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Kaatskill Kannibals!
Huguenot Horror!
Shawangunk Bloody Shawangunk!
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Off with their heads.
[INAUDIBLE] I saw that once.
You're that geezer.
What's your name?
Jesse.
Oh, hello.
They call me Lefevre.
Nice to meet you.
You're playing tonight?
Yeah.
Excellent.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
(SINGING) One, two, three, four!
Huguenot Hell on the Shawangunk Ridge.
Eat the Indians and kill their kids!
Eating bloody guts and gore!
Hi.
What'll it be?
Well what do you recommend?
Dixon's, that's what she's having.
(SINGING) What you gonna eat?
Gonna eat that human meat!
What you gonna eat?
Gonna eat that Kannibal meat!
You enjoy a hard Dixon cider?
Yes.
You do?
I like it.
It's a local specialty.
Oh, what do you do with yourself?
I'm a prep chef.
And you grind your own sausage?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, I'm a vegan.
(SINGING) Kannibal knocking at my door.
They came from under the floor!
Eating bloody guts and gore!
I got this letter today.
It really freaked me out.
You know what?
Seeing this letter, oh, it's so weird.
I thought this was over.
Here have a look at that.
Just very brief.
Remember I told you I don't speak to my father.
I haven't seen anyone in my family for the last 35 years.
And the reason for that is that there's a history in my family
that's a little bit odd.
Wow that is some seal.
That's right.
Real fancy, huh?
It is with both great pleasure and great regret--
You see?
--that I am writing you, you are the sole remaining descendant
of the Lefevre family--
Levefre!
--with the recent passing of your great uncle
Lucien [INAUDIBLE].
Let me tell you about my great, great, great uncle Lucien
The one requirement is that it must be continuously occupied.
Hey, this is great news!
All right.
So basically I have inherited a castle
from Lucien Lefevre I wonder if it's a mess,
and I have to spend all this money to keep it up.
And then you just sell it.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
So my girlfriend Jezebel and I, along with another couple
Rod and Anatolia, took a trip to go and take
possession of my castle.
Rod, who was the Joker of the group, was always disappearing.
Anatolia was young, beautiful, loose, and apparently opened
for anything.
Her trust fund money kept as well
supplied in our deviant, pleasurable habits.
We were all looking forward to a debauched weekend
of drunkenness, orgy, and carnal pleasure.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
This is my castle.
[INAUDIBLE]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
I think I might be the new owner of this castle.
My name's Bruyn Lefevre I've been
told to present a letter to somebody called Rollo.
Yes, I am he.
You must be the new master.
Come in.
You!
I told you never to get in here.
Get out!
Wow.
Look at those pictures.
This is Hugo van Buren, Eve of the Great Flood.
I saw the eyes move in that painting.
No.
Yeah.
Look at This room.
And this is your ancestry Lucien Lefevre
Do you know of Lucien Levefre?
No.
I don't know about Lucien Lefevre
Let me tell you about his history--
cannibalism!
[INAUDIBLE]
Cannibalism!
[GROWLING]
[SCREAMING]
[THUNDER]
Let me tell you about your ancestors.
[EVIL LAUGHTER]
The Huguenots, a radical Puritan sect,
had been evicted from France and forced to flee to false Germany
by Louis Coutures.
Their weird incestuous rights and rabid anti-cataclysm
made them thick, too, and willing to live
amongst their Catholic neighbors.
Not happy in Germany, they traveled across the ocean
to the New World, to the Dutch colony of New Netherlands.
Disgusted by the Dutch, the Huguenots
flee Kingston to be free of the Dutch settlers
with their strange, guttural language, eternal drunkenness,
and orgiastic libertinism.
In the winter of 1664, they head out from Kingston
and flee south to make their own state
and build their own settlement.
Praise the Lord.
Let's go onward.
Come on.
Keep up.
We're almost there.
How far?
The Huguenots who ended up in near present day New
Paltz, New York, in the winter of 1664, were in dire straits.
Food!
Need some food.
Go out there.
The cauldron is empty.
Get us more food!
Women, get away!
Women!
Go get us meat!
The Huguenots meager supply of flour and grain had run out.
There is no food.
Look around you.
There's nothing.
There's no flour!
There's no fromage!
We're dead.
We have to have faith.
Where is your God now?
Where is your God?
Where is your God now?
No more!
The kindly Asopus Indians brought them
gifts of food, which the Huguenots reject
as unfit for human consumption.
Savage!
There's a savage!
What boy?
There's a savage!
What?
Speak up!
There's a savage!
[GRUNTING]
Oh, no.
