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[alarm beeping]
[in Xhosa and Zulu] ♪ You make me angry ♪
♪ I don't want you To make me smile again ♪
♪ I don't want to see you This pain won't heal ♪
♪ Girl, I said I'd leave ♪
-♪ You make me angry ♪ -♪ Girl, I said I'd leave ♪
♪ I don't want you To make me smile again ♪
♪ Our love is getting destroyed ♪
♪ I don't want to see you This pain won't heal ♪
♪ But you're like that Don't destroy it... ♪
[song continues on car radio]
-[cars honking] -Oh, my God. Okay, sorry!
Sorry! Shit.
-[cars honking] -Yes. Okay, okay, okay.
♪ You kick up dust You kick up dust ♪
♪ A car doesn't start like that It doesn't start like that when it moves ♪
♪ Pack my bags and hit the road And pack my bags and hit the road ♪
♪ And pack my bags and hit the road ♪
♪ Do you hear me, baby? You're gonna make me angry ♪
[delivery man whistling]
[in Zulu] Ma'am.
Uh...
[in Afrikaans] Delivery...
[secretary in English] Yes?
[delivery man] For...
Dineo Mudau.
Happy Valentine's Day, everybody!
Sheesh! Why is everybody so anti-love?
I've been married for 12 years already.
[Nick in Tswana] Dineo, my friend. Home girl.
[in English] Nick, Nick. Didn't you say HR gave you a warning
regarding cultural appropriation in the workplace?
HR? I am the... [in Tswana] "Who's the boss?"
-[in English] That doesn't make sense. -Listen.
Are you ready to wow DJ Fresh with a social media plan
for his Fresh Protein shake?
Yay!
-[in Afrikaans] What a shitty name. -[Pam] So shitty.
-[in English] That's-- -[delivery man] Sorry.
Sorry, sorry. Dineo Mudau.
-[Dineo] Yes. Yes, that's me. -Oh!
Oi. All right.
It's from Simphiwe, you guys. [giggles]
-My boyfriend. -What happened to Themba?
He ghosted her three months ago.
-[Dineo] You know I can hear you, Pam? -Yep.
You know what? Do me a favor...
and livestream this.
Okay.
[inhales deeply] Go.
-So-- -[Pam] Sorry.
-Hang on. -Okay.
[chuckles] It's the... okay.
-So, you guys-- -Whoa!
-Oh, Pam, come on. -Sorry. It's...
-[Dineo] Pam. -Go!
You guys, my boyfriend just surprised me at work for Valentine's Day!
I mean, talk about hashtag, love lives here.
Right? Let's see.
-[Nick] Toiletry bag? -[Pam scoffs]
I never gave my girlfriend a toiletry bag.
Oh! He's surprising me with a getaway, a weekend thing or something!
That's amazing! That's amazing!
[delivery man] Sorry, my sister.
-Sister. -Yeah, what?
I think it's longer than a weekend.
Gents!
[Nick in Tswana] Home girl...
[in English] Did you just get dumped on Valentine's Day?
Uh, turn that off, Pam.
-[Pam] You're getting loads of comments. -Turn it off.
Turn it off, Pam, now!
[Dineo] I can't believe I suffered lockjaw for two days for this shit!
How...
Pam?
-Hmm? -Don't tell me you're still recording.
[scoffs] No.
Pam! Shit!
[dance music playing]
[crowd cheering]
Hey, do you work for Lumka and Johnson Accounting?
-No. -Good.
Then we have clearance from HR.
I think we should go back to your place. Yeah?
Give me a second.
[groans]
Eish!
And then?
[door opens]
[Noni] Didi?
Didi?
-Didi? -[groaning]
-Friend, I think I ate something bad. -I've heard you take a shit.
-That's not what you sound like. -[Dineo] You don't know everything.
[laughs] So you're not on Simphiwe's profile?
-No. -Babe,
-give me your phone. -No!
I didn't bring you to an office party to spend the whole night in the toilet.
I didn't want to come to this stupid party anyway.
[Noni gasps] Friend, you're so ungrateful.
-Don't you wanna get laid? -I want love. Okay?
Maybe a little lay.
You won't get any of that from a toilet seat,
so get your ass out here so we can get you on your back and get you laid.
Laid.
I think your hands are clean now, Mam' Thandi.
Friend, it's been three weeks. You need to get over it.
I can't. Noni, I can't, okay?
He was the love of my life, you know? And we were gonna get married.
You were together for two months.
It was two and a half months and you know it.
-Give me your phone. -No.
[gasps]
-What? You think I won't go in there? -Hey!
[both laughing]
Hey! Leave me!
Didi, you forget I'm older than you! Learn to respect your elders!
Didi...
[door opens and closes]
Noni, you know what? No...
-No, we're too old for this. -Yes.
I agree. [breathing heavily]
[Noni yelps]
[muffled scream]
[inaudible]
[horn honking loudly]
If this is spiked, my ancestors are gonna come after you.
I don't need to do that to get a girl.
Ugh! You men. You men don't get how hard we love.
-What do you mean? -Yes.
-We love hard. -Oh...
-We love hard when it's the right girl. -Right!
Right, I was the right girl.
I was, and then he just dumped me anyway.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. You're not supposed to talk about your old man with your new man.
-With whose man? -No. Not that you...
Not that you're the new man. I just meant, like... I...
Okay, my best friend Noni,
she's been telling me to get back on my bounce-back game.
-Okay. -And I guess you're bounceable.
-Wow. Okay. -No, no, no, no, no.
Not sex bounce, rebound bounce. Although that didn't sound...
-I'm sorry. -You asking me to have sex with you?
-'Cause I will. -[chokes and coughs]
-[Lunga] I'm sorry. -[coughing]
I'm sorry. Here you go.
-Here you go. Are you okay? -Yeah.
Yeah. Why would you say that?
-Why wouldn't I? -Steve Harvey says,
"If you wanna keep a guy, you shouldn't sleep with him on the first night."
Oh...
Okay, tell me, how's that working out for you so far?
-[scoffs] -[Lunga] Mmm.
So...
I mean, what are you trying to say?
Do you stick around long after you've slept with a girl?
I mean, it's not about the sex.
You know, sometimes relationships aren't meant to last.
So we should enjoy them while we can.
[Dineo] Hmm.
Right?
[Dineo] Mmm-hmm.
You have little bit of, uh... okay.
-Got it? -Yeah, got it.
[dance music playing]
[kisses and grunts]
It was great meeting you.
Friend. Ah! I can already see you naming your babies.
-I'm not naming anything. -Mmm.
But Lunga Junior sounds cute. His friends will call him LJ, Noni.
The only LJ you should be thinking about's the one in his pants.
Yeah, that's your style, not mine.
Fine. In that case, let's go home.
I think I've made out with everyone I can make out with here. Wait.
-Yeah, I'm done here. -Noni...
is he your client? Does he have a girlfriend?
No, actually, what's his tax bracket?
Yes, I don't know, and none of your business. Let's go.
No, you go. Bye.
[chuckles] Okay. Well, you better BJ that LJ. You know...
[Noni imitating climaxing]
[in Tswana] What are you looking at?
[in Zulu] Whatever. Leave me alone.
[chuckles]
[Dineo in English] What? Wait, wait, wait. No, wait. Where are you taking me?
-[Lunga] You're gonna love it, trust me. -I'm gonna love it.
-Be careful. -Okay.
Oh, wow.
What?
Wow.
-[Lunga] Yeah. -Yeah.
You know what? Just, let me...
-[Lunga] All right. -Hold that.
Okay. Just...
Proof...
that I'm having a good time.
Whoa, no, no, no. You don't have to prove anything to him.
-Really? -Mystery is more effective.
Right. Clearly you've never had your heart broken.
-I mean, I've had bad breakups. -That's a no.
[Lunga laughs]
And what?
What, you can just... move on?
Why hold on to the past when your future could be standing right in front of you?
That's what you want, don't you?
You know...
I... I don't sleep with just anyone.
I want someone to come home to.
Is that Steve Harvey again?
You say you want someone to come home to?
I say it's better to have someone to go home with.
[grunts and groans]
What?
[man snoring]
Just...
[snoring continues]
-[snores loudly] -[gasps]
[man mumbling]
[in Xhosa] Mom said you're stuffing your mouth with food.
[in English] God.
