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FATHER THERE IS ONLY ONE 2 THE ARRIVAL OF THE MOTHER-IN-LAW
Next stop, school.
And then, Conchy?
Carlota to her violin lessons.
Daniel ballet lessons, Rocio tennis, and Paulita speech therapist.
And Sara needs to do a Science project at a friend's.
I have this under control.
There they are.
Hey, ladies.
- Hi! - Good, great.
Where's Marisa?
Good. Really busy with work.
Next week is Cristinita's birthday, remember!
On it. Sent the deposit 3 weeks ago!
Remember, this year it's my turn
to buy the Baby Chicks teacher's gift at the end of term.
Great, it's already November, it's right around the corner.
Yes, because then we're like all last minute.
I created a chat: "Gift for Nati."
Thought the best thing would be a Spa experience, massage included.
It's the priciest, but she's worth it.
- Yes. - Nati's great.
Totally. We shouldn't go cheap on these things.
No.
What kind of massage are we talking about?
Please, in the chat, okay?
In the chat.
Put it in the chat.
Could you please tell me where the preschool group is?
Baby ducks preschool, Baby Chicks,
or Koalas preschool?
Koalas sounds like the right one.
Koalas would be second hallway right,
4th door left, stairs at the end.
Huh?
I'll send you a map, parent's chat.
Where?
I'll show you.
I have to get my daughter, Paulita. Catch you later, girls.
- Goodbye. - Bye.
Don't worry, I'll put you in the chat.
I'm the administrator, you ran into the right guy.
But you have to download Conchy ASAP.
Who's Conchy?
- You don't know what Conchy is? - No.
You've got a lot of catching up to do. This is your class.
- We'll be in touch, okay? - Thanks.
- Sweetheart! - Daddy!
Hi Javier. Could I talk to you alone for a second?
Sure. Wait here, sweetie.
Paula showed me her drawing from yesterday.
And I'm worried it isn't at the level we expect from a child her age.
It shows immaturity
and I detect emotional
problems relating with her peers.
That's my observation.
What did she say?
Just that your drawing wasn't at the right level for a child your age.
But YOU did it.
Senor, it's late. Aren't you going to bed?
No, this has to be perfect, if it takes all night.
She can forget about the spa experience.
All she gets is some body lotion!
- Dad! - Dad!
- Okay kids, in order. - Dad,
did “Top Singer Kids” call me yet?
Again? It's been forever,
they're not going to call you!
Even you said it was pathetic.
I was referring to you.
So you still think you'll get a call back and the pathetic one
is me?
Dad,
I got an A on my test. You said that if I passed everything,
we'd go to Disneyland Paris.
Dani, I said that if all of you passed everything, all of you.
So if I were you, I'd watch Sara, who isn't very focused lately.
Very funny.
Dad,
a kid in my class got a dog.
Again with the dog. We don't have room for a dog in our house.
I'm sure that kid doesn't have 4 siblings.
What if we trade a brother for a dog?
Look honey,
I'll buy you a dog when you can repeat exactly what I say without any mistakes.
What, exactly?
Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.
Dad, you're mean.
But on the day she CAN say it...
No worries, she'll never say it.
Let's go! Dinner's ready!
Aren't we waiting for Mom?
Yes, but we'll eat without her because recently
she's been arriving a lot later.
Maybe she's found a new boyfriend.
Very funny, Rosaura.
I'm dead serious.
Dad, what are you doing?
What's wrong?
You threw that plastic in the organic trash!
You scared me! I thought something was burning.
Yes. The planet. Haven't you ever heard of global warming?
Sorry, Greta Thunberg.
You can laugh, but we're destroying the planet.
- Look, it's your mom. - Mom! We're all going to die!
The planet's being destroyed!
Nonsense! Hey babe, what's up?
It's the third night late for dinner this week.
Don't worry, just come when you can.
Yeah, I'll tell her.
Sara, your mom says
no headphones during dinner.
How does she know? She's not even here!
I'm sick of this!
Yeah, she took them off. She loves you.
And I love you too.
My friend Lourdes’ parents
are divorcing.
Why are you bringing that up?
Poor thing, she must be having a rough time.
Not at all. Now she has two of everything:
two houses, birthday presents, vacations... It's cool.
Not cool, not really.
- Dad. - What's up, Paulita?
Peter Pfeiffer picked a heck of pickled peppers.
Yeah sure, hon. Big rubber baby buggy bumpers.
Dad.
When do you think you're gonna die?
Hello!
Hi honey!
- What are you doing? - I'm a little stressed with the kids.
If they all pass we have to take them to Disneyland.
I hope one of them fails.
Kidding.
With your salary and the Conchy App money, we can get by.
Javier,
I don't think we're going on vacation this year.
Why not? What's wrong?
We have to talk.
Talk?
You've been getting home late all the time.
You've been weird,
distant.
Don't tell me there's someone else.
Yes.
Oh God.
Another baby.
I'm pregnant.
Javier!
Javi!
How did this happen to us?
I don't understand it, we take all the precautions.
I did a home pregnancy test.
No, I don't believe it.
I won't believe it until a person with a degree tells us.
No,
no mistake.
Congratulations!
It's kind of rare,
one in a million.
I never won anything. Not one miserable time, not even bingo.
But we nab this “one ina million shot”.
People will think we're idiots.
In any case, this one's going to another school. I'm embarrassed.
What are we going to tell the kids?
About the school?
They'll agree.
They'll be embarrassed, too.
It's important for you, Marisa,
to take is easier.
Slow down.
You might
need a hand at home.
Especially with the kids.
I was thinking of calling my...
No! We have Rosaura!
Rosaura and I will make do.
Remember, babe? When you went to the Caribbean?
It was fine.
I'm Harry Potter!
Fire! Fire!
As far the kids go,
don't worry. I know them, they'll be thrilled.
We got you guys together because we have some great news.
We're going to Disneyland Paris?
No, it's much better than that.
We're going to get a dog?
No Paulita, even better.
You're getting a divorce!
No dear, what're you saying?
Something you don't expect.
Of course, because it's such a novelty. It's only happened 5 times.
We're going to have a new baby!
Yes, Paulita.
Can I go play now?
Sure, but curb your enthusiasm.
But we can still go to Disneyland Paris, right?
Well we probably can't, Dani. Because imagine if the baby arrives
and there's no one here? Someone has to be home.
Didn't you say the stork comes from Paris?
We'll get the baby there
and save him the trip here.
It's perfect! I'll go get my suitcase ready!
So you aren't getting a divorce?
Now instead of double everything, I have to share even more!
Shoot!
I'll be darned!
Sara,
anything to add?
I'm flipping out. I can't go anywhere alone
and now it looks like you guys
are the ones that shouldn't be left alone.
Well Carlota,
you're the mature one, the only one that hasn't said anything. What?
I think that a large family is a great learning experience
in a person's integral development.
But more than five?
Are you out of your minds?
You have a serious self-control issue.
We'll make do.
What can I say? I'm thrilled.
At least one is thrilled.
- Not.. - It could have been worse, babe.
What if Paulita starts asking why a baby fits in the house, but not a dog?
Yeah!
A dog is smaller!
Yes, Paulita, but then a dog grows.
But a baby doesn't?
A dog needs special food.
A baby doesn't?
That too. But a dog poops and pees all over the place!
And a baby doesn't?
Yes, but it wears a diaper. Dani, not dressed yet? We'll be late
- for the game. - I don't want to go.
Coach never picks me to play.
Sure he does, watch, he'll pick you today. Later.
Come on, let's go.
Goal!
Good job Dani! You're the best!
- But my son scored that goal! - That's the point.
My kid needs encouragement, he's always benched.
Coach! You're a disgrace! Everyone needs to play!