This food is rotten!
What is this?
Look at this!
This is an insult!
What's this?
Oh, man.
Man!
It's rotten!
Man!
Who would do such a thing?
Man to man, you can not eat that.
That's an insult. Who would do such a thing?
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
This isn't food!
It's rotten!
I will not stand for this.
Man!
We'll not stand for this!
What's the matter?
[INAUDIBLE]
Driven mad with hunger and believing
that their God had abandoned them,
they decided to eat the Indians.
We are going to find those devils,
and we're going to get our food.
Oh, yes.
It's too diabolical.
No, it's not.
They're devils!
Hungry!
The heathens!
We are going to get our food.
You stay here with your God, but we are getting our food!
It's a sin!
Enough with your sin!
Hungry!
We are hungry!
Hungry!
And we are going to die out here!
Hungry, hungry, hungry!
The Lord will provide.
No, we will provide.
No!
Lucian, come with me, and we will provide.
Yes!
You stay here with the women.
The Lord will provide!
The Lord Will provide!
What they did next is unthinkable
and shatters the mind.
[GRUNTING]
Food!
Where's your God?
Where's your God now?
[RABID GRUNTING]
Where's your God?
Where's your God now?
They feasted on human flesh that first night and for many nights
after.
Ancient taboos had collapsed.
They found that they had acquired a craving need
for human flesh at all costs!
[MUSIC PLAYING]
By October 8, 1678, the Huguenots
bargained for New Paltz from the remaining Asopus Indians.
They established the well-to-do village of New Paltz
as a public front for the nefarious,
cannibalistic rights.
By day, many hold important political and banking jobs
in the community.
They secretly hide the worst of their kind
in the woods, along with Shwange Bridge,
in caves, dense woodlands, and shacks.
They capture any travelers on the lonely mountain
roads at night and devour them without pity.
The Huguenots' insatiable, satanic lust for human flesh
sends them on a 300 year murderous rampage of blood.
[SCREAMING]
It's a good day for feasting.
God has provided for us.
Masquerading behind a facade of reformed Christian benevolence
and pacifism, they feed their carnal desires
on the nearby Native Indian tribes and unsuspecting,
passing travelers.
Dozens disappeared almost without a trace
during those early years.
Only strangely-pickled human limbs, occasional pocket
watches, and remnants of clothing
begin to build a morbid case against their satanic rites
of hunger.
[SCREAMING]
Generations of continual incestuous inbreeding
make them all appear to look alike
and lowers their mentality to that of just above animal.
[SCREAMING]
Animals!
[EVIL LAUGHTER]
When your Huguenot ancestors were first caught,
they were burned at the stake by the British.
[EVIL LAUGHTER]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[GUNFIRE]
[BAGPIPES PLAYING]
[ANIMALISTIC GRUNTING]
Hurry, men!
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Troopers!
This way!
They came through here!
Fast march!
Hurry, hurry!
[ANIMALISTIC GRUNTING]
Whoa!
Don't shoot!
Where is your God now?
We've been caught!
They found us out!
On the ground!
Over there!
Hands behind your back!
Don't shoot!
We are innocent men.
We're just hungry.
Rotted limbs in front of you then?
They aren't ours!
What were we to do, die?
Rather than murder somebody and eat them?
Yes!
They were already dead when we found them!
Lies!
No, true.
It's true!
True!
We have a witness.
Show us your witness then!
I saw them eat the humans.
Who, Webster?
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
We didn't eat Webster Smith!
He ate them!
He ate them with us!
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
[DRUM BEATING]
[SHOUTING]
We'll get you!
When I get out of here, I'm going to get you!
I'm going to eat you and your family!
A curse!
A curse upon you all!
May you all be cursed forever!
Cannibals!
Your sentence is hereforth read.
By order of his majesty, Charles II, and the high court
of justice and judging of Kingston,
you are called this 29th of July, anno domini 1674.
Whereas the so-called Hugeunot cannibals of Shongak stand,
if convicted and condemned of eating
human flesh and sundry other heinous crimes against God
and nurture, such as infanticide, rape, murder,
sodomy, fornicating with animals,
and worship of dark forces and spirits,
is sentenced, upon sentencing last pronounced against them
by the King's court to be put to death by burning at the stake!
These and to whereso for require you to see the said sentence
executed in the open field before John Gombrich
by the morning of the 29th day of this instant month of July,
between the hours of 10:00 in the morning
and 5:00 in the afternoon of the same day with full effect.
And for doing this shall be your sufficient warrant.