-[cell phone vibrating] -[exclaims] Ow!
[vibrating continues]
[whispering] Noni, this is not a good time.
Where the hell are you?
Wait.
[automated voice] You have been placed on hold. Please wait.
-[thuds] -[grunts softly]
[whispers] What?
Where the hell are you?
You told me to sleep with him. [sniffs]
-So I slept with him. -You shouldn't still be there!
No one should be in anyone's bed at this time!
Wait. Why are you yelling?
Just come home, okay?
Hi, handsome.
No, Dineo.
Hey. How did you... No.
Morning!
You got this.
[camera shutter clicks]
Hey! Hey.
You're such a typical bachelor. Nothing in your fridge. But lucky for you,
-I know a very great, nice... -Oh, shit!
What?
I have a flight boarding in an hour.
-Well, can't you change your flight? -I can't. I have a...
a work thing.
Oh!
Well...
What is this? What? Are you kicking me out?
Uh, no, no, no. You... No, I'm sorry. You stay.
Just, uh... leave the keys with security.
Okay, when will you be back?
Uh, tomorrow night.
Wait, will I... will I see you again? Lunga?
I really wish we had more time.
[Dineo] Okay, go.
Go, you're gonna miss your flight.
Bye!
-[door closes] -[squeals]
[chuckles]
[sighs]
[Noni] Pictures of him sleeping is an eight on the stalker scale.
[Dineo] It's not stalking if we've had sex.
You know, it was supposed to be a one-night stand like mine.
But with less piercings.
We need to stop doing that, by the way. You really... Aren't you, like, 45 now?
[in Afrikaans] Piss off.
-[in English] Okay, sorry, 50. -Hey.
[Dineo chuckles]
I'm a chartered accountant living her best life
and I don't need anyone to fund it.
Bitch, I'm killing 35.
I don't know. That doesn't keep you warm at night.
Oh, there's a whole world of men for that, and some women, too.
There's only one man I want.
[sighs]
You don't even have his phone number.
I have these.
This one's getting a restraining order against you.
I'll have to sleep with the Minister of Police for you.
-Oh, just for me? -Yeah.
-Not because you want to? -No, he's cute, but hashtag, contre-jour.
[laughing] Friend!
-Shit, this is good. -It's good?
-[Noni] Easy now. -It's not...
[coughs] Oh, friend.
[Noni] Do you choke on your guys the way you choke on smoke?
[Dineo gasps]
[pots clattering]
[cutlery clattering]
Hey! Who's in there?
[objects clattering]
I have a lethal weapon that I'm not afraid to use.
[Dineo] It's me!
-It's me. [giggling] -Shit!
What... what are you doing here?
I thought you'd be hungry after your flight, so I cooked you dinner.
I didn't say you could move in.
I... I didn't move in.
[Lunga sighs] Okay.
-Dineo. -Hmm?
This?
This was a one-time thing.
I don't under... I don't understand. [laughs]
I thought you said that you wished we had more time.
[stammers] And I told you that I don't sleep with just anybody, so...
Every girl says that.
Wow.
So now I'm a squatter and I'm a ho.
No, I'm not... That's not what I mean. All I'm saying is...
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
This is a full chicken, woman.
It's not the food's fault. I was just saying...
Are these takeaway boxes? I thought you said you cooked.
Take... pfft!
[scoffs] So... Okay, so I was a squatter, a ho, and now I can't cook.
-You are just on a roll. -I didn't say any of that.
Listen, listen, listen...
I didn't say any of that. I'm just saying...
Okay, okay.
Dineo, I'm just saying, if you came home, okay, and found some guy in your flat,
-how would you feel? -Lucky.
That I have pepper spray in my bag.
-Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. -Right?
-[scoffs] -I get it.
I'll go, and you can... eat.
And this thong was bugging me anyway.
Wait, wait, wait. No, let's not... Wait, don't go.
I mean... You know, I just...
Uh, I mean, you've made all this effort.
We shouldn't, you know...
We shouldn't let all this go to waste. Right?
-Right. -Yeah, and, I mean, if...
if that thong is annoying you, I can do something about that.
Yeah.
-You know what? We should actually stop. -Sorry.
-We... yeah.
We should definitely...
We should stop.
I mean, we could stop tomorrow.
Yep. Tomorrow, yeah... I was actually gonna say tomorrow.
-'Cause tomorrow... Yeah. -Tomorrow...
-That's it. Tomorrow. -Tomorrow works.
-Tomorrow. Okay, good. -[Lunga] I...
[pop music playing on radio]
[in Xhosa] ♪ Just hold me, hold me ♪
♪ Just pat me, pat me ♪
♪ Just kiss me ♪
♪ Just hold me, hold me ♪
♪ Just pat me, pat me ♪
♪ Just kiss me ♪
This week, I have to bring my A game.
I'm thinking cupcakes or muffins or cake. What do you think?
Why wouldn't they use vanilla icing?
I've never heard of gluten-free icing. What?
[club music playing]
[man] And there you go.
Oh, it's like that.
Mmm-hmm.
[Noni] Oh, no, I'm not gonna order any food. Thanks.
-Seriously? -What?
We had sex a month ago and you're still treating me like the help. What's up?
Oh, don't you work here?
Actually, the more you talk,
the less I want to have sexual intercourse with you again.
Really?
[stammers] Well, I mean, if you put it like that, I...
[Dineo] Put your boobs away. You're torturing Maxie.
[Max in Xhosa] No, I'm okay.
[in English] Don't you have a bar to tend or toilets to scrub or whatever?
[in Xhosa] Listen, I'm the manager here.
[in English] Okay?
And FYI... I only do the toilets on Mondays.
[chuckles] He could get us free drinks.
[Noni] Listen, I'm not wasting time talking about men.
-I never ever get to see you. -You've seen me.
Once. When you came to the house to pick up your things.
-You're not even on social media anymore. -Lunga's a private person.
Uh-uh, no one's that private anymore.
I thought you didn't wanna talk about men. What's this?
-I'm here for you. -Because your boyfriend made better plans.
He has a work thing.
-See, that's another weird thing. -What?
Who has a work thing on a Saturday night after 8:00?
His boss is hectic, that's why he works on weekends,
Nondumiso, if you must know.
Any man who's using work as an excuse is working more than just spreadsheets.
Lunga is different, okay?
-[Noni] Mmm-hmm. -Mmm-hmm.
And how many of his friends have you met, his colleagues?
I've met, like... [scoffs]
Like, one person from his workplace. He's not lying.
I'll prove it to you.
-I'm joking, man. I'm playing. -No.
-[line ringing] -[clears throat]
He's not answering?
-That doesn't mean anything. -Okay.
[line ringing]
-[man] Yo! -Hi, Phathu!
Yes, it's Dineo.
-Dineo? -Yeah. I just wanted to find out...
Phathu? Hel...
He just hung up on me.
Then let's just order drinks and go dancing.
Max! Can you manage us some shots there, brother?
-Phathu just checked in online. -Where?
A hotel?
His meeting is in a hotel?
Which room is Lunga Sibiya in?
Uh, excuse my friend. He's not in a room, he's in a meeting.
-[Noni] In a hotel? -[Dineo] Noni.
[receptionist] Are you two here for...
[growls]
What's... [growls]
And does... [growls] have anything to do with his meeting?
Mmm-hmm. [laughing heartily]
Okay! Okay, yes, then we are here for... [growls]
[Noni] Mmm-hmm.
Room Pollux.
[Noni] What?
-Pollux? -Pollux? Let's go, come on.
Pollux.
-[receptionist growls] -Okay. Thanks.
Weirdo.
[bass thumping]
Wait. Are you sure about this?
I...
All I'm saying is that her neck tastes like batteries, man.
[exclaims]
Gents, we've got the premium stock!
-[men cheering] -[man] Come in. Come in.
[in Zulu] Come in.
[in English] But why so many clothes? Come on. Come on, girls.
And somebody better find that hamster!
That's my daughter's hamster. We need it for school, Monday.
If you ever wanna wank again, keep your hands to yourself.
I like you. Hey. [chuckles]
I think we're in the wrong room.
-Oh, no! -Yes.
Gonna get your chance with the groom. He's just in the bathroom with someone.
Yeah, actually, we don't care about the groom.
We actually don't care...
[men cheering]
[man 1] Yes!
[man 2] My man!
