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Get one that's funny but not too funny.
This doesn't seem to be a joking matter.
They look like you.
I don't think getting my girl a card with another family on it
is the right way to go on this one, kid.
What about this one?
No. Cats. Definitely, yeah, cats.
Right, 'cause I'm a dog, a bad dog.
This one?
What's it say on the inside?
It says cool cats
and then there's some cats playing musical instruments.
[laughs]
-That's stupid. -I don't get it.
It's like cool cats, right?
It's a play on the word cats
because they're playing jazz and back in the day
guys would refer to friends or cool people as cats.
So, like cool cats.
Oh, yeah. Kind of like nigga.
No, wait, no. Why would you? No. No. No. Okay?
-No. Don't say that word. -Why not?
Because it's a bad word for reasons you don't know yet
and if you say it again, I'll hit you.
No, you won't.
[chuckles]
Yes, I will.
Ni... Ow!
I told you.
Can't hit me. I'm only nine.
-Does it hurt? -Yes.
Good. You just learned a very valuable life lesson.
Yeah, cause and effect.
Every action has a reaction
that you may or may not be able to control.
You touch a hot stove, you might burn your hand.
You run across the street without looking,
you might get hit by a car.
You say the N word around black people
you might get thumped in the ear,
punched in the kidney, right? But now you know,
you got to think about what you do or say before you do it.
Makes sense?
Kind of.
Hey, listen. Hey, I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have done that. Let me see. Let me see.
Ow! What did you do that for?
'Cause it looks like you still kind of want to say it
and I want you to know what happens
if you even think about saying it.
You'll thank me later in life, I promise.
Okay, I won't say. I won't think about saying it.
Geez! I'm sorry.
Hey, look, man. I'm sorry, okay? Let me see.
-No, no, not this time. -There you go, boom.
You know, fuck it.
I'll just get this one.
-You want anything? -No, thanks.
Here. Put that on your ear.
[upbeat music playing]
[alarm ringing]
[phone beeps]
Uh, hey.
Oh, hey. Uh,
tell Katie to call me when she gets up, yeah?
-I have to go to work. -[Katie] I'm up.
Thanks for letting us come over so late.
You are the best.
[tranquil music playing]
[Dr. Jones] And how does that make you feel?
I hate when you ask me that.
[Dr. Jones] This is therapy, Gabe. It's kind of part of my job.
I don't know, fine, great, terrible, empty. I don't know.
I'm single though, right?
I should be able to do whatever I want to do.
I should feel great. You told me that.
I think I told you that you need to learn to let go
and be present and enjoy the moment sometimes, yes, but--
You know, the threesome, it wasn't even my idea.
It was theirs and yours.
It was not my idea.
Being single is just as stupid as being in a relationship.
Like they rode away on a scooter, Doc.
Like a regular ass scooter.
Why did you and Millie break up?
We're just taking a small break right now.
Define that, a break.
We just, uh, we just...
We just got to figure some things out.
[Dr. Jones] Okay, can you expand on that a little bit more?
Gabe, what makes you happy?
You know anything about dreams, animal dreams to be exact?
[Dr. Jones] A little, yeah. Why?
So, I had this dream the other day
and I'm riding my bike up this trail, right?
And it's starting to get dark
and I remember I got to get to the top before the sun sets
because pretty soon it's going to get too dark
to see in a little bit.
And, now, it's time to coast back down, slowly at first
and then, all of a sudden, I started picking up speed.
And there's potholes and cracks and shit everywhere.
And on top of that, right, my brakes stop working.
So now, here I am, flying down this uneven path
with people all in the way
and I realize I either got to just jump off this motherfucker
or I got to ride out and just see what happens.
And I decide to jump.
And then, right before I jump, I look over
and it's an elephant running full speed
with a skunk on his back staring right at me.
Then he puts his trunk out, trips my bike,
I go flying in the air,
about to land on a pile of rocks and probably die
and then I wake up. What's that all mean, Doc?
-Do you have these dreams often? -No.
[Dr. Jones] Animals in your dream, all have various meanings and symbolism,
but let me think on that a little bit.
I'll get back to you next week.
Okay.
All right, time's up. What's my homework?
[Dr. Jones] Your homework is to really spend some time
and find the answer to what I asked you.
[Gabe] Which is what?
What makes Gabe happy?
-I don't know. -[Dr. Jones] I know.
That's why it's your homework.
-See you next Wednesday? -See you next Wednesday.
[elevator dings]
Nice kicks.
[upbeat music playing on piano]
Hey, hon. Hi.
-How was your session? -[Alec] Fine.
Good.
Good. Glad to hear that.
Well, I hope you're hungry because Wednesday's--
Humpty hamburger day. I know.
Well...
[door opens]
Hey, there champ! How's your session, huh?
[grunting]
-Fine. -Fine, yeah.
It was. That's what I like to hear, huh.
I'm going to go to my room and work on my homework
until dinner is ready. Is that okay?
Yeah, you don't need to ask permission to do your homework.
Just do me a favor and keep the door open.
[door closes]
-It smells good in here. -Hmm.
[Randy] We have any hamburgers.
[teacher] That's a really good job, Alec. Keep it up.
That's really good.
Okay, everybody, tomorrow we're going to talk about
how all the slaves were freed by Harriet Tubman.
Have a good lunch. Bye.
Hey, dick-breath.
Leave me alone, Jason.
I'll do whatever I want dick-breath, my dad's a cop.
-My name's Alec. -[Jason] It used to be.
Then I changed it to dick-breath
and now, now, it's shithead.
I'm pretty sure it's still Alec.
Nope, definitely shithead.
[Alec] Ow!
[kids laugh]
Get it. [laughs]
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten,
11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 19...
[mumbles]
[upbeat music playing]
[Gabe] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good. That's good.
That's what I'm talking about. Right, well done, everybody.
You know what the time is not for you. That's okay.
Yes, good job. You're almost there. Let's go.
Ah, here we go. Get 'em. Let's go.
Yeah, big dog. Bang it out. Come on. We're almost done.
Okay. Eight...
Five, four, three, huh, who wants to be sexy...
Two, one. That's time. There we go.
Everybody get some water, real quick, real quick.
Let's go. Good job. Good job. Good job. Well done.
[sighs]
You know I started following her on Instagram.
She posted a throwback Thursday
and she's had that butt since she was a teenager.
Just a perfect butt like Kim and Chloe.
It's not fucking fair.
I don't...
I don't think their butts are real.
Whatever.
What do you even know about butts anyway?
[woman 1] Ouch!
Why, what's wrong?
Oh, it's just my hamstrings are really tight today.
Do you want to stretch it out for me?
Uh, yeah. Sure.
You know, you don't want to play around with hammies.
[woman 1] Right. Thank you.
It's just you are so good at this.
Yeah, do you, um, do you do home sessions?
All right, I think you're good.
[Gabe] Women are full of shit, Doc.
I know we're not allowed to say it now, but it's true.
Talking about, "My hamstring's hurt."
I knew there wasn't nothing wrong with her damn hamstrings.
You want to have a seat, Gabe?
Like, like nobody's happy in a relationship. Nobody.
Why, why is she getting married if she's out doing that, huh?
I'll tell you why 'cause nobody's happy.
She's not happy.
She's only getting married 'cause that's what society tells you got to do.
You go out, you marry somebody you barely tolerate,
you have some badass kids to overcompensate,
then they grow up move out the house, they stop calling you
and now you're stuck with this person
who you didn't even like for the rest of your dying days.
Oh, wait! Unless you want to get a divorce
and then they just take half your shit.
Oh, and even better, now you get to watch the kids grow up
and make the same stupid-ass mistakes you did.
And then you've just, you just got to lie to them
and say stuff like, "It'll get better."
Really, what you should say is,
"I never should have gotten married, or had your ass,
or stayed at my job as long as I did.
And now, I'm fat and old and nobody cares
and just fucking everybody's stupid."
[sighs]
[Dr. Jones] Are there any solid examples of love in your life?
Yeah, yeah. I love Twix ice cream bars.
And I'm being serious, Gabe.
Okay, my parents have been married for 35 years
and love each other so much, they sleep in separate bedrooms.
I've never even seen my parents kiss.
You know what my mom did last week
to show my pops how much she loved him?
She purposely didn't pay the cable bill
just so he missed game five of the finals.
How's that for a solid example of love?
Do you think you and Millie will end up this way,
just like your parents?
[Gabe] 'm just saying like "Love ain't enough, Doc."
And whatever love they had is long gone.
My mom should have left my father years ago and she didn't,
so now she resents him.
