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How does the Fitbit know you're walking?
Because your arms are moving.
Say they weren't.
It's on your arm. Who walks without moving their arm?
Well, duh. Someone who's had a stroke.
And I know what you're gonna say, so both arms.
- A stroke? Both arms? - Yes.
Put it on your ankle.
You'd think that, but it's not in the instructions, is it?
When are you gonna take the decorations down?
- When are you gonna take 'em down? - It's your job.
I put them up, you take them down.
You put them up, I take them down.
Just add "baby" to that, and it could be the title of a song.
Hmm.
You put them up, I take them down, baby.
- You should write it. - I will.
- Are you gonna get in the shower first? - No.
Gonna have a beer.
Well, that defeats the whole purpose of walking.
- No, it doesn't. - How does it not?
You're out walking to get a bit fitter, lose a bit of weight.
How does the beer add to that?
The walking allows me to have the beer.
Oh, right.
Plus, more to the point, I'm a grown man.
If I want to sit in my own house and have a beer
after putting a lot of effort into a good strenuous walk,
that is what I shall do.
...after a thrillin 3-2 victory for United the last time they played...
Tom, can you come up here?
- Yes, sweetness? - Feel my left breast.
Just the one? This is a new approach.
- Just feel it. - What, here?
Yeah.
Can you feel anything?
A lump?
I feel something.
A lump?
Lump-ish.
It's a lump.
Could be anything.
It can't be anything. It can only be one of a few things.
- This could be nothing. - Well...
- Go to the doctor's in the morning. - Yeah.
It will be fine.
Lumps, bumps, pains, aches.
You're of an age, kid.
I can go now? I've done enough groping?
Unless, of course...
You've done enough.
Magic touch.
What I'm feeling, the shape of it is quite distinct.
That would suggest to me that it's a cyst.
You had a mammogram a while ago, didn't you?
Yes, about eight months ago.
To be on the safe side, we'll arrange an appointment for you at the hospital.
- Okay. - This is just precautionary.
- I think it's a cyst. - All right.
How's Tom?
Oh, the same.
He's Tom all the time.
Do you notice anything different about the soup?
- There is. What is it? - You tell me.
Is this a quiz? If I get it right, do I get another bowl of soup?
For once in your life, can you be bloody normal?
I am normal. Very normal. Let's see if I get this.
I want you to get it right. That means what I did worked.
- I'm gonna get it wrong on purpose now. - Just say it, idiot.
- Worcestershire sauce. - Correct.
- I'm good, baby. - I'm good.
Your man is getting later and later.
What would happen if you were waiting on something?
I was waiting on something.
Oh, right.
Hospital appointment.
When?
Um...
Next week.
Great. The sooner the better.
Yeah. No, no, I know. It's good.
I don't know what the situation is here.
Do I go in with you? Do I wait? What?
- It's a mammogram. - I know.
Well, they won't allow you into that.
I know, but after?
Oh, I don't know. If you have to wait, you can have a cup of tea.
I'm going off tea.
You know what I mean.
It will be all right.
I know.
They charge you for parking.
Even if you're a patient?
I think so.
Everything's money.
I know.
And this is the little biopsy, okay?
And we're going in now.
One, two, three.
Hold on. We're in the area now.
And that... It's coming.
One, two, three.
Ow!
Super. Well done.
I thought you said you were going off tea.
Yeah. Just thinking about it.
No definite decision has been taken as yet.
Maybe we should both stop.
- Cut out caffeine altogether. - Why?
Why you?
Taste of it. Sometimes it makes me feel a bit sick.
I was thinking healthier.
No, that would be just one more thing for you...
For me to what?
For you to hit me with a stick about.
Very good.
I should hit you with something.
There's a lot of waiting in hospitals, huh?
I don't like it.
I don't like all the sick people either.
How can that be a good thing,
putting all the sick people together?
How is that gonna make anybody better?
Depressing.
I don't think I could do it.
If you had to do it, you'd have to do it.
Hospitals remind me of death.
- Lovely. - You know what I mean.
So, if I have to come in, you won't come and visit me?
They're not gonna bring you in just for a cyst.
All I know is it felt serious.
That's because of all the other sick people around you.
You see the nonsense you talk?
How do you get through life?
All right. You're still here with me.
I'm just doing that out of spite.
Right back at you, kid.
