(DYNAMIC MUSIC)
(ETHEREAL MUSIC)
Subtitles by explosiveskull
(WIND WHISTLES)
(SUSPENSEFUL STRING MUSIC)
(BIRD CALL ECHOES)
(MYSTERIOUS MUSIC)
(BIRD CALL ECHOES)
(GASPS)
(VAMPIRES LAUGH)
Rudolph? Your party clothes.
I haven't worn them in a hundred years.
Mother insists you try them on. They could need altering.
What, does she think I've gained weight? On our diet?
Just try them on.
I hate my birthday and I'm not gonna wear them.
- (GASPS) - (DRAMATIC MUSIC)
Hold still, please.
- Welcome. - Aunty. You look...
Fat. Don't deny it. And where's the birthday boy?
Rudy? Rudy?
I think he's trying on his birthday clothes.
Oh, he'll look so handsome. Mm!
Et voila. Excellent.
Thank you, sir.
Rudy!
Rudy?
- Aunty! - (HISSES)
Oh! You scared me to death.
- But aren't you already...? - Rudolph, apologise!
What did I do wrong? Wasn't she calling me?
Rudolph, come with me.
- Did you go outside? - Yes, sir, but I didn't go far.
- You know that's not the point. - Yes, sir.
This childishness has got to stop.
Your birthday is only two nights away.
And I'll be 13 again for the 300th time.
- It's boring. - Rudolph!
- (GIGGLES) - Come on! Let's have some fun!
I have to help Mother. I promised.
I'm worried about Aunt and Uncle.
Shall I fly out and look for them?
Your father doesn't want you leaving the catacombs.
He doesn't want us doing anything.
- What? - Hm!
Flying all the way from Germany at their age.
Poor Aunt Wulftrud and Uncle Gernot.
WOMAN: Gernot! You must know where you put it.
GERNOT: Why me?
Because you had the key the last time.
- What last time? - Do you not remember anything?
- Anything about what? - The key!
We can't get out of here without it.
- (DOOR RATTLES) - (CROWS CAW)
BOY: "The darkness crawled over the forest.
"Not another soul to be seen.
"A growing feeling of fear gnawing at their souls,
"a terrible intuition that vampires..."
- (SIGHS) Tony. - I'm just reading!
Tony, I couldn't ask for a better son.
I couldn't ask for a better dad.
But right now, you so need to zip it.
So no more V-word in this car.
You don't want your mother's head to explode, do you?
I don't think so.
COMPUTERISED VOICE: In five kilometres, turn right.
(GROANS) What am I looking for again?
WULFTRUD: The key, you nincompoop.
Then this will never do.
- The key has disappeared. - (GASPS)
We have to go through the sewers.
- There is no other way out. - It's disgusting.
Don't worry. The rats won't mind.
- Eugh! - (CHUCKLES)
- Eugh! - Hi!
(GASPS)
- (WHISPERS) Vampires. - Hello!
- Mom! Dad! Vampires! - Aah!
- (TYRES SCREECH) - That's it, Tony. I've had it.
Look up there! See for yourself!
Tony, you know this vampire stuff is make-believe, right?
Myths and stories. That's all.
- Sure, if you say so. - We both say so.
- Dad! - (TYRES SCREECH)
- (ALL YELL) - Where's the brakes?!
(ALL YELL)
(TYRES SCREECH)
COMPUTERISED VOICE: Please follow the route
straight ahead.
(OWL HOOTS)
Wow!
(CROW CAWS)
- (TYRE POPS) - (GASPS)
DAD: Oh, great.
GERNOT: These vacationers should stick to the road.
And what do they want at our graveyard?
If they came to see us, they're out of luck.
We're off to Transylvania.
Maney! (BANGS ON DOOR)
Maney! Maney, wake up! Get out of bed!
I need my truck!
- (GRUNTS) - I need my truck.
In the middle of the night?!
Night-time is my time.
(LAUGHS)
- Quick! Come on. - I worked 48 hours straight.
- I need to sleep sometime. - I don't pay you to sleep.
- Speaking of payment... - Boy! (CHUCKLES)
Maney, I've been thinking of taking you with me.
Huh? Me? Hunting with you?
It's what I've dreamed about. What I've been waiting...
Yes. Good. Fascinating. You'll tell me later.
First, show me my new light and then we must hit the road.
They're swarming.
I haven't seen anything like it in decades.
Come. The lights.
- (LIGHT ZAPS) - Oh! Excellent!
I can't say for sure what effect it'll have.
We're about to find out.
- He is still 13. - He is old enough!
I've been 13 forever!
Neither of you are going outside. Not without me.
Not when the whole clan is here.
That is exactly the point. We are all here.
Father wants to us to be cowards. He wants us to hide.
I don't want you to end up with stakes through your hearts.
My darlings, the same argument again?
I'm sorry, Mother.
Where do you think you're going? I will exile you!
You can have your temper tantrums in Siberia!
- I'll do it. - Dear...
Don't tell me it's just a phase, puberty or something.
- I want to come with you. - You do?
- Yes! To play! - Urgh!
I've had it with all of you!
I'm going out, but I'm not playing.
Do you ever want to be a real vampire?
- Mm-hmm. - Then it's time to grow up.
Hmm... Hmm...
(MENACING MUSIC)
- (DEVICE BLEEPS) - What kind of radar is this?
I call it 'Infra-Dead'.
(CHUCKLES) Oh, I like the sound of it.
You don't know how great that makes me feel.
Yes, yes, feelings. Wonderful. Show me how it works.
- (RADAR PINGS AND WARBLES) - Uh-huh.
- What's that? - It means the Undead are nearby.
The Undead! I knew it!
(LAUGHS)
(DOG BARKS)
- (ENGINE RUMBLES) - Hmm? Oh.
- (GASPS) - (SUSPENSEFUL STRING MUSIC)
Quick. Shh. Wait. Wait, wait, wait!
- (GROWLS) - Gregory, no!
- The light! - (LIGHT ZAPS)
- (GROANS AND SCREAMS) - It works! It works!
- Come on, Chi-Chi! Move it! - It works!
