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Hi, I’m Ben Bradley, freelance photographer
I mostly take pictures at weddings
but occasionally I get something really interesting to shoot
or even an overseas job
I’m married to Joanne and have 3 children...
all boys...
Personally, I would have stuck at 2 but my wife kept rolling the dice and my DNA
in a desperate bid to redress the male female balance in the family...
Eventually we gave up...
and with only a local anaesthetic and 1 of Vivaldi’s 4 seasons for distraction
I opted for the snip, no more boys or girls in the Bradley family.
SNIP!
Apart from the temporary sensation of being kicked in the nuts by a horse...
life was good.
GROAN!
I guess it all started the night my wife went to a work party...
Wow! You’re looking stunning! ...will you marry me?
What, again?
Couples do you know, renew their marriage vows
Maybe when we’re in our sixties
I’ll put a note in my diary...
don’t worry about the kids tonight, have a good one
I’ll do my best, don’t wait up... love you!
KISS
TENSE MUSIC
I was worried sick she’d been involved in an accident...
but she eventually arrived safe...
problem seemed to be that she was a different wife...
to the one who had left home the previous evening...
My new wife preferred to sleep on an airbed in the spare room...
rather than with me...
and conversation was, at best, minimal.
Excuse me, you’re in my way
What I thought was a temporary situation...
evolved into an ever more awkward relationship...
She obviously knew what was going on but I was totally in the dark...
and the children were oblivious to everything...
except retrieving Lego bricks they had fed into the video recorder.
I can see Darth Vada’s head but I can’t quite get it out.
A month passed and I was now living with an almost complete stranger
I was wondering if...umm...
She had extracted all her clothes and femininity from the bedroom...
and moved lock, stock and false eyelashes into our spare room...
and whilst there wasn’t actually a no entry sign on the door...
it was definitely a no go area...
I had become as welcome in my own home as a fart in a perfume factory.
Jo...can we just talk?
I’m busy
Maybe, she had found someone else...
but she was an earth mother type and devoted to our children...
it seemed unlikely, but I hadn’t changed...
and if you ignore the odd peek at the Playboy centrefold...
my marriage vows were still squeaky clean.
Are you seeing someone else?
Honestly Ben, there isn’t anyone else, we’ve just grown apart
I haven’t grown anywhere
Excuse me
Something had dramatically changed in our relationship...
but exactly what, was for her to know and me to wonder...
in a house now inhabited not by a family...
but by two estranged adults and three bewildered children
Dad, are you taking us to the park today?
Best ask if your mother has any plans for today
She said ask you
I couldn’t go on like this, something needed to be done...
she wouldn’t talk to me...
I felt blameless but maybe we both needed help
Dearest Jo, I’m not sure what I’ve done wrong...
obviously something I’ve said or done has upset you...
I thought we were happily married but maybe it was only me that was happy...
I’ve made an appointment on Friday...
for us to see a marriage guidance counsellor...
can I confirm that we will both attend? ... All my love, Ben
SONG: You and I darling...
Just leaves on the sea...
Carried by currents...
To far away shores
Food in the fridge no longer included anything for me...
and the pile of my ironing was now getting dangerously high.
The confession finally arrived...
the day before I was due to fly to Africa for work...
In a house where we had become two opposing magnets...
she was actually waiting for me in the kitchen.
I...erm...I don’t love you any more and...I’ve met somebody else
I’d figured that out
I’d like you to move out, so I can live here with the kids
Great, so this house I’ve worked so hard to buy, renovate, decorate...
you plan to give to your new lover...
kick me out of my own house!
would you like me to gift wrap it for you?
may take a couple of days to sort the paper and a bow that big!
tell you what, I won’t paper over the front door...
be easier for you to get in and out.
She had never been a fan of sarcasm, now was no exception...
the scowl I received said everything.
I hadn’t told her about my trip abroad for work...
and was suddenly concerned that I would return to a house...
similar to mine, but with different locks and a new lover...
poised to pour boiling oil on me from an upstairs window...
it would obviously be a mistake to tell her how long I would be away for...
but I needed the kids to know that dad wouldn’t be around for a while.
I’m going to be working abroad for a while...
I’ll speak to my solicitor before I leave...
let him know what’s happening...
if you want the house, you’ll have to fight me for it...
you haven’t contributed a penny towards it and as far as I’m concerned...
you don’t deserve a penny from it...
why don’t you just go and live with your new guy?
He hasn’t got a house
Well maybe you should have chosen someone who does!
With my brain spinning between packing for my trip...
booking airport parking, having jabs and spending time with the children...
this was not what I needed, but a break of two weeks from the strain of...
living with a woman who shared my surname and very little else...
was probably what I needed right now, time to think...
time to absorb the enormity of it all, the welcome distraction of work.
Next please
Good morning sir, where are you travelling to?
I bet she changes the locks while I’m away
Hello, where are you travelling to today?
Sorry, I was miles away
You soon will be, what’s your final destination?
Kenya
That’s one of our most popular holiday destinations
Actually it’s for work, no time for relaxing
Well at least your work will be warm and sunny! Not like here
Would you like smoking or non-smoking?
Non-smoking please...I didn’t know you could still smoke on planes?
You can’t on most of them...
but you’re on a Spanish airline, even the pilots refuse...
to give up smoking in the cockpit, say they have the right to smoke at work
Well, just as long as they don’t start taking a siesta up there!
Oh, do you have a window seat?
Let me see what I can do...
Yes, just in front of the engines, bit quieter there...
you’ll be able to hear yourself think
Not sure that’s a good idea at present, but thank you
And how many bags are you checking in?
Only one
If you could pop it on the belt please
Your boarding passes for your two flights...
and your luggage is checked through to your final destination...
have a good trip sir
Thank you.
I was trying to think about work but my thoughts kept straying to my marriage...
my wife, my children and the unbearable possibilities...
of what might be going on in my house right now.
I made frequent calls home to talk to the boys but...
only succeeded in talking to myself...
“Hi, it’s Ben, please leave a short message..."
At first I thought it was just bad timing...
but after two weeks with no contact...
I began to suspect that something radical was going on...
something which I just couldn’t begin to discover...
from a distance of a few thousand miles away.
I eventually flew home from Africa after what seemed like months away...
It was with a distinct feeling of trepidation that I approached my house
Jo’s car wasn’t on the drive...
and there were no young boys running out to greet me...
the house looked distinctly lifeless.
I searched the house, anxiously looking for a letter, a note...
some sign of where my family had gone, but nothing...
It was cold, lifeless...
and I was finally coming to terms with the fact that I no longer had a wife...
and 3 boys. It was my house, but it no longer felt like my home.
Hi Ben, It’s Steve, just checking your availability for work next week...
1 day, probably Wednesday, in London.
Hi you two, it’s Julia and Martin, hope you are well...
we need to catch up, are you busy this weekend?
Hi Scott, hi Zak, hi Jamie, it’s dad, calling from Africa...
I hope you’re all behaving yourselves, I’ll see you Saturday, bye.
Hi Ben, It’s Faye, I’m a friend of your wife...
I know you’re away for work...
but I urgently need to see you when you get back...
can you give me a call as soon as possible please?
Thanks, my number is 4960619
I vaguely knew this woman, think I’d met her once outside the school gates...
ringing her would have to wait, I was tired, jet lagged, confused...
and I suddenly remembered, really hungry
Calling this Faye was just about the last thing I wanted to do...
but I was intrigued.
Hi, is that Faye? it’s Ben, Joanne’s husband
Ben, hi! Great, your back, can you pop round and see me?
Yes, maybe tomorrow afternoon, but can I just ask what it’s all about?
are you looking for a photographer?
Not exactly, I can’t really wait until tomorrow, it’s really urgent...
I need to see you tonight
This all sounds very mysterious, maybe later...
are you sure you can’t tell me what this is about?
Not over the phone, my address is 46 Field Close, it’s not far from you...