-[Dineo] What? -I think Lunga is the groom.
-[woman yelps] -[objects clatter]
Noni thinks you're cheating on me. I need you to tell her you're not.
No, just tell her. Just tell her that you're not cheating on me.
-Can we-- -Tell her you're not.
-Can we-- -Tell her you're not!
Okay, um... I... I'm not cheating on you.
[Dineo] See? Told you he's not cheating on me.
I'm getting married.
[Dineo] Huh?
Okay.
[Lunga] Dineo?
[man in Zulu] And then, you?
-[in English] What are you doing? -Reparations.
[chuckles]
[exclaiming] Call me.
-[door closes] -Oh. [chuckles]
Um, hi. So, Mr. DJ Fresh's team called about the campaign again.
-Shit! -Yeah, my thoughts exactly.
So I think we're gonna try and reschedule the presentation to,
I don't know, the first week of June.
Pam, I need your FB logins.
Did you hear anything I said?
You say a lot, but what you're not telling me is your FB login, so...
I'm not on social media.
You work at a whole social media agency. How do you not have social media?
'Cause my therapist thinks it's bad for my self-esteem.
Fuck it!
[Pam] Is everything okay?
-[laptop chimes] -I'm in.
I'm in, I'm in, I'm in! Great. That's good. That's great.
Not so great.
[whistling]
Hey.
Dineo Mudau, ooh!
[in Pedi] How are you?
You know, right?
[in English] Gents?
Another holiday.
[delivery man laughing]
[in Pedi] Let's go. This chick likes holidays.
[in English] You know, maybe you should see my therapist.
[scoffs]
[laptop chimes]
Okay. Okay.
[screams]
What the...
[exclaims] What the...
Walk away. Walk away.
No, no, no.
Hi! You must be Gugu.
You know, the chocolate fondant here is to die for. You should try it.
-Five-star rating. Amazing. -Okay, just...
-Give me a second, okay? Dineo. -What?
-[Lunga] Really? -What? Come on. What?
[Lunga] What are you doing?
Really? So we're back to the stalking?
Wait. Did I make this all up in my head?
Are we not in love?
No. No, we were just two people having fun.
Okay, so why didn't you say that? Why didn't you just tell me the truth, hmm?
-Lunga. -[Lunga] Hey.
[in Zulu] What's going on here?
[in English] No, nothing. Baby... Um...
Did you meet? This, um...
-My-- -Don't worry about it.
I'm just his maid.
-I thought you were done with that. -I am.
Baby, I'm done. I promise you, I'm done with all that.
I... I'm done.
Okay? You're here with me now,
and I don't need anyone else but you. Okay?
Come here.
[Dineo] Let's go!
Do you know what you're gonna say this time?
-I know what I'm gonna say. -Okay.
-Exactly. I've got this under control. -Okay.
-Hi! -Whoa, whoa, whoa!
[in Zulu] Hold it. You're late.
[in English] Okay, uh...
[in Zulu] You're late, you see?
The bride said that I mustn't let anyone in after her.
[in English] So, bye-bye.
[guard laughing] No, no!
-Okay, listen-- -Ah! No!
[Dineo] Okay, okay.
How about that?
[in Zulu] Hundred rand?
[in English] How about that?
-Two hundred? -[Dineo] Two hundred.
Yes! Okay, so we're good.
Okay, no, no. [chuckles]
Bye-bye.
[both exclaim]
-Let's just-- -I'm the officer of the law.
[in Zulu] Do you think that this is the Durban July?
You and your floral jumpsuit. No, man.
[in English] This is a sign. You shouldn't do this.
Oh, no. I'm not giving up.
Didi.
Nondumiso... I think it's time to go back to our waitressing days.
Didi... Didi!
[Dineo] Oh!
-[Noni] Keep it together. -It's heavy.
Well, this was your idea.
These are the hands of a social media manager, not a waiter.
And the mind of a psycho bitch.
[priest in Zulu] Amen, congregation.
[guests in English] Amen.
[priest in Zulu] Lunga Sibiya, do you take Gugu Diomo...
[in English] ...to be your lawful wedded wife?
-[whispering] Wait, wait, wait! -[priest] To have and to hold...
What are you gonna say? Are you just gonna say,
-"Hi, Gugu, your man's a dog. He's--" -[priest] For richer or for poorer.
[priest in Zulu] Even when there's no money, hmm?
[in English] To love and to honor till death do you part?
-No, wait. -[guests exclaim]
[in Zulu] Oh, goodness. Not again, Lord.
[Noni in English] Shit. Is he...
I know we weren't gonna do vows, but I need to say something.
We've been through a lot together.
Two months ago, this wedding wasn't even gonna happen anymore.
But here we are.
And, Gugu, I am so happy...
that I finally have someone to come home to.
Forever.
-Yeah! -[dish clatters]
Even me. I quit!
-And then? -[Noni] We're going, man.
Didi!
Maxie. Another one, please.
She needs it, okay? I'll handle her.
[Max] Well...
-Friend! Am I not pretty enough? -[Noni mumbles]
-I'm pretty, right? -Yeah.
I'm pretty. Or maybe I need to be yellow.
I need to be yellow and have a bum. And make my ass clap.
Because I can make my ass clap.
-Oh, I can twerk. Look. Look, friend. -[glass shatters]
♪ Twerking by the bar Twerking by the bar ♪
Literally nothing is moving, okay?
-Just sit, friend. -Really?
Sit. [chuckles]
-You know what, wena? -Hmm?
You have been a couple since I've known you in varsity.
You need to be alone and have some fun.
-[in Sotho] Right? -[in Xhosa] Yes.
-You're right, you know? -Yes, my friend.
-[in English] To being done with men! -Yes!
[whooping]
[in Zulu] Jeez.
[in English] I'm done with you.
-And you. And you. -[Noni] Mmm-hmm.
[Dineo] You're kinda cute. Hey!
-Hey. -That literally lasted, like, two seconds.
No, no, no!
I'm done with relationships. I'm just like you.
-Good. -I'm gonna go pee.
-Okay. -Okay?
-Okay. -Okay.
-[exclaims]
I'm okay!
I'm okay.
-Hi. [giggles] -[Noni] Uh-oh.
What was your name again?
-[man] Muneer. -Muneer.
[Noni] The bathrooms are this way.
[Dineo] Yes. But, friend, his name is Muneer.
[Noni in Afrikaans] Don't mess with him. [in English] His girlfriend will kill you.
[Dineo] I'm coming, Muneer!
[Max] Watch it...
[Noni] I'm sorry. Give me a second. I'm gonna get the light.
Give me a second. Okay.
-[Max] Lights. -[Noni] There we go. Sorry, sorry.
[Dineo babbling]
-[Noni] Sorry. -[Max] What song is that?
-[Noni] I have no clue. -[Dineo exclaims]
-[Noni] Okay. -I'm fine.
Why are you making like I'm drunk?
-No, you're not drunk. -[Noni] Not at all.
-Not at all. -This is not the club.
[Noni] It is. The VIP room is there, first door on your left.
[Max] Yeah.
-VIP. -[Noni] Yes, friend.
-Are you coming? -Yes.
-We're all coming. Yeah. -[Noni] We're all gonna be there.
Mmm-hmm. Yeah.
Mmm.
-Where's my... Oh! -Yum.
-Thank you. -That's nice.
[Dineo] Bye!
-[Noni whispers] It's a quiet club. -It's VIP!
-[Noni] Shh, it's a quiet club. -[Dineo] Oh, quiet.
-[Noni] Secret club. Shh. -[Dineo whispers] Secret club.
[Max chuckles]
Secret club.
-Your friend is a lot. -Yeah.
-Thanks for your help. -You know I accept sex as payment, right?
You really need to get over this.
Okay, listen. Look, I'm not a hit it and run type of guy.
Besides, you're always at the bar, so maybe we could be friends, at least?
Ah, you can't be friends with someone you've had sex with.
What makes you so sure about that?
-Mmm, yes. I like where this is going. -[both chuckle]
-Experience. -Okay, wait. No.
Experience? What experience?
[Dineo] I wanna talk to the men.
You men.
♪ Men, men, men ♪
We give you everything.
Everything. We turn our lives upside down...
mmm-hmm...
inside out, and then...
But why you don't love us, huh?
Why you don't love Dineo?
