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Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome
the Pearl Song band!
♪ I'll never give up ♪
♪ Never ever give up ♪
♪ I'll never ever give up ♪
♪ Never ever oh no ♪
♪ I'll never give up ♪
♪ Never ever give up ♪
♪ I'll never ever give up ♪
♪ Never ever give up ♪
♪ I'm gonna stay down even when I'm way down ♪
Thank you, it means a lot to me.
♪ The odds are thin, fix is in ♪
♪ Nobody believes I can win ♪
♪ All of them better think again ♪
♪ Never ever give up ♪
♪ I'll never ever give up ♪
♪ Never ever oh no ♪
♪ I'll never give up ♪
♪ I never ever give up ♪
♪ Never ever give up ♪
Come on up, come on up.
You were my favorite.
Oh, love your hair.
Oh, thank you.
Oh yeah, so thanks for coming out tonight.
Come on up folks, come on up, step up.
Will you marry me?
♪ Never ever give up ♪
Uh, I don't know.
- Thank you so much. - Nice job.
Nice job girls, nice job, nice job.
Yeah really, really nice, Pearl.
Nice, buddy.
Shocking, yeah I'm surprised.
God Pearl, what did you do?
I felt like a little change.
A little?
Oh, okay I got a little carried away, but,
Emergency makeover time, let's go, girls.
You good?
Oh yeah, yeah.
I'm always up for a little conversation though.
So...
You think they'll notice the new hair?
Notice what?
Did you do something different?
Oh, you got a different shirt.
Okay, hahaha.
But no, just this past year,
with all the changes, you know,
new stepdad, siblings, cool new grandpa.
I just felt very stuck.
Well, I love it.
I love it too.
You know, it's sophisticated.
Still says, I'm a rock star.
Well, nobody's gonna notice anything till tomorrow.
With all that construction back in Pennsylvania,
we'll make it in about three a.m.
That sucks.
Now I'm so excited to see Mom's new baby bump.
Like, tour has been amazing
and very, very surreal, but,
it's just funny how four months ago I thought
I was going to lose my mind.
But all this time away is really,
I've really been missing them.
Well the heart embraces all kinds of love.
Please tell me that's from your TV show.
Maybe.
But just because something isn't real
doesn't mean it isn't true.
I like that one.
Hey.
McCartney, wake up.
I need you to drive me.
What?
Wake up.
Oh, we're home.
Robert!
Oh, okay, oh, okay oh.
Mmm.
11 days is way too long.
Okay, Stefani, Stefani, dear,
I missed you, I did, but we're in public
and it's late so let's get you home.
Hello, Bob.
Bye guys!
Why does your friend insist on calling me Bob?
Little Phil.
Pearl, hey, I'm so glad you're here.
Hi.
How was the tour?
I can't believe you went with Dr. Bunsen.
I'm so shocked.
Yeah, it was amazing.
And you'll get to see Sam again soon.
He really liked you.
Really?
I made a fool of myself at the wedding.
He's used to fools, Uncle Adam.
I mean he hangs out at our house all of the time.
You remember Janis and Miles?
They came down to help, and my friend Stef.
That's great.
I hear you had some computers donated
that you need some work on?
Yes, and if I'm not mistaken
I believe you might be able to help us out
with the kids, a little bit of dance.
Looks like you inspired these kids
to free weekend dancing
in dance, art, maybe some STEM classes
and music lessons?
Ladies?
Yeah, yeah, no problem.
We can kind of give them an overview
for the first six weeks
and then they can specialize however they want.
My mom's meeting with an arts group
about a supply of used instruments.
I can help with drums if I'm not to busy with ASL.
This is so awesome.
How about a tour, come on.
There.
I think that should do it.
We have a well-oiled back to school machine.
Everybody's getting along with each other.
It is not.
My side is so pretty.
Your side of the room looks like a chicken barfed in it.
Mine looks like a unicorn decorated it
with its own two hands.
Do you know what's funny about that?
No.
Unicorns don't have hands.
They have hooves.
But they could just magic themselves a pair of hands.
You make an excellent point.
I could help you sparkle up your side.
All right, slow down.
I'll think about that.
Nice.
I mean, nice job, ladies.
It's good to get help if you aren't good at things.
Right, Dad?
Mom taught me that.
That's right.
She was super smart just like you.
I know.
It's also important to keep a good attitude.
Don't get down when you fail.
Yeah, I mean,
you only have one life to live
and you gotta give it all you got.
Yeah, I learned that from you.
You don't give up even when you fail really bad.
Well, yeah, but,
what do you mean?
Well you know how you're really bad at making breakfast
but you still try anyway and keep a good attitude?
I think that's cool.
Well, everybody else really likes my breakfast.
Yeah, you're doing so great.
But my super duper chocolate chip waffles?
Mhmm, they're the bomb, boom.
Sorry, dude, but, no.
Well, I wouldn't say that.
I mean they are better than his cheesy corn chip potatoes.
Don't get me started on those.
Meanies!
We're just trying to help.
Poor baby.
Come to mama.
One second.
Hi.
Can I help you?
No, I think we're good.
I'm Aiden Neville.
I believe you know my brother Paul?
Yeah, I believe he's one of our landlords
along with the Kings.
Yes, the Kings.
Well the Kings were actually thinking about selling us
half this building,
and we're looking to make a few improvements.
Good, we have lots of plans
and I'm really sorry to see the Kings move.
The Kings have been so kind.
I'm sorry to see them move.
Yes, yes, I'm sure you are.
Anyway, I think we can handle this by ourselves.
All right.
Hey, Miles, isn't that Miss Anderson?
Oh man, I had her for 10th in science.
Yeah.
That's weird.
Maybe she's here teaching STEM classes after school.
I'm gonna say hi.
Miss Anderson?
Hi, it's me Miles.
Miles Bennett and Stefani Spencer.
My, what a small world.
What brings you here?
Miles.
This is my fiancee, Paul Neville.
He owns this building.
He owns hundreds actually.
And his brother Aiden.
Not hundreds, dear, but our company owns 87.
Well, congratulations on getting engaged.
Thank you.
Thanks.
I've got myself quite the catch.
You could do better.
Are we ready?
Yeah, I think so.
Hi, I'm Stefani Spencer.
♪ Each one of us children has so much to say ♪
♪ We weather the sunshine and the rain ♪
♪ Seasons of heartache, seasons of change ♪
♪ Somehow we still remain ♪
♪ We are not alone ♪
♪ Truth will mend the soul ♪
See you next Wednesday.
Adios!
Bye bye, bye bye.
Oh, my bad.
- See you next Wednesday. - Bye.
Bye, kids.
The feedback that I'm getting from parents is awesome.
Please tell me you guys can stay on
for another six weeks?
Yeah, no, that shouldn't be a problem.
But I'll need to take the weekend off before finals
because I'm beyond hope.
I'm in.
Me too.
I think I'm enjoying this more than the kids.
Stef?
Oh.
I'm not sure.
Robert's a senior now and his family
is launching a new line.
He's gonna need me for a lot of weekend events.
I can't really commit, but,
I can help whenever I can.
Okay.
- Maybe Car or Haley can help. - Yeah, sure.
You're never gonna wanna touch me again.
I highly doubt that.
I don't get it.
How am I a woman with the 14 children
and there are things about pregnancy
that I didn't know about?
You know, I think you could lay off the baby books.
No, no.
Seriously, like three months from now
I'm going to be a bloated, gassy sasquatch.
No, no, with bad breath
and literally splitting apart at the seams.
Ooh, episiotomy chapter huh?
You knew about this and never told me?
Well, I have been patiently waiting 43 years
to exact my revenge.
You know, about that three months thing,
I was thinking,
if there was a way that we could just squeeze,
just a little bit extra,
maybe do some yoga poses,
and have the baby this year,
that would be tax deduction for this whole year.
Yeah?
Oh, oh, yeah, yeah,
that's fine with me.
But you're gonna have to talk to the guy.
Ooh.
Mom, you were right.
I should have done this when I was younger.
Mother knows best.
- Sometimes. - Grandma?
Yes dear?
Can I have a twick?
You do mean Twix, don't you dear?
No, I only want one.
That makes sense.
But I want the other one.
Do you think that's wise, dear?
You are getting a little thick around the middle.
I'm pregnant, mom.
Yes, dear.
