WEBVTT FILE 1 00:02:09.506 --> 00:02:11.007 Mind if I do a quick mop? 2 00:02:11.174 --> 00:02:12.509 You're shouting. 3 00:02:12.675 --> 00:02:13.676 What? 4 00:02:17.847 --> 00:02:19.682 - I can come back later. - No, it's fine. 5 00:02:20.517 --> 00:02:22.101 Just don't touch anything. 6 00:02:24.020 --> 00:02:25.897 "Just don't touch anything." 7 00:02:25.980 --> 00:02:27.023 Dickbreath. 8 00:02:29.192 --> 00:02:30.860 You want a Tic Tac? 9 00:02:32.946 --> 00:02:35.281 All right. I'll take that as a no. 10 00:02:51.047 --> 00:02:52.382 Oh. Come on. 11 00:03:18.783 --> 00:03:19.784 Oh... 12 00:03:21.327 --> 00:03:24.247 What the hell happened to you, dude? 13 00:03:32.755 --> 00:03:35.675 Dod? What the fuck kind of name is Dod? 14 00:03:36.551 --> 00:03:38.595 - Oh! 15 00:03:43.683 --> 00:03:45.852 Go, go, go, go, go. 16 00:03:47.770 --> 00:03:49.022 Come on! 17 00:03:53.610 --> 00:03:56.029 No! Oh, no, no, no. Reset, reset. 18 00:03:56.613 --> 00:03:58.615 Oh, shit. Oh, shit. 19 00:03:58.948 --> 00:04:00.617 Dod! Come on! 20 00:04:01.951 --> 00:04:04.704 Clear! Accept! Accept the motherfucker! 21 00:04:05.288 --> 00:04:07.040 Shit. Okay. All right. 22 00:04:07.457 --> 00:04:08.458 Um... 23 00:04:09.459 --> 00:04:11.461 I'll do CPR. Yeah. 24 00:04:20.345 --> 00:04:23.681 - All right! Some Takis Fuego. 25 00:04:27.685 --> 00:04:28.728 Come on! 26 00:04:30.813 --> 00:04:32.815 Come on, breathe, dude! 27 00:04:37.362 --> 00:04:39.697 Oh, shit! Oh, hell, no. 28 00:04:41.366 --> 00:04:43.409 Okay. All right. All right. Come on, Dod. 29 00:04:43.493 --> 00:04:44.786 Come on. We got this. 30 00:04:52.543 --> 00:04:54.337 Please, come on, Dod! 31 00:04:55.004 --> 00:04:56.005 One, one thousand! 32 00:04:56.339 --> 00:04:57.382 Two, one thousand! 33 00:04:58.466 --> 00:04:59.467 Ah! 34 00:05:20.697 --> 00:05:21.698 No, no, no! 35 00:05:22.907 --> 00:05:24.200 No, no, no! 36 00:05:27.370 --> 00:05:28.371 Come on. 37 00:05:31.582 --> 00:05:32.583 Ah! 38 00:05:52.061 --> 00:05:54.063 You are kidding me. 39 00:06:05.742 --> 00:06:07.243 Oh, crap. 40 00:06:23.092 --> 00:06:24.093 Why? 41 00:06:53.790 --> 00:06:55.291 You know what's cooler than cool? 42 00:06:55.625 --> 00:06:56.959 Scouting! 43 00:06:57.126 --> 00:06:58.127 Action! 44 00:06:58.294 --> 00:07:00.880 Hi, there, guys. My name is Scout Leader Rogers. 45 00:07:01.130 --> 00:07:05.051 And I'm here to show you what scouting is all about. Come... 46 00:07:05.301 --> 00:07:08.304 Being a Scout is about the bonds of friendship. 47 00:07:10.640 --> 00:07:11.599 Check it out! 48 00:07:11.682 --> 00:07:15.686 These Scouts are on their way to earning a Bow and Arrow Badge! 49 00:07:16.395 --> 00:07:20.149 Badges are the Scouts' highest symbol of achievement. 50 00:07:21.400 --> 00:07:23.986 Scouts can earn all sorts of badges. 51 00:07:25.822 --> 00:07:27.990 What's cooler than cool? 52 00:07:28.324 --> 00:07:29.992 Scouting! 53 00:07:32.495 --> 00:07:36.833 All right, are you in or are you in? 54 00:07:43.840 --> 00:07:45.675 Hey, listen, there's free cookies every Friday. 55 00:07:45.842 --> 00:07:48.344 We do sing-alongs on Saturdays. 56 00:07:48.678 --> 00:07:50.346 It looks great on a college application! 57 00:07:51.681 --> 00:07:53.933 I love this tragic ritual. 58 00:07:54.016 --> 00:07:56.269 Someone's gonna sign up, guys! 59 00:07:56.352 --> 00:07:57.520 We have to keep trying! 60 00:07:57.854 --> 00:08:00.148 Augie, a unicorn's gonna fly out of your ass 61 00:08:00.231 --> 00:08:01.524 before somebody joins. 62 00:08:01.607 --> 00:08:03.442 Carter! Language. 63 00:08:03.526 --> 00:08:04.902 Yeah, he's right. Nobody's ever gonna sign up. 64 00:08:04.986 --> 00:08:06.279 It's just a waste of time. 65 00:08:06.362 --> 00:08:08.906 Ye of little faith. Where's that Scout spirit? 66 00:08:09.365 --> 00:08:11.492 Look, guys, we're not gonna quit trying just because 67 00:08:11.576 --> 00:08:13.661 we lost a couple hours sitting around on our butts 68 00:08:13.744 --> 00:08:14.954 with nothing to show for it. 69 00:08:15.496 --> 00:08:17.582 I mean, some people spend their entire lives 70 00:08:17.665 --> 00:08:19.792 and have nothing to show for it. 71 00:08:22.587 --> 00:08:23.796 Well... 72 00:08:24.005 --> 00:08:26.424 I think we all know it's Augie's special night. 73 00:08:29.302 --> 00:08:31.846 After years of hard work and dedication, 74 00:08:31.929 --> 00:08:35.141 he will receive the highest honor of a Scout, 75 00:08:35.224 --> 00:08:36.559 the Condor Badge, 76 00:08:36.893 --> 00:08:38.895 in a ceremony at tonight's campout. 77 00:08:39.020 --> 00:08:41.063 Okay.Let's see. 78 00:08:41.147 --> 00:08:42.815 Latrine duty: Carter. 79 00:08:42.899 --> 00:08:44.692 No! No, no, no, no. I always dig the shitter. 80 00:08:44.775 --> 00:08:46.110 It's called a latrine, not a shitter. 81 00:08:46.944 --> 00:08:48.696 All right, Ben, you're on wiener duty. 82 00:08:48.905 --> 00:08:50.907 - That's enough. 83 00:08:50.990 --> 00:08:53.826 Carter, nobody eats a hot dog like this. 84 00:08:55.745 --> 00:08:58.581 All right. Ben, why don't you lead us in the Scout Oath? 85 00:08:58.998 --> 00:09:00.541 - Come on. - All right. 86 00:09:03.085 --> 00:09:04.837 This do I swear: 87 00:09:05.254 --> 00:09:07.590 To live courageously, 88 00:09:07.673 --> 00:09:09.550 to help others when I can, 89 00:09:09.634 --> 00:09:13.346 defend what I must, so help me God. 90 00:09:13.429 --> 00:09:14.931 Scouts forever! 91 00:09:15.014 --> 00:09:16.349 Scouts forever! 92 00:09:16.599 --> 00:09:18.100 Scouts forever. 93 00:09:18.768 --> 00:09:20.186 Scouts forever. 94 00:09:20.353 --> 00:09:21.854 Forever! 95 00:09:26.442 --> 00:09:28.069 Ben, we have to tell Augie. 96 00:09:28.152 --> 00:09:29.528 - I know. I know. - We're ditching Scouts. 97 00:09:29.612 --> 00:09:30.655 Yeah, we'll tell him. 98 00:09:30.738 --> 00:09:31.864 We've been talking about it for over a year. 99 00:09:31.948 --> 00:09:33.699 I know. We just have to find the right time. 100 00:09:33.783 --> 00:09:35.284 Okay, we'll do it tonight, then. 101 00:09:35.368 --> 00:09:37.286 No, we can't tell him tonight. He's getting his Condor Badge. 102 00:09:37.536 --> 00:09:40.206 He's been working toward this ever since he joined Scouts. 103 00:09:40.373 --> 00:09:41.958 You know how much it means to him. 104 00:09:42.041 --> 00:09:44.877 Especially since his dad can't be there. 105 00:09:46.212 --> 00:09:47.755 It's been two years, Ben. 106 00:09:47.838 --> 00:09:51.300 We can't just stay in Scouts because we feel sorry for him. 107 00:09:51.384 --> 00:09:53.261 Come on, that's not the only reason we're staying in Scouts. 108 00:09:53.344 --> 00:09:54.387 Come on, you've had fun. 109 00:09:54.470 --> 00:09:57.265 Had fun, okay? Past tense. Had. 110 00:09:57.348 --> 00:10:00.142 And now I am ready to move on. I mean, you realize 111 00:10:00.226 --> 00:10:02.061 it's gonna be junior year next year. 112 00:10:02.144 --> 00:10:04.105 I mean, you know what that means, right? 113 00:10:04.188 --> 00:10:05.564 We start thinking about college. 114 00:10:05.648 --> 00:10:08.567 We start thinking about pussy, Ben! 115 00:10:08.651 --> 00:10:11.404 Come on. Junior year is when all the girls become sluts. 116 00:10:11.487 --> 00:10:12.488 - Oh, really? - Yes. 117 00:10:12.571 --> 00:10:15.491 And if we're sitting here in these Scout uniforms, 118 00:10:15.574 --> 00:10:17.827 it's gonna be the male version of a chastity belt, Ben. 119 00:10:23.416 --> 00:10:24.834 Oh, shit. Shit. 120 00:10:25.710 --> 00:10:27.211 What the fuck was that? 121 00:10:27.837 --> 00:10:29.922 Holy shit. Oh, my God. 122 00:10:35.261 --> 00:10:36.262 Oh, shit. 123 00:10:36.345 --> 00:10:38.306 Dude, that scared the shit out of me. 124 00:10:38.389 --> 00:10:39.932 Yeah, me, too. 125 00:10:40.016 --> 00:10:42.018 No, like, literally, a little shit came out. 126 00:10:42.101 --> 00:10:43.436 Dude, stop. 127 00:10:46.856 --> 00:10:48.858 Jesus Christ. You hood-fucked Bambi. 128 00:10:48.941 --> 00:10:50.776 I didn't mean to! It wasn't my fault, Carter! 129 00:10:50.860 --> 00:10:52.361 It was just standing there! 130 00:11:04.540 --> 00:11:06.042 Oh, shit. 131 00:11:06.208 --> 00:11:07.877 Oh. Damn it. 132 00:11:08.377 --> 00:11:10.629 Great. Just awesome. 