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Good morning, Ulysses!
- Good morning, Mom.
Time to get up, sleepy head!
It's another bright day in Greatland.
The birthplace of love.
- And endless source of fun.
- Tuna sandwich!
Yes! Yes!
Thank you, Mom!
Anything for my baby!
Happy birthday, Ulysses! I'm so proud of you!
I still remember the day I gave you birth
and immortality, my non binary bundle of joy!
Today is a very special day.
You're fifteen now. So.
- Oh no!
Not the Dark Temple Ceremony!
Ulysses! Every Great must complete the Ceremony
on his fifteen's birthday!
Where are you going, young man?
How many times have I told you
not to leave food on the table?!
- It's my birthday. I do what I want!
Ladies, gentlemen,
gender fluids, and diverse living organisms!
My fellow Greats!
We are bringing you the latest
from the race to the Greatland's Sweetheart Position!
Two candidates.
Jorg Doberman and Cat Purry.
Have been going head to head
soliciting your Tokens of Love.
Today Jörg Doberman and Cat Purry
wish a Happy Dark Temple Ceremony
to Ulysses and many other great boys across Greatland!
Woof or Felinist, cast your Tokens of Love
and make your candidate win!
Cat Purry will build on her career long effort
to advance the Proud Felinist Revolution
and modernize the S.L.A.V.E Sanctuary to ensure that
it meets the highest standards of love and care.
Here is what Jörg Doberman promises
to do if he's elected.
- Hey Jolly!
Patrick, what's up!
- Hi.
We're fine I guess.
Aren't we, love?
- Bro, you shouldn't look like a total delight!
- Jolly and I didn't get much sleep last night.
It cried non-stop.
Man, I don't know if I am cut out for it.
Being a father sucks!
- Listen, Patrick,
you're my half brother,
I don't want to be mean or anything,
but why is your baby so
diverse?
Patrick's father was a Diverse Great.
Ulysses, you should be ashamed of yourself for asking
such insensitive questions!
And you, Patrick!
Why isn't the portrait of your father displayed prominently
in your household?
- Wait!
How come Patrick gets to know who his Dad was and I don't?
- Shush, you two are gonna make the baby start crying again!
Ulysses, you're late for your daily dose
of crazy fun!
- You see! It's always the same loving thing!
I ask you a question and you never ever answer me!
- Jolly! Jolly! He's crying again!
You really need to leave!
Jörg Doberman!
Cat Purry!
Jörg Doberman!
- Let's go champ!
I'm Jörg Doberman!
New Dawn for Greatland!
- I'm Cat Purry
and you're voting for Doberman?! Ew!
How dare you!
Born Great! Born Immortal!
Hail Mother! And glory to Greatland!
My fellow Greats,
who wants to live forever?
- Everybody. Duh!
Now tell me,
who deprived, robbed,
viciously and cowardly cheated the Greats
out of our hard-earned immortality?
- Evil Nation! Evil Nation!
- Evil Nation! Boo!
- Evil Nation! Evil Nation! Boo! Down
with Evils!
Evil! Oh yeah!
Now, I don't wanna die
but my days are numbered!
Soon, very soon,
the Virus will begin its heinous work inside my body.
My hair will fall out,
my skin will wrinkle and I will collapse!
And so will you!
Oh no! No! We don't deserve it!
- It's unbearable! It's unfathomable!
It's unbearable! It's unfathomable!
- Unbearable! Unfathomable!
- We don't deserve! I don't deserve it!
None of you deserve it!
What is to become of us?!
- What's the loving news?
I'll be right there with you, Mr. Lee!
- Rejoice my fellow Greats!
Our salvation is near.
The Altruists are always coming one step closer
to finding a cure for the Virus.
- Oh! Yes! Cure!
- The Evil Nation will never triumph over us!
Because they are all hate,
and we are all love.
Support the Altruists.
Give freely of your Love Tokens to help fund research
to find a cure for the Virus.
- Yes!
- Your Tokens!
By love, we live forever!
- By love, we live forever!
- Thank you, thank you my beloved fellow Greats!
I will make sure that these Tokens of Love go directly
to Altruists to fund their anti-Virus research!
- Amazing Love Store, Stone Age tools and more!
- Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Lee!
I didn't mean to spook you!
But the Altruists are this close
to finding cure for the Virus.
So can I please have my Tokens of Love?
- Get away from me! What's this?!
- Relax! It's "a birthday cake"!
I baked it for you.
Quick, Ulysses! Make a wish and blow out the candles!
Ulysses! Don't you dare partake
in these Stone Age rituals!
This cake is made of plants and animals.
They are citizens of Greatland just like you.
Why do you want to hurt your fellow Greats?
Do you want to end up like Mr. Lee, invisible and mute?
- No!
- Don't argue with Mother, Ulysses.