I’ll see you later, ok great.
FAYE HANGS UP
Hello?
bloody great... what the hell’s going on?
Wife and kids have vanished, house is just an empty shell...
strange woman needs to see me urgently...
at least it can’t get much worse, or so I thought...
as I started to open 2 weeks post, mostly junk mail...
and 2 ominous letters from my bank...
The first telling me I’m overdrawn on our joint account...
the second, advising me that my business account had been frozen...
and I needed to contact the bank immediately...
So, she had cleaned out our bank accounts too...
This was fast shaping up to be the worst day of my life!
Right, where does the mysterious Faye live...not too far away...
and I can pick up an Indian takeaway on the way back.
I suddenly felt quite apprehensive about meeting this mysterious Faye...
What on earth was she about to tell me...
that couldn’t have travelled down a phone line?
Hi...Faye? Ben, we spoke earlier
Glad you could make it, come in
I know you, you’re Scott’s dad
Yes I am, and what’s your name?
Lilly and this is my baby sister Maisy
I’m only 10 minutes younger than her
Come on you two, up to bed...
straight to bed.
How was your trip?
Oh, too hot, too many flies, I’ve been travelling for days, I’m really tired...
and I just want to know why you needed to see me so urgently?
It’s about your children
What about them? I haven’t seen them for weeks
How would you like to see them now?
Now, like right now?
Right now, right here
Well of course, where are they?
Upstairs? Here?
Your children are asleep upstairs, your wife has moved up north...
and she has told me to either give them back to you...
or to put them into care
I don’t believe this, where up north has she gone?
I don’t know, somewhere in Yorkshire, I don’t have an address...
do you want to see them?
Of course I would!
Hopefully they’re asleep, Jamie and Scott are sharing on the airbed...
and they're in my son’s room and Zak's sharing with me.
And there they were, the boys I had been trying desperately to contact...
for the last two weeks, peacefully asleep...
totally unaware of their dad watching over them...
my brain now in orbit around my head...
desperately trying to comprehend the implications of it all
So do you want them or not, or shall I ring the council in the morning?
look, I can’t cope with six kids especially your youngest...
from the moment he wakes up he’s crying, he won’t stop
Of course I want them, but I need to sort a few things...
I don’t have beds for them, I’m working next week...
not sure who will look after them, take them to school...
this is a lot to take in. I’ll come round in the morning, about 9 ok?
Yes, nine’s ok, I’ll give you till half past then I’m calling the council...
I’m practically running an orphanage here!
I’ll see you tomorrow, for sure.
I completely forgot to call in at the Indian takeaway...
somehow, events had vapourised my hunger...
my brain was now in overload, work, need to cancel...
childcare, where do I find it? what does it cost?
beds, I need three and quickly, food, need to stock up...
why’s she done this, bloody cow!
I was beyond tiredness but my brain was fizzing and buzzing...
trying to sort out the consequences of tonight’s events...
and sleep simply wasn’t on the agenda.
Good morning, did I dream coming here last night?
Daddy!
We really missed you ... so did Steggy!
Here’s all their clothes, toys and you can borrow these
Thank you
I’ve got our toothbrush too!
To the car!
Will mummy be at home?
Um ... I think she’s out at the moment
Will she be back later?
I’m really not sure.
We arrived at my big, cold, empty house...
but the boys were overjoyed at just being back home
We’re home! Race you all to the front door!
I guess it was the familiarity of returning home...
after what must have been a confusing couple of weeks for them.
It looks sort of different?
Let’s check all the bedrooms!
Suddenly I had become a single parent...
and more importantly, a non-working single parent...
with no income and very little money in the bank...
I needed to get back to work and quickly...
time to investigate childcare
I tried crèche type places but...
soon realized my boys were way too old for these...
next was after school clubs but these would only reduce the problem...
and were not a solution...
my current job hours were erratic, often at weekends...
I needed longer, more flexible childcare... a nanny !
I delved back into Yellow Pages.
Hi Andrea, I’m looking for a full time nanny for 3 children...
you’re already busy...
I’m enquiring about full time childcare...
you only do 9 till 4...
Do you do weekends?
No, I fully understand...
You have a limit of 2 children...
You’ve broken your arm, I’m so sorry...
can you recommend anyone with two arms?
You charge how much an hour?
and double time for after 5 and weekends!
It was becoming obvious why so many single parents can’t afford to work...
and crash out on state benefits, but that’s not for me...
I enjoy my work and it's reasonably paid...
apart from instantly finding a new partner...
there must be some other childcare solution out there.
It was a chance meeting with Denise, one of my not quite ex wife’s friends...
that led me in another direction.
Hi Ben, I heard you’ve got the boys back...
I can’t believe Joanne did that to you
No...bit of a surprise, that one!
I think it’s probably best for the boys now...
if you ask me, her new boyfriend’s a bit strange
I think the less I know about him the better
I don’t know what she sees in him...
I preferred some of the others
Others?
Sorry, I thought you would have known by now
How many “others”?
Well I suppose it doesn’t matter now, a few...quite a few
When did she have the time, the boys are a full time job and a half ?
You know she was going to London to see art galleries at the weekends...
It wasn’t marble statues of men she was looking at, I doubt she’s ever seen one
Sorry, I just can’t take this in...
this isn’t a divorce, it’s a marital mugging
I’m really sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything...
but if I was you I’d get the boys tested
Tested, for what?
DNA, they might not even be you kids
But anyway, how are you coping?
I was coping ok, boys are fine, slowly adjusting to their new situation...
Zak obviously misses his mum, and I’m short on childcare, any suggestions?
Well, have you considered an au pair?
I thought they were just for rich people, polishing silverware...
testing the temperature of the wine, that sort of thing?
No, I know a family that's had an au pair to look after the kids for years
all you need to give them is a spare room, some pocket money...
and enough time to study English.
Good tip, thanks, right now, I’ll try anything
And if you ever need any company, you know where to find me!
It was back to Yellow Pages but this time searching for au pair agencies...
none locally but telephones are wonderful things...
It wasn’t long before I found an agency that arranged European au pairs...
Yes, to start as soon as possible ... oh, any nationality
Bingo! I signed up immediately and my fax machine was soon buzzing...
with Marias, Gertrudes and Heidis...
all promising to cook my family and preserve my boys...
well, they were coming to improve their English
I pored over the applications and soon learnt how to interpret them...
"I am cooking a little"
means they could make a sandwich
"I am fluid in basic English"
means they could pronounce their name and address
"I very enjoy looking for zee children"
means my parents are always asking me to babysit my little brother
I quickly plumped for a French girl called Sophie...
her parents owned a cake shop...
so she must surely know something about cooking and cleaning...
to my amazement, Sophie agreed to move to England and rescue my boys from...
my now almost exhausted selection of fish finger recipes.
Great news boys, this is Sophie...
she’s coming from France to help look after us all
Will it be like having two mums?
Umm, sort of
Will she cook French beans every day?
Maybe...make a change from baked beans!
BUSY MUSIC
Is Sophie coming today?
She should be here soon
I’m going to spot her first
No you’re not
We can see her through the bedroom window!
HAPPY MUSIC
DOOR BELL RINGS
Bonjour, hello! I am Sophie, are you Been?
Ben, yes, come in
Welcome to England, Birmingham and my family
this is the kitchen
It is very nice
You must be thirsty, I’ll make you a drink, coffee?
Thank you
I’ve only got instant, is that ok?
Yes...thank you
How was your journey?
It was ... ok ... not too long
Good
These are your children?
That's Jamie at the top and Scott on the left at the bottom
She was instantly likeable, competent and for the first time in weeks...
I felt a streak of sanity creeping back into my life...
most importantly, I could return to work and pay for it all.
READS BUFFALO
I soon felt the pressure of 24/7 childcare lighten on my shoulders
EGG TIMER RINGS
Growing up in a patisserie...