133 00:11:11.881 --> 00:11:14.133 Is that a spare for your bike or the car? 134 00:11:14.216 --> 00:11:17.053 Shit. My dad's gonna be so pissed. 135 00:11:18.054 --> 00:11:19.388 Carter, where are the other lug nuts? 136 00:11:19.472 --> 00:11:21.307 How should I know? I've been sitting here doing nothing. 137 00:11:21.390 --> 00:11:22.725 Yeah. I noticed. 138 00:11:25.394 --> 00:11:27.146 Oh. Dude, that's my sister. 139 00:11:28.064 --> 00:11:29.648 Kendall! Kendall! 140 00:11:30.816 --> 00:11:31.984 Hey! 141 00:11:35.112 --> 00:11:36.113 Hey. 142 00:11:36.739 --> 00:11:38.657 Can you help us? 143 00:11:56.884 --> 00:11:57.885 - Catch! - Ow! 144 00:11:58.260 --> 00:11:59.345 - Jeff! - What? 145 00:11:59.428 --> 00:12:00.513 I said, "Catch." 146 00:12:00.596 --> 00:12:02.014 I thought he had it. 147 00:12:02.098 --> 00:12:04.350 - Sorry, bro. It's my bad. - Yeah. 148 00:12:04.433 --> 00:12:06.602 Are you guys okay? I mean, what happened? 149 00:12:06.685 --> 00:12:09.355 We hit a white-tailed deer. It was huge. 150 00:12:09.438 --> 00:12:11.273 Yeah. We were just driving, and then it was like, boom! 151 00:12:11.357 --> 00:12:13.692 You guys hit a deer? That's awesome. 152 00:12:13.776 --> 00:12:16.112 Nope, not awesome. Are you kidding? 153 00:12:16.195 --> 00:12:17.947 Nothing awesome about it. Look at my car. 154 00:12:21.283 --> 00:12:22.368 What's up, Chloe? 155 00:12:23.285 --> 00:12:24.870 - Hey... - Hey. 156 00:12:24.954 --> 00:12:26.539 - Carter. - Carter! 157 00:12:26.622 --> 00:12:29.208 Yeah. I sit behind you in Spanish class. 158 00:12:31.252 --> 00:12:32.253 Oh, gracias. 159 00:12:33.045 --> 00:12:34.964 So, I'm really down with this 160 00:12:35.089 --> 00:12:36.549 whole little Scout uniform you guys got going. 161 00:12:36.632 --> 00:12:37.842 All these little patches and stuff. 162 00:12:37.925 --> 00:12:40.594 Actually, Ben and Carter have been 163 00:12:40.678 --> 00:12:42.972 Scouts together since, what, you were like six, right? 164 00:12:43.055 --> 00:12:45.349 - Yeah, yeah. A long time. - That's awesome, man. 165 00:12:45.433 --> 00:12:47.059 Ben's like my little brother. 166 00:12:47.143 --> 00:12:48.978 Yep. That's me. Little brother Ben. 167 00:12:49.061 --> 00:12:50.396 Hey, Jeff! 168 00:12:51.313 --> 00:12:53.065 All right, well. Sorry about that face again. 169 00:12:55.484 --> 00:12:57.820 Hey, are you going to the party tonight? 170 00:12:57.903 --> 00:12:58.904 What's up? 171 00:12:58.988 --> 00:13:02.825 Yo! Aber-blow-me and Bitch, man. What's up? Hey. 172 00:13:02.908 --> 00:13:03.993 Always coming up with good ones. 173 00:13:04.076 --> 00:13:06.412 Listen, I was just talking to Carver here, and... 174 00:13:06.495 --> 00:13:07.580 Carter. 175 00:13:07.663 --> 00:13:09.790 - I came up with a great idea. - Really? 176 00:13:09.874 --> 00:13:11.083 Hit me. What do we have? 177 00:13:11.167 --> 00:13:12.835 How'd recruiting go? 178 00:13:12.918 --> 00:13:16.088 Oh, the usual. Yeah, no one joined. 179 00:13:16.172 --> 00:13:17.590 I think it's just a big joke at this point. 180 00:13:17.673 --> 00:13:18.757 It's not a joke. 181 00:13:18.841 --> 00:13:21.427 I think it's really cool you guys have stuck with Scouts. 182 00:13:21.510 --> 00:13:23.721 One day you're gonna look back on this 183 00:13:23.804 --> 00:13:25.681 and you're gonna be really happy you did it. 184 00:13:26.849 --> 00:13:28.517 Okay. Thanks. 185 00:13:32.855 --> 00:13:35.941 Looks like the deer made out better than your car. 186 00:13:36.025 --> 00:13:38.277 Yeah. Wait, what? What do you mean? 187 00:13:38.986 --> 00:13:40.488 Well, where is it? 188 00:13:40.571 --> 00:13:42.239 It's right over there. 189 00:14:10.059 --> 00:14:12.144 Holy shit! Holy shit, man! 190 00:14:12.228 --> 00:14:13.729 You dick. What's wrong with you? 191 00:14:13.812 --> 00:14:16.315 Dude. Dude, okay. You're never gonna believe what happened. 192 00:14:16.398 --> 00:14:17.900 Hey, you sure you guys don't need a ride? 193 00:14:18.776 --> 00:14:20.194 No, we're good. 194 00:14:20.277 --> 00:14:21.320 See you boys tonight. 195 00:14:21.403 --> 00:14:23.239 Hey! See you tonight, man! 196 00:14:23.322 --> 00:14:25.491 All right? All right? 197 00:14:27.243 --> 00:14:29.578 Bye, Chloe! Bye! 198 00:14:30.746 --> 00:14:32.164 What are you talking about, tonight? 199 00:14:32.248 --> 00:14:33.999 Dude, you are never going to guess what happened. 200 00:14:34.083 --> 00:14:37.127 We got invited to the secret senior party, man. Look. 201 00:14:37.670 --> 00:14:39.922 Who cares? Look, the deer is gone. What about the deer? 202 00:14:40.005 --> 00:14:41.257 Dude, fuck deers, man! 203 00:14:41.340 --> 00:14:44.677 We are going to the secret party, man! Come on! 204 00:14:44.760 --> 00:14:46.845 I'm gonna fuck Chloe. 205 00:14:46.929 --> 00:14:49.098 I'm gonna fuck Chloe. 206 00:14:54.270 --> 00:14:55.938 Ben, come on. This is the chance of a lifetime. 207 00:14:56.021 --> 00:14:57.815 Okay. I mean, quit acting like you don't want to go. 208 00:14:57.898 --> 00:14:59.358 Of course I want to go. I do. 209 00:14:59.441 --> 00:15:02.861 But it's Augie's big night. He's getting his Condor Badge. 210 00:15:02.945 --> 00:15:05.030 We can't miss the ceremony or he'd never forgive us. 211 00:15:05.114 --> 00:15:07.199 Okay, look, hear me out. 212 00:15:07.283 --> 00:15:08.909 We go to the campout, 213 00:15:08.993 --> 00:15:10.995 and when Augie and Rogers fall asleep, 214 00:15:11.078 --> 00:15:12.788 we will sneak out and go to the party. 215 00:15:12.871 --> 00:15:13.872 Carter... 216 00:15:13.956 --> 00:15:14.957 We'll be back before dawn, 217 00:15:15.040 --> 00:15:16.834 it'll be like we never even left. 218 00:15:17.543 --> 00:15:19.587 I don't know. It just sounds... 219 00:15:19.670 --> 00:15:20.671 Ben. 220 00:15:21.880 --> 00:15:24.300 This could be the night of our lives. 221 00:15:25.217 --> 00:15:26.552 Please. 222 00:15:28.637 --> 00:15:30.973 All right. I mean, I guess we could try. 223 00:15:32.975 --> 00:15:34.518 - Okay. - I love you. 224 00:15:34.602 --> 00:15:36.729 You're amazing. Thank you! 225 00:15:36.812 --> 00:15:38.147 Whoa! What the hell? 226 00:15:38.814 --> 00:15:40.316 Hi, Mrs. Fielder. Hi. 227 00:15:41.483 --> 00:15:45.404 Your garbage cans were blocking my driveway again. 228 00:15:45.904 --> 00:15:47.740 Had to move them myself, 229 00:15:47.823 --> 00:15:51.076 which is no easy task with a herniated disk. 230 00:15:51.160 --> 00:15:52.161 Okay, great. 231 00:15:52.244 --> 00:15:56.749 You tell your father to keep his trash on his side of the property. 232 00:15:57.333 --> 00:16:00.127 Okay, we'll do that, Mrs. Fielder. Thank you. 233 00:16:00.210 --> 00:16:04.089 All right, thanks. Yep. Can you just move right there? 234 00:16:04.173 --> 00:16:06.008 Thank you. Bye! 235 00:16:06.425 --> 00:16:07.843 Jesus Christ. 236 00:16:08.260 --> 00:16:10.179 You old hag! Okay. Thank you. 237 00:16:10.262 --> 00:16:11.597 She is so annoying. 238 00:16:12.014 --> 00:16:15.184 Oh, my God. Can you imagine living next to that? 239 00:16:15.267 --> 00:16:18.395 Oh, my God. Dude, how many cats does she have? 240 00:16:18.479 --> 00:16:20.981 Dude, who knows. She probably rubs Fancy Feast on her cooch 241 00:16:21.065 --> 00:16:22.441 and lets them all go to town. 242 00:16:22.524 --> 00:16:23.525 - What? 243 00:16:23.609 --> 00:16:27.071 Meet me here at 5:30 and then we'll go to Camp Womp Womp. 244 00:16:27.154 --> 00:16:29.281 Then we'll go to the party. All right? 245 00:16:29.365 --> 00:16:30.949 - All right? All right. - All right. 246 00:16:31.033 --> 00:16:32.117 See you soon, man. 247 00:16:32.201 --> 00:16:33.202 All right. See ya. 248 00:16:43.128 --> 00:16:44.546 Oh, litterbugs. 249 00:16:44.838 --> 00:16:45.839 Come on. 250 00:16:49.635 --> 00:16:50.969 Biotine? 251 00:16:52.888 --> 00:16:54.723 How'd you get way out here? 252 00:16:55.557 --> 00:16:58.060 Well, Peter Morris, finders keepers. 253 00:17:03.982 --> 00:17:05.234 Hello? 254 00:17:10.906 --> 00:17:12.074 Hello? 255 00:17:36.515 --> 00:17:38.100 What's wrong with you? 256 00:17:38.726 --> 00:17:40.060 You A-wipe! 257 00:17:40.519 --> 00:17:42.855 C-word! All the other words! 258 00:17:44.273 --> 00:17:45.774 Oh, doodle! 259 00:17:46.066 --> 00:17:47.401 That's my lucky knife! 260 00:18:04.042 --> 00:18:06.879 Teach you to mess with Scout Leader Rogers! 