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WOMAN: ♪ Oh, the ♪
♪ shameless witch is dancing ♪
♪ Oh, the shameful fairy lies and gossips ♪
♪ Oh, the demon there will shake with rage ♪
(engine revving)
♪ Deep beneath his pillow ♪
♪ Don't disturb me. ♪
Hmm?
-(chuckles) -(engine revving)
(horns blaring, honking)
(horn blares)
(tires screech)
(grinding)
(splattering)
(birds chirping)
(engine clicking quietly)
(baby cooing softly)
-Did you enjoy our fun outing? -(coos)
Good, because we're here now.
You'll like it here.
Every room is spick-and-span
with tons of sunshine from all the huge windows.
And their shepherd's pie is really good.
Listen. You have to stay here for now.
You mustn't go anywhere else.
And the rest is up to you, okay?
Earwig.
-(Earwig crying) -(doors opening)
(scoffs) At this time of the morning?
(gasps) My word!
Goodness!
Oh.
You're all right, little one.
There, there, don't cry.
Yes, that's a good girl.
Hmm?
It looks like this is a note from whoever left the baby.
"Got the other 12 witches all chasing me.
"I'll be back for her when I've shook them off.
"It may take years.
Her name is Earwig."
"Earwig"?
If it's true that this child's mother
has associated with 12 witches,
then it follows she must also be a witch.
I wonder what she might have done
to anger all the other witches in her coven.
Witches, is it? Bunch of rubbish!
Perhaps this means that little child is a witch as well.
What?
(Earwig laughing)
Nonsense!
There are simply no such thing as witches.
Right?
This is your home now.
She called you Earwig?
The bug that burrows in your ear?
Let me see now.
A name like Earwig will not do.
Matron, are you all right?
Hello, everyone.
Welcome our newest.
Her name is Erica Wigg.
Say hello.
(giggles)
(Earwig laughing)
MATRON: Well, well,
aren't you in a good mood.
(women laughing)
♪ ♪
(children giggling)
(child shushes)
♪ ♪
(child grunting)
(gasps)
(children moaning like ghosts)
(barking)
What is it, boy?
(gasping)
(gasping): Oh. Oh.
(gasping)
(screams)
(man and dog whimpering)
Oh, let's go! Oh, blimey.
Hey! Don't run away. C-Come back here, boy!
(children laughing)
CUSTARD: Let's not do this, Erica.
If we get caught, we're going to be in big trouble.
EARWIG: Well, then, we'll just
have to make sure that we don't.
Yes.
All right, let's go.
I really hate getting yelled at.
Silly boy.
Chances like this don't come along every day.
Come on.
Um, can I just wait out here?
Sure.
If you think you've got the courage, go right ahead.
(Earwig chuckles)
-(wind howls softly) -(gasps)
No, Erica!
Wait for me!
(Earwig giggles)
W-What?
What if, instead of a bell in the tower,
we find a severed head inside it
swinging back and forth, back and forth?
That'd be fun.
No, it would not.
(laughing)
Then, with his eyes wide open, it slowly turns around...
(both gasp)
...and just stares at us.
And then, all of a sudden, the head's mouth opens!
(screaming)
Can't hear you!
Oh, you. Relax, Custard.
What's a scaredy-cat like you going to do
if we get invaded by Martians?
I read that Martians are friendly to humans.
It said so in a Heinlein book.
I bet they're going to put you in a full nelson
when they grab you with their eight arms,
and then it'll be game over for you.
See you next lifetime.
Martians don't have eight arms. They have three.
(scoffs) Three or eight-- who cares, Custard?
(gasps) Oh, wow!
This is the best...!
Shush! Somebody'll hear you.
Hey, it's the others.
A ghost party in the cemetery. Classic.
Not a soul knows that you and I are up here.
Isn't this fun?
Look! Over there!
That's a ship, isn't it?
CUSTARD: You're right.
It looks like a spaceship.
It's so fancy.
I wish I was on it.
Uh, Erica?
You haven't ever wanted a family of your own
or to live somewhere other than here, have you?
Nope.
Hmm. Not at all.
Anybody who'd choose me would be pretty unusual,
but a normal family would be even worse.
I'd only have two or three people to do exactly as I want.
Six at most.
What fun would that be?
After all, everyone around here does what I say.
And it's totally spick-and-span.
We get plenty of sunshine 'cause the windows are huge.
And the shepherd's pie is really good.
(Custard grunting)
Don't worry. There's no chance anyone will choose you either.
But, um, a lot of people who visit here do like me.
Sometimes they even almost choose me.
(laughing)
♪ ♪
All right, now, this is important.
Don't forget to cross your eyes the way I taught you.
Am I clear, Master Custard?
(growls playfully)
(gasps)
Aye, aye, Captain!
(straining)
(both laughing)
♪ ♪
Thelma?
Thelma!
Yes. Welcome back, Matron.
Is something the matter?
Is there trouble at your home?
Why would anything be wrong?
While at the station,
I ran into our neighbor, Mr. Jenkins.
He said, last night, the children were dressed as ghosts.
Oh, dear. Last night?
MATRON: Did you notice anything strange?
THELMA: No, I was totally unaware.
Perhaps the ghosts he saw were real.
Nonsense!
EARWIG: Excuse me, Matron.
It was me he saw.
-What? -(gasps)
Hey, Custard, you should go now.
(Custard grunts softly)
Erica, what on earth do you mean?
This afternoon, someone is going to be adopted, aren't they?
So I decided to hold a farewell party.
Actually, I was going to invite you, too.
After all, even the thought of saying goodbye to you is...
painful.