And my dad, he's guilty about some shit
that happened a long time ago,
so whatever nonsense my mother puts him through,
he just thinks he deserves it.
So, he won't leave either.
Like I said, everybody's stupid.
Is it possible that that's a reason why you revealed to me
that you tend to drive relationships away?
I'm saying like what if Millie is really happy with me
and I'm really happy with her and everything is great
and she still goes out and fuck's a trainer from LA Fitness
and let's my cable get cut off?
There are plenty of happy relationships out there.
You've got to water the garden.
There...
It can be fun if you're doing it with the right person.
It just takes work.
What? No!
I hate when people say that shit.
Relationships take work. No, they don't.
You know what takes work?
Work, right?
I don't wanna go to work and come home
and work on some more shit. No, no, no.
I want my relationship to be anti-work.
Fuck work and fuck gardens.
Gabe, you know, I, um...
did a little more research on your dream.
Elephants, right?
"Elephants represent a part of you
that may be having a tough time
letting something go from the past,
or that you need to be more patient
with something or someone.
Its trunk is also a phallic symbol
for sexual needs and desires
yours, or perhaps someone else's."
Conversely, the elephant's introverted personality
may be a reflection of your own personality.
Okay, so what about the weird-ass skunk on his back?
[Dr. Jones] A skunk is an interesting animal actually.
A skunk's natural defense is to repel
without causing deadly harm.
So, the skunk could represent you driving people away
or turning them off.
Okay. So why was the elephant running so fast down the hill?
I don't know, Gabe.
Maybe things are moving a little too quickly for you.
Maybe things are getting out of control
and you don't like not being in control, so what do you do?
You self-sabotage so no one else can do it for you.
You repel.
It's a form of control in and of itself.
It's like the student who doesn't study for an exam
and then he gets an F and then he convinces himself
that it's only because he didn't study
that he received a failing grade,
not because he didn't know the material.
Failure to try because of fear of failure
is worse than trying and failing.
Whatever fears you have,
whatever thoughts you're holding on to,
you have to find a way to let them go.
Okay.
-Hi. -Hey.
Damn, little man. What happened to your kicks?
I don't know. I guess I must have got them dirty
playing with my friends.
Huh.
Soap, water, a little toothpaste,
-it'll get it right out. -Really?
Yeah.
Huh.
-[Joanne] Good to know. -Yeah.
[elevator dings]
[announcer 1 on TV] They meet in the center of the ring
and here we go.
Alvarez, Walker. I think this fight is gonna...
It's gonna be done in the early round.
I think Alvarez is going to take Walker in the early round.
I know it's a five-round fight,
but I'm saying this round one is going to be his round.
It's classic Alvarez.
And then round two is going to be a--
[announcer 2 on TV] I fought Walker, I'm telling you
he's going to drag this thing to five.
He's going to drag it to five.
He's got power in his hands
and he's going to knock this boy out.
[announcer 1] You may just be right.
Your fight with Alvarez is what Walker was watching all camp.
You have the best shot with Alvarez.
I know Walker was looking at your fight
and thinking the exact same thing.
But I believe Alvarez, he is a Brazilian Ju-Jitsu black belt.
He is good at his job and there is no one more comfortable
in the middle of an octagon than Alvarez.
[announcer 2] Walker is going to be right there in the middle,
every single time.
He's gonna be able to take all of Alvarez's shots.
I'm telling you this is going to go five.
[announcer 1] And there's a really great kick by Walker
and Alvarez is hurt. Alvarez is hurt.
He is visibly hurt.
[announcer 2] He's got him on the cage. He's got him...
And this is where Walker is really damaged 'cause...
[announcer 1] And you can see Alvarez really trying
to compensate for that pain.
[announcer 2] He feels the--
[calm music playing]
Man, I don't know what you had me doing last time,
but I'm still sore.
I could barely lift my guitar.
-Work? -[Patrick] Yeah.
What was it? The super spi... Super spina?
Supraspinatus.
-Super spi... Spina... -Supraspinatus.
Supraspinatus.
Uh, it's great.
[grunts]
So, how's your business going? It's good?
Uh, yeah. Yeah, it's good.
Just trying to get some new clients
and, you know, get the word out, but, yeah, it's good.
[Patrick] That's great. Well, just let me know
if there's anything else you need me to do,
more money or anything.
I got you.
Oh, no, no. You've done more than enough.
Yeah, well, anything for a friend of Millie's.
How is she doing by the way? She's still taking pictures?
She's got such a great eye.
Yeah, no. She's, uh, she's great.
She's started taking a new photography class.
Pictures are getting better and better.
-[Patrick] Oh, good. -Yeah, now she's great.
So, I just bought this green earth energy company
that helps turn old straws and bottle caps
into cars and houses.
We're gonna launch it in Portugal before our next tour.
I was thinking about asking Millie to be
the artistic director for the campaign.
-You think she'd be into that? -Wow, to...
-Wow, in Portugal. -Yeah.
-To go with you? -Yeah.
Well, she took all these pictures.
I took a year off
and she and I went backpacking around the world,
all we had was what was in our packs, in our pockets.
Here, check this out.
-Shot this in Bali. -Hmm.
Have you been to Bali?
-Uh, no. -It's amazing.
And then, um, well, she caught this one
when we were on a sailboat in Jakarta.
Have you ever been to Indonesia?
No.
You got to travel, Gabe. See the world, it's incredible.
Here this one's my favorite.
So, we got caught in a massive storm in Tahiti
and we weren't able to leave that tent for two days.
-Millie. -Okay, here we go.
-Workout time. -Oh, sorry.
-Yep. -Um...
-Yep, yep, you got it. -Oh-ho-ho-ho.
[Millie] Oh, babe. You are not gonna believe some of the shots that I got.
I finally decided to get that new R-Adapter for my Leica,
the one my cousin got me for my birthday.
It is so dope, especially when the sun is setting.
-Cool. -Oh, and guess what else?
Kai got engaged. Anthony finally proposed.
He hired this whole like flash mob to do it,
so when they all started dancing, he joined in
and then he got down on one knee and popped the question.
Kai almost fainted, it was so cute.
I got it on video if you want to see it.
Okay.
What is it?
Is Marc trying to steal another one of your clients?
I told you he's gonna keep doing that if you don't say something.
That's nothing.
[Millie] Okay, you know I know you too well for that.
Okay, look, if you wanted something different,
I could have made something different.
Nope.
Gabe, what is it?
Why'd you have to introduce me to him?
No, Gabe. Come on.
-Please. -I just can't figure it out.
-I cannot figure it out. -Okay, look,
we have been over this a thousand times.
He's an old friend that I knew long before you,
mind you, and I thought I could help.
You said you were over this.
Yeah, well, clearly, I'm not over it
'cause this is what not over it looks like.
I mean, what, like what were you thinking?
Right, like how could I make some not awkward shit
as awkward as possible?
Oh, I know, light bulb.
I'll introduce the guy I'm currently dating
to my rich, successful, ex-fiancé,
right, who's the rock star.
And then they can do business together.
Yeah, that's genius.
Gabe will like that.
Yeah, that's exactly what it is.
I spend all of my time trying to figure out how to piss you off.
Come on.
I did it for you. You were trying to
get your personal training business off the ground,
and you needed the money.
-To the a-hole. -What?
What are you talking about?
He does free concerts all over the world.
He donates half of his money to not-for-profits
that go directly to women, children, and Africa.
Yeah, tax write-off.
White celebrities always do that shit when they wanna look cool.
Go off, adopt a little African baby, fuck his hair all up,
take dumb pictures of him.
That shit ain't cool. Don't make you a good person.
You know this is not fair.
Do I grill you about all the women you've been with, huh?
I mean, you really want to open that can of worms
'cause I don't think that you do.
[scoffs] I'm a little scared to ask
where you've been or what you've been doing
since we've been on another one of our little breaks.
Oh, you want to know the difference, though,
I didn't love any of them
and it's different with you, too, and you know it.
Okay, Gabe. Gabe, baby.
You, you've got to stop.
I'm not with him. I am... I'm trying to be with you.
Patrick and I are just friends. That is it.
No, no. You're not just friends.
That's your ex-fiancé.
He wants to take you on another trip around the world somewhere.
You, him, and the camera, taking pictures of him,
fucking serenading a dolphin.
Just tell me this though, right,
have we ever had sex to one of his stupid-ass songs?
-Huh, we probably have-- -Oh, fuck you, Gabe!
Yeah, it's fucked up.
Who the fuck do you think you are?
