[water dripping]
[heavy breathing]
[chalk scratching]
[Phillip Goodman] It was my father's religious beliefs
that destroyed our family.
[inaudible]
[Goodman] We have to be so very careful what we believe in.
Hello.
There's a... there's a little lad coming through to me now.
Come on. Come on.
He wants to talk to someone.
Oh, he's a little... he's a little lad.
And he's looking for his mum.
Saying his name is Rob.
Or Robbie.
Is that you, sweetheart?
Stand up, my love.
[Goodman] Mark van Rhys is one of the UK's most popular psychics.
He believes that we're making a documentary about his special powers,
whereas, in fact, we are investigating
the many, many complaints that have been made against him.
Do what this lady has done and accept the message.
[woman on radio] Mark? Mark, can you hear me?
Oh, just give us a sign.
Scratch your nose for a sec, see.
Oh, thank God for that.
It's Steph, right? The woman's name is Steph.
[van Rhys] He calls you Mum.
But he's telling me your name is Steph?
[sobbing] Oh, my God.
- Is that right, my love? Are you Steph? - Yes.
Okay, so before the show starts,
van Rhys's team have audience members fill out one of these prayer cards.
They write down the name and details of the person they wish to contact
who has passed over to the "other side."
The team then steal this information
and they feed it back to van Rhys
through a hidden earpiece which I just hacked into.
And hey, presto, he's psychic.
[gasps]
My blood hurts, Mummy.
My blood hurts.
Why's he saying that?
[sobs] He had leukaemia.
Poor little lamb.
Oh, he's got a cheeky little smile, hasn't he?
Yes!
Children often make the best connection because they're so pure, you see.
He was such a good boy.
[van Rhys] He still is, my sweet. He still is.
He says he's happy.
- But he does miss your cooking. - [laughs]
Ladies and gentlemen, sorry to interrupt.
I'm Professor Phillip Goodman from the TV programme Psychic Cheats.
Mr Van Rhys, we have got-- Mr Van Rhys!
We have proof that you are being fed information through an earpiece
and pass it off as contact with the dead.
- Excuse me. - Pardon.
This will be broadcast on national television!
Can you deny that you were using an earpiece?
That's slander.
You'll be hearing from my solicitor in due course.
His assistant told him Robbie was in Christchurch Hospital.
- I can play you the tape. I'm sorry. - Sir! No!
Christchurch Hospital!
He's lying, isn't he? [sobs]
[Goodman] The idea of us and our loved ones dying,
just ceasing to exist, is so awful
that we'll believe anything which gives us hope
that there might be something beyond.
That fear is known as existential terror.
And the man who coined that phrase was Dr Charles Cameron.
[Cameron] So, why do you think the voices come through you, Jean?
[in deep voice] Because we love her.
And how many voices are there?
Three hundred.
I moved back in. I thought it would help.
She is only here 'cause she ran out of booze.
- Mum! - She fingered herself last night...
thinking about John Travolta.
Daddy sees everything.
Jesus!
I've seen this before.
Your mother feels abandoned.
- And the death of your father-- - Is she possessed?
No. She's angry that her husband had died.
As for the vase...
[clatters]
I did that.
The brain sees what it wants to see.
[Goodman] When I saw that clip when I was a boy,
it was like a lightning bolt struck me. [chuckles]
'Cause it was like somebody saying,
"You don't have to have your life ruled by superstitious fear."
And in the way that I'd been brought up, that was--
Honestly, that was a revelation,
'cause I didn't realise there was a different way of thinking.
And from that minute, I can remember thinking,
"That's what I want to do, that's what I want to be.
That is who I want to be."
The search for the missing scientist and paranormalist Charles Cameron
has been called off
three weeks after Mr Cameron's car was found abandoned
near his house in Filey.
[Goodman] I think it's ironic, to say the least,
that a man who spent a lifetime explaining away mysteries
became one himself.
I just wish I could have met him, is all.
[letterbox opens and closes]
Hello, Professor Goodman. This is Charles Cameron.
I'm sure you're surprised to hear my voice.
I'm familiar with your work and I need to see you.
I don't have long.