Pregnant, at your age.
There should seriously be some kind
of karmic law against pregnancy, puberty, and dementia
in the same house.
Billie?
Don't forget to get the candy this time, okay?
Okay, I won't.
All right.
Why don't we get the day after Halloween off school?
It's one of the most important holidays for kids.
I hear you buddy.
But it's not really a holiday.
Jeez, how can I be expected of playing volleyball
after eating 25 candies?
And I gotta roll to school chubby!
What can I say, life isn't fair.
B, your costume is slowing us down.
To the next house.
Come on, ladies.
Excuse me, but we need water refilled.
Oh I'm just heading over to the table over here.
We've been waiting for 10 minutes.
Chop-chop, Lucy Liu.
I don't,
What was that about?
I have no idea.
I swear they were about to ask me about homework next.
Oh my god, and you're terrible at math.
Anyways, this is Cole, my dad.
Hi,
- nice to meet you. - Hi, call me Laura.
Hi, Laura.
And I want you guys to meet the head of A&R, John Gresh.
Nice to meet you.
It's really cool that you're coming through Michigan.
No, it's an honor to meet you.
We are huge fans
and can't wait to work with you on your first EP.
Sorry that her mom couldn't make it today but
well, we're excited to be here.
No worries.
You might even know the reason why we're here.
You know our biggest artist is playing the Star tonight.
Are you a fan of Logan French?
Yeah, yeah yeah, yeah.
He's got a really cool image.
Yeah, well, we've got a surprise for you.
Logan is joining us.
He's heard your work and he wants to meet you.
That's so flattering.
I mean, we have very different sound.
No, no, no, see.
See that's why we wanted you two to meet.
Logan does an amazing job of adapting his style
to what's commercially successful.
And you know, Laura kind of told me
you're struggling a little bit with that.
So we thought he could help.
Well that's very generous of him.
Ooh, he's here already.
Oh my god, you're Logan French.
Yeah, how are you?
I listen to your album every morning.
Thank you so much, I appreciate that.
Can I get a picture with you?
Yeah, of course.
- Nice to meet you. - Thank you so much.
You too.
Hey guys.
I'm probably one of the only morning people
in the music industry.
I'm karmically punctual.
I see, tonally different.
Logan, this is Pearl Song.
Your songs are really dope.
- It's nice to meet you. - Thank you.
Thank you.
And you're one bop Love Club,
it's really burning up the charts.
And we thought you two would spend a little time
talking music while we're gonna go over timetables
and contract with Dad, okay?
Well there's a music store across the street
and I have to get guitar strings anyway if you wanna hang
and jam out a bit?
Yeah, I'd really like that.
Cole, is this cool?
Yeah.
Sure, as long as Logan knows
there's a MMA champ sitting across the street, that's cool.
Don't worry, sir.
If I don't fear for my life,
you're sitting with the people
who have my career in their hands.
Yeah, right.
So, lead the way.
Okay yeah.
Gotta go.
Okay so, this is what I was told here.
Pearl just texted me.
OMG, I am hanging out with Logan French.
Should I be worried?
Only if you don't wanna be a grandmother.
Logan French is one of the hottest new teen pop stars
of the year, mhmm.
Well, that's reassuring.
Mmm, she's a smart girl.
And Cole is with her, right?
- Yeah. - Well.
She is, but,
teen hormones and pop stars have been known
to be a toxic combo.
I'm sure Cole's flexing his muscles menacingly nearby.
So are you ready for the baby shower?
I'm not ready for anything.
This morning I cried for five minutes
because my favorite shoes wouldn't fit.
Bless your heart.
I don't cry over shoes.
Well, everything's gonna be perfect
for the shower on Saturday.
Jules lands in 37 hours.
God, I miss her.
I can't believe I have a daughter in college
and a son on the way.
You're having a boy, oh!
You didn't tell me!
I wasn't supposed to.
Oh.
I'm a mess.
Cole told me he was going to do Sam's fundraiser auction,
and I swear, I hated him for an hour.
Why would you hate him
for going to a charity auction?
Because it's a bachelor auction
and they're short on desirable bachelors.
You're worried that some rich heifer's
gonna snatch him up while you're shopping
for adult diapers, hmm?
No.
But my brain is melting.
Well, pull it together, Doc.
You have a root canal on room two, eh?
Andale!
I'm fine.
Mhmm.
I'm fine.
♪ There's so much that doesn't show ♪
♪ So much we will never know ♪
♪ About each other ♪
♪ Unless we are brave enough ♪
♪ To face the undiscovered ♪
Logan, that's brilliant.
Why aren't you recording that?
Instead of selling out?
Okay, that's not what I'm-
- No, you're fine.
The thing people don't understand is that
music and stuff's still a part of me
that twists and turns,
but I know what I need to do
to build my fanbase so they'll support me
when I do put out the good stuff.
Yeah.
So you've come to recruit me to the dark side.
No, I genuinely wanna see you succeed.
I see a lot of potential in you.
But I know it's gonna take a compromise.
You're not at all what I expected.
I don't know what that is, but,
No, in a good way, in a good way, sorry.
We should probably get back
before your stepdad keeps his promise
to rip me apart with his bare hands.
Yeah.
It's getting late.
I need to be at the community center in 20 to teach, so.
Community center?
Yeah, yeah, I teach kids music.
It's a favor for family, I love it.
You're not at all what I expected either.
Thank you, yeah.
Hi, did you get my text?
What's wrong?
I have something I need to talk with you about.
It's about,
Oh, for goodness sakes, Stefani,
just go ahead and tell her.
It's about the music.
Oh, scheduling things?
I understand you're busy,
it's not that big of a deal, we can work-
- It's not that.
I'm quitting, Pearl.
Oh.
I'm sure the kiddos will miss you.
If she's your friend, she'll support your decision.
It's not just the teaching.
What?
I'm quitting the band.
Music is just frivolous for me.
I don't need it like you do
and I'm graduating early next December.
I really need to focus on a serious future.
Stef, you do need it and I need you.
She's not you.
She has her own goals.
Give us a moment, Bob.
It's Robert.
Anything you have to say to me
you can say in front of him.
Okay.
Okay yeah, yeah.
We are different, but,
do you remember the day we met?
I think so.
First day of third grade, right?
Yeah.
Yeah I was eight,
and I wore a Led Zeppelin shirt to school
and you remember how it just did not go over well?
Yeah.
So why don't you like Justin Bieber?
He's just not a quality musician.
His chord progressions are derivative
and the use of auto-tune is obsessive.
You're crazy.
He's perfect.
He has the voice and hair of an angel.
That hair, it's a distraction.
He's just another formulaic pretty boy
served up by the music industry.
You're so mean.
Nobody will be your friend.
Ladies, ladies.
Why are you picking on the new girl?
She said Justin Bieber was deriva-something.
She said his music was bad.
Well his choices are pedantic and immature.
He's carefully packaged and lacks nuance
and emotion and structure.
But Stefani, you're the president of his fan club!
Well, I am going to marry him someday.
I mean he's gorgeous and rich
but our prenup will say I never have to listen
to his ridiculous music.
Thanks.
I'm Stefani.
I like your shirt.
I'm Pearl.
You should come to my house.
I just got the new Sufjan Stevens album.
Okay.
We've been best friends for eight years.
Pearl, we won't stop being besties.
Okay.
Stef, that's not my point.
My point is that we are very different
but the thing that's always united us is our music.
I don't understand how you can't see that, Stef.
I just, I don't need it like you do.
But you do, Stefani.
You need the voice music gives you.
Well she's outgrown this little hobby.
Stay out of this, Bob.
He's right.
I'm done.
Excuse me, young lady.
In America we try to respect our elders,
probably doesn't even speak English,
sponging off our tax dollars.
See?
It means I am American, and you actually ran into me.
Yeah, well, hey,
I would get your paperwork in order
before you start mouthing off.
I'm here to see Adam Song.
Oh, he's my Uncle,
but he's in a class so you can make an appointment.
Oh, an appointment, okay.
Well, could you please tell him-
Can I help you?
I'm Adam.
Thank you.
Sir.
Your niece was just about to throw me out of the building.
I'm sorry.
Can I got a moment?
I believe he needs an interpreter.
I think he's deaf.
Yes, I got the gist of the exchange, Paul,
thank you very much.
This place is quite a menagerie, isn't it?