261 00:18:21.226 --> 00:18:22.853 So we're just gonna walk in there like this. 262 00:18:22.936 --> 00:18:24.855 No I.D.'s, just buy some beer? 263 00:18:24.938 --> 00:18:26.440 Just give me the $20, fool. Come on. 264 00:18:27.065 --> 00:18:28.400 Cough it up. 265 00:18:29.109 --> 00:18:30.444 Any day now. Come on. 266 00:18:30.527 --> 00:18:32.279 Hang on. It's Velcro. It takes a second. 267 00:18:32.988 --> 00:18:34.406 Watch a pro. 268 00:18:38.577 --> 00:18:40.621 Hi, sir. How are you today? 269 00:18:40.704 --> 00:18:41.872 Hey, baby. 270 00:18:43.165 --> 00:18:44.833 Oh, nice. Great plan, Carter. 271 00:18:44.917 --> 00:18:47.753 Just give the money to a drunk bum. That'll work. 272 00:18:49.671 --> 00:18:50.672 Yeah! 273 00:18:50.756 --> 00:18:52.508 Just the cheap stuff. 274 00:18:59.848 --> 00:19:01.308 Did you see Officer Hottie? 275 00:19:01.391 --> 00:19:03.727 No. I was too busy watching you lose 20 bucks. 276 00:19:03.811 --> 00:19:05.354 Okay, I gave him very specific instructions. 277 00:19:05.437 --> 00:19:07.147 He's gonna buy us a couple of six packs, 278 00:19:07.231 --> 00:19:08.941 and he can keep the change. 279 00:19:09.441 --> 00:19:10.526 Jesus. 280 00:19:11.777 --> 00:19:12.778 Whoa. 281 00:19:14.363 --> 00:19:15.823 Holy shit, dude. That's her. 282 00:19:15.906 --> 00:19:17.533 What? Who? 283 00:19:17.616 --> 00:19:19.535 It's Denise What's-her-face. 284 00:19:19.618 --> 00:19:20.744 She went to our high school. 285 00:19:20.828 --> 00:19:22.162 She dropped out a couple years ago. 286 00:19:23.330 --> 00:19:24.581 Now she's a stripper. 287 00:19:24.665 --> 00:19:25.791 How do you even know that? 288 00:19:25.874 --> 00:19:27.209 She's a legend. 289 00:19:28.210 --> 00:19:31.547 What the fuck is he... Jesus Christ. 290 00:19:34.633 --> 00:19:35.884 Sir! 291 00:19:38.053 --> 00:19:40.389 I'm not paying for these items. 292 00:19:41.223 --> 00:19:42.391 Sir? 293 00:19:45.561 --> 00:19:46.895 - Shit! - Oh, uh... 294 00:19:48.063 --> 00:19:51.066 It's okay. I got it. Seriously, I got it. 295 00:19:53.902 --> 00:19:55.988 Fucking ghetto-ass bag. 296 00:19:56.071 --> 00:19:57.239 Here. 297 00:19:58.407 --> 00:20:00.409 What are you doing? 298 00:20:00.492 --> 00:20:03.120 It's a sheet bend knot. 299 00:20:03.203 --> 00:20:04.288 It's impossible to break. 300 00:20:04.371 --> 00:20:05.372 You're pretty handy. 301 00:20:06.081 --> 00:20:07.249 Thanks. 302 00:20:07.332 --> 00:20:08.333 Get out. 303 00:20:08.417 --> 00:20:09.751 - Nice legs. - Huh? 304 00:20:10.586 --> 00:20:12.337 Costume party? 305 00:20:12.421 --> 00:20:13.922 Oh, no, I'm... 306 00:20:14.339 --> 00:20:15.757 I'm a Scout. 307 00:20:15.841 --> 00:20:17.259 Like an actual Scout? 308 00:20:17.342 --> 00:20:18.677 Yeah, well. We got a campout tonight. 309 00:20:19.261 --> 00:20:22.097 So you work across the street? 310 00:20:22.180 --> 00:20:24.516 Yep. Glamorous, huh? 311 00:20:24.600 --> 00:20:26.935 Yeah. I mean, I've never been in, 312 00:20:27.019 --> 00:20:28.770 but I hear it's nice. 313 00:20:29.771 --> 00:20:30.939 It's got a good Yelp review. 314 00:20:32.274 --> 00:20:33.525 - What? - Nothing. 315 00:20:33.609 --> 00:20:34.943 You're just... You're really cute. 316 00:20:36.028 --> 00:20:37.112 Thanks. 317 00:20:38.113 --> 00:20:39.197 Come on, Carter. 318 00:20:39.281 --> 00:20:41.700 Please tell me you did not ask that guy to buy you beer. 319 00:20:41.783 --> 00:20:42.784 No, it was his idea. 320 00:20:42.868 --> 00:20:44.119 Rookies. 321 00:20:44.870 --> 00:20:45.871 Where are you... 322 00:20:45.954 --> 00:20:47.247 I need my $20 back. 323 00:20:47.331 --> 00:20:49.166 It's not all yours. 324 00:20:51.293 --> 00:20:52.628 You're dirty. Look how dirty... 325 00:20:58.133 --> 00:20:59.384 Here. 326 00:20:59.468 --> 00:21:00.844 Thank you. 327 00:21:04.890 --> 00:21:06.975 Thank you. Here. 328 00:21:07.476 --> 00:21:08.810 Oh, my God. Thank you. 329 00:21:08.894 --> 00:21:11.146 You're the most amazing person ever. Thank you. 330 00:21:11.229 --> 00:21:12.481 Yeah. Thanks. 331 00:21:12.564 --> 00:21:14.942 It's cool. And thanks for the help, Legs. 332 00:21:15.025 --> 00:21:16.026 Yeah. 333 00:21:16.985 --> 00:21:19.071 Dude, what the fuck was that? 334 00:21:19.154 --> 00:21:20.364 Oh, my God. 335 00:21:20.447 --> 00:21:23.325 I would tongue-pound her salty walrus any day of the week. 336 00:21:24.534 --> 00:21:25.577 Oh, shit. 337 00:21:25.661 --> 00:21:27.245 - He's staring at us. - Go. 338 00:21:31.333 --> 00:21:33.752 Dude, I thought you said that Kendall broke up with that Jeff guy. 339 00:21:34.086 --> 00:21:35.671 Dude, I thought so too. 340 00:21:35.754 --> 00:21:37.422 It's like, one moment, they're together 341 00:21:37.506 --> 00:21:39.925 and the next moment, they're broken up. 342 00:21:40.008 --> 00:21:41.343 So he's a dick. 343 00:21:47.349 --> 00:21:49.101 It's like no doubt... 344 00:21:49.184 --> 00:21:50.310 Hey, guys! 345 00:21:50.394 --> 00:21:51.436 Hey, what's up? 346 00:21:51.520 --> 00:21:53.855 All right. Campsite is halfway set up. 347 00:21:53.939 --> 00:21:54.940 - Nice. - Great. 348 00:21:55.023 --> 00:21:56.441 - What's up? - What's up? 349 00:21:56.525 --> 00:21:57.651 What's up? 350 00:21:57.734 --> 00:21:59.528 Oh! Too slow. Too slow, buddy. 351 00:21:59.611 --> 00:22:00.821 Where's Scout Leader Rogers? 352 00:22:00.904 --> 00:22:02.280 He was supposed to be here to help me set up, 353 00:22:02.364 --> 00:22:03.532 but so far he's a no-show. 354 00:22:04.533 --> 00:22:06.618 That's weird. He's never late. 355 00:22:06.702 --> 00:22:08.787 Yeah. Maybe he quit Scouts. 356 00:22:08.954 --> 00:22:12.290 Quit Scouts? Yeah, right. 357 00:22:12.374 --> 00:22:13.875 That's hysterical! 358 00:22:13.959 --> 00:22:15.961 Want to know what I think it is? I think it's a test. 359 00:22:16.044 --> 00:22:17.129 A test? 360 00:22:17.212 --> 00:22:19.172 Well, yeah. I'm getting my Condor Badge today. 361 00:22:19.256 --> 00:22:21.133 I have to prove that I'm ready. 362 00:22:21.550 --> 00:22:22.551 Yeah, and check this out. 363 00:22:22.634 --> 00:22:24.386 I'm charting diets for the Animal Study Badge 364 00:22:24.469 --> 00:22:25.721 and I walked right into that. 365 00:22:26.054 --> 00:22:27.639 - What is this? - It's deer scat. 366 00:22:29.057 --> 00:22:31.393 Oh, dude! What the fuck, man? 367 00:22:31.727 --> 00:22:33.145 Carter! I needed that! 368 00:22:33.228 --> 00:22:34.980 You needed that? It's shit, Augie! 369 00:22:35.063 --> 00:22:36.648 No one needs shit! 370 00:22:36.732 --> 00:22:38.400 I need it! I've been looking all week for it. 371 00:22:38.483 --> 00:22:40.444 Oh, God. It's gonna be a long night. 372 00:22:42.446 --> 00:22:44.239 Just feeding it through, in and out. 373 00:22:44.740 --> 00:22:45.741 Oh, yeah. 374 00:22:46.074 --> 00:22:47.576 There you go. 375 00:22:47.659 --> 00:22:49.828 - Good job, bud. - I did it! 376 00:23:27.282 --> 00:23:29.367 What the fuck, man? Was that your ass? 377 00:23:58.480 --> 00:24:00.857 Beans? Weenies? 378 00:24:00.941 --> 00:24:02.901 Why do we always have to eat welfare food? 379 00:24:02.984 --> 00:24:04.778 Because we're camping, Carter. What do you want? 380 00:24:04.861 --> 00:24:06.905 Something artisan. Something that doesn't make me 381 00:24:06.988 --> 00:24:08.573 fart every five seconds. 382 00:24:08.657 --> 00:24:09.991 Shut up. Quit being such a bitch. 383 00:24:11.660 --> 00:24:12.828 Augie? Augie? 384 00:24:13.161 --> 00:24:14.830 Hey, Augie! 385 00:24:14.913 --> 00:24:15.914 Use my lighter. 386 00:24:15.997 --> 00:24:18.542 I'm not gonna get my Fire Making Badge using a lighter, Carter. 387 00:24:18.625 --> 00:24:19.751 - Just use it. - No! 388 00:24:19.835 --> 00:24:21.419 - Why? - 'Cause! 389 00:24:21.503 --> 00:24:22.504 Augie. 390 00:24:23.839 --> 00:24:26.842 Augie, just use it. You can get it next time. 391 00:24:30.512 --> 00:24:33.598 What the fuck? Why the hell can't I get service? 392 00:24:33.682 --> 00:24:34.850 Carter, we're in the woods. 393 00:24:34.933 --> 00:24:36.476 I always get service up here. 394 00:24:36.560 --> 00:24:37.769 Maybe Mother Nature wants you 395 00:24:37.853 --> 00:24:40.272 to put the phone away, Carter, and be in the moment. 396 00:24:40.355 --> 00:24:42.941 Oh, is that what Mother Nature wants? 