I realize it's been a very long day for both of you.
We would have liked to have been able to give you a firm answer,
but we can't tell yet what we're dealing with.
What are all the tests about then?
- Tom. - Yeah, I know.
I realize it's very frustrating.
We found some cells that are concerning.
On a scale of one to five, one being it isn't cancerous and five being it is,
at the moment, we're sitting at three.
Do you wanna go out for something to eat tonight?
Thai or something?
Um...
No, I've already taken the chops out for dinner.
I just thought...
I know. I'm all right.
I know. Baby, it wasn't...
Breaks the day up.
No, I want to cook the chops.
- She doesn't know. - Oh.
You'd think that would be the type of thing they would know.
- Did you tell her your stroke scenario? - Oh, yes.
We need tomato juice.
That's the next aisle.
I know that. I'm just saying we need it.
You drink too much tomato juice.
That stuff made from concentrate is full of sugar.
They used to have the stuff that isn't concentrate,
but they don't have it anymore.
I like tomato juice.
Why don't you just eat more tomatoes?
What's wrong with you? Eat more tomatoes!
I'm just saying.
We should buy a juicer. Then you could make your own tomato juice.
What's the chances of that happening?
It would just sit there beside a bowl of rotten tomatoes
and a carton of tomato juice.
Well, it wouldn't if you'd use it.
Hold on till I get this right here.
We're having some type of an argument
about the frequency of me using a juicer we don't own.
No, I'm just saying, if you had it, then you should use it.
Aye, very good.
What's gonna happen if I've got cancer?
You don't know that you do.
If.
She said on a scale of one to five, it's three.
I don't think she would have said that if it was gonna be five.
Three is closer to five than it is to one.
No, it isn't.
It isn't, but in your head, three is closer to five than it is to one.
I don't know why, but you know what I mean. It is.
It isn't.
Well, what's gonna happen if I've got cancer?
There's no point in thinking like that now.
You don't know. You can't do anything until you know.
I know.
I know I've got it.
So you're a doctor now?
You don't have to be a doctor to know things like that.
Yes, you do.
I know that three is closer to five, and I know I've got breast cancer.
Okay. Well, what are you gonna do then?
I don't know.
Correct. Because you can't do anything because you don't know.
Well, that's not an answer.
Joan...
If you have breast cancer, which I don't think you do...
if you have breast cancer,
we will do whatever has to be done,
the two of us.
That's what's gonna happen.
I have to go to the toilet.
- Don't be long. I might be called. - I'll be as long as it takes.
Mrs. Joan Thompson?
- Joan? - Yes.
Sorry. I'm just waiting on my husband.
- He's at the toilet. - Of course.
There he is.
We've been able to look at your biopsy results,
and I'm afraid it's not the news we were hoping for.
It does show that there is cancer.
We'll talk today about the road ahead.
I think we should start chemotherapy in the next weeks.
This would mean a first surgery
to remove the lump and any lymph glands involved,
followed by chemo.
To reduce the risk of recurrence in your situation,
we'll discuss a further surgery to remove both breasts.
And, of course, your options for reconstruction.
Joan.
Joan!
Come on, kid. No point in lying there. Come on. Let's get you up to bed.
All right. Good man.
All right. One, two, three. Hup!
Oh.
That's it.
I love you.
This is gonna sound strange.
I'm sure it won't.
I'm glad our Debbie isn't here to go through this.
I mean, I miss her every day, but...
this would break her heart.
Look at me.
Tom.
Joan, look at me.
Don't make me cry.
There isn't a moment I won't be there with you.
I know.
I'm gonna torture you.
You know that, don't you?
- You torture me now. - Good.
You know what to expect then.
I'm frightened.
I know, kid. I know.
Every moment.
Go on, eat your toast before it gets cold.
We should've left earlier. It's an operation. You can't be late.
We won't be late.
- It's only a fish. - You still have to feed it.
- Flush it. - Flush you.
Very good.
How long does it take?
How long does what take?
- The operation. - Oh, I don't know.
Hours.
You've got plenty of time to go to the grave.
- I wanna be there when you get out. - Tom, it's her birthday.
We always go to the grave on her birthday. You'll have time.
Tell her I'm sorry I'm not there,
- but don't tell her why. - Joan...
That's the way I have to think about it.
Am I not allowed to do that?
If I was there I'd say it, but I'm not there, so you can say it.