Please come to 79 East Shore Caravan Park.
Come soon.
Hi, Mr Cameron. I'm Phillip Goodman.
Hello, I'm Phillip Goodman. Come on.
Hello, Mr Cameron, I'm Phillip Goodman.
Hello, Charles. Hello, I'm Phillip Goodman.
[doorbell buzzes]
[Cameron] Hold on!
[toilet flushes]
Come in. I'm not paying to heat the street.
[grunts]
[flies buzzing]
Oh, Jesus!
Come in. Sit down. Sit down, please.
- Hello. I'm Phillip Goodman. - I know who you are.
- I can't quite believe this. - No?
Why is that?
I think, like everybody else, I just presumed you were dead.
How do you know I'm not?
[scoffs]
[both laugh]
Can I ask where you've been? What's happened?
Pour me a drink then.
Pour it from that bottle there. Bottle there. Pour it!
Okay.
[Cameron] Hmm.
[sighs]
[coughs]
I brought you something.
It's a copy of my latest book.
- I signed it-- - [groans]
Just stick it there.
I'm so familiar with your books and your TV work.
I've always felt a closeness to you--
Save those sentiments for your wife and family.
What a surprise. You're not married.
You could always see the truth, couldn't you?
Truth?
I look back now at my work with absolute shame.
I see the arrogance and the disrespect with which I went into those homes.
I took pleasure in pulling those stories,
those people, apart.
You're being hard on yourself.
I have seen your work,
Goodman.
You want to know what I think of it?
It's shit!
You are a conceited, weak-willed coward.
Editing out any inconvenient data.
Terrified of anything that does not fit into your tiny worldview.
Okay. I'm done. I came here in good faith--
Read this!
I couldn't explain three cases that haunt me still.
You go and investigate if you dare,
and come back and tell me that I am wrong.
Because I've come to one inescapable conclusion,
and that is, the supernatural, the unseen forces that surround us,
everything that you and I have spent a lifetime
trying to debunk and disprove,
it's all true.
[chuckles]
Every last bit of it.
Please, Mr Goodman,
I'm begging you,
tell me I'm wrong.
I need you to tell me
I'm wrong.
[indistinct chatter]
[car door slams]
Hello, Tony?
Aye-aye, Captain.
Hello, there.
Hi, I'm Phillip Goodman.
Bang! Whoa! Slow. Too slow.
[scoffs]
Yeah, you look like a teacher.
Do I? Right.
[chuckles] Erm, well, technically, I'm a professor.
They bloody insist on calling me that on that TV show that I do,
Psychic Cheats.
- Oh! - [both laughing]
- That's where I know you from. - Yeah.
Yeah, I seen that. [laughs]
Yeah, it's shit.
I'm only joking with you, mate. I ain't seen it.
I've never even heard of it, sunbeam.
Professor, eh?
Yeah.
That's the official title for someone who does a Punch and Judy.
You didn't know that, did you?
- No, I didn't, actually. - There you go, then.
The professor just learned something from the humble night watchman.
- And that's what you do, is it? - [device beeps]
You're a night watchman?
Actually, I don't want to talk about it, mate.
Sorry?
I'm just not feeling very chatty, sunbeam.
For fuck's sake.
[device beeps]
Oh! Did I forget to mention that there was a fee?
Hundred quid.
- Fifty. - Done.
Twenty,
twenty-five...
Fifty.
[device beeps]
So, that's what you do? You're a night watchman?
Well, I was, you know when, erm, it happened.
- And now? - Now?
[scoffs] Let's just say that immigration's made things
a bit tough, yeah?
How about family? You married?
I was married 15 years.
You get less for murder, don't you? [laughs]
[laughs] Did you divorce?
She died. 23 years ago.
I'm sorry.
If she fell ill now, they'd smash that cancer.
- Different world, isn't it? - Yeah.
- Any children? - Mind your own fucking business.
How many more questions have you got, eh Kojak?
Worse than getting car insurance.
I got a daughter. Marnie.
I was always a big Hitchcock fan.
If I'd had a boy, I'd have called him Norman.
[chuckles] How old is she?