You always play the same kids!
It's not normal that my son spends every game on the bench.
That would depress anyone. The boy wants to participate.
I get it, but understand where I'm coming from too.
I actually need to win games.
Your son is worthless out there.
Maybe it's the coach.
What did he say?
A lot of things that I'm not going to tell you
right now because I don't want to be rude.
So?
Meet the new soccer coach.
But Dad, you don't know anything about soccer.
What do you mean? Pau Gasol calls me
all the time for advice.
Gasol plays basketball.
Whatever, I'm good at it all.
We're going to have time to hang out before the stork comes.
Dad,
look, we're alone now
and I don't want you to make a fool out of yourself.
I'm listening.
That stork story is just not how it happens.
Maybe that's how you came but not now. It's just not that way.
Oh no?
Seriously? Six kids and no clue?
You wouldn't survive 10 seconds at school.
What happens, then? Give me the lowdown.
How much do you know?
No. How much do you know?
Most people say that there's a little seed.
But there are also rumors about birds and bees.
Let me do some research and I'll get back to you.
No, no, it's best you leave that to me.
Look, we need a standard criteria.
Birds and bees or little seeds.
The Paris thing is out then?
- Get real, man. - Storks...
Dad!
Yes Paulita, you can feed the baby and take it out,
- but without a leash. - No leash?
Carlota, put the bread on the table.
Is it the whole wheat? You know I only eat whole wheat.
Of course it is dear.
Here are the chia seeds.
What's that?
Little black seeds
with five times as much calcium as milk and three times more antioxidants
as blueberries.
Dad, have they called me from casting?
Rocio, enough.
By the way Dani, I've been researching our little matter.
It seems it's all about seeds.
Seeds?
So the baby could come out black then!
What, Dani? Why would it be black?
Well if it's a chia seed...
Uncle Paco and Auntie Carmen are here. You guys know how the surprise goes.
Not a word about the baby until we give you the signal.
Sara, your headphones!
Dad,
when are you going to die?
She's obsessed.
Asking me every day when I'm going to die.
- How sweet. - Adorable.
What's going on?
- I'm leaving Paco. - Here we go.
- Anyway... - Why?
Because this fool doesn't want children
and my biological clock is ticking.
For Pete's sake honey, you're so young. I'm not saying no, just next year.
Next year you'll say next year, and next
until I hit menopause.
Give me a break! There's still time until then!
It's really unfair.
You've been married as long as us and you have 5 kids
and we have none.
Uncle Paco,
Auntie Carmen, look!
ANOTHER BABY
WE'RE GOING
TO HAVE
What's wrong with Auntie Carmen?
We put the words in the wrong order. It looks like Baby Yoda did it.
No kids, that's not the reason.
So what is it then?
Nah, she's just menopausal.
Now I'm really going to leave you.
You two are going to split up?
No, for Pete's sake.
You wish!
If you split up, will Auntie Carmen still be part of the family?
Of course, and we'll still come to parties, but from then on...
A present from each of you!
Rocio!
What's menopausal?
That.
Paco!
I can't believe that Paco and Carmen are going to split.
Yeah.
You know what's more unbelievable? That breast feeding
directly affects the baby’s I.Q. and its immune system.
What's up? Going on “Who Wants to be a Millionaire?”
Funny.
What's going on, Rocio?
Dad, I know why they didn't call me from casting.
- Why? - Because II'm not Andalusian.
Well how about that? Mystery solved.
To get your due, honey chile,
ya gotta be from the south, that's why I'm Andalusian.
Now there ya go!
Good, honey,
it's late, off to bed, there ya go!
Seriously, breast feeding
elevates your oxytocin levels
and scientific evidence says
there's less of a risk of osteoporosis and breast cancer.
We should breastfeed
for at least two years.
WE should?
Yes, and we should go to prenatal classes.
You know? Maybe YOU should go, because I've given birth 5 times.
I know babe, but without any prep.
Maybe it'd be better with the proper certification.
Sure,
but we would need help at home
to be able to go to those classes.
Fine with me. And I'm sure the kids
would love to have a live-in grandma.
No, no, dear.
We can't impose. She's living peacefully, enjoying her retirement.
I'm against exploitation.
We got ourselves into this, we'll get by...
Then chill.
Because if you're going to be like an annoying in-law, I won't take it.
Understood. Perfect. I'll chill. Not one complaint from me.
THREE MONTHS LATER
I just asked if you'd let the baby listen
to its daily half hour of classical music.
It makes a kid more intelligent.
Sure, I'll breast feed until it's 8, right?
That alone will win it a Nobel Prize.
Are you nuts? The baby can't have sugar!
If you eat sugar while pregnant, the baby will be aggressive!
Leave me alone, you're stressing me out.
I've always eaten sugar while pregnant
and the kids came out great!
This is war!
Please, I'm working.
My Science project!
How about you shut up?
What's going on here?
Please, we're trying to make sure Mom relaxes
and you guys are stressing her out.
We have the first sonogram!
Who wants to see?
- Yeah. - Okay.
Landsakes, honey chile, that's an ugly baby!
- Rocio! - But it's true, honey chile!
STOP talking that way! Three months with that ridiculous accent!
I told you, I'm Andalusian and we southerners talk this-a way, honey pie!
You are NOT Andalusian, and southerners don't talk that way.
She's kinda got a point though.
Pretty ugly. I'm not gonna take him for a walk!
How do you know it's a boy?
No earrings.
Wrong. It's a girl.
What? Another girl? She probably won't like soccer either.
Why not? Of course. Besides,
what do you care, you already get to play with Dad.
Dad? He hasn't let me play in 3 months as coach.
Son, when I took over coaching, I didn't know how bad you were.
You were always on the bench,
I didn't see you play.
- He's never in the lineup? - Understand babe,
I love Dani, but we're first in the league.
You don't know the pressure. It's bad.
Coach, you're a disgrace! Everyone needs to play!
Put your kid in the game!
You don't have the balls to do it?
No wonder Dani's upset.
He's in ballet, soccer and everything else to work off energy
and it turns out that you have him sitting on the bench the whole time.
He needs to be sitting down at home.
Tell him that he'll be in the lineup next game.
Relax babe, inhale,
exhale. It's so important to relax.
Dani, I've been thinking about it and I think
you should drop soccer and focus on ballet.
Why, Dad?
Because you're really bad at soccer.
I'm bad at ballet, too.
That's it. It's better that you focus on just one thing.
That way, instead of being bad at two things,
you can just be superbad at one.
What?
- You told him you're putting him in? - Yes,
he's off the team.
What?
If it's all about tiring him out, it's best he take double the ballet lessons.
Honey, his ballet lessons are Tuesdays and Thursdays, that's it.
He's going to spend the rest of the time here, dancing at home.
Go back there and tell him you're putting him back on the team.
Son, I want you back on the team.
The important thing is that we're together.
Are you gonna let me play?
No way, are you nuts?
Dad, you're not putting any “super food” in the cart, it's all junk.
Super Food? Never tried it. Get a box and we'll try it.
Dad, super food is anything that helps your metabolism, like antioxidants.
Antioxidants? I didn't know I was rusty.
Dad, I found a bed for the baby.
Honey, that's a dog bed. Put it back.
- What's this? - What's wrong?
One of the moms is flirting with Rosaura.
I can't leave her for a minute...
Don't tell Mom.
She thinks that someone is going to snatch
her away from us, it's bad for her nerves.
- Leticia! How are you? - Good, and you Javier?
What were you two giggling about?
Oh, a little inside joke.
Rosaura is the bomb.
Plenty of spark.
Rosaura, I forgot the lemons. Could you get them?
- Okay, sure. - Ciao, sweetie.
- See you! - Ciao, sure.
What's your game?