I mean you got me on this twisted ass yo-yo,
breaking up with me because you say you need space
and just when you're done having space and done pouting about it,
we start hanging out again, working to get back together
and then you pick a fight with me
over the same old fucking shit over again
just so you can break up with me.
I mean, you know what, light bulb, you're fucking awkward,
so don't put your shit on me, okay?
I mean say what you want about Patrick
but the only person who makes me feel this low is you.
Nah, nigga.
[door closes]
Alec, hey, Alec.
We need you to come down to the principal's office with us,
real quick.
Would that be okay?
Would you come with us?
[upbeat music playing]
What happened, Alec? Hmm?
Please talk to me.
What happened at school today, honey?
Why did you do that?
[Randy] You know what, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to
but that's what Wednesdays are for.
You can let it all out with, uh, Dr. Isaacs.
We're almost there.
Two, I even got you some extra time for this session,
so you just take all the time you need to be good to go, okay?
Turn around. Just turn around, okay.
Turn around. Everything's going to be okay.
Just keep facing the way I'm facing him
and everything's going to be fine.
[car door closes]
I just don't know what to do. I don't know what to do, Randy.
There's something wrong with him.
There's something wrong with our son
and I knew it since he came out.
No, don't say that. He's just a little different.
I was quiet when I was his age. I'm fine, okay.
I turned out fine. He's going to be fine.
He's just, he's going through a phase,
he needs a little coaxing out of his shell,
but he's strong, my boy's a strong boy.
-[Joanne] My mother was right. -[Randy] Hmm?
This is all my fault.
You mother's not right about anything, Joanne, ever.
-Oh, Randy! -I'm sorry.
You know he could have killed that child. Do you know that?
Do you understand that he could have killed him?
I mean, this is how serial killers get started
and there are always warning signs,
big glaring warning signs.
What if this is it? What if Alec is a serial killer?
What would we do then?
We will love him just the same as long as he doesn't kill us.
-[Joanne] Randy! -I'm sorry.
Look, just relax. Relax.
I tell you what, let's go to the farmers' market.
Is there one today?
We're gonna find one. I'm gonna find a fucking farmers' market.
[suspenseful music playing]
How are you feeling today?
It's fair to say you seem down.
Well, 10 points for you.
Have you seen my wallet? Did I leave it here?
I did. I left it out.
Would you like to talk about it?
What's to talk about?
Things are just fucked up with Millie.
We'll just let it go at this point.
Um, yeah. That's a wrap.
But where the fuck is my wallet?
[Dr. Jones] Why don't you tell me what happened?
Are you married, Doc?
Well, I'm not here to talk about my life, Gabe.
Okay, that's not what you pay me for.
I'm here to talk about yours.
Okay, well, my life sucks, fade out, the end.
Can we just... Can we talk about something else?
I don't think your life sucks from my personal perspective.
Look, you're alive, you're physically healthy,
you have the beginnings of a successful business.
You have a lot of things that people work very hard for.
I can, uh... I can get your supraspinatus right as fuck.
[Dr. Jones] Have you given any more thought to what makes Gabe happy?
Yeah, yeah.
Twix ice cream bars, remember?
Where the fuck is my wallet?
-Gabe? -[Gabe] What?
Okay, I got to tell you something.
Oh, wonderful! What are you... Okay.
I'm damn good at my job.
I graduated top of my class. I built my own practice.
Yeah, I don't see what any of that
has to do with me. This is my time.
It is quite evident to me that you're full of shit.
Wow! Wow!
Yeah, you know, I definitely don't pay you for that.
No. You think you pay me to come in here,
listen to your problems, and empathize with you.
And you want a gold star because you're a black man
who took the difficult but necessary step
to seek treatment and better himself.
You want to be commended
because you think you're coming in here and opening up, but you're not.
What you really pay me for
is to unlock a much deeper part of yourself
that is yearning to come out, but that's impossible because,
well, you keep lying to yourself.
So, go ahead. Keep it all in.
Bullshit me all you want.
I'll gladly keep taking your money.
I rather enjoy eating at Mastro's
but in the long run it does you no good.
Hey, how much does my insurance pay you?
A lot.
Yeah, damn. Obamacare, right.
Whatever, okay.
I am honest.
No, no, you're not.
See, you come here week after week
and you say you're tired of the same game
you've been playing your whole adult life.
Gabe, you have a woman who's ready
for what you say you're ready for,
but instead of being a man and putting in the work,
you waste time betting and investing
in senseless relationships just to prove the point
that there are no sustainable relationships.
More failed tests that you refuse to study for
and the more you fail,
the more you weave this tangled web.
Yeah, like a retarded Spider-Man.
Hey, keep telling your jokes. You want to know what else?
-No. -You're hurt.
You're afraid.
Of what?
Well, you don't want to end up like your father
and you definitely don't want to end up
with a woman like your mother.
So, there's rock and a hard place and you.
You want to know what else? You're hurt.
You don't even know how to cope with what's hurting you.
You're so scared that if you let your guard down
and you let someone in and they see you, they see the real you,
flaws and all, you're scared that they will still love you.
And you don't think you deserve that love
because you live in the world
where you are constantly told that you don't.
I'm here to tell you that you do.
You deserve that love.
You deserve to be happy,
but you have to believe that.
Time's up.
Yeah, I'm tired of hearing you talk anyway.
[tranquil music playing]
[panting]
[elevator dings]
[calm music playing]
What's up little man? What you doing?
Just sitting.
Where's your grandmother?
She forgot to pick me up. She's old.
Huh, well, how you gonna get home?
I don't know.
I mean, do you live far from here?
I mean, I can give you a ride.
Nay, I don't want to bother you, Mister.
-Yo, what are you doing? -Hitch-hiking.
It's what they do in the movies.
Yo, listen. No, nobody does that anymore, man.
Look, it's cool. Just... I can give you a ride home. Yeah?
-Okay. -All right, come on.
[Gabe] No, no. Get in the front seat, the front seat, the front.
-Oh, I'm Gabe by the way. -Alec.
That way you're not roaming with a stranger.
-Right. -Put your seat back, relax.
So, where to?
Um, go out-- Go up here and make a left.
Oh, so, uh, how long have you been in therapy?
Oh, it's about three to four months.
Pretty new. How about you?
Two years.
Two years? How old are you?
-Nine. -Nine?
Man, when I was nine, I was running around outside,
getting bit by mosquitoes, playing with my friends.
Kids need way more of that these days. Fuck therapy.
-Pardon my language. -It's okay.
I say that word sometimes.
Oh, you do?
Yeah, my parents don't know though.
I say a bunch of words.
They think I'm real quiet.
I don't know why.
I guess I just don't talk to them.
It's about how it usually goes.
Oh, make a right here.
Do you have any rap music?
What do you know about rap music?
I like it.
My neighbor Tommy.
His older brother likes rap music.
We used to sneak in his room and listen to it.
I think I'll be a great rapper.
-[laughs] You know how to spit? -Yeah.
No. No, man. That's... Not spit.
Spit like, like freestyle.
You know, make it up as you go.
Yeah, oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'm the best.
-Really? -Yeah, I'm the best in my class.
Okay, well, you know what, let's see what you got.
[rap music playing]
Okay, yeah.
Do something, do something with that.
Oh, okay. You got a mic too, huh? Okay. Yeah.
♪ It's me, Alec A.L.E.C. ridin' in a car♪
♪ Going real fast Making it rain♪
♪ Twerk something, yeah ♪
Okay, yeah. No. No. No.
Stop. Stop it. Stop. Stop that.
[Alec] I thought I was doing good though.
Nah, you thought wrong.
Just, you know what?
When you think about rapping, just don't, you know.
-Okay. -Okay.
-[Alec] Start slowing down. -[Gabe] Over here?
[Alec] Right over there, yeah.
Well, all right, little man. It's fun hanging with you.
Yeah, okay.
See you next Wednesday?
-Yep, okay. -Cool.
Wait, okay, could you just wait here so I make it in okay?
Yeah, sure.
[cellphone dings]
[sighs]
Wait, what's wrong? Nobody home?
Yeah, nobody's there.
Probably thought my grandma's gonna take me to her house
-and, yeah. -Oh!
Well, what time do your parents normally get home?
Around 6:00.
That is... It's just after 3:00.
I can't leave you out here for like three hours.
Are you hungry?
I'm starving.
Didn't really get to finish my lunch at school.
All right. Well, I left my wallet at home,
but I got about 17 bucks.
Let's see what we can get with that?
-Deal? -Deal.
All right.
[car engine revs]
[upbeat music playing]
[Gabe] Right, you really were hungry, huh?
Told you, I didn't get to finish my lunch.
Never fixed your kicks like I told you either.