Our hearts beat for Greatland.
Let's make them beat as one with Mother's.
I'm going to throw the cake away.
Good girl!
Ulysses, are you listening?
- Yes, Mother.
- Then tell me why the Optimists made Mr. Lee invisible
and mute?
Ulysses! All Greats stand for tolerance,
diversity and inclusiveness.
But Mr. Lee chose a different path.
What taboo did Mr. Lee break?
How far back into Stone Age did he regress?
- Mr. Lee invaded and contaminated the most sacred part
of a woman a long time ago.
The end.
And what happened to this woman?
Yes, you can!
Yes you can!
Tell me, Ulysses. I want to hear you say it.
- Contamination by Mr. Lee caused the woman
to suffer vomiting, bleeding and eventual collapse
from unbearable pain during child rearing.
Because of inbreeding,
Mr. Lee's daughter was born so ugly
that she was named "Ugly Duck".
There, I said it.
Now leave me alone.
I'm sorry, she went on and on.
- She just doesn't let go, does she?
- Happy birthday, Ulysses! Dad and I got you a gift.
Open it! Tear the paper!
- A book?! Are you out of your mind?
You want me to end up on Repentance Island?
- But you love stories!
We'll just read it here, in secret like we always do.
Remember how much fun we had with Shakespeare
and Charles Perrault?
- Yeah, not really. I just pretended.
Otherwise Mr. Lee wouldn't have given me my Tokens of Love.
Look, can we just paint my nails blue like we did last year?
- Open it.
- No way!
"Just open
the damn book"
"Ody-s-sey by
Ho-mer.
To my son Ulysses,
on his 15th birthday.
Wishing you to be better than me."
My father's name was Homer?
- No, stupid! Homer wrote the book.
- Then who wrote this?
"Your father, he gave this book to me."
You knew my father all these years!
Why didn't you tell me?!
"Your father made me promise."
Where is he?
What's his name?
Ulysses! You are scheduled
for the Dark Temple Ceremony today.
- I hate you!
I hate everything!
- Dad!
- Where are you, Mr. Lee?
Show yourself!
- Dad?! Dad!
Dad! Dad!
Stop it you two!
I've got the Virus!
Ulysses, the countdown
to your Dark Temple Ceremony has been initiated.
- Well, hello gorgeous! You're late.
Let me give you a "quicky."
By love,
we live forever.
And love is what binds you and all our Greats to our Mother.
It's what makes us all brothers and sisters.
Mother provides food, houses and Optimism.
Today is the day that you will give back to our Mother.
Life Force will unite you
and Mother together forever and forever.
Now, this is where your Life Force should go.
The Angels will now perform for you in the Worshiping Hall.
Watch their every move,
and Life Force will manifest itself.
- Gotcha! Thanks!
- Is she collapsing?
"She'll be okay.
This didn't happen.
Don't tell anybody."
Don't worry Mr. Lee.
I won't tell anyone.
- Hey there handsome!
You've got something for me?
Where is your Life Force, airhead?
- What does it look like?
- Look you're so cute!
It's a white sticky substance, sort of like boogers.
- OK, gotcha!
- There! All yours!
- We're not done yet, love.
Give me your pink one.
Ancient scriptures!
Do you know what these mean?
I wish I could decipher ancient language.
But oh well! That's what makes us Greats great.
Congratulations, you've completed your Dark Temple Ceremony!
Happy Adulthood!
Your bundle of joy will be issued to you shortly.
Congratulations, Ulysses!
I'm looking forward to bringing your offspring
into the world and parenting it jointly with you.
- Thank you Ma'am.
- Dad! Dad!
- What are you doing?
Leave them alone!
- No! No! Please, let him go!
- Ulysses, let the Optimists do their job.
They are here to liberate Ugly Duck.
- For preventing the empowerment of his daughter,
the generous and loving Greats
have decided to put Mr. Lee out for Resurrection.
- No! - Please! Don't hurt him!
- No! No! Mother, he wanted to report the blood,
I swear. He was just waiting for me to come back!
Mother, please! Please!
- He didn't do anything! Please stop!
No! No, no, no, no, no, please, not the Pulverizer!
Please! Please! Not the Pulverizer.
- Mother, please! Please!
- Activate the Pulverizer!
Ulysses, what happened
to Mr. Lee was an act of love.
- How is pulverizing someone an act of love?
You're too young to understand it.
You need to sleep, Ulysses.
- Ugly Duck?
Ugly Duck?
Where is she?!
Taking her Sensitivity Test as I told you.
But as every man you're not a terrific listener!
- By love, we live forever!
All right, ladies!
- Hey, don't call us that! It's offensive!
- Shut up and be proud of who you are.
- Exactly! Be yourself!
- And today is your lucky day
because Greatland gives you just that!
All Great women can choose
between the Proud Felinist Revolution.