She's 30.
Right, so she was seven when your wife died?
That must have been tough.
[laughs]
Marnie's not my wife's. I had a little bit on the side.
What you gonna do, eh?
Right.
- You see much of her? - I'm done. This is bullshit!
I thought you wanted to talk about what I'd seen.
I'm just trying to help.
You can't help me, mate.
[sighs]
She's in hospital.
She's been in there five years. Oh, fuck!
Locked-in syndrome, they call it.
Her eyes are open, but...
everything else is paralysed.
If I go and see her, I don't know if she even knows if I'm there or not.
I stopped going in the end.
I couldn't handle it.
My little girl.
I'm sorry.
You apologise a lot, don't you?
Guilty conscience?
[chuckles]
Do you want to...
Wanna tell me about your incident?
You'll think I'm mad.
Everyone else does. Even my priest.
[chuckles]
Ah, you don't believe, do you?
[scoffs]
It was my last night working that job.
Quarter to four in the morning.
That's a shit time of night.
Even after seven years of doing that shift,
your body never gets used to it.
That place had a history.
None of it was nice.
Hundreds of years before, it was a... What do you call it?
A nuthouse for women.
Mad birds roaming about the place.
Old brasses, drunks, young girls that got themselves knocked-up.
Newborns that no-one wanted.
Thrown away.
Miserable.
In the month leading up to that night,
two of the new foreign blokes quit.
They said they'd seen things.
Did you believe them?
I wish I had. Christ Almighty!
[static screeches]
Hello. Marek?
[static hisses]
You have to press the button on the side.
Press the big, black button on the side.
You Russian prick!
[Marek on radio] Yo, Tony! I am in other building.
[Tony] Congratulations! Which other building?
Uh, the building with the blue door.
All right. You're in building number 3.
Yes, this is. What do I do?
Well, you sit on your arse for the next ten hours.
Every hour, go for a walk around and then chart it.
Set that timer that I gave you.
Other than that, you do what you want.
I don't know. Read, play chess, learn English.
Okay. Thank you a lot, Tony.
All right, Marek. No worries.
[radio DJ] And then she sat down with a cup of tea,
and just went mad!
"That's typical of you, " she said, "Lord Muck, always thinking of himself.
Didn't even cross his mind to ask if I wanted one--"
I'm having a cup of tea, mate.
But what do you reckon? Was I selfish? Is that what marriage is?
A lifetime sentence of making two cups of tea instead of one?
[chuckles]
Or is it good to grab a bit of healthy "me" time?
It can oil the wheels, after all.
What do you think?
Mike in Barnet, hello.
- [Mike] Hi, Jeff. - Hello.
[Mike] Yeah, it sounds silly,
but we like doing everything together, whatever it is.
Even if it is just getting a chinky on a Saturday night.
Oh, fried rice, nice!
[Mike] We just love it. Blobbing in front of the telly. Perfect.
[Jeff] Oh, thank you for that, Mike.
You mean a Chinese, of course, don't you?
- Shut up. - Apologies on Mike's behalf.
But you're right. Maybe that's the secret of all--
Oh!
How did that--
[Jeff] If it had been, I'd have been worth a fortune--
[humming]
What the--
[woman on radio] It's not about,
you've got to have this and you've got to have that.
They forget the simple things, like holding hands.
My husband had a stroke a few years ago.
And he has been bedridden ever since.
I see him every day without fail. I hold his hand, I tell him--
Oh, well, that makes you a saint, you silly old bitch!
[sighs]
Oh, Jesus Christ!
Bloody hell!
I don't--
[gasps]
- [faint groan] - Hello?
[gasps] Oh, Jesus!
[gasping]
- Marek? - [static crackles]
Marek? Pick up, please, it's Tony.
[Marek] Hello, Tony.
Listen, have you been over here to this building?
No. I am in other one.
I don't like this place, Tony.
It feels...
bad.
We have a...
We have a word for this back home.
It is...
"Zlosliwy."
Look, don't...
don't let them thoughts get into your head, mate. All right?
Get yourself a radio, sunbeam. Yeah?
Look, I'm going to take a walk around, all right?