Sorry. Did I take things too far?
Oh, Erica. Such a sweet child.
Yes, dear, perhaps a little too far,
but you could be selected today.
It's a mystery to me
why a child as sweet and adorable as you
never seems to be the one chosen.
(both sigh)
(sobs softly)
Oh. That's right.
It almost slipped my mind.
This is for you.
I know you've wanted it for a while now.
(gasps) Is it a sweater?
(shushes)
Don't let the others know.
Right. Not a word.
Oh, I'm the happiest child this home has ever had!
Thanks, Matron! I love you!
-My goodness. -Uh, excuse me, Matron.
What do we say to Mr. Jenkins?
Ghosts are common in cemeteries.
You can tell him that.
Matron, let me carry this for you.
-But isn't it too heavy? -(Earwig grunts)
-Not at all. -What a nice gesture.
Nonsense!
♪ ♪
Oh, Erica. Well?
Uh, it's all done.
I fixed your letter and it's already in the post.
You'll probably get a terribly romantic reply tomorrow!
-(squeals) -Oh, my gosh!
-Yay! (squeals) Brilliant! -I'm so nervous!
-(girls laughing) -(sniffing)
Hey, are we having shepherd's pie for lunch?
COOK: It's the young lady
with the fine sense of smell.
Shepherd's pie, right?
It just has to be.
After all, your meat pies are
the absolute best in the entire world,
and they smell unbelievably divine.
(clears throat) Remind me, who's the head cook again?
Why, Erica, of course.
Oh, no, it couldn't be me,
because I don't have a big belly like this one here!
(grunts)
-You might want to go on a diet. -(chuckles)
(scoffs) Why in blazes do I put up with this?
If you want to know what I'm making,
you'll have to wait until lunchtime.
(chuckles)
You're a great cook.
(both laughing softly)
-(bell tolling) -(woman gasps)
Look, he's watching us.
His eyes are almost twinkling.
Hello.
(child laughing)
(laughs) Sharing is very good.
Hmm, she's kind.
Ugh, disgusting.
(indistinct chatter)
(Custard gasps)
WOMAN: Oh, he's so cute, so adorable.
(chatter continues)
Those kids in there are actual living people.
They're not dolls.
Not ornaments for their viewing pleasure.
All they really want is for us to be
pretty little dolls on display.
Isn't that right, Custard?
-(doorbell buzzing) -(Custard gasps)
Yes, yes, one moment please.
Sorry to keep you waiting.
Uh, come in.
(stern clapping)
Come now, children, line up nice and neatly.
Big smiles now, everyone.
This way. They're in here.
-(Custard gasps) -EARWIG: Mm?
♪ ♪
Right. I'll introduce each one of them to you in order.
This is Maria Jimenez. She's eight.
You wouldn't think so to look at her,
but she's quite an energetic little girl.
-This is George McLay. -(quietly): Your face.
He loves trucks and bulldozers
-and other large vehicles. -(Earwig sighs)
And next is Christian Froom.
He's crazy about sports.
He says he wants to be a professional cyclist...
Huh?
...when he grows up. (laughs)
-Next is Aki Ricefield. -(crackling)
She's the oldest girl at this home
-and has a very caring nature. -(hissing, bubbling)
♪ ♪
(hissing and bubbling stop)
His parents were killed in a terrible fire.
What's worse is the fire was ruled suspicious.
Oh, such an unfortunate boy.
(Matron sobbing)
(stammers)
(chuckles)
Her name is Erica Wigg.
She's been living with us since she was just an infant.
Oh. Uh...
-Mandrake, what say you? -Huh?
What about her?
She should do.
(whimpers softly)
-We'll take this one. -Ah?
-EARWIG: No! -(gasps)
I'm not going!
What's come over you?
Erica dear, you know how everybody here just wants
to see you with a family that you can call your own.
But I don't want that. I want to stay with Custard!
I know change is hard, but these lovely people live
just a short stroll away from here
over on Lime Avenue.
You'll be able to come back and see your friends
whenever you want to.
-I'm sure of it. -(Earwig grumbles)
And when school starts again,
you'll be able to see Custard every single day. Oh.
If you wait in my office, I'll be with you shortly.
You should eat something.
If you don't, you'll be hungry later.
(sighs)
All right, get yourself ready.
We'll be waiting downstairs.
(door opens, closes)
Where'd this come from?
(groans loudly)
"Earwig"?
Hmm.
You take care.
Erica? (gasps)
(crying softly)
Erica?
(grunts) For the first time in my life,
I'm being made to do something I don't want to do.
I mean, how did I end up in this mess?
♪ ♪
EARWIG: Those are definitely horns.
(gasps)
(sighs)
(gasps)
(scoffs)
Fine. Challenge accepted.
♪ ♪
Number 13.
Hmm. No surprise there.
Ah, this is perfect.
I can run away whenever I want.
(gasps)
(quiet whooshing)
MANDRAKE: All right, then.
I got you what you wanted.
Now I don't want to be disturbed anymore. (sighs)
(Earwig gasps)
This is where you'll be sleeping.
Now then, let's you and I get a few things straight.
My name is Bella Yaga. I'm a witch.
I brought you to this house
because I need another pair of hands.
If you work really hard,
I shan't do anything to hurt you.
(door slams)
However, if you're lazy...
Great!
Hmm?
It's all right.
I didn't really think you looked like
an actual foster mother anyway. (grunts)
So, it's settled.
You agree that you'll teach me everything you know about magic,
and I agree to remain here and help you out.
(grunts)
Really? It's settled, then.