Or the SLAVE Sanctuary.
And SLAVE is short for?
- Support, love, appreciation, victory, empowerment.
- Good!
And this will help you choose your new
and improved Testing Stick!
- "Dear Ulysses, I write to you."
- When that is said, what more is left for me to say?
Now you are free,
I know too well to heap contempt upon my head.
- What's she talking about?
- It's Pushkin, "Tatiana's letter",
remember we read it last winter?
- Oh that one! So inspiring, not.
- I knew it would be just as much poetry as you could take.
But I feel like Tatiana right now.
I sit alone with none to heed or guess what ails.
And now my very reason fails!
I don't wanna be a Felinist or a SLAVE.
I don't wanna take the Sensitivity Test,
but I have to.
If I perform well at the Test,
the Altruists may resurrect my Dad
when they find a cure for the Virus.
I just want you to know that,
on Earth but you my heart adores!
That is ordained by fate, alone.
It's Heaven's will: I am yours.
Ulysses, you are and will always be my Knight
in Shining Armor.
- I tremble to re-read, must end!
Good bye forever,
Ugly Duck, your friend."
- Seriously? Delight, please!
- Kiss me!
- Gross!
- Ah, yes, yes, yes!
- Urgh, love no!
- I have to see Ugly Duck!
- Ulysses, she's not your property!
Your behavior is not worthy of a Great man.
- I don't care! She's going away forever, I have to see her!
Surprise!
It's a boy!
- It's a rabbit.
Come on, don't be shy! Kiss your baby!
I worked hard on this one.
How shall we name him?
It's got to be "Albert"!
Oh, please, please! Pretty please!
- Please tell me you're joking.
Look at him, Ulysses. He's just as cute
and adorable as you are.
I thought you'd be happy.
- He's a rabbit.
My son is a loving rabbit.
Technically, he's also my brother.
I'm so glad you've finally come to you senses!
Take your son in arms, Ulysses.
It's your role now to keep him safe and warm.
Remember, true Greats are inclusive, tolerant and diverse.
We don't stigmatize.
We love everybody and everything: people, animals, plants,
even insects.
We are in love with love.
But most of all, we love Greatland.
- Son of a delight! He bit me!
Welcome to parenthood!
- Well,
a house, a baby to take care of, I'm all set then.
How about a life partner?
Do you have someone special at heart?
- Not really.
I'm going to take Albert to the Priest for the blessing.
- Looks like it's the Felinist Revolution
for the three of you.
- We gonna be sistas!
- I knew it! I felt it!
- I'm gonna rock the love out of the Felinist Revolution!
Yes! Felinists!
- All right, this one's going to be a SLAVE.
Split up and let her go!
It's not like she's caught a Virus or anything.
Oh come on!
Mom, I can't see anything, is she a SLAVE or a Felinist?
- I can't see it! I can't see it!
- Come out already!
- Wait! Don't go!
We still have this one left!
Oh, just came to my mind!
Do you see this nice orphan birch tree down the street?
Isn't she cute?
So far no one had the generosity
to embrace the pretty birch.
A little birdie tells me that this generous soul
might just be you.
Are you OK, my love?
You should go see a healer.
- I'm fine.
I'm Great.
Never been better!
- It never does that.
Hello?
- My, it's really quiet here today!
- Today's Sensitivity Test went so wrong!
But I saved the day.
All the Girls are sorted out and on their way.
- So there was this really ugly girl.
Red hair, blue eyes, you know what happened to her?
- Ah that girl, what a mess!
Her results they went on and on,
and in the end she was sent to Repentance Island.
- Can you bless my son Albert?
- Isn't he precious!
- By love, we live forever!
You've been blessed.
Ah! Son of a delight! He bit me!
Are you OK, my love?
You should go see a healer.
- Mom?
Hello!
Are you there?
Always wanted to do it.
You see, Mom,
Mr. Lee taught me how to talk to appliances.
That heart simulator over there, we built it together.
What do I do now, Mr. Lee?
Hello, world!
- Guide me to Repentance Island.
Action not authorized.
- Where is Repentance Island?
Answer not authorized.
- Authorized by who?
Answer me, Mother-loving appliance!
Oh Ulysses, is this how you repay my love?
How could you break my heart like this?
You hurt me, your Mother who loves
and cares so much about you!
- Shush! Shush! Shush, be quiet!
This device will self-destroy in three, two, one.
- Oh no! No, no! Mom, please!
If you're hearing this message,
you've successfully destroyed your bracelet.
Now run.
The Optimists are on their way.
Do what your namesake in "Odyssey" did, Follow Orion.
Mirror, mirror, on the wall.
- Let the Debate about Greatland's next Sweetheart begin!
- Yeah, you go Jörg!
- You shut your pie hole! Jörg Doberman is a speciest pig!