[slurred] You don't love us actually.
[sobbing] It doesn't make sense. Why?
Why, why, why you don't love us?
Shit.
I don't know what to do.
Mmm.
And then I'm alone.
-[Noni] Wake up, wake up, wake up! -[Dineo whines]
But it's too early for that.
-Wake up. -Stop! It's too early.
[in Sotho] Hey, woman.
-[in English] It is 5:00 in the afternoon. -5:00 in the what?
Yep.
I don't remember sleeping until 5:00 in the afternoon.
Mmm, making a man the center of the universe is very exhausting.
But we're gonna take care of all of that tonight.
Oh, no, no, no. It's Sunday.
Exactly! For God loved the world so much,
He gave us a chance to be hungover at work on Monday.
[Dineo] No!
No!
Friend, it's gonna take a lot of make-up to fix that
[in Zulu] hangover face.
[in English] And by the way, that video you posted, it's getting a lot of likes.
They're calling you "hashtag, Desperate Bae."
-What video? -[sighs]
[mock sobbing] "Why do guys hate us so much?"
-Shit. -[sobbing] "Why?"
-"Why?" -Go away!
[door closes]
Shit. [gasps]
Oh, shit.
["Midnight Starring" playing]
Noni.
-Oh, yeah! -What's going--
-No, no, no. -Yeah!
-No, friend. -Yes, friend.
For me? Both for me? Are you trying to kill me?
[Noni exclaims]
[both exclaiming]
[both cheering]
-[Noni] Yes, queen! -Yes!
-[Noni] Yes, queen! -Yeah, here you go.
Oh, baby.
♪ Please call future baby ♪
♪ Future maybe ♪
♪ Future wife ♪
[in Sotho] You.
[in English] ♪ Please call future baby ♪
[exclaiming]
♪ Yebo, yebo, yebo, yebo, yebo ♪
[both laughing]
♪ Yebo ♪
She's freshening up on her guy-jumping. Ayoyo. Fresh.
[both] Whoo!
[Dineo] Yeah!
[upbeat music playing]
It's three simple rules. One, do not give out your real phone number.
Two, do not talk about exes.
Three, don't have sex with a guy more than once,
-otherwise it counts as a relationship. -Wait.
-What if the sex is good? -There's always someone better.
[Dineo chuckles] Okay.
Hey, can we get a--
Hey. I know you from somewhere.
No, sorry. Not interested.
Uh-uh.
Hey! So you guys wanna hang out, right?
Okay. Well, we just want free drinks. So, I'm sure you guys have, like, uh...
wives, girlfriends, boy toys maybe.
So, how about we just have a good time together,
and no one expects anything of anyone, okay?
Okay. Okay, bartender, shots!
No. No shots for me. Thank you.
-Come on. -Yes.
I didn't recognize you with the wig on.
You're Desperate Bae.
Uh, bartender! Bartender, all the shots this way.
Thank you. Keep 'em coming.
[in Tswana] No, divide. You must... No.
-[all exclaiming] -[music continues]
[man] Now we're just watching you guys.
-[in Sotho] Baby, I want to go home. -No, keep dancing.
I've found myself a boyfriend.
[cork pops]
[in English] I don't remember the last time I partied until the sun came up.
It's beautiful.
[Noni] Mmm, perfect time to see lions.
Are you still high?
[Noni chuckles] Sunrise. Reminds me of game drives.
It's the perfect time to spot wild animals.
[Dineo] I've never been.
On a game drive? Who are you?
-I'm not gonna go by myself. -You don't need a guy for that.
[chuckles]
Okay. So, wait. You want me...
to check myself into a hotel by myself, and wander around the bushes by myself?
[Noni] You're single now.
Girl, you can do whatever the hell you wanna do.
-I'm single now. -Yes.
-I'm single now. -Yes!
[shouting] I am single, you hear that?
I am single!
[both] Whoo!
-Yeah! -[man] Hey! Shut up!
You shut up!
[man] I've got kids sleeping, man!
-Oh, oh, so do I! So do I! -No, no, no.
[in Sotho] No, man.
[in English] They're just waiting for someone to fertilize them!
-Didi, shh. -Shit.
Stop making noise, crazy lady from 202.
[hip-hop music playing]
-Whoo! -Yeah!
[Noni exclaiming]
Oh, nasty!
[crashing]
This is not really my scene.
Cheers.
I'm going through a breakup.
And my friend, my best friend Noni, she's trying to get me into casual sex.
You know, I don't think I'm ready for casual sex, because sex with Lunga...
[sobbing] Sex with Lunga was just so...
[crying]
It was so good.
Like, it was... Like, it would... Like, if he did...
And then like, I... I would feel...
[whimpering]
[melancholy piano music playing]
[breathing heavily]
[bottles clinking]
[Max] Can I give you a hand with that?
[Noni] I've managed to do it alone all my life. I'm good, thanks.
-[grunts] -[glass shatters]
[gasps]
You girls have been partying hard.
-[Noni sighs] -Mmm-hmm.
-[grunts] -[bottles shatter]
-Was there a point to you coming here? -Yeah, um...
Here we go.
Karaoke's really not my thing.
Oh, so it's just not me. You just hate having fun.
-Why are you still talking to me? -Well, I mean, you're funny.
You don't give a shit what anyone thinks of you.
You tip more than 10%, and even though you act tough, you...
you're kind.
You get 15 minutes out of this karaoke night.
Use them wisely.
Shut up.
Yes!
[Dineo groans] Oh, God.
-[Pam] You shouldn't come to work drunk. -Nobody asked you, Pam.
And the boss is not happy with all your social media posts.
All this excessive partying reflects badly on the company.
Thanks, but I'll take that under advisement,
-Okay? -[Nick] So, yeah, this is my kingdom,
as far as the eye can see. I'm like the white Mufasa.
-Here she is, my social media slay queen. -Dineo...
No, no, no. Not today, Nick.
-Not today. -[Nick] Big doggy, meet Dineo.
She's gonna take Fresh Protein to new heights.
[gags]
Are you okay?
Mmm. [chuckles]
[gags]
[retching]
[DJ Fresh] My shoes!
[coughing]
This is exactly what I meant by [in Zulu] "assholery."
-[in English] What did you eat? -Pam.
Get a mop and something to wipe Dineo's breakfast.
And tell her I wanna see her in my office now!
Well, after she's finished. Okay?
[DJ Fresh] What is this?
[sighs]
Dineo?
Hey, uh...
[Noni] Hey! You forgot your keys.
Ah.
Shit.
Friend! Why are you here? What's going on?
-Why? -[Dineo] I...
I got a warning for throwing up on DJ Fresh.
Why...
-Are you still his accountant? -It's a work thing.
[Lunga] Yeah, I should, uh...
I should go.
Excuse me.
Oh, wait.
-What happened with Fresh? -Friend...
[gasps] Wait.
Wait, wait!
Great.
Back to square one, Dineo.
♪ Let us have a good time ♪
♪ A good time Having a good time ♪
♪ Get up off your feet ♪
♪ Having a good time A good time... ♪
So, this is karaoke night?
Okay. You know what? Let's just order in and stalk all our friends from varsity.
-Let's go. -No, no, no. No.
I'm... having sex tonight.
-But your battery's dead. -With a person, Noni.
[chuckles] I'm so proud of you.
[women singing karaoke continues]
-Hi. -Hey.
Can I bum one?
It's my last one.
Right. I don't know why I asked you that. I don't even smoke, but... just... bye.
Wait, wait.
I think we need to start that again.
I'm Timothy.
Okay.
[giggles]
I'm Dineo.
♪ I love you so much, baby ♪
[crowd booing]
♪ I love you ♪
-[woman] Get off the stage! -[man] Or else kill yourself!
♪ I love you so much, baby ♪
-[feedback whines on mic] -♪ I... ♪
-[Noni] Whoa! -[Max] Hey, hey.
-[Max] Hello. -[Noni] Hi.
-Tell me you didn't just clean the toilet. -No. No, I didn't.
[in Xhosa] Someone threw up here.
[in English] Okay. Excuse me while I shower for a week.
No, wait. You promised me 15 minutes.
I've already been here for ten.
-Well, I can do a lot in five. -[chuckles]
Yeah. It's on.
-What? -Yep.
Phindi!
[in Xhosa] Excuse me. May we pass?