If you were there, you wouldn't have to say you weren't there.
Tom, everything isn't a joke!
- Joan, she's dead. - I know.
How can I not know that?
Just do it, Tom, please. Just do it.
Sorry.
Of course I will.
Sorry.
It's all right. It's fine.
- Right. - Yeah.
It'll be over in no time. I'll be back here waiting for you.
I know.
All right, kid.
- See you soon. - Yeah.
Go on then.
Door closing.
Happy birthday, love.
Your mother says she's sorry she can't be here since...
Look, Debbie, this is...
this is crazy. This...
This isn't how I see you. You're not here.
All I'm doing here is talking to a bit of stone.
Your mother has breast cancer.
She told me not to tell you that.
And I can understand why.
She... she doesn't want you to worry.
But I imagine if you're looking down on us, you heard that conversation, so...
It's just helping her get through it, that's all.
Protecting you makes her stronger.
She found out about a month ago.
She's having an operation today to remove the lumps.
So they'll know more after that, how serious the situation is.
I mean, it's serious now.
I mean, cancer is cancer.
I just...
I just can't tell her how frightened I am.
Just got to continue on as normal.
I suppose that's my job in all this.
That's all you can do.
I couldn't have the both of you gone.
I'd just be...
adrift.
How do you say to someone, "Don't die"?
- Everything okay with you today? - Yes, fine, thank you.
Everything is running to schedule,
so you should all be brought down in order.
You'd think they'd know which one they were going to work on
without having to put a mark on it.
- I'm starving. - So am I.
Me too.
They should be able to give you a tablet that makes you feel not starving.
Or a vodka.
Here we go. More stitches somewhere.
- Good luck. - Good luck.
Shouldn't be long now.
Have you had chemo before?
- Twice. - What's it like?
Second one wasn't so bad.
First one was rough.
It doesn't last, and you get through it.
Sometimes you feel like you won't, but you do.
Take every tablet they give you and more.
And always remember, when you're at your worst,
what you're going through is better than the alternative.
- Good luck. - And you.
You smell lovely.
I try my best.
I was able to remove the whole tumor.
Now, it wasn't two lumps.
They were joined, so we consider that to be one lump.
Right.
Also, because the lymph nodes were involved,
- I had to remove 13 of those. - Oh.
And we'll also have to check it hasn't spread anywhere else.
Where?
We'll do a bone scan.
We also need to check your liver and lungs with a CT scan.
Was the lump the size that normally means it's spread?
There is no normal here.
We got it.
That all looks good.
What'd she say?
Um, they got it all, but it was bigger than they thought.
- Bone scan? - Yes.
Oh.
That's normal.
Excuse me.
Can you kill a goldfish by overfeeding them?
I don't know.
I've only started working here.
I only know about rabbits.
- Are they old? - No.
I don't want the wife to know the one we had died.
Was she fond of it?
No. She hated it.
- You all right to walk? - Fine.
- Bye. I'm on my way now. - See you.
Thank you.
And what?
You got everything means you got everything.
No, they did a bone scan to see if the cancer had spread to my bones.
And that was clear.
Correct. But now you have to get an upper-body scan.
- Yes. - Why?
Because she wants to check my liver and my lungs.
Why didn't she check your lungs when she was removing the lump?
I don't know. She can't just put her hand in,
move things out of the way and take a peek.
How do you know they don't do that? Are you a doctor now?
Stop talking stupid.
Get cancer and end up knowing everything about medicine.
All I know is there's something they're not telling us.
There's nothing they're not telling us. Why are you doing this?
Up to the damn hospital again and again and again.
Well, you don't have to come with me all the time.
- What would you do on your own? - I'd do what I always do.
I sit and wait and then I get poked and prodded at.
And what if something happens and I'm not there? No.
Just drive the car.
Aye, just drive the car. That's me.
Just drive the car.
One.
Two.
Three.
Four.
Five.
Six.
Seven.
Eight.
Nine.
Ten.
Eleven.
Twelve.
Thirteen.
Fourteen.
Fifteen.
Sixteen.
Seventeen.
Eighteen.
Nineteen.
Twenty.
Twenty-one.
Twenty-two.
Twenty-three.
Twenty-four.
She's been away too long. That's not good.
Not good what way?
Because if it was good news, she'd be right back.