- He's a dog.
- Now why are you crying?
- To see Cat like this,
she's so caring so inspiring.
- I'm not a cat but I wish I was.
It would be great to be born as one of Cat Purry's kittens.
- And to know the Evil Nation created this Virus.
- So here I am totally not a cat, but a proud member
of the "I am a CAT" gang of totally cool people.
- What about non-people, huh?
Plants, animals? Ever heard of them, spoiled brat?
- Yes, of course, plants and animals rock!
And rocks rule! Wohoo!
- Jörg Doberman on the other hand.
Was accused of raping a two year old coyote!
Why's no one talking about this?
- Innocent until proven guilty.
- Stop fighting, y'all!
Look how far we've come.
There was a time when we had to mate with the opposite sex
in order to procreate.
- Yeah, you go Jörg!
- But not anymore.
We are truly free to love whoever we want!
- Spoken like a true Great!
A true Great!
- This is Malak and I vote Malak as Cat's next mate.
Malak! Malak!
- Malak! Malak! Malak!
- Now put your hands together and remember:
The whole world should serve your needs.
Your opinion is the only one that matters in Greatland!
- Rejoicing in the breeze,
Ulysses sat at the helm he steered.
Watching the Pleiads, and late setting Boötes,
and Orion that never baths in the Ocean.
For this star Calypso had bidden him to keep
on the left hand as he sailed over the sea.
- Ugly Duck!
Come on!
Stop pretending!
Look, I don't have a bracelet, Mother's not listening!
It's not you.
Men are so quick to blame the gods.
They say that we devise their misery.
But they themselves, in their depravity design grief
greater than the griefs that fate assigns.
Yeah, right!
- Amen.
I know you're there.
Come over.
Help me.
- You wanna fight, huh?
You wanna fight?
- And the Gods smile upon us.
- We're bringing you some exciting and disturbing news.
Clashes broke out today between supporters
of Jörg Doberman and Felinists passionarias.
- I am a simple Great.
Cat Purry sets a wrong example for hundreds
of our life partners across Greatland.
Now everybody must be furry and have kittens as babies.
Well, my wife is not furry,
she is leafy.
Where do we fit in Cat Purry's perfect Greatland?
- You anti-felinist, speciest jerk!
Your Jörg Doberman is a tree hatist.
How does it make you feel when your tree is cut?
- Jolly! Jolly! Jolly my love!
- You did it to yourself. - Are you hurt?
You should be ashamed of yourself!
- Oh I've got your baby!
Oops, I dropped it!
Not!
- Please, please, give me my baby back!
- Tree Huggers make me lose weight!
- Felinist Revolution!
It is your time to let it all out!
Free yourself!
- I'm not going for it!
- What? It's my camera!
- Oh well, I suppose the heart wants what it wants.
Sad, sad.
- This is wrong!
How will Altruists find her for Resurrection?
- What do you know of death?
- More than you think!
I've read about it!
In books!
- Wow! You can read! You're badass!
- Well, reading is nothing!
Counting and talking to electronic appliances
is much harder.
- What've you done to your bracelet?
- Why did you do that?
I was just starting to like you!
- What is your name, boy?
- Nobody.
- Where do you think you're going?
You're a fugitive from Optimism.
They catch you, they're going to put you out
for Resurrection.
- Wait a second.
This is my country.
Why should I leave?
You go!
- Are you hungry?
- Now you.
- No! Fish is my fellow Great.
- My God, what did they do to you!
- You've no idea what you're missing.
- If I try it,
will it make me Evil?
- No!
Fish are true Greats.
The fish loves you.
It doesn't want you to suffer hunger.
By eating it, you are helping a fellow Great
become an even greater Great.
- Yuck! Your soda's really foul!
Burns like a bee sting!
- It's whiskey. Bourbon.
Sorry, that's all I have.
- Are you an Evil spy?
What's your mission?
- I'm not Evil. I am a fellow Great.
- Yeah, right!
Your bracelet has gradations and says "Swiss Made."
It's, like, the most Evil thing on Earth!
- It's a watch.
I'm a Clerk.
We are guardians of continuity.
We make sure that Greatland does not disappear
no matter what.
- Never heard of Clerks.
Oopsies,
my head is spinning.
- That's the alcohol's working.
Doesn't it make all your problems seem less important?
- Greats don't have problems.
Everything bad that happens in Greatland is of Evil doing.
When Ugly Duck and I were kids,
we used to think Evils were these huge hairy monsters.
Anyway, Mother explained to me that Evils were like us.
Seriously, just like us!
And they were lurking amongst us,
doing their Evil deeds to doom us all.
- A common enemy is the best way
to unite a nation behind its government.
- Yeah, that's what you have, right,
in your Evildom?
A Government!
- Don't! Stop picking your nose.