- What are you doing? - It really burns.
What did you expect? It's your invention.
No! (PANTS)
- What are you doing here? - I followed you.
I thought you were heading for trouble and I was right.
You little idiot.
(TYRES SCREECH)
Oh, they'll be flying back to their lair
and they'll have company.
Dad's always supporting you.
You talked him into this creepy castle tour.
- HE said yes, not me. - I know.
But it's supposed to be for fun.
You're taking this vampire stuff too seriously.
Maybe I would have said you're right until 10 minutes ago.
- But now that I've seen... - No buts.
You're really starting to worry us.
- Mom, look! - (OWL HOOTS)
- (GASPS) - (BIRD CALL ECHOES)
We heard over here some noise.
We thought it were again the vam... (STAMMERS)
- (WHISPERS) Vampires? - (GASPS)
Anyway, we come to welcome you.
You must be the family Thompson out of the USA.
You missed the driveway.
- I got distracted. - (CLEARS THROAT)
Three nights in a real bed! I can't wait!
- You'll sleep like the dead. - (CHUCKLES) You!
- (LAUGHS) - (CLEARS THROAT)
Great that you had rooms available for us.
- You must be very busy. - No! Not busy.
The guests, they come and they go.
The bed and the breakfast is just around the corner.
(ENCHANTING MUSIC)
Your new home away from the home.
The castle.
Dad, look at this. More garlic.
- They must cook with it. - Ja, ja.
Do you hang your dinner around your neck?
- Hm... - Now up the stairs we go.
To the sleepy-time room of the young man.
- You do sleep, ja? - For sure. Every night.
See?
(DOOR HINGES SQUEAK)
After you. I follow.
- Do you see their reflection? - You are in the way.
- Me? You! - Go away!
- TONY: What are you looking at? - (BOTH GASP)
- Nothing. - Hm....
(SPITS)
A little dab. I use the spit. All gone.
With a clean mirror, you can better see the reflections.
Do you get a lot of guests without reflections?
BOTH: Nein! Huh?
What happened? Let me look at you.
- Mother, please... - Who did this?
- I don't know. - He went outside.
He disobeyed me. Was it Rookery? Did he follow you?
You must lie down. Rest.
It was Rookery, but not alone.
We are in great danger.
We need to know if Rookery followed us.
You have to find out. (SIGHS)
This is gonna be some birthday.
Vampire-proof steel netting.
- Huh? - You're not the only inventor.
Huh? But they can just unscrew the nuts.
Have you looked at these nuts? This is not your everyday nut.
This is my special nut
and there is only one spanner that fits them -
my special spanner.
- Wrench? - The net is escape-proof.
MANEY: No, it's not. I can prove it. I can show...
My net, my nuts. Escape-proof.
- (GRUNTS) - (AIR HISSES)
- (NAIL GUN RATTLES) - Hmm? (GROANS)
(GRUMBLES)
Who dares?
Rookery is outside. He's sealing us in.
- Did you send him outside? - It doesn't matter!
- We have to escape. - I say we use the labyrinth.
- It is forbidden ground. - Oh, that's just an old legend.
Rookery's this way, the labyrinth's that way.
Which could be worse?
Gregory, there is no time for this!
I'll lead us out of here my way.
- Come, Gregory. - I can't. I'm too weak.
- I can't fly. - I won't leave you behind.
- I'll hide. I'll be safe. - I'll stay with Gregory.
No. You're braver than I thought.
The clan needs you. Go with them.
Leave everything behind! We have to escape!
Come, everybody.
The next time you do something so stupid and reckless,
you're taking me.
- Huh? - Follow me!
We have to leave now!
(WRENCH WHIRRS)
- (ALL SHOUT OVER EACH OTHER) - ROOKERY: Argh!
Pull the net shut!
(VAMPIRES SCREAM)
- They've captured the others. - The beasts!
We must go back and save the clan.
- Going back now is suicide. - But they're trapped!
We won't leave them there for long. I promise.
(NAILS POUND)
They're greeting us with a 21-gun salute.
- Wait! - What kind of party is this?
- The wrong kind. - Vampire hunters.
- Come along, please. - But we just arrived.
We need to hide. Can we go to your place?
- Back to Germany? - We don't have a choice.
(ENGINE RUMBLES)
Find them. Bring them down.
Beware of the light! The beams are deadly.
- We need to escape. - (TYRES SCREECH)
Block their way. Burn them!
- Grr! Like this! - Aah!
- (LIGHT ZAPS) - (SCREAMS)
- Are you alright? - Argh! Where's this?
They're trying to escape us!
- (GROWLS) - (GASPS)
- (YELLS) - (TYRES SCREECH)
- (TRUCK CRASHES) - (ROOKERY YELLS AND GROANS)
- Whoa! - (SIGHS)
That plane of yours, does it still fly?
It's a dinosaur, but I've got the pilot who can fly it.
(SPEAKS RUSSIAN)
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
- (ENGINES WHINE) - (TYRES SCREECH)
I added a super turbo and a booster package.
You can always count on me to...
Shut up! We've got vampires to hunt.
(ENGINE REVS)
That plane's following us. Anna, help me with Father.
Get the little bloodsucker.
- It's Rookery! - What should we do?
Make a sharp left now.
- Left. - Oh!
Oh! So, they're playing games with us?
Get the UV lights from the truck.
I'll add some new rules.
- Sharp right! - (VAMPIRES GASP)
- Right. - Whoa!
Oh! (GRUNTS)
Where is that imbecile with my lamp?
(GRUNTS AND GROANS)
We'll shred them with the propellers.
(SPEAKS RUSSIAN)
Brrr! Chop-chop-chop!
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
Aah! Aah!
Whoa! Aah! Aah! Ugh.
I'll distract them. You escape.
- No. - It's too dangerous.
I'm a vampire, not a chicken. Go!
- (SHRIEKS) - Aah!
- (HISSES) - (ROOKERY SHOUTS INAUDIBLY)
- (GRUNTS) - After him!
- (GASPS AND GRUNTS) - Get him!
- Don't let him escape! - Aah!