Hello.
Would you like to come into my office?
No.
No, that won't be necessary.
I'll be very brief.
The Kings have sold their half of the building
to my brother and I,
and our plans unfortunately do not include
a cute little get-together space here, so,
we're going to have to kindly ask you to
vacate the premises in the next 30 days.
We have a contract with your company
and the Kings for another three years.
So even though you decided to buy this building,
they wanna make sure that we continue running
our place here.
And we pay the first of the month.
You can't kick us out.
Yeah, excuse me.
You might wanna check clause 13F of your contract there.
It says if you're delinquent in any way,
then the lease renewal is subject to a provable solvency
for the following year.
We have a monthly pledge,
we have annual grants.
And our money tends to be variable
but we have never been late on our rent.
Ooh, another mistake.
I think last December they were late
and the December before that.
Okay, wait a minute.
The Kings covers one month every year from their grants
and so their money getting transferred to our account
takes a couple days.
Stop, look.
My hands are tied.
Your income is inconsistent, hmm?
Grants, donations and all of that,
they're not guaranteed.
But look, just look at it from my point of view.
What if a tenant, a reliable tenant comes to me
and says I want the place for a year or more or 10,
who knows how many years?
And I don't give it to them, I give it to you.
And the following month you come to me and say
oh I'm sorry Mr. Neville,
but could you please, could you just
give us a little extension?
That's not good business.
That just won't work, correct Paul?
No.
So I'm gonna have to ask you to place
your very favorable 30,000 dollars annual rent
into an escrow account before the end of this term
which is 30 days.
30 days?
That's impossible.
Look, Mr. Sing, Song,
I'm not a monster, hmm.
How about I give you another 10 days?
Call it a gift.
That takes you to,
well that takes you to the 24th.
Now there's a day you should be able to remember, hmm?
You either pay up or you get out.
Paul.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
And the prize for pin a sperm on the egg goes to,
Greg Rodriguez!
Somebody knows their way around with a blindfold.
And the winner of baby bottle bowling goes to Christopher.
Oh, hey.
And some people know their way around a nipple,
that's all I'm saying.
Hey.
I thought bowling was more about powerful balls.
Oh
it's a family event, boys, come on.
And the winner for the most creative baby name goes to
Grandma Song for Vermouth Compression Socks.
I though that was the shopping list.
And the winner of baby Song game
goes to our smarty pants college girl Jules.
Yeah!
No.
Stay here.
Mom?
Yes?
You're gonna need to let go, mom.
I need you to stay here.
I miss you so much.
Well.
And now Susan and Cole are gonna open
their baby gifts, okay?
Oh yeah.
Hey.
It is so itty bitty.
It's so cute.
Oh.
It is so cute.
Is mommy hurt?
No, Billie.
She's just very, very happy.
Then why is she crying?
Well, because she's also very, very crazy.
Don't worry, kiddo.
It's not permanent.
At least I hope not.
Have you met my ex-wife?
Grandpa.
Are you trash talking Mormor?
Just making conversation.
I hear that.
Oh, grandpa.
I never met the guy.
Sure.
There's gotta be something.
You are so weak, Paul.
This is the sort of thing
that should have gone through my lawyer.
I don't see the problem, Aiden.
You found a clause that can work in our favor.
That's right, I found it.
But that contract would have been much more in our favor
if you had involved me in the first place.
But you heard them.
There's no way they can come up with that kind of money
in 40 days.
There are no new grants this time of year.
Everyone is begging.
You do understand that this is why
father left me in complete control
of all company decisions.
But mother left majority control
of the property to me, and,
I don't think she'd approve of putting these kids out
on Christmas eve.
Yeah, because she was soft like you.
Of course she knew that you'd be helpless on your own
so she wanted to make sure that her baby
had a safety net.
Don't insult mother.
She was a saint.
You'd better hope that they do not figure this out.
This is a multi-million dollar development deal
that depends on us acquiring the entire block
that is 5,000 square feet of prime retail space.
A lot more valuable than these kids' little playground!
I'm telling you, if they do raise the money, if they do,
you, big brother,
you are gonna have to figure it out.
Not me!
You do realize,
that that clause gives them an automatic renewal
for two years on the lease
if they raise the money this year.
You put that together?
Look at me.
You're pathetic.
I just overheard something.
And you need to get that contract looked over again.
We only need one year's rent.
Well that's something.
They're all yours, Grandpa.
Thanks, Dylan.
Is everybody here?
Yeah, everybody is present and accounted for.
Okay.
Uncle Adam's community center.
Now we all know how much good
Uncle Adam's done for the last two years
with at-risk families.
Now they have until Christmas to raise 30,000 dollars
or they are out on the streets.
Now I can make some calls but we have got to get creative.
We're still getting a little bit of ad revenue
from the talent show video.
You know, Grannies on the Go,
they're always looking for new programs.
Maybe we could pair up lonely seniors
with at-risk youth and kill two birds
with one bullet.
I think you mean stone, Grandma.
Well, that doesn't make sense.
I mean, how would you kill two birds with one stone?
I mean, with a bullet you just line them up
and it's a clean shot.
You know what, she's got me there, yup.
You know, I love the idea.
Can you make some calls?
We can put up donation cans at my office
and at the gym.
Yeah.
We can have a bake sale.
As long as you don't eat the profits.
I can sell some of my toys.
That's very sweet, Billie.
You know what, maybe we could sell Theo's trumpet.
I'm getting better.
I'm joining Pearl's band when I get big.
That's right.
You know, Theo, I like the sound of that.
Oh, don't say it, Judy Garland.
Why not?
We have so much talent here,
we could put together a show and broadcast it live.
There is that stage at the center.
I mean, the sound system needs some work.
Frank?
And I can decorate it.
I could get my social media class to help
with the marketing.
But we only have five weeks.
Whoah, whoah, whoah, whoah, hold on.
What about school?
And how about songs for a new label?
I've been pretty stuck recently.
This could be the inspiration I need.
I'm in.
You know what, me too.
I think we're all in.
We're crazy.
You guys, I hate to break up this family moment
but I've gotta get to the airport.
- Oh no. - Why?
Safe travels.
- We'll miss you. - Oh, Jules.
- Oh. - Come here.
I need a group hug.
Group hug!
Okay I have to get that flight now for real.
Hey Frank, can I talk to you?
Yeah, what's up?
I have another idea.
A backup plan, but,
I'll need some help.
Does it involve breaking any laws?
Ethical or judicial?
Possibly.
Then I'm in.
Hey, sweety.
How was band practice?
Oh.
It was all right.
We can live without a sax
and Haley and Car are picking up the harmonies, but,
we are really feeling her absence.
I always knew I needed her but
this feels very different.
But you know, we're working out the kinks.
It'll be all right.
Yeah, I get it.
Are you okay?
I'm....
I'm just missing Jules.
The plane landed an hour ago, but
I know there's 13 kids running around, but,
it's like the shape of the family changed when she left.
Yeah I miss her too, yeah.
I can go get Frank
and we can insult each other for your amusement
if you'd like.
But you have this little guy though.
Mmm, yeah.
Ah, my god.
You are not allowed to leave me ever.
Ever.
Okay.
You're so silly.
No, you're silly.
Silly meal so I got schmutz on your shoulder.
Oh, there you are, darling.
I got off the phone, I didn't know where you went.
I just thought I'd help my poor baby
by bringing Aiden your updated reports.
You two seem to be getting along.
I'm making an effort to get along
with my future brother for you.
All right, folks.
I believe that we are all here so let's get to it.
Tessa's provided each of you
with a revised copy of the blueprints
as well as an updated timeline for the new city center.
If these projections are accurate,
we should have a good Christmas next year.
Quite right, Bitsy, I think
the Sloans are going to be very pleased
with your decision.
I really like the cabaret and cigar bar
on the ground floor of the old King building.
Now there's months of renovation left on that building.
How soon will it be vacant?
Well, there's a small snag there, but,
Paul!
Nonsense.
They'll be out by Christmas.
Paul has been working on
these stage renovations and decor.
I've already measured and ordered the drapes.
Well Stevie and I insist on sharing
the first bottle of Berlin Croft from the new wine cellar.
Ooh, perhaps you can save a taste or two for me
and Paul of course.
Of course.
Let's not pop our corks a little too early here ladies.