And these require all officers, and soldiers,
and the other good people of this nation of England
and their colonies to be assisting
unto you the service given under our hands and sealed.
You lie!
His majesty, Charles II.
You have no authority!
[SHOUTING]
Where's your God?
Where is your God now?
We are done, done forever!
We're going to Hell!
We're done!
You can't take us!
You will be judged next.
You can't judge us!
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Free me!
Free me now!
I'll see you in Hell!
I'll see you all in Hell!
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
You sentence us based on lies!
We've done nothing!
We are innocent!
Free me!
I'll see you in Hell!
[DRUM ROLL]
I'll see you all in Hell!
You sentence us based on lies!
Free me!
I don't want to die!
[DRUM ROLL]
God save the queen!
[SHOUTING]
[DRUM ROLL INTENSIFYING]
Goodbye, Webster.
The creaturous bastard.
Dirty whore.
[WOOD CRACKLING]
[EVIL LAUGHTER]
[THUNDER]
After the American Revolution, they
were caught and guillotined.
[EVIL LAUGHTER]
Move it, scum!
You brought evil to my household!
Go meet your fate!
You ate our children!
You got your hole, scum!
You ate our children!
Die!
Die, you inbred, heathen bastards!
Shut up!
Kill them!
Kill the inbred scum!
I'm eat them all again, too!
Move it, cannibals.
Go and meet your fate!
Death to you!
You are condemned!
Sit down and meet your fate!
[EVIL LAUGHTER]
Cannibals!
Off with their heads!
Yay!
[CHEERING]
Death to the cannibal.
Death to the bastard cannibal, the inbred, human scum.
Death to the cannibals!
Viva la revolution!
Death to cannibals!
Death to the cannibals!
[THUNDER]
And then during the Civil War, your ancestors
were slaughtered like pigs and hunted like dogs!
Animals!
Dogs!
Pigs!
Animals!
Like animals, slaughtered!
[EVIL LAUGHTER]
[BAGPIPES PLAYING]
[GRUNTING]
[LAUGHTER]
[BLOWING INTO BAGPIPES]
[GRUNTING]
[DRUM ROLL]
1, 2.
1, 2, 1, 2, 1.
OK.
Now we know each demand.
Unless they storm this line--
You stand fast.
You guys should be spread out.
Form your skirmish line.
Just go ahead.
Break it up.
Arms forward.
Forward march.
Slow, man.
I see those guys, down there.
Who the hell are they?
Jesus Christ.
Who they are?
I don't know what they're doing, but it doesn't look Christian.
What unholy thing are they doing?
I see an axe.
Company, halt.
Think they're Johnnies?
All right, gentlemen.
Maybe we can get them to scatter.
Ready!
Aim!
Fire!
[GUNFIRE]
Oh!
Quickly, boys!
Quickly!
Guys, get your hands up!
Put them up!
I don't miss!
I think they got a deer or something.
Sergeant, let them have it?
Fire another round.
Get back!
Fire!
[SCREAMING]
Run ahead!
Ready!
Fire!
[GUNFIRE]
Load, reload!
It looks like he's down.
Big boy.
Oh, my God.
We're dealing with something beyond this world, here.
Ungodly here.
Oh.
Yeah, run them through.
[GRUNTING]
They ate a body!
[GRUNTING]
You do that?
All right.
Say your prayers there, sucker.
This is the devil's work.
I swear, boys.
We are in the wrong place.
[THUNDER]
I don't mean to frighten you, but now, this castle
is all yours.
So enjoy!
Enjoy!
[EVIL LAUGHTER]
I'm a little hungry.
I'm sure there's something in the kitchen.
Anyway, we'd like to sort of have
a couple of minutes to unpack, freshen up,
if that's OK with you.
I'll leave you two alone.
We'll call.
What was your name again if we need anything?
Rollo!
Rollo?
Rollo.
Bye, Rollo.
Thank you very much.
Very strange.
Anyway, I'm sure we can find something to eat downstairs.
And then--
I saw the eyes move in that painting.
No!
Yeah.
No, those eyes definitely aren't moving.
[CHUCKLING]
Maybe there's a view from here.
Oh, I'm sure there is.
[GASPING]
Looks like we're trapped.
Rollo!
[THUNDER]
[EVIL LAUGHTER]
I'm a little worried about this.
It seems a little, I don't know, creepy?
Place is beautiful, though, right?
Oh well.
You know what?
You own it now.
You can make a few changes.
You ain't kidding.
Maybe you should get rid of that guy?
What, Pollo?
Yeah.
Absolutely.
Rollo.
Gosh, he's a freak, isn't he?