So you think it's bad news and she doesn't wanna tell you and she's waiting out there?
That's what I think.
Oh, I think it's good news, so she's in no rush.
No, if it was good news, you'd be in a rush.
That's the whole point. You'd want to be telling the person.
It'd be cruel if you had good news to wait to tell someone.
It'd be kind if you had bad news to wait to tell them.
She's been away too long. It's bad news.
Sorry. That took longer than I thought.
I was called away to another patient.
Well, good news. The scan is all clear.
So what does that mean?
It means we've removed the lump and the lymph nodes,
and the cancer hasn't spread anywhere else.
So, it's gone?
As far as we're concerned, yes.
And the next thing is to refer you to an oncologist
to discuss chemotherapy and other therapies.
Why chemo? You just said it was gone.
There still might be tiny cancerous cells
that we can't detect through scanning.
So... when you said the cancer is gone, that may not be true?
- Tom, don't... - I just want to get everything clear.
And so you should.
The cancer that was there has been removed
and it hasn't spread any further.
And Joan is now ready for chemotherapy.
Thank you, Doctor. That's very clear. Thank you.
From now on, when we're at the hospital, I don't want you talking.
If I didn't talk, we wouldn't know anything.
We already knew. We'd already been told.
It's just you being you.
Cancer-free, she said.
Yes. I knew what she meant.
In situations like this, you have to be exact.
Oh, I'm sorry, Tom. Are we in a hospital or are we in a courtroom?
It's not black and white. The world's gray.
It's nothing to do with black and white.
Cancer-free is different from not cancer-free.
Hmm. Are you cancer free?
Very good.
"As far as we know."
I knew what she meant.
So from now on, no more talk from you.
It's to do with me anyway. I'll ask.
It's to do with you. You'll ask.
Yes. That was embarrassing.
- Embarrassing? - Yes.
- You wanna sit here? - Yeah.
You see that man in the blue shirt over there?
Yeah.
I think he was our Debbie's teacher at primary school.
Oh, right enough.
- Yes, arrogant. - Yeah.
- I'm gonna talk to him. - What for?
What for? There's something the matter with you.
Just to talk to him. Tell him who I am, that I recognized him.
He looks alone.
Sorry.
I just saw you sitting here. I think I know you.
Did you used to teach my daughter, Debbie Thompson, in primary school?
I did.
I was very sad to hear what happened to Debbie.
Oh.
It's Joan.
Peter.
Debbie was a delightful child.
Pleasure to teach.
- Hmm. Do you still teach? - Not at the moment.
Oh, please, sit down.
Are you on your own?
Oh, my partner, Steve, is downstairs in the café.
He gets very emotional.
- It's difficult for him. - Hmm. I see that in my husband.
Right. So you have the buzzer?
- Yes. Yeah. - Right.
Is this your first time here?
No, second.
How's your treatment going?
I'm... I'm terminal.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Yeah. They say if I take the chemo,
we'll have a while longer.
What... What are you here for?
Breast cancer.
Has the chemo been difficult?
Difficult enough. The nausea.
That might not be difficult for you. Each treatment's different.
They say that, anyway.
I don't wanna lose my hair. No hair at my age, I think I'd look like a man.
For me they said maybe, maybe not.
I do not want to be buried bald.
Actually, that's not true.
Being buried bald isn't the issue.
Lying in me coffin with the lid off it, bald, for all to see.
Not that there will be anybody there, but that's not the point. Just in case.
I think you'd look dignified.
Dignified? No, horrified.
Well, you might not lose it.
Whenever they say "you might," it means you will.
We should get that printed on T-shirts. Wear them to the chemo sessions.
Well... there we go.
- Okay. - Well...
It's lovely to meet you, Peter.
I'm glad I came over to talk.
Yeah. Lovely to meet you, Joan.
I take it that's him then?
Yeah. His name's Peter.
- Did he remember our Debbie? - Of course he did.
Talked of her really fondly.
- Is he still arrogant? - Huh. No.
He's got terminal cancer.
Oh.
- That's not good. - No.
His partner, Steve, I think he said he was called,
he sits downstairs. He can't come up here.
Yeah.
I can imagine that would be difficult for some people, all right.
I hope I bump into him again.
I'm sure you will.
He doesn't look gay.
No.
- But then you don't look... - Easy, tiger.
I was gonna say kind.
