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I used to think being born a sinclair
was the best thing that ever happened to me.
There were rumors about us
and I always thought they were just jealous.
They say grandpa August was a monster,
that he was the richest man in history.
I always thought he was the cheapest.
I think I convinced myself that...
I could actually be happy being a sinclair.
This is Geraldine calling again from St. Paul's.
There's been an incident at the school
and we have been trying to reach you all night.
If you could please
Um...
I'm sorry about that, uh...
If you could please just...
Give us a call back when you get a chance.
Thank you.
Uh-uh-uh. No, no, no.
Get up, I need you to take care of luck.
- Oh, come on. - Get up, out of bed.
I have, like, stuff to do.
Such as?
This is pretty good for right now.
You gonna tell me why you attacked that girl?
It's a miracle it's only a one-day suspension.
The school called grandpa August's place
in the middle of dinner.
Uncle November thought it was pretty impressive.
He didn't think you had it in you.
How was last night?
Oh, same as every year.
And we have to go back and...
Work on this business plan for next year.
So you need to look after luck.
Have fun!
Hmm.
Aunty a says she's sorry
- she missed your birthday. - Mm-hmm.
She gave me your birthday present.
It's downstairs on the kitchen...
Counter.
Luckster.
Dad. Hey.
Read the card first.
And don't you have something to say to her?
Fighting? Suspension?
I head-butted her.
What the heck is this?
She got me a letter opener?
Uh, please be careful, don't touch the blade.
Damn, that's sharp!
I can't believe she bought this for you.
Dec, we gotta get going.
Uh...
Uh, don't forget your transfusions.
It's supposed to be really sunny today.
So make sure you stay away from the windows.
Luck needs to be in bed by 8:00 P.M.
- Where are you going? - No later, okay?
Mom, take luck with you, she'd love it.
Love you. Be good. Please.
- Bye, sweetie. - Bye.
You're going to have to start doing this soon.
Stupid adorable baby.
Stupid baby.
What? No, don't say that.
Hey sweetie,
looks like we're gonna have to stay the night.
Mom!
You sound stressed.
Yeah, your father's new business plan
is the work of a lunatic.
Hey, is luck asleep?
In bed, right?
Oh yes, she's sound asleep.
Uh-huh.
Make sure she's not watching any scary movies,
I don't want nightmares.
Love you.
- Love you, too. - Bye.
Mornin', chance.
Where's your coat?
Mom said you had lunch money for me?
What, are you kidding me?
Uh, let's see.
Ah.
Yeah, yeah.
All right, I'll pay you not to get suspended today.
Let's go.
Come on, honey.
Um...
Le bourgeoisie a perdu toute sa pertinence.
What this means is that the bourgeoisie lost
all hope with the people.
So if you compare this to what he said in 1892...
Listen up, you disabled lesbian slut.
My dad is going to sue you so fast,
you and your freak family will be begging us
to take you outback and put you down
like the disgusting tasty ass-dogs you are.
You speak like that to me again
and I'll smash your two front teeth in.
Oh wait, I did that already, didn't I?
Mm.
Chance said the n-word.
- We need eleven more. - Good.
So, November and February should make up that.
Those aren't the type of souls we want.
They're preying on addicts and weak people.
We need... We need the type of souls
that your father wants us to collect.
Says who? You?
I am just following our doctrine.
Who's the head of this family, June?
We're serving a greater purpose, father!
Who's the head of this family?
There's been an incident at the school.
Yeah, no, that's fine. I'll be right there.
She isn't to speak to any police until we're present.
Now, is as good a time as any
to talk about the other things.
We're tired, father.
This will be our last harvest.
No child of mine has ever left the family.
Then let me succeed you as the head of house sinclair.
Let me lead or let us walk.
Here's the deal.
A hundred more harvests.
No.
- Fifty. - No.
One.
And?
And I get chance.
She's a full-blooded sinclair.
She doesn't know her own strength.
And she is soon to know
that the ruse that she has, uh,
a genetic defect is a lie.