Into the shop with ya.
Roger!
(footsteps squishing)
(gasping)
♪ ♪
(panting)
(Bella Yaga laughing)
Here. Put this on.
Come along, girl.
You're not here to just stare.
If you don't like the way it is in here,
you can clean it up on your own time.
(Bella Yaga laughing)
(gasps)
Now, grind those rat bones into powder for me.
And be quick about it.
Hmm?
(shouts)
Wha...?
(groans)
In this household, there's one rule that's crucial.
Learn it straightaway. Got it?
You must on no account for any reason ever
dare disturb the Mandrake.
Um, the Mandrake?
You mean the man who lives here
and has two big horns on his head?
He doesn't have horns!
Well, not very often.
He tends to get those whenever he's been disturbed.
W-What else happens when he's disturbed?
(inhales deeply)
(shudders)
Well, awful, dreadful things.
If you're lucky, you'll never find out.
Now, you'd best get to work.
Hey, lady. What'll you be using this powder for?
Can you do magic with it?
Grind those bones till they're a fine powder.
Finer than flour, understand?
Hey, what kind of magic?
Who's this stuff for?
Is it you or the Mandrake?
More working and less talking, you idiot!
(groans, sighs)
Hmm?
(retches)
Wow! That's amazing!
Keep your hands moving like I told you to!
Good grief.
Looks like this one calls for a familiar.
Thomas! Time to work!
EARWIG: Crib notes?
(yowls)
(grunts, groans)
(gasps softly)
-(Thomas yowls) -(phone ringing)
(groans) Who is that?
(phone clicks)
Yes, hello?
EARWIG: Huh?
-Oh, madame. -Hmm?
Yes, this is Bella Yaga speaking.
It's been such a long time.
Ah. Of course.
Yes. Yes.
(gasps) Your grandchild?
Oh, I see. Mm-hmm.
"A Spell for Winning First Prize in a Dog Show"?
Yes, I understand.
The annual ballet recital.
A spell to get rid of the lead.
Is that correct?
-Ugh. -(laughs): Oh.
Please leave it to me.
"Making the Next-Door Neighbor's Dahlias
-Dry Up and Die" spell. -Indeed. (chuckles)
BELLA YAGA: And how many do you require?
EARWIG: "A Love Potion for the Boy Next Door"?
One? Very good.
Yes. Yes. Mm-hmm.
All of these seem pretty useless to me.
BELLA YAGA: I see. I see.
I shall bring it right away. Yes.
All right, then.
Have a wonderful day. (chuckles)
Thomas! Thomas!
If you don't do what you're told,
I'm going to give you worms.
Thomas!
Thomas! Thomas!
Thomas.
Magic, grant me the power.
Make the lady's dog Poppy reach the finals in the dog show
and win first prize.
-(shuddering) -(whimpering)
(Bella Yaga speaking foreign language)
(gasps)
(continues speaking foreign language)
-(grunts softly) -It smells like violets.
Quit gawking, you lazy girl.
-Huh? -We've got a mountain of work
that needs to be finished by tonight.
WEATHERMAN (over radio): As for South and Southeast Asia,
-New Delhi is sunny, -(gasps)
mostly clear with a low of 25 degrees
and a high of 40 degrees.
The humidity will hover around 90%,
so it will feel quite balmy.
BELLA YAGA: All right, let's see now.
(grunts)
What have the demons brought us to dine on today?
(newscast continues playing over radio)
MANDRAKE: Meat pie from
Stoke-on-Trent Station Buffet.
With chips.
Station pie.
I loathe station pie. (grunts)
(snorts, growls)
(gasps)
That is my favorite meal.
(sparks crackling)
I think station pie is great.
-Hmm? -Bless this food.
(snorting)
WEATHERMAN: ...and a high of 31 degrees.
There's a flood watch for low-lying areas.
Before I can make that lady obey me...
(grunts)
...I'm going to have to protect myself.
Hmm.
And if I can't stand it here anymore, I can always run away.
BELLA YAGA: Yes. It's an
essential item for an urgent order.
Sorry to put you out.
All right, I'm counting on you.
(gasps) Huh?
Where's the door?
♪ ♪
A novel?
Hmm. Mm.
What is this? It's total rubbish.
Maybe I should just rewrite it for him.
(grunts)
(groans)
-(squeaking) -(gasps)
(grunts)
(groans angrily)
(yelling)
(panting)
(squeaky laugh)
(panting)
All right. Next.
(retches)
(grunts) That stinks!
(panting)
(frustrated grunting)
"Earwig"?
(gasps loudly, sighs)
Huh?
♪ ♪
(gasping)
The door is gone.
(gasps)
-(window rattling) -(Earwig grunting)
(panting)
It's painted shut.
(whooshing)
Ugh.
I'm completely trapped in here.
This might be the first time I've ever slept by myself.
(birds chirping)
BELLA YAGA: Get up, you lazy beast!
(panting)
EARWIG: Just as I suspected.
I'm the only one who uses this bathroom.
Hmm.
(spits)
Hmm.
I guess this bathroom's mine.
(door opens, closes)
(yawns softly)
(food sizzling)
BELLA YAGA: Watch carefully.
In the future, I shall expect you to cook breakfast for us.
Sure.
Oh, where is it you sleep at night?
I can't seem to find the door to your bedroom.
You'll mind your own business if you know what's good for you.
And if I decide not to listen?
What then? Just what would you do?
(bell dings)
Well, then I'll give you worms.
Blue and purple ones that never stop wriggling.
You'll see. And they're large.
Remember that.
She's a witch who uses a washing machine?