- There's not many of us left. - Hmm.
I couldn't say stupid because you do look stupid.
Living with you too long has me looking like that.
Oh!
- Here we go. - Here we go.
It's all right, it's all right.
Oh, God.
Is your head sore? Shall I get a cold cloth?
No, I'm freezing.
Blanket? Want a blanket?
No, it'll be all right. It'll go in a minute.
Shall I take this... this basin away and clean it out or is there more?
There will be more, but you can clean it out anyway.
Shall I go and just get another basin?
No, just... just clean that one out.
Right, right, right.
Sarah has started a project at nearby Fillingham Court.
She's teaching the residents about gardening
to inspire them to make the most of their communal areas
and brighten up their balconies.
What rubbish bin goes out tonight? Brown or gray?
I'm not sure.
What went out last week?
If I knew what went out last week, I'd know what one goes out tonight.
Think it's gray.
Just look what the neighbors put out.
I know it's summer, but what's the point
of having a bin for garden waste during the winter
when there isn't any garden waste?
Don't know.
Well, you should know.
That could be vital information at some point.
- Vital? Really? - Yes, Joan. Vital.
- Why don't you go for a walk? - No.
No, I'm staying. Watch TV.
I haven't numbed my brain enough today.
Hmm.
- All right? - It's coming out in clumps now.
What do you want to do?
- I don't know. - Look, there's no...
- No, I know. - I'll do it. Do you want me to do it?
What? Where's the scissors?
- In the drawer. - Right.
Do you wanna stand or sit?
When have you ever seen anyone getting their hair cut standing up?
Okay?
Yeah.
Stop.
So, what do you and your hairdresser talk about?
You and what an idiot you are.
An idiot who has a pair of scissors in his hand.
Any particular style today, madam?
Beehive.
Showing your age there, kid.
A beehive it is.
Ta-da!
What do you think?
You look beautiful.
But then I never really liked your hair to begin with.
It feels weird.
You're a star, kid.
Absolute star.
- Did you write it down? - No.
What do you mean, no?
I gave you a notebook and a pen especially for that.
I didn't write it down.
So, you don't know what tablet to take?
No. Just guess.
You can't guess, Joan. They're too strong.
Tom, please. The pain in my legs and feet is...
I'm in agony. Just give me a tablet. It's one of three.
Just pick one. I don't care which.
- You were told to write this down. - Oh, what?
Because I didn't, you're gonna punish me?
Whose pain is this? Who's going through this? Me or you?
You sit downstairs drinking beer while I'm up here in pain.
Excuse me. Everything you need, I get.
- Well, get me a tablet. - I don't know which one.
Don't give me that "poor me" garbage. Did I give you the cancer?
This isn't about cancer. This is about you.
You never do anything for me until you've sorted yourself out.
- That right? - Yes.
I didn't want to fill out your silly little notepad
because I didn't feel like it, all right?
No! Because you like all this.
You'd rather be worse than better.
It's in your nature.
It's all, "Look at me. This was always gonna happen to me!
My daughter was killed! Look at me!"
I hate you, you know that?
Oh, I know it, all right. It's there underneath all the time.
Here, there's the box. You wanna take a tablet? Take one.
Just leave me alone.
On top of everything I have to deal with you.
We're both going through this.
No, we're not! Tom, we're not! I'm going through it!
You've just gotta cope with things, cope with stuff.
I had the cancer. I'm going through chemo.
I need to have a double-mastectomy.
I'm doing my best here!
No, you're not!
Hi.
Is this your first session?
Yes.
Don't be worried about all the goings-on here. You get used to it.
You think you won't, but you do.
I always think it's like a busy train station or something.
Yeah.
How many sessions have you to do?
- Six. - Oh.
- Breast cancer. - Same here.
I hear it's hard.
Well, it can be, but you get through it.
Take all the painkillers you can get your hands on.
Once the pain kicks in, it's hard to get rid of.
Now, are we ready?
Yeah, I like it. It suits you.
No, it doesn't.
I went to the hairdresser's and she cut it. I think it looks worse.
It's not even the right color.
- What does Tom think of it? - Oh, I don't know.
I mean, he wouldn't say that he didn't like it,
but you know...
He's at the end of his tether.
I can see it in him.
Oh, but to hell with him, so am I.
Too right.
- We fought the other night. - Hmm?