397 00:24:43.024 --> 00:24:44.693 Maybe Mother Nature wants this. 398 00:24:48.864 --> 00:24:50.615 Fucking bull's-eye, man! 399 00:24:50.699 --> 00:24:52.450 You're an asshead, Carter. 400 00:24:52.534 --> 00:24:54.828 Wait! No, no, no, no! Don't take it off. 401 00:24:54.911 --> 00:24:56.705 Here we go. Wait. Hold still. 402 00:24:56.788 --> 00:24:59.791 Hold still. Ready? Say, "marshmallow." 403 00:25:00.208 --> 00:25:02.210 Carter sucks donkey balls. 404 00:25:03.587 --> 00:25:04.629 Wow. 405 00:25:04.713 --> 00:25:06.464 That's a thing of beauty. 406 00:25:06.548 --> 00:25:08.133 You better not post that. 407 00:25:08.216 --> 00:25:10.135 I'm definitely posting that. It's my masterpiece. 408 00:25:10.802 --> 00:25:13.054 All right. BRB, guys. I got to pee. 409 00:25:17.893 --> 00:25:18.935 Barn owl? 410 00:25:19.728 --> 00:25:21.313 I think it's a spotted owl. 411 00:25:22.147 --> 00:25:23.732 Yeah, you're probably right. 412 00:25:24.357 --> 00:25:25.358 Hey. 413 00:25:25.442 --> 00:25:29.154 Guess what I found when I was hiking up here? 414 00:25:29.237 --> 00:25:31.114 I found the tree we carved our initials into. 415 00:25:31.198 --> 00:25:32.407 - No way! - Yeah. 416 00:25:32.490 --> 00:25:33.491 - Really? - Yeah. 417 00:25:33.575 --> 00:25:35.327 Wow. That was like seven years ago. 418 00:25:35.410 --> 00:25:37.662 I know. Crazy, right? 419 00:25:37.746 --> 00:25:39.539 Oh. That was the same day Carter sat on the cactus 420 00:25:39.623 --> 00:25:41.499 when he was taking a shit, right? 421 00:25:43.001 --> 00:25:45.003 And your dad had to pick out the needles. 422 00:25:46.588 --> 00:25:47.672 Yeah. 423 00:25:56.514 --> 00:25:58.767 Augie, I know we don't talk about your dad much, 424 00:26:00.435 --> 00:26:02.520 but it's okay if you want to. 425 00:26:04.522 --> 00:26:06.691 I just don't want to be a downer, you know. 426 00:26:06.775 --> 00:26:08.276 Come on, Augie, you're not being a downer. 427 00:26:08.360 --> 00:26:09.527 He was your dad. 428 00:26:09.945 --> 00:26:11.613 You can talk about him. 429 00:26:13.615 --> 00:26:14.616 Thanks, Ben. 430 00:26:15.116 --> 00:26:16.952 Yeah. Of course. 431 00:26:19.287 --> 00:26:20.288 Hey. 432 00:26:21.957 --> 00:26:22.999 Scouts forever? 433 00:26:24.626 --> 00:26:26.628 Yeah. Scouts forever. 434 00:26:41.476 --> 00:26:42.894 Ben. Hey. 435 00:26:43.186 --> 00:26:44.229 Come on, Ben. Let's go. 436 00:26:44.312 --> 00:26:45.730 Carter, I don't know about this. 437 00:26:45.814 --> 00:26:47.190 Will you stop crying about this? 438 00:26:47.274 --> 00:26:49.234 Let's go. Come on, we're doing this. 439 00:26:49.317 --> 00:26:51.569 Let's go. Come on. 440 00:26:51.653 --> 00:26:52.696 Come on. 441 00:27:41.536 --> 00:27:42.954 Are we interrupting? 442 00:27:46.374 --> 00:27:47.459 You look amazing. 443 00:27:47.542 --> 00:27:48.543 Thank you. 444 00:27:48.668 --> 00:27:49.878 Hey, have you guys seen my brother? 445 00:27:49.961 --> 00:27:51.463 He should have been here by now. 446 00:27:52.047 --> 00:27:54.299 No. I haven't seen him anywhere, no. 447 00:27:54.716 --> 00:27:56.384 But look, I'm sure he'll be here any second. Okay? 448 00:27:59.554 --> 00:28:02.057 Dude. What if Augie wakes up and we're not there? 449 00:28:02.140 --> 00:28:03.308 He's not gonna wake up. 450 00:28:03.391 --> 00:28:05.560 If Chewbacca was fucking Bigfoot in our campsite, 451 00:28:05.643 --> 00:28:07.395 he'd still be asleep. 452 00:28:07.604 --> 00:28:08.605 Whoa. 453 00:28:08.897 --> 00:28:10.732 - What is that? - What? 454 00:28:12.442 --> 00:28:14.235 Look. Look, he was here. 455 00:28:14.319 --> 00:28:16.529 Okay. So, he decided to go back home. 456 00:28:16.613 --> 00:28:17.614 He changed his mind. 457 00:28:17.697 --> 00:28:20.575 No, no, no. Scout Leader Rogers would never leave his lucky knife. 458 00:28:20.658 --> 00:28:21.910 I think something's wrong. 459 00:28:21.993 --> 00:28:24.621 Dude, what's wrong is us sitting here talking about this. 460 00:28:24.704 --> 00:28:25.955 Give me that. 461 00:28:26.664 --> 00:28:28.166 Dude, look. Look at his prints. 462 00:28:28.249 --> 00:28:30.585 His foot was dragging like he had a limp or something. 463 00:28:30.668 --> 00:28:33.254 Okay. Hurray for your mad tracking skills. 464 00:28:33.338 --> 00:28:35.507 Can we just... Can we go? Please? 465 00:28:44.307 --> 00:28:45.308 What? 466 00:28:45.392 --> 00:28:46.768 I just think something really bad happened to him. 467 00:28:46.851 --> 00:28:49.104 - Are we still talking about Rogers? - Yeah. 468 00:28:49.187 --> 00:28:51.439 Dude, he is sitting at home dressed up like Dolly Parton 469 00:28:51.523 --> 00:28:53.191 singing show tunes. Relax. 470 00:28:57.612 --> 00:28:58.947 Oh, shit. 471 00:29:01.116 --> 00:29:03.118 Augie, wait! Augie! 472 00:29:03.201 --> 00:29:04.369 Augie! 473 00:29:06.287 --> 00:29:07.497 I thought we were best friends. 474 00:29:07.580 --> 00:29:08.665 We are best friends. 475 00:29:08.748 --> 00:29:10.625 - We were coming back. - Really? 476 00:29:10.708 --> 00:29:12.168 After your party? 477 00:29:13.378 --> 00:29:14.879 You know about that? 478 00:29:14.963 --> 00:29:16.339 Everybody knows about the senior party, Carter. 479 00:29:16.423 --> 00:29:17.715 Even a loser like me. 480 00:29:17.799 --> 00:29:18.842 Augie, don't say that. 481 00:29:18.925 --> 00:29:20.218 Why not? It's what you guys think! 482 00:29:20.301 --> 00:29:21.886 We don't think you're a loser. 483 00:29:21.970 --> 00:29:23.721 Ben, just tell him. 484 00:29:23.805 --> 00:29:24.806 Carter, no. 485 00:29:24.889 --> 00:29:26.474 Yeah, tell me, Ben. 486 00:29:26.891 --> 00:29:28.726 Come on! Say it! 487 00:29:28.810 --> 00:29:30.145 We're quitting Scouts, Augie. 488 00:29:33.481 --> 00:29:36.025 Look, it was fun when we were kids. 489 00:29:37.819 --> 00:29:41.364 But we have to grow up, man. 490 00:29:42.657 --> 00:29:45.243 Augie. We're still gonna be best friends. 491 00:29:47.912 --> 00:29:49.330 Go to your party. 492 00:29:51.249 --> 00:29:52.500 Augie. 493 00:29:53.001 --> 00:29:54.127 Augie, wait! 494 00:29:55.003 --> 00:29:56.671 Augie, come on! 495 00:30:00.175 --> 00:30:01.843 Just leave him, Ben. 496 00:30:15.190 --> 00:30:17.775 What the fuck... What's wrong with the radio? 497 00:30:17.859 --> 00:30:19.110 Carter, are you seeing this? 498 00:30:19.194 --> 00:30:20.278 Seeing what? 499 00:30:20.361 --> 00:30:22.697 Look. The town's deserted. 500 00:30:24.365 --> 00:30:25.867 Everyone's probably asleep. 501 00:30:25.950 --> 00:30:27.368 On a Friday night? 502 00:30:28.286 --> 00:30:31.456 I don't know. Something just feels really weird. 503 00:30:31.539 --> 00:30:32.957 Oh, hey. Pull over right here. 504 00:30:38.046 --> 00:30:40.882 I can't wait to get out of these stupid uniforms. 505 00:30:41.466 --> 00:30:42.884 All right. Let's see here. 506 00:30:43.885 --> 00:30:46.471 We're just gonna change right here? 507 00:30:46.554 --> 00:30:47.889 Nobody's around. 508 00:30:48.723 --> 00:30:52.143 Let's see. Jeans. T-shirt. 509 00:30:52.227 --> 00:30:55.230 Condoms. Good to go. Uh... 510 00:30:55.897 --> 00:30:58.316 Forget socks? Yes, I did. 511 00:31:05.073 --> 00:31:06.824 - Holy shitballs! - What? 512 00:31:06.908 --> 00:31:08.076 Dude, look. 513 00:31:08.159 --> 00:31:09.244 What? 514 00:31:09.327 --> 00:31:10.703 The bouncer, he's gone! 515 00:31:11.412 --> 00:31:12.830 Carter, someone smashed the door. 516 00:31:12.914 --> 00:31:14.165 We should sneak in. 517 00:31:14.249 --> 00:31:16.084 - That's illegal. - Let's sneak in. Come on. Let's do it. 518 00:31:16.167 --> 00:31:17.293 Carter, we can't go in there! 519 00:31:17.377 --> 00:31:18.419 Come on! 520 00:31:18.503 --> 00:31:19.671 We can't go in there. We're minors. 521 00:31:19.754 --> 00:31:21.005 It's the chance of a lifetime. Who cares? 522 00:31:21.089 --> 00:31:22.131 What are you doing? 523 00:31:22.215 --> 00:31:23.675 It's gonna be awesome! 524 00:31:23.758 --> 00:31:25.927 Oh, my God. Wait, wait, wait. 525 00:31:27.345 --> 00:31:30.348 Okay, it's clear. Come on. Let's do it. 526 00:31:33.017 --> 00:31:34.936 Sweet Jesus. 527 00:31:35.603 --> 00:31:37.438 This is it, Ben. 528 00:31:37.522 --> 00:31:38.898 We've made it. 529 00:31:38.982 --> 00:31:40.858 We're at the epicenter of pussy. 