Never mind your grumbling.
Hurry up now and get that basket filled up with nettles.
(grunts, gasps)
(grunting)
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
(grunting)
BELLA YAGA: There's no getting
out of here that way.
Why not?
It's because of the Mandrake.
He's got those demons guarding every way out.
That so? (chuckles)
(Bella Yaga laughing)
Basically, I need to find a way to get the Mandrake
to do whatever I want, along with her.
(grunting)
(blender whirring)
Hey, don't just stand there like that.
See to the chopping.
Hey, lady, what kind of spell is this gonna be for?
(frustrated grunt)
You just hurry up and finish that.
And we'll have a lesson after?
I have some bryony berries for you to grind when you're done.
-By hand. -By hand?
Finished. So, now will you teach me some magic?
Go out and pick some thistles from the backyard.
Be quick about it.
♪ ♪
Why does she always send me out here for prickly things?
All right, I picked some.
There aren't enough nettles in here.
Go pick some more.
(gasps) Again?
When are you going to teach me some magic?
What do you mean "again"? How dare you?
One more thing. Pick a basket full of raspberries, too.
-Get a move on! -Hmm.
(frustrated grunting)
(yawns)
The snakeskins are all cut up, 24 of them.
-Now will you teach me? -Go pick belladonna leaves.
120 will do.
Thomas!
(grunting angrily)
(sizzling)
(retches)
Wash all those with the others.
Those ones, too, yeah?
You can wash everything that's in the sink.
Everything. Got it.
(groans)
(gasps)
What are you gawking at? Hurry and finish your work.
Hey, could I have a go at doing that?
Never mind that.
Just go and do what you were told to do.
(phone ringing)
(Bella Yaga groans)
Hmm.
-(grunts) Yes, hello? -Okay.
WEATHERMAN: The weather in Jakarta will be clear today..
(groans softly)
That's it. I'm sick of this.
She has no intention of teaching me magic, not ever.
WEATHERMAN: Low will be 24 degrees
with a high of...
DEMON: You summoned me,
master? I'm here to serve.
Fetch me dishes.
Hmm, make them the Winterford ones.
As you wish, my master.
WEATHERMAN: ...warning has been issued
for low-lying areas.
(gasps)
Tonight, I want you to bring the fish and chips
that they make over at the Silver Hynes Pub.
By your command.
(whooshing)
WEATHERMAN: The low will be 13 degrees
-and the high 25 degrees. -(gasps)
(light switch clicks)
(groans) Why does magic have to smell so awful?
The Mandrake's got it so good.
(gasps softly)
♪ ♪
(gasps) Aha.
The only one who can control the demons
seems to be the Mandrake.
I guess I used to be a lot like the Mandrake with everyone.
I could eat what I wanted whenever I wanted.
(imitating Mandrake): "This evening,
you shall bring shepherd's pie from the children's home."
(imitating demon): "Aye, aye, Captain!"
(sighing)
I really miss Custard.
There's just so much I wish I could tell him.
(door creaks)
Hmm.
-(gasping) -(meowing)
Thomas?
(sighs)
She really works us hard, doesn't she?
You and I've got it really tough, don't we, Custard?
(meows)
Oh, sorry, I mean Thomas.
It's just that you kind of remind me of him.
(laughs)
("Don't Disturb Me" playing)
♪ Sweet and stagnant air ♪
♪ on a hot, hot summer night... ♪
-Wow! -(distressed meowing)
This is great, isn't it, Custard?
-I know. -(groans)
(over stereo): ♪ At a rumor going around ♪
♪ Makes the demon toss and turn ♪
♪ and stay away... ♪
Hey, Custard, take a good look.
(giggling)
(Earwig humming "Don't Disturb Me")
(spits)
Morning, lady. Nice day, isn't it?
BELLA YAGA: From today on, you'll be
hanging out the laundry.
EARWIG (sleepily): Twenty-three.
Twenty-four.
Twenty-five.
Twenty-four.
(groans softly)
Twenty-three.
(gasps) Where was I?
You better do it properly, or it's worms for you.
There's no reason that you can't count these yourself.
I'm rather far-sighted, you know.
You think I can see something so tiny?
Mm, Matron was exactly the same.
Enough of your idle chatter.
When you've finished counting the newt eyes, grains of salt
and millipede legs
and rhododendron seeds and mouse claws.
Count all of them.
If you slack off, it's worms for you.
("Don't Disturb Me" playing over stereo)
Good grief!
Worms, worms, worms, worms, worms is all she says!
Ah, bother! It's awful!
These don't look like horns. They look like donkey ears.
He doesn't look anything like that. (grunts)
I've got to start over.
(quiet whoosh)
(groans) It still isn't right.
(soft whooshing)
Huh?
(grunts)
-(soft whooshing continues) -Hmm?
Okay, now, what on earth is that?
That's the Mandrake.
(gasps)
Yeah, his den's just on the other side of the wall.
Hang on! You actually talk?!
Of course I do, just not very often.
Oh, you might want to stop drawing that.
I think it's beginning to disturb the Mandrake.
(grunts)
-(grunts) -(music stops)
(Earwig gasps)
Hey, do you know about spells?
Mm, well, I know a lot more than you do about spells.
I've seen you looking in that book of hers.
The spell I believe you're looking for
is somewhere towards the back.
I suppose I could show you where it is if you...
Yes, please!
But wait, I don't get it.
How can his den be on the other side of that wall?
It doesn't make any sense.
-Over there is the bathroom. -Yeah, I know.
This house is weird, but trust me, it's there.
-(Thomas exhaling) -Hmm.