We still have a lot of work to do and
you and I have to get some checks up to accounting
now that we have begun phase two.
Yeah I've got Philip's funds.
He and Steve Stroe are still in Dubai, so.
Great, there was an issue with the wire transfer
but we're good.
All right, let's go.
Paul.
How is our little problem?
Well, it's pretty quiet so far.
I haven't seen any grand plans.
I want you to stay on top of it.
Try not to disappoint mother.
Oh, and you left out one of the bids
in this package.
Don't worry, Aiden.
Listen, Tess, you wanna grab some lunch?
I'm gonna be working late tonight.
I'm gonna head to the ladies room
but I'll be back in a couple of minutes.
All right, just meet me in my office
when you're done.
Hmm.
How can you let that dog slobber all over you like that?
Well I never really knew what a real man was
until I met you.
That's right.
Besides, you need me to keep my eye
on a few things.
That I do.
Go on.
Oh.
Hey, hey.
You wanna pick up your trash here, dearie?
Pretty soon, there isn't gonna be room
for people like you on this street
so just pick it up and
you might wanna move out, all right?
Thank you, have a nice day.
Oh.
Well, well, there is still some kindness here.
We did what anyone would do.
Yeah and I've got some paper in my backpack
if you wanna cut up some more.
Oh, no, no here, here.
You take this.
Now if you tape that in your window,
you're gonna get a snow day.
Miss, you look familiar.
I mean I know I've seen you out here before.
I just have one of those kind of faces.
Um miss, could we persuade you to
do a little favor for us?
Well, you are kind kids, but
I'm afraid I ain't got nothing much to offer you.
Well, how would you like a Thanksgiving makeover
to pull a little prank on someone?
Oh, no, I don't want any trouble.
Now what are you up to?
No good, but, it involves a little trouble
for your friend there in the suit.
Oh, I'm in.
All right, our next bachelor up for auction is
Christopher, our muscular gym manager.
Let's start the bidding at 100 dollars,
what do you think, ladies?
100 dollars, can I start the bidding at 100?
All right, let's start at 50,
let's start at 50 dollars.
50 dollars, I have 50 dollars.
So 50, get any more, can I get more than 50?
Let's do 50 going once, 50 going twice,
100 dollars from our mystery bidder in the back,
100 going once, twice,
sold, thank you ma'am.
Thank you Christopher.
Nice job, ladies.
Our next bachelor is a national MMA champion.
He's the owner of Champion's gym.
You guys have seen him starring
in the Freeman textiles commercials
and he's got a pretty good Swedish accent.
Get your pals ready ladies, for Cole Bennett!
All right, so here we go.
Let's start the bidding at 100 dollars.
Can I get 100 dollars, 100.
Yes, I have 100.
100, looking for two, can I get two,
yeah I get two.
Two and three, can I get three?
300 dollars, 300 looking for four.
300 dollars looking for four, 400 dollars.
500 so fast, we're doing great here, Cole.
500, looking for six.
Can I get six?
Six, now seven, 700 dollars?
Going once,
Say something in Swedish.
They want you to say something in Swedish.
I've got 1000 dollars!
A thousand dollars?
That's a great bid, a thousand dollars.
Can I get more than a thousand dollars?
Is there anybody that'll bid more than a thou?
1,500 dollars.
1500 dollars?
That would be a new record.
1500 going once.
1500 going twice.
And for a new record for the charity,
sold for 1500 dollars!
Nice job.
He's asleep.
Ready for it?
I think so.
Gloria, this camera's running through a program
to make you look like a hologram
so don't move too much.
And there's a hidden mic
so you can hear him in your earbud.
And there's a speaker in your wig
so he can hear you through that little mic.
Okay.
You know the script, right?
You ready?
I don't know, boys.
I don't think he'll buy it.
Then we're no worse off than before.
And remember, you have to make sure
he's distracted or his eyes are closed
before we shut you off
or else he might notice the projector.
Okay, okay.
Paul?
Paul Montgomery Neville.
Paul!
Is someone?
Don't you recognize me?
Am I dreaming?
I appear to those in need
in the form of those they love most.
Mother?
I am the ghost of holidays past.
Isn't that Christmas past?
We say holidays now.
Oh.
What do you want with me?
I am disappointed, my Monty bear.
Monty bear?
It is you!
Why are you sad, mommy?
Why are you trying to shut down the center?
We have to make profits.
Aiden has a huge deal
and we need the whole block.
I'm trying to make good decisions.
Good decisions and most profits
are not always compatible.
Daddy always made tough decisions.
Aiden always said that-
- Let me tell you a story from 1961.
Are you gonna fly me back to our house on Cornell?
Always the flair for the dramatic.
No, there are special effects everywhere now.
We prefer to keep it simple, hmm.
Where was I?
Oh yes, back at the little house.
We were so poor then,
why we only had one maid who just came in weekly.
Mildred.
Now every Thanksgiving,
your father would bring Mildred a huge turkey
and bags of groceries.
And when you were six, he let you
give Mildred her gift.
I forgot the bag with the pies.
Hmm, he made you ride downtown
to take them to that patched up little house?
I'd never seen a place like that.
Mildred was serving food to a dozen people in rags.
She could have eaten for a week
but she gave most every bit to the others.
And what did you father tell you?
That she was a fool.
You have to take care of yourself and your family.
Father confessed he was trying to toughen you up
but that soon he would teach you
how important people like Mildred were.
You see, in that room perhaps
there was a hungry child
who would find the cure for cancer
if only someone gave him hope.
After that, he brought Mildred food
for every holiday.
Really?
But father always said
that you have to take care of yourself.
I guess he didn't live long enough
to teach you and Aiden the most important lessons.
Oh, he built strong spines
but he never got a chance to show you
how the heart is most important.
Wish I would have known this side of father.
And now I need to go, my darling.
But I still have so many questions.
Tell me.
Oooh, I hear the angels calling me.
Now just lean back and close your eyes for a moment.
What the heck is happening in here?
Just a little project.
Are you projecting this somewhere?
It's to Paul Neville's office.
Well I just saw his evil brother come in
through the lobby, so.
Shoot.
We gotta keep him away from Paul's office
or we're gonna be in big trouble.
I'm getting the heck out of here.
Mr. Neville, hi, I am so glad I caught you.
What are you doing in here?
I just wanted to apologize
for being so rude to you last week.
Fine, then get out of my building.
I realize you're a very important man
and I was wondering if maybe you could give me
some advice for an aspiring musician?
Yeah sure, stay in school, stay off drugs,
get yourself a real job.
Okay, I was thinking maybe more you could like
listen to my music and give me your opinion.
I really don't have time for this.
What is wrong with you?
What are you doing?
I love doing that!
I mean I used to when I was a kid.
Didn't you?
♪ Elevator fun's like a Christmas tree ♪
♪ Brings back childhood to me ♪
♪ Elevator puns parading around ♪
♪ You gotta love that dinging sound ♪
♪ Pooom like Christmas bells ♪
♪ I can make a song about anything ♪
You know, we do have security in this building, hmm?
Out of my way.
Five, four, three, two, one.
Mommy?
Paul, what, what?
Aiden, Aiden!
Mommy was just here!
She sang to me.
We talked about Dad.
And she even talked about the old house on Cornell.
Interesting.
So now you're talking to dead people.
Hey mom, hey dad.
I'm right with you, brother.
Carry on.
Yeah?
Ah, hi Sam.
Hey, Sam.
Hey, Sam, what's up, man?
It's been a long time.
I'm just getting ready for a show in New York.
In the Caymans getting ready for a shoot.
They're doing great work here.
The show's on December 22nd.
Oh dude, that's rad.
I just wanna know.
Can I count on you for an appearance or a donation
to support these great kids?
Well that sounds great, yeah,
I'd love to take part.
Thanks, Mitch.
Thank you, Mr. Vice President.
Sure, I can help.
Oh, the Swish would love to make an appearance, man, but,
the Swish and the minions are about to hit the road
for a tour, I'm sorry.
Okay, thanks anyway.
Wait, I got an idea.
How about a signed guitar by the Swish?
That'll work, that'll make you some money.
Super!
Man, you always come through.
Thank you very much.
All right, rad, man.
I'll talk to you soon.
Ciao.
Hey, son.
Hey dad.
I need a favor.
Can you keep an eye on the house?