He's creepy.
What about that guy that was in here when we came in?
And what was he eating?
Was he the gardener?
What was he eating?
Oh, I think it was--
you know.
It was like-- it wasn't a sandwich, was it?
But it was-- I don't know.
It's just a dog bone.
You know, you might be right about that picture.
No.
Roland?
Yeah.
There's a little girl in the room!
What?
[SCREAMING]
[EVIL LAUGHTER]
That's good!
[SCREAMING]
How do you like your castle now?
[EVIL LAUGHTER]
[ANIMALISTIC GRUNTING]
What time is it?
Time to eat!
[ANIMALISTIC GRUNTING]
Brad?
[FAINT EVIL LAUGHTER]
Brad, where are you?
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Brad!
Help!
Brad, hurry!
Help me!
Brad!
Where are you?
Help me!
Help, help!
Help me!
Brad!
[BELL RINGING]
Help!
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[SCREAMING]
Brad!
[SCREAMING]
[EVIL LAUGHTER]
[SLASHING NOISES]
[EVIL LAUGHTER]
[CHUCKLING]
I think I hear a river.
Isn't that exciting?
We could take a walk by the river, maybe skinny dip.
I think I'm going to look for it.
It's so cool and beautiful.
[BUZZING]
[RUNNING WATER]
[CHUCKLING]
Oh, yeah.
I'm fine.
[INAUDIBLE]
[ANIMALISTIC GRUNTING]
Meat!
Get that ginger!
[SCREAMING]
Oh, my God!
Eat her!
[ANIMALISTIC GRUNTING]
[SCREAMING]
Eat her!
[ANIMALISTIC GRUNTING]
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
(SINGING) Come on, the boys.
And we'll all sing along.
It's the Katskill Kannibal's death song.
Come on, the boys, and we'll all sing along.
It's the Katskill Kannibal's death song.
The humans and the ocean [INAUDIBLE]..
They ate their fellow man.
[INAUDIBLE] that got the bright idea,
singing where is your God.
Where is your God now?
2, 3, 4, come on, the boys, and we'll all sing along!
It's the Katskill Kannibal's death song.
Come on, the boys, and we'll all sing along.
It's the Katskill Kannibal's death song.
They run down valley [INAUDIBLE] and kick them out of control.
They fled through the snow [INAUDIBLE]..
(SINGING) The bells all ring and [INAUDIBLE]..
With sweet tones and [INAUDIBLE]..
[BELL RINGING]
Father Peter, come quick!
The demon's back!
She's back again.
[WHIP SOUND]
Follow me.
I know what to do.
(SINGING) Ave Maria.
An angel of mercy [INAUDIBLE].
You see?
I told you.
[SCREAMING]
It's just like she was.
Do not send me back to Hell!
Don't send me back to Hell!
Oh, my God.
It's freezing in here.
Yeah, I know.
I'm shivering.
I'll need my things from the car.
[INAUDIBLE]
We drive you from us, whomever you may be.
Unclean spirits, satanic powers, infernal invaders,
wicked legions, assemblies and sects, in the name
and by the virtue of our Lord Jesus Christ,
may you be snatched away and driven from the Church of God
and from the souls redeemed by the precious blood
of the divine Lamb.
Cease your audacity, you cunning serpent,
to delude the human race, to persecute the church,
to torment God's elect, and to sift them as wheat.
This is the command made to you by the most high God,
with whom, in your great insolence,
you still pretend to be equal.
That God will have all men be saved and come to him
in the knowledge of the truth.
God the Holy Ghost commands you.
God the Son commands you.
God the Holy Ghost commands you.
Christ commands you, the eternal Word of God made flesh.
He, to see our grace outdone through your malice,
humbled himself, becoming obedient, even unto death.
He who was built his church on a firm rock
and declared the gates of Hell shall not prevail against her,
because he dwells with her all days,
even to the end of the world.
God the Father commands you.
Christ commands you.
[BURNING NOISE]
Christ commands you.
[SCREAMING]
Christ commands you.
[ANIMALISTIC GRUNTING]
Ah, that exorcism really took it out of me.
Thank God for this nice walk.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
What heinous evil is this?
This is the work of the evil one.
I must call for help.
[PHONE RINGING]
Hello?
Yes.
Father Kevin?
Father Peter, it's been a long time.
It has.
We have a situation.
I need your help.
You still have the 38?
Of course, I do.
Good.
Bring in the dynamite.
We'll need Father Patrick, as well.
Meet me at St. Benedict's immediately.
OK, we'll meet you at St. Benedict's.