One more harvest, and your firstborn,
and you two can have your freedom.
I really did only touch her.
And she always bitched about wanting a nose job,
so she got her wish.
Mom?
Why are we here?
What's going on?
No. No.
No.
Hell no.
Mom, I'm sorry. I get it, I messed up.
It's not your fault.
What does that even mean?
It means things are complicated.
This isn't fair.
It'll do you some good.
Grandpa August is a mean son of a bitch,
but he's smart. You can learn from him.
How long am I gonna be living here for?
We'll see.
What about when I need checkups?
What about school?
What about my friends?
Is there even reception here?
I don't even have Wi-Fi.
I'm 17, this is my life.
This is kidnapping!
- This is... - Homeschooling
is not kidnapping.
Exactly, homeschooling,
not "let's force chance to live with grandpa August".
It won't be all that bad.
Your mother and I think it's a good idea to get away
from city distractions for a while.
And 18 is a big year for a sinclair.
No.
Dad?
Back me up.
Dad!
I know it's a confusing time for a young woman.
Changes in your body.
- Puberty. - Oh, god!
Please kill me before you finish that sentence.
You watch how you speak to me, young lady.
Now, let's make the best of it.
We treat it like, uh, a mini prep school.
Mini-prison?
Oh, okay.
You are free to go anytime you want, young lady,
but then I might have to write you out.
Of what?
Your will?
Hey, your shoes!
We finally have our freedom.
All it cost us was our firstborn.
Next harvest,
we kill him.
It's not running away
if you're running back home, right?
I can hitchhike back to Vancouver and say,
"mom, dad, I'm sorry, I'll go to school and..."
If you take another step, you will never, ever
be able to call yourself a sinclair again.
This is why everybody calls you "the creepy uncle".
Lurking around the forest with...
What is that?
Luxsbane.
It's been in our family since the first days.
And tradition dictates that each sinclair
should learn the power to wield it.
Hey, you know you're my favorite uncle.
Right, uncle no-no?
Well, I hope you can fight better than you lie.
I know we're in the shade, but mom says
I can't be outside in the sun for more than ten minutes, so...
You know what, that's a lie.
Because it takes an hour before the sinclair sunburn
makes you want to cut your head off.
Being a sinclair is all about power, loyalty.
And if you fall in line, you can wield that power too.
I know mom and dad abandoned me here
so I could learn how to be all proper and nice,
but this ain't me.
Well, then what do you think you are?
I don't know. I like design. I like fashion,
or maybe graphic design.
Okay.
First book, last shelf in the study.
It'll help you see what's right in front of you.
Now, if you want to get out of this house alive,
you must learn how to win.
Yeah, no.
Who are we?
I have been waiting for you to ask that question
since you took your first breath.
The sinclairs are gifted.
We have gifts that others don't have.
A purpose.
Which is?
To make the world right.
It gives you the power over one thing.
Time.
And we have more time than most.
Happy birthday.
Now, blow out those candles.
Chance?
Hello? Chance!
I want to get you out of here.
For tonight, you have to trust me.
Who the hell are you?
I'm the chef. Who the hell are you?
Tonight has been 5,000 years in the making.
Five thousand years for one meal.
One attempt to take the life of August sinclair.
I'm so sick...
Of not even knowing if I'm being lied to.
That no one knows how to hurt you quite like family.
Mom's assistant, Mickey,
how did she convince Sydney to help mom?
Come on, bruv. Take it!
Get it all. Take it!
What you looking at, huh?
What you lookin" at?
Get the fuck out of here!
What the fuck do you want?
What's wrong with you?
Hello, Mr. two black coffees.
How's your morning going?
Come on, spaz, let's go.
Hey, Kyle, fuck off.
What the hell did you say to me?
Start walking or I will shove this
so far up your ass
you'll be tasting dark roast for a month.
Overpriced hipster shit anyway.
Can I get you anything else?
Now, our top story.
A 22-year-old man wanted in connection
to a series of muggings was found dead
in the Hastings skate park today.