Nah, it's okay.
I'm going to get some new ones soon.
Dad said if I join a baseball team or something,
he'll give me some money.
He thinks team sports will help me out.
I used to play baseball when I was a kid.
I hated defense, but I loved hitting things with a bat.
I still go to the batting cages to this day when I'm stressed.
-You fast? -I'm okay.
You know what? Be a pitcher.
You don't have to be fast to be a pitcher
and you make more money.
I don't like throwing and catching.
Well, maybe you shouldn't play baseball.
I really just want some new shoes.
[cellphone vibrates]
Oh, crap.
[cellphone beeps]
[clicks tongue]
Wait! Is that Patty Nelson?
Yeah, that's Patty Nelson.
You're friends with Patty Nelson?
-Something like that. -Lucky!
Huh. Wait a minute!
[Alec] Hmm.
How'd you get that bruise?
Your parents did that to you?
No way. They believe in timeouts
and putting your hands on your hips and stuff.
They never hit me.
You're getting bullied.
They did that to your shoes, too.
I know bully work when I see it.
I used to get bullied when I was a kid.
-You did? -Yep.
Then you'll grow up, start getting some muscles,
all that bullying stuff will stop, promise.
No, not these guys.
[scoffs]
You got to see them every day?
Yeah, they're even on the baseball team
my dad wants me to join.
One of the only good things about therapy
being on Wednesdays is that
I don't have to go to their stupid practice.
Wait, they have practice right now?
Yeah, probably just finishing up.
-Why? -Come on.
-Where are we going? -Just come on.
-I don't like surprises. -Yeah, you'll like this one.
-I want to do it, man. -Do it.
You don't think I'm going to do it?
-I just said do it. -I'll do it. You did it.
-I did do it. -You don't think I can't do it?
You've been talking about doing it for two years. Do it.
[Alec] That's two of them. Luke and Kyle.
They once gave me a wedgie so hard, it made me bleed.
Here, put this on. Put this on like this.
Yeah.
No, on the ear like this.
Did she really take half your stuff? Half?
I mean, no. She got the whole house, all the kids,
the Range, not half of it, the boathouse, the boat.
I mean... I mean, come on.
-Let me just stare it. -Look at that thing, man.
[suspenseful music playing]
Oh, damn it.
[Gabe] Come here, come here, just gotta hand me out
[screaming]
I would let her take half of anything from me.
[Gabe] Yeah, oh, yeah. Come back. Come back. Come back.
Dad.
[Gabe] Hey! Shut up! Shut up!
Hey! Hey, get off my kid.
[indistinct chatter]
Hey.
[both groan]
[Alex laughs]
[Alec] You're such a joke.
[upbeat music playing]
[both laughing]
-That was awesome. -Uh-huh.
Yeah, I bet they won't be messing with your shoes anymore.
I was like pow, pow, pow on his stomach.
Uh-huh. I think the other one peed on himself.
Uh-huh, that's what they get. Bullys.
Take that. You're good now.
-That was hilarious. -Yeah.
[upbeat song playing on radio]
♪ The most respect ♪
♪ The most respect♪
♪ The most respect ♪
♪ The most respect♪
All right, little man. Had a crazy day today.
Yeah. Thanks for the help and the ride.
Yeah, for sure.
I'll see you next Wednesday, I guess.
Mm-Hm. Yeah, okay.
-Wait. -Wait, what?
This...
This is not my house.
What do you mean this is not your house?
We were just there.
Wait, I don't think this is my neighborhood actually.
What do you mean this isn't your neighborhood?
We were just there. That's your house.
You don't know what neighborhood you live in?
I do. I just... I've never been in the front seat before.
Everything looks different from up here.
Oh, my God! All right, here.
Look, just call your mom
and I'll explain the situation to her. It'll be cool.
I don't know my mom's number by memory.
Okay, well, call your dad.
I don't either. Nope.
Well, dude, how are we supposed to get you home
when you don't know how to get home?
Like, can you explain what your house even looks like?
I mean, this doesn't make any sense.
-Well, it's big. -Okay.
-Two stories. -Okay.
And um, it's by the beach.
By the beach, nigga, we in the valley.
[sighs]
-Alec, we're in the valley. -It's okay.
I know you don't mean it in a bad way.
You mean it like the rappers do, like friends.
All right, look. I got to get gas.
You got any money on you at least?
No.
Got to go home, get my wallet, get some gas
and figure out how to get you home.
Okay.
This don't make no sense.
[upbeat music playing]
[Gabe] Bro, what is she doing here?
[sighs]
Stay right here. I'll be right back.
Okay.
Bailey, what are you doing here?
You haven't been getting any of my texts?
Oh! Oh, I hope you die, and your dick falls off.
-That's been you? -Yes.
[Gabe] Right. Well, there's a reason I deleted your number,
so, again, what are you doing here?
I'm on break from work and I've been waiting for you
to get home, so I can go in and get the rest of my stuff.
What are you talking about? You didn't leave anything.
[Bailey] Yes, I did.
I have a pair of earrings and a scarf and I can't find them,
so they must be in there.
You didn't leave your stuff here. I promise.
Can you just let me go in and look for it?
I mean, it won't take long.
Bailey, you're tripping.
You know I don't have your stuff.
[Bailey] Did you look under the bed?
[Gabe] I don't have your scarf and earrings, okay?
I mean, shit happens
when you're doing the bucking bronco on the wall.
Come on, it must have fallen off or something.
Just let me go in. Come on.
You have five minutes,
'cause I don't have time for whatever this is.
Okay, five minutes. Damn.
-Five minutes. -Five.
Come on, Alec.
[Bailey] I got time for this.
-Who is this little white boy? -[Gabe] Don't worry about it. Come on.
Just come on.
There it is.
Okay, right? So, as you can see, clearly your stuff isn't here.
-Can you please go? -Don't rush me,
those earrings meant a lot to me.
I'm gonna go in the bedroom and check.
It's where we would've spent most of our time.
She smells like vanilla.
-Cocoa butter. -What's that?
-What's what? -Cocoa butter.
Oh, it's... It's like, you know what, I...
I don't know what it is.
It's kind of like lotion, but it's not.
Like black people use it for everything.
Hmm. Oh, is she your girlfriend?
No, no, no, no. She's just a bunch of whiskey shots
and a mistake. That's-- That's what she is.
[Alec] Hmm.
[Bailey] Gabriel.
I'll be right back.
Uh, Bailey. What are you doing?
I know somebody's been here.
Your room has never been this fucking clean.
-Look at this. -Okay, I need you to understand.
You look like a bona fide crazy person right now
and it's actually making me uncomfortable.
I don't care. I want to know who you've been with.
[Gabe] Bailey, we haven't kicked it in damn near two months.
I told you, I got a girlfriend now.
Yeah, that was after we had already had sex
a thousand times.
We had sex twice.
And then you went and you got a girlfriend
and you didn't even tell me.
Me getting a girlfriend was the reason
you and I stopped talking.
Do you not remember?
That's when you hung up. It was the first time you had texted me,
"Hey, I hope you die in a fiery crash on 101 North with your dick in your hands."
-Remember that? -I was-- I was just upset.
Baby, let's just-- let's just have sex and make up.
Bailey, stop.
What? What! Is her pussy that good? Huh?
I know it's that little yamp Millie. Is it her?
'Cause I went on her little Instagram page
and I saw some love quotes she posted
and I know it was about your dumb stupid ass.
Okay, thank you very much.
Now it's time for you to go, please.
Right this way. Uh-huh.
Are you two still seeing each other?
It's complicated. Why? Just go.
'Cause I'm pregnant and it's yours.
-What? -Yep, you heard me right.
Pregnant.
So, what you gonna do, Gabe?
You going to be a deadbeat or are you gonna do what's best for me and Gabe Jr.?
Oh, I got to get back to work.
Listen, I'll be back tonight,
so we can discuss what the plan is gonna be.
My mom is not going to be happy with you
but you're going to love her.
Okay, I'll see you later.
[door opens then closes]
Everything okay?
Whiskey.
Hey, isn't that the stuff you were just talking about?
Makes you make bad decisions.
Is it any good?
[groans]
Can I have some?
[coughs]
See.
[sighs]
If it-- if it's nasty and it makes you make bad decisions
then, um, why do you drink it?
That is a good question.
[sighs]
Oh, fuck this shit.
Oh, shit! Come on.
What are you gonna do with that?
Hit shit.
[upbeat music playing]
-You're gonna hurt yourself. -[Gabe] Just keep them coming.
[panting]
Feel better yet?
-Not really. -[Alec] Can I try?
