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When we were children and fed up with our small neighbourhood -
we used to come to this forest and wander around.
We didn't know anyone here.
We didn't have to pretend at all.
If I had done what others wanted me to do -
I don't know if I'd still be alive.
Sometimes I think I don't even know -
who I really am.
You're going to get it... Just be calm. You're great.
Don't think about winning or anything.
I feel I just want to have some fun.
I don't care if I win or lose.
Today I just want to have a blast.
We've really invested in this. Big time.
Bitch, we got this!
That's good, that's very good. I can't even breathe.
Yes, bitch!
In folklore a mermaid is an aquatic creature -
with the head and upper body of a human -
and the tail of a fish.
Are you a real mermaid?
DJ B.
This is Ursula's little sister, bitch!
This is the reason Ursula became evil!
I'm beautiful, I'm beautful damn it.
Alright.
Cheers bitch.
Congratulations.
Cheers to the motherfucking win, bitch!
Cheers.
This time I didn't care if I had lost.
I just went there to enjoy myself.
Me too, exactly.
I didn't stress at all. - I'm happy.
I just can't wait to take this shit off.
But I won 'face' anyway...!
You won drag, I won face, bitch.
I made that face.
What the hell is that? What the fuck...?
He's drunk. - Don't talk to him.
Fuck!
Fuck you!
We used to say we'll go to New York when we're 20.
We'll live and work there, do anything we want.
Now it feels unrealistic. But this is close enough.
It is good to have dreams.
But maybe it's good to just let them be dreams.
They gave me this book when I went to study in New Forest, -
in Bournemouth.
I was there studying biology. I've never once read this book.
But it looks nice on my shelf.
I'm quite happy to leave this place.
I've lived here long enough. So far away from the others.
Before, I never bothered leaving home.
I lived so far from the city centre.
I just said 'see you tomorrow' or 'I'm busy' -
even if I really wasn't.
This was my first dress.
Still fierce.
It was a month or so after I had left home.
I saw this and I bought it.
I was afraid that someone would see me and tell my family.
My mother bought me this shirt.
I'll never wear it. But I'll always have it in my closet.
I've always said Kelet's fabulous.
She's tall, she has a long neck and nice cheekbones.
Such a beautiful face. And long legs.
Every girl's dream.
Kelet is so beautiful.
She's beautiful.
Even if she doesn't know it. Or do you?
I don't know anything.
She's beautiful.
She's brave. I love that.
Are you trying to kill me? - Yes, I am.
But if you die now, at least you'll die looking fabulous.
If someone had asked me two or three years ago -
I would never have said 'I'm a trans woman.'
I would never have said I live alone.
That I don't talk to my parents.
My family lives in Manchester.
We moved there eight years ago.
I guess we just needed a change of scenery.
All I know, I hated it. Every second.
Are you serious? You're going like that?
You're going to wear that all night?
Are you serious? Can you even breathe?
They'll scream your name and you'll have to vogue.
Oh my god, girl.
We were called f******. We were called n******
We didn't belong. So we created our own world.
With our own rules.
And you know what happened? Magic.
And now with us, with Vogue.
The iconic Mother Leiomy Amazon!
She is here, DJ Tarp.
The cover of Vogue, bitch.
I have always wanted to be a runway model.
That's my biggest dream.
I used to watch Iman and Naomi Campbell videos, -
and I thought 'Oh my God, what a life!'
Watching those women kept me alive.
I thought it was my only way up.
I've applied to model agencies.
But they say they have enough Black models.
But thanks for your interest.
When I first told my parents who I am, -
they told me I'll never make it, -
because I'm a freak.
No one will accept me.
They organised a meeting where my aunt, grandmother, -
my uncle and my parents -
took me into a room.
And one by one everyone said -
if you choose to follow that road, -
we won't talk to you, we won't look at you.
We won't feed you if you're hungry.
Unless my father contacts me first, -
I won't do anything. I don't care.
It should be the other way round.
What do you mean?
It will fall.
You see? - Yeah.
It's the other way around.
Suddenly I'm your handyman.
I don't like this at all.
Shouldn't it be like the other one?
I'll fix it.
Now it's done.
Well, it's your TV, you deal with it.
Let's just give up, all right? Maybe a drink will help.
Pour it in a classy way, will you?
After that, I need an extra big glass.
Nice.
Cheers.
Do you know how cold it is outside?
No, and I don't care.
Turn it off! Oh my God!