Sophie knew more about baking croissants than cooking
but as Marie-Antoinette famously said, "let them eat cake" and we did, big time
Voilà! Oh! It’s really difficult not to say that word.
After only a few days, it felt like Sophie had been with us for weeks...
she even started cooking proper dinners ...
and had become a surrogate mother to the boys...
just occasionally though, their real mother would phone up.
Hello?
Oh hi mum...
"Are you all ok?"
Yes, we’re all ok, we have real beds now and Sophie makes us cake every day...
"Umm, sounds delicious!"
When are we next seeing you?
"I’ll pick you up on Easter Friday about 6, we’ll wait outside the house"
OK, I’ll tell dad, see you later, bye.
The Easter holidays came and went and the boys were due back...
from visiting their mother somewhere in Yorkshire...
I was working late and things weren’t going well...
Sorry mate, it’s the flashes, they’re putting me off
Ok, let’s take a break.
TELEPHONE RINGS
Hello
Hi Sophie, it’s Ben
Hi Ben
Is everything ok?
Yes, everything is ok, would you like to speak to Scott?
it’s your father, and dinner is ready in 5 minutes.
Hi! It’s dad
I’m still at work, did you have a good time in Yorkshire?
Yes, we all went to the beach
it was a bit cold...
but we were skimming stones in the sea...
and Jamie got really wet when he trod on a big wave
Sounds fun! Is Jamie around, I’d like a quick chat with him?
He’s not here
Oh, where is he?
He’s not coming back, he’s living with mum now
Sorry, what did you say?
Jamie’s living in Yorkshire now, with mum
That’s what I thought you said
Dad, dad are you still there? I can’t hear you, hello?
I’ve got to go and eat now, dinner’s ready
Yes, ok, tell Zak I’ll see him tomorrow
See, easy peesy without your flashes mate!
We never really spoke too much about Jamie after that...
I wrestled with my feelings on a daily basis...
and blamed myself for somehow failing him...
the truth was, I was really struggling to keep all the balls in the air...
the huge divorce payment which enabled us all to stay in our home...
had left my finances at rock bottom...
Jamie had probably been bribed with a new bike...
at his age, I probably would have made the same decision...
little did I know then, that the next time I would see my boy Jamie...
he would be a grown man.
In 1986, British premier Thatcher and French premier Mitterand...
agreed to build the chanel tunnel.
TV: The Child Support Agency calculate the amount of maintenance...
absent parents, in most cases fathers, have to pay...
by a strict standard formula, but that formula...
takes no account of debts, expenses or previous legal settlements.
We divorced about 6 years ago, in the interests of the children...
we had a maintenance agreement drawn up, and I’ve paid it regularly...
never missed a month, now the Child Support Agency is telling me...
I’m not paying enough, so they’ve upped it by 700%! So that doesn't...
leave me with enough money for train fares to visit the kids at weekends...
it’s just impossible to discuss it with them...
you get more response from a brick wall...
they should call it the Child Divorce Agency.
And Robert’s not the only one...
we have discovered numerous other cases of hardship...
caused by the Child Support Agency’s rigid formula...
for calculating maintenance payments.
No doubt some fathers were being harassed by them...
but I doubted the CSA would affect me...
still, I needed to put my mind at rest.
I hadn’t seen my solicitor since the divorce was settled in court...
I had scraped together enough money to pay for my divorce settlement...
and his hefty bill...
now, I was virtually begging for some free advice.
KNOCKS ON DOOR
[ I'll call you back ] Come in...
Hello, nice to see you, how’s it going?
Well, the divorce dust has settled now, I’m looking after two of the boys...
and my ex has care of my eldest boy...
Interesting, splitting up siblings
Wasn’t my choice, I can assure you!
Thing is, I’ve been hearing horror stories about...
this new government department...
the CSA and I was wondering if you could tell me how it will affect us?
the CSA, yes, the Child Support Agency...
how it’s all going to work is still filtering through...
I’ve actually got their software here...
for calculating how much absent parents are liable to pay
Excuse me, I’m not exactly an absent parent!
Well, let’s see what the calculator says...
I haven’t used it yet, maybe we can stumble through it together...
here we are, Child Support Agency, child maintenance calculator...
OK, let’s give it a shot...
personally, I wouldn’t think you have too much liability...
if you are caring for 2 of the 3 children...
I need some figures from you, do you currently have a mortgage?
A big one
So your monthly repayments would be?
About £450 a month
What is your weekly gross income?
It can be really up and down...
I can earn 3 or £400 some weeks, other weeks I earn nothing at all...
especially in the winter when no one’s getting married
Ah yes, I remember, you’re a photographer...
well, let’s look at the worst case scenario...
shall we say £400 per week?
It could be that much in the summer
Are you in receipt of any benefit payments?
Just child benefit
And your ex wife and partner, would you know their earnings?
To the best of my knowledge, neither of them are working, I could be wrong...
but I presume that’s what triggers the CSA to contact "absent parents"?
That does indeed sound likely
I need to double check these figures, this is really perplexing...
even though you have care of 2 children and your ex wife 1 child...
it appears that basically, because you are earning, with a reasonable income...
and we believe she is declaring no income...
according to this calculator...
you could be liable for paying her around £560 a month...
in respect of maintenance for the one child who is living with her
What! But that can’t be right, what about my child care costs?
I have to pay for 24/7 live-in child care so I can carry on working...
surely those costs should be included...
in whatever this dumb equation is calculating?
I totally agree but there simply isn’t a box for that information...
in my opinion, the whole calculation is weighted...
on the difference between your earnings and your ex wife’s earnings...
which is considerable
But that can’t be right! According to this I have to work my butt off...
so she can sit on her arse and do sod all!
Ben, you haven’t heard from them and we don’t know if this will apply to you
I’ll run the figures again and make a few enquiries, we’re all on a...
learning curve with this, I’m glad you’ve brought it to my attention
This just doesn’t seem reasonable, gotta be some mistake...
must be something they're not allowing for?
Let’s not panic just yet, ... I’ll be in touch
Thank you.
I left the solicitor’s office wishing I hadn’t even gone there...
maybe I was just being suspicious but I simply couldn’t believe...
that the birth of the CSA and her kidnapping Jamie was a coincidence.
Dad, I’ve got your letters!
Ah! No pets allowed at school.
We are writing to inform you that your ex wife, Joanne Bradley...
is claiming child support...
maintenance payments from you as the non-resident father of Jamie Bradley...
who resides with her. As part of this claim...
the Child Support Agency will calculate the amount due each month...
The Inland Revenue has informed us that your work status is self-employed...
In order to process this application, we need you to provide up to date...
audited accounts for the last six months, please do not delay sending this
information, your maintenance payments will be backdated as being payable...
from the date of this letter.
Inwardly I knew that she had dumped the boys, run off with another man...
and was now holding Jamie hostage, somewhere in Yorkshire...
in order to screw me for money, but I was caring for the other two boys...
surely this should negate any payment? I decided it was all a mistake...
and I just needed to speak to someone at the CSA to clarify things.
The gym had become my escape from single parenting and the CSA...
it was also a world of pain but one I had control of.
Hi, have you finished on this?
Sorry, yes, daydreaming...
It’s all yours
Are you ok? Have you strained something?
No, nothing physical, I have problems but it’s in my head, not in my body
I’m Liam, sometimes it’s good to share problems
True, but I wouldn’t want to pollute anyone else’s brain...
with the crap filling my head right now
I spend my life listening to crap, I’m a copper...
you should hear some of the stories people tell me
You don’t look like a copper Liam
Without a uniform and the blue flashing light, we can be pretty inconspicuous
I’m Ben
tell you what, few more reps then, pub round the corner, let’s go for a drink..
after all this punishment and you can share your troubles with me...
strictly off the record, of course
It’s a deal.
So how often do you get to the gym?
depends on my shifts, I try to get there 4 times a week but it never happens
I’ll get them, what you having?