Police suspect his death
is connected to a string of related murders.
They're appealing for the public to share any information
they might have about our city's own angel of vengeance.
In other news, the markets are reeling today
after energy conglomerate sinclair mining
announced the acquisition of henty solar
in a move that shocked wall street...
No, no, no, no. No, you can't be...
What are you doing? We talked about this.
You can't just barge into my place of work. Are you...
My boss needs the chef.
Well then, maybe your boss should learn
to take no for an answer.
My job depends on it.
Look, I know I owe you.
This thing in saskatoon...
Hey there, chef.
My boss is real a big fan of your work.
One night gig and make more money with me
than you'll do with this guy in a year.
Mickey, this isn't professional.
Plus, he's not for sale.
I'll see you soon.
Reservation?
No.
No, no, no, no, no.
That's, that's a big no.
Mickey is involved in something big here.
She's been bugging me for a week about it.
Okay? There's no poker face on that girl.
She said the customer's, like a lord evil-type guy.
So he won't let me run a background check on her, okay?
So it's fine, don't sweat it.
Okay.
New pans.
What?
New pans.
Old ones are starting to chip.
Okay.
Mr. two black coffees, right on time.
Hey, can I ask you a question?
I don't know. Can you?
Our coffee sucks.
It's not great.
Well, I tried serving the good stuff,
but nobody wanted to pay the extra quarter for it, so...
Uh, question?
Why do I feel like I know you from somewhere?
Just ask her out already, you spaz.
Sorry.
Anything else for you, Mr. two black coffees?
He's weird.
Oh, my god.
Oh, whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Hey, it's me.
Look, you trust me, right?
Yes.
Okay, well, I trust you more than you will ever know,
but...
Something is wrong.
If table two still wants their sandwich...
No, no, no, it has nothing to do with table...
Shit.
Get out back, run. Go, now!
Good afternoon, chef.
Everybody out!
Mickey, you don't wanna do this.
Freddie, why don't you just sit down and shut up?
Chef, my friend Freddie here
tells me that you're quite the toxicologist, huh?
What's this?
Sprout.
Garden variety.
Incredibly common.
And these?
Conium maculatum arcus.
Only grows in silver mines.
One sprout is enough to kill a hundred men.
So potent even crows feeding on a carcass will die.
It's a violent death. Sudden, painful.
Arch hemlock can be diluted by drinking milk
within the first five minutes of ingestion.
- Calcium... - Once ingested, how long...
Six minutes to enter the blood-stream.
Sixty-nine minutes before the respiratory system
begins to fail and 70 minutes before full cardiac arrest.
For a human, that is.
You're perfect.
Here's the rub.
Tonight my family will be gathering
for their annual feast.
You will be our chef.
You will cook us a most exquisite meal.
And you will poison the host.
- Who's the host? - My father.
Or take your time.
However, my husband will start
to cut off bits of Freddie's face
until you say yes.
And after there is nothing left to tell
between your friend and a piece of raw meat,
I'll pay that lovely coffee stall
you like so much a visit, hmm?
Dakota?
Adelaide?
You've got a little crush, huh?
Young love is so cute.
Ricin?
Cyanide?
Immune.
That's impossible.
He has quite a diabolic constitution.
Arch hemlock is the only choice.
Syd, don't do it, don't!
You think I'm a monster for asking you to do this?
I need to save my family at any cost.
I'll do it.
Mickey will keep an eye
on Freddie.
I'm sure they have plenty of old war stories
to catch up on.
Hey, luck,
cousin Mickey,
she's going to be hangin' out with you tonight, okay?
You listen to her, okay?
- Okay. - Be good.
Deep breaths. Take a second to get used to the air here.
Oh, look, who it is!
How's my family?
Let the games begin, huh?
Well...
Razor won the fight, huh?
And June, you look thin.
Everything okay?
- Father. - Give your daddy a hug.
Oh!
And let me guess.
This must be the chef.
June said very high things about you.
It's a pleasure.
A real pleasure.
You have an expensive-looking home, Mr. sinclair.
