWA SUPPAPAISAN, PROMISE THAT WHEN CBP-CHECK BILL PETCH IS DONE
Ina Review. Choo choo.
Hello.
I review everything in and out of this world, episode three.
Today, I will review
my misfortune at 25.
It just happened.
What happened?
A con artist scammed me.
I drove slowly, so I just arrived.
You planned it from the start,
to stab us in the back.
If you know the answer, why ask?
Do you enjoy seeing me look dumb?
Hey.
Do you enjoy seeing me look dumb?
Do you think I'll be mad?
Do you think I'm hurt?
I'm not.
If you don't know how to lie, stop talking.
There he is,
the call center scammer.
He's a Southeast Asian man.
He's a 30-year-old criminal.
He can't be trusted. He's a tricky swindler.
I was naive enough to trust him.
I was fooled over and over again.
Do you know what Ina stands for?
It stands for "ignorant."
I am stupid.
-Enough already. -I'm stupid.
-I'm stupid! -I said enough!
Stop crying.
Do you see?
No one dies from being conned out of money.
It just breaks your heart.
It makes you want to run into an electric pole and die.
You know…
I trusted you.
I really trusted you.
I'm a con man.
You know I can't be trusted.
Why did you come back?
Stop thinking about me and focus on keeping your mom's land.
You read my lips.
Have you ever told me the truth?
Petch only paid one million.
I've got a plan to con another two million out of him.
We can split the money as planned.
Or do you want to keep lying to your mom?
I'll continue with the plan.
Under one condition.
I'll be the last person who holds the money.
Deal.
Can we still trust him?
No.
I don't trust him anymore.
I'm back from Russia.
All my peeps who are passing by Le Grand,
don't forget to stop by and pick up your gifts.
It's chocolate vodka.
Don't eat too much or you'll get drunk off your butt.
Hello. What's up, bro?
Jone.
I changed my mind. Let's see this through.
Here they come.
The photographers you met last night,
the deceased's family hired them every night.
Okay. I see.
Hello. I called you this morning.
I want to rent this place to do a photo shoot.
-Okay. -Yes.
Have you ever taken pictures of cars?
We volunteer for nonprofit organizations.
We take photos of car accidents. Is that okay?
His legs are completely twisted.
I like it. It's high fashion.
When do you need us?
This afternoon. Are you free?
Before we begin this new plan,
we need Petch to trust us again.
We must con him using what we talked to him about before.
Hello, Ms. Liu.
Petch.
What I said about sending you the check--
There's been a change of plans.
From Kalasin, I'll stop by Buri Ram.
I will have a messenger send the check to me instead.
Are you free to pick up the check?
I have something to show you.
Sounds good.
Where are you staying?
Ms. Liu, I've missed you.
Your check is in my room.
You can come and get it tonight.
Will Petch fall for it?
I got Jone to find something big to grab his attention.
He will forget about the check.
When I bought a sports car, I bought it from this guy.
How are you?
Ms. Liu.
Here.
This is Auto.
He imports super-cars to sell.
He is the owner of a big rice mill in Buri Ram.
He gives us advice about the rice for Lhingwu beer.
Petch is the owner of a tour company in Khon Kaen.
I see.
Have you ridden in a Ferrari?
Would you like to try?
Yes.
Then let's go to my rice mill.
It's wide open.
RENTAL MANUAL
-Do you normally drive fast? -I'm not fast.
I'm furiously fast!
I usually go over 100.
When I want to have fun,
I do 200.
So what are you waiting for?
Let's step on it.
Wow. We're flying.
Yes.
Let's go.
I looked it up on the Internet.
It says a Ferrari can go from zero to 200 in 11 seconds.
Yes.
Let's test this car's limit.
Right now, my body craves speed.
Ms. Liu might mind.
This is a new car.
Come on. This is a Ferrari.
Let's do it!
Come on!
Let's go!
-Go faster. -Faster?
Yes!
Press the pedal to the metal.
Faster!
Top speed all the way!
Wow! There it is!
A turtle!
There's a turtle!
Look out!
Damn!
That drift was beautiful just like in Furious 7.
You should buy one.
Vin Diesel.
The plan is for Ms. Liu to get Petch to invest
in a sports car at a special price.
But there is one condition.
Both of you need to invest two million
and agree to pay cash in person.
Our side will invest two million.
The first million is from the money Petch gave us.
The second million is
from this check.
But it needs to be cashed in only in Bangkok.
I will sign a power of attorney.
You must cash it in at the Lhingwu Building
where it was issued.
Hey, Auto.
Is this the car for my partner?
You got it.
I'm sure your partner will love it.
This color is limited edition.
I borrowed it to promote my page.
Go ahead.
Okay.
Let's see.
Can you capture the power of the engine?
Summon the wild horse's spirit from the grille of the car.
Can I take a photo for my partner to see?
Snap away.
I will sell you the car for four million.
The market price is six million.
You're giving me a two-million margin.
I don't want to make a profit.
I want to make an impression on my partner.
Take it. I made enough from selling you the Ferrari.
