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Doors are open, you know the deal.
Come on, I'll get you a little pick-me-up.
This isn't good.
Well, this is.
Best part of waking up, bourbon in your cup.
-There you go, brother. -Thank you.
Get any sleep last night?
Tomorrow, tomorrow...
tomorrow,
creeps in this petty pace
from day to day.
On this spot in 2016, Michael slept it off.
Last day with him.
What's he gonna do, where is he gonna go?
-I mean, come on. -That's actually a very good question.
I can't imagine that dude functioning without this place, but...
guess he'll have to figure it out.
All right.
-I'm sorry. -Aw.
-Thank you. -You're welcome.
Come here. I'm sorry.
-All right, buddy, no worries. -Thank you.
Glad to see you among the living again.
You look much better.
You feeling any better?
Sure, let's say yes.
That's good. I didn't touch any of your stuff.
I--I know, I didn't--I know.
All right, buddy.
-See you tomorrow. -I probably...
That's a lot more sun than I usually see.
-What's the--um... -Sorry.
Fucking last day in paradise, huh?
Honestly, what does this bar make?
So you're going down--so you're going down to $85 a day, who cares?
-Stay open. -Probably gonna turn into a CVS anyway.
All right, anyway.
I'm going to go get the decorations.
All right, please do.
-Oh, lookie-lou. -Good morning.
I can't believe John's here, I can't believe it.
What are the odds? Oh, and he has doughnuts!
Look at that! Ask and ye shall receive!
-Forget the sandwich. -Fuck the sandwich!
-Give me the fucking doughnuts! -Good man.
John, just in the nick of time, coming through with doughnuts.
Oh, God, this thing weighs about 40 pounds.
I really do have to go get the decorations.
Try not to hurt yourself.
-How are you doing today, man? -Good.
Can you put that somewhere?
Yeah, yeah, will do.
-Do I want to know what's in there? -Nope.
You know what they say at the airport?
If you see something say something?
The whole, like, unmarked bag situation?
See nothing, saw nothing.
For more on what's gonna happen, we go to Yasmeen Hassan.
Now we are just a few hours away from Carnado.
If you're heading south on the 15, and you need to head off in that general direction,
I would hop off at Lake Mead and then take MLK over
and then that'll connect you over to 95.
So, all of this starts at 10 p.m. tonight
and it's going to stay in place until February.
You really hit the ground running today, Michael.
I--I know we're making fun, but...
-Aren't we always? -I pride myself...
I pride myself on not having become an alcoholic
until after I was already a failure,
because alcoholic failures are boring.
That's actually...
And I ruined my life sober,
and then I came to you.
We got you at the prime-- we got you at the prime of your life, man.
So you're saying the alcohol didn't ruin your life.
Keith Richards looks at you and wonders how you're still alive.
That was the sound of your point being rejected by the judges.
-That is... -We're going to have to go to the judges.
-Hello! -Brothers!
You're just in time for the not-party.
We're not having fun in celebration of not closing.
Hey, I'm leaving, I'll catch you all later.
Like, what else is new? Welcome to the rant.
-Michael's just getting started. -Oh my God.
All right, this is--this is--this is--
I'm really almost done.
-You look good. -Not yet, but I wish I was.
Success is not something that you're responsible for.
You know, success will happen or it won't happen,
largely due to forces outside your control.
-Really? -Largely, not exclusively.
There are people who can bull their way through to success.
-But by and large... -Hard work and all that.
By and large, it's a matter of luck and timing and...
All right, thank you, at least there's one point.
So all you can do,
all you can be responsible for,
is not becoming a joke
before you go.
And...
Oh, shit.
Jesus, Lowell. Fuck you, man.
Fucking asshole.
A new car!
Thank you so much.
Mark-Paul Gosselaar...
Y'all remember Wolfman?
Hell yeah.
-Oh my gosh. -Oh, look, we got the--
Can I get--can I get some more coffee, please?
-Michael. -Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're a man of small--little words.
Well then string up some goddamn tape, you got the party shit right there.
Here, blow some of these up.
Ain't gonna happen. I got no lungs.
Well, I don't scare easy, but God dammit, that Carnado is scaring the piss out of me.
-I don't mind... -I heard that.
You know, I woke up this morning, it was like, it's a nice sunny day.
-It's on its way. -It's like we're all fucked, man, you know?
And the world's largest gift shop just got sold.
This place is fucking shutting down.
Well, they saw Carnado coming.
That's it, yeah, yeah, that's it. You got it.
The Bonanza Gift and Souvenir Shops sold.
You know, I don't even care about this town anymore.
-They're losing their character. -I hear you, I hear you, dude.
-The world, it's... -Fucking Celine Dion can have it, I'm moving.
Stay right there.
I'm gonna--I want to see if they'll come here.
I know, I'm working on it.
I'm sorry.
Listen to this, Michael. Write it down in your precious little notebook that I won't touch.
♪ You got to know when to hold 'em ♪
♪ Know when to fold 'em ♪
♪ Know when to walk away ♪
♪ And know just when to run ♪
-Or shut the fuck up. -♪ You never count your money
when you're sitting at the table ♪
♪ There'll be time enough for counting ♪
♪ When the dealing's done ♪
Yeah, yeah!
-All right. -I did, I listened to every bit of it.
Thank you, 20's, it's been a good God knows how many fucking years.
But I'm out.
I'm gonna take this here guitar,
go out to Reno and make dozens of dollars.
-Well, that certainly helps. -Did you bring your cello?
No, you know I don't bring that shit near you animals.
American Pie!
So, Marc, when you become rich and famous, you gonna share?
-Huh? -Yeah.
-You gonna share? -Share what?
-When you become rich and famous? -Your money.
-Yeah, I'll bring you guys a couple bucks. -Hundredaire?
Don't forget, that's all I'm saying.
You're the man, you're the man.
It's another word for a crucifix or cross.
-Good. -What the fuck is that?
Watch classic black and white comedy shorts on Crackle.com from this trio,
like "Cactus Makes Perfect."
-Yes. -Three of a Kind for $800.
You got me there.
-Oh! -...appear in this book of the Old Testament.
-Daniel, right. -Three of a Kind for $1000.
Are we the smartest people alive?
The pop music needs to come back on.
-...who determined human destiny. -He picked eight.
-The muses? -The fates.
What are we watching this for, to feel stupider?
I already had to deal with these clowns.
Alex Trebek, you smug son of a bitch.
Sherwin-Williams Fireweed is close.
-Yes. -Native Americans for $200.
The name of this tribe, the USA's largest,
comes from a word meaning "planted fields,"
since they were farmers.
U.S.'s largest tribe, the Navajo.
I know you gotta shave in the sink in the morning,
but make sure you rinse down the hair.