Oh, so might as well be a shoebox to me.
Look, why don't you two say hello to chance?
She's a bit moody.
Myself and the chef need to do a little chat.
I love my garden, I do.
I had a tomato patch going and some green peas over there.
You know, I don't envy now the task you have ahead of you.
I want tonight's meal to be life-affirming.
I will do my best.
I appreciate the honesty.
It's best to be honest.
Yet life sometimes calls for dishonesty.
Such as when a wife asks you if you enjoy her cooking.
Or if I were to ask you,
"are you here to poison me?"
It's okay, I'm only joking.
So tell me about yourself.
Enlighten me.
My name is Sydney Francis Lawson.
I am 24 years old and I like to cook.
My father taught me the basics.
He must be proud of you.
He said I'm an embarrassment to my family.
That's funny.
My father said the same thing about me.
What did you do about it?
I got angry and then I forgave him.
And he gave me this.
Come inside.
Can you read this?
Alright.
We'll have a blue cheese and steak crostini
for the appetizer.
And then, later on,
we'll have ribs with a tamarind glaze.
And for dessert,
chocolate chip cookies
and vanilla bean ice cream.
Why?
Because who doesn't like cookies and ice cream.
Don't give me that look.
You clearly don't know what you're dealing with.
You can't say no to sinclairs.
Why didn't you give him up?
Her family, they decide when to start a war.
When to end a famine.
When to kill the help.
What was the price for screwing over
your old friend Freddie?
They'll make me part of the family.
If June pulls this off, she's gonna make me one of them.
And if you play ball,
then maybe she'll give you a job. The kid, too.
You're out of your mind.
Well, you trained him well enough.
He's a natural-born killer.
No one's born to kill.
And I didn't make him do anything.
Would you let him live here rent-free
if he wasn't you know,
knocking off all your bad customers?
Ah!
That's interesting.
Are you scared of him, Freddie?
Syd's dangerous, Mick.
He sees things, patterns.
I met him at a homeless shelter.
The guy was a hell of a cook and he was a hell of a fighter.
Did you even run a background check on him?
Of course, I ran a background check.
Age eight, his mom and his sister split,
and then he had to get raised by his dad,
and he was a real asshole, so...
Yeah.
His dad ends up dying when Syd's eleven.
He bounces from city to city.
Syd's life makes Greek tragedies look like fairy-tales.
Yeah, and then he met you four years ago
and the two of you have been knocking off
all your bad customers like there's no tomorrow.
He also visits that coffee girl every day
but he doesn't have the guts to ask her out.
No, he doesn't like her like that.
You know, you and I made a pretty good team
back in the day.
Now, maybe June pulls off this little revolution,
what do you say you and I go on a celebratory bender?
Oh...
Getting soft on me, are you, gunny professional babysitter?
Don't start with me.
Hi.
What's your name, cutie?
I've had many names.
My name was typhon and moloch.
My daddy made me change my name so many times.
We really have to be going.
The lady obviously doesn't want you talking to her kid,
so keep walking, psycho.
Look, I was just having a little fun.
November, stay back or I will shoot!
I'm here for the steaks.
Oh. Sure, why don't you come in and make yourself at home?
I'll take that as my invitation.
Freddie!
Hey, luck.
Who the hell are you?
I am the chef. Who the hell are you?
Stranger!
In the kitchen!
Oh, my god! Dad!
You... you look old.
You never look old. What's wrong?
Grandpa August is the worst to live with.
Is luck here?
What the...
What the hell are you wearing?
Hello.
I made it out of an old shirt I found.
You look like a death metal pin cushion.
Nice to see you too, mom.
So, when can I come home?
August still thinks he can make a proper lady out of me,
but let me tell you something,
that ship has crashed, sailed, and now has a...
Chance, put some clothes on, and clean this up.
Cut her some slack.
She's a young woman living in my house rent-free.
The least she can do is not dress like a whore.
Dad.
August just called me a whore.
I said you looked like a whore.
Whether you're taken after your mother or not
remains to be seen.