My game?
Leticia, I won't tell Marisa about this little episode.
But just so you know, she's become pretty feisty during her pregnancy.
So, just a heads up.
I was just telling her to take care of her hands,
because they're getting too dry
for her age.
I wouldn't let my housekeeper wash up without rubber gloves.
Excuse me, but we get our Rosaura
the best dishwasher on the market, we don't skimp on that.
Look,
with aloe vera, neutral PH, and chamomile.
Well then, if she's so happy, you've nothing to worry about, right?
Ciao!
Here, put that back and get the one we always buy.
- I'm here. - Let's leave.
And don't run off like that.
If Marisa hears that you've been consorting
with the enemy...
REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY
Hey, I've just been thinking about the earrings.
I let down my guard with the other girls,
but no way is this one getting holes in her ears.
And why not?
Logic. You have a brand new baby, to keep safe, you care for her
until she's 18 years old and the first thing you do is put holes in her?
Let her decide later.
But when she's older, piercing her ears is going to hurt.
Then why not tattoos?
If a tattoo will hurt later on,
when she's born
we'll put big Chinese symbols on her back to save her the suffering.
So I can get a tattoo now?
No!
It's not fair!
You never let me do anything!
What? I let you do a lot of things!
Homework, make your bed... if you don't it's because you don't want to.
I'm sick of this! Every time I ask you if I can go out, you say no.
Well then why don't you get THAT tattooed,
- so you don't forget it? - I hate you!
Honey, inhale.
Exhale, relax... This isn't good for you.
- She's just unbearable. - It's scary.
Her hormones are raging.
I'm going to talk to her.
Sara, honey, what's going on with you and your mother?
She's just unbearable!
Yeah, it's scary. Her hormones are raging.
Dad, you don't know what I have to take.
She gets my phone, reads my texts and corrects my typos!
- Inspection! - Mom!
The condition for having a phone is that I could read your texts at any time.
“gr8! I have to do my grammar homework again.
The teacher h8s me.” Unbelievable.
It's true. She just doesn't like me.
Doesn't like you? Sara, for God's sake. It's spelled "great," not "gr8."
Mom, spelling everything out isn't cool.
Correct it right now.
Which one?
- Both! - Both?
I'll fix one, but not both!
Well, two mistakes...
Right?
You understand me, she doesn't stop humiliating me!
Well in my day, it wasn't cool to speak English.
See? She'd have gotten beat up.
Still gives me the chills.
How do you say that in English, smartypants?
Leave us, we're talking.
So, did you give her a good talking to?
I said she could go on that camping trip in 3 months.
That'll keep her happy until then.
You did what?
Nothing wrong with her camping out with her girlfriends, right?
Girlfriends? Boys are going too!
What do you mean, boys?
How do you know?
Cripes! You scared me.
You came outta nowhere.
“I'm dying to go camping to see if something happens with Junior.”
What's this about Junior?
What? I spelled everything out and didn't use any abbreviations.
Nothing's enough for you!!
I'll talk to her.
Sara,
your mother said there's a boy we don't know going camping.
Sorry, but that's out now.
You told her she can't go.
I told her to bring the boy over tomorrow to see a movie with us
so we can meet him.
What?
Babe, I know what I'm doing.
I can't just take away the permission I gave her a minute ago.
I don't want her to hate us both.
What I can do is take away this kid's desire to go camping
or be anywhere near Sara for the rest of his days.
This can't end well.
Is Sara here? We were going to watch a movie.
Yes, she said you were coming.
- So where's her bedroom? - What do you mean, her bedroom?
Didn't I say we were watching a movie together?
Of course, but not on a tiny screen. The living room is better.
We have a huge high-def flat screen. Very cool. Come in, come in.
So you're Junior. Come on in. Sara's always blabbing about you.
Dad!
Look! Here comes Sara. We can start watching the movie now.
We?
This is amazing. Here's the chariot race.
This is great, nothing like today's trash.
Honey, go make some popcorn.
Show that you're a good hostess.
Okay, Junior.
What are your intentions with my daughter?
- Huh? - That. What's your plan?
I'm not an old-fashioned dad who doesn't let boys come over to the house.
I'm more like a friend to my kids than a dad.
What are you doing?
Sweetheart!
You have teeth.
Of course Paulita, everyone does.
So you haven't touched my sister yet.
‘Cause my dad says if you touch my sister, he'll knock your teeth out.
How did it go with Junior?
Mildly put, a catastrophe,
but at least he'll stop hanging out with Sara.
You're naive, Dad.
You're not going to stop a couple of kids with raging hormones.
By the time the camping date rolls around, they won't be talking.
Just deny the inevitable. Like Trump and climate change.
You wanna make a bet?
THREE MONTHS LATER
See you later.
See you Sunday. Have a great time.
You owe me
a Master's Degree in Sustainable Development.
Well with a little luck, by university,
we'll have killed off the planet.
I'm late, sorry.
I had to drive my daughter to the bus.
Relax, I've already examined Marisa, she's dressing.
How is everything?
Great, but it's been 7 months and from now on
she needs bedrest
because of insufficient placenta, I already explained to her.
Right, but it's not like I can't move.
Please don't flip out, let me breathe a little, okay?
Yes, no need for bedrest
all day long,
but no housework.
Naturally, no driving
or lifting, nothing like that.
Please keep an eye on her.
I told her that now is a good time to get the grandmother in on this.
No!
No, we can manage.
Don't worry! She'll be treated like a queen.
Rosaura and I are an invincible team.
Senor, we have to talk.
You're pregnant?
Pardon?
Since the last time Marisa said that to me
I thought she was going to leave me
and it turned out she was pregnant...
No, I'm not pregnant. But I AM going to leave you.
What? No, Rosaura, for God's sake.
What? Is there someone else?
Yes.
Who?
I don't want to say, and make you suffer
unnecessarily.
It's that mom, right?
I knew it.
I just didn't want to believe it.
The flirting in the store.
She seduced you. The novelty,
and you and I are in a boring rut.
It's easy to make someone happy in a brief encounter in the supermarket.
But what can she give you that I can't?
Double the salary, 8-hour days,
and 1 month vacation.
Are you saying you'd take off with the first person
who offers you decent working conditions?
I didn't expect that from you.
Senor, you have to understand. I have kids too.
No, you don't, you tried that one on me already.
That's right. But I have a mother
and a bunch of family
- that counts on me. - I understand
Rosaura, I do. But this is terrible for Marisa,
everything affects her 3 times as much.
Why don't we say that you're going to your mom, who's ill?
When the baby is born, we'll see.
Your mother's sick?
I'm so sorry.
That's terrible.
We're going to miss you, Rosaura.
When her mom dies, she'll come back.
Soon, right Rosaura?
Yes, senor.
Show a little more enthusiasm about your mom dying!
I'm not exactly sure what you want me to say.
What are you doing?
You don't need to call anyone.
Rosaura left everything organized, you'll see.
Besides, now I can manage just fine with the kids.
They're much more mature and have calmed down.
Yeah, sure they have.
Remember when Dani would jump from high places
- and yell: "Look Dad, I'm Superman!"? - I sure do.
Well, he doesn't do that anymore.
Look Dad, I'm Billy Elliot!
Dani, stop it now.
Besides cracking your head open,
your mom needs her rest.
Didn't you want me to concentrate on ballet to get twice as bad at it?
Yes son, but you've done that already.
You're as bad at it as you can possibly be.
Shut up!
You've done it. She's awake.
Sorry, babe.
What are you doing? I can't stand this!
All I need is a little sleep!
Is that too much to ask?
My love, don't get upset. Inhale, exhale.
- Relax... - What did you say?
Okay, don't relax. Wait.
I have a great idea.