You sit tight for ten minutes
and I'll call you when I get back.
Okay. Thank you a lot, Tony.
All right, mate.
[pop music playing]
[man singing] I'll never let you go
Why? Because I love you
I'll always love you so
Why? Because you love me
No broken hearts for us
Because we love each other
And with our faith and trust
There could be no other
[song continues]
[grunts]
[exhales]
[gasps]
Hello?
Is anyone there?
Because you love me Because you love me
[playing on loop]
[music stops]
Marek? Marek?
[radio static]
[child on radio] Dada?
[radio static]
[man 1 on radio] It is a coma. A probable lock-in.
- He is here for keeps. - [man 2] Just one of those things.
The lights are on and nobody's home.
[banging on door]
Marek?
[groans]
[grunts]
[sighs]
Right, listen, you've got two minutes to get out of this building
before I come for you.
[grunts]
Marek, if that's you...
Right. Come on.
[chains clanking]
[laughs]
[footsteps receding]
Hello?
[breathing heavily]
Oh, what the bloody--
I'm not fucking about.
Come on.
Yeah? Yeah?
Shit!
- [child crying] - [breathing heavily]
- [child whines] - [door creaks]
[child] Dada!
[gasps]
I'm coming in.
I got you now. [laughs]
- [door shuts] - [gasps]
Let me out! Let me out!
Shit!
What the--
[shrieks]
[wings flutter]
Dada!
[gasps]
[groans]
[Goodman] Do you know what brought Tony back to the church?
You know, I'm not comfortable talking so directly about a parishioner.
I'm assuming you have Tony's permission to talk to me.
Yeah, yeah, of course.
But I can--
I mean, I can ask you some more indirect questions
if you're comfortable with that.
Yes.
Okay. Great. [laughs]
So...
So, what do you think is your responsibility
when a grown man like Tony comes to you
and says that they've had a supernatural experience?
[laughs]
You know, when I was a schools chaplain, I would always say to the boys,
"Age is not important to the Lord.
We are all children before Him.
If He wants you to believe,
He will send you a sign."
That is what these experiences are.
Signs.
Sure. But Tony-- With Tony--
Presumably, Tony told you about his incident.
Of course, yes.
The spirit. The unquiet spirit.
Yeah, so, for a moment, let's hypothesise that that happened--
Oh, you don't need to hypothesise. It did happen!
- [chuckles] - Tony testifies that he saw a spirit.
And he changed his ways accordingly.
- In what way is that not real? - Uh, of course.
For Tony's sighting to be taken seriously,
there's got to be some sort of material evidence,
because without that, it's just, you know...
Tony has got so much emotional baggage.
Baggage? We are talking about a man.
Our brother.
[sighs]
I'm so tired of this modern disregard for the spiritual life.
How unfashionable it's become
to believe in anything other than our own personal gains.
Did Tony tell you what he did after he had that experience?
No.
He went to see his daughter Marnie again.
The very next day.
And when she heard her father's voice for the first time in five years,
the doctor said her heart skipped a beat.
That, I think, Professor,
tells us everything we need to know about the reality of that experience
and its value.
You, Mr Goodman, would do well to think about that
with regard to your own family.
Good day.
[sighs]
[door opens]
[laboured breathing]
[doorbell buzzes]
Who is it?
It's Professor Phillip Goodman. We spoke on the phone.
[door unlocks]
Do you have any ID or anything?
You might not be the man that I spoke to.
- I am. - [both laugh]
Oh, okay. Here you go.
You sent that to Charles Cameron.
Come in.
[radio playing]
I'll be upstairs, Mum.
- [water running] - [dishes clanking]
Professor Goodman?
Simon?
[man coughs]
- Down here. - [gasps]
Jesus.
[Simon] Sit down.
Please don't touch my books.
God, it's boiling in here, Simon.
Yeah, I know. I just get really cold and really uncomfortable.
So I just like it to be as comf--
I just like it how I like it. [laughs]
Wow!
So...
So, what are all these? Where are these pictures from?
They're from all over.
It's my research.
Stuff I find on the Internet or books I'm reading,
stuff I'm interested in.