-It's okay! -No, I'm sorry, man.
That's all right, man, you look good, you look good.
I finished my sandwich, I'm saving a little bit for later on.
Okay. Jeez, you guys are really knocking these signs out the park.
We're gonna have a lesson in handwriting as soon as we're done.
I never thought I'd say it, but Lowell's got the best handwriting so far.
You know what, I'm gonna tell y'all a little joke.
Alright, tell me your joke.
-Ready for it. -Okay.
I'm gonna tell you something.
You can root high and die a poor pig.
And a heap see, but a few know what's going on.
Now listen to what I said.
A heap of people see,
but a few know what's going on.
-A "frew"? -We know what's going on.
-A fruit? -The Carnado's...
I ain't said no fruit.
You--you act like you got carbonation milk behind your ears.
I said a few.
-A few. -Okay, okay, is this like a riddle?
Uh, no.
F-E-W.
A few know what's going on.
-A few know what's going on. -So could you say the whole thing again?
A heap see but a few know...what's going on.
A heap of people see but a few people know what's going on.
A heap of people see, but a few know what's going on.
-That's sage wisdom. -Yeah, say it inside out, then it will be like Yoda.
-Right, you have to reverse everything. -Yes.
I can say it backwards.
Everybody sees but...
...fall to pieces...
...again...
Buttons, the whole fucking thing is about buttons now.
All right.
You ain't about to close, are you, yet?
Uh, yeah, but just for you, man.
Everyone else can stay.
I love you, man.
I think I'm getting a call from someone who needs a beer,
-but the unfortunate thing is... -I won't do that anymore, maybe.
Senses.
That's something I appreciate.
-Yeah. -You wake up in the morning
and you go outside,
and you smell the dew on the grass and it has a real--
to me, a very nice smell.
It awakens your senses, and all of a sudden,
maybe you feel like you're just part of everything.
Right, right.
That--that is beauty, and actually, I-- you're making me realize
I haven't smelled that smell in a long time.
I--I don't know if that's 'cause I'm not waking up at the right time of day
or because my sense of smell is shot, but I haven't smelled that in a long time.
Me too. Every now and then, it works.
But, um, when I first started being an actor,
it's like I was always after truth, I was after truth,
I wanted the truth of every scene, I wanted the truth of every line.
You sucked every time, that's why no one hired you.
After I'd been doing it for a while,
um, I kind of realized that truth--
-Even if you did find it... -Bruce, you all right over there by your lonesome self?
And so I started going after beauty instead.
I--I started going after--I started going after what pleases the eye...
Shoot yourself in the fucking forehead!
Pleases the spine.
-Your spine? Get a pistol and... -When something goes up the back of your spine.
Get a pistol and shoot yourself!
-What is that? -You're an idiot!
Uh oh, somebody was not nice.
-Ira. -Sorry.
Yeah, yeah. And there is some truth to that...
Dumbass.
Huh?
-What's it called? -Long Day's Journey into Night.
That wasn't me!
Is this a real thing, is this really happening?
20's?
Yes, it is.
Thank you for asking how I'm doing.
Thank you. What's going on?
What do you--Ira, there's a call for you, homeboy.
What--what's going on, what do you need?
Yeah, hold on. Ira, you gotta go to work, dude.
Where?
Let me deal with him. I'll get him out the door, I promise.
All right, thanks, bye.
Ira, I got terrible news for you, man, which I also can't believe,
but you're apparently supposed to be at work someplace right now.
Where am I working at?
All right.
See, he believed me.
It's probably the first person who did.
Ira.
What?
You gotta go to work.
Can I finish my drink first?
You can take this one with you.
Take this one with you. Which one do you want?
Here, look, I'll pour it in a cup for you.
Look, I don't like being the bearer of bad news.
I don't like answering this phone for any reason, actually.
Where do I gotta work at?
-Huh? -Where do I gotta work at?
Can we get subtitles on him?
Where has he gotta work at?
And maybe find a travel agent, 'cause they have all the inside information.
There are so many choices to consider, from the style of the cruise to the destination.
Uh, I have a strategy to cruising, Sean.
Okay, I get onboard, I go to my room, I drop my luggage.
-Then, I'm out of the room, I'm out. -No, we gotta do a run...
Hey, Felix, what kind of deals you got for me today, man?
This deals, that deals, drug deals.
Well, there's a bit of a rush right now, so I'll try to hold your chair for you.
Can I give you a hand?
Which way is the bathroom?
It's on the left.
-To the left. -Hell yeah.
Second door on the left.
See, when you in a platoon,
I don't care what color, race you is, it don't have nothing to do with that.
-No. -Like, you in my platoon with me,
and something happen to you,
and you get killed,
it's like something died in me,
'cause you were my friend.
You had my back and I had yours.
So...
You supposed to feel glad about it?
No, I didn't feel glad about it.
A lot of 'em didn't come back.
A whole bunch of 'em.
I lost count.
But I made it back.
My man.
Marc?
I might be calling you.
Yeah, all right. Well, let me know, I'm ready.
Is it someone in the building?
God dammit, Lowell.
Hey, we'll put--we'll put the cab ride on the bar, how's that sound?
It's been nice, man.
I'm fucked up.
I know.
They--they got you covered.
You know what I remember about this place?
You're good, you're good.
Ira, Ira, you can't sit back down.
-I'm good. -You can't sit back down.
It's time to go.
-Your beer is finished. -It's all gone, yeah.
You finished everything.
-Ira, it's over. -Okay.
That's it for the day.
That's it for the day. Come on.
Come on.
Straight out.
Yeah, you're getting there, bud.
Let's do it.
Little bit further.
-Good man. -I know.
Little bit further.
Hey, can we get that car for Ira?
Alright...
Will I see you tomorrow?
See you tomorrow?
Who the fuck knows, bro?
Well, I'll be here if you'll be here.
Good luck, man.
-No. -It's the last fucking day.
I can fuck with him.
-I'm pleased we all know the rules to this game. -I'm a paying customer here, aren't I?
If it's the last day, then you get berated all day.
If you sing this good, I won't ever insult you again.
I'm not gonna sing this well, are you kidding me?
Well, don't make him sing.
-He's starting. -No pressure.
Come on!
Let him sing if he wants to.
-Go ahead on. -Shh!
-You can sing. -You don't want that.
♪ I was all right for a while ♪
♪ I could smile for a while ♪
♪ Then I saw you last night ♪
♪ Held my hand so tight ♪
♪ As you stopped to say "Hello" ♪
♪ Though you wished me well ♪
♪ You couldn't tell ♪
♪ I'd been crying over you ♪
♪ Crying over you ♪
He's almost as good as the jukebox.
He's pretty all right.