The little ones are already asleep.
Sure, yeah, I gotta make some calls to the west coast
since it's after nine, just leave the door open.
Where you heading?
Promised Svenska I was gonna help her
with something at the house, so yeah.
Svenska?
Yeah, you know, the benefactor.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
Well, we hit it off, we had a great time
and I told her I'd pop by this week.
All right.
Thanks, you're the man.
Cole?
Cole.
Do you have the file with the kids' social security numbers?
Yeah, I'm hopping in the shower though.
But hey, I emptied my pockets in the kitchen somewhere.
It should be on my phone.
I don't know my own password.
How do you expect me to?
Obviously I don't know yours.
Okay, any little ears around?
No.
Okay, all caps.
HDA14+1.
HDA14?
Got it.
What's wrong, dear?
Cole is apparently having an affair with
someone named Svenska.
Well, dear.
You can't keep them locked in your embrace
their whole lives, you know.
Mom, what?
Well, men need the freedom to explore
what is out there in the world
and he's not a child anymore.
I say, cest la vie.
Wow, cool, thanks, Mom.
Hey, Grandma.
Duncan.
Saul, Cole.
No, I'm Dylan, Grandma.
Of course.
Well if you see your brother Cole,
tell him that your mother is very concerned
that he's dating.
Oh, this tooth.
Definitely need Valium.
I don't think you're allowed to have Valium, Grandma.
Oh, crap, that's right.
I never asked, okay, Duncan?
Dylan.
Okay, Grandma.
Hey Grandma?
Duncan!
Saul, Cole, Cole.
No, Cole is my,
never mind.
Duncan is dating Cole.
Thank you for coming.
Lauren and I met backstage
at the talent show thing last year and we connected online.
I remember you.
You were awesome and beautiful.
Aw, thank you.
I'm so excited by what you guys are trying to do.
It's a great cause.
Yeah.
And she's also a dope choreographer,
so I was thinking she could have some cool input
on our finale.
But as far as your solo piece, you're in.
Wonderful.
As for a group finale, I have a few ideas
and wanna know more.
Thank you.
Weren't you the stage manager at the state show?
You perform?
Yeah, I'm actually a singer and a dancer.
Great.
I volunteered to stage manage last year
when I missed the deadline to compete.
Well, we're really excited to see what you can do.
♪ Silent night ♪
♪ Holy night ♪
♪ All is calm ♪
You do realize you'll have to be
on a stage with an audience?
Is it a requirement to face the audience?
I got this, I'm just a little nervous, sorry.
Well let's think about that.
Thank you, Mr. Kavanaugh.
Well thank you.
So sorry guys, I feel like I got this.
Here we go.
Hey neighbors.
Oh, Winnifred Hawkins-White,
I didn't expect to see you here.
I've actually been writing and playing music
with my cousin for years.
I had no idea.
This just didn't seem like my kind of thing.
Look, whatever my mom says,
you guys were actually really kind neighbors.
A little loud sometimes, but nice.
I love your dress.
Thank you.
I saw your fundraiser posted
and I really admire what you're doing.
I'm glad you share a passion for the community.
To be honest, I'm driven way more by the fact
that this is really, really gonna piss off my mom.
Bonus.
Let's see what you got.
Why is Aiden having you assemble these?
I mean shouldn't an assistant be doing this?
Information's too proprietary.
We can't risk having anyone else's eyes on this.
Now when I'm done with this last number
they will get printed and locked up.
Thanks for helping.
Of course, darling.
Hey, hey, hey.
Did you replace the pages, fix all the totals?
Yeah, yeah, of course.
You are a rock star.
I can't believe this time next month
all this will be mine.
You mean ours, Aiden.
Yes, yes, of course yes, ours.
Paul Montgomery Neville, wake up!
Huh?
Who are you?
Really?
I'm the ghost of holidays present.
Shouldn't you look kinda like Santa?
Fool, where have you been?
Haven't your mama explained last week?
Hello, holidays.
I'm the Kwanza Queen.
Who are they?
Look closer.
Ugh, peasants.
I hate poor people.
And puppies, I kick puppies!
Please sir, can't we have just a crust of bread?
Does that crutch work?
It's a good prop for the suckers.
I want all the moneys.
Why is he so mean?
You know Billie, because he is a monster.
I don't know, maybe his shoes are too tight.
Oh, I see.
My brother.
Got any puppies I can kick?
No, he's not that bad.
He's a bit greedy and critical
but he works hard to make the Neville name.
Oh, Aiden darling, you're so smart and powerful.
Here's a puppy for you to kick.
Oh no, poor puppy.
Let's kick all the puppies
and children off the street.
And your weak brother too.
Let's take all the money.
No.
No, that's not my Tessa.
I mean Aiden is a bit cold, but,
Tessa's an angel.
Dude, are you sure?
We brought a visual aid this time.
Are you sure?
Yeah, he deserves to know.
Besides, they're his security cameras anyway.
This way he finds out before it's too late.
Ah, Tessa dear, with your help
we are gonna fix my mother's little problem
and flip controlling interest of Neville
to where my father always intended it.
You're right.
So pathetic.
A few more years of him controlling this company and
we would be reduced to strip malls.
Well, he sure doesn't have your vision and fortitude.
You know, you are 10 times the man Paul Neville
will ever be.
So, how was your Thanksgiving?
It was fine.
Mine was delicious.
Wait, fine?
What do you mean fine?
Cole is having an affair with some heifer
- from the bachelor auction. - No.
No way, not Cole.
You know I would know if he were-
- Why would you know?
Well, don't be mad.
I didn't tell you yet
but I've been dating Christopher.
Oh.
Girl, he is fine.
A few fixable qualities, but,
but a good man.
Oh I'm sorry girl.
You know, I'm sorry for going on.
Are you okay?
Does it look like I'm okay?
I can't believe this.
Mm-mmm, not Cole.
And Chris is his best friend.
Oh you should hear the way he talks about you.
I took a picture of his texts with Svenska.
Oh, girl.
Her name, her name even,
even sounds like, Svenska.
You know, I'm too much of a lady to say.
Do you think I should follow him after work?
In what disguise, huh?
Maybe as Santa Claus right now?
Oh, wait, I'm sorry, I'm sorry girl, listen.
That wasn't very,
Just...
Bless your heart.
Listen, I'm gonna talk to Chris,
see what I can find out, okay?
Mira, I'm gonna get to the bottom of this.
Okay?
Just go ahead and sign in, okay?
Forgot my purse.
- Okay? - It's fine.
Put Theo on stage a lot.
Because last time, the audience freaking loved Theo.
He's refined like a star.
No, I don't know.
I know he said this as kind of a joke
but what if we just let Theo do his thing?
With no choreography, but like-
Can we help you?
Hmm?
Ah, yes.
I'm not sure what you're working on here
but I wouldn't bet on it getting very far.
Oh, we were just gonna do a small show
to raise some rent money,
but you're probably right.
What can some little kids do
against a big businessman?
Hmmm.
Don't you be patronizing with me.
My connections run very deep.
In fact I wouldn't be surprised
if you're paid a visit from the government very soon.
You see, the problem is with people like you,
you and your families,
you start running out of places to hide
wherever you're from,
so what do you do, you come into this country, my country,
you come in, more often than not, illegally
and you start looking for handouts, freebies.
Well I can tell you this.
They're not coming out of this pocket, mmm-mmm.
You will be out of this building by Christmas.
Statistically speaking, immigrants
are half as likely to commit a crime as regular citizens.
So you can live in your little privileged bubble,
but the world doesn't belong to you.
Yeah, yeah, bravo.
Bravo, bravo.
You are well trained little puppets, aren't you?
Good luck with your little play
and you know what, I might even get myself a ticket.
Could prove to be very interesting.
Thank you.
But you should hurry up because they're almost sold out.
It's empty.
Toss it for me, sweety.
You know how to clean a house, right?
Wait.
Are we actually almost sold out?
No.
No, no, no.
But we might be.
You're actually calling Logan French right now?
Wait, she knows Logan French?
Where have I been?
Where do you usually go, Car?
Hey.
Hi, hi Logan.
I was just calling to see if you were gonna come down
to Michigan to see your Grandma.
Oh, I think we are.
How's it going finding the perfect hit song?
Don't ask.
I've been a little distracted.
Do you know when you might be in?