I'll take them to sleep over at Uncle Paco's bachelor pad.
Some pizzas, a movie...
Look, do whatever you want, but I don't want to hear you. Please.
Get some rest.
What do you think of that? We'll bring sleeping bags and it'll be an adventure.
Yeah!
I don't want to go to Uncle Paco's.
Come on Dani, he's very lonely.
No way. He never showers or cleans. It stinks there.
Look. I'm going to tell you.
Your sisters don't know this
because it's a surprise. We're actually going to Disneyland Paris.
- Seriously? - Get your stuff together and, shhh.
Dad, this isn't the way to Uncle Paco's place.
That's ‘cause we're not going to Uncle Paco's.
So where we headin’, honey chile? To Seville?
You totally miss that accent.
Are you a dweeb? Not Seville, Disneyland Paris!
Are you stupid, Dani? Disneyland Paris?
Tell ‘em, Dad. We're going, right?
Dani, this isn't the way to Disneyland Paris.
What would you know about how to get there?
Not through Navalcarnero, for sure.
Honey chile, looks like you mus' be lost.
Can you speak normal?
We southerners speak this-a way.
No! And if you have to say “honey chile”
every 2 words, you're not doing it right.
Dad, when you die, can I drive?
We'll see.
Seriously Dad, where are you taking us?
No idea.
Wherever your sister's cell phone leads us.
What?
Fine, I'll tell you. We're on a secret mission.
The enemy could've of ratted us out and that would've been the end of us.
Huh?
We might've told Mom and that would be the end of Dad.
Well, that's one way of putting it. Look,
we're here.
What's the mission?
As soon as we set up camp, you'll know.
First,
let's set up the tent.
That's not a tent. It's an old inflatable boat.
Seriously?
Folded up like that, it looked like a tent.
A minor setback. We won't let that bring us down.
Sure ‘nuf. Lan’ sakes, what is this important mission?
This is where Sara's campin’, honey chile.
Exactly. We have to watch all night.
Anything between Sara's and Junior's tent
should be reported.
TWO HOURS LATER
I have no idea what that is.
It's a flashlight bonfire.
If you can't roast hotdogs or get warm,
what's the point?
On the bright side, no forest fires.
Right.
But why is he feeding her a gummy bear?
Everyone should be eating their own gummy bears! Red flag.
I'm going to call Sara.
- Dad, please. - Dad, we're cold.
It's colder than the jury at “Top Singer Kids”!
Go get in the car!
You go and keep ‘em out of trouble.
This is a critical situation. Let's go!
What are you doing, honey?
Camouflage!
Here we go.
Look,
there's the tent.
Careful, the cords, don't trip.
What's going on?
- A bear! A bear! - What?
Calm down! It doesn't want to hurt us!
Please don't hit me, I'm Sara's father.
What? I don't know him.
What's that?
That's my sister. What are you doing here?
We were just missing you.
Hi, Junior. How's it going?
I'm not going to be speaking to you for the next 5 years, right?
I have never been more mortified
in my entire life.
Yes, I know you're willing.
Don't worry, we don't need you for the time being.
We're just fine.
Talk later, big kiss.
Weren't you going over
to Paco's?
Sara, why are you here?
Ask Dad.
Nothing.
She just had a spat with that boy at camp
and asked me to come get her, poor baby.
Well, at least it wasn't your fault, ‘cause you know the score.
One more strike and you know who I'm calling.
Take it easy, hon. I won't give you any reason to call anybody.
Right.
Dad, come here. Something very serious happened. Hurry.
Please, Carlota, what is it? You know it's Sunday and Mom needs her rest.
Rocio's run away.
What?
“Sorry I need to be truly Andalusian.
You've been good parents. Good luck with the other kids”.
- Sara, have you seen Rocio? - Don't speak to me.
Carlota, we're going to look for Rocio. But this is just between us.
We can't tell anybody.
Because if your mom hears about this, she'll flip.
Rocio's run away?
Great! Now there's room for a dog.
Everyone get dressed and we'll meet in the car.
Where could she have gone?
If she wanted to go, she probably went to Andalusia.
Sure, like she would know how to go.
Who knows where she could be?
Dad! You just passed her.
Whew, thank God. Now be quiet guys.
You aren't going to get her?
No, better let's go get a dog!
Yeah!
Rocio! Good morning!
She's getting away.
What are you up to, sweetie?
Didn't ya'll read my note, honey chile?
Of course, that's why I came. To drive you to the airport.
Right.
If your dream is to become Andalusian, your dad should support your dreams.
I don't believe you.
You decide. Because
it's a long walk to Seville, it's really far.
That's right.
Walking to Seville takes at least an hour and a half.
Pretty slick, Dad. You got her.
- What? - No, we're really going to the airport.
REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY
You'll see how this stops such silliness for the rest of her life.
I TOOK THE KIDS TO THE PARK. YOU REST DEAR.
I need to pee.
Honey, are you crying?
I hate Dad.
Junior was about to ask me out and since
I had to leave camp
because of Dad, he asked someone else.
That's not the version your dad told me.
But how did you find out, sweetheart?
Ana sent me a message.
Let's see.
“Dude, Junior asked that kow Nuria out”.
Ana,
- "Dude..." - What are you doing?
Explaining to her that this isn't right.
Cow is spelled with a c, not a k.
I can't believe it.
Yes sweetie, it's a c, not a k.
I just lost Junior because of Dad!
I thought you were being understanding.
Of course honey, sorry. Come here,
give me a hug.
When I go pee.
Well this is where we part ways, dear. After we drop you off
we're going to a fun park and get ice cream.
Yeah!
I'm getting two scoops.
And not any old ice cream. It's going to be caramel brownie.
- Excellent! - Yipee!
- Dad, you're being silly. - No, no.
I'm thrilled that you're going.
- Next. - A ticket
to Seville,
for my daughter. She wants to go there alone and become Andalusian.
But we just have one-way tickets.
If she leaves, she can
never come back.
That doesn't matter to her.
It has to be Seville, even without a home, food or a family.
So that's that, then. Shall I check your bag?
Of course, honey chile.
Thank you very much. Game's over.
We're going home.
Rocio. Rocio!
- I'm off to Seville! - Rocio, you're going to get it!
- Come here! - Dad!
Kids. Let's go.
Help! Help! I'm being kidnapped!
We'll talk when we get home.
No...
Where's Dani?
- Leave me alone. - Don't even think about it. Let's go.
This is a kidnapping. I plan on runnin’ away agin’, honey chile.
Hello, you.
Sara's been crying in her room because Junior decided to forget her.
Really!?
I mean, seriously?
Where were you all?
Uh, the park.
At the park, eh?
Yes. We left you a note, didn't you see it?
I saw THIS note.
You really want me to have a conniption?
I warned you. And this time I won't take no for an answer.
You're calling Grandma?
No, please! She a harpy.
What's a harpy?
It means she's very kind and affectionate. Please don't call her.
Too late.
Grandma!
- Hello! - Hello pumpkins!
Come on, come on.
You're all so big!
What about me? Do I look younger?
- Sure. Younger than King Tut. - Please.
- Hello, Javier. - Hello.
I'm here.
Oh my Dani, you're so handsome. Better looking than Tom Croise.
Who?
Your grandma's a little
“antique”. It's pronounced Tom Croos.
Well Dad, you also say “wee fee” and it's pronounced “wifi”.
Grandma, did you bring gifts?
Yes, I brought you a gift that you're all going to love.
- Especially Paulita. - Wow!
- A doggy! - I can't believe it.
She did this to irk me.
Why would she do this to irk you if she didn't know you were against it?
She can't barge into our lives this way.
I named him Jose Luis. So you won't fight over
naming him, there are many of you and I know you.