I'm trying to understand things.
It's helpful to have that stuff out and see it all the time.
Or when I want to see it.
If I don't want to see it, I can look over there
The thing that I don't want...
I don't want people looking at me and thinking I'm mad
because I know what I saw.
That's the thing, I know I'm tired.
I'm so tired, and it's hard to think straight,
but, I mean, I want to talk about this.
I want to find out about this, but I don't want people to think...
I want everything to be straight now, no frayed edges, no loose ends.
All straight. All smooth.
I don't want...
I don't want people thinking that there's anything...
wrong with me.
I see.
[sighs]
You okay?
Yeah.
Okay,
so...
Who else is up here with us in the upstairs room?
No-one. It's just us.
Sorry. Top bedroom.
- My brother's old room. - Right.
Is he still living at home?
Mr Perfect?
No, he's 25 and married. He's got a flat.
There's no-one here. It's just us.
- Sorry, I was just up-- - There's nobody here.
Do you want to go and look?
- No. - Fine, then.
[knocking on door]
Can you go away, please? We are trying to talk.
Do you not get on well with your parents?
They don't care about me.
I know you're still there.
[footsteps receding]
Can you help me?
I'll try.
All I need you to do is to just...
Just tell me everything you can about that night.
Everything.
If I can just understand what happened, then everything will be fine.
Okay.
I'm not the same person now as I was. It's...
The world is not the same.
Oh, God. I feel like such an idiot.
Why?
I was driving my dad's car.
I failed my test, but I was too afraid to tell them.
I pretended that I'd passed.
I was driving without a licence.
[operatic music playing]
[mobile rings]
- Hello? - [woman] Where are you?
In the car. On the way back from the party.
Oh, thank God. He's in the car, Raymond.
We've been trying to call. Where have you been?
There is no reception near Eddie's.
We've been sitting here on shpilkes.
You should have been back hours ago.
[Raymond] Hours ago.
[woman] Oh, Raymond, for God's sake!
- I'm talking-- - [disconnects]
Hello?
[mobile ringing]
Hello?
[Raymond] Your mother's gone to bed. We are upset.
Dad, I didn't put the phone down on you.
Oh!
And I'm sorry that I'm late.
I found that bloody housing form for university
that you should have sent in three weeks ago.
You told me you'd sent it!
Well, I... I thought that I had.
You're a bloody liar, Simon. You're a liar.
You might schmooze your mother, but you cannot schmooze me.
You lied about that form.
You lied about getting that Saturday job, didn't you?
What will we find out next?
That you lied about passing your driving test?
I'm sick to the bloody back teeth--
[disconnects]
Shit.
[mobile rings]
[Raymond] Don't you put the bloody phone down on me!
[stammers] I didn't put the phone down on you--
[screams]
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Are you okay?
Oh, my God!
[chuckles maniacally]
[dinging]
[engine rattling]
Oh, no, no, no, no.
- Come on. - [engine sputtering]
- Come on. - [engine stalling]
[breathing heavily]
No signal.
Come on.
[distant roar]
Fucking O2!
[grunts]
[line rings]
- [man] Hello. National Breakdown. - Hello.
Can you give me the car's registration, please?
Just give me one second.
AG57-EOZ.
Thank you. And is that Mr Rif-kind?
Rifkind. Yes.
I'm Simon. I'm his son.
Okay, Simon. And are you with the car right now?
[distant roar]
- Hello, Simon? - [sniffles]
Yes, yes, I'm right by the car.
Okay. We have you on the GPS,
so we know exactly where you are and we'll be with you
somewhere between ten and 45 minutes. Okay?
Please come as quickly as you can.
Thank you, Mr Rif-kind. Good-bye.
Rifkind!
[grunts]
[sobs] What have I done? What have I done?
[breathes sharply]
It's not real.
[bang]
Keys!
Hello?
- [shrieks] - [screaming]
[footsteps thudding]
[growling]
[car door opens]
[Simon gasps]
[door closes]
I am so sorry.
[low growling]
[voice] Stay!
Fuck that!