Now, put some clothes on and prepare for dinner.
Go!
You know, I like this chef, June.
Knows when to talk, knows when to listen.
My favorite kind of man is...
Is a man of few words.
When will the steaks arrive?
Soon, chef, soon.
Everything is going perfectly according to plan.
Better?
Barely.
I made it myself
out of some of grandma January's old sewing stuff.
I like designing.
I think I want to do fashion.
There's this program
no! Down! Put it down!
Dude, relax.
It's just, like, food.
It's not just food, it's part of the meal.
Put it down.
Down!
Listen to the chef.
Whatever, psycho.
- Apologize. Now! - No!
Sorry I called you psycho.
No.
You stupid, stupid girl.
I haven't seen you in a year
and you're treating me like luck.
It was just a freaking sprout!
Now, what would you like your newsous to do
to be of service, chef?
She can get out of the kitchen.
Or?
Dish duty.
Good.
Why don't we go for a little tour?
I found this here today.
Would you like it?
Tonight, you dress like a sinclair.
Stop that.
Dude.
I'm sorry if you got offended.
It's just life here is weird.
August won't let me have friends over
and he won't let me have the Internet.
I'm sorry, but it was just a sprout.
I need your help.
Okay.
I can do toast and burnt toast.
The sinclairs, vampires, demons, or a werewolf cult?
Which is it?
Okay, a lot to unpack there.
I have a skin condition.
It's genetic.
If I go out into the sun, a rapid influx of vitamin d
causes fast-reacting tumors to grow.
I don't want that.
I wanna see the world and shit.
That's why I have to get daily blood transfusions.
Okay, so your parents lied to you.
You're a vampire.
No! We're just rich.
Rich people are weird, that is a fact.
Vampire?
I could have you fired.
Drink this.
No.
There's like 101 calories in every cup of milk.
You were just drinking chocolate milk.
Dude, that was chocolate milk.
Drink it!
Chocolate milk is different.
Oh, who's this?
Oh, chef.
Meet my youngest daughter.
Isn't she hot, huh?
Doesn't she wear that body well?
- Woo! - Whoa.
Now have you a present for me?
Special delivery, fresh off the bone.
Smell that.
- Mm. - Mm.
- Oh, my god. - Isn't he handsome?
He is so cute!
Just look at this thing.
Mm, mm, mm, can we keep him?
I know what you want for dessert.
Chef.
Why don't we take a look at the meat, huh?
Have you ever seen anything so exquisite?
Sir.
Do me a favor.
After you serve the entrées,
why don't you two take a chill pill,
hang around here?
We have some private family affairs to discuss,
understand?
- Sir, the meat is... - Is fresh.
From quality livestock, I can assure you.
It's gonna be one hell of a night.
Chance told me.
Ice cream milk.
Thank you.
How do you poison a man
who knows he's gonna be poisoned?
He doesn't suspect a thing.
What did he do to you?
He has...
Beliefs.
Archaic ones.
He thinks family is just another word for slave.
You just focus on what I brought you here to do.
If you want to save chance, run.
You're an idiot.
I don't run.
Luck's fine.
Mickey would die before anything happened to them.
His guard is down.
We proceed.
And you call me an idiot.
Life is a series of patterns.
Water boils at 100 degrees celsius.
Bread toasts at 176.
I do not see the world,
I watch it.
Your father knows I'm gonna poison him.
I will not die tonight.
That's the spirit.
Look, if I'm wrong,
do whatever it takes to get out of here.
As dear demented father always said,
the ends will always justify the means.
Machiavelli said it.
Father said it first.
This plate to father, chef.
Beautiful.
Absolutely beautiful.
Anything you want to tell me?
After dinner.
Sydney's here to kill August.
After dinner.
No, one question.
It's silly, really, am I...
- Are we... - Going to be okay?
Vampires?
After dinner.
I'll tell you everything, I promise.
I love you.
Say it back.
After dinner.
A toast!
As you all know,
it will be June and December's final harvest.