Hey, aren't a couple of kids missing?
Girls. Sara and Rocio.
Rocio is grounded in her room. She tried to run away,
and threatened to do it again.
I'll take care of it, relax. I'm going to talk to her.
She'll take care of it!
Can't you see what a busybody she is? She'll take care of it.
Can I come in? I want to say I'm sorry
and it'll never happen again.
I don't want to run away to Seville anymore.
Darling! And she's speaking normally again.
What? Was it a good idea, or not?
Grandma has made it clear to me
that it didn't make much sense and that it's much better to stay here
and celebrate my First Communion.
What?
Look Rocio, whether or not you know it, your soul
has a spiritual quest worthier than trying to become Andalusian.
It's going to give you a much deeper satisfaction.
Irking your Dad.
This woman's obsession with Holy Communion! Her sisters haven't had it!
Yes they have.
- Oh really? - Yes,
Oh yeah.
But that's because you caught me with my guard down. Like the ear whole thing.
It's unaffordable.
This woman plans these celebrations as if they were weddings.
Calm down, it'll be a simple affair.
She's been here ten minutes and we already have a dog and a communion.
You don't value the fact
that our daughter no longer wants to be a runaway.
Relax, no one is going to take over your kingdom.
You're paranoid.
No way.
- What does this mean? - What?
Welcome Milagros. Welcome Milagros. Welcome Milagros.
Listen Javier.
If she's come to help us, she needs to be in on everything.
This chat is my territory. Why does this woman have to horn into my chat?
Babe, she has to be aware of everything so she can lend a hand.
And stop calling her “this woman".
What do you want me to call her? Have you seen how she treats me?
But she loves you so much.
Yeah, she loves me so much. She dislikes me,
but she hides it, then I'm the one that looks bad.
I told you, she's going to stick her nose into everything.
Not at all. We've talked about it. She won't intrude, you'll see.
Breakfast!
Oh, great example for the girls, walking around
in your ugly underwear.
I'm in my room.
Sweetie, you rest up,
I'll bring you breakfast in bed in a minute.
Okay.
Do you think this underwear is ugly?
Grandma,
when are you going to die?
Don't worry. I'm sure your Dad will die first.
Good one.
- Sweetheart, do you want some honey? - Honey?
No way I'll eat anything that exploits animals to get it.
What does animal exploitation have to do with honey?
It's true, wasps make honey because they want to.
Bees, you oaf.
Don't insult your ignorant sister.
Well kids, we're done.
Get your backpacks, let's go to school.
If you think I'm leaving you alone with the kids, you're nuts.
You know nothing about them.
Carlota, come here, I'll brush your hair.
Let's see. What's Paulita allergic to?
- To some nuts. - Which?
Almonds, walnuts
- and peanuts. - Hah!
Peanuts are legumes, not nuts!
- Hah! I'll brush my own hair. - Sorry, sweetheart.
What's going on? Can't a person sleep around here?
Marisa, she said a peanut is a nut. This woman is a danger to the kids.
That's what all this fuss is about?
She wants to take my kids to school!
- Your car is bigger. I'll take your keys. - That's perfect.
That way you can do the dishes, the laundry, make the beds...
And walk the dog!
Don't worry if your dad and I argue, eh? We still love each other very much.
Yeah, Dad adores you.
- Is that right? - Yeah.
He always calls you a harpy.
He's an oaf.
What's an oaf?
An oaf is a gentle, kind
and very generous person.
What?
Jose Luis, so this is how it's gonna be?
It's over, this is war.
Grandma,
why do you have so many wrinkles?
Wrinkles, me?
What nonsense!
Where do I have wrinkles?
Forgive her,
at her age kids ask uncomfortable questions.
No, I look fine.
Paulita, come here a minute.
What's that you have there?
Nothing.
What did your dad give you?
Nothing.
Let's see, show me.
Show me the other.
What are you doing?
Open your mouth.
Javier, what did you give her, because she's swallowed it!
Swallowed what? I didn't give her anything. She's tricking you.
Yeah, right.
Grandma, come here!
What now?
Come on Grandma, hurry!
Coming Dani!
What have you done?
Where are you off to? To walk the dog.
This dog?
I almost forgot. Where is my head?
Isn't she a little old to be accidentally swallowing coins?
Actually, she swallowed it on purpose,
so her grandma wouldn't take it from her.
There's nothing on the X-ray.
There has to be.
Are you sure you swallowed it? Let's see...
Could this be the coin?
It was in her pocket.
Really, Paulita?
I get why you'd fake swallowing the coin,
but why didn't you say anything?
Grandma.
- Yes? - Dad said
if I tell you that you have wrinkles
he'd give me a euro.
What a snake.
Okay, now I'm going to give you two euros if you fake swallowing it.
Where is Sara?
In the bathroom. If you knew your grandchildren, you wouldn't have to ask.
Sara, get the heck out of the bathroom!
Don't shout, you'll wake Marisa!
Grandma, is God more powerful than Superman?
Of course, Dani. He's the Almighty.
So if God and Superman get into a fight, God would win?
Obviously he would win.
But God never fights anyone.
Why doesn't he fight if he knows he can win?
Okay, Rocio and I have an appointment with the priest
and we're late. Dani, come with us
and you can ask your questions to the priest.
You need spiritual guidance.
Just a minute. He can't go with you. We have a game.
But you never put him in the lineup.
But we're together and he loves that. You prefer to come with me, right son?
Well if you let me play...
Fine. You win. Take him.
If you won't play Dani, at least take the dog out!
Let's go.
Father, my granddaughter would be so happy
to have her Holy Communion with her friends.
She hasn't done Catechism.
It's impossible. Besides, it's this Sunday.
But I teach Catechism at Don Eusebio's parish.
I'll give her an intensive course
and she'll be ready in time, you have my word.
You know how fond I am of Don Eusebio,
but it can't be done.
Father, no one knows this,
but I have six months to live.
Oh, Holy Mother of God.
I don't want to die without having seen my granddaughter have her Communion.
Okay, Rocio, listen to me. Let's start from the beginning.
You're baptized, right?
Yes, of course.
And do you know what happens when you are baptized?
Yes. They take the devil out of you.
No, they don't take the devil out of you.
They leave him in?
The important thing is that she believes deeply in God.
What do you think God is like?
God?
God is an oaf.
I'm here! Dani, we won the game!
What's going on?
You can't come in. We're trying Rocio's dress on.
You promised it would be very simple. Why can't I come in?
Because it's bad luck for the dad to see the dress before the Communion.
I knew it. This is getting way outta hand.
Not at all!
Well Milagros, all set. The child is a beauty,
looks just like you, the dress is gorgeous.
Thanks, Lorenzo.
No, thank you.
That sweater. Not even in Goodwill.
- I owe you one. - You owe me several.
Who is this man?
- The tailor. - This is madness.
You're right. These moms are so competitive.
They're completely blind.
You gotta have three layers of taffeta.
If not, they'll eat us alive.
Speaking of food, since you're right by the door,
why don't you go to the market, we need some groceries.
What else to distance me from my children?
Take the older ones, they lose their charm for me when they're older.
Hello.
- Hello. - How are you?
- You've changed your hair. - My boss takes me to her hairdresser.
And sometimes, when my back hurts, she gives me massages.
And...
Are you happy?
No, not that one.
You have to get that one.
It's better for our washing machine.
Sorry, better for your washing machine.
Yes, how clumsy of me. You liked this one best.
Rosaura. Oh, hi.
Hi.
I've sent some options in the chat for Nati's gift.
Strange. No one's answered, and it's been two minutes.
Javier, the rest of us have lives, we're not on the chat all day
like some are.
Come on, Rosaura.
- Let's go. - Yes,
Let's go home, Rosaurita.