You coming?
Huh?
(Earwig gasps)
(thunder rumbling)
(grunts)
Yucky!
Oh, shush. You can just lick them clean when we're done.
I'm not a cat.
Well, look what we have here.
Now use those thumbs of yours to flip from the back
and turn the pages till I say stop.
Look, this one is called "To Make a Plague of Worms"?
(Thomas whimpering, panting)
This one's "Unleash a Violent Thunderstorm
in Order to Spoil a Church Fete."
"A Spell to Make the City Buses Come on Time."
"A Spell to Preserve the Body from All Magic."
Wait, wait. That's the one.
"A Spell to Preserve the Body from All Magic."
If we can figure out how to use it,
it'll protect us from anything she tries to throw at us.
What?
Yeah, but, Custard-- wait, I mean Thomas--
this spell needs hundreds of ingredients to pull it off.
Well, every one of them is somewhere in this room,
and we've got all night to find them.
So, shall we begin?
All right, according to this,
you're gonna need plenty of powdered rats' bones,
a generous helping of newts' eyes,
and well-sliced toad for the first stage of the brew.
W-Whoa!
♪ ♪
Good. While you're getting those things ready,
you can start heating up the henbane.
Oh, good. Says you have to heat up
three hairs of a black cat's tail along with the plant.
Well, I'd appreciate it if you could
at least try to take them gently!
(groans)
Right. Now the belladonna.
That's the fourth bottle on the right.
Three drops in with the henbane. (stammers)
Three. Three drops.
♪ ♪
(thunder rumbling)
(Earwig grunting)
Now it says, "Position the familiar."
Well, that's easy. I'm already here.
"The familiar"?
What's that? (grunting)
A familiar is a cat or other animal who acts as
a sort of witch's assistant when casting a spell.
For a spell to work properly, the animal needs to be
close to the spell mixture at just the right moment.
(chuckles) Well...
(thunder rumbling)
...everybody knows the best animal for making a spell work
is a black cat.
Oh, yeah? Then why is it you're always running away?
'Cause I don't like the kind of spells she does.
They're disgusting.
They make me feel like I'm being stroked the wrong way.
Hmm? Oh, yeah.
One drop of rose elixir goes into the green mix now.
Okay, home stretch. "Get a large bowl.
"Gather all the ingredients, put them in the bowl,
then mix and say the words."
Well, what do I say?
Hmm?
It's not written there! What are the words?!
Calm down.
They'll be the usual words of magical binding.
I think I've probably heard her use about
-six different words or so. -(growls angrily)
You had better remember them, Custard!
Hmm? Huh?
(grunts) I mean Thomas!
After all the work I've put into this, go on!
Tell me all the words!
Every single one that you've heard!
(grunting)
All right. I'll say them, but only if you promise
to stop calling me that ridiculous name.
And then you've got to say them back to me
using exactly the same tone and inflection as me, okay?
You're the witch here, not me.
Right. Let's go.
(Thomas speaking foreign language)
(Earwig repeating words in foreign language)
(Thomas speaking foreign language)
(stammers)
-Meow. -(sighs)
(Earwig repeating words in foreign language)
Meow.
(Thomas speaking foreign language)
(Earwig repeating words in foreign language)
(sparks crackling)
(both speaking foreign language in unison)
(crackling, popping)
(Earwig and Thomas continue speaking in unison)
(whistling)
Wow.
(sniffs)
Smells of roses.
-(laughing) -What's wrong with you?
Nothing. It's just, it's just that
some of the things I was saying were just swearing
'cause I couldn't remember all the words.
(laughs, meows)
Well, I hope it's still gonna work.
Hey, what am I supposed to do now?
Just slather it all over my body?
Mm-hmm, but you better do me first.
I-I found the recipe,
and I worked every bit as hard as you did on this, you know.
Not just that.
I'm tired of her giving me those worms.
She does it to me every time she's annoyed with me.
Okay, that's fair.
(Thomas grunts, shudders)
(muffled grunting)
(groaning)
(groans)
This is terrible. I hope it soaks in eventually.
-(Earwig grunts) -Hmm?
You can turn around now.
What for?
(shivers)
(sighs) That's better.
Is this going to work?
It better work and work well.
I have no intention of ever going through all that again.
(groans)
I really don't want to do that again either.
(sighs)
BELLA YAGA: Get up, you lazy little beast!
The Mandrake wants his bacon and eggs,
and he wants them now!
Tell him to get one of his demons to do it.
BELLA YAGA: What was that?
EARWIG: I'm coming!
But let's be clear; I am not your slave!
BELLA YAGA: I don't care what you think. (scoffs)
(Mandrake growling angrily)
(angry growling continues louder)
(quietly): I've had enough of
being treated like a slave.
You'll get what's coming to you in the end.
Stop moping about.
Go outside and pick some nettles and hellebore.
(grunts, shivers)
(sighs)
I am sick of getting taken advantage of.
And now the weather's doing it?!
(demons giggling)
(Earwig grunting)
Yes, I'll get right to it.
Drat. Stupid customers.
Don't put those there.
I told you to put all the plants in the cauldron,
not the table.
Useless little beast!
And I told you I'm not your slave!
I agreed to assist you, and you agreed that you were
going to teach me everything you knew about magic.
But instead, all you've done is work me half to death!
I didn't agree to teach you.
I got you from St. Morwald's to be another pair of hands.
Well, then you're a cheat!
You told Miss Matron that you were gonna be my foster mother!
You promised!
(gasps)
(growling)
(gasps)
Foster mother indeed. (scoffs)
Now go and put more fuel under the cauldron.