He's not bad at all.
I've missed you guys, I've missed it.
I wanted to see you guys before this whole thing was over.
You're gonna enjoy this shit, dude.
♪ Crying ♪
♪ Crying, it's hard to understand ♪
♪ That the touch of your hand ♪
♪ Can start me crying ♪
Feel free to sing along.
♪ I thought that I was over you ♪
♪ But it's true, so true ♪
Cheryl! ♪ I love you even more ♪
♪ Than I did before ♪
♪ But, Cheryl, what can I do? ♪
♪ You don't love me ♪
♪ And I'll always be ♪
Can't sing that high right now.
♪ Over you ♪
-♪ Crying over you ♪ -It's too high for me.
And here's the other thing I want you to see that is very, very, very important.
We are saying the same things.
We are saying the same things, and if we calm down a little,
we will recognize we're saying the same things.
Yeah, there you go.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, I should have given it another foot.
Yeah.
All right, let's do the same thing over here.
Hey, Pam.
Hey!
-Where you at, darling? -Where's my honey bunny?
Long time no see.
-Looking for-- -Welcome to the party.
-Thank you. -Did you see Michael's decorations?
Look how good a job he's doing.
-Wow. -Right?
A special occasion, you know?
Can I get a Bud Light please?
Of course you can.
Hi, yeah!
I've been looking all over for you.
Well, baby, you found me.
You look so pretty.
Can I sit in this chair?
A government that is tone deaf to citizens.
And they've got real hope on this guy.
And I'm listening to people from my own community who are scared to death
because they don't--they don't trust him.
Why should all of our hope be in one person and not in each other?
Oh, wait, that was yours.
Sorry, man, I'm sorry.
See how far it'll go.
I can't wait to see who this is.
-Rikki! -Oh my God.
Rikki!
Stop, you stop, you stop.
-Oh my God, how are you? -Hi!
Where else would you be?
-We can drink now, Rikki's here. -What have you been up to?
Well, um...
oh my God, um...
I--I'm working a lot.
Um, I'm acting a little.
-Yes. -And, uh, today I'm drinking a lot.
High five!
Fixing to go get me a nice, nice, little, juicy cocktail.
Juicy cocktail!
You look really spectacular.
-You look really spectacular.
-Those were the, uh, carnado-- -I work a lot.
Yeah, you do.
I work more than most, I'm happy.
-I got till, like, five. -Oh, okay, all right, all right.
It is awesome, awesome, awesome, awesome to see you.
Yeah, no, I--when he told me you were in--
when he told me you were coming down, I was so fucking thrilled.
-Yeah. -I was so fucking thrilled,
'cause I--'cause I've missed you.
And your sweetheart, you've been like five years, right?
-No, eight years. -Eight years, eight years?
Damn, I didn't--
-I know, time flies, doesn't it? -Oh, damn.
And I've never--I don't think I've ever even met him.
What's his name?
-Brian. -Ryan or Brian?
-Brian. -Brian, okay.
Well, sooner or later, sooner or later...
-I'm glad you came back. -I am the worst fucking...
It's been waiting on you.
-Just picked it up. -What did I say?
-A lot has happened. -Yeah, yeah.
Well, you and I haven't been in touch.
Right.
Are you still--are you still cooking?
-Absolutely. -All right, I'll find you there.
-You can come by. -I might, I might.
-Definitely. -At least for a stop by.
-Yes! -Okay, you know, I need your phone number,
'cause I have--I lost that two cell phones ago.
Well, you got me on Facebook.
Yeah, that's true.
All right, John's taking his pants off.
Does anyone have a problem with that?
John wants to take his pants off.
John wants to take his pants off?
All right.
Okay, I feel like taking my pants off.
Well, OK. I feel much better. Thank you, John. Feel much better.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah. -Yeah, I know.
What kind of a-- what kind of a party is it
if an Australian guy doesn't take his pants off?
I've been saying that for years.
Rikki, come on back after your show.
All right. I'll sing a duet with you if you come back after your show.
Okay, now if you're gonna threaten me, I'm not coming.
It's the plumber.
I've come to fix the sink.
Shay, woo!
Shay!
-Hey. -There's my girl.
How you doing?
Did Rikki go out the back?
-Hi sweetie. -Hey, how are you?
How's my baby boy?
-I love you. -He's good.
Um, actually I'm pissed off at him.
I tell you what, this is getting complicated.
-Shay looks more motivated. -There we go.
Here we go.
And Marc's bartending career ends on a whimper rather than a bang.
Yup, it was fun while it lasted, you bastards.
There we go.
I still want my fucking dance.
Uh, I want a pony but I'm not gonna get one anytime soon.
If you shovel enough shit, you will.
♪ Waltzing Matilda ♪
♪ Waltzing Matilda, something you'll come Waltzing Matilda with me ♪
♪ And they sang and they danced as they something about a billa-bong ♪
♪ You'll come Waltzing Matilda with me ♪
Don't forget your brown bag full of explosives.
That was so cute.
You gotta wait. We gotta do that shit all at the same time.
-I can't wait. -We ready?
I know how it works.
You gotta, you know.
That is what I thought it was.
Cheers.
Wait, wait.
You ready?
-Cheryl. -Cheers, love you, babe.
Love you too, sweetie.
Yes, all right.
Right.
-Have a safe trip. -Fuck it.
Safety first.
-Safety first! -Yeah, darling.
I'm out.
Thank you. I'll take a hug.
-Safety first. -Thank you, man.
I'll be seeing all you weirdos again.
Give me a hug, Pam.
You've always been the sweetest bartender ever.
It's all the booze I give you, that's why you like me.
Marc, you're an asshole, but you're my asshole.
Oh, I've always wanted to be your asshole.
Can you get on all fours and let me ride you back?
I want to--I want to spank you, ride the wild horse,
'cause you're the wild horse of the whole fucking gang.
We gonna spank you and ride the horse.
Ooh yeah, ooh yeah!
Stay close.
Stay close and check in in two hours.
You gonna be in the alley?
-Hanging out? -Yeah.
Do you understand what I said?
Check in with me in two hours or I'll send 'em after you.
And, Tra, if you see Pam out in the alley, head the other direction.
Walk the other way.
She's on a roll tonight.
...pull the wool over my eyes.
I might decide to check in in two hours.
If you don't, Tra, you know what's up.
-Do what I said. -Cockblocked.
That's what I heard.
-That's your boy? -That's my boy.
Oh yeah, he came in at 3 AM this morning.
He came in at 3 AM this morning for the first time in his life,
and looked at me like, "What?"
but there's a no parking sign and a traffic cone in my backyard...
...with their names in Sharpie on it.
But I know that they better not be out again, and I got the gate keys and they're not allowed to get it.