Well, goodbye.
Goodbye.
Was that Rosaura?
Wasn't she taking care of her sick mother?
No honey. It must be we miss her so much that she looked like her.
I just saw Rosaura in the cosmetics section.
You guys are older, I can tell you.
But don't tell your mother, it'll upset her.
Let's see what happens when the baby is born.
Rosaura has left us for another family.
She's made a new home with them.
I wish I could do the same.
Honey, what's wrong? You're acting strange.
Are you mad about Rocio's dress? It's just that.
The rest is going to be simple.
I sure hope not.
It's not that. I don't understand.
No one's answering my WhatsApp messages about Nati's gift.
Maybe it's not working.
Okay, it is working.
I need to pee again, cripes!
I can't believe it!
Me neither! Did you take my cellphone?
Don't change the subject. Can you explain this?
It's not what it looks like.
It's not a parallel chat created by this woman to get Nati a gift?
Well yes, I guess so.
That the other mothers do this to me,
but YOU too?
When you know full well that Nati would never wear a poncho?
But it's cashmere.
This isn't over. Enough is enough.
I'm not falling for that this time.
What the...?
How dare you come in without knocking?
Well I operate now like you do.
Why did you create another chat about Nati's gift?
Who's Nati?
Who's Nati? Who's Nati?
Your granddaughter's teacher.
Oh.
If you don't know her name, how can you know her tastes and needs?
Giving her a basket of creams is like telling her that her skin is too dry.
It's practically an insult.
And giving her a poncho is like saying she's fat.
Well, we give two options and she can choose.
Sure, and ruin the surprise. How tactless!
It's your only option because all the moms are with me.
Oh yeah?
We'll face off at the school and ask her in person.
A basket full of high-quality beauty products and relaxation,
- or a poncho? - A cashmere one.
Really, I don't want anything.
It's the same every year. This really
stresses me out.
She says she's stressed out.
That's a nice way of saying she prefers the basket.
Are you upset? It's impossible to know with all that botox.
If you're not upset yet,
you will be. Things are going to start getting back in place from now on.
What do you want?
What do you mean? I came to visit my brother when he's down and out.
Paco, what do we say? Through thick and thin.
Seriously. Why are you here?
No seriously, Paco.
What's up with you? This looks like a war zone.
It's not worth it to clean up for myself.
You're in luck. I brought you a roommate.
A dog?
- That's all I need! - It'll be great company for you.
But no one in the family can know you have him.
And if they see him, you can't say I gave him to you.
Let's see, knowing the grandmother, I'll venture to reconstruct the facts.
She gave them this dog irk you, and now you're going to act like he got away
by dumping him on me.
How can you think that of me?
That's not it?
Actually, you nailed it.
Typical of her. And you.
Help me out here, Paco.
You know, through thick and thin?
Look, I don't know who cooked this up.
Take this.
What's this?
- Dog food. - He has his own food?
Of course, bro.
Good thing you told me, I would've given him leftover pizza, chicken bones...
No man, no.
Sunday is Rocio's Communion, don't forget. You're coming, right?
Is Carmen going?
Of course.
Then sure.
Good excuse to shower. I'm not motivated to shower just for myself.
Okay. But shower a couple of times.
Hi!
- Where are you guys? - Dad!
We can't find Jose Luis!
That's strange, he must be around. You haven't searched everywhere.
He's not here!
He's pulling a fast one on you, keep looking.
What the heck is that?
Oh, you're home. Just in time.
What is going on here?
We're sampling the reception menu.
Reception menu?
Are you the one to sample the dishes?
The entree: Breast of roast duck
with mushrooms topped with a chestnut foam
and a puree of gooseberries and foie-gras with corn blinis.
I'm warning you.
If meat is served, I'm not going.
- Can you excuse us for a moment? - Yes,
You've gone too far. We're talking to Marisa.
Marisa isn't here.
What?
She's supposed to be resting!
- Where is she? - With my friend Carlosi.
- Excuse me? - Carlosi.
With Rocio trying out makeup and hairdos.
Trying out what?
Makeup and hairdos!
Voila!
A bit over the top, no?
You think? True.
Now.
Excuse me,
could you give us a minute?
What?
Are you throwing me out me of your kitchen?
That's a first for me.
Excuse me.
Start tidying up, if your mother sees this when she gets here,
she's going to break water.
You better leave this spotless.
Dad, I can't find Jose Luis. He's disappeared.
No Paulita, impossible. Look again.
The dog's disappeared?
What?
Calm down.
Maybe he took a walk on his own. You guys are all over him,
maybe he needed some space.
Oh sure. The dogs needs his space
and you went and got me from camp.
You're a girl.
And Jose Luis is a puppy.
Look. One dog year equals seven human years.
So, technically, Jose Luis is an adult.
He's three dog months old. So he's a two-year-old adult.
He's a “two-year-old adult”.
Look. If he hasn't come back in a week, we'll organize a serious search. Okay?
When Rocio ran away, we went looking for her right away.
Dad, I made a drawing of Jose Luis so we could find him!
What a good idea,
Paulita. Great. A police sketch.
We can put posters of that up.
That's much better than a photograph.
Ah! Here I come!
Maybe in the utility room.
Go with Sara and try one more time.
What should I do?
You stay with me and try to tidy up before Marisa gets back.
All tidy.
Hi, we're back!
Let's not mention the dog to Marisa, she doesn't need to get upset.
- Hi. - Mom!
The doggy ran away!
WHAT?
Yes, your husband let him get away.
I can't believe it.
Have you no shame? She's the one who let you go out!
Why are you going places when you should be resting?
Don't change the subject!
Dad, I broke open my Disneyland Paris
piggybank savings
and I have 5 euros and 50 cents.
What for?
For the reward.
- Aw, that's too cute! - I have a euro.
Dad gave it to me to say that Grandma has wrinkles.
- Oh yeah. - What?
And don't you have the other two
Grandma paid you to fake swallowing the coin?
Now I'm really going to flip.
This is what happens for going out. Just go rest now.
Come on, I'll go with you.
Yeah, go with her. It's all your fault.
Look, Dani.
You're intentions are good, but this won't get us anywhere.
I'm going to put in 200 euros
so the reward will be juicier.
Thanks, Daddy!
Why wouldn't 1? When Jose Luis means so much to all of us?
- Nothing. - No sign of Jose Luis.
Come on. Let's make the signs.
REWARD! 200 EURO REWARD!
Poor Jose Luis.
No one's called.
Sooner or later, he'll show up, don't worry.
If not, I'll get you another one!
Grandma! Do you think a living being is like an object that you can replace?
Well said, sweetheart. Of course not, where's your sensitivity?
Calm down, he'll show up, for sure...
Let's talk about something else.
Dani, did you know that if we win tomorrow we'll win the tournament?
And it's all thanks to you!
Me? I've never been in a game.
Of course, that's why. If you had played, we never would've have won.
Don't be silly, it's a joke. Look,
I bought you a league album.
I don't care.
It's a sticker album.
I'm going to see who that is. Eat up your cake guys,
no matter how bad it is, Grandma made it with love.
What's this? Why are you here?
I don't want him anymore. I'm returning him.
No, are you crazy?
In just one hour he took two dumps in my shoes. He's destroyed my house!
But it was already destroyed.
Take him away!
I don't want this mutt, dammit! He's yours!
- Take this mutt back! - No way.
Surprise! Uncle Paco found the dog.
- Jose Luis! - Doggy!
- Where was he? - Thanks, Uncle Paco.
You shouldn't have run away.
Thanks, he says?
I want my 200 euros!
Where were you?
Are you hungry?
First position,
second position,
- third position. - Dani, do you think
the forest elves tidy up your toys?
I'm practicing ballet.