Good family,
good drink,
and great food.
To June and December.
What do you think you're doin'?
Sitting down.
That's November's chair.
When you learn to act like a sinclair,
you can dine like one.
Chef!
Would you do us the honor
of having the first taste?
Okay.
Chef. Chef!
My plate, please.
Anything else?
No.
We'll call you when we're ready for the next course.
Everyone is named after a month, except you,
even your father. Why?
Grandpa August saysit's an old sinclair tradition,
but I think it's hella tyrannical,
cause even those who marry into the family
have to change their names.
I need to know who is on your mother's side.
Dad.
And I guess aunty April.
What the hell is going on in there?
Who is missing from the table?
Grandma January,
but she's been gone since I was a baby.
And uncle November.
He's the family psycho.
Don't use that word.
It's true.
Mom and dad are petrified of him.
- You need to run. - Run? Run where?
We're a million miles within anything.
Pace yourself.
I'm not running.
So hide.
Closet?
I'm more of a hiding in a...
"Different closet" kind of girl.
I want you to live through this.
Who would've thought Nazi's
would be a problem again?
Is it true that grandfather has
a special kind of torture for them?
I heard that he takes a menorah,
and he puts it up their arse,
and he lights it from the inside.
June.
Did you enjoy your meal?
Delicious.
Please,
I'm trying to keep room for the main course.
I need to save room for dessert.
You know how I hate to waste food.
Why don't you pass your plate to December?
You think I'm a weak leader?
Is that why you tried to poison me?
Say your piece.
House sinclair...
Is dying.
We've been called angels, demons.
Chance thinks we're vampires.
Our place in the natural order of things is to cull the damned.
Yet July preys on addicts.
May on glutinous New York socialites.
April on the lost.
I can bring us prosperity
and happiness of the likes we have never known.
But not with that monster at the head of house sinclair.
Who will have the courage to stand with me?
As sure as the sun will rise,
parents are destined
to be empowered by their children
or embarrassed by them.
This is the thanks I get?
I tutored your child.
All I asked was your obedience.
I even gave your indignant husband a place
in our family.
We were never family.
I have a family.
Had.
Father wasn't sure who else was conspiring
in yourcoup d'gacher,
so I paid cousin Mickey a visit today.
What have you done?
Where's luck?
Be proud.
Little lucky put up much more of a fight than Mickey.
Where is my child?
Mmm.
So good, mmm.
I should have done this years ago.
Bloody coward.
You said that to me once before.
I took your tongue then.
You know what I'm going to take this time?
To the devil.
Say it!
Say it! Say it!
Sinclair ever after!
We dine on the traitors tonight!
You all knew June was plotting something
and you didn't tell me?
We had it under control.
That was cruel!
You made her eat her child, August.
Really?
Is this what we do, father?
What's up, fam?
What've I missed?
Sydney didn't deserve any of this.
I do. I tried to kill them.
Every family has its monsters.
We're just extra.
I'll have a piece of June.
I call dibs on the heart.
Well, boys, now do we feel up for it, huh?
My story isn't your story.
That's what family is, I think.
One big story.
Each generation is a new chapter.
The day you were born, dad went to August
and asked to be free of the sinclair curse.
He said no.
Dad asked again.
So August ripped the tongue from his mouth.
How come we couldn't see what we were?
Yo.
Look, I'm really flattered
you want in your cult or whatever this is,
but I'm not really interested. It's not my thing.
Everything will be fine.
Fine? We're in the basement of a family of vampires.
Vampire is an oversimplification.
Why do they want me?
They, they, they see me get coffee from you every day.
They think I like you.
- Oh. - I don't.
Oh, well, you're super charming, you know that?
You know, Adelaide doesn't like you either,
she thinks you're a creep.
Does she?
Who comes to a coffee stand every day for four years?
Don't you have a life?
She's open every day.
She has nowhere else to go.
All her family is dead or something.
What's your excuse?
Is Adelaide okay?
I don't know.
I think she got away.
The psycho in the white hoodie got me first.