And I'm putting those Coke bottles that are broke on top of it or something like them other people do.
Oh!
Like, I don't know what to do with him right now.
All I can do is love him and worry.
I worry for him out in the city, you know?
Yeah.
Hey bud, just giving you a call here, man.
I just wanted to hear about your afternoon deal, man,
what--what the deal was,
see if you was able to get those good groceries.
Hey Pete, you got the keys?
-No. -That's it.
Einstein trying to figure out how to shut off the lights.
So anyway, brother, give me a holler.
Big believer in Murphy.
Got it, let's go.
That's it, dude. One at Sunny's, then I gotta hit up Lyla at the Can-Can.
Okay.
You must have some song you love more than any other.
Everybody does.
You like, uh...
-Oh! -Oh, yeah, that "Jack Daniels, If You Please"?
Wish y'all would pick something worth a damn.
I miss bartending.
I know you do, girl.
-Sometimes. -I will miss it.
You will, trust me.
All right, now we're gonna have to wait for a minute 'cause this--
whatever this is is gonna have to finish playing.
Okay, but I don't have to wear a hat.
No, you don't have to wear a hat.
That wasn't part of the deal.
You're all right, baby.
You gonna be all right tonight?
-I'm gonna be fine. -Oh, don't--oh, man.
Tired of being here.
Nothing to hold me back anymore.
He's gone, Tra's good, I'm ready.
Been here too long.
Man, and you got to do it too.
-Gots to. -Got to.
-I'm excited. -I was--I was able to do that
and I just enjoyed the hell out of it.
Where'd you go?
Well, when I was...
twenty-three maybe, two or three or four, two, three, four,
and they put me--my first seven years, I had 27 different addresses,
and they were all over the Southeast.
And then I went to Los Angeles and Denver.
It was hard on marriages, don't get me wrong,
but it was fun like a sumbitch.
How many times you been married?
I...
uh, legally twice.
How many was pretend?
It was like--it was like a couple, it was three or four or five?
I would think, that would be my first guess.
Jesus.
You know, little mistakes like that are okay.
It's okay to fuck up.
It's okay to be wrong.
It's okay, you just wipe the slate clean and...
What did you write down?
Pam, Pam?
Pam, what did you write down on the board?
The board that they erased, what did you write down that got erased?
-Nothing! -Nothing, you had nothing you regretted?
-No. -They wasted that board?
When I was a kid, I wrote on the chalkboard,
"What do you wanna do when you grow up?"
I said, "Be immature."
So I already wrote mine down when I was five.
-What did you do? -Did they erase that?
No, I was already immature.
That was my dream in life.
The American dream.
Immature.
That's me.
Dumb blonde, stupid Pam.
You know what?
It's all good.
I have more fun than all of y'all ever have in your life.
I doubt that.
Come on!
Kamari!
Oh, that's my little brother!
Hi darling, I'll be right with you.
And that's my bigger brother.
I ain't really that much bigger.
-Uh huh. -I'm a little bit bigger.
A little bit.
How you doing, baby?
You look so handsome.
Thank you, I feel beautiful today.
Good.
God damn, you look awesome.
-Hey darling. -Hi.
-Thank you. -Those are for you?
Last time I got the couch,
but I don't know if she got the bed,
'cause you didn't invite me to the bed.
-The couch here? -Gave me the couch.
His couch or this couch?
Because this couch is my couch.
No, he told me his couch.
So what city is Melbourne,
like, if you could compare it to, like, an American city?
-New York. -New York, okay.
All right.
Doesn't sound bad though.
I want to ask you something.
-Okay. -Come here.
I mean, just imagine New York in proximity to kangaroos.
What's up with the brown bag?
Don't ask about the brown bag.
I'll get it from you at some point,
and that will be that.
I am part of the most fucking entitled, selfish, privileged generation ever to ruin the planet.
And--yeah, I personally am a big loser on that one.
I'm sorry, I--I overslept one morning and...
I overslept one morning and the bottom fell out of manufacturing.
I'm really sorry.
Is it your fault that my Cadillac is so shitty?
Uh, no, that wasn't me.
That was my neighbor.
Your neighbor?
I--I listen to people bitch about how entitled and whiny and privileged twenty-somethings are,
and fuck that, fuck that.
The only way this planet is gonna survive maybe is if everybody my age and older dies
before everything is destroyed.
Not the planet, but the species.
-You're right about-- -Whichever, the planet...
The planet will go on happily without us,
but, uh, you're right, for humans to do well, y'all need to go.
If would mercy kill me tonight, that would be good.
You know what, I'm gonna-- I got a few things I'm gonna say about it.
Say I'm a trillionaire, billionaire, whatever.
And I pay for all my campaigns...
Don't need the money.
Don't know a damn thing about politics.
Do you think he will make a good president?
I'm gonna tell you right--Trump.
-Trump? -Yeah.
You know what's gonna happen?
Two things gonna happen.
They will either impeach his ass
or somebody gonna assassinate him just like they did Kennedy.
-The thing-- -I'm--you--you're interrupting me.
-I'm sorry. -I'm telling you what's gonna happen.
Okay, I'm glad you know.
A heap see, but a few know.
And I'm just telling you what I know.
You got the United States sending them our firepower.
-Good cooking? -Yeah.
-Good company? -Yeah.
-Some wine. -Plenty of beer.
It's Thanksgiving every day.
-Every day. -Every day.
Every day.
Fuck the turkey, let's eat some steak.
Fuck the steak, let's drink some beer and smoke some weed
and drink some beer.
Tomorrow's another day.
-Tomorrow's another day. -Tomorrow's another day.
And let all these kids figure it out themselves,
-But they're smoking weed and drinking beer too. -I know.
But they're not listening to us.
They never had it hard like we did.
They never had to go out and milk the goats and go out and bail hay.
-I never had it hard. -And they never had to fucking load hay bails.
They never had to work like we did, none of them, not one of 'em.
We worked hard.
They don't even know what work is.
God, how did that--how did that beer get so empty so fast?
-'Cause when you get in the military, you can get a... -Same here, that's why I went.
You can get a better education...
Well, I mean, that's what they-- that's what the government like to sell us,
like, "Come fight for us, we'll 'take care of you.'"
-Not to fight, hey, just hang out. -Yeah.
What it--what it was for me in 2000,
"Hey, just hang out here, we're gonna teach you some cool skills,
you'll get to serve your country, no wars."
Last thing that happened was the Cole.
You're fine, everything's fine.
And then next thing you know, you're in war for 15 years.
Yeah.
Horseshit.
Stupid wars, mostly.
We liked it, though.
It's good for a lot of people.
It's good for people. I'm glad I did it.
I learned a lot.
You like it, I love it.