We're friends.
You're so good to me, Auto.
I have one condition though.
I want four million in cash today.
I just bought a Ferrari.
I'm afraid I won't have enough cash.
Then this car will have to go to your frenemy, Mr. Chok.
Is Chok interested?
-Very. -I won't let that happen.
I'll sell some stocks at a loss so I can buy this car.
That's good. Why would you keep losing stocks
when you can profit from this?
Petch.
Do you want to invest with me for two million each?
I won't have to sell lots of stocks.
I'm afraid it won't be worth it when the prices go up.
Ms. Liu.
I don't want an outsider involved.
Sorry, dude.
I understand.
Auto, can you let Petch in on the investment?
He isn't an outsider.
He is with me.
Don't give me a hard time.
I want him to have a piece of the cake.
If you vouch for him, I'm okay with it.
If you want to give him some cake, I won't stand in your way.
But you have to buy it under your name only.
You can't tell anybody.
Dude.
You're a lucky guy.
Petch, actually,
I really just want to impress my partner.
As for the profit,
I will give it all to you.
Ms. Liu, don't pressure him.
He isn't rich like you.
When is the deadline?
I'll see Chok this evening.
If you won't take it, he's ready to drive off with it.
Then you should prepare to apologize to Mr. Chok.
Can you get two million by this afternoon?
I think so.
I want to cancel this cashier's check.
Here's one million baht.
Ms. Kanokpon.
What is it, Petch?
My friend invited me to buy land.
He told me to buy it now.
When the high-speed train is finished,
the price will triple.
Really? That's interesting.
Can I borrow two million from you?
I have to pay him this evening.
Could you let me borrow the money?
I'm a bit short this month.
I just bought you a BMW.
You don't need to do any side hustles.
I have to go. A client is calling.
I'll have a truck transport the Ferrari for you.
If you want the Mustang for real,
I can send both cars to you.
So can you get the money?
Well, I--
If I take out two million now,
it will affect my company's cash flow.
Petch.
I already asked for a favor from Auto.
Petch doesn't have enough money. I will buy the car myself.
Auto, can I ride with you to finalize the payment?
Sure.
I will take Auto out for dinner.
I will let you know when you can pick up the check.
I'll leave it at the lobby.
Let's go.
Shit.
He's on the fence. Let's pick Ina up at the airport.
Hello. Who's calling?
Hello, Petch.
This is Samson.
Didn't you save my number?
I saved it.
I have your number saved.
I was on holiday in Russia, so you couldn't contact me.
Holiday?
Yes.
It was so cold.
I had to wear four layers of sweaters,
like playing Russian roulette with snow.
Sam.
But you texted me that you went to a seminar.
You had Mr. Pongsakorn deal with me instead.
No.
Our hotel has nobody named Pongsakorn.
Who is Pongsakorn?
I didn't have anyone deal with you.
Sam, I have to go. Something came up.
A cashier's check payable to Petch Prateepnon
has been canceled.
Do you have any other inquires…
Shit.
How many people?
Two million in total.
Hey!
An ant bit my foot.
-How many people? -Two people.
I know everything.
I saw them pick you up at the airport.
You're working with those con artists
to con me out of money.
I've lost a million of my savings.
Do I deserve this?
If you never tricked me, do you think I would do this?
You deserve to lose that one million.
I could report them to the police, but I didn't.
It's because you're involved.
I never thought
that what I did to you
would make you go this far.
I admit
I intended to fool you
and Kanokpon.
But the things I did,
I did it to survive.
It's what you're doing.
It's not the same. Not at all.
I'm really sorry.
It's too late to be sorry.
I know.
Right now, I can only think about
how I can make it up to you.
Because good people like you
shouldn't get involved with those con artists.
I'll play along and give them two million.
If you can get all the money back,
we'll get two million from those guys.
Do you want me to betray them?
I just want my one million back.
You can have the other million.
I just want to help you.
Ina.
Do you really think
those con artists next door
will share the money with you?
After I give them the money,
can you find a way to get it back?
Can you do that for me?
PETCH (KANOKPON TOUR)
Petch is calling.
Answer it.
I want in too.
Where are you now?
PETCH PRATEEPNON
I'll withdraw two million.
Here's two million baht.
I want to thank you for this opportunity.
Where's the contract?
It's here. I have it ready.
Do you any problems with it?
Well,
not at all.
Okay.
Right.
No need to count it. The two million is all there.
You can trust me.
I'm not afraid it's short.
I'm afraid it's over.
He won't carry the money himself.
He will leave the money with me
in this room,
so I can go to the bank to deposit everybody's share.
Let's help each other out.
Ina.
I care about you.
You guys are quite daring.
You saw a picture in a chat
and agreed to buy a six-million-baht car.
It's normal.
We all trust each other.
We don't cheat.
The lamb stew here is good.
You should order some.
I don't like stew.
It stinks.
Thank you, Ms. Liu.
It's on you now.
Ina, good job.
Petch!
Did you trick me again?
Hey. You should know me better by now.
-I watch your reviews. -Petch.