530 00:31:42.110 --> 00:31:44.195 Oh, shit. I got to go to the ATM, get some cash. 531 00:31:44.279 --> 00:31:45.947 You find us a spot. 532 00:31:46.614 --> 00:31:50.201 Yeah. That shouldn't be too hard since there's, like, nobody here. 533 00:33:23.628 --> 00:33:25.254 - Hey! 534 00:33:25.380 --> 00:33:28.383 My friend brought me here. He's getting money. 535 00:33:30.218 --> 00:33:32.804 I have a girlfriend, sort of. 536 00:33:34.055 --> 00:33:36.057 Don't worry, Mommy, Daddy's here! 537 00:33:37.975 --> 00:33:40.311 Dude, this is fucking awesome! 538 00:33:40.395 --> 00:33:41.646 Dude, something's wrong with her. 539 00:33:41.729 --> 00:33:44.190 Look at her chest. What's all over her? 540 00:33:44.273 --> 00:33:47.235 No, no. That's makeup, dummy. It's a jungle theme. 541 00:33:48.945 --> 00:33:49.946 Oh, wow. 542 00:33:50.071 --> 00:33:51.823 This is so hot. 543 00:33:53.741 --> 00:33:54.909 Oh, my God. 544 00:33:55.576 --> 00:33:56.661 Oh, my God. 545 00:33:59.414 --> 00:34:01.165 Oh, my God! 546 00:34:06.838 --> 00:34:08.339 Run! Quick, run! 547 00:34:09.674 --> 00:34:11.759 Door, door, door, door! 548 00:35:27.668 --> 00:35:28.669 Ugh! 549 00:35:52.944 --> 00:35:54.862 Get up! Get up! Get up! 550 00:35:59.033 --> 00:36:01.285 - Carter! - Ben? Ben. 551 00:36:02.620 --> 00:36:03.871 What the fuck is going on? 552 00:36:03.955 --> 00:36:05.122 I don't know! They're trying to kill us! 553 00:36:05.206 --> 00:36:07.375 - I just wanted to see some titties! - I know! 554 00:36:07.875 --> 00:36:09.794 Wait. You're the stripper. 555 00:36:10.753 --> 00:36:12.088 Cocktail waitress. 556 00:36:28.729 --> 00:36:30.565 Scout Leader Rogers? 557 00:36:37.572 --> 00:36:39.740 Scout Leader Rogers, are you home? 558 00:36:49.750 --> 00:36:51.335 Hello? 559 00:37:11.606 --> 00:37:13.357 Holy cow. 560 00:37:18.321 --> 00:37:19.780 Calm the fuck down! 561 00:37:19.864 --> 00:37:22.033 Calm down? Are you crazy? We almost got killed in there! 562 00:37:22.116 --> 00:37:23.367 - Is that your ride? - Can you please just tell us 563 00:37:23.451 --> 00:37:24.535 what the hell is going on? 564 00:37:24.619 --> 00:37:25.953 I really need to wash up my face right now! 565 00:37:26.037 --> 00:37:27.079 Keys, now! 566 00:37:27.163 --> 00:37:28.205 No! Not until you tell us what's happening. 567 00:37:28.289 --> 00:37:29.457 Anybody got a wet nap? 568 00:37:29.582 --> 00:37:30.708 What the fuck do you think is happening? 569 00:37:30.791 --> 00:37:31.876 Everyone's eating each other! 570 00:37:31.959 --> 00:37:33.753 - Wait, like a... - Yes, like that! 571 00:37:33.836 --> 00:37:34.837 That's not possible. 572 00:37:34.921 --> 00:37:35.922 I think it's possible, Ben. 573 00:37:36.005 --> 00:37:38.716 A dead stripper just tried to eat my face! 574 00:37:38.841 --> 00:37:40.009 - Oh, shit! 575 00:37:40.551 --> 00:37:42.053 Oh, fuck. Oh, shit. 576 00:37:42.553 --> 00:37:43.888 Just shoot it! Shoot it! 577 00:37:51.896 --> 00:37:53.230 Yep. Zombie. 578 00:37:57.985 --> 00:37:59.654 Any more questions? 579 00:38:09.330 --> 00:38:10.998 Drive, dude, go! Come on! 580 00:38:13.918 --> 00:38:15.586 Where are you going? What the fuck? 581 00:38:22.343 --> 00:38:23.344 Oh, shit! 582 00:38:25.680 --> 00:38:27.515 Carter, get the tire! 583 00:38:32.728 --> 00:38:33.896 I got it. 584 00:38:33.980 --> 00:38:36.482 Guys, hurry up! They're getting pretty fucking close! 585 00:38:37.984 --> 00:38:40.152 - Come on! - I'm going as fast as I can. 586 00:38:40.236 --> 00:38:41.445 Find the fucking lug nuts. 587 00:38:44.031 --> 00:38:45.032 Fuck. 588 00:38:47.702 --> 00:38:49.453 Seriously, hurry the fuck up! 589 00:38:49.537 --> 00:38:51.205 I got them! Here. Here. 590 00:38:51.539 --> 00:38:53.040 Put it on! 591 00:38:53.374 --> 00:38:55.042 Okay. Good. Put it on! Put it on! 592 00:38:55.292 --> 00:38:56.293 Fuck! 593 00:39:02.550 --> 00:39:03.551 I got it! 594 00:39:07.722 --> 00:39:08.806 Oh, shit! 595 00:39:08.889 --> 00:39:10.891 You got to be fucking kidding me. 596 00:39:16.731 --> 00:39:17.857 Go! Go! Go! 597 00:40:53.744 --> 00:40:55.704 Scout Leader Rogers! What happened tonight? 598 00:40:55.788 --> 00:40:57.498 - We were worried about you. 599 00:40:58.916 --> 00:41:02.920 I know. It's bad. I'm so sorry. I had to use your bathroom. 600 00:41:03.003 --> 00:41:04.588 I think it was the beans. 601 00:41:05.506 --> 00:41:07.341 And the marshmallows. 602 00:41:08.676 --> 00:41:11.512 I tried spraying. It just lingers. 603 00:41:21.272 --> 00:41:22.314 - Your neck! 604 00:41:24.859 --> 00:41:26.527 Scout Leader Rogers! Please! 605 00:41:30.739 --> 00:41:33.033 I think you're having a bad allergic reaction to something! 606 00:41:33.117 --> 00:41:35.327 We need to get you to a doctor! 607 00:43:11.632 --> 00:43:13.676 "All evacuation buses have departed. 608 00:43:13.759 --> 00:43:15.094 "Proceed north on Route 1 609 00:43:15.177 --> 00:43:17.554 "to the security checkpoint at mile marker 17." 610 00:43:17.638 --> 00:43:19.974 Oh, shit. They evacuated the town. 611 00:43:20.057 --> 00:43:21.058 That's great. 612 00:43:21.141 --> 00:43:22.685 I missed the party, and I missed Chloe, 613 00:43:22.768 --> 00:43:24.895 - and now I'm gonna die. - Guys. 614 00:43:24.979 --> 00:43:26.063 Carter, calm down! We need to figure out 615 00:43:26.146 --> 00:43:27.690 - what we're gonna do. - Guys! 616 00:43:33.988 --> 00:43:35.072 Come on. 617 00:43:38.325 --> 00:43:39.827 Go, go, go! 618 00:43:39.910 --> 00:43:41.578 - Carter, lock it! - I'm trying to fuckin' lock it, man! 619 00:43:41.662 --> 00:43:42.663 It's not working. 620 00:43:45.499 --> 00:43:47.418 - Come on! - I'm trying! 621 00:43:47.501 --> 00:43:48.669 Move! 622 00:43:50.754 --> 00:43:51.755 Come on! 623 00:44:07.604 --> 00:44:09.106 Carter, get the ax! 624 00:44:27.624 --> 00:44:29.001 Go, go, go. 625 00:44:33.213 --> 00:44:34.882 They're coming! 626 00:44:50.397 --> 00:44:51.398 This way! 627 00:44:52.649 --> 00:44:53.817 Fuck! 628 00:45:07.247 --> 00:45:09.750 This is fucking awesome! Now what? 629 00:45:14.671 --> 00:45:18.008 I'm really sorry I set you on fire, Scout Leader Rogers. 630 00:45:18.092 --> 00:45:19.593 But hopefully, it's not as bad as it looks. 631 00:45:22.763 --> 00:45:24.431 I used a double overhand stopper knot. 632 00:45:25.641 --> 00:45:27.601 It's hard to get out of, right? 633 00:45:28.143 --> 00:45:29.144 Oh! 634 00:45:29.937 --> 00:45:31.688 Okay. All right. 635 00:45:35.943 --> 00:45:38.946 Okay, now. I'll be right back. 636 00:45:39.613 --> 00:45:41.031 Just stay there. 637 00:46:10.269 --> 00:46:11.728 Dude, what the fuck? 638 00:46:12.312 --> 00:46:14.064 Haven't you had enough to eat? Jesus. 639 00:46:15.107 --> 00:46:16.567 Carter, stop agitating them. 640 00:46:16.650 --> 00:46:18.110 What? I need a new profile pic. 641 00:46:21.947 --> 00:46:24.533 So, do you think they evacuated everyone at the party? 642 00:46:24.616 --> 00:46:26.034 Yeah, of course. They had to. 643 00:46:27.244 --> 00:46:29.121 At least we know our parents are okay. 644 00:46:29.204 --> 00:46:30.873 - Yeah. - Where are they? 645 00:46:30.956 --> 00:46:33.625 They went to some lame spiritual yoga retreat. 646 00:46:33.709 --> 00:46:35.544 Ugh. I think I'd rather be in here. 647 00:46:41.425 --> 00:46:42.968 I hope Augie's okay. 648 00:46:43.051 --> 00:46:45.304 - Who's Augie? - He's our best friend. 649 00:46:45.387 --> 00:46:47.055 Well, ex-best friend now. 650 00:46:47.473 --> 00:46:48.515 Why ex? 651 00:46:48.599 --> 00:46:50.225 Because we ditched him for a party. 652 00:46:50.309 --> 00:46:51.810 Ben, we were gonna go back. 653 00:46:51.894 --> 00:46:53.937 Whatever, Carter. We ditched him. We're bad friends. 654 00:46:54.021 --> 00:46:56.190 Why didn't you guys just take him with you? 655 00:46:57.983 --> 00:46:59.735 You don't know Augie. 656 00:46:59.818 --> 00:47:01.570 - What? - He's just different. 657 00:47:01.653 --> 00:47:02.738 Big geek? 658 00:47:02.821 --> 00:47:04.907 He collects deer shit and weaves baskets. 659 00:47:04.990 --> 00:47:06.283 Okay? You do the math. 660 00:47:07.159 --> 00:47:08.243 Okay. 661 00:47:08.327 --> 00:47:09.453 Word of advice, 662 00:47:09.536 --> 00:47:11.497 chasing parties and popularity in high school? 663 00:47:11.580 --> 00:47:12.789 It's a total dead end. 664 00:47:12.873 --> 00:47:14.333 None of that shit will matter later. 665 00:47:14.416 --> 00:47:16.084 Trust me. I know. 666 00:47:16.168 --> 00:47:18.253 You're right, but didn't you, like, drop out of high school? 