I'm glad I did it.
All right, boys, I'll be back.
Twenty dollars, who's got Adderall?
No one? No one's got Adderall?
And why is it you need money again?
Um, we need extra chips.
Mm-hm.
-Oh really? -I bet.
I love you. I seen that cigar wrapper outside.
You didn't see nothing.
Thank you for checking in.
I told you I'd check in.
Clean out your fingernails.
I know they're dirty.
They're gross.
I'm just glad I got to know you
because you been right here on my heart ever since.
And when you lost your wife...
Listen.
I don't want to go there and I don't want to hurt you.
I lost my son, you lost her.
We have stuff in common.
The biggest thing that meant anything to us.
And you've always been there.
And I love her.
I'm gonna tell you this.
You know what, I gotta tell you.
I'm not over her yet.
-I'm not. -I lost my son and you picked me up.
Then you lost her.
And you never quit caring about me
and I wasn't there for you.
I wish I could have been.
I wish I could have been there like you were for me.
You were there for me and I wasn't there for you.
I wish I would have been there for you
like you were there for me.
-It's all right. -You're so special.
"Hey Paul, can you get me some toilet paper?
I got a bad situation here!"
Sure.
Holy shit.
Where is that--where's that balloon that says "the end"?
Let me get you right in front of this, where it says "the end."
Hang on, hang on.
Uh, uh, uh, what are--uh!
You are...
Profile, profile.
This is as profile as my neck gets.
Turn your fucking chair.
-Come on. -Pam, Pam!
-Turn your chair. -Pam!
-I'll just take a picture. -Enough.
Believe me.
The end.
I don't need your face in there.
I don't need my face in there either, baby.
-Yo, but, dude, look, you gotta understand... -Just imagine that.
It only takes five ounces of plutonium to change the balance of the earth.
And some of these countries--yeah, but some of these, including us,
us alone, we own over, like, fucking-- it's a lot of fucking plutonium.
The white trash fucking garbage person that I am, that's what I fucking want.
-You want us to have Fireball. -Fuck yeah I do.
You think I'm better than Fireball? I'm not.
You don't look 60.
-Yeah, I'm 60. -You don't look it.
Look at my titties.
Oh, wow!
Sixty-year-old titties.
Those don't--don't seem like 60--
Sixty.
I'm 60 years old.
Those are not--I'll say they're like a solid, like, 30.
Sixty.
Sixty-year-old titties.
They look really--those are good titties.
-Really? -Those are good titties.
-So I'm not fallen yet? -No, those are good titties.
-You should be proud of those. -I've see nutsacks farther than that.
Nutsacks are--an eight-year-old's nutsacks look worse than your titties.
I divorced a man one time because his nutsack hung down past his dick.
-That's crazy. -Oh, it was the saggiest fucking nuts I ever saw.
He didn't exercise enough.
-I didn't... -You know what you gotta do?
-Look. -That's some bad nuts.
When I grew up, they said,
"We must, we must, we must improve our bust.
The bigger the better, the tighter the sweater.
And you do it every day, you get titties like this when you're 60.
-I mean, the titties, those are nice titties. -You're into titties now?
But you're fine?
But you're gonna be fine, I mean? Like...
No, no, I'll be fine.
How much drinking are we gonna do?
I'm gonna do a fuckton of drinking
and I plan on doing some cocaine too.
Let's wait for the--hey, hey, Felix.
I get it. Hey dude.
Fuck.
Listen, when you're crossing the street, whether you're right or wrong,
stay in motion.
That's how that's done.
Yeah.
Yeah!
♪ You surely took some blows ♪
♪ And you did it your way ♪
♪ Now tell me why you're the man ♪
♪ Oh, easy now ♪
♪ If he don't help himself ♪
♪ Then let me leave you with it ♪
♪ He has not ♪
♪ Any time he cannot say the things ♪
♪ That he truly feels ♪
♪ I'm not the one ♪
♪ Lord go back down ♪
♪ To the record store ♪
♪ Let it show you took some love ♪
♪ And did it your way ♪
This is my boyfriend, this is Brian.
Brian, this is Al, she used to bartend here.
Girl, I haven't been in here since you were working here.
But you know what?
You know what?
White, black, Mexican.
When you get out, that's what bothers me,
we're all paranoid.
-Yes. -When you get out.
There's nobody there to back--
we don't have a home, all our friends have moved away
and you spent all that time.
There's nobody there, nobody.
And you try to find a job, there's no jobs.
And you just sit there and drink that.
It doesn't get you where you want to be.
And you know what hurts me more than anything,
is nobody appreciate the service that I did,
-what we did. -What we did.
And there's nowhere to go, there's no houses, no homes,
and everybody--when I went and applied for jobs,
they told me I was overqualified.
Yeah, overqualified.
Overqualified. I couldn't get a job.
How the hell can you be overqualified?
That doesn't--this is just-- but this is just a guy who brought the Olive--
wait, Olive Garden lady home.
How do we even know she works there?
-She's completely nude. -Let's see if she has a hat or something.
The guy thought he was doing a great thing by killing Lincoln.
Amazing, huh? But people don't know that.
You have to look into the history in detail.
I'm all right right now.
No you're not.
You're here.
But I don't know.
The thing that--
the thing that hurt me so bad, you know,
we served this country,
we fought for these people.
And they treat us like we're--
They treat us like shit.
And--and I--I think about it every day of my life.
Like, when you get lonely, you have no friends,
you can always come to this bar.
-And feel like family. -And feel like family.
You know what--you know what I'm talking about?
I know exactly.
And...I fit in here.
And you, yeah.
-I know. -And I'm here with you.
Tra!
Come here.
What are you doin'?
Chillin' out in the alley eating beef jerky.
Let me smell your breath.
Told you I'm drinking b-- I'm eating beef jerky.
Don't let me catch you drinking again.
I'm not drinking.
I don't trust you.
I'm eating beef jerky, Mom.
-Are you all right? -Mm-hm.
Ain't nothing.
We won't be here for a little while longer.
People think we're already closed.
Stay out of trouble, okay?
♪ Drank down my last swallow ♪
♪ Know when to fold 'em ♪
♪ Know when to walk away, know when to run ♪
♪ You never count your money when you're sitting at the table ♪
♪ There'll be time enough for countin' when the dealin's done ♪
♪ You've got to know when to hold 'em ♪
♪ Know when to fold 'em ♪
I gotta get one spin in.
There we go.
I mean, is there any other place you go?
I mean, to get out?
You know I don't.
♪ Know when to walk away ♪
This is home and you're my family.
Believe me, I've got a shitty family.
Yeah, you must.
never mind, I don't feel like bitching every time I open my mouth.
That is a overused word.
I am somebody you hang out with in the bar.