Next episode, review how stupid you are.
Lots of people will watch for real.
Petch.
Stop smiling.
The one who should be smiling
is me!
Did you really think
I would be that stupid to trust a jerk like you again?
The plan is
for Ms. Liu to get Petch to invest in a sports car at a special price.
This plan won't work.
Petch gets easy money from women. Why would he invest?
We don't have any sheep left.
You have me.
I’m still Petch's sheep.
Can you find a way to put me in the plan?
Then you'll have to pretend to betray us.
You should prepare to apologize to Mr. Chok.
Hello, Sam?
Can you call Petch from Kanokpon Tour?
I ran into him and he said he couldn't reach you.
Hello.
Sam.
-But you texted me-- -"But you texted me
that you went to a seminar."
"You had Mr. Pongsakorn deal with me instead."
-He's coming. -Awesome.
Don't block the way. Petch is behind us.
Show your face a bit, so he sees you clearly.
Shit.
Ina.
I care about you.
Care my ass!
It's on you now.
Hey.
Take his picture when he realizes the truth.
Don't be paranoid. He has no clue.
I'm reviewing stupidity now,
and it's your stupidity.
Check Bill Petch.
Hey!
Damn it!
FYI.
There are criminals posing as our hotel staff.
Any customers who suffered any damage, please call me.
This con job will not end nicely!
It won't end nicely!
MS. KANOKPON
Hello, Ms. Kanokpon.
Don't sweet-talk me.
Your ex sent me your voice clip.
I admit I intended to fool you and Kanokpon.
Come on.
It's easy to edit a clip these days.
You need to listen to what I'm saying now.
I'm not listening. Get out of my company.
Don't try to take my BMW with you
or I will sue you, you jackass!
Okay, you hag! If you want to sue me, go ahead.
This voice clip can't be used as evidence.
I won't sue you in court.
I will report this to Ellen, my bestie.
You'll have no standing in society.
You can wait by the TV. The world will know who you are.
Whatever.
Are you done talking, you hag?
No!
If you report those people who sent me the clip to the police,
you better buy life insurance.
You'll be dead.
Damn it!
Mommy!
Good job. Ina Jitimaim.
Hold on.
Baa.
-Baa. -Baa.
Give me a special discount next time.
Okay.
Here's three million.
This is Tower's and yours as we agreed.
Thank you, Jone.
Thank you.
You’re a quick learner.
I'm sorry for getting you involved in this.
What are you talking about?
We won't talk about this for the rest of our lives.
Do you understand?
Okay.
Thanks.
Here. This is your cut.
-One, two, three. -One, two, three.
What's next?
Songkran is coming up.
Let's do an air ticket scam.
I'll be the decoy.
You can be an airline agent, okay?
Sure.
But I want no pregnant women, no old people,
nobody in debt, and no you.
You don't want me!
You are a con artist.
She is a good girl.
It won't work.
Trust this crook.
I know.
I'm so relieved.
Thank you, Tower.
Was it worth it?
NICE EX-BANKER
I'm a con man.
You know I can't be trusted.
Why did you come back?
Seeing your smile makes it worth it.
ARTICLE 1 I, TEWA SUPPAPAISAN,
PROMISE THAT WHEN CBP-CHECK BILL PETCH IS DONE,
I'LL STOP CONNING PEOPLE AND USE MY ABILITIES TO EARN AN HONEST LIVING
TEWA SUPPAPAISAN
Thank you.
And
don't get conned again.
Okay.
Tower.
I'm taking your money to do a tour scam.
I will return it someday. You can trust this crook.
Damn you, Jone!
What?
Article two, if Mr. Tewa complies with requirement number one,
I, Ms. Ina Jitimaim,
will be happy to get to know Mr. Tewa Suppapaisan.
Ina Jitimaim.
OVERDUE BALANCE OF 50,000 BAHT
MR. TEWA SUPPAPAISAN LOAN TOTAL 1,000,000 BAHT
Hello, Mr. Tewa.
Who's speaking?
I'm Ina Jitimaim. I'm a debt collector at Srisawad.
Hello?
Are you still there?
I'm listening.
I'm calling to inform you
that your loan payment is overdue by one week.
I know.
I have no money right now.
Can I postpone the payment?
Are you having financial problems?
I invested the money in a tour agency.
We were on lockdown for two months.
We just started to have customers.
CHOK BOON PA TRAVEL
Please bring your business documents to the company.
We can come up with a compromise.
When?
How about tomorrow?
Okay.
Do you have
any other inquiries?
I do.
Do you have a boyfriend yet?
Is it too late to tell you that I like you?
VISITING ROOM
How are you, youngsters?
What's up? Jone Crook.
I'm a crook in jail.
Since COVID hit us,
people got scared and returned all their tickets.
I couldn't move the money in time.
It was game over.
Will you quit being a con artist?
Are you dating?
I'm conning her now.
And you?
You know he's conning you.
You willing to be conned?
I am.
Then if nobody has any objections,
the groom may kiss the bride.
Thanks, bro.
Subtitle translation by: Joey Vajrabukka