667 00:47:18.378 --> 00:47:20.088 - No, I got my GED. - Why? 668 00:47:20.214 --> 00:47:22.424 'Cause not everybody has a lily-white life like you do. 669 00:47:22.508 --> 00:47:24.301 Okay. God, you're so hostile. 670 00:47:24.384 --> 00:47:27.012 No, hostile is three seconds from now when my foot's up your ass. 671 00:47:27.095 --> 00:47:28.514 Okay, yeah. Try all you want, 672 00:47:28.597 --> 00:47:29.890 but I happen to have a very tight asshole. 673 00:47:29.973 --> 00:47:31.475 I think I could stretch it out for you. 674 00:47:31.558 --> 00:47:33.018 Oh, well, then lube me up, baby. 675 00:47:33.101 --> 00:47:35.771 Carter! We're gonna play the quiet game now, okay? 676 00:47:37.064 --> 00:47:38.941 All right, you know what? Fine. 677 00:47:39.608 --> 00:47:41.276 I'm over both of you. 678 00:47:50.577 --> 00:47:52.412 You're pretty good at that. 679 00:47:52.496 --> 00:47:54.998 Yeah, I guess that Whittling Badge finally paid off. 680 00:47:59.127 --> 00:48:00.379 What about you? 681 00:48:00.462 --> 00:48:01.672 What about me? 682 00:48:01.755 --> 00:48:04.091 How'd you learn to use a shotgun like that? 683 00:48:05.259 --> 00:48:08.345 My ex-boyfriend was really into guns. 684 00:48:08.428 --> 00:48:11.265 He used to drag me to the firing range once a week. 685 00:48:11.348 --> 00:48:12.349 Oh. 686 00:48:12.766 --> 00:48:15.435 So, no boyfriend now? 687 00:48:15.519 --> 00:48:16.853 Not if I can help it. 688 00:48:17.813 --> 00:48:19.356 Well, why do you say that? 689 00:48:19.439 --> 00:48:20.983 I don't know. 690 00:48:21.316 --> 00:48:23.610 Let's just say, I have really shitty taste in guys. 691 00:48:23.944 --> 00:48:26.029 I'm better off alone. 692 00:48:26.113 --> 00:48:27.990 Nobody's better off alone. 693 00:48:28.073 --> 00:48:29.449 Yeah, well, I am. 694 00:48:31.159 --> 00:48:32.828 Aww, what a beautiful moment. 695 00:48:33.787 --> 00:48:35.414 Ow! Asshole, that hurt! 696 00:48:35.497 --> 00:48:37.374 - Yeah, that was the point! - Oh, was that the point? 697 00:48:37.457 --> 00:48:38.667 - Guys! Shh! 698 00:48:39.042 --> 00:48:40.252 Do you hear that? 699 00:48:40.335 --> 00:48:41.545 Is that Crank That? 700 00:48:43.714 --> 00:48:45.048 They're leaving. 701 00:48:45.340 --> 00:48:46.383 I love this song! 702 00:48:46.466 --> 00:48:47.509 You would. 703 00:48:58.645 --> 00:48:59.855 Look! Right there. 704 00:48:59.980 --> 00:49:00.939 Fuck. But they're gonna come back. 705 00:49:01.023 --> 00:49:02.065 What are we gonna do? 706 00:49:02.149 --> 00:49:03.525 - Condoms! - What? 707 00:49:03.650 --> 00:49:06.194 Carter, give me your condoms! Hurry! 708 00:49:08.238 --> 00:49:10.324 Here. Take them and open them and tie them together. 709 00:49:10.407 --> 00:49:11.408 Why are we doing this? 710 00:49:11.491 --> 00:49:12.618 - Just do it! - Okay, okay. 711 00:49:12.701 --> 00:49:13.869 Here's one. 712 00:49:13.994 --> 00:49:15.329 Come on, hurry! 713 00:49:40.270 --> 00:49:42.522 Here we go. Fly fishing. It's genius. 714 00:49:43.690 --> 00:49:46.777 Go on, just a little bit. Get it right up there. 715 00:49:46.860 --> 00:49:48.862 There you go. Come on. 716 00:49:48.945 --> 00:49:49.988 It's right up there! 717 00:49:51.740 --> 00:49:53.575 You got it, come on. 718 00:49:55.869 --> 00:49:58.038 Good work. Yes! Yes! 719 00:49:58.914 --> 00:49:59.915 No, no, no! 720 00:50:01.875 --> 00:50:02.918 Jesus! 721 00:50:03.001 --> 00:50:03.960 You got arrested? 722 00:50:04.044 --> 00:50:05.170 No, we locked ourselves in. 723 00:50:05.253 --> 00:50:06.505 - How? - It was an accident! 724 00:50:06.588 --> 00:50:07.964 This has to be Augie. 725 00:50:08.048 --> 00:50:09.091 Augie, get the keys. 726 00:50:09.216 --> 00:50:10.425 You kicked them into the drainpipe over there. 727 00:50:12.219 --> 00:50:13.637 - I can't reach it! - Shit! 728 00:50:13.720 --> 00:50:14.846 Shit, they're coming back. 729 00:50:14.930 --> 00:50:16.056 Hold on. 730 00:50:17.182 --> 00:50:19.184 What, is there a Lockpicking Badge I'm unaware of? 731 00:50:19.893 --> 00:50:20.894 How'd you find us? 732 00:50:21.019 --> 00:50:22.229 Followed the stench of betrayal. 733 00:50:22.354 --> 00:50:23.355 Augie... 734 00:50:23.438 --> 00:50:25.691 I saw your car. I figured I'd help. 735 00:50:25.774 --> 00:50:27.442 - Augie, look, I'm really... - Got it! 736 00:50:36.118 --> 00:50:38.453 Go, go, go! 737 00:50:43.750 --> 00:50:44.918 Close the gate! 738 00:50:53.135 --> 00:50:54.803 Oh... 739 00:50:56.805 --> 00:50:58.473 ...my... 740 00:51:00.308 --> 00:51:02.978 ...God. 741 00:51:03.437 --> 00:51:04.438 Carter, let's go! 742 00:51:06.606 --> 00:51:08.442 - Come on! - Okay! 743 00:51:09.818 --> 00:51:12.237 Oh, God. I touched them! I touched them! 744 00:51:12.320 --> 00:51:13.822 I don't think they were real. 745 00:51:18.326 --> 00:51:20.579 Fuck, my feet are killing me. 746 00:51:20.662 --> 00:51:23.081 The security checkpoint's only a few miles away. 747 00:51:23.165 --> 00:51:25.709 Dude, I'm starving. 748 00:51:25.792 --> 00:51:29.379 How can you even think of food when people are being eaten alive? 749 00:51:29.463 --> 00:51:32.215 You know, they say that humans taste like pork. 750 00:51:32.299 --> 00:51:33.717 "They"? 751 00:51:33.800 --> 00:51:34.760 Cannibals, I guess. 752 00:51:34.843 --> 00:51:36.261 Dude, I love bacon. 753 00:51:36.344 --> 00:51:37.596 Hey, look. 754 00:51:37.679 --> 00:51:39.473 Maybe the keys are inside. 755 00:51:46.646 --> 00:51:47.814 Jesus! This guy again? 756 00:51:47.898 --> 00:51:49.441 Someone kill him! 757 00:51:49.524 --> 00:51:52.068 Carter, we can't just keep going around killing people. 758 00:51:52.152 --> 00:51:53.236 Why not? 759 00:51:53.320 --> 00:51:54.321 Because he's a human being! 760 00:51:54.446 --> 00:51:55.530 Okay. We'll see how you feel 761 00:51:55.655 --> 00:51:57.532 when he's eating your nutsack like a street taco. 762 00:51:58.950 --> 00:52:01.203 Um, guys, he's getting pretty close. 763 00:52:01.286 --> 00:52:02.746 Remember our Wilderness Safety Seminar? 764 00:52:02.829 --> 00:52:03.789 What? 765 00:52:03.872 --> 00:52:06.082 When encountering a hostile creature, be sure to assert yourself 766 00:52:06.166 --> 00:52:07.751 in order to keep the animal at bay. 767 00:52:07.834 --> 00:52:09.127 Well, I... 768 00:52:10.545 --> 00:52:12.881 That is a zombie, not a bear, dumbass. 769 00:52:26.853 --> 00:52:27.938 Guys, I think he's mimicking me. 770 00:52:28.021 --> 00:52:29.356 Augie, quit messing around. 771 00:52:34.402 --> 00:52:35.487 Augie. 772 00:52:49.042 --> 00:52:50.043 What? 773 00:52:52.629 --> 00:52:53.922 Augie, what are you doing? 774 00:53:05.851 --> 00:53:07.060 What are you doing? 775 00:53:22.033 --> 00:53:23.493 Okay. Did I just drop acid, 776 00:53:23.577 --> 00:53:26.079 or are they really singing Britney Spears with a zombie? 777 00:53:44.681 --> 00:53:45.932 Is that all of you? 778 00:53:46.016 --> 00:53:47.517 Yeah. What the hell's happening? 779 00:53:47.601 --> 00:53:50.020 Don't know yet. Some kind of viral outbreak. 780 00:53:50.103 --> 00:53:52.439 CDC ordered a military containment perimeter. 781 00:53:52.522 --> 00:53:53.648 Is most of the town evacuated? 782 00:53:53.732 --> 00:53:55.025 As many as we could. 783 00:53:55.108 --> 00:53:57.777 This thing hit so hard and fast, we're still trying to contain it. 784 00:53:57.903 --> 00:53:59.779 What about everyone at the party? Were they evacuated? 785 00:54:00.614 --> 00:54:01.781 What party? 786 00:54:43.823 --> 00:54:46.076 Well, where is everybody? 787 00:54:46.159 --> 00:54:48.828 Nobody's here. It must be a mistake. 788 00:54:49.663 --> 00:54:52.082 Yeah, 1146 Dunton Avenue. This is it. 789 00:54:52.165 --> 00:54:55.251 It's not a mistake, Carter. Jeff sent you a fake address. 790 00:54:55.335 --> 00:54:56.503 What? 791 00:54:56.586 --> 00:54:58.171 Carter, this is a waste plant. 792 00:54:58.254 --> 00:55:00.256 You get it? It's full of shit. 793 00:55:01.758 --> 00:55:03.969 Motherfucker! God damn it! 794 00:55:04.302 --> 00:55:06.721 I can't believe he sent us a fucking fake address! 795 00:55:06.805 --> 00:55:07.889 Why does it surprise you? 796 00:55:07.973 --> 00:55:10.600 I mean, did you actually think he was gonna invite us to a real party? 797 00:55:11.518 --> 00:55:12.686 Karma. 