I am not your family.
You know what I mean.
No, actually I don't.
You guys are--you guys are all I got.
Well, you do actually have a home where you sleep.
I've got a bed.
Do you have two?
No, I've got a bed.
-You have a couch? -I got a couch.
Do you use it very much?
You want a couch?
I like couches.
Oh--oh, oh, baby, oh, baby, oh, baby.
You all right, sweetheart?
You hold onto my shoulders.
Up, up, up, up, up.
Okay, all right, now, you all right?
We're gonna take your glasses with us.
I've been better than ever.
All right, we are gonna-- we are gonna take a walk.
You can't kill bad grass.
I want you to ask your--I want you to ask yourself the question,
"Have I met my love?"
Have I met my love?
Just that.
-All right? -Ca-ca-ca-ca-caw.
Fuck y'all.
Have a nice day.
-Love you, Pam. -You too, Pam.
Tell 'em how you really feel, Pam.
Oh!
I feel--I feel--
Hey, y'all have a nice evening.
This is the last night and y'all enjoy yourselves.
I'll call you.
'Cause I'm gonna fuck myself all night long.
I'm gonna miss all y'all.
-Yeah, and I'm, I'm fuckin... -All right, that's good.
-All right, three cuts or two cuts... -I'll call you.
...to your left, one, two, and then re-stack it back up.
Ca-ca-ca-ca-caw.
All right, and the wait, no.
Okay, have you met-- have you met your love?
One or one yes or no question.
You okay?
No.
I'm sorry, no.
However many people you are in love with right now,
none of them is your love.
You have a little time to wait.
Shit, I oughta take you home with me.
Listen, I would tear your ass up.
Okay, you just gotta tear my ass up.
I'll be right there with it.
And then we'll make up-- we'll make up the next morning.
I bet I would, I would-- I'd destroy your ass, you know I would.
Do it.
-Look, you're happy. -I want you to do it.
Lord, look, you're sweet on me now, but just you wait.
I'm--I'm a--I'm a destroyer of men.
He's in love with a lot of people.
Yeah, me too.
the more people you're in love with the easier it is.
You don't think it's more complicated, that responsibility, man?
You're only responsible to your own heart,
so it's like one thing.
You don't feel-- you don't feel--
I'm not--I'm not in a relationship with everyone I'm in love with.
'Cause if you had met your love already, then you would have said it.
Yeah, I got a lot of life left to be very upset.
But, uh, in my head, I don't really believe that,
You got traditional values in the back of your head somewhere.
-Yeah, yeah, I gotta--I gotta-- -You just have to let that go.
Well, I'm able to operate as a person.
The best thing is to just get your heart totally smashed and broken a couple times
and then you're good, then you don't care anymore.
Hey, this is Pam, you Hot Pants.
I want to dance.
Leave me a message.
Hey, baby, I made it back to the bar, everything's all good,
and I'm fixing to stay here till we all done dancing
on down the road, bye.
You didn't come here to take a nap.
And we are not making out right now.
Ever?
But you will clean this bar up.
-With you. -You will clean this entire bar.
You throw one more piece of shit...
-You're cleaning this bar. -Fine.
Have you ever been to England, London?
That's one of my me--next things.
I have to do that and I also--Ireland.
I'm gonna do that within the next five years.
I know how to use a vacuum.
I bet you know how to use other things.
If you didn't know, you were gonna learn tonight.
I know how to wash dishes.
I'm a pretty good stepdad usually.
Oh, you trying to be stepdaddy to Tra?
I mean, I'm stepdad to, like, a bunch of other people's kids.
-Huh? -How is Tra?
Okay, stepdaddy, I could use some child support any day now.
Listen, are you trying to rap to this girl?
I am, most definitely.
Well, come straight up.
I mean, it's so boring for me to listen to this.
Give me your best, man.
Just tell the girl what you want and she'll tell you yes or no.
I'm also saying, like, you need to get your ass out there,
you got a lot of people that really like you and that...
And then I don't have to listen to this shit, you know,
otherwise I've gotta move to the other end of the bar.
-Move over boy. -Just watch out for her pretty little feet there.
(whistling Star Spangled Banner)
O-kay, get it together, son.
Get your shit together.
The hazards of the night.
Give me a second, I'm going on it.
The hazards of the night are hostile to us, all of us.
Even you.
Whose name I know.
And you, Bruce, whose name I know too.
-And to you. -How do you--how do you put me in that shit?
I'm telling you, I already got it in here.
How you bring me in that shit?
Indeed, many of us know many names.
So it's not surprising that some would have us stay at home a little longer to rest, to wait.
In this city of sin, here, this state of Nevada,
this grand faded oubliette of these United States
was not built by them who wanted and rested...
You can't even read.
I can too read, Bruce.
I ain't say you can't read, I said you can't read that.
This country was conquered by those who moved forward, and so will we.
-Say that. -I did say it.
Do it. Give me your card.
I wrote this earlier.
I know you wrote it.
But why, some say, the bar?
Why this bar?
-Why do we identify this as our joint? -I don't know why.
-Comfort. -I don't know.
-Comfort, maybe. -Comfort.
-What else? -Comfort.
-Oh, my God. -Accessibility.
-And... -Comfort and accessibility.
It's alcohol, it's the alcohol mostly.
It's all right, it's the alcohol and it's--
I'm gonna tell you what else it is.
It's a place where you can go when nobody else don't want your ass.
Motherfucker, it's in there, I got it worked in there.
That's where it's at.
When nobody else don't want your ass,
you can come in here and have a good time.
Nobody want my ass, so that's why I'm in here.
we must find somewhere else to get drunk.
Thanks to technology, the drinks are inside of us.
Thanks to Shay.
Yay!
I've done my job.
We ask God's blessing on this,
our last and hopefully our best evening.
-Is the last page? -I think so.
-Except, for me... -Oh, shit.
After this, I'm leaving the city, fuck y'all.
-This city sucks. -Fuck you too.
Y'all can get fucked.
-Thank you. -Ow!
Ladies and gentlemen...
-To the bar! -To the bar!
To the bar!
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
Dammit, I gotta light it on fire again.
Burn everything!
Woo!
Yeah!
Every time I came back to base I started to design this house.
But somehow I could never get it to look like my idea of it.
Now it almost does.
You just walk in, a stranger out of nowhere,
and for the first time it all lights up.
And I'm sure you know why.
Because you have the gift for life, Roslyn.
The rest of us, we're just lookin' for a place to hide and watch it all go by.
Amen.
Here's to your life, Roslyn.
I hope it goes on forever.
And yours, Isabelle.
Go, go, go, go.
Just one more thing and we can go back inside.
Well, there was gonna be cake, but now there's not cake no more.