[panting]
[rumbling]
[whimpers]
[screams]
[roaring]
[Cameron] The supernatural, the unseen forces that surround us.
[beeps]
Charles, I've now investigated two of your cases quite thoroughly.
It feels quite simple to me, really.
The brain sees what it wants to see. They're your words, Charles.
Tony Matthews is an alcoholic who is wrestling with unresolved grief.
And Simon... is a fragile young man,
and from a deeply dysfunctional family,
- who's on the edge of psychosis-- - [rumbling]
I understand all too well, Charles,
how easy it is to get confused
and to lose faith in one's own judgement,
especially when we're tired and emotional...
and unwell.
[murmurs]
Keep up, Goodman.
I'm the soppy one, if you can believe that.
I wanted kids from the moment we got together,
but Maria said, "It's not going to happen."
- Maria is your wife? - Of course.
You know why she didn't want children?
Presumably, you were comfortable financially.
Oh, Jesus! That's all your lot ever think about, isn't it? Money.
What exactly do you mean by "your lot"?
No way she'd get pregnant
until she was made a partner at the firm.
Her words, not mine.
Priorities. Someone's got to earn the money
so you brainy poofters can sit around stroking your chins
and pulling onion out of your arses all day.
- [mobile rings] - Oh, hang on.
[clears throat]
- Yeah, I've got to do this. - Alright.
Huh.
Can we please talk about the incident?
You know what they called me in training?
- No. - The Prophet.
I had a sixth sense about what was going up and what was coming down.
This isn't about the financial markets.
I know what it is you are asking about.
I know.
Come on, then, up there. [clears throat]
I made a killing in the city.
I built the house, a real investment property.
That's where the incident happened, at the house?
When Maria finally got partnership,
bingo, time to have a baby.
But she was pushing 40 when we started, though, so...
Yeah, she had left it too late.
She was drier than the Gobi Desert down there.
Still, I said, "Not to worry." A splash of IVF.
Get the old baby machine working again.
I was at school with the top guy in that field.
So, yeah, 30 grand later,
bull's-eye!
The old girl is finally up the duff. Oh.
Why is it always the last key that unlocks everything?
Hmm?
[clears throat]
Et voila!
Everything was going great, and then seven months in,
she suddenly started spotting.
We pop her into a clinic for a couple of days.
The best care money can buy.
It was more like the bloody Savoy! [laughs]
[snorts]
So, I dropped her off. Popped home to do some paperwork--
Okay, what time was that?
It was...
Quarter to four. Hmm.
[water dripping]
[sighs]
[creaks]
[grunts]
Hmm.
[Goodman] You actually saw that happen?
It's my understanding that a poltergeist is an evil spirit or an angry spirit.
- Is that true? - No. [laughs]
There's absolutely no evidence to support that.
Hmm.
The guys at the hospital took Maria in for a scan,
but they didn't want to show us.
They said there were distortions on the screen or something.
- [mobile rings] - Sorry.
I'm right in the middle of this Chinese thing.
Yeah, so the scan?
[gasps]
A bit chilly, Prof?
- Sorry, I-- - [chuckles]
Have you ever killed anything, Mr Goodman?
- Certainly not. - Nothing you'll admit to, eh?
The doctors thought it best
Maria spend another night in the hospital.
So I went back to the house.
I had a stack of work to do.
You're supposed to feel safe in your own home,
aren't you, Mr Goodman?
Do you believe in evil, Professor?
I didn't...
until that night.
[creaking]
[thudding]
[glass shatters]
Maria?
[clattering]
[wind chimes tinkle]
[fluttering]
[fluttering continues]
[hyperventilating]
[gasps]
Maria?
We are dead.
Why aren't you in the hospital?
[screams]
[Mike screams]
I managed to get out of the room.
The phone rang while I was standing there.
It was the hospital.
I knew what they were going to tell me.
- The Prophet? - [mobile rings]
Apparently, the birth was...
He split her in two.
I'm glad Maria never lived to see what Barty looked like.
That would have destroyed her.
No-one believed that Barty would have survived this long.
But somehow life finds a way.
It's what I've learned, that...
life goes on.
[chuckles]
What?