There goes the hair dryer...
- Oh my god. - Oh my fucking god.
We have to figure out something.
Oh my god.
How did it manage to suck in all this?
Yeah, just in seconds.
And you won't put on any make up? Oh, wow.
These are good. - Beautiful!
And some of these.
I'll tell you, what they wrote me.
I'd like to present you to these agencies, -
but first I'd like to ask for your permission -
to show them your Instagram photos.
Okay... I don't know...
Why would they do that...
In some countries, maybe it could work...
But in Finland...
Yeah. A Black trans woman.
It's a big deal.
If I get gigs and there is a make-up artist...
Imagine the make-up I would have...
Do you remember, when I told you about my school?
The only time we learned -
to do make-up for a Black person -
was the time when we created characters.
You mean, you made white people look Black?
Girl...
If I get a chance, I think I'll do a few things here -
and then I'll go and work in Paris or somewhere.
I'll try to get out of here.
Though, it would be good to have someone here, in Finland.
That's how it is...
Dinner's ready!
Do you want some? - Okay.
You're about to become a model, so that's all you'll get.
Diet food.
I'll get my hormone pills.
Do you take them at a certain hour -
or when you have time?
I should take them every morning.
What?
Well, you just have to take them with food.
Ah, ok.
Here in Helsinki, there are many places we have to avoid.
For our own safety.
They shout at you or they threaten you.
We really have to pay attention to where we go.
And where we have our shows.
Vogue is a dance style born many decades ago -
in the New York ballroom scene.
Rainbow and LGBT people and people of colour came together -
in situations like the one I had to face -
when their families found out about their sexuality -
and didn't want them anymore.
Now the totem... Five, six, seven, eight.
One, two, three, four. - Wait a second.
I wonder why I'm doing this!
Kelet and Lola, how about moving your arms like this?
So that they don't open too much. Otherwise, they'll be like this!
Five, six, seven, eight. One...
Kelet, wrong foot. - It starts with left?
Left comes on two.
You've been doing this.
Don't start on one.
You're starting too early.
But you should do it like this.
I don't know who I would be if I hadn't gone down this road.
I don't want to think about it.
I was a quiet and shy kid. I was afraid of everything.
Sometimes I didn't even have the courage to go to school.
My mother taught me a lot.
But I've noticed that the mentors and 'the mothers' -
help you navigate through life.
One teaches you how to pay bills.
And another how to do make-up.
They teach you all kinds of things.
I know I'll screw this up, but...
Don't say that.
You'll be prepared and you won't screw up.
I have to say, this thing is way better than anything -
that's happening in the Finnish drag scene.
No shade towards anyone.
No one in Finland does it the way we do.
Girl.
Think if our wigs come off on stage!
It makes you feel like you have a family.
That you are safe.
Look up.
Today we'll be making history.
This will be the first POC queer party -
in the history of Helsinki Pride.
The first where the organisers are brown and people of colour.
And the target audience is brown and people of colour.
In the spirit of "Paris is Burning."
When you belong to a minority, -
you'd think other minorities would support you.
That they would get you.
But that's not how it is. - No, not in here.
Then there's Vogue and other things, -
which were born within Black culture...
I think the Finnish Vogue scene is much better now.
When I first came here, it was very small.
Now people are interested in it.
Ofimja was here before me.
In the times of Field Marshal Mannerheim.
World War II!
Me, Lola and Kelet are the only trans women in this scene.
Kelet, Lola and Roza are the only POCs.
You mean foreigners? - People of colour.
The scene is very homogeneous.
Mostly white, cis-gendered heterosexual women.
And they're mostly learning it, -
as if Vogue was like any other dance you can learn.
If it is empowering for some women, that's great.
But if you know the background -
and what it means to this community -
then it's different, it's a bitter-sweet feeling.
We are under-represented.
For example, you can't do some moves -
if you have an Adam's apple.
You can't do this, because it means -
you don't have it anymore.
Bitch, I'm gonna be hungover, but I'm gonna get..
No, I don't want to drink too much tonight.
Tomorrow's the Pride parade.
I need to be able to walk.
Don't start! - Oh, I'm starting?
Have you ever seen me start?
What are you talking about?
Oh, please.
It goes like this.
So darling.
Oh my God, you look fabulous.
What's this, you have pimples...
You always say something like that.
It wasn't about pimples.
It was about facts. I said to you, -
you look fabulous, but your eyebrows are bushy.