I thought you said you didn't like baseball.
I said I didn't like the bullies that play in the team
and throwing and catching.
Never said anything about hitting.
You know omission is a form of a lie, right?
Your parents ever teach you that?
So, like when you don't tell your real girlfriend
that you got another girl pregnant.
Is that like a lie?
[sighs]
If my son is anything like you, I don't know what I'm gonna do.
[Alec] Nobody's like me.
But you just have to talk to him, not at him.
That's why I ignore my parents.
That's why I go to my room and play video games.
[panting]
Take that off.
What are you wearing that for anyway?
Put that on.
Oh, yeah.
How do I do this?
You just see it and hit it. It's pretty simple actually.
-Ready? -No.
No, you got to-- you got to swing at it.
I told you I wasn't ready.
Well, if you stay ready, you don't have to get ready.
-Ready? -Sure.
[Gabe] Okay.
I quit! I'm done.
No, you can't quit. I mean, sometimes you miss.
You just do it again. It's okay.
-I don't want to try again. -No, you have to.
I don't want to do it. I don't want to do it.
-I don't want to do it. -What the--
-1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9-- -Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Boy, what the f-- Hey, boy!
You'll settle down in this batting cage.
-What's wrong with you? -I can't do it.
That's 'cause you're running around yelling numbers
and not hitting the ball.
I need a timeout.
Hey, fuck a timeout.
You're gonna stand up here
and you're gonna hit one of these balls, okay?
[Alec] Okay.
[claps] Come on.
Fucking timeout.
Now, here we go, all right?
It's okay. It's okay. Don't go all Hulk on me.
Just try again, all right?
You can do this.
-There you go. There you go. -Gabe, Gabe, I touched it.
-Yeah, you see that? -I did it. Did you see?
Yeah. Yeah, I saw that.
Right, now, see look, when life gets hard, you don't quit.
You stand in that box and you figure it out, right?
[Alec] Yeah.
[both panting]
[Alec] What's wrong?
[groans]
I'm not ready to be a dad, man.
Not like this.
You'll be a cool dad.
My dad never does stuff like this with me.
[phone vibrates]
It's Millie.
Millie. Is that your real girlfriend?
I think so.
-Should I answer? -Yes.
Okay, last question.
Should I tell her in person or on the phone?
-Definitely in person. -Yeah.
[beeps]
Hello. Hey.
Yeah, yeah. I'm just finishing up at the batting cages.
Hey, I need to, um, I need to talk to you about something.
I can-- I can swing by. Are you gonna be there?
Okay. Okay, I'll see you in a bit.
-A card. -What?
Get her a card. Girls like cards, don't they?
Ow! What did you do that for?
You'll thank me later in life, I promise.
Okay, I won't say, I won't think about saying it.
Boom.
Here, put that on your ear.
[scanner dings]
Oh, oh, excuse me, sir. Sorry, can you come back.
It's just the Bing Bong.
Oh, the Bing Bong must be broken,
'cause, clearly, I just paid for this.
I doubt it, man.
Let me just-- All right, if I can-- let me just--
-What are you doing? -[man 2] Make sure--
Get off me, man. We got money.
I ain't taking nothing from this damn store.
Yeah, I know you do, man, but I just--
Come on. I got to--
Don't-- quit frisking me, dude.
Hey, man, let's record this shit, man.
I just told you I didn't take nothing from this damn store.
I'm going to call the cops.
Call-- call the cops, for what?
You just saw me buy this. I didn't do nothing.
All right, well, if you didn't do nothing just let me frisk you, man.
-Come on. -No.
I promise you, if you touch me one more time,
I'm going to smack the shit out of you.
[man 2] Ow.
Did you see?
Right? Right, I told him.
Yep, I heard you tell him.
Cause and effect.
Totally. Totally understand.
Called racist profiling.
We learn about that in school.
[Gabe] What?
Where the--
-Are you serious? -You want some?
No. Give me that.
[brakes screeching]
[Gabe] I'm sorry I slapped you, kinda.
But that's not why we're here.
I'm saying.
I took this without paying.
You took it.
That's-- that's why the Bing Bong, 'cause--
-'Cause you took it. -Mm-hm, genius.
Okay, so what do you want to do, restock it or something?
No. Just tell me how much it is so I can pay for it
-and I can go about my-- -You slapped me for no reason.
No, no, no.
Cause and effect got you slapped, okay?
But that's not the point.
Trying to teach him a valuable lesson.
Are you guys in like the Big Brothers, Big Sisters program or something?
You know I've-- I've seen that
but I've never seen a black adult and a white kid. It's usually like uh--
Hey, I don't want you to say extra words.
Tell me how much this fucking candy bar is
so I can go about my day, okay?
Well, there's no wrapper on it, so I can't scan it.
Scan another one.
If I scan another one that's gonna be a separate transaction.
So, I'm gonna have to void this one out.
So?
So, my manager doesn't like when I void things out.
He's going to slap you again.
Scan another bar, tell me how much it is.
He's been having a very, very bad day.
Alec!
Hey, how much is it?
Hand me a napkin out of the glove compartment.
This.
Hand me the card.
You got a little chocolate on your hands.
There's a little bit around your thumb.
There's some on your wrist.
Just give it. It's fine. Just give it to me.
Thank you.
So, what are you gonna say?
Like, I love you. I'm sorry and a big jerk or something like that.
What do you think?
I don't know. I've never had girlfriends.
You're too young anyway.
Well, there's just one girl, Sarah.
She goes to my school.
She's kind of like my girlfriend.
Hmm.
Just I haven't told her yet so.
Yeah, no. I don't think you can call her your girlfriend then.
Oh, but she is my girlfriend.
She is, yeah.
All right. Come on.
Wait, I have anything in my teeth?
I can't tell. Your gums are black.
Do all black people have black gums?
I don't know.
-Why? -Why what?
Why are my gums black or why don't I know
if every black person in the world has black gums?
The first one.
I don't know, black people and white people are the same, but different.
[sighs]
[Alec] Hi.
Can we come in?
So, Gabe, who's this?
I'm Alec.
You got any lemonade or something?
Hi, Alec.
Whose little white kid did you steal?
This is for you.
And as far as Alec goes, we go to the same therapist building on the same days.
We see each other on the elevator sometimes
-after sessions. -We're best friends.
He called me the N word earlier, but in a good way.
-Really, Gabe? Really? -It just slipped out.
-Have you been drinking? -No.
[Millie] You just gonna lie to me now?
You know I can always smell alcohol on you,
you have thin blood. [sniffs]
You've been drinking whiskey.
Okay, a little, earlier.
He gave me some, too. It was gross.
I'm having a rough day, okay? I'm grown.
I can have a drink during the day.
Lapse in judgment giving him some. I'll give you that.
Anyway, Alec came to me after a session.
He said he needed a ride home. I offered him one. I told him I'd take him.
I went to what I thought was his house, but he was confused.
-Probably 'cause he's drunk. -He's not drunk.
We went just like ninjas and beat the crap out of these two kids who bully me
-and then played baseball. -Okay, that's enough, Alec.
Millie, that's not why I came here, okay?
I really got to tell you something.
What is it? Because I'm still a little hung up
on you getting a 9-year-old drunk.
We're not drunk, just warm, that's what my dad always says.
[cellphone vibrates]
[beeps]
Gabe, what? Why are you here?
I, um, I-- I-- I just really need your help, okay?
We got to find out where he lives,
find out where his parents are so we can return him home, okay?
We? Now all of a sudden we're a we?
Yes, we. I need your help, okay?
[sighs]
Fine, let me get my purse.
We'll get you home, okay? Don't worry.
Gabe.
What's this for?
Support. It's what my friends do.
Oh, and I also got to tell you something.
What?
Cause and effect.
You told a lie, so I hit you, so you wouldn't lie again.
It's pretty good. It's pretty good.
My therapist says hitting when I'm mad is bad.
Well, she's right.
Doing anything when you're mad is wrong.
What-- what are you mad about anyway?
You're young, you got a whole life ahead of you.
Getting mad comes later in your 30s.
Today something happened.
What? What happened at school today?
So, you know, how there are three kids who are bullying me?
Yeah, we got revenge on two of them at the park.
So, there's a third.
Okay, so.
I burned him.
I lit him on fire in the bathroom.
This was just a small one, to make him sweat a little.
I've been telling the teachers that Jason was a bully.
They just said, "Kids will be kids."
And you gotta stand up to bullies.
That's what the commercials always say.
So, I took a lighter from my mom's purse,
put a little lighter fluid from our garage
in this little syringe
that my mom used to flush wax out of her ears.