Appetizer was a little salty.
Try and add ketchup?
Why did you eat from August's plate?
If I did not, he would not have trusted me.
Arch hemlock,
it kills your kind, right?
Sunlight, silver, and arch fucking hemlock,
those are the three things that can kill us.
And you are?
Servants of heaven save the good.
Servants of hell cull the damned.
As above so below ever after.
Making a mother eat her own child
is culling the damned?
What a night!
We culled the weak from the herd.
Sinclair ever after.
The traitors, June and December.
They hired a killer, an assassin,
who was so obedient that he ate from my poisoned plate.
Don't you laugh!
Don't you dare laugh at him!
He showed courage.
Bravery.
He understands us.
I have never killed for pleasure.
Haven't you?
I see in your eyes, in your soul,
you're a soldier looking for an army.
We could be your army.
Your family.
We strive to make the world right.
Why did you have to kill the kid?
The seed from a bad tree is never good.
See, that's the beauty about being a sinclair.
We decide who lives.
Take me for what I have done,
but let Dakota live.
No, no, no, son.
What you take as weakness I take as strength.
How far would you go to be called "sinclair"?
Does it come with health insurance?
Good dental?
I will never be a sinclair.
Your loyalty is touching.
So we're going to have a little game
to break that loyalty.
Tonight is gonna be all about seeing
how far you will go
to protect someone you love.
Everyone has their limits.
I think I know yours.
Sinclairs!
This year,
the game night is gonna be the three trials.
Syd... Syd, what's going on?
You can't, you can't be here.
No, I can't. It's not really my thing.
So I'll leave you to the rich assholes.
Chef.
You kill the three trials
and I let Dakota go free.
Freddie is you first trial.
I can't win.
In this life?
Probably not.
I'm proud of you, Syd.
I love you.
You can't do it?
Let me give you a news flash.
All your bad customers that Freddie sent to you,
there's a bounty on their heads.
He got paid.
Don't, don't listen to him.
Syd, he's lying.
He used you.
He used you, chef.
I'm proud of you, kid. I love you.
Did you lie to me?
Did you lie, lie, lie...
Lie, lie, lie!
Now,
a slight change of plans.
Dakota will be the next trial.
Get chance.
Chance is in a closet
chance is in a closet
Where is my child?
Oh, so now you want to see me.
What the hell is going on?
If anyone finds out lady hellfire struggles
to light a campfire...
Alright.
I can do this.
I shouldn't be scared.
I need to make her feel welcome.
How about "welcome"?
No, oh!
No.
Okay.
That was something.
Okay, chance you can, you can do this.
Hello? Come out!
Come on, let's play!
Oh, little bird.
August has been waiting years to taste you.
Hm.
Let's see if your taste is as good as your mom.
Bitch, I would start running if I was you.
I can smell you.
No! No! No!
Stop! Please! Please!
Stop! No, no!
No, please!
No! Stop!
Oh, you poor thing.
Ease off the wine,
they'll grow back in an hour.
August.
Grandpa.
Where is mom?
You wanted to know what you were.
Well, this is it.
Dad!
Oh well, they were delicious.
I do think the chef should get some kind of an award though
for how he prepared little baby luck.
Simply divine.
You monsters!
I will never be like you.
Fine.
New deal.
Kill her and you can have your freedom.
What?
No!
Like...
Free, free?
Like free, free.
Like a little bird.
Okay.
Excuse me?
I wanted it to be epic and I scared you.
Oh, I knew I'd screw this up.
Hello, hi!
Would a sword make you feel safer?
What?
Yes.
Well, why didn't you say so?
Ah!
Three, two, one.
This doesn't make any sense!
I know this is all very strange,
but you've really got no choice but to trust me.
Now, give me a hug.
- Am I really... - Yeah.
You know, I always thought god would be more
"hi, I'm Morgan Freeman."
I'm no god.
Use your head, stupid.
Luck?
The one and only and as adorable as ever.
But...
You were...
And now, I'm ta-da!
Time doesn't work the same way here the way it does there.