- Sure. - Grand plie,
fifth position.
Pablo has diarrhea, he can't go to the game tomorrow.
Fer is sick too.
Luis has gastroenteritis.
I have no team left!
Grand plie.
Grand battement forward.
Dani, son, just a minute here.
You've concentrated your efforts on how bad you are at ballet.
I'm proud of you.
You're truly as bad as you can be at ballet.
So I'm going to put you in the game tomorrow.
Really?
Yes, son. Now go to bed,
tomorrow's the big day.
What's going on now?
Don't you know how to knock?
Sorry.
Who are all these people?
Why are you screaming?
Sweetie,
why are five girls
in their nighties jumping and screaming like monkeys on Rocio's bed?
It's like the girl from “The Exorcist”
times five.
It's her pre-Communion pajama party.
You're even throwing her a hen party before this?
Don't exaggerate, they'll be asleep in ten minutes.
That better be true, because we have an important game tomorrow
and I have to rest.
What's going on?
What's wrong?
I miss my mommy.
I want to go home.
- Relax, tomorrow I'll take you all home. - No.
Now.
Right now!
What's wrong, Rocio? Is this normal?
They do this at all the pajama parties.
I'm the only one that doesn't go nuts at four in the morning.
Alright, okay, I'll take you right now, but you have to stop crying.
Why are you crying? We're on the way home.
Our tummies hurt.
They gave us too much chocolate.
That's it.
That's not it. Look at Sandrita.
She isn't crying. You're fine, right Sandrita?
Good evening ma'am. Here's your daughter back.
I'm so sorry, it seems they always miss us at night.
The other night I had to take seven girls back home.
She vomited a bit.
Pardon?
They gave us chocolate.
You fed them chocolate at midnight?
Sorry, I didn't know they were Gremlins.
Where were you?
I had to take a bunch of vomiting girls back home at five in the morning.
And you Say it wasn't a hen party?
Bless their little hearts.
Come on Dad. We have a game!
I'm going to put my uniform on.
Dad, are you going to die today?
Yes, dear. Today's the day.
Carlitos, you have to give it your all today.
Yes, coach!
Dani, drop that sticker book and listen to the game plan.
I have full confidence
in you.
The plan is for you to avoid the ball at all times.
If it gets to you
by chance, pass it to Carlitos. Okay? Go team!
Hey, I'm clear here!
I'm clear!
Pass it to me!
Goal!
Come on Rober...!
Very good Dani. Very good.
Goal!
He's clear.
Carlitos! Pass it, Andres!
There you go!
Goal!
Pass it, center it.
Goal!
Careful!
Goal!
Come on, you're useless.
Just a minute left!
Hey! I'm clear!
Carlitos, pass it to Dani.
Oh no, no, no, no, no!
Come on Dani, you can do it. You've been training a lot!
Yeah, for ballet. I don't know anything about soccer.
What do you mean?
Fifth position!
Pass it to him!
Grand Batman forward.
Goal!
We won.
Dad, you were coaching in code.
You're the best coach ever!
Effort always pays off.
Though you never quite know when.
You didn't know it either, did you?
Excuse me? This was the plan from the start.
Grandma, Grandma! I scored a goal and we won!
Congratulations, love!
Come here!
What are you doing? The dog needs to go out.
Even if the world crumbles around me,
I'm not budging from this chair ‘til Monday.
No way. Tomorrow is Rocio's Communion.
No!
Don't worry Dad, you're going to die today.
Sara, get outta the bathroom already!
Dad, I can't find my shoes.
Carlota, help your brother with his shoes, please.
Paulita, why aren't you ready?
Mom and Grandma are going to be mad when they get back from the hairdressers.
I found one!
Well done, son. One to go. You can do it. How does this go?
Give it here.
What is it with these women? It's getting late.
We're here!
What happened?
Too many girls getting their hair done for their Communion.
But she just has to put her dress on and that's it.
Kids, if you're ready, start down to the car!
Mom is there waiting! Paulita, Paulita, come on.
Coming!
What are you doing?
Javier, help Rocio,
I'll dress Paulita. Come on, like, now!
What's up, Rocio?
We're going to be late!
- L'm not going. - What?
I hate this hair, I'm not going.
Hey!
How's it going?
We're okay. Have you dressed Paulita?
Yes.
Okay. Start downstairs.
Uh, go that way.
What's going on? We'll be late to the church!
Says she's not going.
Doesn't like her look.
What do you mean, your look? Put the dress on right now.
No! They gave me a French braid and I wanted a Dutch one.
Who cares? They're the same!
No, the Dutch one is “poofier”.
You're going to upset your mom
with all this talk about “poofiness”!
Really, get to the church.
Ask the priest to wait ten minutes. I'll fix this.
You're going to fix this? You?
It's better not to argue if we want to make it.
We both want Marisa to be calm. You're a friend of the priest, right?
- Yes. - Ask him for ten minutes.
Ten minutes, don't fudge it.
Rocio, honey. I was the first
not to want this three-ring circus your grandmother set up.
But you went along with it and now you're going to bail
because of your hair?
All the girls with Dutch braids will laugh at me.
When has that ever been a problem for you?
That's not you.
When you wanted
something, you went after it.
Even when you looked a bit foolish, like the casting.
You've come this far, you can't throw in the towel now.
Dad, I'm no longer the child that did that casting call.
The process of this Communion has matured me.
And it finally came to me that they were never going to call me.
Seriously?
My brother's a little
nervous, but at the reception, he'll be better.
That's nice, thank you. We'll call you.
No.
Right. So do you want to have your First Holy Communion, or don't you?
Because if you don't, we won't go.
But not because of what people will say. What do you care what people think?
Did you know that the famous singer Rosalia was turned down
from her first casting call?
Really?
Really. That's why I think we need
to get that dress on you and get going.
Okay.
Jose Luis!
- Are you coming? - Yes. Relax.
- Where are you? - We're leaving now.
Bring Jose Luis, we left him behind.
On it.
Sweetie,
we won't let this bring us down.
What did Rosalia do?
Did she give up?
No. She let her own light shine,
her own personality,
the thing that made her unique.
She dared to be different.
You're right, Dad.
I can't take this, I can't.
I can't, I really can't.
- Are you seeing what I'm seeing? - No. What?
Attention please!
Here comes the cake!
Rocio,
let's cut the cake.
Outta the way!
Kids!
Careful!
Come on, come on kids!
Dani!
Dani! Come here!
Who's with Aunt Carmen?
That's Jorge.
Who's Jorge?
Him.
Where did he come from? Why's he with your aunt?
Her boyfriend.
What?
That can't be, he's too young.
NO! He's 32!
I can't believe it.
Yeah, 32. He told me. Can I go play now?
Sure, but don't say anything to your aunt.
Relax, she already knows he's 32 and she doesn't mind.
And she doesn't mind.
Rosaura.
- What are you doing here? - Senor Paco.
I just wanted to see the children on such an important day.
But since I left them, I can only spy through the window.
I can empathize.
She thinks I left to care for my sick mother,
but I really left them for another. And now
I want to go back, but I'm embarrassed.
Of course. And now they've replaced you with someone else.
They have?
Someone younger and in better shape.
There's no need to get offensive, eh?
But you know, Rosaura?
You can't just give up.
You're going to get in there and confess
that you regret it and you want to go back.
Yes, right?
If you don't fight for your family, who else is there to fight for?
Let's go!
Thank you senor, for listening to me.
Sure.
Let's go.
Thank you, dear.
So cute.
How are things?
Great.
Very good. One of the finest Communions we've been to.
I'm beat.
Of course you are.
And especially with Rosaura leaving you at the worst possible moment.
But Javier helps out all the time now, right?
Don't even say his name.