798 00:55:13.186 --> 00:55:14.270 What? 799 00:55:14.354 --> 00:55:16.022 - Nothing. - No, speak up. 800 00:55:16.147 --> 00:55:17.732 Well, I just think it's a little ironic 801 00:55:17.816 --> 00:55:20.694 that, you know, you're all upset now because you got ditched. 802 00:55:20.860 --> 00:55:23.446 Oh, okay. So you're saying that we deserve it. 803 00:55:23.530 --> 00:55:25.156 We went to your stupid campout, dude. 804 00:55:25.240 --> 00:55:26.783 You lied to me. 805 00:55:26.866 --> 00:55:28.743 We've been lying to you for the past three years! 806 00:55:28.827 --> 00:55:30.328 - Carter! - Going to every Scout meeting, 807 00:55:30.412 --> 00:55:31.621 every lame field trip. 808 00:55:31.705 --> 00:55:32.956 Wearing these stupid fucking clothes 809 00:55:33.039 --> 00:55:34.124 so everybody can make fun of us. 810 00:55:34.207 --> 00:55:35.208 Carter, that's enough! 811 00:55:35.333 --> 00:55:37.002 Ben, you're not hiding behind me this time. 812 00:55:37.085 --> 00:55:38.128 Tell him. 813 00:55:38.211 --> 00:55:39.337 Talk about how many times 814 00:55:39.421 --> 00:55:41.423 you said you hated Scouts, how sick of it you were. 815 00:55:41.506 --> 00:55:43.299 - I never said that. - Bullshit! 816 00:55:43.383 --> 00:55:44.467 No, no, no. It's fine. 817 00:55:44.551 --> 00:55:46.511 I guess it's time for it to all come out, right? 818 00:55:47.178 --> 00:55:49.389 He's had a crush on Kendall since sixth grade. 819 00:55:49.514 --> 00:55:50.890 - That is not true! - Yes, it is. 820 00:55:51.016 --> 00:55:53.059 - Kendall? As in my sister Kendall? - Mmm-hmm. 821 00:55:53.184 --> 00:55:54.602 - No. - Dude, that's like incest. 822 00:55:54.686 --> 00:55:55.854 No, it's not, I'm not even related to her. 823 00:55:55.937 --> 00:55:56.980 So you do like her, then. 824 00:55:57.063 --> 00:55:58.523 - No, I don't like her! - Told you. 825 00:55:58.606 --> 00:55:59.733 Shut up! 826 00:56:00.108 --> 00:56:01.109 Stop! 827 00:56:01.860 --> 00:56:04.320 Again with this shit? Jesus. 828 00:56:04.404 --> 00:56:05.905 Can't you just walkie someone? 829 00:56:07.699 --> 00:56:09.409 Hey, are you okay? 830 00:56:11.369 --> 00:56:13.121 Guys! 831 00:56:13.204 --> 00:56:14.914 Shit! 832 00:56:17.000 --> 00:56:18.168 Get him! 833 00:56:21.588 --> 00:56:26.092 I'm so fucking sick of zombies! 834 00:56:27.761 --> 00:56:28.845 Yikes. 835 00:56:28.928 --> 00:56:29.929 Wa-wa-wee-wa. 836 00:56:35.060 --> 00:56:36.144 Shit! 837 00:56:40.565 --> 00:56:41.983 Hello! Is anybody there? 838 00:56:42.067 --> 00:56:43.443 Evac complete. 839 00:56:43.777 --> 00:56:44.903 No, no, no, no. We're still here! 840 00:56:44.986 --> 00:56:46.279 We have Operation Clean Up. 841 00:56:46.946 --> 00:56:50.283 Commence aerial bombing of site at 0300. Repeat, 0300. Over. 842 00:56:50.366 --> 00:56:51.576 What? 843 00:56:51.659 --> 00:56:53.912 No, somebody help! Hello! Hello! 844 00:56:53.995 --> 00:56:56.206 Somebody help, please! Hello! 845 00:56:56.289 --> 00:56:57.373 Fuck! 846 00:56:57.457 --> 00:56:59.209 They're gonna bomb the town in two hours? 847 00:56:59.292 --> 00:57:00.335 What are we gonna do? 848 00:57:00.418 --> 00:57:01.544 We have to find Kendall and the others! 849 00:57:01.628 --> 00:57:03.171 It's a secret party. They could be anywhere. 850 00:57:03.338 --> 00:57:04.339 Shit. 851 00:57:05.090 --> 00:57:06.257 My sister's diary! 852 00:57:06.633 --> 00:57:09.385 She writes every last boring detail of her life in there. 853 00:57:09.469 --> 00:57:12.388 I guarantee she wrote down where the party is. 854 00:57:12.472 --> 00:57:13.973 We better get fucking going, then. 855 00:57:39.833 --> 00:57:40.834 Okay, now. 856 00:58:14.325 --> 00:58:15.702 All right, come on. 857 00:58:26.212 --> 00:58:28.798 Whew! It smells like Pixy Stix and hope in here. 858 00:58:29.048 --> 00:58:31.551 You've never been in a girl's room before, have you? 859 00:58:31.676 --> 00:58:33.761 - Yeah, I... - Mom doesn't count. 860 00:58:33.845 --> 00:58:35.138 - Well... - Any female relative doesn't count. 861 00:58:35.221 --> 00:58:37.682 Guys! Can we focus? Where's the diary? 862 00:58:38.141 --> 00:58:40.059 She changes the hiding place, like, every week, 863 00:58:40.185 --> 00:58:41.728 so just spread out and start looking. 864 00:58:59.329 --> 00:59:00.830 - Did you find it? - Nope. 865 00:59:01.372 --> 00:59:03.082 Nothing over here. 866 00:59:16.846 --> 00:59:17.847 Hey. 867 00:59:18.264 --> 00:59:19.349 Did you guys hear that? 868 00:59:19.432 --> 00:59:20.433 Hear what? 869 00:59:21.893 --> 00:59:23.895 I think I heard something downstairs. 870 00:59:24.938 --> 00:59:26.272 Augie, go check it out. 871 00:59:26.356 --> 00:59:27.857 I'm not going down there by myself. 872 00:59:27.941 --> 00:59:29.400 - Go with him. - Why me? 873 00:59:29.484 --> 00:59:31.402 Call me when your balls drop, dude. 874 00:59:37.408 --> 00:59:39.202 Shh! Don't walk so hard. 875 00:59:39.285 --> 00:59:41.454 You have squeaky floors. 876 00:59:43.539 --> 00:59:45.291 This is Carter's sister? 877 00:59:46.960 --> 00:59:48.294 Yeah. That's Kendall. 878 00:59:49.295 --> 00:59:51.297 Well, she clearly won the genetic lottery. 879 00:59:51.631 --> 00:59:54.342 Yeah. She's okay. I guess. 880 00:59:54.425 --> 00:59:55.718 Dude, she's more than okay. 881 00:59:55.802 --> 00:59:57.470 You don't have to be all cool about it. 882 00:59:59.097 --> 01:00:00.431 Shit. 883 01:00:02.475 --> 01:00:04.143 Fuck. Come on. 884 01:00:05.895 --> 01:00:07.897 So, how come you haven't told her you like her? 885 01:00:07.981 --> 01:00:09.315 What's the point? 886 01:00:09.399 --> 01:00:11.401 She's never gonna go for a guy like me. 887 01:00:11.484 --> 01:00:13.069 And she's got a boyfriend. 888 01:00:13.152 --> 01:00:15.905 And Carter would kill me if I touched his sister. 889 01:00:15.989 --> 01:00:18.199 Okay, look. Here's the deal. 890 01:00:18.283 --> 01:00:21.077 And don't take this the wrong way, 891 01:00:21.160 --> 01:00:23.371 but you have to man up. 892 01:00:23.454 --> 01:00:25.331 Yeah, but I suck at being that guy. 893 01:00:25.415 --> 01:00:27.041 I'm not assertive like that. 894 01:00:27.125 --> 01:00:28.126 Kiss me. 895 01:00:28.584 --> 01:00:29.585 What? 896 01:00:29.669 --> 01:00:31.087 Don't "what" me, just do it. Kiss me. 897 01:00:32.088 --> 01:00:33.172 Are you serious? 898 01:00:33.256 --> 01:00:34.841 Yeah, I'm serious. I saw you checking out my ass earlier. 899 01:00:34.966 --> 01:00:36.175 I know you want to do it. Just kiss me. 900 01:00:36.301 --> 01:00:37.343 - No, I wasn't. - Ben! 901 01:00:37.468 --> 01:00:39.262 - Okay, for a second I did. - Kiss me. 902 01:00:40.346 --> 01:00:41.431 Denise, I... 903 01:00:41.514 --> 01:00:43.016 You can do it. Just go for it. 904 01:00:45.852 --> 01:00:47.103 - I'm sorry! I'm sorry! - Oh, fuck! Fuck. 905 01:00:47.186 --> 01:00:48.771 - I'm so sorry. Are you okay? - I'm fine. 906 01:00:48.855 --> 01:00:49.856 See? I told you we shouldn't have done that. 907 01:00:49.939 --> 01:00:50.940 It was a bad idea. 908 01:00:51.024 --> 01:00:52.358 No, no, no. Let's just try it again. 909 01:00:52.442 --> 01:00:54.610 No, I feel stupid. We should look for the diary. 910 01:00:54.694 --> 01:00:55.862 Come here. 911 01:01:09.000 --> 01:01:10.001 Not bad. 912 01:01:10.793 --> 01:01:11.794 Really? 913 01:01:11.878 --> 01:01:14.297 It wasn't, like, top five or anything. Don't get excited. 914 01:01:14.380 --> 01:01:16.257 - But, yeah, it was okay. - Oh. 915 01:01:16.341 --> 01:01:19.052 When you see Kendall, just walk straight up to her, 916 01:01:19.135 --> 01:01:20.303 lay some of that shit on her, 917 01:01:20.386 --> 01:01:21.888 and you're golden. 918 01:01:22.680 --> 01:01:24.515 Okay. Thanks. 919 01:01:29.896 --> 01:01:31.481 Guess we left it open. 920 01:01:32.482 --> 01:01:33.483 Hey, Augie. 921 01:01:37.236 --> 01:01:39.072 Ben didn't want to leave you tonight. 922 01:01:41.282 --> 01:01:43.076 It was my idea. 923 01:01:44.077 --> 01:01:45.661 What difference does it make? 924 01:01:45.745 --> 01:01:47.080 It's done. 925 01:01:51.667 --> 01:01:52.835 Yeah. 926 01:02:01.010 --> 01:02:02.011 Oh, fuck! 927 01:02:13.523 --> 01:02:14.607 Come on. 928 01:02:14.690 --> 01:02:16.442 What the hell is going on down there? 929 01:02:16.526 --> 01:02:18.778 We're fine! Everything's under control! 