(WARNING SIGNAL BLEEPS)
(GRUNTS)
Urggh. Uh?
- Gernot, the key. - I keep telling you, it's lost.
- I can't imagine where... - (GASPS)
- Ahem. - (GIGGLES)
Ah! I knew it was on my mind.
Come in, please. You too, my darling.
I will release your parachute with the remote control.
You don't have to do a thing.
Just imagine you're this duffle bag.
- It's like this. - (DEVICE BLEEPS)
Uh-huh. (CHUCKLES)
Are you sure you checked out this chute?
Triple-checked it, but I'll check again.
Your safety means everything.
Oh. Uh...
- Ow! Aah! - Whoa!
- (SHRIEKS) - Oh, no!
- I'll save you! - (YELLS)
I've got you now, safe in my arms.
- Ooh, it feels wonderful. - Where is the remote?
Oh, I knew I forgot something. I'll pull the ripcord.
- Then do it! - (STRAINS)
- Oh, well, I can't quite reach. - (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
- We're running out of time. - Almost.
(LAUGHS INCREDULOUSLY) Almost isn't good enough!
- Move your elbow. - Pull the ripcord!
- ROOKERY: Ah! (SIGHS) - MANEY: Whoopsie! (CHUCKLES)
- Ooh! - (BOTH GRUNT)
- Were you trying to kill me? - No! I saved your life.
- I feel so... - Enough with your feelings!
- We've got company. - Hmm?
- You dirty little bloodsucker! - Aah! Aah!
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
- (GROANS) - (LAUGHS AND PANTS)
- (GROWLS) - (WHIMPERS)
Whoa! You vicious little vampire brat!
Ahh! (SIGHS)
(GROANS)
(GRUNTS)
(YAWNS)
(SHRIEKS)
(SHOUTS)
(GROANS) No way!
- Oh, no! The sun! - (ROOSTER CROWS)
(GRUNTS)
Oh!
(GROANS)
(WINDOW CLATTERS)
Argh!
(GRUNTS)
(PANTS)
Oh, how come I got the only room without garlic?
Oh!
Oh! (EXHALES)
- (ROOSTER CROWS) - (GASPS) Ohh.
Ohhh.
(GASPS)
Huh?
Hi!
(SNARLS)
(GASPS) Argh!
- (SNARLS) - (SCREAMS)
(PANTS)
Ugh! Stupid antiques!
Anything else to attack me with?
Now's your chance.
I don't wanna attack you.
Liar! Your kind have hunted us for centuries.
My kind?! I'm just a 13-year-old kid from San Diego.
Don't try to run!
If I let you escape, you'll put a pack of mortals on my trail.
Why would I do that?! You haven't done anything to me.
- So far! - I even like vampires.
Of course you do! I know what you're up to.
I've been warned!
I'm... not... scared of you! I'm not!
(LAUGHS) Yeah, you're not scared.
You're not scared?!
Who am I kidding? I'm terrified.
I had a scary night too.
Forget I said that.
- Too late. - I do not feel fear.
Oh, come on. You don't look like you came here for a vacation.
- (BANGING AT DOOR) - Argh!
Nothing.
I will... knock once more.
Oh! Hello? Mr Tony Thompson?
- Are you good? - (GASPS) Ah! Huh!
Of course I'm good.
We always look after the guests.
To make sure they are sleeping.
At night, this is much better than sleeping.
During their day.
I was sleeping, but you woke me up.
So that kinda defeats the purpose of you being here.
- Right? - Huh?
Alright. Gute Nacht.
- Back at ya! - Here.
- To wear in the sleep. - Garlic?
Are you afraid of vampires or something?
- Nein! - (DOOR SHUTS)
(GROANS)
Ah, you didn't betray me to those mortals.
- Why would I do that? - Were they your parents?
Do I look like those were my parents?
You are the strangest mortal.
- What's your name? - Tony Thompson.
Hmm.
Rudolph Sackville-Bagg and I'm 13 too.
It's true!
Vampires don't cast reflections.
Makes it hard to comb your hair.
You are so cool.
(CHUCKLES) Uh, what does my temperature have to do with it?
Not 'cool'. Like... like awesome. Like sick!
- I feel fine. - (LAUGHS)
You've got a lot to learn, vampire.
A surprise attack!
- I'll make you proud. - Proud?
Yes, my heart is swelling.
Just bring me that vampire brat.
We have some unfinished business with him.
(GROANS)
Four, three, two, one!
- (WHOOSHING) - Take-off!
Argh!
(GASPS)
Hmm? Ooh!
You are wasting my precious time!
- I said... - Ohhh!
Argh! Oh!
What is way to Transylvania?
Huh? There.
Goodnight.
BOTH: Hmm?
- Oh! - It's wonderful
to have family here.
Even under such dreadful circumstances.
The caskets have felt so empty.
Sometimes you can hear them sigh with loneliness.
- There. Hear? - (WIND WHISTLING)
I don't hear anything.
It's the whistling in his ears.
Old age, dear Anna.
- What?! - I can hear it too.
How touching.
Rest well. (BLOWS)
(COFFIN COVERS CREAK SHUT)
(YAWNS)
- I need... - A coffin! I know!
You do really seem to know quite a bit about vampires.
I've done my research.
Not many hotel rooms come with coffins.
They do in the places I stay.
Hmm... how about that?
Give me a hand.
- (BOTH GROAN) - Hmm.
You're letting me stay in your room.
I can still hardly believe this!
I can hardly believe it either.
But there is one big no-no.
What? No pillow fighting?
- Grrsh! - No, don't worry.
I haven't had a drop of the red stuff in a long time.
But vampires and blood go together like...
..well, vampires and blood.
Yes, but we keep a low profile because of my father.
- He doesn't like blood? - No.
He wants us to stay away from mortals as much as possible.
So... you're not gonna bite me?
Hmm. Time will tell.
Hmm.
(YAWNS) Good day, mortal.
Sleep well... vampire.
(BIRD CAWS)
Hey, time to get up!
(GROANS)
Hmm. Ahhh.
What are you looking at?
You're growing up, kiddo.
Yeah, well, it happens to the best of us.
