Downloaded from YTS.MX
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[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
[moaning]
- Mm, way more.
More than the Sephora samples?
- Oh, yeah.
More than...
your grandma's lasagna?
- Are we talking Grandma Marie's
or Grandma Josefina's?
[groaning] Hey, hey!
Those are our future kids you're strangling there.
Of course I love you more than my grandma's lasagna.
Would I be buying you that half a carat princess cut
if I didn't?
Hmm? Hmm?
- I just don't know how you're ever gonna pay off
our engagement ring
if you just blew all your landscaping money
at the used car lot.
- I told you we had to invest in a four-door
if I'm gonna drive for Uber.
[machine buzzes]
- [sighs]
- T.
[sighs]
Hey, T.
T.
They got rules, T. [phone buzzes]
Hey, you see?
It's making me money already.
- Bullshit.
You ain't got no Uber fare at this hour.
You're gonna hustle cheap coke to some leftover summer rental.
- I don't get you, T.
Weren't you just busting my balls
about paying off the engagement ring?
Not to mention a down payment at the Ramada.
They got a circular driveway to show off the mermaid gown
that I picked out at Brides For Less.
- You see?
- Look, I want you to be a hunter/gatherer or whatever,
but I don't like the sketchy shit.
- Stop barking up my ass, all right?
Look, all the local guys run a little something something
for Richie Rich in the summer.
- Well, as of yesterday, summer's officially over.
Rules change after Labor Day, Jimmy.
They don't call it Tumbleweed Tuesday for nothing.
- Look, I'll be 20 minutes, 30 minutes tops.
And then we can...
pick up where we left off when I get back.
All right.
- Hey. Jimmy.
Don't let your guard down.
- Who, me?
- Be careful. - Don't worry.
- I got Stallone and Van Damme to back me up.
[clicks tongue]
[door clicks shut]
- ♪ Hit it ♪ [upbeat dance music]
- ♪ That's what I'm talking 'bout ♪
- ♪ Wait ♪
- ♪ Okay, now, from the beginning ♪
- ♪ Hit it, boys ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ ♪
- Hello? Hand wash only.
♪ ♪
- ♪ That's what I'm talking about ♪
♪ ♪
- What the fuck?
Jesus, you scared the thong up my crack.
- I'm sorry.
Are you closed?
Your sign says 24 hours.
- Actually, it says 24 "hors", but whatever.
You picking?
- Pardon?
- Picking, as in picking up or dropping off?
- Oh, no.
No, I need to borrow your phone.
- Fancy lady like you ain't got no phone?
- I don't believe in them. Cancer.
5G waves.
They say it's the equivalent
of standing next to a microwave.
I just need to call a cab.
Or maybe I could borrow your phone,
and I'll pay you cash for a Lyft?
A Lyft, like Uber?
- The smock don't make me Special Ed.
- I didn't mean to insinuate that you're--
- Cabs around here are rip-offs.
I'll call you an Uber.
- Holy shit.
[phone dings]
[knocks]
- You the guy?
- I'm the man.
- [grunts]
[exhales sharply] It's good.
- Yeah, top shelf, like I told you, bro.
Makes everything better.
- But then again, what could be bad here, right?
- [chuckles] Right.
- Hey, Cros.
It's a deal, man. Let's go.
- Hey, got a great poker game going.
We always need more players.
Wanna join?
- You know, I should settle up. I got a fare, so...
- You a professional driver? - Well...
- Hey, my buddy back there,
he owns the biggest black car service in Manhattan.
Executives, proms, weddings.
Yeah, and no easier lay
than a single bridesmaid at a wedding, am I right?
[laughs]
Yeah, not to mention the tips.
He's always looking for good drivers.
Sure you don't wanna join?
- Maybe just one hand.
- Atta boy! Come on.
Out of the car.
- I didn't mean to imply
that you were mentally challenged.
- Whatever. You do you.
I work the night shift at a laundromat.
You ain't my first wack job.
- I'm not a wack job.
- All right. Geez. You ain't a wack job, okay?
What, do you got your period?
- I don't need you to confirm that I'm not a wack job.
I'm quite accomplished, actually.
I just graduated law school.
- What, do you want a ribbon?
- Ironically, I have enough of those.
- You collect ribbons?
- No.
Never mind.
- What, 'cause I work the overnight at a Suds & Soak,
I ain't capable of understanding your ribbons?
- I didn't say that.
Well, if you must know,
I'm actually an accomplished equestrian.
That's horse jumping.
- I know what it is.
Not really into horses myself.
I once went on one of them...
Central Park carriage rides, you know?
The horse was pooping all over the place,
so between the flies and the stink from the shit--
- How much longer for the Uber?
[phone dings]
- Donny. - Oh, come on!
[hip-hop music]
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. - Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy.
We're boring you or what?
Or do you got a fare?
- It's my girl. My fiancée, actually.
- Whoa! - No fucking way, man!
You getting a ball and chain?
- Hey, you know, I should probably bust.
- No, no. - Already? Already? Come on.
- You're not pussy whipped, are you?
- Where's she keep the jar with your balls in it, man?
[laughter]
[phone dings]
- Motherfucker.
I swear, I could fucking kill him.
- Could you spare a glass for me?
- No.
But if you don't mind plastic...
So why ain't you have me call your fiancé?