[in English] Uh-uh, I don't do the stage.
[Max] What do you mean? You need to back me up.
I'll back you up from here.
-[in Xhosa] Really? -Really.
-[in English] Backup, okay? -Okay.
Okay. Yo. Hey! Yes! Thank you. Thank you so much.
-Okay. -[scattered clapping]
Okay, that was depressing.
[crowd] Yeah.
[woman] Yes.
-[upbeat music playing] -[crowd cheering]
[exclaiming]
[singing in Zulu]
Whoo!
[Dineo] It was crazy seeing him again today. It was like we're strangers.
-Although, we're not really strangers. -You've got--
To let it go. I know.
I have to let it go. Who wants to be lied to?
-Not me. -No, no, you've got--
A problem.
-I have a problem, Tim. -No, no--
-I have a problem. -You've got--
What the... what the hell?
-What the hell? -No, what the hell with you, pervert?
[yelling] You've got guacamole on your chest!
What? What? What?
You've got guacamole on your chest.
Bitch.
Oh, I'm... I'm so sorry. Okay, look, I'm so sorry--
[Timothy] No!
Fuck.
[singing in Zulu]
[crowd cheering]
-Noni! Let's go. -[Noni] Wait...
Wait.
-[Dineo] Come on. Hurry. -What's going on?
[Timothy] No wonder he dumped you. [in Afrikaans] He must be sick of you.
[in English] He didn't dump me, wena. He married someone else. Big difference.
Shame. You're gonna die alone.
[Dineo gasps]
-Let's go. -Your mother will die alone!
Bitch!
[in Sotho] Your mother is a bitch.
[Dineo] No, let's go, Noni.
[Noni] Hey, good morning.
[in English] I've been thinking, friend.
"Good morning, Noni. You look gorgeous today." Thank you.
I think I'm done with this dating random guys thing.
Every guy was random until you started dating them.
That was different. I knew they were the right man.
Hmm, until they started ghosting you. Or cheating on you.
Or saying they're not ready for a relationship--
Okay, I get it. I get it.
Noni, the point is I tried your way and I failed.
So... So now I've downloaded an online dating app.
-Friend, you hate those. -Just be happy for me, Noni.
I'm trying, right? I'm putting myself out there.
I think this is the only way I'm actually gonna get over Lunga.
Okay. Hey, but easy on that left hook, Mayweather.
You know what? Come, come, help me set up my profile.
I'd rather dig my eyes out.
What was happening between you and Max last night?
Nothing. There's no me and Max anything.
What do you mean, "nothing"? What do you--
Take a picture that accentuates your cheekbones.
Huh?
For your online dating profile. You should take a picture from that angle.
Oh! Oh.
-Okay. -And just...
-[in Sotho] Take it on an angle. -Yeah.
-[in English] Okay, come help me. -Uh-uh.
Late for work.
The editors will be done with the mock-ups by the end of week.
[in Sotho] Now, that's the woman I know and love.
[in English] Look, Nick, I know I've been distracted lately, but...
[cell phone chimes]
But?
Uh, but I'm committed.
I am committed to making this campaign work.
And we'll be launching on all social media platforms
as soon as DJ Fresh gives us the go-ahead.
Yes!
-You have secured the bag on this one. -[cell phone chimes]
You are booked and busy. My slay queen, my slayer.
-Slay me! -[exclaims]
-Dineo. -I'm sorry.
I mean, I'm just excited. I'm excited about this campaign.
It's Fresh... This is DJ Fresh. He's... I mean, he's the dog.
Right? Doggy dog.
Whoo, whoo!
You can't drop the ball on this, Dineo.
You're the best I have.
But mess up again and you're fired.
DJ Fresh is only going to believe that you had a stomach bug once.
Right. I promise no more distractions. I'm getting my life back together.
Yes! [in Tswana] You're my home girl.
[exclaims]
[in English] Come on.
[door closes]
[Dineo] So, tell me about yourself.
[clears throat]
-[gargles] -[cell phone chimes]
Is your dad's name "Oliver"?
Mmm-mmm.
'Cause you gonna be all over this dick.
[cell phone chimes]
You know, Dineo's been on, like, 11 dates. And each of them has been an epic fail.
But every time she goes,
she believes that that guy could be the guy.
That's crazy, right?
[Noni] I have this policy.
I haven't slept with a guy more than once in a long time.
[in Xhosa] Okay?
[in English] I've been very clear about this with every man I've slept with,
and none of them have challenged me on it.
Except you.
[mouthing]
[in Xhosa] Continue, I'm listening.
-[slaps] -[man whimpers]
-[Max] You're really not going to help me? -[Noni laughs]
[in English] I wouldn't expect you to help with my clients' taxes, so no.
[Max] Well, I could.
Oh, please. I doubt whatever bartending course you did qualifies you.
[chuckles] I studied business and commercial law.
[in Xhosa] Look at you now. You think I'm hot.
[in English] Oh, please. So why are you mopping floors?
You see, law was my dad's thing...
[in Xhosa] so I finished the course and once I was done,
I traveled to Asia, the Caribbean, I taught English...
[in English] I tended bars.
Now that I'm back, I want to start my own nonprofit
aimed at sustainable development throughout the continent.
Your dad must be so proud.
[in Xhosa] My dad and I aren't on speaking terms, but I have faith.
[in English] Like my mom and I. Not because of anything specific.
We just literally have nothing in common.
[in Xhosa] Why don't you?
[in English] She did everything by the book, and I'm the family cautionary tale.
My dad, he'd kill to have a son like you.
Yeah, but when you're a woman, you know success isn't enough, right?
No, child, no ring, no happiness.
No child, no ring...
looks beautiful to me.
Fine. I will help you clean.
Yeah. Finally. Here you go, you're going to need that.
And you're going to need that.
Excuse you, I do not do mops.
And the last time I was on my knees was varsity, okay?
-[Max] Okay. -Cloth.
-[Max] Cloth. -Thank you.
[Max] There you have it. I'll take the mop.
[Noni] Welcome. Thank you.
[Max] Well, I thought... Okay.
-Is that what we're doing? -That's what's up.
[romantic song playing]
[in Zulu] ♪ Look at this situation How are we going to handle it? ♪
♪ My darling ♪
♪ It's yours and mine ♪
♪ I'm scared ♪
[exhales]
-[Dineo] Where have you been? -[gasps] Shit.
Oh, you scared the bejesus out of me!
Why are you sitting in the dark?
Friend.
What happened? Hey, did he hurt you?
It was a threesome, Noni.
With another guy.
Oh, and he wasn't cute?
How is this not surprising you?
Threesomes are more common than you think.
I mean, I've been approached, like, what? Three times,
and usually by some older couple from Germany.
Well, they were black.
Well, black people are progressive too, man. Stay woke.
Is this what it really means to be single?
Really? Like, creeps, and threesomes, and God knows what?
Yep.
But it's also freedom.
Having a place of your own. Hanging out with your best friend.
How is... How is this enough for you?
Why isn't it enough for you?
I don't want to be single.
Come here.
[murmurs] I'm here.
[sighs]
Okay, fine.
I'll marry you.
[cell phone chimes]
Friend.
Will you come look at them with me?
Oh, what are you...
-Are these for you? -Yeah.
It's time to get my own place, right?
-Yeah, but, friend, last night-- -Yeah, I know.
I know, I think saying it out loud made me realize that you're right, friend.
You're right. I should get a place of my own.
And I need to start focusing at work before I get another warning.
-So, basically, I'm doing me now. -You sure?
No.
But at least we'll be single together, right?
-Right? -Yeah.
-I thought you'd be excited about this. -I am.
Hey! It's you and me forever, right?
-Forever. Forever. -Forever.
[both chuckle]
[Max] Perfect non-date.
-[Noni] Don't say it like that. -Like what?
Like it's a date.
No pressure. I already had sex with you. Goal achieved.
[gasps]
-You are so going down. -Oh, I am?
Your place or mine?
-Stop it. -[chuckles]
[mellow music playing]
That throw... No, that was not... That's... I get a second chance.
[laughs]
[pins crashing]
[blows]
[laughing]
[music continues]
[pins crashing]
[Max] Okay.
[exclaims] Whoo!
So, this apartment isn't big, but it's economical.
Like a shoe box.
You're supposed help, Noni.
Be helpful, Noni.