Well my tour doesn't end for another 10 days.
I don't have to be back in New York until the 30th.
Is there a reason for me to come back sooner?
We could write some tunes together?
Yeah, I'd like that.
But look, I have a huge favor to ask.
And I promise, I'll write all weekend.
A favor?
Okay, shoot.
Hey J-Pug, can you help me with song ideas?
Okay.
How about a song about net neutrality?
Everybody's got an opinion about it
but nobody's written a hit song about it.
Okay.
Writing down net neutrality.
Not sure how to make that personal.
Really?
Dire Straits wrote a song
about a bunch of factory workers complaining,
and it became a hit song.
Hey, guess what?
- What's up, little beastie? - What?
I wanna sing at school.
We all wrote a list to Santa
and mine got picked to read at the whole school
at our party next week.
Wow.
That's pretty cool, buddy.
Only, I'm kind of nervous.
Well, would you like to practice in front of us?
Okay.
Dear Santa, I hope you are having a good Christmas
or Hanukkah if you're Jewish,
or Kwanzaa if you're African.
Or whatever that T thing is about if you're Chinese.
My birth mom is Muslim
so I get to hug everyone three times and give them a date.
Not like the kissing kind of date, yuck.
This kind is a fruit.
Maybe I will leave you one instead of cookies.
I'm from a place called Syria
but you probably knew that.
I hope you go there a lot on Christmas Eve
because there are lots of sad children there with no toys.
Plus I don't want any toys for Christmas
or Eid, or whatever.
I just want other kids to get mommies, that's all.
Can you please bring all the kids in Syria
and wherever they don't have the mommies and daddies
because they are the best thing.
No offense to the elves
but mommies are better than any other crap,
sorry, they make.
I got Kwanzaa, Eid, Christmas, Hanukkah, T-time.
Your friend, Theo.
#alliwantforchristmasismoremomms
Oh Theo, that's just beautiful.
Thanks, Grandma.
Only, is there a Santa?
'Cause Andrea said there wasn't.
Or why didn't those kids in Syria already get toys?
Well, Theo.
Someone very wise once told me
that just because something isn't real
doesn't mean it's not true.
As long as you believe.
Thanks, Pearl.
I'm gonna go read to mommy.
I hope she doesn't crazy cry.
You want some help moving that keyboard upstairs?
Yeah, sure.
I think I'm ready to go write that song.
Pearl.
Hi.
Did you get it?
Yeah, I did.
Hi, Pearl.
I hope you are well.
Hi, Robert.
I just came by to talk to Stef for a sec.
Well she certainly doesn't need my permission
to talk with an old friend.
How progressive of you.
Guys.
I really did like it, Pearl.
Thank you.
But you're my sounding board
and I am not quite finished with it yet.
I need a Stef breakdown.
Well that, that was a nice catchup,
but she's not in the music game anymore.
Robert, it's just a conversation.
What, you get sucked into things like this
because they're fun, easy, intellectual bubble gum
and then you lose focus.
It's not bubble gum.
Stefani, I'm trying to help you.
I mean, you're a beautiful girl.
But if you persist in wasting your time
on frivolous pursuits,
you'll never develop any functional skills.
So you're just saying I have nothing else
to offer the world besides being pretty?
Sweetheart, you know nothing about politics or history.
Technology, business, sports.
I mean you're not unintelligent.
You have tremendous potential.
But you insist on filling your pretty little head
with things that don't matter.
And then, there's no more room left
for the things that do.
To you.
What?
Things that don't matter to you.
Stef is an encyclopedia of pop culture, art, fashion.
Things that inspire people and make them feel things.
That is so incredibly important.
And if you cared about her
half as much as you care about yourself,
you would see how freaking brilliant she is.
Pearl.
I'm sorry.
I just have one problem with the song.
What?
I don't see any place for a killer saxophone solo.
Bob?
This is ridiculous, you kidding me?
Listen, here's what I'm gonna tell you.
You are not Gucci material, okay?
Bye.
And also one more thing,
No, freaking Bob.
I've missed you.
I'm finally giving up on men.
We're gonna go all golden girls
and live together as old maids.
No, seriously, a boy, who?
Maybe.
And maybe Logan French.
Shut up, seriously?
To heck with the song.
You're gonna need professional advice
and maybe a tweezer, come on.
Thank you all for coming so soon.
Please, pass them down.
Is everything okay, Aiden?
Uh, yes, no, well,
we had a problem and then a solution
albeit a difficult one for me personally.
The first document there is the initial report
that we handed out to investors.
It includes expenses to date
as well as all the accepted bids
for phase two of the St. Matthews project.
Now the second document, the one that you've just received,
I just discovered in a second set of books
being kept by my brother.
You'll notice that in the initial report,
all the figures, the expenses, the bids
are all much higher than in the second report
which indicates to me that
my misguided brother,
has been cooking the books.
Why, I don't know.
I suppose to tap into the margins that he created,
I don't know.
But my fastidious oversight caught this in time.
And I do not think that this is an insurmountable problem.
I don't understand, Aiden.
These numbers seem to be identical
and include notarized copies of the bids and receipts.
Please hold.
Yes, it appears that Tessa
has copied the same report.
No, the numbers match
but the reports have different dates and fonts
and only one has the backup data.
What's going on, Aiden?
Should we be concerned?
No, no, no no.
I've just been handed incorrect information
but rest assured, I will get to the bottom of this.
In the meantime, know that all accounts
have been locked.
Nobody can touch them, money is safe.
You don't need to be concerned.
Hi.
Mrs. Green, I'm Selena.
And I'm Babbette, but my friends call me Babe.
So excited to get started.
This is our first.
Both, not together.
We both have baby daddies.
AKA husbands.
I'm sorry, I'm not the instructor.
This is kind of my first too.
Oh, I thought,
I mean we just assumed you were the instructor.
I'm just as new to all this.
Oh, but you're,
Oh wow, you go, girl, look at you,
I mean, my mom is 49 and she's like
I am too old to be changing any diapers.
Great.
I'm gonna go find my husband.
Cool.
So awkward.
Hi everyone, sorry I'm running a little bit late.
So we're just gonna get right to it.
Actually it looks like some of us
are still missing our partners
so let's just wait another minute.
- Hi. - Oh, hey.
How are you?
I'm good, how are you?
Oh come here.
This is Selena and this is,
Babe, yeah, I know, we met.
Class is starting.
All right.
Hey, tell Ted and Gary to stop by
the new gym, okay?
- Yeah. - Good.
Bye, Mr. and Mrs. Bennett.
See you next week.
Oh, hey, Susan.
Are you in a hurry or you got a little time?
Yeah.
Yeah, Mom has the littles,
your dad is with her too, so yeah, why?
If you're not too super exhausted
I wanna take you to meet someone.
We're gonna leave your car here,
it'll be 10, 15 minutes.
Okay.
- Come on. - Fine.
Come on, come on, come on, come on.
So this is my friend Svenska's house.
♪ Please don't be wasting my time ♪
♪ With that business ♪
♪ Who you kidding man ♪
♪ Yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪
♪ Wow yeah swear to god I'm with it ♪
♪ I don't see nobody in my lane ♪
Ah Cole,
I make you some
Hi, Mormor.
Lana, my sweet granddaughter.
I hoped you would meet.
And this must be your beautiful bride.
You have such a sweet husband.
You're lucky to have a sweet husband.
You're Svenska?
Yes.
And you are the beautiful and brilliant Susan.
You must be Lana.
And you're responsible for our new friendship.
Yes.
I heard you speak Swedish at the auction.
Mormor always goes on about how much
she misses her husband, and,
how much she misses her language.
Dolph and I came here when we were just married.
The children resisted learning Swedish.
I went to this event to help orphans
and I left with a dear friend
who I can speak with.
Mormor told me what you did
and got that horrible raccoon out of her attic.
He was all scratched up.
But I make it up to you.
I baked his favorite Swedish dish,
Pastry?
Mhmm.
Raccoon.
Claw marks.
Best ever.
- Best ever. - Oh, no no.
You know what?
You are wonderful and I love you.
Oh.
Baby you are completely bonkers.
I love you and I love you.
I love all of you.
I love you guys so much.
I love you too, honey.
She's completely bonkers.
Oh my god!
You scared me.
Oh, but I guess that's the point, right?
Ghost of holidays future?