It's a beautiful day.
Makes this old castle seem a lot less creepy.
- Good dreams? - Better than good.
- And no vampires? - That was so yesterday.
Well, OK.
Why would they leave that lying there?
It's fine. I'm pretending it's my...
Uh... well, I haven't figured that out,
but when I do, it's gonna be so cool!
You don't talk about playing and pretending much anymore.
It's nice.
But it's time for you to come down for breakfast.
- Get ready, OK? - (CHUCKLES)
- Are you awake? - RUDOLPH: What do you think?
You're a very noisy mortal.
- Sorry. - I couldn't sleep, anyway.
I'm hungry.
Ah! What are you doing? Did you just lock me in?!
It's for your own good. It's sunny out.
Liar! It is your neck you're worried about.
(BANGING ON WOOD)
We make the bratwurst.
With our own fingers.
Um... I don't suppose you have any cereal?
- Uh? Hey? - Huh?
Well, I've never seen a better-looking platter
of bratwurst in my life.
You've never seen a platter of bratwurst.
And there are more where those came from.
In the kitchen.
What would happen if we were vegetarians?
(COW MOOS)
I guess we'd be grazing with the cows.
(COW BELLOWS)
That's it! Ugh!
Pardon me.
Do you have any aluminum foil?
Aluminum?
For the bratwurst?!
Oh!
Uh... no. Would you mind?
Thank you!
Huh?
Rudolph?
RUDOLPH: Who did you expect? Count Dracula?
I'm gonna let you out now. Breakfast is served.
It's still morning! I can tell.
Do you want some fried vampire on the menu?
Ah. Ahhhh!
(RUDOLPH GRUNTS)
Trust me.
I never thought I'd say this to a mortal,
but... I do trust you.
TONY: Straight.
A little bit to the left.
Careful. Right, right, right.
Watch your step! Watch your step.
Down the stairs. OK, careful now.
This way, Rudolph. Careful.
Left! No. The other left!
- BOB: Tony! - (GASPS)
Oh, no. My parents.
- BOB: Tony. - (GASPS)
Whoa! Stop!
- (TONY GROANS) - (BODIES CRASH TO FLOOR)
What is this?
I'm playing with my new friend, Rudolph.
Uh... he lives next door.
There is no next door.
Right over... there.
Uh... we were both gonna be astronauts.
Make spacesuits.
But, uh, we've run out of that amilium...
Uh... out of foil!
We're moonwalking! Get it?
Good one. Funny.
I'm happy you found someone to play with.
You're only young once. Right, Rudolph?
Hey, let's make some eye holes so at least he can see.
No! You wanna kill him? Uh...
No oxygen. Cosmic rays.
We're... we're on the moon, remember?
- (COW MOOS) - (FLIES BUZZ)
Hamburgers on the hoof! You'll love it.
- One second. - (FLIES BUZZ)
Just ignore the smell and the flies.
- (DOOR CLOSES) - I don't think I can do this!
You promised. I'm off the menu.
(COW GROANS)
(GRUNTS)
- (SQUELCH!) - Ugh!
- (LOUD CHEWING NOISES) - (SINGS TO HIMSELF)
(GROANS)
(YAWNS)
I never knew my father, you know?
I'm sleeping, Maney. (SNORES)
You know what my mother thought of me?
- That you talk too much? - No!
My obsessions, my inventions.
She thought I was crazy.
I did find you in an asylum.
Not an asylum! A boarding school.
There's a big difference.
We work at night. We sleep during the day.
So... (SNORES, THEN EXHALES)
It was different than I thought it would be.
I'm sleeping.
When I saw what my lights did to that vampire...
You are a hunter now, Maney.
You will learn to love it.
So go to sleep...
(YAWNS)
..before I put you to sleep.
- MANEY: Ohh! - (ROOKERY SNORES)
- (DOOR SLAMS SHUT) - RUDOLPH: Is it dark?
It could be midnight. Hold still. This could take a while.
Ha ha! That's what you think.
(SNARLS)
Is this what the blood did to you?
(GRUNTS)
- What's wrong with you?! - You want to learn what's wrong?
I'll tell you.
I am being hunted. Not just me.
My entire family.
My parents, my sister, my dear old auntie and uncle,
they are hiding out there somewhere.
But they could be dead for all I know,
killed by vampire hunters.
Mortals.
- (SNARLS) - Argh! Stop it!
My brother Gregory, the rest of my clan,
they are trapped,
buried in a catacomb in Transylvania
because... of... mortals
like you!
- (SNARLS) - Stop it!
- Huh? Ohh! - I'm not hunting you!
You are being so uncool!
If you and your family are in danger,
then let me help you.
(PANTS)
You have no idea what my world is like!
You can't help.
I can!
We... we've just gotta get past my parents.
But, Tony, my problems are... are nothing to do with you!
That's such a stupid thing for a friend to say!
(GASPS) Friend?
Yeah. Friend. Now shut up and go to bed.
We're gonna have a long night.
(BELLS CLANG IN THE DISTANCE)
(COWS MOO)
(COWS GRUNT)
(SNARLS)
(COWS GRUNT)
What's with the early bedtime? This is so not you.
We should put this back where it belongs.
No! Don't! It's my spaceship.
Me and Rudolph are astronauts, remember?
I liked Rudolph. Even wrapped in foil.
DOTTIE: Sleep well, Tony.
TONY: Goodnight, Mom and Dad.
We'll see each other in the morning, OK?
(CHUCKLES) Of course we will.
(GRUNTS)
Rudolph, the sun is down.
It's dark outside.
You can come out now.
Huh?
Uh...
(SIGHS)
(SOBS QUIETLY)
(SHRIEKS) Oh!
I thought you left without me.
- I almost did! - Whoa-oh! Whoa!
If you still want to come with me, now's the time!
My clan needs me. Needs us!
(SHOUTS)
There's no way that we can open this.
AUNTY: Frederick!
I keep telling you -
escaping through the labyrinth is our best chance.
- Freedom! - We'll find the way out.
I promise.
AUNTY: Rudolph!
I can't waste any more time.
Uh, do 13-year-old kids from San Diego fly?