[realtor] If we go to the bedroom you'll find--
Hey, sorry I'm late, I got caught...
-[Noni] Oh, shit. -Got caught up.
-I'll wait for you guys to finish. -[Dineo] No, no, no. No, no.
This... This is him, girls and boys.
This... This is the man who dates other women
while he's engaged to somebody else.
See, now everybody will get to see who you really are, Lunga.
-[Noni] It's still in selfie mode. -Hmm?
Right! Because I meant to do that.
Because he doesn't deserve to be on my social media.
-Shall we do the dramatic exit? -Yes.
Flick hair.
No, no, actually... Actually...
There's this one thing, this one thing I've been meaning to say to you.
[Noni exclaims]
It's gonna sting.
[woman] So, you're not getting the apartment?
-[door closes] -Shit.
[exhales heavily] Um...
-If I could show you the bedroom... -Yeah.
-Right this way. It's beautiful. -Let's go.
-Shh. -[Max whispering] Why? What's going--
-Where is she? -She's sleeping.
-[Max] Sleeping? -Sleeping.
[Max] Finally, she's sleeping.
-[objects clattering] -[Max] Oh!
[clatters loudly]
Shh, shh.
-[objects clattering] -[Noni gasps]
[shushing]
[whispering indistinctly]
[TV blaring loudly]
[Noni] Shit, the remote. Where is it?
-[Max] Yeah, yeah, yeah. -[music playing on TV]
-[Max] Press the red button. -I'm trying.
-[Max] Press it. Okay. Cool, cool. -It's off.
-[door opens] -[Noni] Shit, she's up. Quick! Hide!
-Hey. -Hey.
-What's up? Can't sleep?
Mmm, yeah. No, it's...
[stammers] Stupid work stuff's just stressing me out.
-Do you want me to come stay up with you? -No, no, no. No.
Uh...
I smoked a joint, babe.
Think I'm gonna be fine. [yawning] I'm gonna be fine.
-[Dineo] Yeah? -Mmm-hmm.
-Okay. -Okay, friend.
-Okay. Good night. -Good night, friend.
[whispers] She's gone, right? She's gone. We're going...
[doorbell rings]
-[Dineo] Hello, Mama. -Hello, my baby girl.
-[Noni] Come in, come in. -Thank you.
Hey, Mama V.
-Uh, Nolusi-- -Noni, Mama.
Okay.
Um, so, Mama, can I offer you some tea, coffee?
-[whispers] Blood? -Uh...
[in Sotho] Tea and coffee in this heat?
My baby, it's so hot outside.
[in English] You know, winters used to be longer.
[Dineo] Yeah.
[in Sotho] So tell me,
[in English] how long are you gonna be staying here this time?
Not too long. Not too long, Mama, I promise.
[in Sotho] And where is that boy you went on a date with?
[in English] Is he also staying in a commune?
You know it's just me and Noni who live here, right?
[in Sotho] Exactly. That's a commune.
[in English] Always such a pleasure to see you.
[in Sotho] Don't you have trays in this house?
[in English] Anyway...
[in Sotho] Mama, I've been thinking...
[in English] Maybe it's time I should get my own place.
-[exclaims] -[in Sotho] What's wrong, Mama?
[coughing]
What's wrong, Mama?
Dineo... Dineo...
[in Sotho] Do you want to kill me?
[in English] How many times have I told you
[in Sotho] men don't want women with their own homes?
[in English] Then they really aren't men, are they, Mama?
[in Sotho] Wow, look who's talking.
The unmarried one.
Look, you're not like her.
You still stand a chance to get out of this situation.
Mama... Mama, you've been alone for a long time, right? Look at yourself.
[in English] You're fine.
-Fine? -Yes.
[in Sotho] I'm fine because of the hope that one day
you're going to get married and give me cute little grandkids.
-Cute grandkids? Uh-uh, Mama. -[Noni chuckles]
[in English] Hey, Mama V, you are way too young to be a grandmother.
[in Sotho] My goodness. [in English] Don't flatter me like that.
[Noni laughing]
[in Sotho] Let's talk about this, my child.
Just imagine a pretty lady like yourself
spending her life alone in her flat, staring at the walls.
Uh-uh, girl.
[in English] Find a good husband who's going to take care of you
[in Sotho] and you can buy your dream house together, you know?
[in English] Yes.
[in Sotho] Cheers to that.
Cheers.
[Lunga in English] Thank you.
Does your wife know that you're here?
No.
So, are you gonna... Are you gonna cheat on her with me?
That's up to you.
-[scoffs] -That was a joke. That was a joke. I'm...
That was a bad one. I'm sorry.
[clears throat] Um...
-I was gonna call you. It's just-- -You know...
I wanted to explain to you... I got divorced.
What?
Um, that's...
That's why I was flat-hunting. Too many memories at my place.
Of what? Of living with me while you were engaged to her, hmm?
Okay. Can we not just do this here? Can we not--
No, no, no.
Actually, this is... This is perfect because you seem to forget
that I actually walked in on your bachelor party.
So I think this is fair, right? This is perfect, so...
[in Sotho] My goodness.
[in English] Lunga, what? You were on a roll.
You got divorced, and then what?
You have the floor. Everyone's listening.
Okay, I... I made a mistake.
Dineo, I want you.
That's why I'm here.
But I thought you said that we were just two people having...
What's the word?
"Fun." That's what you said, right?
No, I was wrong. And you were right.
You were right. I fell for you.
Hey, I fell for you.
That's why I didn't tell you the truth
and why I kept seeing you when I shouldn't have.
I am in love with you.
[sighs]
[woman in Sotho] Come to me, baby. You can be mine.
[clients laughing]
[in English] So Fresh Protein needs a new fresh social media strat, right?
To elevate the brand to the next level.
And this is why I introduce you to...
Fresh Chill Pills.
Weekly curated video content for your social media
that is a wrap-up of a week in your life, pumped by...
Wait for it.
Fresh Protein. Right?
It's like the pill that gets you pumped to get on the Fresh Protein.
-I love it. -Right.
[chuckling]
You need to get food poisoning more often.
No, no. Absolutely not.
My days of projectile vomiting are behind me.
[laughing] Great. Okay.
Uh...
Just excuse me for a second, ladies and gentleman.
Okay.
[door closes]
[grunts]
Oh, no, not again.
[balloons popping]
[balloon pops loudly]
-You need to leave me alone. -I can't do that. I love you.
-You love me? -I love you.
-Since when? -Dineo, look, I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry for what happened.
Gugu and I had an open relationship while she was--
-[scoffs] -Listen. We did.
We tried to make it work,
but it's hard to give up on something you've built for seven years.
You know what? It's a great story. I just don't see where I come in.
Dineo, you...
You're the one that I'm meant to come home to.
[wistful music playing]
[in Sotho] ♪ Too late for sorry It's over, king ♪
♪ I tried to fix it But I end up coming back home alone ♪
♪ She says, "Too late for sorry" It's over, king ♪
♪ I tried to fix it But I end up coming back home alone ♪
♪ She says, "Too late for sorry" ♪
Okay.
Mmm!
-Definitely works better with the silver. -Right?
Max's Vanilla Tequila is what I'm calling it.
It's gonna be fire. It's gonna be...
-That's such a shitty name. [chuckles] -That's not a shitty name.
I can't believe I let you see me naked.
[Max] It was glorious. Absolutely...
-Mmm-hmm. -[Max] l love it.
[Dineo clears throat]
So you're the one who's been creeping in and out of our flat.
-No. No, no. -No, no, no. Please, no.
-She was helping to check my tonsils. -Yes. What?
Yeah, I mean, your tongue is so long and beautiful,
-and I love it. Technically-- -Stop talking.
She's your friend. She deserves to know the truth.
-Your friend is gone. -Dineo! Didi! No, wait, Didi.
Didi.
Babe, don't make me run in heels. You know I don't know how.
-Come on. -Noni, why wouldn't you tell me about him?
I didn't want you to feel bad, you know.
-'Cause you're... -What?
-What? Because I'm what? -'Cause you're single.
Wow!
There it is. Know what you've become? Those "couple" women you hate.
What? We aren't even a couple! We're just...
-I like him-- -Me and Lunga had ice cream.
He's getting divorced and wants me back.
-And you said no? -Yeah, I said no.
Because you wanted to.