Lager with a dash of lime, just a half please, I’ll take your bag
Pint of Guinness and a half of lager and lime please
OK
Thank you
So, what’s the story, morning glory?
Well, long story cut to shreds, I’m a single father, have 2 boys...
my ex has the third one and she’s trying to get child maintenance...
from me through this new government Child Support Agency...
thought it was a joke at first...
but seems I’m liable for hundreds of pounds a month
Welcome to the club Ben!
Sorry?
Me too. I’ve been divorced about 3 years, have a boy and a girl...
I was giving my ex what I could afford towards the kids...
I’ve also just had a letter from the CSA...
I don’t know how they calculate it but what they’re demanding is just way more
than I can afford, I’m going to be working every shift available...
just to pay it, and there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it...
they’ve hit me with a deductions from earnings order...
the bastards are taking it direct from my wages...
I’m just stuffed
Well I’m self-employed, have to declare my earnings...
they’re variable to say the least
What do you do?
Photographer...
in case you’re thinking of re-marrying
You gotta be joking, I’ll be paying for the last one for the rest of my life!
It was the end of another long week of asking people to say cheese...
time to sample another one of Sophie’s froggy cake creations...
unwind and spend some time with the boys.
Dad, we’ve got your letters
Thanks boys...
think I’ll save that one for later
Dinner is ready
Come on boys, let’s eat, I’m starving
SIGHS
PHONE RINGS
Hi, Ben here
Am I talking to Mr. Benjamin Bradley?
Yes, last time I looked in the mirror
I’m calling from the Child Support Agency, Dudley
Sorry, I didn’t catch your name
John
We sent you a letter last week about child maintenance payments...
I’m just checking to see if you received it
Yes, I need to speak to you about it, I think it’s all some sort of mistake...
You see two of the children live with me
We take all that into account, you just need to complete the form we sent you
and supply evidence of your earnings
That’s not something I can do instantly, I need to get my accountant to prepare
some interim accounts, and pay him to do it, do you reimburse me?
I’m afraid not, we have your work status down as self-employed...
it is your responsibility to supply evidence of your earnings...
when we decide how much you should be paying in maintenance...
for the child who lives with your ex wife, it will all be backdated...
there is no point in delaying the process
That’s good to know, I’ll get working on it
Thank you, have a good weekend
Good weekend! That’s a great start to it, thank you John...
Tosser!
Come in
Ben!
Ravi, you shouldn’t have tidied up specially for me
Actually, I’m thinking of getting a computer...
apparently I can put all this on something called a floppy disk...
anyway, it’s always good to see you but a bit unusual for you...
to visit me this time of year, is there a problem?
Well yes and no...
I have this new government Child Support Agency chasing me for money...
money I’m sure I don’t owe but they are asking to see evidence of my earnings...
it’s not a flat rate thing, seems the more I earn, the more I have to pay
You’re not the first of my clients to fall into their net...
from what I’ve seen...
they do seem to be particularly targeting the self-employed...
and owners of small companies...
I’ll sort out some interim accounts but you know...
I can’t do anything to actually make your income look less
I know, I know, I’m not expecting you to...
I've just got to send them some figures...
I’m sure it will all blow over, she’ll probably end up paying me
I’ll need your latest paperwork
I bring you a gift
I’ll do my best Ben...
I should have something over to you by the end of the week...
shall I post them to you or fax?
Post please, I have to send it to the CSA along with all the other info...
Great, that should stop them breathing down my neck
Oh Ben, before you disappear till next year, friend of mine is looking...
for some family portraits, he really likes the ones you did for me
Great!
Can you give him a call?
Certainly will, many thanks.
See you soon.
Is this a private photo or can anyone join in?
Julia! I've been meaning to give you a ding
It’s been months Ben, we heard about you and Jo, how are you doing?
Everything is good, I just work, look after the boys, work a bit more...
teach my French au pair some useful English like...
“Yes officer, I know you drive on the left in England”
LAUGHS
You’ve still got your sense of humour then despite this marital mayhem
Essential part of being a photographer...
it’s not just about taking photos and making memories you know...
it’s about making the day an enjoyable experience for everyone...
And how’s Martin?
Still very Welsh, planning his early retirement, grumpy as ever
No change there then, is he still working for the VAT office?
Yes indeed, parks up outside Chinese restaurants for a week, counts the...
customers going in and checks to see if they tally with the declared takings
I’d sooner do Indian
Oh he does them as well
And are you still soliciting for them?
Afraid so, when the restaurant VAT bills don’t match the declared takings...
he passes them onto me and in goes Super Vatgirl and takes them to court...
we’re kind of a dynamic duo, without the skin tight suits and scary masks
Do you fancy a coffee?
Yes but, I’ve got to go, hairdressers appointment
but if I don’t hear from you in the next few weeks, I’ll send round
my Welsh Rottweiler to stake you out, count how many girlfriends you have
I wish I had the time!
BLOWS KISS
I’ll be in touch
I promise!
CAMERA CLICK
PHONE RING
Hi, Ben here
Mr. Bradley?
Yes, speaking
It’s the Child Support Agency, Dudley
Do you people only ring on Friday nights after 7 o’clock?
We still haven’t received a reply to the questionnaire we sent you
I’m sorting it, pestering me like this won’t speed anything up...
who am I speaking to anyway? You CSA people never introduce yourselves?
Mark
Mark who?
I’m sorry, we don’t give out our surnames
And you don’t even put your names on your letters...
just a scrawled, unreadable signature...
is that a basic qualification for working in your rat’s nest?
What is this, the KGB? You know my name but I’m not allowed to know yours...
what if I need to contact you?
If you need to speak to an advisor, just quote your case reference number...
and one of the team will help you, we all share your information
I bet you do!
When can we expect a reply from you?
As soon as I have all my accounts, it’s being sorted!
Thank you, I’ll update your case notes
My pleasure!
CLICK
Bugger!
ARGH!
CAR DOOR SLAM
KNOCKS ON DOOR
Hi, Daphne, soon to be Mrs Rogers?
Ben Bradley, your wedding photographer
We didn’t think you were coming, we were about to ring someone else
Sorry, terrible traffic, there was an accident
Looks like you were in it!
Come in
Would you mind taking your shoes off?
just had a new carpet fitted, early wedding present
This is Simon
Better known as “the lucky man”
Hi
Was anyone hurt?
Hurt, where?
In the car accident
No, just a bumper shunt at a roundabout
Will you be looking smarter on our wedding day?
Too right I will, I scrub up really well...
be the smartest man there...
apart from the groom, best man, father of the bride...
I’ll show you some photos
Lovely photos
Thank you
You’re probably praying for good weather but I do recommend...
making contingency plans for taking your photos inside...
or organise some white umbrellas, has been known to rain in April
It’s not going to rain on our big day, it’s sorted
And will you be visiting the venue before the wedding day?
Well, I’ve worked there so many times, I know every leaf on the trees...
all the names of the ducks on the lake, but if it makes you feel better...
and takes some of the stress out of marrying Simon...
Err ... stress out of organising the wedding...
sure, we can meet there one day...
and I’ll need a list, all the group shots you want...
and anything special you have planned
And you do organise the wedding album?
I sure do, just let me know what sort of style you like and...
I’ll get you some samples. This style is very popular this year
I think I fancy something a bit more classy
I can do classy
Sorry, I have to go, somewhere I need to visit before it closes...
if there’s anything you need to discuss before the big day, and there will be...
just give me a ding ... nice meeting you
You said you needed a deposit from us
Don’t worry, I trust you
Your albums Ben!
Thank you, bye!
HANDBRAKE ON
SIGHS
Good afternoon sir, can I help you?
I was hoping to see one of your advisors...
I haven't actually got an appointment
Oh ... we’ve got 6 people waiting...
we might be able to squeeze you in as our last of the day...
but there will be a wait...
probably over an hour, will that be ok?