That's it, that's it for the drugs.
That's called arrogance.
Just dance, dude, chill out.
-Shut the fuck up. -You shut the fuck up.
You've been out there with my kid.
Is he okay?
Yeah, he's fine.
-No, he's not drunk. -"No, man, I hate those things.
-Why'd my mom show you?" -No, he's cool.
-Usually he's like, "Why did my mom show you that?" -He's really cool.
-I know. -I know.
-I raised him. -He's fucking cool as fuck.
I know.
You look good, mama.
-No, he's a really fucking awesome kid. -I know.
Tra, slow down, slow down, dude.
Slow down.
I think I should go dance with John.
I probably should dance with John.
Where is he?
Come here.
I think I gave him too much acid.
-Come dance with me. -Come on.
Yeah!
You have to.
Yes.
Terrible awfulness.
Yes, that's what I'm talking about.
Thank God for your fucking James Murphy.
Okay.
Thank you. Who gave him a beer?
-Will you do me a favor? -Yes.
Will you go outside and tell him,
in the presence of whoever's there,
that if I catch anybody giving him alcohol...
-I already did that. -That's their ass.
-I already did that. -All right.
Make it good. Make it good.
-Thanks, baby. -I love you, Michael.
-Thank you for the dance. -Always good to see you.
I'll put you--I'll put you two in touch.
All right, please do.
All right.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. -Okay.
-Yeah. -My driver is here.
Your driver. I mean, I figured, but...
My designated driver is with me, so I'm all good.
All right.
See you later.
I don't wanna dance.
Fuck.
I spoke--
I don't--I don't know,
ya tell me something.
-One thing. -Anything.
Because your--your mind is an interesting mind.
Why are you so mad at me?
Everything you say to me is an insult.
-You are older. -Yeah.
That's the number one issue.
The number one reason I'm older--I'm mad at you is because you're old--old guy.
-Right. -And I think your generation
destroyed my country.
How young is your grandkids?
I don't have grandkids.
I don't have kids, I don't have grandkids.
I look after old ladies and I clean houses
and I contribute to my world and fuck you.
Now you can blame me generationally as much as you want,
and it's appropriate to do so,
because my generation fucked up.
But if you continue-- if you continue to condense--
-I'm ready--I'm ready to fight right away, right away. -Oh, fuck you.
-If you continue... -I will fight you in a second.
-It's for TV, I don't care. -Shut up, shut up, you little punk.
Shut up, you little self-involved punk.
You got--you got nothing, man, you got nothing.
I got more than you do.
Everybody's getting along tonight, right?
Yep, not bad.
I represent all evil.
-As long as it's not in my bar. -That's awfully judicious.
That seems awfully judicious.
You don't represent evil.
You represent, uh, didn't do shit.
No, I'm worse than evil, I don't give a fuck about your evil.
I've heard what you've got.
-You know, suck a dick, man. -Yeah, I've heard.
Yeah, I offered that too.
You should have done better.
♪ Our noses right off our faces ♪
♪ Won't be nothing but big old hearts dancing in our eyes ♪
I'm serious, suck a dick actually.
David, you want your dick sucked, say the word.
I mean, like, you was bad at being alive
and your generation is bad at that too.
You upset as well?
Whatever, I don't give a god damn.
I'll catch you, bro.
Trust fall.
Trust fall, don't worry. I'm not gonna put my knee out.
Come on, bro, I got you.
-Aw, dude. -I didn't catch you, bro.
I'm fucked up.
'Cause when I wake up, you're not there.
What?
That's just how my life is now.
And you drink Cape Cods, dude.
What?
Pete.
Pete!
Don't yell at me, man.
Pete.
You all right, darlin'?
We ain't gotta worry about it after tonight.
That feels real.
Too real.
What do you want to drink, darlin'?
Iceberg!
-It won't do any good-- -You all right, baby?
You want a shot of Peppermint Schnapps?
You know how much I love you?
I like for you to tell me over and over.
Girl...
I think you're the best.
The best?
The best.
You know--you know what it is, do you?
'Cause you serve me when I'm drunk.
-Goodnight, Bruce. -Goodnight, all y'all.
Peace be unto you.
Peace be unto you, too.
Love all y'all.
You have to get up.
You have to actually get up.
Shh, I'm getting up.
I'm getting up.
I know, you're helping me-- oh, that's better.
You're helping me get up.
Jesus.
I didn't think I was ever gonna fall asleep.
You just fell asleep, now you have to get up.
Shh.
Stop saying that, I'm awake.
You're awake but you have to get up.
And you've gotta get out of here.
-You've gotta get up. -You--no, no, no, shut up a second.
All right, what?
You gotta get out of here.
Out of where?
-This bar? -Yes.
How old am I?
I don't know.
I know, I don't want to play that game.
-45. -Right, shut up.
I'm 58.
-That's tough, man, shit. -Shut up.
I'm 58, I look like I'm 70.
Uh-huh.
Right?
Right? Right?
Kind of.
Come on.
So, I mean, that's not a bad thing.
You gotta get out of here.
People want a lot out of their last nights.
...from their last presentations.
Hey, darlin', are you okay?
Do you remember me?
Shay?
Look at me.
Hello.
It's not how I wanted this to end, but, hey, whatever.
It's not endin', it just began.
I used to--I used--I used to--
I used to be an actor.
-Uh-huh. -Uh-huh.
And I used to be pretty good at it.
Now what, now what?
Now I'm asleep here.
-All right? -Okay.
And I'm not an actor anymore.
You just quit or you quit a while ago?
I quit a while ago.
And now I just come to the bar, yes, exactly.
You're figuring it out.
You're a bright boy, you're figuring it out.
You need to get out of here while you're still a musician.
Just out of this bar?
Stop.
Yeah, all right, yeah, that's a good start, that's a good start.
Get out of this bar and don't go into another one.
And don't go into another one after that.
All right?
'Cause you, come on,
'cause you're still young
and you can still do...
You can still do something other than what I've done.
All right?
And there is nothing, I promise you,
'cause I have looked,
there is nothing more boring,
there is nothing more "Oh, my fuck, is he ever gonna go away"
than a guy who used to do stuff
who doesn't do stuff no more
because he's in a bar.
All right?
Yeah, yeah.
You promise?
No, I don't promise anything.
Come on, come on, please.
If you promise me, I'll get up.
Honest to God, man, this is gonna fuck you up.
Anybody want a drink, a shot, tell a story?
I don't want to be your girlfriend, Pete.
Do you not want to make out?
-That's cool. -I have drugs all the time.
I don't care.
Hey.
I want to dance.
Leave me a message.
We could just kill you.
That would be awesome.
Don't kill my roommate.
Y'all seem like a bunch of dingdongs, I'm not gonna lie.