Fuck! Fuck!
[Cameron coughing]
Mr Goodman, I didn't know you were here.
- I know exactly what's going on. - Oh, thank God! What?
This whole thing is a stupid, shitty hoax to get you back on TV.
It's a way of usurping me.
You are a lonely, jealous, bitter old man, and that's the truth.
Mr Goodman, you wouldn't know the truth if it kissed you on the lips.
Well, I know this.
There is nothing in any of these stories
that couldn't be explained away by any intelligent five-year-old.
Nothing!
You just can't find it in yourself,
can you, Phillip?
[groans]
You can't find the humility to admit that perhaps,
just perhaps, things are not always as they seem.
And that is precisely my point.
Everything. Everything is exactly as it seems.
Are you sure about that?
Yes.
[groans]
[laughs, snorts]
You don't know everything.
Do you, bubeleh?
[laughs]
Oh!
Sorry, can we cut?
Who are you talking to?
Phillip?
The brain sees
what it wants to see.
Oh, I really want to show you something. May I?
[Mike laughs]
In you come.
Come on!
It will just be the four of us.
You, me, Barty,
and, uh, you know who.
[gasps]
One last chance, Mr Goodman.
Anything you want to tell me?
About what? I--
Six? 79? 19?
[murmurs]
[singing] Jew-face, Jew-face, Goodman
Mummy fucked a dog shit
[laughs]
Okay, you weren't at school with me. Who are you?
Mr Brain Box, Clever Clogs.
Over-achiever, living on his own, there's no-one there at home.
Dare you turn some of that
prize-nominated, never-quite-winning acuity onto yourself?
Eleven? 92? 20?
Huh.
Come on. [clears throat]
Wait, wait! Please.
I don't like it.
Do you want to go in?
I can't.
[boy jeering]
That's on my shirt!
What are you doing, man?
- Yuck! - Hey.
- Oi, Jew-face! Oi, Jew-face! - [laughs]
Come here.
I've got to go home.
Come here!
I got to go home for my tea.
Or what, your fat pig of a mum will eat it?
[both laughing]
I won't tell you again, mate.
Get here!
Come on!
- I'm not going in there again, Freer. - [mimics]
Don't shit yourself. It's not a gas chamber.
[laughs]
Stand over there.
Go on.
- Yes! - [laughing]
All right, pick one up.
I don't want to.
I don't give a shit what you want. Pick it up!
Go on!
- Put it in front of your face. - What?
In front of your face!
Now don't you fucking move.
- What are you playing? - [both laughing]
- What is going on here? - Hey, Kojak!
Hey, come here, mate.
[both laugh]
Oh, my God! Come on, mate, quick.
Hey, Kojak. Do you want to be in our gang?
- Can I? - Yeah, of course you can, mate.
If you think you're cool enough.
[laughing]
Where you going?
I need to get home.
No, bollocks! You're staying here.
Watch Kojak do the tenth number.
Yeah, stay and watch.
Leave him be. He can't count.
Yeah, I can. I can count to 100.
See? Right, come here. Come here.
You see that? On the side of the echo?
What number is it?
- Six. - Yeah! Well done! Well done!
That's the first number of ten different numbers
I've chalked up on the walls in there.
All you have to do to be in our gang is go in,
right the way in,
keep walking until you find all ten of the numbers.
And then remember which is the tenth one, yeah?
Callahan, there aren't--
I just need to remember the tenth one?
Yeah, only the tenth one.
Look carefully, because some of them are quite far apart.
- [snickers] - Shut up!
When you come out and tell me what that tenth number is,
you tell me the correct number, you can be in our gang.
Yeah?
- I'll start now? - Hang on.
You're going to need this.
It gets quite dark in there.
All right, go get that tenth number, then.
- Go on! - Yay!
[Parry laughs]
Go on.
Six!
- Good start. - [laughs]
Seventy-nine.
Nineteen.
- What were you gonna say? - Nothing.
That there's no tenth number?
No, I was not.
Would you say you shit yourself when you tried it?
Keep it zipped, or else!
All right?
[Callahan] Twenty.