Stop!
Who's Ugly Duck?
- A girl.
I think I like her.
I like a girl.
- Where is she?
- Repentance Island.
I'm going to save her.
I'm her Knight in Shining.
I'm her Knight in Shining Armor.
- Dear God, you found the fugitive!
- Yep, and I'm not doing your job again.
- It's not my job to chase after them!
Lady Omega told me to stay out of it.
She's on the edge, borderline psychotic.
- Fish rot from the head down.
You gonna have to stand up to him one day
or your children will be next.
- Help me!
- Hi there!
I got you some cookies and milk.
You used to like them.
- Where am I?
- Well, you're in your Dad's man cave.
It's not really a cave, it's an old garage but...
- My Dad's man cave?!
You knew my Dad?
Is he here?
- Why yes, he is.
- Well,
where?
Where is he, when's he coming?
- You're looking at him.
Well, say something, what do you think?
- No.
- You wanna see what I'm doing?
- No.
- I re-set your bracelet.
Your record is clean as a whistle. You can go back
to your life as if nothing ever happened.
- You wanna get rid of me?
- No, no, no, of course not.
Just you don't seem to be happy here.
So the least I can do is facilitate your return
to the mainland.
- Did you know that,
my son,
your grandson,
is a rabbit?
And if I go back,
I marry a birch tree.
- No, no!
- A hamster, then.
- God no!
I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!
I'm so sorry!
- Mr. Doberman, Your Excellency!
So honored to meet you!
- Sit young man.
It's just a dog.
It doesn't talk.
Good boy!
Get out of here.
You're breathtaking!
Exquisite!
I'm so glad I saw you.
- I don't understand.
- My little princess!
I'm not gonna let anybody hurt you.
Oh baby!
- That's your Mom.
- That's how I always imagined her.
Do you think she'll forgive me for breaking the bracelet?
- Sit down, Ulysses.
Your Mom, your real Mom was flesh and blood like you and me.
- Yeah, right!
- Your reaction is perfectly normal.
You've been brainwashed for fifteen years.
- Do you mean she was a woman?
like the one Mr. Lee contaminated and got Ugly Duck out of?
- Exactly! Well done!
- Wow, you must feel awful.
- No, not really.
I'm angry
she disappeared leaving you with me.
Not note, not a word all these years.
- That's why Stone Age procreation is banned in Greatland.
It's Evil!
- She was Evil.
- Oh, so I'm half Evil now?
Although that would explain a lot.
- Evils is not even their real name.
I think initially they were called Europeans
or Chinese or Russians.
Fascinating bunch!
When I was young, I was sent there to study their ways.
But I fell in love with Evelyn.
I returned with you to Greatland
and openly confessed my sin.
The Altruists decided to keep me on the island.
You were given a bracelet and sent to the mainland.
In the meantime, Lee had eloped with the daughter
of a high-ranking Altruist.
When she died in childbirth,
which tells you a lot about the state of medicine here
on the island,
Lee was made invisible and mute and sent back to Greatland.
But he promised me to educate you and take care of you.
- And that he did.
He and Mother and I,
we were one happy family before you showed up.
Mother is the best!
- Ulysses, the Mother of all Greats doesn't exist!
It is an automatic voice application that runs
on the bracelet broadcast system.
- Yeah, right!
You are just messing with me now!
Mother told me you would.
You got any other ideas up your sleeve, "Dad"?
Oh, I know!
This is Repentance Island!
- This is Repentance Island.
- Oh delight!
Oh loving delight!
I've been blinded!
- Calm down, calm.
Repentance Island is not what you think it is.
- By love, we live forever!
By love, we live forever!
- Why do I even bother? Forget it.
- Now you just hurt my feelings.
Repentance Island is like the spookiest place in Greatland.
How did you end up here?
- I was born here.
Do you want to know how Greatland works?
- No, not really. I'd rather go find my friend Ugly Duck.
- Well, you're not gonna be able to rescue her
unless you know what you're up against.
- All right, go ahead, enlighten me.
- This is the Mind Map of Greatland.
Me and Lee designed it.
The bracelet system was his invention.
- Someone spoke to me right before my bracelet blew up.
He said, "Follow." - "Follow Orion."
- Exactly!
And in exactly that voice!
Do you know who it was?
- It was me.
I programed that message into your bracelet many years ago.
- So if I never broke my bracelet,
you'd never reach out to me.
- I knew you would.
Let's not digress.
The bracelets catch the thoughts of all Greats
and transmit them here to the mainframe for analysis.
Each thought is evaluated on a three level scale,
Basic - green,
Slightly Above Average - yellow,
Dangerous/Complex - red.
This is SLAVE Sanctuary.
The SLAVEs are refusing to accept the authority
of the Felinists over them anymore.
- Wait, I thought the Felinists and
the SLAVEs had nothing do with each other.