Your eyebrows were fucking lion-queen bushy.
Like this, you know.
You need to be snatched to capacity.
It's just the way it is, darling, honey.
Shade is training, bitch.
But that's life, darling.
Oh my God, these curls! -Is it good or bad?
There are no straight ones left? - No...
Let's try to find some other colour.
Kelet's brave. Kelet's beautiful.
Kelet's patient. Kelet's smart.
Okay.
Does this look all right? - You look gorgeous.
Kelet! Kelet!
Love belongs to everybody!
I was thirteen when I attended my first Pride parade.
My dearest memory is marching together with my brother.
It was the moment when we were like -
'Are we walking in front of all these people?'
I miss my siblings, especially my brother Max.
When the family thing happened, it was him who consoled me -
and got me back on my feet.
I felt I didn't belong anywhere. I was all by myself in the world.
Pride is also my celebration. I have created my own space.
I used to watch this video -
when I was preparing for Vogue balls.
Her walk is so well composed.
There's something very captivating about her walk.
She's just so wonderful.
This is Tiina from the employment agency. - Hi.
Are you available for shifts this week?
My week's all empty.
Except tomorrow and on Thursday I'm busy.
So, you can't come tomorrow and on Thursday.
And you'll have the shift on Wednesday.
There are more shifts available for next weekend.
So you can reserve your shifts online
if you're available.
Okay. I will. - Thank you. Bye!
At some point, I'd like to study more.
I could continue studying biology.
I didn't quit it because I didn't like it.
It was just... I was nineteen, I had just left home.
I had no money, no savings. I was all alone.
Even if I had a job, -
that wasn't enough.
They paid me like 5 euros per hour.
I haven't heard yet from the agencies.
They never say anything. No idea, what they are thinking.
I'll ask her right away. 'Hi, any news?'
It's very frustrating to just wait and wait -
for months on end.
Sometimes I just don't have the energy for this.
I went to job interviews.
I wasn't trying to hide myself. It went all right.
But then they asked for my ID.
And they saw it said male. The atmosphere changed right away.
The interview stopped at once. I didn't get the job.
Is this just a waste of time and energy?
They always have those nice pink backdrops. - Yeah.
At first, I thought she wanted to take similar photos with me.
Straight hair and everything. - Okay. But are you comfortable?
Yeah. With the black top. - Girl, that's you soon.
Imagine that.
Lovely studio!
When we got your message -
Lola and I were all excited.
Oh my god.
She wants you to be glass.
I'm turning into... a doll.
Put your hand like... That's perfect.
And turn your face a bit... That's it.
It would be a lie to say -
I've always loved the colour of my skin.
I don't like myself in pictures.
People ask me, why do you want to be a model -
if you don't like to look at yourself in pictures.
I was in contact about changing my name.
That will cost you 25 euros.
Why exactly do you want this particular first name?
This is not a registered name in Finland.
That's why we need additional information.
Okay.
Is the name common in the country where you have family ties?
What does your name mean in Finnish?
Well, mine's not a common name...
I'll just make something up.
'Kelet is a Somali name that means'
What could it be?
Well, it's unique, to say the least.
I've never met anyone called Kelet.
The process is now underway. - Excuse me?
The process is now underway. - All right.
You'll let me know then. - Yes.
I can't even remember what they look like.
I've changed so much. That's obvious.
Please have your boarding card
and open passport ready for inspection.
Say hello to my brother.
It's weird to see each other after three years, -
and to see where we are now.
I'm so happy you're here now.
Honestly.
We've literally switched roles.
Why couldn't I just get the coochie?
What was I saying?
Then we both came out -
and we just got so much closer, didn't we?
I came out to you. And you were like 'Oh my goodness', -
this whole fucking family is full of queers.
And I was like 'what'? 'What do you mean?'
Normally you have a gay sister or a brother.
But when one is trans and the other is also trans...
That's quite ... random.
We're going through the same thing.
Because we can talk about this without feeling awkward.
A couple of months from now, we're going to look like...
I just started a month ago. - Really?
Me, eight months.
Three days ago I had my one- month anniversary with hormones.
When I came to Finland, it helped me that I had people -
with whom I could talk. - It makes the difference.
In Bournemouth I was all alone.
Yeah, and even if you're not alone, -
physically you're still alone.
And when I came here, I had you.
And when I needed some space, I could go someplace else.