- I can't even drive! - Oh!
I don't know how you mortals can stand walking everywhere.
- Are you ready to fly? - Actually, no.
RUDOLPH: Come on. Take my hand.
That's it.
(GASPS) Wow!
How am I doing this?
I'm holding your hand.
TONY: Oh! Oh-oh-oh!
Ohhh!
- Sick. - Yes, it is excellent, isn't it?
No. I'm getting sick.
As in... barf!
Oh, then stop spinning.
I don't know how!
Like this.
Whoa!
(WINDOWS CLATTER)
Now, we fly.
(UNSURE) Uh-huh.
Whoa!
Whoa. I don't know if I can!
I can leave you here. You are just a mortal, after all.
Whoa! Whoa! Ugh!
Don't even think about it, vampire!
I'm coming with you!
Good! Let's start with a small step, then.
OK. Uh...
- Give me your hand. - Don't drop me!
Just tell yourself you're floating,
like a... a leaf on the breeze.
(TONY SCREAMS)
- RUDOLPH: And now up again! - This is so not floating!
Oh, floating's boring.
TONY: Argh! I wasn't bored.
Argh! Ahhh. (EXHALES)
OK, OK. I can so do this.
I mean, the worst that can happen is...
You fall a few hundred feet. No more excuses! We fly!
(TONY SCREAMS)
(CRIES)
Ho-ho!
I can fly! I can fly!
I could get used to this.
Wow!
Ohhh!
Yes! Yes!
- I can fly! - I never doubted it.
- Is it cool? - The coolest!
(VEHICLE ENGINE REVS)
MANEY: Look! We're not far now.
It's that little brat. I'll bet his life on it.
The vampire hunter!
We are the innocents.
Why should he waste his time with us?
Ohhh! Look!
(GASPS) Der kleine Amerikaner.
Did you not check his reflection?
- I thought you did. - (GASPS) Ohh.
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
Oh. (GRUNTS)
(TONY SCREAMS)
Hey! Remember me? The kid who can't fly?
You almost dropped me.
It's Rookery, the vampire hunter.
Tony, playtime is over. You need to go home.
And you need to shut up. I'm not going anywhere.
I have to find my parents!
And I know where we should look.
Oh, yes, of course, the vampire expert.
Don't you guys hang out in graveyards,
crypts, places like that?
You mortals always assuming.
Well, as a matter of fact, we do.
You have a vampire infestation. (CHUCKLES)
My... (CLEARS THROAT) ..partner and I
are certified vampire hunters
and we are offering our services to you free of charge.
You should gratefully kiss my boots.
Aaah. (KISSES)
Could you please add a little more of the garlic?
It is just an expression.
We saw two of them flying tonight. Just boys.
And one is living here with his parents.
(SNIFFS)
Ohhh!
(SNIFFS) Smell that.
Right. (SNIFFS)
The smell of dampness and decay.
Some know wine by its bouquet.
Others know the scent of lilies and rose blossoms.
This... this is my perfume.
My Chanel No. 5.
I can smell it from a mile away.
(SNIFFS)
Eau de Vampire.
- (BELL TOLLS) - (OWL HOOTS)
Over there! Let's go.
I will go there and find out.
WE will. (SCREAMS)
You can't meet my parents. Sorry, Tony.
It's just the way it is.
Do we have to go through this again?
(GRUNTS)
(SCREAMS)
Ow!
(CLATTERS)
(GROANS)
This is insane.
(SOFT SNORING)
(DOOR SQUEAKS)
Hmm.
(MACHINERY WHIRRS)
So they're not vampires.
But we first found them in the graveyard.
Then that is our next stop.
- Maney! - (GROANS)
(YELPS)
(GROANS)
I knew you would find us!
Thank the Dark Star you are safe.
How did you get in?
You might wanna take better care of this.
- Oh! (CHUCKLES) - Give me that!
Rookery is after us, but I found a secret weapon.
It must be very dangerous.
He saved my life.
He?
You didn't think I'd leave you here, did you?
- Ready to meet my parents? - They said yes?!
- Well, they didn't say no. - I just hope they don't suck.
- What? - A joke.
Oh! (CHUCKLES) I... I don't get it.
(HISSES)
- (GASPS) - Father, stop!
- You're not being cool at all. - Cool?
It's an expression that Tony taught me. It means...
It means I think you're more amazing than I thought you'd be!
Well, over the centuries, a vampire learns to be...
(HISSES) Careful, mortal.
I am not susceptible to flattery.
- Huh! Not much! - So this is your secret weapon?
- This puny mortal boy? - He did save your son.
Tony Thompson. Very nice to meet you.
Rudolph is so lucky to have such a beautiful mother.
- Eugh! - How do you do?
- (HISSES) - RUDOLPH: Mother!
I'm Anna, Rudolph's sister.
I suppose you would never think I'm beautiful.
You are beautiful. I mean, really.
Rudolph, you're young, impulsive, foolish.
Fine, I can forgive you for that.
But we cannot put our fate in the hands of a mortal.
He's my friend!
And you - you can be many things to my son.
His breakfast, a snack... maybe dinner.
(GASPS)
..but you can never be his friend.
You can have your mortal friend or be a member of this family.
One or the other. The choice is yours.
Rudolph. My son!
- Tony. - Huh?
I never would have believed a mortal would come to our rescue.
Especially one as handsome as you.
I... I didn't...
I haven't... Thank you.
I know what you're doing.
Then please keep quiet and let me do it.
- Tony, snap out of it! - What?
Avoid her eyes. She's casting a spell on you.
I was under your spell the moment I saw you.
Yuck!
10 metres, 50 metres - however deep the catacomb is,
you'll be able to hear.
- Shh! - (LAUGHS) Are you proud?
'Proud' doesn't begin to explain it.
If a vampire even sneezes, you'll be able to hear it.
You want to know what I'm hearing?
(CHUCKLES)
SHUT UP!
(MANEY YELPS) Ow, ow, ow, ow!
I want to give you something.
(GASPS)
Hmm.
Always keep it with you. For luck.
It's lucky?
Hmm, it's mine, isn't it?