- That's what Altruists want you to think.
The main purpose of the Felinists
is to control the female SLAVEs.
Fun fact: 80% of Felinists are euthanized
within the first three years of joining the program.
They are put out for Resurrection.
And that is where the second problem originated.
A few years ago, instead of euthanizing the Felinists,
Optimists began saving them.
- Like I want to save Ugly Duck?
- Exactly! Felinists and Optimists
who had "feelings" for each other, started to ran away,
began to pro-create:
there have been at least three babies born
in what I call "the separatist territories."
- Wow!
- This spells the end of the current social contract.
We must act now!
If Evils find out the true state
of affairs here in Greatland,
they'll wipe us out!
I have a list of measures.
- Dad, it's okay.
- I'm so tired.
I've been on my own so long.
I feel like I'm going crazy.
- You're not crazy, you just worry too much.
- What do you think of my map?
- Don't worry, it's not accurate at all.
I've been fooling Mother for years.
I only told her what she wanted to hear.
- Your bracelet always flashed yellow or red.
Mother's pretty accurate since she's the only gadget around.
- What's a "gadget"?
- Gadgets are communication toys.
Years ago, gadgets allowed everybody to talk to everybody.
But soon it became so loud that nobody could listen
to anybody anymore.
So the Altruists decided to get rid of all the gadgets,
leaving just one:
Mother.
- And the Greats agreed?
- They were relieved.
By then they came to associate happiness with a simple life.
You'd be amazed at the hardship people can accept
if you put a positive spin on it.
Positive Attitude Set-Up,
that's what kept Greatland going all these years.
- Look, Dad, your map is dope.
But I still have no idea where to find Ugly Duck.
- If she's anything like her mother
or Lee when he was still visible, she'd be a stunner.
- She's kinda
ugly beautiful.
- Follow me.
I think I know where she might be.
- Who are all these people?
- They are Altruists.
- Is that lady testing out a Cure for the Virus?
- I don't think so.
I think she's enjoying her breakfast.
- Hey! Those are Tokens of Love for the Cure research!
- Kiddo, there is no such thing as a cure against death.
Altruists know it.
They enjoy every moment
of their life making sure that you pay for it.
- But that's so. Evil!
- Exactly! This island is full of shit.
Most Clerks became Altruists,
or rebelled like Lee and were sent away.
I'm pretty much the only Clerk left standing.
Keep your moronic dog away from my cat!
What do you want?
The SLAVE Program!
You want those poor women
to stop growing wheat and start making weapons.
Out of what?
Thin air?
Greatland has many enemies.
Honey, please,
the rest of the world follows our model.
They love LOVE, they hate HATE.
We make sure they do.
- I don't care! Cat Purry will win this election!
Oh come in, Clerk!
- Lady Omega, Alpha Altruist.
- Hello, Clerk.
Came to talk to my husband about his little runaway whores?
Go ahead.
- No, Ma'am. Actually, I came to draw your attention
to recent developments
in the Mind Map.
- Oh very well, Clerk.
Tell us how many millions of Greats are ready
to give their Tokens of Love to Cat Purry?
- Greats are a dog nation, dear.
They don't wanna see your cat as their Sweetheart.
- We'll see about that.
Take care, Clerk!
- The legend tells that my great great-grandfather
and a Navajo chief exchanged their personal rifle
and tomahawk to seal a peace treaty.
- Why did the rifle come back?
- The ugly truth is that our side broke peace,
murdered the Navajo chief and all his tribe,
took back the rifle and all his land.
- I didn't know that,
fascinating.
And you are?
- Nobody. - He's my assistant.
- What for?
You're just inventing work for yourself, old friend.
- Not exactly.
If you care to take a look at the Mind Map.
- He's pale. Whose kid is he anyway?
I don't remember seeing him on the island.
- He's the Policeman's.
- Ah, bloody Irish!
Those Policeman reproduce faster than Cat Purry.
You're lucky you have such cute little sisters.
- I'm sure his Dad will be pleased
to know that the Alpha Altruist fancies his daughters.
- Get rid of this rusty old piece of junk.
Let's talk business.
- Wait for me outside.
- Did you find my little princess?
- She tried to swim to the mainland, she drowned.
- Why would she try to run away?
I treated her like my own daughter!
- She was tortured.
- Clerk,
I've known you forever.
Do you think I could possibly torture
a little girl like that?
- Of course, not.
But somebody tortured her.
- I passed her down to.
the Philanthropist!
Ask him.
If he tortured her, that's it!
I will send him no more of the new ones.
No more of the new ones.
- Psst!
Ugly Duck!
- Wow!
You look beautiful!
- Thank you. You're not too shabby yourself.
- Meh!
My Dad made me wear these.
I had to blend in.
- Who gave you this?
Where did you get this?