And hurry!
If you don't do it, it's worms for you.
So, then, are you going to teach me magic or aren't you?
Of course I won't. Why would I bother?
You're nothing more than a spare pair of hands.
I see.
That settles it, then.
WEATHERMAN: In New Caledonia,
they're looking at warm conditions
-with clear skies. -(gasps)
Today's low, a mild 19 degrees. The high...
The orphanage's... shepherd's pie.
Hmm.
MANDRAKE: It's one of my favorites.
(gasps)
WEATHERMAN: Morning weather will be clear
with occasional clouds in the afternoon.
Low of 22 degrees.
The high, a comfortable 29 degrees.
Turning our attention now to North America.
-Anchorage is looking at rain -(Bella Yaga sighs)
with thunderstorms in the afternoon.
♪ ♪
Uh, do you ride a broomstick?
(scoffs) Certainly not.
All of my customers are very respectable.
They are the sort of people that belong to
Friends of the Earth and Mothers' Union.
If I flew into their neighborhood
on the back of a broomstick and one of the customers' neighbors
happened to see me, they would throw such a fit.
(gasps)
Now then, enough with your silly questions.
Finish your work by the time I return.
I want that floor so clean
that we can eat supper off it tonight.
(door whooshes shut)
(gasps softly)
Thomas!
Thomas! Where are you?
W-What's going on?
(yawns): I was having a nap.
The only time I get any peace is when she goes out. (gasps)
Yes, I know, but just help me for five minutes.
Think. What's a spell for giving someone an extra pair of hands?
Huh?
Great idea!
("Don't Disturb Me" playing over stereo)
(chuckling)
Hmm. Hmm.
Perfect. (giggles)
♪ Sensing a smelly fairy deep down on the side... ♪
THOMAS: The trickiest part of this
is gonna be the hair.
It says here we need to tie some of her hair around the doll.
Well, yeah, good luck with that.
There's no chance she's gonna let you touch her hair.
Trust me.
Don't worry.
I'll find a way to get some. You'll see.
That old bag-- it's always about an extra set of hands with her.
Well, I'll make sure that she gets some.
♪ With a soul as dark as mud... ♪
-(quiet sizzling) -(Mandrake growling)
(growling continues)
♪ Oh, the shameless witch is dancing... ♪
(turns down volume)
I'm sorry. Was it too loud for you?
(giggles)
I hope I didn't disturb your work.
(Mandrake grunts)
(gasps)
Thank you! I was starting to get hungry.
(scoffs)
-Uh, hey, mister. -Huh?
I'm curious. Are you a writer?
MANDRAKE: I am.
Wow, that's great!
C-Can I read your work?
Yes.
(Earwig gasps)
(grunting softly)
I wish I had thumbs. (grunting)
Now, I've got to find a good place to put these hands.
What do you think?
What about her elbows?
What about on her knees?
She's coming back! Quick!
-You have to hide it! -(gasps)
(grunting)
Oh.
(panting)
(grunting)
(Earwig humming "Don't Disturb Me")
What are you doing?
There's no singing in this house.
Where did you hear that song?
If you think this floor is clean enough,
you've got another think coming.
There'll be no supper for you unless you do better.
♪ ♪
I have to figure out
how I'm going to get ahold of some of her hair.
Now, where exactly is her bedroom in this house?
I know the Mandrake's room is located
on the other side of my bedroom wall.
(gasps)
Is this what I think it is?
THOMAS: No, that's a cat's claw vine.
You won't find her hair on the floor.
It just stays on her disgusting mess on her head.
(retches)
(groans)
(birds chirping)
-(door opens) -(footsteps approaching)
(grunts) Okay, that's a bit more like it.
Now off to your bedroom.
You'll have only bread and cheese for supper tonight.
Perhaps that'll teach you not to be so lazy in the future.
Hello?
Mr. Demon?
Hello?
Bother. Thought I might see one this time.
(sighs)
Mm. Oh, Mr. Mandrake, your writing is awfully boring.
Ugh, what a waste.
(muffled grunting)
(mouth full): I guess it's about Bella Yaga.
(muffled grunting)
I bet she's left at least some of her hair on her hairbrush,
so all I've got to do is find it.
(grunts)
Hmm.
(grunts)
I'm thinking that if the Mandrake's room
is situated just the other side of the bedroom wall,
(straining): then it stands to reason
Bella Yaga's room is there, too. (gasps)
(upbeat organ music playing faintly)
(gasps)
(grunting)
(frustrated grunt)
(gasps)
-(demons squeaking) -Whoa.
(upbeat organ music continues)
♪ ♪
(grunting)
♪ ♪
(demon whoops)
(gasps)
-(grunts) -(music stops)
Ah, bother!
This is not going to help me
get my hands on one of Bella Yaga's hairs.
Hmm.
(sighs, grunts)
I just don't understand magic.
I have to somehow get her to teach me about it.
(picture squeaks)
(heavy knocking)
BELLA YAGA: Wake up!
The Mandrake wants to have fried bread for breakfast today!
Hmm?
(gasps)
(grunts)
Hmm? (gasping softly)
(gasps)
It's her hair.
BELLA YAGA: What are you doing in there?!
Hurry it up!
Yes! Be right there!
You'll get what you deserve. (chuckles)
WEATHERMAN: In Seoul today,
it'll be clear in the morning
with scattered showers in the afternoon.
(steam hissing)
(whooshing)
(growling)
♪ ♪
(growling continues louder)
♪ ♪
What is this?
I made fried bread.
It's my first time.
Do you like it?
No!