[tense music playing]
Then followed him to the bathroom and wet his new shoes,
then lit him on fire.
Is the kid-- is the kid dead?
No. It just got up to his knees.
It was funny though.
He was running around like a little girl.
My girlfriend Sarah saw him run out of the bathroom and down the hall.
Then I just smiled at her and then just went back to the cafeteria
and started eating my lunch.
Sometimes things just had to be burned.
Okay, you guys ready?
Hey, what color are your gums?
All right. Let's get me home.
[calm music playing]
[Millie] Does any of this look familiar to you, Alec?
I mean do you live by any, um-- any big landmarks or?
-Oh, yeah. I am actually. -[Gabe] Oh, that's great!
Which one?
Um, there's a donut shop around the corner.
Dude, there are a thousand donut shops in L.A.
Oh, I found a good one up on Vermont.
It's so good.
[cellphone vibrates]
[cellphone beeping]
My phone's about to go dead, you have your charger on you?
This is your car, Gabe.
Why would I have a phone charger?
You could just say no.
That would be way more efficient.
Okay, you know what? You can just--
[Gabe] All right, I'm gonna swing by the gym,
I got an extra charger there. It's right around the corner.
[sighs]
-Ah, Gabe. -Hey, man.
Congrats, bro. Listen, I want to hear all about it,
but I got a new client coming up.
-Okay. -All right.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. Heard the news, so awesome bro. I didn't even know.
What are you talking about?
Dude, your fiancée just told us the good news.
You're getting married and having a baby!
-Wait, wait, wait. -Yo, I better be invited
-to the wedding. -My fiancée?
Yeah, she's inside, showing everybody your baby picture and her baby picture,
trying to figure out what the baby's gonna look like.
[weights clattering and thudding]
[Bailey] Can you get me a blue baby stroller?
-That's really what I need. -Uh, Bailey. What are you doing?
Oh, hey, baby.
I'm just on the internet looking for strollers for the baby.
Oh, can you believe some of them come with three wheels?
Yeah, can I talk to you outside for a second?
-Can it wait? -No, it cannot wait.
Okay, and they say we get hormonal when we're pregnant.
[laughs] It was so nice meeting you, you guys.
Oh, okay. What are you doing?
Why are you grabbing me like that?
What are you doing, huh?
You can't just come up to my job like that
telling everybody my business.
You're about to be a father, Gabe.
You need to get that idea wrapped around your head, sweetheart.
And those colleagues of yours need to know what's going on
because I'm not gonna be at home raising a baby by my damn self.
So you might have to start hiring some more people around here or something.
[Gabe] Listen, Bailey!
How do I even know it's mine? Hmm?
Are you? Are you calling me a whore?
-No. -[Bailey] Are you calling me a whore?
No, but I'm saying, I don't talk to you for like two months, right?
I tell you I got a girlfriend and all of a sudden...
-[Bailey] Wow. -...you show up
and you're pregnant. I'm just-- come on!
Who's that chick?
Oh, she's Bailey.
How do you know who Bailey is?
I met her at Gabe's house.
She and Gabe are going to have a baby together--
What did you just say?
[Bailey] Just sticking your thing wherever you feel like it
but when it comes to responsibility,
you can't handle the heat. So, what?
I guess I'm just supposed to just start
tricking on the street now, huh?
Just sucking dick to put Gabe Jr. through private school. Is that what you want?
You want me to start sucking dick for our son's school, Gabe?
-Oh, my God. -What kind of father are you?
Look, Bailey, I'm not about to have
this dumbass conversation with you.
Not here. Can you please just go?
-Please. -Is it?
Is that Millie?
He wasn't happy about it.
That's why we came to your house and Gabe got you a card.
I am begging you, will you please leave.
-Oh, my God! -[Gabe] Right now is not the time.
You brought her here?
-Really? -[Gabe] Look, babe, babe.
Wow. I can't believe you right now.
Babe, we'll figure it out.
We'll talk about it later.
We'll figure it out, but could you please just go now.
Please, for me.
Could you do that for me, please?
-Okay. -[Gabe] Okay.
But you better tell that bitch what it is, Gabe.
-Okay, I will. -Because I don't want her
-wrecking our home. -All right.
-[Bailey] Okay? -Okay. I understand.
And on the real, if I wasn't carrying our child,
-I would whoop that ass. -I understand.
-Tell her what I said. -I will.
I'll call you later or something.
Or something? Gabe, don't get it twisted.
I'm gonna start needing some money soon
'cause I'm starting maternity leave any minute now, okay?
All right. Okay.
Give me a kiss.
I'll kiss you later. I'll kiss you later.
Gabe, who's that?
-It's just this-- -Is she pregnant?
[sighs]
It's not what it looks like. I promise.
[car engine revs]
Vroom, vroom, vroom.
Hey, good to see you, man.
Patrick, did I miss a session or something?
What are you doing-- what are you doing here with Mark?
Hey, Gabe. Um...
Look it-- it just really wasn't working out
with you training me, so I got a new guy.
This is Mark.
Hey, did you hear Gabe's having a baby?
Congratulations!
What's with those bands?
-Let's get in. -[Mark] Come on.
Is that Millie?
Hey, you look amazing!
[Millie chuckles]
What are you-- what are you doing here?
Uh...
I actually have no idea what I'm doing here. [scoffs]
Do you have plans right now?
I-- I got something I've been dying to talk to you about.
Let's-- let's get some food, we'll get a drink.
I'll-- I'll tell you all about it.
Yeah. Yeah, I could use a drink.
[Patrick] Great. Hey, Mark, I'm really sorry.
I-- I'm-- I'm gonna have to reschedule, okay. Um...
-This is important. -[Mark] Got you.
Yeah. I already, already prepaid the ten, right?
-[Mark] You're good. -I'll see you again.
-[Mark] Gotcha. -Thanks.
-Grab your stuff. -Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Okay.
[car engine sputtering]
Well, this is embarrassing.
This is why I never drive myself.
Gabe, do you have a car?
Would you give me and Millie a ride to my house?
Yeah, Gabe. Could you do that for Patrick and I?
[Patrick] I'd really appreciate it.
Hi, um, hey, who, who's this kid?
I'm... Wait. Who am I?
Well, you're Patty Nelson.
You're like the best guitarist ever.
Well, thanks. I'm flattered you think so.
Alec. That's my name. Alec.
Right on, Alec.
Hey, um, maybe it's best if you turn around and face front. Might be safer.
My parents make me sleep with the door open. They think that's safer.
He's going through some changes.
Yeah, but I'm in therapy because I burned the kid at school.
You burned a kid?
Okay, Alec, turn around.
That's Patty Nelson, the legend.
I know. Just turn around. Just right now, turn around.
[screaming]
-Why? -Alec, stop!
Alec, calm down! Alec, calm down.
Calm down. We already did this, bro.
We're not doing this again, okay? Stop.
Can I ride the rest of the ride looking at Mr. Nelson now?
I'd rather you didn't.
So, Gabe, did I hear correctly, you're gonna have a baby?
Yeah, Gabe, did we hear that correctly, you are going to have a baby?
It's a little more complicated than that I suppose.
What exactly is so complicated? I mean, sex is pretty simple.
I mean, you insert A into B, you drop a load off and then boom,
nine months later you have a baby.
-What's so complicated? -No, maybe,
maybe right now is not the best time.
Oh, it isn't? It's not convenient for you, Gabe?
What are you gonna save it all for your next little therapy session?
I mean, you are unbelievable.
You can open up to every person on this planet except for me,
but you know what, actually, it's fine.
Maybe you can explain to Dr. Jones
how someone who's too afraid to be in a healthy
and loving, committed relationship,
thinks it's a better idea to knock up a random chick instead.
-I mean that'll be, ooh, that'll be a great session. -[Gabe sighs].
Guys, this, uh, kid is freaking me out.
I don't think he's blinked the entire time he's been staring at me.
Actually, you know what, it's good.
Alec should hear all about his new best friend.
That way he can grow up to be just like him.
Look, no, everybody listen, if we could just...
We get Patrick home, then we'll find out a way to get Alec home.
I say we drop the good son off first.
[Gabe] I'll explain all this later, babe. I promise.
We, there you go again with the "we" stuff.
We didn't raw dog the squat-legged chick back there in the leggings,
the one you got pregnant.
[Patrick] Oh, dude. You got to wear protection.
There's diseases out here that'll make your junk fall right off.
My mom calls it the willy [inaudible].
Got me out here making chicken tacos, trying to hang out again?
And this whole time you've got a chick pregnant?
-And you weren't gonna tell me. -She does not...