Oh, well, you need a blowout, don't you?
Steve won't do it, not that he's that type,
but even so, God, he won't offend me now.
Poor man.
He looks frightened, you know.
More frightened of me dying than I am.
He won't even talk to me about stopping chemo.
Are you going to?
Well, I'm thinking about it.
I can handle it, but what's the point of even doing that,
if I'm gonna die the same way no matter what?
Steve thinks I'd be depriving him of time spent together.
What would you do?
Don't know.
You must've thought about it
when you heard about the cancer.
Yeah, I...
Yeah, I thought that...
if it came to that...
no matter how long you'd been together,
no matter how much you love each other...
it would have to be my decision and my decision alone.
I cried when I thought that.
You know, that we're all just really...
just on our own.
Too hot.
Jesus Christ. Tea cozy?
No!
Oh...
You'd think I'd give these up, wouldn't you?
But then what would be the point?
Have you somebody in here?
My wife. She's got breast cancer.
She's getting chemo, you know.
They're good in here.
They can't do anything for me,
but that doesn't mean to say they're not good.
Your wife will be well looked after.
Yes.
My wife's dead.
It's just as well.
I can't do this, Tom.
I can't take any more.
It's all right, kid. It's all right.
I can't do it, Tom.
Look at me.
I don't want to look at you.
You're nearly there, pet.
I don't want to be nearly there, Tom.
I don't wanna be nearly there.
I want it to be over. I've had enough.
You know... you know the way...
I always said I'd do the marathon...
and never did it?
Useless.
I'm useless.
I stand near the finish line...
watching the people cross that line...
one by one.
Makes me wanna cry.
But it's...
it's normal people that are doing it.
I never did it.
You are doing it.
You're coming up to the finish line, Joan.
You're nearly there, kid.
You're gonna do it.
I've been thinking we should do something to the house.
Like what?
I don't know.
Bedroom, kitchen. I don't know, just a change.
They don't need change, Joan.
Tom, we haven't decorated since...
And what? There's only you and me in it.
It doesn't mean it shouldn't look well.
It looks well enough.
We're doing the bedroom.
Right. Not the kitchen?
You think we should do the kitchen?
I don't think we should do either.
Right, we're doing the bedroom. Something bright.
Aye.
What are we doing after this? Do you wanna go for a drink somewhere?
No, we'll just go up to the bedroom.
I'll nip over, get some wine across the road.
It'll be cheaper.
Now that we're saving for an orange bedroom.
We don't have to have any drink at all.
Aye, very good.
Don't be getting a lot of drink.
I wasn't gonna get a lot.
Don't start.
I know, but, I mean, we're here doing this.
- We're having a good time. - Yes.
Are you going to miss these?
What? Really?
- Now? - Yes, now.
No.
No?
- What, is this a trick question? - No.
Are you gonna miss them?
No.
You'll still have something left.
I know.
But, I mean, are you gonna miss them?
Yes.
Good man.
- You okay? - Yeah.
- What's the pain like today? - Same.
- You getting more painkillers? - Yeah.
Did you sleep?
Off and on.
It's difficult to sleep here, noise of the place.
- How long did they say you'd be in for? - At least a week.
Got to make sure that the wound's clean and under my arms are all drained.
Do you need me to bring anything up?
Yeah.
Can you go into the top drawer and get my blue nightdress?
Make sure it's the blue one.
The other one's a bit grubby. And some knickers.
Any type?
Crotchless?
Don't make me laugh. It hurts.
Not the crotchless then?
Oh, Tom!
Sturdy gusset?
Sturdy gusset.
Couple of facecloths as well.
Anything else?
Any other things that aren't sexually romantic?
No, just the sexually romantic stuff.
Hi.
Tom, this is Peter.
- Yes, of course. - I told you.
- Hi. Good to meet you. - You too.
I'm gonna go down to the café. Let you two have a chat.
Well, how about you, missus?
They've removed both of my breasts and they've reconstructed them.
They pulled up some muscle from my stomach to do it.
I've got this great big scar across here. It's like a zip.
Well, at least it's over.
You know, at the start of all this, I had this feeling
that if I can get through it all, that the experience of that,
you know, just going through it,
it would somehow change me.
I don't think it has.
I don't think I want it to.
You're Tom. Joan's husband?
Peter is with Joan up in the ward.
Oh, right, yeah.