[ANIMALISTIC GRUNTING]
[MOTORS ROARING]
Yo, Deke.
Yeah, what happened Clyde?
I'm done with this orchard, man.
When are we going to get out of here?
I don't know.
I just feel something.
I can't go much farther.
My leg's killing me, man.
I feel strange.
[INAUDIBLE]
Hold, I see something over here.
My grandpa's going to wonder what happened to me.
Oh, man.
Hey, we got a road here.
You all right?
I can't make it too much farther.
All right.
Here, we've got a road here.
Go ahead now.
Take your time.
I'm going to have to take a rest.
Yeah.
Yo, Deke.
You remember that time we went to that joint,
and there was those two girls?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
And that one, she thought you were the man.
Yeah, kind of expensive for our taste.
Yeah.
Cannibals!
[MOTORS ROARING]
I see a bridge over there.
A bridge?
Yeah.
Let's try to make it to the bridge.
Maybe we can rest for a little bit.
The sun is killing my eyes.
Yeah, all right.
You've got anything?
You got sunglasses or anything?
I got goggles here.
Goggles?
What the hell are those?
Yeah, I had them.
I had them, man.
They're cool.
All right.
That's much better.
All right, you good, Clyde?
All right.
Yo, D?
What the hell is that?
What the hell?
Oh, shoot.
Man, this is messed up over here, man.
Those bikers!
Those bikers, man.
Whoa, man.
We got the bridge.
We're good.
[ANIMALISTIC GRUNTING]
Yo, D. We ain't getting out of here alive.
I don't know, man.
That's some bull!
I ain't going down.
[ANIMALISTIC GRUNTING]
[GUNFIRE]
[GUN CLICKING]
I'm jumping!
I'm going to jump!
You're crazy!
[CRUSHING]
[ANIMALISTIC GRUNTING]
Cannibalism!
[CHUCKLING]
Oh!
Treat!
[GRUNTING]
[MOTORS ROARING]
[EVIL LAUGHTER]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
(SINGING) Come on, the boys.
And we'll all sing along.
It's the Katskill Kannibal's death song.
Come on, the boys.
And we'll all sing along.
It's the Katskill Kannibal's death song.
The Huguenots found the ocean and landed in New Paltz.
One freezing winter, they ate their fellow man.
Twas Lucien Lefevre that got the bright idea,
saying where is your God.
Where is your God now?
2, 3, 4, come on, the boys.
And we'll all sing along.
It's the Katskill Kannibal's death song!
Come on, the boys.
And we'll all sing along.
It's the Katskill Kannibal's death song.
They've run down valley [INAUDIBLE] kick them out
of control.
They fled through the smoke to [INAUDIBLE]..
2, 3, come on, the boys.
And we'll all sing along.
It's the Katskill Kannibal's death song.
Come on, the boys.
And we'll all sing along.
It's the Katskill Kannibal's death song.
October 8, 1678, the Huguenots ate the Indians.
Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.
[CHANTING]
Where is your God?
Where is your God now?
[CHANTING]
Die, you pig fucker!
[SPRAYING]
[GUNFIRE]
[SCREAMING]
Sodomize this!
[GUNFIRE]
[ANIMALISTIC GRUNTING]
[GUNFIRE]
[CHANTING]
[GUNFIRE]
[CHAINSAW MOTOR]
[GUNFIRE]
[GRUNTING]
[GUNFIRE]
[ANIMALISTIC GRUNTING]
Burn them.
[ANIMALISTIC GRUNTING]
Here's your God.
Here's your God now.
[EXPLOSION]
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
(SINGING) [INAUDIBLE] on this southern rage.
We've got Indians in a cage.
Death to those cannibals in the hill,
eating people for the thrill.
What you going to eat?
Going to eat that human meat!
What you going to eat?
Going to eat that cannibal meat!
American Civil War, the cannibals knock knock
on my door!
They came from under the floor, eating bodies guts and gore.
What you going to eat?
Going to eat!
After you, dear.
[HUMMING] Where is everybody?
Hello?
[SCREAMING]
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
(SINGING) [INAUDIBLE] on this southern rage.
We got Indians in a cage.
Get those cannibals in the hill, eating people for the thrill.
What you going to eat?
Going to eat that human meat!
What you going to eat?
Going to eat that cannibal meat!
American Civil War, cannibals knock knock on my door!
They came from under the floor, eating bodies, eating body guts
and gore.
What you going to eat?
Going to eat that human meat!
What you going to eat?
Going to eat that cannibal meat!
Now, today, you've got a brand new plan!
Going to eat the--
[EXPLOSION]