-I don't even know if it's mine. -[Millie] You didn't think I'll find out?
-Unreal. -[Dr. Jones] How does that make you feel?
-How does that make you feel? -[Millie] Gabe.
Gabe! Where you going?
[Gabe panting]
Gabe! Gabe! You're being ridiculous, get in the car.
I can't get in the car. I can't get in.
Why not? It's your car. We can take you wherever you want to go.
If I get... If I get back in the car, I'll kill you all.
[Millie] Okay, you're not going to kill anybody.
You're just having another one of your anxiety attacks.
Nope, nope. This was real.
I'll kill you all if I get back in the car.
-[Millie] Gabe. Gabe, get in the car. -No, I can't.
Gabe! Gabe!
Where the fuck is he going?
[sighs]
[scoffs] What a day!
You know, Gabe was pretty upset when he heard he was gonna be a dad.
What'd he say?
He said she was like a whiskey mistake or something like that.
Yeah, pretty sure.
I know where he's going.
-Yeah? -Mm-hm. Wednesday, right?
[footsteps approaching]
[panting]
-Gabe. Are you okay? -Yeah.
Is someone chasing you or something?
No, no. I'm fine, I just--
Are you, are you hurt?
Oh, it's just... I just can't breathe.
All right, here, here, here.
Drink this.
You don't look... You know what, I'm going to call somebody.
No, no. [coughing] I'm fine.
I'm fine. I'm fine.
I just can't breathe.
Okay, look, just, everything's going to be fine. Just take a breath.
[continues panting]
Look, this day has to be the worst day of my life.
Okay, just tell me what happened.
Okay, well, first of all, right, I run away from my car.
I leave my, my ex, Millie, with her ex-fiancé Patty Nelson.
I love that guy.
Yeah, and then, and then I'd be riding around all day
with some, some kid who just might be the next Hannibal Lecter.
Oh, oh, and I, I'm about to be a father.
Yeah, yeah. I got some random chick pregnant.
I don't even like her. She shows up to my job.
I messed with her like a couple of months ago.
She's pregnant. She's keeping 'em and, yeah, it's just, it's just all bad.
Okay, just take a, take a second.
Hang on a minute. Just, just take a breath.
Everything's gonna be all right. You're gonna be fine.
No, no. I'm not gonna be fine.
You keep saying that shit and it's not true.
Okay? It just keeps getting worse and worse. Everything sucks.
I'm not ready to be a father, man, not like this with her.
I love Millie and I was really, really trying to make it work
and this fucking thing happens.
Who's this kid that you were hanging out with?
[Gabe] It's Alec. He's some kid who goes to therapy in the building somewhere.
Oh, God!
-Oh, God! -Why? Why?
-What? -Everybody, everybody,
everybody has been looking for him.
-What? -Yeah.
He didn't show up for his session today,
so they've been looking all over for him.
He's not missing, he's in the car.
All right, Gabe, listen. I need--
That motherfucker.
I need you to, to bring him upstairs, so I can, I can see him.
-Not that you would do anything. -There's nothing wrong with him.
There's nothing wrong with him, okay?
Except he burns little kids at school.
I need to protect the safety of this child. Can you please
-bring him up to here? -Safety? He's fine.
-He's fine. He's fucking fine. -[Dr. Jones] Okay.
[upbeat music playing]
[cellphone vibrates then beeps]
-Gabe. Gabe. -[Gabe] Come here. Come here.
[Millie] Gabe, whoa, whoa, whoa! Easy, easy.
-[Gabe] Come here. -[Patrick] Hey, hey, hey.
You've been lying to me.
You said your grandmother forgot to pick you up
because she's old after your session. But you never went.
Right. Right.
And then you took me on this wild-ass goose chase
pretending you were locked out, stealing candy and shit.
You got people thinking you're fucking kidnapped.
I never should have picked your ass up in the first place.
Well, Gabe, Gabe, I think that's enough.
[Gabe] Oh, what do you care, huh?
Right, you're leaving me anyway without even hearing my side,
so you don't have to worry about what I do anymore.
Now, listen, you're gonna tell me where you live.
You're gonna tell me what's going on.
You're gonna tell me right now. I'm not playing anymore.
Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I told a fib earlier. I'm sorry.
I know where I live. I just didn't want to go back to my house.
My dad will keep ruffling my hair,
my mom would keep looking at me like she's about to cry.
They don't know me.
I just want to hang out with you. You're my only friend.
I just didn't want to go back to my house, that's all.
[Patrick] I would like to go home.
Dude, shut the fuck up, Patrick.
[sighs] Listen, it's okay, man. It's okay.
We just got to get you home, man. We got to do that, okay?
Maybe I could work something out,
if you start playing baseball, I could,
I could come to your game or something.
You're my pal still. You're my pal.
-Okay, promise? -[Gabe] I promise.
[calm music playing]
[sighs]
I live at 11204 Sycamore Boulevard.
[sighs]
[ominous music playing]
Hey, man.
I'm sorry for that stuff I said back there.
I, I didn't mean anything. You didn't deserve it.
It's okay. You are having a bad day.
[sighs]
I'm sorry, too.
I know.
[Gabe] Can we please talk later?
I think this is it.
-Can I help you? -Yeah, I'm just...
You guys are probably looking for Alec, so, I just...
All right. Hey, freeze! Let me see your hands right now!
-Hands! Let me see 'em. -Who?
-You. Put your hands up? -Okay.
-Do not put them down. -Okay.
-What the fuck is happening? -Get on the car. Get on the car.
-What are you'll doing? -[Millie] What are you arresting him for?
Son, everything's okay. All right?
-You're safe. -I've been safe. Gabe is my friend. No.
Okay, wait, why are you arresting him?
-[cop 1] I need you people to back up? -You break my fucking arm,
-I'm gonna beat that ass... -Stop resisting.
I'm not resisting.
Guys, this is a misunderstanding.
-[cop 1] I'm not gonna tell you again. -Don't talk to her like that.
-Hey, shut up. Come on. -[Millie] Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
-Officer. Officer. -[Patrick] This is a mistake.
-[Alec] He's my friend! -Where are you taking him?
He's not the bad guy.
Alec. Oh, my God, honey!
Honey, are you okay? We've been worried sick.
[Randy] That, that man, he didn't touch you anywhere, did he?
Tell them to let him go, dad, tell them.
Yeah, let the police do their job. They're the heroes today, chief.
-Hi, hi. You're his parents? -[Randy] Hi.
I'm Millie. I'm Gabe's girlfriend.
I think this whole thing is a huge misunderstanding.
Gabe would never hurt Alec, they're friends.
Friends? No, a man in his 30s and my child
don't need to be friends. There's no misunderstanding. Your boyfriend kidnapped my son.
-Okay, I-- -[Joanne] Okay, we've been worried sick.
Oh, my word! Oh, my word!
It's Patty Nelson. You're Patty Nelson.
Nelson, can I get your autograph?
My friends at work are never gonna believe this.
-Give me something to write on. -It's not the best time.
And, and who do you think you are?
What kind of grown man hangs out with a 9-year-old all day?
You should be ashamed of yourself.
Ashamed? What? You don't even know your son.
You know, he doesn't even like hamburgers, stupid.
-Come on. -[Millie] Gabe, hang in there, okay.
We're going to, we're going to get you out of this.
Patrick has plenty of money. We're going to figure this out.
Yeah, yeah. No. Anybody's money but his.
-Anybody's but his. -[cop 1] Hey, shut up!
-Patrick Nelson is the best. -[cop 2] Get in the car.
-[Gabe] Fuck Patty Nelson. -[cop 1] Get in the car.
Ma'am, let's get you inside.
You and your family don't need to see this.
-Everything all right? -Uh, yeah. We're getting there. So, what happened?
Are you involved in this kidnapping?
I mean, I know you're not, but you're his girlfriend.
What do you know about this?
What do you mean what do I--
Alec needed a ride home from therapy today, so Gabe took him.
Therapy? Why does your boy need therapy?
He's, he's got some behavioral issues.
He's just figuring out who he is.
Um, and that monster must have grabbed him after Alec's session.
Today he's had a particularly rough day at school.
He's probably emotional and, you know,
that, that man took advantage of it.
What happened with Alec at school?
In a roundabout way, he was the cause of an accident to another student.
Alec burned a kid for bullying him. That's what happened.
Did this, uh, did this happen at Burroughs Grade School?
Yeah, why?
Oh, my God! You little fucker!
-You little fucker! -[cop 3] Joe, Joe, Joe.
My son Jason has second-degree burns on his legs.
He's in a wheelchair because of you.