Why didn't you teach her how to cook it correctly?!
Well, I, uh...
But all you do is fry it.
It's something a child could do.
Obviously, you're wrong.
Don't ever disturb me like this again!
DEMON: How may I serve my master today,
my vile and hideous master?
Don't be rude.
Take this away,
and then go to the scout camp in Epping Forest.
They always make fried bread there.
Now go fetch us some.
Yes, my ghastly master. It will be done as you said.
(demon whooping)
EARWIG (shuddering): Whoa! Whoa!
(gasping)
WEATHERMAN: Now for Oceania
and the South Pacific.
(Mandrake sighs)
In Sydney today, clear in the morning
with occasional light showers starting in the afternoon
and stretching into the early evening.
Huh?
A low of ten degrees and the high, a mild 20 degrees.
Hmm.
It's going to be chilly in Christchurch
with a low of...
How dare you? How could you even think of
disturbing the Mandrake like that?
You very nearly had me in terrible trouble with him.
(grunts) Well, maybe you should try teaching me things
once in a while instead of just
making me do stuff that I don't know.
(grunts angrily)
No pathetic excuses!
You are strictly here to work, you understand?
I need another pair of hands or paws or whatever.
Now get to work, you lazy beast!
Toilet break, please.
-Anything to annoy me, eh? -(whimpering)
Fine. Two minutes, then.
You know what'll happen if you're late coming back.
♪ Don't disturb me ♪
♪ You wait and see ♪
♪ You'll feel my curse's ferocity. ♪
(grunts)
(toilet flushes)
(Bella Yaga groaning)
(snickers)
♪ ♪
You wicked, ungrateful beast!
What have you done to me?!
(snickering)
(grunting)
(pained yelling)
(grunts, squeals)
(laughing)
What did you do?
Given you an extra set of hands.
Like you said you wanted, every day, all the time.
(laughs) You never shut up about it.
(growls angrily)
Now I'm going to give you worms!
(gasping)
(frustrated grunting)
Ow!
-(shuddering) -BELLA YAGA: You stay put!
The worms are coming!
(yowls)
(whimpering)
THOMAS: Oh, no, no.
We slathered that magic stuff all over us,
so we don't have to worry about her worms anymore.
Not the worms.
Not the worms. Not the worms.
(whimpering)
(gasps) Oh.
(sighs)
-Oh, no. (whimpering) -(sighs)
Nothing, huh?
(muffled shrieking)
-(gasps) -(doll shrieking)
(sighs)
Guess she was able to break the spell.
And after all that effort.
-(rumbling, crackling) -(gasps)
(gasps)
Hmm?
Just as I thought. Our spell worked perfectly.
The worms are all down on the floor and not doing us any harm.
(Thomas whimpering)
Why are you afraid?
Well, that's easy for you to say.
You're even worse than Custard.
(Thomas shudders)
Hmm.
Oh. Hang on.
Hey, Thomas, if the witch sees these worms
just sitting here, she'll know we protected ourselves.
Got to hide these.
(gasps)
♪ ♪
Isn't it funny how great ideas seem to come
right when you need them most?
THOMAS: (whimpers) W-What are you doing?
Sending each and every one of these worms
into the bathroom to hide them.
(gasps)
No! No! (stammering)
Aw, come on, Custard.
Sorry. Thomas.
-Don't do it! (stammering) -Come on, let's face it.
Worms are no big deal compared to, uh, three-armed Mar...
(Mandrake growling)
♪ ♪
(Mandrake yelling)
(heavy footstep thumps)
(growling)
Worms, is it?
If it's worms she wants, then that's what she'll get!
(demons cackling)
Wow.
(demons cackling and whooping wildly)
-(rumbling, crashing) -(Bella Yaga shouts)
BELLA YAGA: No, no, no, no, no!
It wasn't me!
I tell you, it wasn't me!
(grunts)
Why, you!
You! You've gone and done it now!
Ah, you poor woman.
But it's your fault, you know.
-What did you say? -(heavy footstep thumps)
MANDRAKE: I told you that you were
not to disturb me!
-(screaming) -(growling)
(gasping)
("Don't Disturb Me" playing over stereo)
♪ Dancing ♪
♪ Oh, the shameful fairy lies and gossips ♪
♪ Oh... ♪
Here, get rid of this nuisance, would you?
Huh?
After all, it would be wrong for me
to disturb you any further.
-Isn't that right, Mr. Mandrake? -(Mandrake growling)
Now, you two can do whatever you want.
-I'll leave you to it. -(Bella Yaga whimpering)
(growling)
-("Don't Disturb Me" continues) -MANDRAKE: Ah, come back...!
(gasps, grunts)
♪ ♪
Huh? "Earwig"?
-(gasps) -(crowd cheering)
No way!
♪ Inside a freezing furnace ♪
♪ Coated ash from head to toe ♪
♪ Barefoot girl's feet are chapped ♪
♪ Sobbing loud 'cause she doesn't know ♪
♪ How long she'll have to wait ♪
♪ Until the prince of her dreams ♪
♪ comes through ♪
♪ On his big white horse to take her to the palace ♪
♪ Up in his castle tower ♪
♪ All around him are his toys ♪
♪ Looking all pale and gray ♪
♪ Little prince cowers like a boy ♪
♪ His door is shut secure ♪
♪ A hundred locks keep it nice and tight ♪
♪ The only girl the frightened ♪
♪ prince knows is his mommy ♪
♪ Oh, the foolish prince is lonely ♪
♪ Ah, the goofing girl seeks what she waits for ♪
♪ Oh, they don't know the doors ♪
♪ what they're there for ♪
♪ Waiting to be opened ♪
♪ Don't disturb me ♪
♪ I'm here to say ♪
♪ If you come bother me, I'll curse you away ♪
♪ Don't disturb me ♪
♪ Though you seem nice ♪
♪ If you're a bother, I'll... I'll curse you twice ♪
♪ Don't disturb me, I'm here to say ♪
♪ If you come bother me, I'll curse you away ♪
♪ Don't disturb me ♪
♪ You wait and see ♪
♪ You'll feel my curse's ferocity. ♪
♪ ♪
-MANDRAKE: That's enough. -(gasps)
-(fingers snap) -(music stops)
Those worms she summoned were intended for you, weren't they?