- How did you know that I...
oh.
- Yeah.
You could slice a bitch with that princess cut.
So what's that, three carats?
- 4 1/4, actually.
Mother thinks it's a bit gauche.
Anything over three carats, you know?
- Yeah.
You know, I'm engaged too.
I mean, I don't wear my ring at work or anything.
But it's a princess cut, like yours.
Except mine ain't so gauche.
[sighs]
So what's he do to afford that rock?
Your guy?
- Charles?
He's a lawyer.
- So youse are both lawyers then?
- I'm not a lawyer.
Yet.
I took my Bar in July.
I haven't been able to breathe these past six weeks
waiting for the results.
- How much longer you gotta wait?
[solemn ambient music]
♪ ♪
Hey. You okay?
- Charles said that...
if he didn't pass the first time,
he knew that he never would.
And I know that he's right.
That's how hard one has to study.
- Hey. Hey, I get it.
You know, you can't hold your shit in.
My uncles did that, and he had to get
3/4 of his colon removed.
- Actually, that happened to an uncle of mine as well.
- What do we got? [indistinct chatter]
- [laughs] - What about you, Jimmy?
Too rich for your blood? - Ready, Jim?
- Let's do it. - Yeah? All right.
- Holy shit. - No way. All right.
- Straight.
- Let's see what you got, Jimbo.
- Flush. - No!
[laughing] No! Oh!
You took down the king! [laughter]
Give it to me, brah. Come on.
Bring it to me, bro. [laughs]
- It's yours. Yeah. Take it, my man.
- Oh, man. - It's all his.
[laughter]
- Cros. - Nice.
- [indistinct] Ah, here we go.
- I've been expected to be a lawyer
my whole life.
Prep school.
Summer associates.
Ivy League.
A lot of money has been spent.
A lot of effort has been made.
- Hey, you don't need to be no lawyer.
You're a smart chick.
With good hair.
♪ ♪
- You're a nice person.
♪ ♪
You're right.
There's always a plan B.
- Oh, hell yeah, there is.
Marry that lawyer of yours.
Get yourself knocked up right away
and just tell people it was your choice.
You could be one of those fancy mamas
with a bomb-ass Range Rover
and a smoking hot trainer three times a week.
♪ ♪
[machine buzzes]
[sighs]
[tense music]
♪ ♪
- Yo.
I appreciate the game,
but what do you say we settle up?
- Come on, you're not gonna let me
win back some of the money I lost?
[laughs]
Hey, relax, man.
Let me make you a drink.
- Nah, man.
Look, it's been real, but I gotta go.
- All right, man.
Or...
you could get the fuck out of here
before I call the cops.
♪ ♪
[keyboard clacking]
- Hi.
How is everyone today?
Oh, thank you so much.
- A lot of money has been spent.
- Someone wants it to be snack time.
- What is that?
- It's really nothing. I was just--
- A lot of effort has been made.
- Thank you. - Why?
What does she have?
Watching that disgusting video?
- Because we don't do anything anymore!
- What is wrong with you? - You never touch me!
It's been months.
- Why are you talking to me like that?
Why are you yelling at me like it's my fault?
I've been studying for the Bar!
- You've been gone-- - I don't want--
♪ ♪
- Thank you. [kisses]
Thank you so much.
Hi there. - [breathing heavily]
♪ ♪
You're trying to rob me?
- Why the fuck did you lie to me about your phone?
What kinda sicko game are you playing here?
- You lowlife!
I should've known the moment I laid eyes on you.
Why did you do that?
I have never done anything wrong.
Nothing.
I've always reached.
I have always lived up to expectations.
- Listen, lady-- - Why did you betray me?
[breathing heavily]
You're trying to rob me!
- I wasn't. I wasn't. I swear to God.
Just pump the brakes, will you?
- Why are you making me do this?
- You ain't gotta do nothing!
Nothing happened here, right? I mean, so what?
You lied about your phone? It don't matter to me.
I don't--oh, no. Okay, okay, listen.
Christ. Jesus.
Just--just think about it.
I ain't gonna tell anybody.
No one would believe me over you anyways.
Nobody.
Nobody would believe me over you.
Am I right?
- Yes.
You're right.
I'm sorry.
- Call someone. [knife thunks]
♪ ♪
- [breathing heavily]
[grunting]
♪ ♪
[bell dings]
- Yo, T.
Sweet lady T.
[machine thumping heavily]
Yo, Teresa.
[sighs]
Yo, T, get your sweet ass off the can.
You're getting that princess cut after all, baby.
[sighs] [sirens wailing]
Hey, yo, T.
♪ ♪
T!
[heavy hip-hop]
♪ ♪
- ♪ I've got a big fat drum, big fat drum ♪
♪ I've got a big fat drum, pounding so bad ♪
♪ I've got a big fat drum, big fat drum ♪
♪ I've got a big fat, big fat, big-big-big ♪
- ♪ Listen ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Clap ♪
♪ Uh ♪
♪ You ready? ♪
♪ Let's go ♪
♪ ♪
- ♪ I've got a big fat drum, big fat drum ♪
♪ I've got a big fat drum pounding so bad ♪
♪ I've got a big fat drum, big fat drum ♪
♪ I've got a big fat, big fat, big-big-big ♪
- ♪ Hey ♪
♪ ♪