-You fucking psychopath! -[cop 3] Okay, Joe.
He gets to ride in a wheelchair? Cool!
Cool, cool?
Cool? I'm going to kill you, you little fucker!
Your fucking kid's a psychopath. That's what he is.
You take that back! Randy, do something.
-Huh? -Okay, look, look, look.
Now we're all going to forgive Detective Parlow.
Detective Parlow here is a little emotional.
Either they don't know, don't show,
or don't care about what's going on in the hood.
Do not quote "Boys in the Hood" to me right now.
Boy, you got to breathe.
You got two strikes.
[Patrick] Look, two life-changing moments
where you taught me that I'll never forget.
One, watching that movie. Ricky should have never stopped to pee.
It was right around the corner from his house.
And, two, nothing should be forced.
Nothing. I like Gabe.
He, he's a real nice guy but he's a mess.
[Millie] Patrick, maybe you're right.
Gabe is a fucking mess, but he's my fucking mess.
And right now he's in a lot of trouble. And he needs me.
So, if it's okay with you I'm going to help him because I love him.
Do you think you could introduce me?
Sir, no.
Autograph.
[Patrick] Oh, I...
[Randy] I'd really appreciate it if you could make it out to Randy
-with a Y. -[Patrick] Oh, right.
Wait! Wait! No! No! No! No!
Alec! Alec! Alec, No!
Do not burn that cop.
-[Joanne] Oh, my God! Oh, my God! -[cop 3] Joe, Joe, Joe!
-He, he, he burned him. -[cop 3] Come on, Joe,
-remember your training. -He fucked up.
[all scream]
-[Joanne] Really? -[Millie] Are you, are you okay?
Okay, okay.
[cop 3] Okay, okay. We got you, man.
[upbeat music playing]
[Alec] Dear Gabe, hi.
I hope you're doing okay. I'm doing fine.
I've made a lot of new friends at my new place.
It's a place for kids to get better.
Sorry that I got arrested.
It was pretty cool though, huh?
I'd never been arrested before.
That day was one of the best days of my life.
You're my best friend. Write me back.
I'll be here for a little while longer.
They think it's good for me since I have a fire problem,
but I don't want to set people on fire like I used to.
-What's up, Jonny? -Whatever, dork.
[Alec] That's the old me.
The new me is done with fire
because fire burns people and things.
Well, hope to talk you soon. Love you.
[Gabe] "Love you. Alec."
It seems as though Alec still really cares about you.
Yeah, I guess so. I mean, he writes me every week.
I kind of feel bad for him. I think he's just a kid trying to fit in.
How long does he have to stay in the group home?
Two months.
He comes home pretty soon, actually.
And your court session the other day.
What, what, what happened with that?
Oh. So, they dropped all the charges except for resisting arrest.
I mean I don't even know how you get arrested for resisting arrest.
That makes like, like zero sense, but, surprisingly,
Alec's mom and dad bailed me out of jail to say they were sorry.
And then they invited me over for Salmon Saturday.
And how about you, Millie?
Uh, how have things been since you moved in?
Well, Gabe's been much more open with me.
I really appreciate him for that.
And in turn it's made me feel more secure with us.
And he gave me a key when he got out of jail. We're best friends again.
Yeah, when that cop was, was punching me in the stomach
and the other one was twisting my arm and almost broke it,
you know, I won't say my life flashed before my eyes,
but I realized, in that moment,
I loved Millie more than anybody I'd ever loved before.
And then I saw Alec light that detective on fire
and sort of lost my train of thought.
May I ask what happened with Bailey and the baby?
[Gabe] Look at this.
Read that.
"Nigga, I ain't pregnant. Just fucking with you.
Found my bracelet, it was in my closet.
Love you. Call me."
Keep scrolling.
"Fuck you then!
I got a new man and I hope you and your bitch die
from chicken pox."
Purple heart, knife emoji.
[Dr. Jones clears throat]
We got a restraining order.
Wow!
Yeah, but Millie and I, we're doing good.
[Millie chuckles]
I know, time's up.
I'll see you, uh, I'll see you next week.
Actually, Millie and I are going on a little trip,
a little vacation just, just us two.
So, we won't be back for a few Wednesdays,
but, uh, give you a call?
I understand.
Thank you, Dr. Jones.
[Dr. Jones] Thank you.
-Thanks, Doc. -My pleasure.
My office is always open to you.
[door closes]
[sighs, clears throat]
[snorts]
[upbeat music playing]
-♪ Yeah, Amen to DJ ♪ -♪ Amen ♪
♪ All right, all right All right ♪
♪ Day to day It's another story ♪
♪ I'm from Baltimore ♪
♪ People they don't play I had to get my own ♪
♪ Do for me like the race ♪
♪ Shout out your pops In my dukes ♪
♪ They was giving me Luke No dice I had to shoot♪
♪ But still I hit the booth Still had to speak my truth♪
♪ And let my demons loose I say this to say♪
♪ That this isn't new ♪
♪ I stay freestyling in the Parking lot way after school ♪
♪ Not much I'm good at So this will have to do ♪
♪ I wanna get it Eh♪
♪ And then get back to you ♪
♪ But a lion can't eat Until he catches food ♪
♪ Hopped on that plane Change my altitude ♪
♪ I'm doing my thing all On these ones and twos ♪
♪ In Beverly Hills ♪
♪ Kicking it like exes for my Hustlers that be hustling ♪
♪ [Inaudible] and cheese you know what I mean ♪
♪ This is for my dreamers That be dreaming ♪
♪ Instead of chasing all those Dreams, you know what I mean ♪
♪ This is before the hustlers And the dreamers and the doers ♪
♪ The Mamas that raise the kids Without Papa's influence ♪
♪ This before the niggas That make ♪
♪ The best out of the world We live in ♪
♪ And by the way Fuck the cops ♪
♪ I'm just saying alarm goes off And it's just another day♪
♪ I'm looking at the time And saying no way Jose ♪
♪ But the hustler in my soul Be like ♪
♪ Do you want scraps Or do we take the cake ♪
♪ Too shit now time to shake And bake like a rattlesnake ♪
♪ Maybe give two fucks If you're late ♪
♪ The world give two fucks If you ate ♪
♪ Got to stay on top Like a toupee ♪
♪ It's a new day when I surface Around these niggas, horseplay ♪
♪ On race day Okay, no way ♪
♪ They gonna catch me tripping No slipping♪
♪ Mario Kart bitch My stick's gifted ♪
♪ Shifting in another lane ♪
♪ Kicking into fifth gear Before I clock in ♪
♪ Grind it, rolled it Spark the shit right ♪
-♪ Hit it. Word up ♪ -♪ Do you feel it? ♪
-♪ You mellow? ♪ -♪ For sure ♪
-♪ You ready? ♪ -♪ Get set ♪
♪ All right ♪
♪ This is for my hustlers That be hustling ♪
♪ [Inaudible] and cheese You know what I mean ♪
[classical music playing]
Oh, don't. Honey, this is not our floor.
-Your therapist is one more down. -Whatever.
Come on. There's room.
No, no. It's okay. We don't want to crowd y'all.
Oh, no, no. Don't be silly, there's plenty of room.
-No, no. It's okay. -Yeah, yeah. We're fine.
We'll just take the next one.
Oh, don't be silly, just get on the elevator.
No, no. We are okay, but if you're in danger,
I'm gonna need you to blink twice.
Wait, blink, what, what on earth are you talking about?
-I think she needs help. -No, please. Please.
Hey, you know, come with us if you want to live.
-Quick. -Okay, okay, okay.
Look, now you're just being rude. Both of you.
I am not in any danger. This is my son.
Wait. That's your son?
Yes, he's adopted. It's a thing.
Oh, well, good for you. Okay, you are going to heaven,
but all the same, we don't want to ride down the elevator with y'all.
What did we do to you, huh?
Besides try to be nice to you, to be polite to you.
Answer her.
Okay, you know what? There was a little white kid named Alec
and he looks just like that one you got right there.
And his little badass almost got me put in jail for five years.
So, all the same, please take your ass on down the elevator.
Wait, Alec?
Alec did this to me. He made my leg all burnt up.
[woman 2] That's why he's in therapy now.
He's had nightmares since it happened. Nightmares!
Ah that's what you get for bullying.
Oh, and, by the way, that's why I beat your little friends up at the park.
Oh, and I hope you have a terrible session
and don't terrorize your mother. Bye.
-Really? -What? Fuck that kid.
We haven't even left therapy yet.
It's fine. Let's just take the steps.
-Come on. I'll be better. Come on. -[scoffs].