Have to be
Ok, can you sign in please, and say briefly what you need help with...
have you been to this Citizen’s Advice Bureau before?
No, never
If you can take a seat in the waiting room, it’s the last door on the left
CLOCK TICKING
Mr. Bradley? I have an advisor free now, can you follow me?
We’re starting to get a lot of enquiries about the CSA
Mainly from fathers I would guess
Actually no, it’s mums and dads, seems nobody is very happy with the new system
some fathers can’t afford to pay...
and mothers aren’t receiving what the CSA has promised them...
bit of a lose-lose situation, ... just go on up the stairs.
Good afternoon, I’m Deborah, sorry to keep you waiting...
too many problems to sort, not enough staff, how can I help you?
I’ll keep it simple, I’m a single parent...
I’ve been looking after my 3 boys...
with the help of a live-in au pair, she’s French...
sorry, too much detail, my ex wife recently kidnapped my eldest boy...
I’m not sure you can accuse a mother of kidnapping her own child...
anyway, please continue
Ok, she failed to return him to me after a weekend visit up north...
now I’ve received a letter from this new Child Support Agency thing...
telling me I’m liable to pay maintenance to her, I just can’t believe it!
She left me for another guy and abandoned her children...
now I’m caring for two boys...
and have to pay for full time child care, she only has one...
and because she’s too bloody lazy, ... sorry, to work...
I’m expected to pay for it all, it’s just not right
Well ... I agree it doesn’t seem fair...
do you mind if I just spend a few minutes swatting up on the CSA?
it’s all fairly new to us as well
Sure.
DESK DRAWER CLOSED
OK, the government has two stated aims...
to reduce child poverty and to make non-resident parents...
responsible for the financial upkeep of their children...
the non-resident parent should be left with at least 60% of their net income...
the calculation uses a fixed percentage of your net income...
all seems very black and white
Yes, and 100% based on disappearing dads who do a runner...
my situation is just a bit different...
for a start it was my wife who wore the running shoes...
and I look after more kids than she does...
I’m the exception that just doesn’t fit the rule
At this point, I can only suggest you supply them with all the information...
they have requested and see what your liability is, it may be very little
But I’ve already run it all through their calculator...
and it’s telling me I have to pay around £560 a month...
I never know what I’m earning from one month to the next!
As I said...
I think at this stage you should comply with whatever the CSA is asking...
and if you still feel aggrieved by the situation...
do come back and see me
Thank you ... I may well be back.
Could you sign out please?
Thank you ... Bye
Goodbye Mr. Bradley... good luck!
Looks like I’m going to need it.
SONG
"I'm gonna find me a way"
"To help things"
"I know I'm gonna find me a way"
"Given that I own"
"I watch the news every day"
"I wanna look away"
"I'm gonna find me a way I know."
Hi Ben, looks like you’ve got the weight of the world on your shoulders
I could do with building them up a bit, get some boulder shoulders
Could it be anything to do with something...
beginning with C and ending in A?
With an S for shitheads in the middle
That’s the one!
They’re piling on the pressure now, they must be on some serious incentives...
to extract money from us...
they keep ringing to remind me I haven't returned their damn form...
they’re obviously super keen because they’ve all got new jobs...
probably been promoted from traffic wardens...
or some other socially parasitic job
Well I’d give anything to be in your position...
at least you can put up a good fight...
us employed guys just have to pay up or piss off
What do you mean?
Well, I love my kids, like my job, most of the time...
but I’m not sure I can face this CSA stuff for the next 14 years...
they’ve cleaned me out and left me with a black cloud...
which follows me everywhere...
between fighting to get access to my kids...
and struggling to arrest criminals...
paying them is all I can think about...
I’ve been having some dark thoughts
Like blowing up their office?
No!
that would just make more work for me...
I’ve been dreaming of America or...
maybe even ... leaving the planet
WEIGHTS BAR CLANGS
You don’t wanna do that, just be more work for your mates at the station
You’re right, they wouldn’t thank me for that, we can’t even cope now
No illegitimi carborundum
What the hell’s that?
It's Latin, means don’t let the bastards grind you down
It’s like being mugged by the state
Well just don’t do anything stupid
or at least wait till your gym membership expires.
GENTLE MUSIC
Daddy, are you doing homework?
Sort of, it’s grown ups' homework
bit like yours but much more difficult
What subject is it?
It’s something I have to prepare for the government...
Some information they need, difficult to explain really
What’s the CSA?
Well...
long, long ago...
there were good dinosaurs like Steggy, who were vegetarian and very friendly
and there were big bad dinosaurs, with huge feet...
that went around treading on everyone and causing havoc...
the CSA or Crushasurus are like the bad dinosaurs...
they've escaped from a zoo near Dudley and are looking for people to eat!
but we've got Steggy to protect us
So does that mean they’re not real?
No, just a bunch of captive, angry monsters!
Because someone from the CSA rang you last night when you were out...
I forgot to tell you
One of them must have escaped! Did he leave a message?
No, just asked me to tell you the CSA had phoned
OK
well, if he rings again, ask him for his name
Is there anything I can help you with?
I wish you could, I wish somebody could...
but now, it’s bedtime for dinosaurs...
and don’t forget to brush your teeth
Goodnight dad
I’ll be up to tuck you in.
HAPPY MUSIC
SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC
F**K!
You’re calling the Child Support Agency...
to allow us to assist you, press the star key twice...
if you are a parent with care or a non-resident parent, you will be...
asked to enter the 6 numbers as they appear on your case reference...
please be aware that all calls are monitored and may be retained...
for the benefit of customers and staff in sensitive situations...
for security and staff training...
please hold the line while you are connected with a case worker.
Child Support Agency, Wendy speaking
Hi, I was speaking to John previously, is he around?
Does anyone know a John here?
Never heard of him
Hello Mr.Bradley, I think John has left for the day, can I help you?
I was speaking to John about my situation...
I’ve just got a letter from you and it’s threatening to send me to prison...
if I don't pay maintenance
but this is madness, I’m providing a great home for 2 kids...
what you should be doing is helping me keep all the boys together here...
what’s prison going to solve? You’ll have to put them in care...
and pay for that...
I won’t be earning a penny while I’m inside...
so she still won’t get her money, this just defies common sense!
I can see a letter was sent out to you last Tuesday...
after you failed to pay the parent with care
but I’m also a parent with care and she only has one child...
I've got twice as many, hello! Can you hear me?
Yes Mr. Bradley, I can hear you loud and clear...
the best thing is to write to us with any additional information...
not included in the calculation
But I’ve already done that, and no one is listening to me!
I’m sure everything you’ve sent to us...
has been read and included in the calculation
I want to come and see someone, face to face, this just can’t be right
Certainly...
I can arrange a meeting for you, we currently have...
a six month waiting list, we’re looking at ... January next year
6 months, but this letter is giving me 7 days to pay!
In 6 months I’ll be banged up in some grubby prison cell somewhere...
probably sharing with a real criminal and shitting in the corner!
DIALLING TONE
Hello?
DIALLING TONE
Hello?
DIALLING TONE
Bitch has hung up on me!
PHONE RING
YES!
Oh hi, I’m Jenny, I was given your name by a friend...
we’re looking for a photographer for our wedding in September...
the 15th, are you available?
Maybe...
Probably...
Yes and no...
I'm sorry to be so vague...
I know you need a definite answer...
right now I’m not taking any long term bookings...
probably best if you find someone else, sorry
Can you recommend anyone else?
Umm ... leave me your number and I’ll have a think
OK, my number is 021 7352183...
you won’t forget?
No, I won’t forget, I promise
Thanks
bye bye.
Are you eating with us tonight?
I sure am, thank you
PHONE RINGS
Hello
Hi Julia, it’s Ben
Ben, you’ve actually phoned, I don’t believe it!
Actually it’s not entirely a social call...
I didn’t say when we bumped into each other but ...