What are these?
Your past, present and future.
I don't understand.
This is my father's old accounting journal,
some photo albums and,
what's on the flash drive?
These old buildings are filled with surprises
including a 25 year old hidden security system.
Who are you?
Once the tapes are full,
they're taped over until replaced.
Surprisingly they still work
with four hidden cameras.
The flash is a highlight reel
that might help you with your future.
Okay, okay.
What about the rest?
We thought they might help you.
Paul, Paul, Paul!
Come on man, I heard you screaming from down the hall.
Did you fall asleep again?
Have another nightmare?
What is that?
Security!
Security, get in here!
Wait, wait, wait, where'd it go?
Where did what go?
Wait, is that safe?
The thing, the thing, the thing,
it was just right there.
This demon, you saw it, it was floating.
No I think you've been working too hard, little brother.
Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to the St. Matthews Holiday Extravaganza Fundraiser!
Tonight is a night of holiday joy,
music, dancing, magic and comedy.
But mostly it's a night to help the children.
I hope you are all inspired by the spirit of the holidays
and our show, to open up your hearts and your wallets.
And now, without any further ado,
I'm excited to introduce our host
and my childhood hero, Dr. Bunsen.
Mr. Sam Bennett!
Thank you.
There you go, high five, thanks kids.
Happy holidays, everyone.
And thank you for taking a break
from your holiday festivities of shopping,
baking, and parties
to join us for this great cause.
So without further ado,
I give you the Stony Creek Chamber Choir!
Well, is he here yet?
No.
Did you call him?
Yeah, but, he's not responding to anything.
He'll be here.
Next up, 13 year old Winnifred Hawkins-White
will perform an original song titled Free.
♪ I got independence running through my veins ♪
♪ Gonna take this life of mine ♪
♪ And grab it by the reins ♪
♪ Oooh ♪
♪ I make mistakes every day of my life ♪
♪ I make mistakes way too many to count ♪
♪ But every mistake that I made in my life ♪
♪ It made me better 'cause I made it count ♪
♪ Not taking Ls but I'm taking lessons ♪
♪ Gaining knowledge, coming back for seconds ♪
♪ A part of wisdom, now I'm saying the seconds ♪
♪ You know I'm saving time because I got the message ♪
♪ I work from cartwheels to doing backflips ♪
♪ But on the way there there was some crack ♪
You guys.
Did you just see Miles and Dad's dance moves?
Oh my god.
No way.
♪ Then you see my path and they conversating ♪
♪ But when I level up in the conversation ♪
♪ In the conversation ♪
Oh my god, Pearl, I'm so sorry.
My Grandma fell with this thing
and it had sauce and then she fell in the sauce.
And then we thought she broke her hip
and then when I tried to go help her with the sauce
my phone fell.
Grandma's fine.
Oh, okay.
My phone isn't.
Oh, well, I'm sorry to hear that
but look, you're on like right now.
Do you need water, tea?
No, I'm good, I have my own.
And don't apologize, it's for a good cause.
Yeah.
So what are you performing?
Probably gonna start out with some sellout music
to get the crowd hyped.
Oh.
I'm so sorry about that.
I didn't mean to say that you're a sellout artist.
It's just, you're so talented and
all they see is this attractive piece of clay
that they can mold into money.
So you think I'm attractive?
I think the universe,
and it's like a known thing that you're attractive
in the universe.
So you don't think that I'm attractive?
Well I never said that
I disagree with them.
Like I see what they see in you.
So does the fact that I think you're funny,
amazing and very, very, very, very attractive
make you feel any sort of way?
I'm saying that,
wait, you do?
I don't...
We are so blessed to have a very special guest here
to support our great cause.
He signed a record deal in high school just recently
for Abstruse Records
and his hit song Love Club
has recently been surpassed by his new hit song.
I'm sorry if I was reading into this
and made this awkward.
Oh, no it's okay.
I'm always kind of a
moderate level of awkward, so.
Okay, well I should probably get up there.
Yeah your fans.
Yeah.
Logan.
Go be true.
What, what?
Ladies and gentlemen,
please make him feel welcome, Logan French!
Hey Detroit!
How you guys doing?
I'm going to be bringing out the band in a little bit
to sing a few songs that you guys already know.
But I wanted to start off tonight with something new.
Hope you like it.
♪ When the music is fading away ♪
♪ And you can't find the right words to say ♪
♪ You don't know where to start ♪
♪ Look for the song inside your heart ♪
♪ And be strong, never give up ♪
♪ Hold on, you are the one ♪
♪ I could take you higher ♪
♪ Let me feel your fire ♪
♪ Look into my eyes, you can't deny it baby ♪
♪ You ought to meet me at the love club ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ See you ought to meet me at the love club ♪
♪ Peace between and surge of love ♪
♪ People singing from the loft ♪
♪ Peace on earth and happy hearts ♪
♪ Don't stop believing just because ♪
♪ Just because they say it's not real ♪
♪ Doesn't mean it's not true ♪
♪ You gotta show him all the love you feel ♪
♪ So they can feel it too ♪
♪ Give them a reason to believe in a season of love ♪
♪ It's a season of love, love, love ♪
♪ A season of love ♪
♪ I believe in love, love, love ♪
♪ A season of love ♪
♪ My Muslim friends celebrate the end of sorrow ♪
♪ On the holiday of Eid ♪
♪ They get dressed up ♪
♪ Dance and sing ♪
♪ That sure sounds fun to me ♪
♪ My Jewish cousin brought me to a party ♪
♪ For the festival of lights ♪
♪ People let me tell you ♪
♪ I have never had a better time in all my life ♪
♪ So many ways we holiday ♪
♪ But it all comes back to just one thing ♪
♪ That's love, love, love ♪
♪ A season of love ♪
♪ I believe in love, love, love ♪
♪ A season of love ♪
♪ So tell your father, your mother, and your sister too ♪
♪ Your uncle, your brother, and your best friend's boo ♪
♪ Gather all the neighbors ♪
♪ Tell them what we're gonna do ♪
♪ We're gonna celebrate the holidays with you sugar ♪
♪ Love, love, love ♪
♪ The season of love ♪
♪ I believe in love, love, love ♪
♪ The season of love ♪
♪ Love, love, love ♪
♪ The season of love ♪
♪ I believe in love, love, love ♪
♪ The season of love ♪
♪ I believe in love, love, love ♪
♪ The season of love ♪
♪ Love, love, love ♪
♪ The season of love ♪
♪ I believe in love, love, love ♪
♪ The season of love ♪
Well.
That was a modeling display, huh.
Let's just pray that the masses don't pony up enough funds.
I think you would have rather enjoyed it
if you had taken the stick out of your ass.
I'm sorry, what did you say?
Let's not forget who the brains
of this operation is, brother.
You might wanna take an extra look
at father and mother's papers.
Although I expect you already know
that my 51 percent gives me a few more options
than you'd care for.
Paul, what has gotten into you?
It might have something to do with the fact
that my devoted fiancee,
the lovely Tessa Anderson is
having an affair with my brother.
What are you going-
- Who is committing fraud to help wrest
control of the company
while putting these poor kids out on the street.
Paul.
What are you doing?
What's wrong with you?
I am glad that there's a witness here
to finally see that my brother has gone insane.
Delusions of ghosts and demons,
speaking to our dead mother.
Really, Aiden?
Wasn't it you who saw the kabuki grim reaper?
Do you not cross the line!
You don't scare me.
You do not cross the line.
Heavens, Martha.
You know, we were about to give up on you.
Susan finished her patients.
Now she's leaving her notes for Dr. Schlesinger
for her maternity leave.
Perhaps she hasn't noticed that the arctic has descended.
Sam drove two hours through the tundra
just to get me here.
If I don't have tooth pain,
I'll be buried in the snow bank on the way home.
Someone is uncharacteristically surly.
Maybe you've encountered people
with severe tooth pain in your line of work before?
Oh, mom.
I just looked outside.
I had no idea it had gotten that bad.
Oh, I'm so glad you're safe.
Oh.
Well, let's get that cracked tooth out right away.
Time to gas up Grandma Grumpy.
I can't feel a thing, Miss Susan.
Oh.
I just want a normal squid.
Is that too much to ask?
The giant ones are just too much,
it's so hard to find a leash big enough for them.
I hear ya.
You gotta stick with the small squids, you know.