(SIGHS HAPPILY)
- (GROANS) - (TONY SIGHS)
And if you ever need help,
just whistle.
You know how to whistle, don't you?
- (GROANS) - Mm-hm.
You just put your lips together and blow.
(WHISTLES)
(BOTH WHISTLE)
- (RUMBLING) - (GASPS)
(GASPS)
Dark destiny, we are attacked!
YES!
You're going in after them?
These are vampires, not bunny rabbits.
You don't walk into their nest blindly.
We'll send them a little greeting first.
- Anna! Rudolph! - You came back!
- You made your choice! - Rookery made the choice.
(GASPS)
Beware! There must be another way out.
- There is. The sewers. - RUDOLPH: Hide!
No!
Get out of here!
Hmm.
Yes!
(BELL TOLLS)
I found this place when I was flying with Tony.
You two did get around.
I'm going back for Tony. There's no arguing.
And I'm going too.
MANEY: I'm not going down there!
ROOKERY: You are so wrong.
MANEY: The gate is locked.
I unlocked it.
I was waiting for you. Sorry about your lights.
Shocking, right?
And someone's gonna have to pay to have the ceiling fixed.
What if it rains? I mean, people live down here.
Well, not PEOPLE exactly, but...
My colleague and I are wondering about you.
Vampire or not?
Do you mind? I was kind of enjoying the dark.
The cross, Maney. Use the cross!
(WHIMPERS) Is it working?
Antique, right? You could sell those.
- He's not a vampire! - Shut up!
(DEVICE WHIRRS)
Garlic?! Gross!
So you're no vampire.
But you're worse - a mortal henchman,
a traitor to the human race!
If you're the human race, I'll take vampires.
(GROANS)
(YELLS)
It's Tony! I have to free him.
He's mine.
It's not working. And the Infra-Dead's gone too.
All his fault. Kids today!
No sense of responsibility.
Tied to the roof like some hunting trophy.
ANNA: Tony!
I told you. Mine.
- (ANNA GRUNTS) - Anna!
- What happened? - They slathered him with garlic.
They'll pay for that.
ROOKERY: We have unfinished business in Transylvania.
That little vampire lover is just slowing us down.
I say we... Ssst!
Hey, guys, I could really use a bath.
Shut up! We're discussing your future.
And I'll tell you this much -
I wouldn't be worried about your hygiene.
I didn't get into this to... Ssst!
He's a kid, not a vampire.
Oh, look who's found his conscience!
Look who grew his angel wings!
Oh, I know, this was all very exciting for you.
Rockets here, parachutes there. This gizmo, that thingy.
I am sick of your toys!
TONY: Guys...
Where do you think you'd be without my toys?
Guys! Shut up and listen for one second!
- I can help you. - How?
As bait. My vampire friends are gonna try rescue me.
But the garlic - they're not even gonna come near me
if I smell like a caesar salad.
You're willing to sell your vampire friends down the river?
You're not giving me a choice.
Oh, thinking like a mortal again!
A wise choice, boy.
We've lost them.
I should have kept him out of this.
You wouldn't have been able to.
He's too brave.
You're just in love.
(SOFTLY) In love. Ridiculous.
(SNIFFS)
Think the water's warm?
Freezing. That's what's gonna make this fun.
You're gonna cut me loose, right?
I'm not gonna do you any good at the bottom of the lake.
(COUGHS) Now, don't try anything funny.
I swim like a dolphin.
- MANEY: One, two, three. - (TONY YELLS)
What's that? Get back here!
- Go get him. - You're the dolphin.
(GROANS) OK, I lied. I can't swim a stroke.
So now what?
- I don't know. Maybe this. - (SPLASH!)
(YELPS)
ROOKERY: Oh! Oooh! Freezing!
(TEETH CHATTER)
(WHISTLES)
- (GASPS) - What?
- (WHISTLE ECHOES) - Tony is calling.
(GROANS) Oh, God! (SIGHS)
What's this?
(GRUNTS)
- Did they come back here? - Nein!
(GROWLS)
What the heck is going on?
De vampire hunters.
Und they come after your son.
- Because he is der vampire. - What?
OK, let's get a few things straight.
Your music gives me a migraine,
your bratwursts suck
and my son is no vampire.
Oh, no?
Then why isn't he in the bed at night?
Hmm? He is.
What is wrong with our bratwurst?!
Tony?
- (SNIFFS) - (GROANS)
Bob...
Now you see. Their families are always the last to kuh-now.
(YELPS)
You can take your bratwursts and...
Forget it.
(TEETH CHATTER)
You're freezing.
We'll go to your room and find you dry clothes.
Not necessary. (GRUNTS)
(YELLS)
Oh, man, I'm dizzy!
But dry.
(DOOR SLAMS)
ROOKERY: I'm not wasting another second on that American brat.
It's straight back to Transylvania.
They're going after my brother and my clan.
We have to get to Transylvania before them.
Before sunrise.
We've stopped them so far. We'll stop them again.
- Mom and Dad! - What?
They'll be worried sick.
But if they see me now, I'm not going anywhere.
Would it help if I convinced them you need to go?
You are very convincing.
Convince his parents, not Tony.
Anna, please. Listen to me.
For once in our lives, don't argue.
It's not just Tony's mum and dad we need to worry about.
What about ours? They must know where we're going.
They must know we're safe.
OK. I'll take care of the parents
but next time, big brother, I get to be the hero.
ANNA: Don't be scared. I want to meet you.
BOB: What?
ANNA: Please allow me to float in. Please?
May I introduce myself?
My name is Anna Sackville-Bagg.
I know your son. You might say I'm his special friend.
Oh, is he... special?
Tony is a good boy.
He saved my brother Rudolph's life.
- A very good... - Boy.
Tony is flying to Transylvania with Rudolph.
- Flying? - Transylvania?
That doesn't seem like
a trip you should make without your parents.
(BOTH GRUNT WORDLESSLY)
Someone's following us.
(TONY YELPS)
(MOOS)
Huh?!
- It's your cow! - What do you mean, my cow?