I do have a small childcare problem...
and I was wondering if I could pick your legal brain?
Well...
my area of expertise is really fraud but you’re welcome to any...
free range family law brain cells I can muster, what’s the problem?
After the initial shock of becoming a single parent...
it was all going really well...
still is really, getting better and better...
but I’ve had demands from the Child Support Agency ... for money
Money for who?
For my ex, seems Jamie, the one child she has, trumps my two...
I’m expected to pay her hundreds of pounds a month...
That doesn’t seem logical
That’s what I told them
What did they say?
Oh, they’ve been really understanding, offered to put me up...
in one of Her Majesty’s hotels if I don’t pay up
What? You mean they would actually send you to prison?
we need to meet up, coffee tomorrow, 6 ish?
Great, I’ll bring the ransom note, bye.
What’s that?
It’s my new mobile phone, mobile office really...
it’s brilliant, I can take work bookings anywhere...
I think they might really catch on...
don’t worry, It’s switched off
You look awful, have you slept at all this week?
Not since I got this letter...
what’s your hourly rate for stuff like this?
Won’t be cheap...
at least a large black coffee for a start
2 coffees please, 1 black 1 white
I’ve been looking into the CSA...
and penalties for non-payment...
If you don’t pay, they do have the authority to demand a court hearing...
and if the judge is not satisfied you are paying your share...
based on the CSA calculations, as the absent parent...
yes, you could be given a custodial sentence
Bloody hell!
so I really could be banged up...
even though I’ve got the kids to look after?
I know Ben, it just doesn’t make sense
Thank you
locking me up isn't going to solve anything...
anyone would think I’m a child molester...
It’s just another kick in the teeth for my boys...
they’ve already lost their mother...
what if they lose me too?
seems there’s bugger all I can do about it...
where do I go from here?
Well, the first thing you can do is appeal against their decision...
I’m not confident this will sort it out...
but it will certainly put the brakes on things...
give you some breathing space...
right now, the law is not on your side...
but many a legal battle has been won by people like you...
people challenging the law...
and I’m going to help you, OK?
Thanks
Have you contacted your MP?
No
I didn’t think they would bother with trivial domestic problems like this...
do you think it's worth a shot?
It certainly is. Who is you MP?
I can’t remember, but I know it’s a blue one...
won’t be rushing to help me fight their policies
You might be surprised and it’s certainly the next thing to do...
if you want to challenge the CSA’s decision
I’ll try anything
Good, I’ve got to go...
appeal against the decision today and write to your MP tomorrow, promise?
Will do
Let me know how you get on.
Excuse me, do you have a pen I can borrow?
Thank you.
Dear Sir, I am writing to you in response to your recent letter...
I wish to appeal against your decision...
threatening me with a prison sentence...
for not paying the maintenance the CSA has calculated.
Why are you all dressed up dad?
I’m going to see a very important man today
Who is he?
He’s called an MP, means Member of Parliament
Is he a nice man?
I hope so
Can I straighten your tie?
Of course you can...
thank you...
I’ll see you after school.
KNOCKS ON DOOR
Come in...
Leave the plants for a few days and the central heating suffocates them...
I should have cacti here really...
anyway, do take a seat Mr ... err ... Bradley
Thank you
So, how can I help you today?
I sent you a letter, did you get a chance to read it?
Yes I did, I have your letter here Mr Bradley...
I’m very glad you’ve come to see me, must be quite a worry...
can I just clarify, you are legally divorced...
you care for two of your children...
and your ex-wife cares for one of them?
That’s correct
And the CSA is asking you to help maintain the child...
who doesn’t live with you
Yes...
the big problem is their calculation...
it doesn’t allow for my living expenses, childcare costs and variable income...
I can’t pay it...
and even if I could, it’s just morally wrong
As you probably already know the Child Support Agency...
was launched last year, personally I think it’s a very good thing...
in principle...
but like so many of these new benefit schemes...
it can take a while to sort out some of the teething problems...
maybe you need to go to the CSA and see them, face to face
If only!
I’ve been trying to get to see them to discuss it for weeks...
but they’re like some faceless organisation...
just keep sending salvos of threatening letters...
and phoning me all the time...
now they’re threatening to send me to prison...
for God’s sake, I’m not a criminal!
Unfortunately...
I can’t influence the way the CSA calculates your maintenance payments...
but does seem to me on balance, if you're caring for two children...
then their welfare must be the first priority...
locking you up would certainly not help them...
and could indeed achieve very little...
I’m going to write to the minister concerned and see what he has to say...
I’ll ask him to contact you directly
Thank you...
much appreciated
I’ll do my best.
Yes!
ENERGETIC MUSIC
LONELY MUSIC
Thank you for your letter received 28 April 1994...
seeking to appeal to the Child Support Appeal Tribunal...
Regulation 4 of the Child Support Appeal Tribunal...
such declaration shall dispose of the purported appeal...
The Tribunal Chairman has made such a declaration in your case...
the declaration is set out overleaf...
there is no right of appeal against it.
Signed, Mr. Bloody Unreadable Squiggle
DESOLATE MUSIC
SPLASH
DESOLATE MUSIC
I’d been thinking about Liam’s CSA solution...
moving away to somewhere they couldn’t reach me, like Australia...
that would be far enough away for sure...
my boys would love the hot dry weather, outdoor life...
and amazing opportunities...
whilst I could easily tolerate their kangaroo steaks and ice cold beer...
surely a few venomous spiders and some great white sharks...
would be a better option than the CSA?
the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to do it.
It isn’t! ... It is!
It isn’t!
Dad, we’re playing countries and Scott says Antarctica...
isn’t a country beginning with 'A'
It’s not, you can’t have it!
Well, Antarctica is actually a continent, not a country...
but you could have Australia, which is both a country and a continent...
let’s see what you know about Australia...
I think it’s a long way away
It’s sunny and it never rains
they have these kooola bears with fluffy ears
all the boys are called Bruce
and all the girls are called Sheila
Would you like to live there?
With you?
Of course!
What about mum, will we still see her?
I don’t see why not, she could spend her holidays down under
Down under what?
It’s a nickname for Australia...
because it’s in the southern hemisphere...
and looks likes it’s down there, under all the other countries
When are we going? I need to pack!
Wait up!
First I have to ask the nice people of Australia if they want us to come...
Now, off to bed...
and don’t tell your mum...
I would like it to be a surprise
OK.
Here we go...
Australian migration eligibility for UK citizens...
seems pretty simple...
I get points for speaking English, more points for having a degree...
I just need 100 points to escape from this CSA nightmare...
shouldn’t be too difficult...
let’s see...
20 ... 36 ... 61...
73 ... 98 points
Bugger! just 2 points short!
surely they’ll overlook 2 measly points.
AUSTRALIAN MUSIC
Ozzies are really laid back, surely when they meet me they will smile and say...
“Two points under, no worries mate, welcome to Australia Ben”
AUSTRALIAN MUSIC
I’ve always dreamt of living in Australia
Well let’s see how your points stack up for starters
WAITING ROOM MUSIC
146
WAITING ROOM MUSIC
156
Excuse me, are you 156?
G’day...
I’ve filled in your form...
I’m just a couple of points short of the entry quota...
I was hoping to talk to you about what I can offer your country
Problem is your age...
you’re over 30...
don’t know any way of changing that, do you?
Not really
You see, this isn’t a guide...
it’s our Aussie rules...
maybe they will change in the future but right now it’s ruling you out...
only way you can get to live in Australia is if we need your skills...
what do you do?
Photographer, freelance
Crikey mate, we’re overrun with them right now...
if you can do something useful like lay 600 bricks a day...
or fix air conditioning...
sign here, otherwise, sorry mate
157
AUSTRALIAN MUSIC
WEIGHTS CLANG
Hi Ben...
how’s it going?
It’s not...