Okay.
Ah.
Okay, we're gonna need an elevator.
Where are we going?
An elevator's a dental tool.
I'm gonna start loosening that cracked tooth.
Oh, be careful Susan.
I am venomous.
My spit can kill you.
Okay, I'll be careful.
So Mom.
Ah.
Oh no.
Do you need assist?
No, I think my water just broke.
No, no, no, no, excuse me.
You're not due for another four weeks, so no.
- No, no, no. - I'm pretty sure.
Oh my god.
Bless your heart.
Well, can you finish?
My back has been hurting
and I had to pee like every five minutes, but,
oh!
Oh!
No, no, no, no.
I don't wanna die, I'm calling 911, no.
No, no, no, no, no.
I'm pretty sure that's a contraction.
Oh my god.
I can help you with the rats.
Yes, hello?
I have a woman in labor.
She's 37 weeks.
Now first thing we need is to keep mom calm and hydrated.
Sugar, I need you to keep an eye
on her contractions and dilation.
Now when we get to be about the width
of a cocktail shaker,
that's when we're going to need to get ready to push.
Until then, just breathe slow and steady.
I'm gonna need a cocktail after this.
A few of them in therapy.
Does my medical cover therapy,
does it cover that?
Let me go and check your benefits package right now.
- Oh! - Oh, oh!
Oh!
Oh my god, this hotel!
I have good news.
We have a unit on the way.
Oh, praise Jesus.
Oh.
Is this thing on?
I can't tell.
Can you check this for me?
Do you see hippos?
- No. - Well then it's on.
Oh, thanks.
Halfway done.
All right.
Merry Christmas.
All right.
Ugh.
Brr, okay, all right, all right, here we go.
Brrr.
No I just,
I gotta go check on Susan's vajayjays
to see if it's getting to be cocktail time.
Oh, back here, back here!
How far in are we?
About seven centimeters dilated
and her contractions are seven minutes apart.
Oh thanks, the exterminators are here,
they won't let me bring my cat.
Do you validate?
I brought my camel in but the camel parking here
is just so expensive on this planet.
Is she okay?
Oh, she's as fine as the dew on a butterfly's whiskers,
okay, bless her heart.
Come on, Susan, okay.
Okay.
Bye.
Martha.
Good.
You're doing great.
Okay, okay, all right, it's okay.
Just till the next contraction.
A little bit, okay.
Deep breathing, nice deep breath.
Nice deep breath.
Good job.
Good job, Susan.
Oh, you got here just in time.
What?
Are you making a crack about my age now?
No, no, no, no, no.
You're about two pushes away, good job,
excellent, excellent, excellent.
Susan, good job, good job.
Good job, Susan.
Breathe, breathe, honey, breathe, breathe.
Oh my god baby, I got here as soon as I could,
I'm so sorry.
He's here.
Hey.
Hey baby.
Oh baby,
- help me. - It's okay.
All right, all right.
Here he comes, here he comes.
Beautiful!
Excellent, Susan.
You'd think he was the baby Jesus himself.
You drew a crowd.
Yeah.
Now that crowd up there,
that's this little guy's family.
Oh my.
Oh.
You know it's just like the first Noel.
A gathering from the four corners of the earth
to welcome a great miracle.
He's greeting his family, ooh.
I see that.
Mr. Song.
It's 10 p.m.
Unless you're ready to wire 30,000 dollars
by five p.m. tomorrow,
I think you look like you're a little behind
on your packing.
I think that you'll find everything in order
when the bank opens tomorrow.
But that's impossible.
According to the statement that you issued to the press
not more than an hour ago
you were still, what was it,
about 5,000 dollars behind today
despite all your valiant efforts.
Kings just released their annual grant funding
of 2500 dollars
and I just got an 11th hour benefactor
to fulfill the difference,
and I was able to deposit it before the bank closed.
Mr. Song.
This is not over.
Not by a long shot.
I have lawyers who are willing to work on Christmas.
I have building contractors
who belong to my country club.
I suggest, Aiden, that you start packing.
I have security waiting to escort you
out of your office.
Paul.
Let me guess.
The soft-hearted, soft-headed
11th hour benefactor.
Brother, are you telling me you're willing
to give up millions of dollars
so the poor and the broken
can just muddy up streets that we have ready
to pave with gold?
And don't you forget, I have the board on my side
and they are well aware of all your little eccentricities.
You'll find a flash drive on your desk
that contains security footage
from hidden cameras throughout these buildings.
An identical drive was delivered this evening
to every board member.
There's enough evidence on there
to send you to prison for a long time.
Oh come on, big brother, what,
you're gonna send me to prison now?
Oh, I'm not a monster, Aiden.
You'll also find a contract on your desk
giving 100 percent control of Neville Brothers to me,
with you receiving a very generous allowance
of 10 percent of all profits.
Just for staying away and not interfering
with our operations
or the operations of the Emilia Langford Neville
Memorial Community Center.
Bravo.
Looks like my big brother finally grew a backbone.
Only I'm gonna call his bluff.
Do you really expect me to believe
that you installed security cameras
throughout two of our buildings
without me knowing it?
I didn't do that.
Well then who did?
That was mother.
Huh?
Paul.
Paul, darling.
Listen.
I was only doing this so I could protect you.
I'm really only just trying-
- Save it, darling.
I have a sleigh to catch.
Paul.
Paul, Paul, wait please.
One more.
Perfect.
We were just talking about
how we have too many big ones on this side.
So we either need to like move these ones.
- Did the kids decorate this? - A household.
We have too many big ones
- on this side. - Wait, do you see this?
Thanks for letting me join you.
I was going to Chicago with Robert's family and
I couldn't get a ticket until tomorrow
to my Grandma's.
What's one more?
And another.
Ho, ho, ho.
Oh, come on in, holy.
Sorry.
Ah thanks.
Look who I found wandering outside.
I seem to find myself without a family
to celebrate the holidays with and
I come bearing a catered gourmet holiday feast.
We heard what you did for the center.
You're more than welcome here.
Oh, thank you.
Happy holidays, everyone.
Uh, kitchen?
Yeah.
I'll help you with that, sir.
Thanks.
Oh, come on in, come on in.
Well, if it isn't our mystery bidder.
Happy holidays, Bennett-Songs!
Hey, what's up?
My heart is just so full of blessings
of this family and,
that little one.
How about you, how was your Christmas morning?
Oh, I think our Christmas morning was great.
I mean, gifts were well-received, right?
What is going on?
After all the trauma to my hands
and in my eyes,
I had to go and get a fresh manicure.
Oh my god!
- Congratulations. - Thank you, thank you.
What?
You guys were dating?
Uh, yeah.
How did I not know about this?
You were busy with a few things around here, bro,
it's all good.
Great.
Hi, Merry Christmas.
Can we say that?
Of course.
And happy holidays and happy Hanukkah.
What's up?
Well, I have a holiday surprise.
I like surprises.
Are you free on New Year's?
I should be yeah, but
don't you have to be in New York
doing what you do?
Well, I begged to be the one to tell you
that the label booked us to perform our duet
when I appear on New Year's Ball Spectacular.
Like in New York?
Wait.
What duet?
The one I thought I'd work on tomorrow
and finish writing with you.
By the way, the label loves your songs.
They wanna put the duet on your album.
That's amazing.
Hey, rock star.
Yeah?
I'll see you tomorrow
Happy holidays.
Who wants to chaperone me to New York
for the ball drop?
♪ Joy to the world the Lord has come ♪
♪ Here we go ♪
♪ Let earth receive our king ♪
♪ The king, the king ♪
♪ Let every heart prepare him room ♪
♪ And heaven and nature sing, and sing ♪
♪ And heaven and nature sing, they sing ♪
♪ And heaven and heaven and nature sing ♪
♪ When the music is fading away ♪
♪ And you can't find the right words to say ♪
♪ You don't know where to start ♪
♪ Look for the song inside your heart ♪
♪ And be strong never give up ♪
♪ Hold on, you are the one ♪
♪ To sing now, sing a new song ♪
♪ Sing a new song ♪
♪ And raise your voice and be heard ♪
♪ Make the choice you deserve ♪
♪ And now the deal was here all along ♪
♪ So sing a new song ♪
♪ Sing a new song ♪
♪ Come on, come on, come on ♪
♪ Sing a new song ♪