Noni, what if he's the one?
What if? You know, love is complicated, right?
[scoffs] Grow up. He's not the one.
-Why are you doing this? -Because...
Because if you're with Max, then I really am alone.
I'm not "with Max."
[sighs]
Noni, you've slept with him more than once.
In your own words, that's a relationship.
[mouthing]
[pop song playing]
♪ Down by the river I took a walk ♪
♪ I met a boy with charisma He took my hand ♪
♪ And looked so deeply Straight into my eyes ♪
♪ Said he's gonna show me paradise ♪
♪ I can't believe I almost missed out on you ♪
[phone chimes]
♪ Just 'cause your love was something Different and new ♪
[in Swati] ♪ I've never met line:5% Someone like you ♪
♪ I'm in love with you I love you deeply♪
♪ With you, I am complete My love... ♪
[in English] ♪ I love you so much, baby ♪
♪ I love you ♪
Every fucking karaoke night with this "I love you, baby" shit, right?
[chuckles]
Guys, look, I'm really sorry that we had to do this here.
It was too late for me to get the night off.
No, no, no. It's fine, Max. It's fine.
At least this way, we get to just drink and walk back to the flat, right?
And hopefully there won't be, like, a road block on the way.
[chuckles] To the...
[chuckles]
[Dineo clears throat]
Yes, drinks. Yo, hey. [chuckles]
There you go.
Thank you.
Wait, wait, wait.
[in Xhosa] Listen, bring a lot of alcohol, okay?
[in English] Okay, great, great.
-I want to make a toast. -[Max] A toast?
-Yeah. -[Max] Yes.
[Dineo] Uh, to second chances...
and new beginnings. And our first double date.
-[Max] Hey. There. -Cheers to that.
Ouch.
And I want to make a toast to you, Dineo.
I know I don't deserve you--
[scoffs]
Um, but thank you for loving me anyway.
And for bringing us all together.
And, Noni, thank you for agreeing to this.
[Max] You know what? If Dineo's happy, Noni's happy.
You don't need to speak for me.
Then maybe you should say something.
[Noni] Oh, thank you.
How could you not tell her you were engaged?
-Noni. -[coughs]
I meant what happened in soccer this weekend.
That's between us two.
Are you pro-Israel or pro-Palestine? You know, mild topics.
But it wasn't between you two when you married someone else.
And it wasn't between you two when I had to pick her up off the floor
because she was so drunk and her heart broken over you.
Why'd you have to say that?
[patrons applauding]
Yes. Yes. Yes, yes.
I think we should go up next.
You know I don't do the stage.
We'll go. We'll go.
-[Max] Yes? -Yes, let's go, let's go.
-[Max] Yeah. Yeah. -[Lunga] Yeah, okay.
Couple goals.
[Noni] Whose side are you on?
I'm on your side, of course.
But if you go on like this, you'll lose your friend.
Oh. [chuckles]
Cheaters always stick together.
-Okay, I am not Lunga. -You're all Lunga. [clicks tongue]
What are you even saying? What?
What is happening?
Are you fucking kidding me right now?
Are you kidding me?
[Dineo] Noni!
[in Sotho] No, man. Noni, wait!
[in English] Noni, Noni, wait, wait, wait. Nondumiso.
[in Sotho] What's wrong?
[in English] You were supposed to give him a chance.
-[Noni] I don't trust him. -But he makes me happy.
No, he makes you feel less alone.
Okay. What's wrong with that, huh?
[scoffs]
You're stuck in a fairy tale.
These guys don't love you, okay?
They use you and then they throw you away, and you let them.
That sounds more like you than me, but okay.
[scoffs] Please. No one uses me.
Really? You? You?
You getting drunk and hooking up
with every Tommy, Doomy and Harry that you meet?
Friend, you're not going to be young and beautiful forever.
And then what? What will you be left with, hmm?
My self-respect. For not settling for trash.
How can you call it "respect"
when the only difference is you don't get paid for it?
Noni, that didn't...
I... [sighs] Friend, I didn't mean that.
[Noni] Do what you always do, okay?
Take your things. Move in with him.
But this time... don't come back, because now I'm done.
[Dineo] Noni...
[softly] Noni...
[door locks]
It's gonna be okay.
-Are you sure it's okay if I stay here? -Yeah. Come here.
Look, I don't want you to ever leave again. Okay?
Come here.
[pop song playing on radio]
-[in Xhosa] ♪ Just hold me, hold me ♪ -[inaudible]
♪ Just touch me, touch me ♪
♪ Just kiss me ♪
♪ Just hold me, hold me ♪
♪ Just touch me, touch me ♪
♪ Just kiss me ♪
[in English] ♪ Taking me higher Higher than the day ♪
♪ You're taking me higher Higher than the day ♪
-[inaudible] -[pop song continues]
Have you ever cheated?
Yeah, once in varsity.
-It was a hectic exam. -[chuckles]
Yeah, we had been dating for, like, a few months.
Why?
We were young and stupid.
And, to be fair,
[in Xhosa] she cheated first.
[sighs]
[in English] Is that what happened to you?
Wait...
It's almost morning.
[in Xhosa] What does that mean?
[in English] Get out.
[in Xhosa] What?
-[in English] What happened? -Just go.
[Lunga] No, I can only do tonight, that's the thing.
No, you don't have to do that.
Okay, fine. Fine. Um... look.
I'll meet you at the Silver Star Hotel at 8:00. How's that?
Let me call you back.
-Hey. -[nervously] Hey, baby.
You...You're back early. How... are you?
You... You good?
Yeah. Traffic wasn't bad.
Who was that?
Uh, work. You know me. I work, work... I just work.
They want me to meet some new client tonight.
-So I have to do that. I know... -Tonight?
-Yeah. -Can't it wait until the morning?
No, baby, 'cause tomorrow morning is your birthday.
And the rest of the day is your birthday as well.
I don't want to work on your birthday. [stammers] I'm... I'm not gonna.
Are you hungry? Did you eat?
I'm hungry. I could eat. You look beautiful.
I'm gonna make some food, okay?
[exhales]
[line ringing]
[cell phone ringing]
-Hello? -[Dineo] Hey.
Hey.
It's happening again.
I'm at this hotel 'cause Lunga has this meeting,
and I'm just sitting at this lobby and...
[Noni] Which hotel?
Which hotel?
His parents?
What?
Uh, his parents. I recognize them from the photos, but...
Why wouldn't he tell me his parents are here?
Oh, they're here for your surprise party.
What... what... what surprise? For me?
[gasps]
Baby. Honey, this is amazing.
You don't call him "honey."
[squeals and giggles]
Why are you dancing?
[gasps] What? This is for me?
[chuckles] For me?
This is just amazing.
What is this?
Oh, my God, you guys. This is...
[crying]
Okay.
[Lunga] Keep following. Almost there.
-[Dineo] I'm fine. Okay. Okay. -You're good, you're good.
-What's happening? [chuckles] -There you go.
[all] Surprise!
[Dineo] Oh, my goodness! Wow!
-[Lunga] Happy birthday, baby. -I'm so surprised.
[in Sotho] Mom, Dad,
[in English] this is Dineo.
-Hello, Dineo. -Uh...
Hello, Mama. Nice to meet you.
You, too. So nice to meet you.
-[gasps] Mama. -Yes, my baby.
[both laughing]
You know what? You are so lucky
[in Sotho] to have a man like him.
[in English] My future son-in-law.
[in Sotho] Oh, my goodness. You know, he does things in style.
[in English] Let me just go check on something with the manager quickly.
Okay. [chuckles]
I'm so glad, Duri, you are back together again.
-You found each other again. -Mmm.
Now you can buy that big house ya lona, the dream house. Together.
-Together? -Yes.
This man is going to look after you, my child.
[in Sotho] He's not like your father.
-He's committed, and I can tell. -Ah, Mama.
[chuckles] Um...
[in English] A few of Lunga's friends want to meet Didi,
so I'm gonna steal her for a few minutes.
Yes.
Right.
-[Dineo] But who are all these people? -I have no idea.
[Dineo] I'm actually surprised you came.
Well, someone has to keep you sane around your mother.
-Yeah. -You look like a Stepford wife.
[laughs]
Noni, I'm so sorry.
-Friend-- -[glass clinking]
Dineo, baby, can you please come stand here next to me?
[stammers] Okay.