Hey, mister, you were a rock star, right?
I love Earwig! I love it!
Also, who was that beautiful redhead lady?
-(gasps) Your girlfriend? -(growls)
Did that woman give you the worms or didn't she?!
Mm-hmm. And I tried to put them in the bathroom
through a hole in the wall to hide them from her.
It was a mistake.
Magical worms will wriggle into magic places.
The worms made their way into my den.
Music is the same.
It carries you to magical places.
That woman will not do that to you again.
As for you, you won't do that again either.
I told her to teach you properly
so that I could then be left alone.
I don't like to be disturbed.
(gasps) Thank you!
She had amazing talent.
For playing drums and fashioning spells.
Mister, what did Earwig break up over?
And who's the redhead?
♪ ♪
Not so fast! Stop!
What about the witches' law?
Enough! Whatever I end up doing, it'll be on my terms.
(scoffs)
So long, you coward.
Those 12 stubborn crones are in charge of a lot,
but they don't control my life.
(scoffs)
MANDRAKE: A hole left by a witch
can only be filled by a witch.
She simply... left us.
(sighs)
Mister, I-I won't leave like that,
and I'll become a proper witch.
Please, sir. I can also help you with your writing.
I just want to be useful to you.
Time for you to go.
I don't like to be disturbed.
Mister, I-I just, I...
(grunts)
(gasps)
Wait a minute! Mister?
School starts tomorrow.
Would you mind telling her to let me go to class?
I really need to see my friend Custard.
-(sighs) -Custard is a bookworm,
just like you are.
He's always reading.
But all he ever reads is science fiction.
Maybe he should try reading a mystery once in a while.
So, would it be all right if I went to school during the day?
If I do, it'll be a lot more peaceful around here.
I'll consider it.
Uh... Oh, well.
(grunting softly)
(sighs)
You know, Thomas,
you and I can make them do just about
-whatever we want them to. -Huh?
The rest is up to one thing: me.
-Huh? -Huh?
(broom sweeping broken glass)
(footsteps approaching)
(Bella Yaga sighs)
-I'll be learning magic. -(gasps)
Or so I was told.
Can't wait to start.
(sighs heavily)
Fine. I just wish I knew how you did it. (gasps)
-I just want to say thank you. -(Thomas choking)
We were talking just now,
and the Mandrake said you were a great witch
and a terrific drummer as well.
I hope I can be like you someday.
(stammering)
Stop that at once!
(panting)
Now then, cleaning comes first for you,
because we can't function in this mess.
(giggles)
♪ Don't disturb me, I'm here to say ♪
♪ If you come bother me, I'll curse you away. ♪
(chuckles)
Hey, Bella, why don't we all go on a picnic sometime?
In your nice yellow car.
You stupid girl.
If you've got time to do that,
you've got time to learn a spell.
As for that car, it belongs to the Mandrake, and it's...
EARWIG: Oh, I was kind of hoping
that maybe you would drive me.
BELLA YAGA: Stupid girl.
That's not what I'm talking about at all.
♪ ♪
EARWIG: Six months have gone by sine
they took me into this house.
-Breakfast in bed with... -Now everyone here
does exactly what I want them to.
I mean, it's almost better than the orphanage.
...and choice of bread.
The mixed grill.
That's what I'll have.
(yawns)
- These days, t he Mandrake's nice enough
-to call me "Dearwig." -(knock on door)
-Come in. -And I quite like it.
Dearwig.
Good morning, sir.
May I have the mixed grill today?
-(grunts) -Oh!
I read yesterday's manuscript.
It was so interesting.
That part in the middle where the children wander into
the tower in the dark and then climb all the way to the top,
only to find a severed head instead of a bell--
so good!
(groaning softly)
When can I read more?
-(steam whistling) -I'll get right to it.
(grunting)
EARWIG: Even the demons,
who are only loyal to the Mandrake,
are starting to do my bidding now.
-(fingers snap) -Oh, Demon!
You summoned me, my most beautiful and splendid mistress?
The Mandrake and I will have the mixed grill,
and Bella Yaga...
Even so, there's still one thing
I just can't get to seem to go my way.
No matter what I do, Custard won't come to visit.
-BELLA YAGA: Open it for me. -Mm-hmm.
EARWIG: He says he's
much too afraid of the Mandrake
to come anywhere near the house.
(Mandrake growling angrily)
But it's all right.
Just like I made things go my way at my new home,
I'm sure I'll eventually be able to make Custard do what I want.
(grunts softly)
(vehicle approaching)
(shudders, gasps)
-(doorbell buzzing) -He's here!
(Bella Yaga chuckles)
(shivering)
Hmm?
(lock clicking)
Custard! You...
(gasps)
Merry Christmas, Earwig.
(upbeat song playing)
(singers harmonizing)
(woman singing in Japanese)
(song continues in Japanese)
♪ ♪
(song ends)