- Alpha Altruist, he's really nice.
And did you see Jörg Doberman and Cat Purry?
- We have to go, now!
- No! I'm not your property!
- But I came to save you!
- From what?
- Relax, old friend. Greatland is doing just fine.
We have successfully avoided a totalitarian dictatorship
and steered the ship toward a supra-democracy.
The Gender War is over.
Minorities decide for the majority.
And every Great has rights but no responsibilities.
On that note,
let's enjoy this beautiful sunset
on this perfect island, shall we?
- But the social peace is fragile,
replenishment of the population an issue.
Greatland has lost its economic
and technological advantages to Evildom.
- Enough! I'm gonna say this one time:
Don't be paranoid!
- Alpha Altruist rescued me from the Optimists.
He loves me like his own daughter.
- You don't understand anything!
The girl who was here before you, they killed her!
- What's "killed"?
- It's that Stone Age thing we read about in books!
You're put out but like, forever!
No Resurrection, nada!
- Alpha Altruist said he'd never let anyone hurt me.
This is the safest place on Earth!
Ulysses, I love you, to what end deceive?
But I am now another's bride.
For ever faithful will abide.
- Shit.
- What?
- Shit.
When I am angry I say "shit".
- We say "Love" and "Delight".
But I like your "Shit" better.
- Now say "Fuck!"
- "Fuck"
- Fuck!
- Fu uuuuu-ck!
Shit! - Fuck!
- Shit! - Fuck!
- Fuck!
- Shit! - Shit!
- Fuck! - Shit!
- Fuck! - Fuck!
- Hello, Clerk.
Jesus, I've known you for so long
that I forgot your real name.
- I forgot myself.
- Sometimes this island feels like a prison.
We certainly behave like prisoners.
Going by nicknames, dreaming of escaping.
- Pour vivre heureux, vivons cachés.
- Yes, to live happy let's live hidden.
But don't you just wanna go back to Greatland
and restore everything to how it was before?
We'll drop the act.
Call ourselves by our real names and titles.
Call everything by what it is.
- You would hold the mirror up
to the masses of depressed and neglected people.
What do you think the result would be?
- I have no idea.
But I want real power.
Not this golden retirement!
Are you too have this thirst,
this passion for real impact?
You want to leave a legacy.
You and I, we've been waiting
in the shadow of Alpha Altruist for decades.
I've had enough!
What about you?
- It won't work.
We have no resources to take power in Greatland.
- You are the smartest and most competent person
on this island.
I'm the voice of Mother.
Together we can figure it out.
- We're a dying breed.
We've been here our entire lives.
It's too late in the day for escaping.
- Coward!
- She thinks that you are the most competent guy
on the island!
And why is no one happy in a Stone Age marriage?
- I have a feeling that she's gonna try
and overthrow the Alpha Altruist.
- Seriously?
Well, then why didn't you take her up on her offer?
- Because the future of Greatland will be determined
by young people
like you.
And the strongest amongst them.
- Don't look at me! I'm not strong.
- I beg to differ.
You smashed your bracelet.
You came to the aid of a damsel in distress.
You are a rebel!
Live with it, embrace it.
- You really think I'm that dumb?
You didn't give a shit about me until you needed me.
Now you expect me to achieve everything you failed at.
Crafty, Dad!
Real crafty.
- Yeah, well,
that's about it.
- Unbelievable!
She was right, you are a coward.
- I'm out! Thanks for the cookies, Dad.
- Take your emotions out of the equation.
Think like a Clerk.
- All right!
You help me to take Ugly Duck away from the Alpha Altruist,
and I'm game to save Greatland.
Come on!
Think like a Clerk.
- Deal.
- All right.
Let's find out who's killing all the Great girls,
and show them that Clerks have teeth.
- Is this bug an insect?
Can it be?
- Philanthropist,
the Alpha Altruist wants to know what happened
to the last girl he passed on to you.
- Oh yes!
The blond beast of prey,
the magnificent blond beast!
- Except this one wasn't avidly prowling
for spoils of victory.
She was tortured and drowned.
- Round bugs,
shiny bugs,
fat bugs,
lady bugs.
I love bugs!
- He's full blast into bugs.
- No kidding?
Philanthropist!
Who killed the girl?
- Heaven has no rage
like love to hatred turned,
nor hell a fury
like a woman scorned.
- "Woman scorned",
that sounds like the Alpha Altruist's wife.
- Ex ore parvulorum veritas.
- "This child speaks the truth."
Then Lady Omega has gone bonkers.
Ugly Duck is in danger.
Greatland is in danger. We must hurry!
- Cool bugs, man!
"To whom it may concern,
I had killed myself.
My wife will become the next Sweetheart of Greatland.
Take care, the Alpha Altruist."
- She can't even write a decent suicide note.
Ulysses!