The CSA are threatening to send me to prison for non-payment
Blimey! That’s a bit over the top!
too right, I need to do something drastic...
I decided to try and emigrate, take the boys to Australia...
10,000 miles between me and the Child Abuse Agency
And
They rejected me...
seems I’m 1 year too old...
only want people under 30...
Shit ... You know what you did wrong?
they only let you in if you’ve actually been in prison...
years ago they sent you to Oz for stealing a bread roll...
what you going to do now?
I finally got to see my MP he seems very sympathetic...
he’s going to write to the minister responsible for all this CSA chaos...
reckons he can make him see sense about my situation
I wish you luck, they’re sucking so much out of my wages...
just not worth me working any more, every spare penny goes to her...
I really miss the kids, even the school things I didn’t enjoy...
parents’ evenings, school play...
being told my son had been in a fight...
missing it all now.
CRAWLING SOUNDS
Who’s that dad?
That’s Ruth, the bride...
and her new husband, Peter...
I take the photos and make them a nice album, to remember the wedding
Did you take the photos at your wedding?
No, I was too busy fiddling with rings and things...
a friend took them
Steggy wants to know if we are we still going to Australia?
Well...
I went to see an Australian man, in London...
and he doesn’t think they have room for us...
so Steggy, you’re going to have to carry on eating children in England...
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr
DOOR BELL RINGS
Morning
Don’t think there’s any bills there today
I don’t actually mind the bills!
It’s the envelopes postmarked CSA Dudley I’m allergic to
I can always feed them to the dog next door if you want?
I don’t dislike the dog that much!
EXPECTANT MUSIC
Dear Mrs. Bradley?
I am writing to you in respect of a letter I received...
from Norman Pilkington MP...
as I understand it, you currently have care of 2 children...
from your marriage and the absent father has care of one child...
you'll be pleased to know that the Child Support Agency’s...
calculation of maintenance payments is legally enforceable...
and the agency will do everything in its power to ensure...
the payments are made to you promptly.
I have contacted the Child Support Agency, Dudley...
and requested that they prioritise your case...
I hope the matter is resolved to your satisfaction.
Mrs. Bradley!
I don’t believe it...
I just don’t believe it!
THUD,THUD,THUD
Hi Julia, me again...
have you got time for another coffee, cake and...
crap letters from the CSA session?
Same place, same time?
I’ll be there.
A cappuccino please...
saw these and thought of you, for all your help
Thank you Ben...
Martin really will think there’s something going on between us
Sorry, I binned it
Some crossed wires here...
did you get a copy of the letter sent by your MP to the minister?
No, but he definitely knew I was a man
This is shocking!
could you bear to go and see him again?
I don’t think so...
he was one of Thatcher’s nearest and dearest...
this doesn’t surprise me
Thanks
I’m not giving up yet...
there is something else we can try
like a magician with a bloody great magic wand?
It’s called a judicial review
What’s one of them?
Basically, it’s your last resort...
in simple terms, It’s a legal action you or any citizen...
can take against a public body...
like the CSA...
if you feel they are treating you unlawfully or unfairly
Well they’re certainly doing that...
it sounds complicated
It’s not too bad...
initially, there’s a form to fill in...
stating why you’ve got a case against the CSA...
and it’s something I can help you with...
I’ll scatter a few legal terms here and there...
to make them sit up and pay attention
I guess I haven't got anything to lose
And remember, attack is the best form of defence
you need to challenge this whole premise which underlies this system...
why should you be cited as the absent parent? She left you!
and it strikes me that it’s encouraging women to leave their partners...
knowing full well that they can then claim absurd amounts of money
Well, maybe
I’ll nip back to the office, get you a form and drop it in later...
you need to instigate stage 1...
which is a claim to the administrative court...
we need to act quickly, there’s a time limit on these things...
I've got to go, big case tomorrow, need to prepare.
GENTLE MUSIC
You know, I really appreciate your help, I’m sinking fast
Stick with it Ben, and let me know what your MP says
Will do, and thanks for the coffee
I thought you'd paid for it?
PURPOSEFUL MUSIC
Hello
Hi Julia...
Judicial review silly question time...
is now ok or shall I call you back?
Now is fine, just doing some homework
This is heavy stuff!
it says it’s little old me against the Queen
Oh don’t worry about that...
The Queen has about as much to do with English law as Freddie Mercury
Now, I should know this...
but who is the claimant and who is the defendant?
You better get that one right...
you are the claimant...
and the CSA, spell it out in full, is the defendant
It’s asking me for the claimant’s counsel details
That would be me...
but...
you had better leave that one blank for now I think
That’s all for now, I’m sure there will be more
When you’ve finished, fax it over and I’ll have a look
Will do, I’ll send it over later tonight.
PURPOSEFUL MUSIC
Hi Julia, bit of a nightmare but I’m getting somewhere with it now
PURPOSEFUL MUSIC
Wondered how much I should write for...
PURPOSEFUL MUSIC
Yes, just got a couple of more questions for you
PURPOSEFUL MUSIC
Sorry, you must be getting sick of the sound of my voice by now
PURPOSEFUL MUSIC
No, no, getting closer now...
PURPOSEFUL MUSIC
Thanks you’re the best, I’ll send it over
PURPOSEFUL MUSIC
FAX MACHINE WHIRRING
PURPOSEFUL MUSIC
FAX MACHINE PRINTING
PURPOSEFUL MUSIC
DOOR CLOSE, CLICK
CAR PASSING
LONELY MUSIC
DOORBELL SOUNDS
Morning...
Says please do not bend on here...
I was going to roll it but it looks a bit too important
Pete, you are too kind...
I think I’m going to recommend you for a promotion
Put me on the stamps instead of Liz...
Have a good day
I’ll try my best...
might depend on what’s in this big boy!
DOOR CLOSE
HOPEFUL MUSIC
In the matter of an application for Judicial Review...
The Queen versus CSA, ex parte Benjamin Bradley...
leave to apply for a Judicial Review...
of the Child Support Appeal Tribunal is...
Granted!
YES!
They’ve said yes!
SAID YES!
YES! YES! YES!
OPTIMISTIC MUSIC
Hi, can you put me through to Julia Jones in legal please?
PHONE RINGING
Hello
Hi, it’s Ben...
I'm sorry to ring you at the office...
but just had to tell you that I’ve been given leave to apply...
for a judicial review of my case against the CSA...
I can’t believe it! We did it, someone is finally listening to me!
Brilliant! But, before you break out the champagne...
you have to remember this is only the first stage of the process...
does it say how long you have got before you have to apply for the next stage?
Umm...
Should be in notes for the applicant at the bottom
Got it, 14 days
OK Ben...
If you are going to continue with the action...
you are going to need serious legal representation...
the CSA will have the best barrister in the land...
laid on by the government...
and whilst I'd dearly love to see this through with you to the end...
because I work for customs & excise, another government department...
I can’t be seen to be helping you...
conflict of interests and all that...
but I’ll be there to hold your hand and advise you...
but unofficially
I understand...
I hadn't thought of that...
yes of course...
this is heavy stuff I guess...
have you any idea what it might cost me?
Well...
if you win, nothing...
and you could even be reimbursed some costs, but...
If you lose, it’s a piece of string...
a top flight barrister is going to cost you...
anything from £400 upwards an hour
An hour? That’s unbelievable!
it’s more than I earn some months!
Then there's court costs, It could be over in a few days...
but it could drag on for months, costing thousands...
and you are going to have to do some serious financial planning...
because if the judge does rule against you...
there are strict guidelines as to when you have to pay by
Right now I‘m still recovering from the divorce settlement...
the piggy bank is running on empty...
I’m gonna have to give it all some serious thought
OK Ben, let me know what you decide
Will do, bye, bye.
REFLECTIVE MUSIC
Hi Liam, it’s Ben
Hi there, are you ringing from your prison cell?
Not quite
Are you going to the gym tonight?