[laboured breathing]
Forty-eight.
I don't like it. I want to come out now.
Oh, don't give up now!
- Please! - Oh, keep going!
I want to come out. It's really narrow.
Don't you fucking dare, Kojak!
We're not letting you out until you find that tenth number.
[shaky breathing]
[Callahan wails]
[gasping]
- [gasping stops] - [water dripping]
Callahan!
You left him to die in there, didn't you?
- What could I have done? - Told someone when you got home?
Brought it up in assembly the next day?
How about running into the echo to see if Desmond needed help?
It was a fluke. It's one of those things.
- A horrible accident. - How convenient.
We didn't know he was asthmatic.
The only fluke here is the fluke in his DNA
that left him vulnerable to people like you.
People like me?
I have spent my life trying to help people.
Trying to put back in, trying to help people to see the truth
in amongst the sea of sentimental lies and crap.
[laughs] That's--
Don't laugh at me!
I wasn't the one who made him go in there.
I wasn't the one who called him Kojak to his face.
And I wasn't the one who wouldn't let him come out when he wanted to.
I did nothing.
That's right, you did nothing.
You passenger.
And since then, how have you spent your days?
Reducing life's biggest questions to atoms and molecules?
It is just atoms and molecules. What else is there, for God's sake?
[wailing]
Hello, here I come.
Here I come.
Barty, shh. It's okay. Look, look, look.
Look, it's all right. Daddy's got Meow-Meow.
- It's all right. - [Barty panting]
Here we go, a big one.
Open wide. Open wide. Here.
Yes, good boy. Good boy.
Good boy.
- [Barty whines] - Come on, Barty.
Oh, there's a good boy.
Oh!
Mr Goodman.
For all your clever talk,
you're really more scared than anyone, aren't you?
What you've actually been doing with your life
isn't helping others,
it's running from your greatest fear,
which is that there's more than the here and now.
And that every action you've ever taken, or didn't take,
has had an effect.
It's left a little trace.
A ghost of itself.
That is true, isn't it?
[shushing]
He's asleep.
[shushing]
Come on.
[Goodman shrieks]
[sobs]
- Please! - [laughs manically]
Callahan!
Callahan, I'm so sorry!
Oh, no. Oh, no. Not again.
Please?
[laughs manically]
Please, please, please, please!
Callahan, please, please, please! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!
Please!
Callahan! Callahan!
[laughs manically]
[screeching]
[ventilator hissing]
[Jeff on radio]...and just went mad.
"That is typical of you, " she said, "Lord Muck, always thinking of himself."
Yes, I know I missed last Friday night, Mum.
I'm sorry.
You could tell Dad that I will be there this Friday, okay?
Please, Mum. I am at work.
I've got to go.
I love you, too. Bye.
Ah. Mr Priddle.
[clears throat]
Oh, yes. Professor Phillip Goodman.
Admitted April 13th, 3:45 a.m., attempted suicide.
[clears throat] Failed self-asphyxiation in his car.
Silly bugger! Shotgun in the mouth, that's the way to do it!
- [mobile rings] - Oh, better see this.
Mmm-hmm. Ha!
[laughs, snorts]
[chuckles]
Right.
Neurological examination reveals...
Fixed and dilated pupils. So...
What is our verdict, Dr Rif-kind?
Rifkind, uh...
[nervously] Coma.
Uh, probable lock-in.
He is here for keeps.
Yeah, just one of those things. Lights are on, there's nobody home.
Well, as my old professor Charlie Cameron used to say,
"Let us hope his dreams are as sweet. Next room, laddie, next room."
[laughs, snorts]
[clears throat]
Hello again, sunbeam.
Don't mind me.
[woman on radio] Love has a way of conquering.
[Jeff] Mike in Barnet, hello?
[Mike] Hi, Jeff, yes, it sounds silly,
but we like doing everything together, whatever it is.
Even if it is just getting a chinky on a Saturday night.
Oh, fried rice, nice.
Right, see you tomorrow.
Be good!
[Jeff] But you're right.
[humming]
Here we go, sunbeam.
A little change of scenery.
[whistling]
[ventilator hissing]