- Time's up Ugly Duck!
Stupid redhead!
Die you little whore!
- Dad?
- Die now!
Ugly redhead you!
- Ulysses help me!
- Just how fucking dumb is she!
- No Dad! You could kill Ugly Duck!
I have to go and save her!
Not my Mother, not my Sweetheart.
Fuck!
- I'm so sorry, Ulysses!
You were right!
Alpha Altruist tried to contaminate me
with his Life Force when his wife.
- Small wonder
that Trojans and Achaeans endured so much
and for so long,
for the sake of a woman so marvelously and divinely lovely.
- You read the "Odyssey"!
- Gotcha!
- She's heading to Greatland.
Our self-proclaimed Sweetheart needs TV
to make herself legit.
- How do you know?
- That's the advantage of spending your life
in the shadows of power.
Plenty of time
to observe,
to learn
and prepare.
- My fellow Greats!
The time has come.
According to the Tokens of Love cast for both candidates,
the next Greatland's Sweetheart is
I'm nervous,
Jörg Doberman!
- Let's go champ!
- A dog again?!
- No loving way! Fraud! Rigged! Boo!
- Felinist goddesses!
Join my Revolution!
- I'm your Mother
and I proclaim myself the Greatland's Sweetheart!
- Who the love is this?
- Another one of those crazy Felinists!
- I'm so confused right now
it's making me lose weight.
- My dear Great children!
I'm your Mother.
Don't listen to this woman.
She's an anti-Felinist hate-monger.
- Not my Sweetheart!
I'm not her! I'm who I am and I deserve better!
- Try soul-crushing pain and devastation and hopelessness
to describe how we are feeling in this moment.
- No! Greats won't be silenced!
My children!
As your Mother,
I'm appalled and saddened to inform you that this morning,
Jörg Doberman was cowardly put out for Resurrection
by this fanatic Felinist woman.
- Didn't we just say.
- Shush!
Everything you're saying now
is being broadcast across Greatland.
- But didn't we just say she was anti Felinist,
and now we're saying she is a Felinist fanatic!
- It doesn't matter.
Mother can say whatever she wants.
- Clerk! Open up! We know you're there!
- Enough is enough!
Down with Felinists!
- We're here on the order of Lady Omega.
Release the hostage immediately!
- What hostage?
Is it what I think?
- What?!
I found her on the floor.
- Unrest is spreading.
We need to deploy the Optimists.
- No way! This is fun!
- This is not a joke Ulysses!
- Clerk! Don't make me do it!
- We're losing control of the situation!
- Greatland is one big scam!
No one cares.
No one tells the truth.
No one should be in charge of this mess.
Let it all blow to pieces!
- Is this how we kill each other?
Ulysses, this is scary.
How do we go back?
In our "Amazing Love Store
when something was broken, we'd fix it.
Dad would never let us throw it away.
I want my Greatland back.
Please, make this madness stop.
- The majority of Greats are feeling the same way,
I guarantee you they're scared.
- Clerk! You're a dead man!
- Ulysses, you came here as Nobody.
Now you have Duck.
Together, you are Everybody.
- And what does Everybody want?
My children, Greats don't hate.
We love.
No need to fight.
I, your Mother, will make sure that sons
of Jörg Doberman grow strong and will compete
for the Greatland's Sweetheart title in the near future.
By love, we live forever!
Meanwhile, Cat Purry will act
as Greatland's Interim Sweetheart.
- Phew, what a scare!
But all's well that ends well.
All love and admire Cat Purry!
- All love and admire Cat Purry!
- The new Greatland Sweetheart!
- Greatland! Greatland! Greatland!
- Clerk! We're breaking in!
- All right, time's up.
- Come on!
- Why did you blow up the House on the Hill?
I thought you were all for continuity!
- I snapped.
I owe your Father a great debt.
This is for you,
a small token of my gratitude.
- Thank you, Uncle Clerk.
- With the House on the Hill gone,
this is the only thing that commands the Optimists
and pretty much everything in Greatland.
You are Mother now.
- Uncle Clerk, you mean so much to me.
- Clerk! It's over! Give up Cat Purry!
- Get to the boat! They won't follow you to the mainland.
They're shit scared of Greats.
- No, I'm not leaving you!
- Listen to me, Clerk.
Rule Greatland in Cat Purry's name.
Open the minds of the Greats gradually.
No chaos, no brisk moves, smooth transition.
Study the Mind Map, it has many levels.
Find the blueprint for the Great Reform and follow it.
- Please, come with me!
- This island's all I know.
I am a coward, Ulysses.
I wouldn't last a day in a new world.
- Ulysses hurry up!
- By love, we live forever! Now go!
Ulysses!
- Hey!
Hey!
- Be strong saith my heart.
I am a Clerk.
There will be killing until the score is paid.