I could do with a dose of your Irish wisdom Liam
Just about, my membership expires in a few weeks and can’t afford to renew it..
see you usual time?
I might just go straight to the pub
Catch you later.
Yes sir?
Hi, whisky please
OK, which one do you want?
Whichever is the strongest
just £1.20 please
CASH TILL, COINS RATTLE
TILL DRAWER CLOSED
Thank you.
I see your on the hard stuff...
I hope it’s Irish
Right now, I wouldn’t care if it was Japanese!
Let me get you a drink ... usual?
Why not?
Pint of Guinness please
It’s a bit lively, I’ll bring it over
OK, thanks.
It’s just settling
Wish I was...
never been so unsettled in my life...
those bastards are sucking megabucks from my wages...
and my ex won’t even let me see the kids...
I used to wonder why men carried photos of their kids in their wallet...
I do the same now...
at least you see some of yours and know where you’re going
Yes ... prison!
They look after you in there...
3 meals a day, regular exercise, TV...
and if you ask them nicely...
they may even let you take your camera to help pass the time
And if I ever get out...
no kids, no business and tarnished for life...
anyway, there’s some light at the end of this long dark CSA tunnel
and what would that be?
I have a friend, Julia Jones, she’s a barrister for the customs & excise
Jesus, you have some friends in strange places don’t you?
she’s been really supportive, got me to apply for a judicial review of the CSA
it’s like a last resort for when you just can’t...
bang your head against a government wall anymore
and you want me to represent you in court?
Not quite...
you see it could all get really expensive
Damn, I knew I left my cheque book at home for a reason!
No, no, no...
I’m not after borrowing money...
at least not from you...
I’ve got options...
I could re-mortgage the house, again...
I could sell the house and move to a smaller flat...
but that would all take weeks
the problem is if I lose the case
I’m still liable for the CSA payments...
or, prison...
and I just don’t know who will look after the boys
But there’s maybe another option
I’m all ears
Well, I don't know of any other single parent father...
being threatened with prison for doing a good job...
of looking after their children...
frankly, it beggars belief...
what about trying to sell your story to a left wing newspaper...
Daily Mirror, Guardian, there’s loads of them...
offer them exclusive rights to the story...
in return for them paying for your court costs...
The publicity might also highlight the problems of all the other fathers...
making these ransom payments and not getting to see their children
You’re a bloody genius!
That’s a brilliant idea, why didn’t I think of that?
Well, you know what they say...
When you're lost, ask a policeman
GLASSES CHINK
I’ve got 2 weeks to sort it, I’ll hit the phone in the morning.
Directory Enquiries?
London
Can I have the number for the Daily Mirror please?
Good morning, I have a story which might interest you
I believe you syndicate stories to national newspapers?
I’m trying to sell a story about a single parent
fighting the Child Support Agency
Yes, the Guardian newspaper
Can I speak to your features editor please?
The children are 5 and 6, both boys
I have a great story you might be interested in
Bradley, B R A D L E Y
Yes, exclusive to your paper, photos and everything
The CSA, it’s the Child Support Agency
Yes, prison if I don’t pay up, I know, it’s unbelievable!
I'm asking you to underwrite all the court costs
Yes, I know it’s a big ask
You need to discuss it with your editor, sure
That’s right, little old me in the High Court...
against the government’s Child Support Agency
Sorry, wrong number...
no, I don’t need any Chinese food, thank you
At this stage, I don’t know the court costs...
guess it could be thousands
It’s not your decision alone, ok
No, I’m not a single parent mother...
I’m a man!
A single parent father...
yes I know it’s unusual
You'll print the story but aren’t prepared to support the court case
Thanks for ringing back...
No, I haven’t spoken to any other papers...
you’re the first!
I’ve already rung you about this, sorry, bye
No, I’m not actually familiar with your publication’s political views
The whole thing is just morally wrong
I’m not trying to make money out of this...
just pay my legal costs
You don’t pay for stories...right
Thanks for letting me know anyway
If I go ahead with the court case...
I have to notify them the day after tomorrow
Is there any chance of a decision within the next day or two?
When could you get back to me?
You’ll definitely run the story and pay for it if I go to prison...
I'll have to think about that one!
GATE OPENED
THOUGHTFUL MUSIC
Good morning
Hi
I was just locking up...
it seems church candlesticks have become very collectable
Oh, it doesn’t matter...
I was just passing...
I’ll pop in another time
Well...
don’t rush off, we’re not like pubs...
we have bells but there’s no last orders
Thank you.
THOUGHTFUL INTRO MUSIC TO SONG
Once I believed in fairytales and miracles and us...
'til you taught me these were foolish dreams...
and all things pass and turn to dust...
at the end of the rainbow there's no pot of gold...
just a bucket of rust, beyond repair...
now all we share are memories and a name...
I think we were happy then.
You know you can stay as long as you like, I can lock up later
Thank you Father
I’m not actually a Father...
if you want a Catholic priest...
the one with the little box, then...
that’s the other church, a few miles down the road
Sorry...
I should know that...
the amount of time I spend working around churches
You know, underneath these fancy clothes...
we’re just ordinary people...
and we’re good at listening...
would it help to share your troubles?
Thank you...
but I’ve been sharing my nightmare with too many people...
for too long...
making my problem theirs...
I ...
CRYING
PHONE RINGING
Hello?
Hi it’s Ben, I’m in town...
are you having a lunch break today?
I wasn’t planning to, but we need to catch up, where are you?
On a bench, near the church...
you’ll see my mobile office attached to my ear
OK,
I just need to make a quick call and I’ll be down
Hi!
how’s it going?
It’s not
So, no luck with the judicial review?
I couldn’t raise the money to continue with it...
If I’d lost the case...
I’d have lost my house...
my boys...
my cameras...
everything
Oh, Ben...
I’m so sorry...
I really thought you had a good case...
but the law’s a funny thing...
and the innocent party doesn’t always win...
you’ve probably made the right decision...
what are you going to do now?
Nothing
Is that an option?
It’s just about my only option...
I can’t pay the money!
and I just can’t fight this...
Child Abuse Agency any more...
I’m just going to unplug the phone...
throw all their letters in the bin...
and wait for the day when they come to arrest me...
maybe that will get in the papers...
“Single parent arrested for being a good father”
I hate to leave you like this...
but I’ve got a meeting I dare not be late for...
I’ll ring you later...
I promise.
HISS OF AIR FROM PUNCTURED TYRE
Daddy!
And what have you two done today?
We’ve learnt French with Sophie
Vous avez a funny shape wheel
Thanks Scott...
I think maybe I can save that one
Can we help?
Of course you can
CAR JACK PUT DOWN
Now, before we jack it up...
we must first slacken off the wheel nuts...
or the wheel will just spin
You know it’s only flat on the bottom
That’s useful to know!
There ya go, don’t drive in the rain till you’ve read them
I promise
Err, the postman leave the letters behind the window scraper...
1, 2, 3 for you and 1 for me...
my parents, I can tell, smells of cakes!
OK ... Thanks
OMINOUS MUSIC
Dear Mr. Bradley...
in respect of the claim against you...
for maintenance of your son, Jamie Bradley...
who resides with Mrs. J. Bradley...
this is to advise you that Mrs. J. Bradley is now employed...
and the Child Support Agency...
will no longer be pursuing you for payments...
as a non-residential parent...
your details will be kept on file...
and if circumstances change in the future...
we reserve the right to re-open the case
Are you ok?
Yes
I’m ok
I’m more than ok!
This is the best letter I’ve ever received, in my entire life...
I may even frame it!
Excuse me, I must ring a friend
It’s good news week!
Are we going to Australia, dad?
No...
we’re all staying right here...
you, me, Scott, Sophie, Steggy
PICKS UP PHONE AND DIALS
PHONE RINGING
Come on, pick up!
PHONE RINGING
Hi Liam, I’ve got some great news, are you around tonight?
Drinks are on me!