[Lunga] Yeah, Dineo, come.
-[Dineo] What is happening? -Um...
Firstly, I, uh... I want to thank you all for joining us here today. Um...
Dineo and I have been through a lot as a couple.
And having you all here to celebrate with us today means so much.
We've, uh...
-Yeah, we've had a few bumps on the road. -[all chuckling]
Yeah, so, um...
Right now I just want to make sure that we we never lose each other again.
Oh, shit. Everyone take out your phones, 'cause if we miss this, she'll kill us.
[in Sotho] Oh, my child.
[camera shutters clicking]
[in English] Dineo Mudau.
You fight for love even when it seems impossible.
You take care of me. You make me a better man.
And I hope you'll keep doing that for the rest of our lives.
Will you marry me?
Say yes.
[Noni] Okay, put your phones away.
[Lunga] Uh, Dineo...
So proud of my girl.
Champagne.
Dineo.
Dineo, what are you doing? What are you doing? What's going on?
What the hell was that?
I followed you last night.
To the hotel. I followed you, and I know it's crazy,
but I thought I was gonna walk in on your bachelor party.
Except it's not crazy,
because that's exactly what happened. I walked in on your bachelor party,
-and you married somebody else. -That was then.
That was then. That's my past.
I am here with you now.
-You say you love me, right? -Yeah.
But you never called me.
-Does it matter? -Yes, it does.
-Does it really matter? -It does!
[sighs] When... When in the entire time that we've known each other
have you shown me that you want me?
-Not a fill-in girlfriend. -Uh...
Not somebody who takes care of you, Lunga. Just me. Just me, Dineo.
Three minutes ago, Dineo.
Three minutes ago when I got on one knee and I asked you to marry me.
Which is three months after you got divorced, right?
[clicks tongue] Right.
I'm not in love with you.
I'm not.
I'm in love with not being alone.
[exhales]
[Noni] Didi?
Dineo.
[chuckles]
[Dineo] I don't deserve you, friend.
[chuckles] Shut up.
[cell phone chimes]
Oh!
Lunga's failed proposal has gone viral, and you're no longer Desperate Bae.
Ugh. Oh, God, I can't believe I did that.
Oh, you slayed emotional dragons today, friend.
You should be so proud.
Noni, being single is fine, right?
Yeah.
Sure as hell beats losing the right guy 'cause you're an idiot.
So bar boy is the right guy?
-[blows raspberry] -You know what? You know what?
If I can turn down a marriage proposal today,
then you, my friend...
-You can go win your man back. -Mmm.
Okay. Tomorrow.
I think we've had enough excitement for one day.
No, today. Now, actually.
-Uh-uh, friend. -Yes.
I've cleaned my face and everything.
You can do it in five minutes... and he doesn't care.
-Let's go. Let's go. -[groans]
[Max] I hope you guys are having a lovely evening.
-Okay. -Can we talk?
[in Xhosa] I'm busy.
[in English] I'm really sorry about the fight. And for breaking up with you.
Nothing happened to me, okay? No one broke my heart.
I just... I've seen so many people destroyed by love that I just...
I built up walls and I made up rules.
Did you hear me?
[in Xhosa] I hear you, but...
[in English] How do I really know you're ready to break those walls down?
Yeah.
-[inaudible] -[dance music playing]
[exhales heavily]
[romantic music playing]
[exhales]
[softly] ♪ I love you ♪
♪ So much ♪
♪ I love you so... ♪
[louder] ♪ I love you so much ♪
♪ I love you so much ♪
-[inaudible] -[music continues]
♪ You are the one for me ♪
♪ And I am the one for you ♪
♪ I love you ♪
♪ So much ♪
♪ I need you ♪
♪ I want you ♪
♪ I love you ♪
[patrons cheering and applauding]
[all] Yes! Yes!
Please get me off the stage.
Yeah, wanna get off?
-You're gonna have to carry me. -Okay.
-No problem.
Show's over.
Okay, here we go.
[in Xhosa] For someone without a place to stay,
[in English] you have a lot of stuff.
At least now there's room for you, Maxie, right?
-[Noni] No way! What? No. -[Max] Yeah.
-Why? -No, no one's moving anywhere.
Okay, you guys, I think that's it. That's everything, yeah.
-Are you sure you've got this? -Yeah, promise.
I think we should go before she changes her mind.
-Yeah, let's do that. -[giggling]
Mmm. You're gonna miss me, aren't you?
-No. -Yes.
[kisses]
-Max's turn. Come here, Max. -Yeah.
Take care of my friend.
-I will. -Promise?
-Yeah. -Good.
-Let's get out of here. -[Dineo] Bye.
Bye, babes.
[sighs]
Okay.
[chuckles]
-[mellow song playing] -♪ Ooh, yeah ♪
♪ Ooh, yeah ♪
♪ Open your ears And tell me what you hear ♪
♪ Can you hear the power of your voice? ♪
♪ Open your heart And tell me what you feel ♪
♪ Can you feel the power of your choice? ♪
♪ The choice you made to fall in love ♪
♪ Replace the hate And break the chains apart, yeah ♪
♪ So take a breath, take it deep Release the pain ♪
♪ Set yourself free From the ugly in this world ♪
-♪ 'Cause you're beautiful ♪ -♪ Love yourself ♪
-♪ Protect yourself ♪ -♪ Yes, you're beautiful ♪
-♪ 'Cause you're beautiful ♪ -♪ Love yourself ♪
-♪ Protect yourself ♪ -♪ Yes, you're beautiful ♪
[club song playing]
[in Zulu] ♪ I am leaving with my man Where are the men? ♪
♪ I am leaving with my man Where are the men? ♪
♪ I am leaving with my man ♪
♪ Up in the club All that we see ♪
♪ We see the mistresses ♪
♪ We wake up at six in the morning ♪
♪ We throw our panties in a bag ♪
♪ If you don't pay, you can't go in ♪
♪ We see the mistresses ♪
♪ We wake up at six in the morning ♪
♪ We throw our panties in a bag ♪
♪ If you don't pay, you can't go in ♪
♪ We see the mistresses ♪
♪ We wake up at six in the morning ♪
♪ We throw our panties in a bag ♪
♪ If you don't pay you can't go in ♪
♪ We see the mistresses ♪
♪ We wake up at six in the morning ♪
♪ We throw our panties in a bag ♪
♪ If you don't pay, you can't go in ♪
♪ I am leaving with my man Where are the men? ♪
♪ Up in the club All that we see ♪
♪ We see the mistresses We wake up at six in the morning ♪
♪ We throw our panties in a bag... ♪
[in Tswana] Slate 415, take three.
-[Max snoring] -Oh!
[laughing]
[in English] Room Pollux.
[Noni] What?
[both] Pollux.
Okay, let's go.
Two more boxes of condoms for Room Pollux, please.
Yeah.
[laughing]
Mandisa, Pollux. [laughing]
My safe word is "beetroot." I said it three times.
[in Zulu] Oh, you girls look beautiful.
[all laughing]
-[in English] No, guys. -[all laughing]
[man] Clapper board set.
Girl, is your father a terrorist?
'Cause that ass is the bomb.
Are you a piece of cake?
'Cause I want a piece of that.
-That's a terrible line. -Yeah.
-[all laughing] -Can you try the other one?
-[man] Is your dad's name "Oliver"? -Why...
[man] 'Cause you gonna be all over this...
dick.
[crew member laughing]
[crew member] Let's redefine that so it's more prominent.
[all laughing]
[crew member] All right, we're gonna do it again.
-[all laughing] -[indistinct chatter]
And, Dineo, I just... I want to make sure that we never lose each other again.
[Noni] Holy shit. Pull out your phones, please.
If we miss this, she's gonna kill us.
[Noni laughing]
-Yeah! -[dish clatters]
Even me. I quit.
-And then? -[Noni] We're going, man.
Was this your perfect wedding? [chuckles nervously]
-[woman] Next time, say it first. -[man] Go and try again.
[clears throat] Um...
-I was gonna call you. I just... -You know...
-[Lunga] I wanna explain to you... -Sorry.
Dineo, just let me explain that I was gonna...
I got divorced!
-[woman] What? -[man] What?
[all laughing]
[crew member] All right, still rolling.
Still rolling. Reset. Still rolling.
All right, let's go.
[upbeat music playing]