I heard she was in for an operation. I hope it all went well.
In doctor speak, as well as can be expected.
I know. It's just never a straight answer.
- It's good that she got through it. - Yeah.
Peter's in because his blood count is down.
Aye, just keeping an eye on him.
He's dying.
You know that?
Yes.
I've stopped the chemo.
I knew I was going to do it. I just took me time working round to it.
I told Steve. I didn't talk to him about it. I told him.
That didn't go down well.
He'll come round.
Well, he'll have to. It's all about time now.
He used to teach my daughter.
Aye. He said.
I'm sorry to hear what happened.
Yeah.
That can't be easy.
No.
Have you planned out what you're gonna do?
Do nothing.
You know, spend time together. I don't want to do things.
I've spent me whole life doing things.
Now I want to do absolutely nothing.
Yeah, when we lost Debbie, I think Tom felt like that.
Just gave up work and...
stopped, really. Well...
I suppose I did too.
I understand that.
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
I don't think anyone knows that.
You try not to think about it, but it's there all the time.
Maybe...
you don't do anything.
Look... I don't know if this is any good, but I'll say it anyway.
My daughter, Debbie, was taken away from us suddenly.
I can't explain it.
It's beyond me.
But if I'd have known she was going to die...
all I would've done was to spend time with her.
I don't want him to die.
I know.
Oh, thank you.
Here, fix this tie, will you?
A grown man can't fix his own tie.
What's that about?
You look well, kid.
- Thank you. - Are you not meant to say that back?
You look well.
Too late.
We'll just stay for the funeral, okay?
I'm tired.
Joan, if you don't want to go...
Oh, no, I do want to go.
But I don't want to get involved in anything afterwards.
- Are you in pain? - Yeah, a bit.
- Take another tablet. - Oh, I will later.
I'm trying to hold off. I'm taking too many as it is.
- Do you want a cup of tea? - Yes, please.
The last few weeks of Peter and I's time together was...
was beautiful.
I've never watched so much rubbish TV in my life.
It's brilliant, rubbish TV.
All we did was sit together.
That's all we needed to do.
I've never loved any person as much as I loved that man.
He made me face the world and...
I will miss him more than he will ever know.
Peter, I love you.
I don't know what I'm gonna do without you, but...
I do know that you're still forever the best part of me.
Hey, that's too many. Can you not just get a few?
- No. You need more than a few. - There's only the two of us.
You can't just cook a few Brussels sprouts.
Why not?
- Oh, I don't know. You just can't. - Why do we even have to get any?
- I don't even eat them. - I do.
Once a year. You eat them once a year.
Well, that's why it's important to get them.
Anyway, what do you care?
They stink the place up.
- You stink the place up. - Very good.
I'm gonna head around here and get some beer.
- Have we enough wine? - Yes, plenty of wine.
Running out over Christmas would be a nightmare.
- Don't get too much beer. - I'll get what I need.
I'm just saying don't get too much.
Ditto regarding the sprouts.
Oh, get some smoked salmon, will you?
Oh, aye? Just a wee bit for you?
Aye.
Put a wee bit of tinsel round the goldfish tank too, will you?
I will if I've got enough left.
- The fish needs to know it's Christmas. - Oh, aye.
- You want some more wine? - No, I'm all right.
Got enough there, thanks.
- Know what I was thinking? - No, Tom. What were you thinking?
We should invite your man Steve over for Christmas.
Yeah, that's a good idea.
I do have them sometimes.
Not Christmas dinner though.
I hadn't thought when, but why not Christmas dinner?
Well, I'm sure he's got other places to be anyway.
He might be on his own.
He mightn't want to come out on Christmas Day.
Maybe, but how do you know that unless you ask him?
You ask him, then he says, "I can, I can't. I want to, I don't want to."
Yeah, but he might feel under pressure if we ask him.
Why don't you leave the decision up to him
instead of you making it for him?
Even though we haven't even asked him the question yet.
All right, but just not Christmas Day.
A drink then. Invite him round for a drink.
Yeah, that would be lovely.
- Okay. You have his number? - Yeah.
- Will you phone him or will I? - You can phone him.
Right.
I know what we've just said,
and I'm not saying this will happen, but...
Tom...
if you want to ask him for Christmas, ask him for Christmas.
Okay. Hey...
do we have enough Brussels sprouts?
More than enough.