But I was afraid I would run into someone from my family, -
my mother, my sisters...
I remember, you were a bit... withdrawn.
Your spirits were quite low.
But I can see the difference now and I'm so proud of you now.
And it makes me happy.
You're so tall. - I have to crouch...
This place has been a life saver for me.
When I had self-destructive thoughts -
I would come here. This place comforted me.
Until now, a trend in my life has been that -
things begin fairly well.
I have friends who are with me and who love me.
But after a while, I somehow end up all alone.
I push people away because I don't want them to leave me.
I prefer to keep others at a distance.
To keep me from getting hurt.
My father said that he wants to meet me.
I'll go see him today.
He'll probably expect a different kind of shirt.
Because he told me to put on a button shirt.
These are the only type of shirts that I have.
He said don't wear a dress.
And I said of course, no problem,
I'm sure leggings will be ok?
Yeah of course.
Honey, we gotta start somewhere.
We got to start somewhere.
As he said yesterday -
sometimes you just have to force yourself into situations -
and start talking.
This is not too over the top.
Fabulous glam.
This is a humble outfit.
We'll see how this is going to turn out.
I'll see my siblings again. With them everything is fine.
But when it comes to my dad, I think he just needs time.
He needs to accept all this.
He needs to face the truth.
Everyone is suffering and missing each other.
Anyway, I don't want to get my hopes up too much.
I'll just be disappointed.
When my dad finally arrived, we looked each other in the eye.
There was a mutual understanding,
like 'it's been a while'...
I had make-up and I was wearing the clothes.
He noticed them. But he didn't say anything.
Then we had lunch.
And even if it was only a chicken burger, -
the fact that he paid for it -
it felt like he was welcoming me back.
Yeah, Kelet.
You look so happy! - Do I?
It went well. He just called me two hours ago.
He said to me...
He said he wishes me a safe trip back.
I hope everything goes well.
Imagine...
As I've said before, he just has to get used to the idea -
that you are what you are.
It might take a year or two.
With time he'll understand that this is who you are.
And the love will follow.
I'm happy for you. You went and met your parents.
I haven't even seen my parents in a long time.
I'm so happy that you met them!
You went to the same places where you were hopeless before.
Now you have some responses and you can continue your life.
Now the things are falling into place.
I think they're starting to fall into place.
Do you remember when two years ago -
you called me from Manchester -
and you were crying.
You were feeling desperate.
You said, 'Lola, I don't know what to do.'
'I'm in a bad place. I'm homeless.'
'How did my life turn out to be like this?'
Two different girls, two different girls.
I have to admit, two days without you was fine, -
but now I really need you, bitch.
Me too, I've been like -
where's Lola?
I need that bitch.
I need her.
You've become my baby little girl,
I love... - Oh my god.
Well sometimes we need a break but sometimes,
some days I feel like...
Sometimes we need some distance.
But I think we've been sewn together.
Two weeks without you is too long!
But don't forget us when you are rich.
Like you'd leave me alone!
- Girl... - Okay, I love you so much.
I love you too.
This is really happening.
I got my first gig as a runway model at Helsinki Fashion Week.
Kelet? Are you Kelet? Sorry for my Finnish.
How are you today? I'm really good, thank you.
So, if you could try on your first look.
Your first look is basically just a dress.
So this is a little bit see-through, -
are you ok to show your nipples? - No.
Otherwise, do you have underwear?
Yeah, is that ok? - Yeah that's fine!
Don't do this.
May I ask, what is that? I've never used anything red.
It's just a blusher. It brightens up your face.
It gives some colour and adds a bit of dimension.
Autumn brought me a longing heart, -
a wonderful feeling of joy.
My girl, I gave you the most beautiful roses -
as a memory of our love.
But I didn't know that even the flowers of love -
disappear underneath the ice -
when autumn freezes the ground.
I can only watch in tears.
I'm so nervous.
We've spread the information around.
We told it to the best gossipers in town.
Kelet, that's mine!
You already have too much.
Okay. See you soon.
I have to sort these out.
This is starting to look OK.
I love you, I love you, I love you.
- I love you. - I love you.
- Alright. - Let's do it.
They are like the fiercest, the sexiest, the coolest...
House of Miss Rocky...
I am the face queen of Finland, honey.
Hey beautiful.
My chosen family makes my world feel different, -
like my voice matters.
Be whatever you want to be, honey.
Shade is training bitch.
I am the face queen of Finland, honey.