- You bite it, you bought it. - (GROANS)
(TONY LAUGHS)
(MOOS HAPPILY)
Uh, come on, then. Next stop, Transylvania.
They're Tony's parents.
I'm going with them.
You wanted to disown your son.
Do you want to lose your daughter too?
- Frederick, please. - Think of the clan.
- It's nearly daybreak. - That's the point.
They have their very own crypt-on-wheels.
Dark as a grave inside.
And when we wake up, we will be in Transylvania.
Go, Frederick. I hope that it will not be too late.
We will stay here, look after things.
Um...
I have the key, my darling.
FREDA: Keep well, Aunt and Uncle.
Farewell, my brethren!
May I introduce you to my parents?
My father, Frederick Sackville-Bagg,
and my mother, Freda.
Oh, great to meet you,
Mr Sack... ville... Bagg.
How do you do? My name is... Hmm...
Dottie Thompson.
- What did you do to these two? - Nothing.
We are most grateful for the use of your crypt-on-wheels.
Let me show you.
It's a bit small.
Oh, we've slept in smaller.
Hmm?
Just a little spell, really.
TONY: Look, we're flying faster than the cars!
We'll beat Rookery to Transylvania by hours!
Sunrise, Tony. We're not gonna make it.
The sun is your problem, not mine.
(VAMPIRES MUTTER)
We made it. We've reached the end!
WOMAN: We're back at the beginning!
We were walking in circles!
(GROANS) This is why it is called a labyrinth.
It's not easy to find the way.
We must try again.
TONY: You say here. Get some sleep.
I'll keep going.
(GRUNTS)
Occupied. Oh.
(GROANS)
I failed my family.
How long have you been 13?
300 years.
TONY: Then stop acting like a baby!
You've got me this far.
Just tell me how to get to the catacombs.
Just follow the road. You can't miss it.
It's the place full of dead people.
I'm getting used to that.
Rookery blocked off the entrance to our catacombs
with a steel net.
We need his special spanner to open it.
Spanner? You mean a wrench. I'll get it.
- You get out of the sun. - (GRUMBLES)
- (YELPS) - You too.
(LOWS)
I'll meet you tonight.
Please be careful.
(HORNS TOOT)
Ugh, peasants!
They shouldn't be allowed on the road.
- We should have gone left. - No! Don't correct me.
Don't tell me your feelings.
Whatever it is you think you want to do, don't!
So I'm just supposed to sit here and take orders from you?
You are a GENIUS!
(TOOTS HORN)
(MOTOR PUTTERS)
Hi.
Huh?
(TOOTS HORN)
- (TOOTS HORN) - Huh?
Hello. What is way to Transylvania?
- Hmm. - (HORNS TOOT)
Hmm...
Ha!
Ah, that's my short cut here.
Whoa!
Whoooa!
(SCREAMS)
(GRUNTS)
You so better work.
- (NET RATTLES) - Solid!
I'd like to see the vampire who could get through my net.
I wouldn't.
Do... you... hear... anything?
Oh, yes.
Ohhh, yes! They're down there, alright.
There must be dozens of them.
- Quick, back to the workshop. - We're done here?
No. THEY'RE the ones who are done.
(SNORING)
They seem like fine folks, but I think they're vampires.
Well, nobody's perfect.
Mm, yeah.
(BIRDSONG)
(WHOOSHING)
(MOOS)
(TAPS)
(COW GASPS)
Mm! Thanks for the wake-up call.
(MOOS)
You'll fly the helicopter
and take the bomb you seem so proud of.
I am travelling light - my crossbow,
my garlic gun and my trusty...
My spanner! They stole my spanner!
Meet me at the catacombs with the bomb!
Gregory! (BANGS NET)
It's me, Tony! I'm Rudolph's friend, Tony!
Gregory, do you hear me?
(BANGS NET)
Does anybody hear me?
Hm.
(ENGINE REVS)
Such a helpful brat.
Do you always show up at the wrong time?
Your wrong time, not mine.
Our little friend has been helping us with our work.
Doesn't mean I'm not going to put an arrow through his chest.
- (GASPS) - But one tiny question first.
How did you get my spanner?!
He's got a thing about that wrench.
(COW MOOS)
- (WHOOSHING) - (COW MOOS)
We've all got our quirks about something.
Quirks that come from weird, dark corners
deep inside our twisted brains.
Some of us have got more quirks than others.
I think it's kind of cute
that even a low-down dirty scumbag...
That's enough. How did you get it?
Now that I see how much it means to you,
I can see its beauty and versatility.
(BOING!)
This is becoming a bit of a habit.
You get yourself stuck in some horrible mess
and then I come to your rescue.
Me? Well, what about you?
Well, I... I guess that's what friends are for.
- (GROANS) - Is it painful?
That's the funny thing
about getting hit between the eyes with a spanner - it hurts!
Help me open the net, but not too wide.
I don't want the bloodsuckers escaping again.
Are we going inside?
No. We're sealing them in their tomb.
Let them rot while they think about the power of Rookery.
People who refer to themselves in the third person
are displaying a megalomaniacal...
Now you're a psychiatrist?
(STRAINS)
Well, come on! Help me!
They're going to bomb the catacombs.
Hey! Didn't you forget something?
(MOOS)
YOU stay HERE!
Can't you put a spell on them like Anna did?
- That's a girl thing. - It's a vampire thing.
Try it.
By the dark power that resides within me,
I bend you to my will!
No, you don't. I don't feel a thing.
Except homicidal.
I told you it was a girl thing.
How about a bargain?
Yes. There must be a bargain.
Shut up.
Bargain. Sure.
You can watch while I seal the catacombs shut forever.
And you, vamp boy,
can crawl into that hole
with the rest of your family.
Please, I'll...
The bomb's going off in 30 seconds.
Well, boy, in or out.
Don't do it. We'll save your family somehow.
You can't even save yourselves.
We've got to move back. There's going to be a shock wave.
- Come, boys! - BOYS: Oh!
(BOMB BEEPS)
Oh!
(GASPS)
(POIGNANT MUSIC)
(BOMB BEEPS RAPIDLY)
(CLICK!)