Ever since I got pregnant, it's like I can't stand my husband.
Does that happen to you too?
At the beginning we couldn't stand him, but it's not like that now.
I meant YOUR husbands.
A moment of your attention, please.
I wanted to wait until you finished the cake,
but there's a surprise on stage.
What is it, Marisa? Do you know?
What do you mean a surprise? This is my Communion, not yours.
You're going to flip.
All that you did is nothing compared to this.
Dad! Is it what I think it is?
Sweetie, after lots of phone calls
and effort,
I got her to sing at your Communion.
Maria del Monte!
Who?
Maria del Monte, the great singer!
“I rode on your horse with you,
we counted the flowers that bloomed in May.
And I knew then
that you were in love.”
“Sing to me you said, sing to me.
Sing to me along the way. And as I held your waist,
I sang to you in the shade of the pine trees.”
Are you the Communion?
We'll sing together later, if you like.
Ole!
Please! Maria del Monte?
She thought it would be Rosalia or Isabel Pantoja, at least.
Must you be so crude?
At least I didn't put on the dress,
because you're the one who's going to wear it.
You know,
you can put lipstick on a pig,
but it's still a pig.
What a disagreeable woman.
You're a constant disappointment.
I can't understand what Marisa
saw in you.
That's about enough!
I get that you value Marisa,
and can't understand why she's with me either.
But why are you always kicking me? After all, I'm your child, not her!
Marisa, Milagros is your mother-in-law?
Yes, of course.
We thought she was your mother.
Why?
We never said that.
You must be prejudiced to come to that conclusion.
Okay son.
I'm sorry. But it's because you resemble your dad so much.
You know I loved him, but I couldn't stand him.
Like with you and your brother.
- Hi, Dad. - Hey!
Speaking to me again!
Yeah. As a matter of fact, I wanted to thank you
because I understand
that everything you've done was for my own good.
Thank you, sweetie.
Because if you hadn't scared Junior off, I might've never met Ocho.
- What Ocho? - Yes, Ocho. Him.
Bye.
Actually, you deserved that. I suggest you give in now.
Because the boyfriends are going to get worse.
Look who your wife ended up with.
Have you seen the priest?
Milagros, we're all in shock to know that you're Javier's mom.
Right? I could pass for his daughter, couldn't I?
Oh there's Father, stuffing his face.
What a funny lady.
You've been lucky to have her.
It's such a shame about her dying, right?
What?
Didn't you know?
- Who said that? - The priest.
Oh God!
..the reception food at today's communions...
Excuse me, what's this about you dying?
- Who me? Who said that? - The Father did.
The Father?
Yes, you told me.
Oh yes, I did. I'd forgotten. Yes, it's true.
- Grandma's dying? - Yeah, yeah,
enough already.
I had forgotten. I'll tell you later.
Oh my God! I'm going to lose it.
What's wrong? What's wrong?
- Your mother's dying. - What?
Well, mine's already dead.
Oh, Rosaura. You're back.
I can go back to work for you again.
What? You're going to leave me?
What? You left me for her?
This time it's for real.
She broke water! Javier! Javier!
She broke water.
Let's get in the car. Rocio, Paulita, Carlota,
Paco, gather the rest and bring them to me.
Paco, get my purse!
Mine too!
I'll help. Rosaura, you can't leave me.
I can't live without you.
Senora, I told you it was a trial run.
If the kids are too much to handle, I'll return the Chinese child.
Senora, some dignity.
Excuse me.
Dirtbag!
Don't look at me that way, or I'll do it!
Cool! This car is the bomb!
Yeah, isn't it? I got it at an estate sale. People love it.
This car suits your ego.
Superego, more like!
- Who is this? - Sara's new boyfriend.
Looks like we all have new boyfriends.
Your guy is a boyfriend?
I thought you'd adopted him. Since you were so keen on having kids...
Please! We're not going to make it to the birth.
If we don't make it now, we'll make it to the next one. No problem.
Besides, you guys can't go into the birthing room.
What's the birthing room?
It's the room where the stork drops off the baby.
Auntie Carmen, storks don't exist.
What do you mean, storks don't exist, dummy!
You too? Uncle Paco, please
explain to Auntie Carmen how babies are made.
She doesn't need any explaining, she's already adopted one.
By the way, you left him alone?
Very irresponsible.
You're going to lose custody.
Relax babe, relax. Inhale, exhale.
If you say that to me just one more time...!
It's normal. During labor they turn against the father.
Right. During labor. He's been on my nerves for 6 months.
Let's see.
Breathe. When the next contraction comes,
I want you to push with all of your strength.
Now. Come on, now!
Who wants to cut the cord?
Better that we leave it on. We've got so many, this way she won't get lost.
I'm joking, for Pete's sake.
Sure I'll cut it.
Strong, now.
My kid is thick as a brick.
- What about the other one? - He is too.
But I've already helped the other one enough.
Now I'm going to have to focus on this one.
Hey, sorry about before.
We're separated and you have every right to have a boyfriend.
Of course I do. You've decided to age,
I've decided I'm in my prime.
Sure, I deserve it.
But I just wanted to tell you that
I was imagining myself here, on the verge of being a parent...
and maybe that's not so bad...
Jorge was a waiter at the reception.
I told everyone to tell you he was my boyfriend.
The baby has been born.
He's so ugly!
Not HE, sweetheart. SHE'S ugly.
Javier!
A girl?
No earrings?
Yes, see?
Well the baby's born
and Rosaura's here. You can leave now.
Yes, my work here is done.
Now I have to go live with these two
and help them rebuild their home.
No, Mom...
Quiet! I'm your mother, even though I look like your granddaughter.
Look, the baby has my eyes.
The spitting image of me.
She's a “mini me”, whoever doesn't see it is blind.
SIX MONTHS LATER
Peter Piper picked a peck
of pickled peppers.
I said it!
Where is everyone?
Did you hear me?
Let's test this.
Sniff, sniff.
Fetch, fetch, fetch!
It's clear that Jose Luis is better than you.
Paulita, come on. We're all here.
Come on little one! We're going on a trip!
Jose Luis, you watch the house, Rosaura will take care of you.
See you later.
Well, Dani, we're here. This is your surprise.
We've brought you to the House of Mouse.
- Chuck E. Cheese? - No. Much better. Mickey Mouse!
Cool!
Awesome, Dad!
Come on, kids! It's the most wonderful place in the world!
Sometimes the morning presents itself
with a barrage of wreaths and smiles.
Sometimes a moment of happiness transforms into a whole day or two.
Sometimes a cloud of frost traps you,
fools you and leaves you warm and happy
and you get wrapped inside and out
by sunshine.
It's noon on the moon.
It's the season of salt in the sea.
Making things better is a great time
to get started.
Sometimes we sneak through a crack,
losing our shirt and watch.
Sometimes we're surprised by a gesture,
that cat looking out the balcony.
Sometimes a cloud of frost traps you, fools you
and leaves you warm and happy and you get wrapped
inside and out by sunshine.
It's noon on the moon.
It's the season of salt in the sea.
Making things better is a great time
to get started...
It's Christmas in July.
It's raining laughter and freedom.
Making things better is a great time
to get started.
Sometimes something ends when it begins, sometimes it's only just begun.
Hope sleeps with sadness, true happiness awakens.
Our dreams sneak out the door looking for other skies to cross.
They come back when you least expect it, when hope returns at Christmas.
It's noon on the moon.
It's the season of salt in the sea.
Making things better is a great time
to get started.
It's Christmas in July.
It's raining laughter and freedom.
Making things better is a great time
to get started.
WE'LL BE BACK NEXT SUMMER WITH "FATHER THERE IS ONLY ONE 3"!
DON'T WORRY, WE'RE JOKING