It's more...
Mom and dad? Are they here?
Mom and dad are together.
Happy. And the chef?
Well, if all goes to plan, the chef dies.
Right now, he's counting down
until the arch hemlock takes effect,
but he's off by two seconds and I'm rambling.
No.
No, this isn't happening.
It's been happening since August...
Actually he's gone by many names.
Samael, k olski, al-shaitan, Dracula,
the infernal revelation...
Since he stole the king of horn's heart,
like ripped it from his chest.
- And then the king of halos... - The king of what?
Halos? Like...
He stole the heart of the king of horns.
It was a huge deal, epic.
Sun dragons and hellfire cannons...
Are we evil king demon vampires?
Evil? Uh...
Is a knife a weapon or a tool?
If we are v-words, it's up to us what we do with it.
Sure, the sinclairs need daily human blood to survive,
and if we stay the sun too long we turn into fireballs, and...
We're seriously vampires.
I know this is a lot.
I was just as scared as you are
when I found out our family's little secret.
It really is you.
I've waited so, so long to see you.
Please, I have to tell you something
otherwise, this will all be for nothing.
We don't have long before August finds us here.
Disappointing.
November,
bring in the third trial.
Dakota?
I don't know what happened.
They grabbed me.
This is sick.
You bastard, I'll kill you!
- I'll crush your head! - Hey!
You!
I haven't had this much fun
since Titus and the lions.
Take the blade.
Do it!
Go on!
So...
Are you ready to join the family?
Is that a yes?
See?
I knew you'd come around.
Unfortunately, there is no room in the family for you.
So what I'm going to do is devour them all.
But we're going to show you a little mercy.
Sinclairs,
how about we give this brave warrior
a hero's execution?
Ah, yes.
Good boy.
Was the best thing that ever happened to me.
Your eyes look even more beautiful than before.
I think I convinced myself that I...
I could actually be happy.
Tonight has been 5,000 years in the making.
Five thousand years for one meal.
One attempt to take the life of August sinclair.
You were a worthy adversary, son.
Look at you now.
Fourteen, thirteen, twelve...
- Why the fuck is he counting? - Eleven...
Put his head on the stone.
Ten...
Nine...
Put his head on the rock.
Eight...
Seven, six...
Five. Four...
Three!
- Two! - What's he doing?
Enough! Give me the sword!
Kill him, he did this.
One.
We were made to kill the monsters,
not become them.
You've lost your way, papa.
How?
My entire family is dead.
I ate one of my nieces.
I watched the other have her throat crushed.
Why am I still alive?
Huh?
Because you didn't eat June.
Of course, I didn't eat her!
She was my sister.
How'd you know August would eat her?
He liked to devour his enemies.
Any chef would have known that the steaks may brought
were not from a cow.
So you didn't poison August.
You poisoned June and December
- hoping... - Knowing.
That he'd eat her.
If June's plan would have worked,
would you have followed her?
June was my father's daughter.
Eventually, power corrupts.
They got some really shiny things in here.
It's not right to steal.
Says the serial killer.
Normally, yes, but they're not people.
How's that for a loophole?
I should be a lawyer.
Mr. two black coffees.
Hi.
I thought my family was a disaster, but...
But them.
Gosh, what a night.
Christ almighty.
Nope.
Sydney.
Chef.
Your name is Sydney?
That is so weird.
I had a brother called Sydney.
Do you know what happened to him?
Mom said there was a fire.
No one was in the house.
Every army sent
to recover the king of horn's heart was cut down.
So the chef was forged.
Someone August would underestimate.
If Sydney failed, they would have kept trying.
Over and over.
His actions saved everyone.
And now?
Sydney is free.
When I learned of their plan,
I made a deal with the above and the below.
Sydney had been robbed of the first 24 years of his life,
so I demanded they give those years
to someone else.
Good.
No, I...
I've seen too much to go back.
No.
I don't deserve it.
You're absolutely right.
I'm scared.
I know.
I love you.
I love you and I know you'll be alright.