- (SCREAMING) - WOMAN: Oh! Oh, goodness!
- Oh, gracious! - VAMPIRES: Oh!
WOMAN: A way out! We're free!
Wait! It could be a trap.
Let me check.
- GREGORY: Excuse me, gentlemen. - (BOING!)
- Gregory? - Huh?
(SENTIMENTAL MUSIC)
- You got through the labyrinth. - Barely.
- The twists, the turns. - Arggh!
- RUDOLPH: Ugh! - TONY: Whoa!
Arggh!
This is no vampire!
He's my friend. That's what matters.
A mortal!
Tony Thompson. Mortal as they come.
(SNARLS)
He fought Rookery single-handedly.
He saved my life.
Oh, come on, Gregory! Shake Tony's hand.
He's cool!
Hm.
Gregory Sackville-Bagg.
But what's your temperature got to do with anything?
You've got a lot to learn, big brother.
(MOOS)
And who is this?
Rudolph's girlfriend.
(LAUGHS) Yes.
- Oh! - Ha!
Yee-ha!
It's called playing. I know, you hate it.
It doesn't look so bad.
I'll summon the others.
Look, no hands!
(GRUMBLES)
You, get to the helicopter.
I don't feel so good.
The helicopter, and if you're thinking about flying off,
I will follow you
to the ends of the earth.
(BOYS GASP)
What does it take to really get rid of him?
(ROOKERY LAUGHS) Here I come!
Oh, yeah!
Oh, come on.
- (COW BELLOWS) - ROOKERY: Oh, yes, gotcha!
(TYRES SCREECH)
What? Tony!
On a flying cow?
He's trying to kill my kid!
FREDERICK: OUR kids.
- How'd you get up here? - We're vampires, remember?
Fine.
You're vampires, but those are our kids,
and no-one's gonna hurt them.
- (ARROWS WHOOSH) - ROOKERY: Take that!
RUDOLPH: Come up, out of range!
Maney, I need air support. Do you read me?
Arggh!
Ready, aim...
(BELLOWS)
Oh, it stinks!
Arggh!
(GASPS)
- I have a date. - A date?
Tony!
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
You're looking like a knight on his galloping steed.
Well, technically, it's a cow, so...
Hurry! We have to save the clan.
You're too late! Gregory has already...
(LAUGHS)
(CHUCKLES)
(GASPS)
(ENGINE IDLES)
(LAUGHS)
(GASPS)
(LAUGHS)
(HEROIC MUSIC)
(ROOKERY SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY)
Arggh!
- Arggh! - What is he doing?
Arggh!
(BODY THUDS)
- (COUGHS) - MANEY: Oh, good!
(GROANS)
(SNIFFS) Ew! Ugh! Oh!
You smell disgusting!
I know what I smell like.
But all I need is a shower.
You need a psychiatrist! Goodbye!
- Oh, no, you don't! - Two psychiatrists!
- Come back here. - A whole team!
They should build you your own mental hospital.
I'm talking to you! Come back, I say!
MANEY: Lock the door and throw away the key.
BOB: You tried to kill my son!
Oh, I am so sorry.
I'm sorry that I missed squashing your little brat.
- Come on! Mano a mano! - (LAUGHS)
- My pleasure. - (GASPS)
- Yee-ha! - (ROOKERY GROANS)
- (COW BELLOWS) - TONY: Sorry, Dad.
I know you could have kicked his butt.
(WHEEZES)
I'll...
Ugh.
Bravo. That was so brave.
Yes, well done.
Now I can finish the job and save the clan.
That won't be necessary anymore.
What?
Oh.
Do you know, it's my youngest son's birthday today?
- Really? - And your son
has given him the best gift of all.
Yes, his friendship.
- DOTTIE: Huh? - BOB: Wow!
I mean, WOW!
FREDA: Bob, are you alright?
DOTTIE: He loves it.
Mom, Dad! What do you think?
Your new friends are fantastic.
Even if they are...
Vampires?
European.
(MAJESTIC MUSIC)
(LIVELY CHATTER)
It's Gregory, with the others!
Gregory.
Father.
- CLAN VOICES: Happy birthday! - Happy birthday, Rudolph!
For he's a jolly good fellow!
You did it! You saved your family!
Me? No, you.
Us. Immortal and mortal together.
It gives me hope. For many things.
Huh?
Whoa!
Cowabunga!
- What's wrong? It's your party. - He hates his birthday.
That's not it. It will be daybreak before you know it.
Oh, daybreak.
And we need a new home.
Hm. Hm.
OK.
WOMAN: Mr Tony Thompson!
What are you doing back here?
You're the bed and the bratwurst, right?
- We are the bed... - And the breakfast!
So cheer up! I brought you some guests.
Oh!
- Hello! - The little...
- Vampire! - And family.
Hello!
Oh!
(CHEERFUL CHATTER)
(MAJESTIC MUSIC)
(BELLOWS)
('BY YOUR SIDE' PERFORMED BY PHOEBE GIVRON-TAYLOR)
Subtitles by explosiveskull
SONG: ♪ Though it seems
♪ You and I are worlds apart
♪ I can feel
♪ That we are connected
♪ Heart to heart
♪ Still my words can't convey
♪ What you mean to me when I say
♪ I will always stand by you
♪ Differences don't matter
♪ Friends are true
♪ Come and take my hand
♪ Together we can fly
♪ Soar across the moonlit sky
♪ Darkest night or dawn's first ray
♪ I am never far away
♪ When you think of me
♪ I'm right there by your side
♪ You can trust
♪ I will catch you when you fall
♪ Can you see
♪ How we are no different
♪ After all
♪ Anytime you're lost, my friend
♪ Call my name and reach for my hand
♪ I will always stand by you
♪ Differences don't matter
♪ Friends are true
♪ Come and take my hand
♪ Together we can fly
♪ Soar across the moonlit sky
♪ High above the clouds we go
♪ Breathless glances at the world below
♪ Off to new adventures
♪ Worlds we can explore
♪ Places never seen before
♪ Darkest night or dawn's first ray
♪ I am never far away
♪ When you think of me
♪ I'm right there by your side. ♪