No, let's get wild, I don't care.
I'm wild.
You got something strong in you?
You got some extra power?
You seem like an old Einstein type of cat,
don't got no sense at all.
No, don't fucking play into that fucking shit too.
You got some flavor? If you got flavor, baby, I'm ready for some flavor.
You seem weak as fuck.
Whatever, like, you ain't got nothing I guess?
You seem like two weak motherfuckers, actually.
That's my reckoning of this shit.
Like, I ain't got to worry about you at all.
-That's my thought. -No, you don't have to worry.
That's my thought.
That's my thing.
Stay on your side. Stay on your side.
I'm coming, let's go, let's fight, let's get wild.
Are you fighting my fucking, a fucking old man?
-This motherfucker is like 40 years older than you. -Come on, let's go outside.
I don't give a damn how old people are.
-I don't care about it. -You want to fight an old man?
-Let's go outside. -What is wrong with you mentally?
What is wrong with you mentally?
Do you want it? Do you want it yourself?
I don't want it, you want to punch me?
Hey!
Why do you want to fight an old man?
I've done told you twice.
He's an old man.
-You are a fucking old man. -Sit down.
Are you all weak bitches?
-Are y'all both weak bitches? -We're not weak.
-Don't touch my shit. -Yo!
-I'll kill you. -No one wants to fight.
Yo!
No violence, dude.
-I'll gonna fuck you up bad, son. -You want to fight?
-You want to just-- -We'll go outside.
-Yo. -Yeah?
You need to leave.
I probably do.
I agree. Come here.
Sit right here until I call you a cab.
Well, you're not starting shit anymore tonight.
So you can either sit down and wait for your cab
They've been starting shit for my taste.
I'm happy to. Let me get my drink.
I agree, right there.
You don't have to hand it me, son, Australia,
go on, stay in your own joint.
It doesn't require commentary.
I'll give you some commentary.
Wow, are you trying to kill me?
I'll do it.
-That was--that was too much acid. -What's going on out my door?
-The number of acids need to be less. -I don't know what's going on.
What is his problemo?
Yo, I'm confused, I don't know.
Do I have to go like get-- get in a street fight at the end?
-That'd be awesome. -You wanna have a smoke with me, darlin'?
-Huh? -You wanna smoke with me real quick?
I gotta take care of my customers.
I'm gonna call you a cab though.
No, no, I'm fine.
I think...
I--I have no problem fighting at all.
Let him out here, I'll be sweet.
Let's--it'll be--
No, not right now.
I won't beat him up.
Are you sure? 'Cause I--
Get your ass over there, stop.
I stopped needing people to fight my battles for me when I was 12.
I'm not fighting your battle.
-I just-- -I will send you out the back door.
-Let me go. -I know, I'm just trying to hang out with you.
The only reason I fucking hang out here.
Go sit down.
God dammit.
The hell?
All right.
Can I just play a different song on the jukebox than this fucking shit?
-What? -I don't express my opinion.
-Dude, I'm-- -Him and Harry are--he--
they're like fucking around all night long.
I was almost asleep too.
Can you give me a pen so I can write all this?
You okay, baby?
Yes, he's fine.
What's up?
I played this song for you!
It's the only god damn song I can fuckin' play in the world.
Thank you.
I'm not joking about anything at all.
Sure you are, Pete.
No, I'm not.
Yeah.
My mom has been dead for 20 years.
It's cool.
What?
Yeah, we're good.
I hang out--I hang out in cemeteries for 20 years.
Thank you for all your hospitality.
Anytime.
-It was good while it lasted. -It was good while it lasted.
While it lasted.
Godspeed to you all.
Godspeed, Bo.
Woo!
It's the most Christian rock band that ever existed.
So, sorry that...
I don't know, dude, I went to church last Sunday.
-I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. -You did?
-I don't think any of that was my fault. -Where's your car?
It's right there.
You gonna drive?
I'm thinking about it.
Are you sure?
None of that shit was my fault.
That was fuckin' Pete.
Let me see how the keyhole feels.
I could drive if you want me to.
Uh...
Man, you're not particularly adept when you're sober.
I mean, you just tried to fight a man with eyes tattooed on his eyelids.
That doesn't mean I'm drunk, that means I'm right.
I don't wanna drive.
I've spent way more time in church than all of you motherfuckers this week.
You out?
-Even me? -John?
Happy trails.
We have a huge slowdown on the 15
specifically the slowdown right now in the southbound direction.
The lane restriction's in place in both directions,
so right now the backup is...
Are you hungry at all or no?
No, but I wouldn't mind a piece of cake.
I got french fries, I'm just eating this and french fries.
So what's that, a milkshake?
-I know, but... -They're very hot, so be careful.
-I know-- -Thank you so much.
Okay, how are you doing?
And that piece of chocolate cake over there, when you get a chance.
What kind of milkshake: strawberry, chocolate, or vanilla?
-Vanilla, vanilla. -You want vanilla? Okay.
You want--and you want whipped cream then, right?
-The sweeter the better. -Yeah, okay.
Just keep adding to it, don't worry.
Y'all, I've been sitting here this whole time thinking that palm tree is real.
And I think it's a fucking light.
It is, it's a fucking fake light.
Yo.
Hello, darlin', this is Louis, darlin'...
I'm freaking fried.
Me too.
Yes, Dana and Beth, I feel like you're gonna agree with me,
"I remember when Planet Hollywood used to be the Aladdin,"
and anyone who lives in Las Vegas for a while has those kinds of memories,
so construction, nothing unusual for us,
but Clark County says that the amount of construction...
Hey, darlin'.
Hey.
Michael.
Michael. You gotta get up.
Time to go.
Come on.
Oh, I'm sorry.
-Come on, let me get you something to drink. -I gotta clean up, I gotta clean up.
Let me go--I--I--I'm sorry, I just...
It's okay, don't worry about it.
You want all this just thrown out?
Don't worry about it. Here, I'm gonna get you a drink, okay?
I got it, I'm gonna be here a while anyway.
Whoa.
Jesus.
Is John gone?
Everybody's gone, boo.
Thought about going to the Carolinas.
Have you ever been to Myrtle Beach?
Yeah, I've got family that's staying out there right now.
I'm about to move to Oregon.
I don't know, Virginia Beach is really nice.
I don't like the pebbles in the sand.
Really? See, I really liked it, I enjoyed it.
People are very nice there.
You gonna be okay drivin'?
You don't know nothin' about me, do you?
Huh?
I don't know, maybe I'll go to Spain and watch those bulls.
That sounds cool.
-Can I come? -Absolutely.
You know you would never leave all this.
I will miss the holidays here.
It's just special, everybody always comes out and...
You had a nice place here.