930 01:02:41.884 --> 01:02:45.388 No! No, no, no, no. Fucking, no! Not my ass! 931 01:02:47.181 --> 01:02:48.558 Oh, no, no, no, no! 932 01:02:51.644 --> 01:02:53.980 My ass! My ass! 933 01:02:54.063 --> 01:02:56.315 She's gumming my ass! 934 01:02:56.399 --> 01:02:57.817 Oh, my God! 935 01:02:57.900 --> 01:02:58.901 Carter! 936 01:02:59.235 --> 01:03:01.904 Oh, God! Oh, it's disgusting! 937 01:03:08.077 --> 01:03:09.662 Carter! 938 01:03:11.789 --> 01:03:13.166 Peace out, bitch! 939 01:03:17.086 --> 01:03:18.671 What the hell happened? 940 01:03:20.339 --> 01:03:22.758 Shit. Back upstairs! Back upstairs! 941 01:03:30.308 --> 01:03:31.601 Come on, come on! 942 01:03:31.684 --> 01:03:33.269 Move it! 943 01:03:34.353 --> 01:03:35.730 That's not gonna hold them! 944 01:03:35.813 --> 01:03:37.565 - Did you find the journal? - No! We looked everywhere! 945 01:03:37.648 --> 01:03:39.025 Guys, we got to go! Come on! 946 01:03:54.207 --> 01:03:55.958 Oh, my God! They're coming! 947 01:03:57.710 --> 01:03:59.754 Guys, if we jump, we might be able to clear the fence! 948 01:03:59.837 --> 01:04:01.547 - What? - Fuck it, let's just jump! 949 01:04:01.631 --> 01:04:03.174 The fence is like 10 feet away! 950 01:04:03.674 --> 01:04:05.801 - I'll go first! - Go, go! 951 01:04:11.724 --> 01:04:12.850 Okay. Go, go, go! 952 01:04:19.815 --> 01:04:21.567 Augie, you got to go now! 953 01:04:22.860 --> 01:04:23.861 Hurry! 954 01:04:23.945 --> 01:04:24.987 I can't, I'm afraid of heights! 955 01:04:25.071 --> 01:04:26.656 Be more afraid of zombies! Go! 956 01:05:07.697 --> 01:05:09.448 Is that his wiener? 957 01:05:11.033 --> 01:05:12.076 We got to do something. 958 01:05:12.535 --> 01:05:14.370 Guys, help me! I'm falling! 959 01:05:14.453 --> 01:05:16.372 Hang on to that cock, Ben! 960 01:05:16.789 --> 01:05:18.708 Guys, hurry! Help me! 961 01:05:20.376 --> 01:05:22.211 What are you doing? 962 01:05:23.212 --> 01:05:25.548 Hey! Assholes! Come and get me. 963 01:05:30.052 --> 01:05:31.387 Hurry! 964 01:05:32.722 --> 01:05:33.723 It's ripping! 965 01:05:37.226 --> 01:05:39.395 His dick's ripping! 966 01:05:58.039 --> 01:05:59.248 - I got it! - Dude! 967 01:06:02.293 --> 01:06:03.544 - I got it. - Where was it? 968 01:06:03.628 --> 01:06:05.004 - Underwear drawer. - Classic. 969 01:06:06.047 --> 01:06:07.214 Run! 970 01:06:11.761 --> 01:06:13.095 Lock it. 971 01:06:13.429 --> 01:06:15.014 Augie, get the lights. 972 01:06:16.098 --> 01:06:17.600 The power's out. 973 01:06:18.184 --> 01:06:19.852 Where the hell are we? 974 01:06:21.270 --> 01:06:22.605 Mrs. Fielder's house. 975 01:06:22.855 --> 01:06:24.565 I can't believe we just chopped her head off. 976 01:06:24.649 --> 01:06:27.109 She tried to eat my ass, Augie. She deserved it. 977 01:06:27.193 --> 01:06:29.362 Guys, we got to keep moving. Come on. 978 01:06:43.959 --> 01:06:45.336 Carter, check the window. 979 01:06:49.382 --> 01:06:51.175 Shit, they're everywhere. 980 01:06:51.258 --> 01:06:52.760 Miss Fielder's car is in the garage. 981 01:06:52.843 --> 01:06:54.887 Maybe we can get out that way. This way. 982 01:07:10.486 --> 01:07:11.612 What was that? 983 01:07:11.696 --> 01:07:13.239 I think something's in here. 984 01:07:15.074 --> 01:07:16.075 Fuck, cat. 985 01:07:23.249 --> 01:07:24.250 Augie? 986 01:07:24.333 --> 01:07:25.626 Dude, dude. 987 01:07:25.710 --> 01:07:27.461 - Augie. - What? 988 01:07:27.545 --> 01:07:29.463 Don't move. 989 01:07:40.766 --> 01:07:43.185 - Did you get it? - I got it! I got it! 990 01:07:48.524 --> 01:07:49.900 Run! 991 01:07:55.948 --> 01:07:58.284 Come on, come on, come on! 992 01:07:59.034 --> 01:08:00.369 Open the garage door! 993 01:08:00.453 --> 01:08:01.704 It won't open! 994 01:08:02.037 --> 01:08:03.205 Go! Ben, go! 995 01:08:03.372 --> 01:08:04.498 Fuck it! 996 01:08:15.551 --> 01:08:17.344 Oh, my God. It's Scout Leader Rogers! 997 01:08:18.721 --> 01:08:19.930 He looks like shit! 998 01:08:20.014 --> 01:08:21.223 I set him on fire. 999 01:08:21.599 --> 01:08:23.309 - What? - He tried to eat me! 1000 01:08:28.063 --> 01:08:29.982 - Wait, what are you doing? - No, don't... 1001 01:08:38.407 --> 01:08:39.825 Sorry, bro! 1002 01:08:57.301 --> 01:08:59.720 All right, the diary said they're at the old rec center on Dewer Street. 1003 01:08:59.804 --> 01:09:01.347 Hopefully, we're not too late. 1004 01:09:01.430 --> 01:09:03.349 All right, I'll try to get help as soon as I can. 1005 01:09:03.432 --> 01:09:05.017 Just be careful. 1006 01:09:12.942 --> 01:09:14.819 - Denise. - Yeah? 1007 01:09:15.694 --> 01:09:17.947 Look, I don't know what's gonna happen, 1008 01:09:18.948 --> 01:09:20.324 but I just wanted to let you know that 1009 01:09:20.407 --> 01:09:21.867 you're one of the coolest girls I've ever met. 1010 01:09:26.121 --> 01:09:28.374 And, uh, I hope you meet someone that deserves you. 1011 01:09:29.959 --> 01:09:30.960 Thanks. 1012 01:10:00.489 --> 01:10:02.408 Guys, let's go. We got to get to the party. 1013 01:10:02.491 --> 01:10:04.869 Ben, this is a suicide mission. 1014 01:10:04.952 --> 01:10:06.662 Guys, they're gonna bomb this whole town 1015 01:10:06.745 --> 01:10:07.830 in less than two hours. 1016 01:10:07.913 --> 01:10:09.832 What if Denise reaches the military in time? 1017 01:10:09.915 --> 01:10:11.709 And what if she doesn't, Carter? Then what? 1018 01:10:11.792 --> 01:10:14.253 Who's gonna save them? The police? They're gone. 1019 01:10:14.336 --> 01:10:17.339 The military? They're not coming, either. 1020 01:10:18.007 --> 01:10:20.342 Guys, we're the last line of defense. 1021 01:10:21.886 --> 01:10:24.346 And so what? Maybe we look like dorks in these uniforms. 1022 01:10:24.430 --> 01:10:27.391 And maybe we're a big joke to everyone at school. 1023 01:10:29.184 --> 01:10:31.186 But tonight, 1024 01:10:31.270 --> 01:10:33.355 we're gonna show them what being a real Scout's all about. 1025 01:10:34.440 --> 01:10:38.569 So, are we just gonna stand here with our thumbs up our asses? 1026 01:10:39.194 --> 01:10:41.780 Or are we gonna go out there and save the world? 1027 01:10:43.115 --> 01:10:44.366 Fuck, yeah, dude. 1028 01:10:45.701 --> 01:10:47.202 That was a really good speech, Ben. 1029 01:10:47.953 --> 01:10:49.038 Thanks, Augie. 1030 01:10:49.121 --> 01:10:50.456 Let's do it. 1031 01:10:53.459 --> 01:10:55.210 The rec center's that way. 1032 01:10:56.879 --> 01:10:58.881 We're making a pit stop first. 1033 01:12:11.120 --> 01:12:12.871 Are you serious? 1034 01:12:13.914 --> 01:12:17.209 None of my text messages are going through, Travis. 1035 01:12:17.292 --> 01:12:18.794 Don't worry about that, baby. 1036 01:12:18.877 --> 01:12:20.629 Where are you taking me? 1037 01:12:21.505 --> 01:12:23.382 - Um, it's a surprise. 1038 01:12:23.465 --> 01:12:25.384 - You need a little spanking, don't you? 1039 01:12:27.219 --> 01:12:28.220 Ew. 1040 01:12:28.637 --> 01:12:30.305 Travis, what the fuck? 1041 01:12:30.639 --> 01:12:31.640 Come on. 1042 01:12:32.057 --> 01:12:34.143 Okay, this place is disgusting. 1043 01:12:35.394 --> 01:12:36.979 I need to examine you. 1044 01:12:37.062 --> 01:12:38.564 - Get over here. - Oh, okay. 1045 01:12:41.483 --> 01:12:43.485 God, you're so sexy. 1046 01:12:43.819 --> 01:12:44.987 Thank you. 1047 01:12:46.822 --> 01:12:48.991 Okay, we're not about to fuck right now. 1048 01:12:49.074 --> 01:12:50.325 Why not? 1049 01:12:50.909 --> 01:12:53.412 Because we've only been dating for, like, two minutes. 1050 01:12:53.495 --> 01:12:54.496 What about a blow job? 1051 01:12:54.580 --> 01:12:57.166 Travis, I spent an hour trying to find this piece of gum. 1052 01:12:58.167 --> 01:12:59.501 Sucks. 1053 01:13:01.670 --> 01:13:04.089 Okay, fine. You can eat me out. 1054 01:13:04.173 --> 01:13:06.091 - Really? - Yes. You're welcome. 1055 01:13:14.767 --> 01:13:16.018 When I'm in jail 1056 01:13:16.101 --> 01:13:18.103 the first thing you do is talk to another chick. 1057 01:13:18.187 --> 01:13:19.521 - What the fuck? 1058 01:13:23.358 --> 01:13:25.861 Hey, pervert, fuck off! 1059 01:13:29.698 --> 01:13:31.200 You serious, bro? 1060 01:13:37.664 --> 01:13:39.875 I was in jail! 1061 01:13:42.377 --> 01:13:44.630 Hello? Are you going to do it or what? 1062 01:13:58.268 --> 01:14:02.189 Ooh! Your mouth's kind of cold. 1063 01:14:12.574 --> 01:14:13.575 Stop. 1064 01:14:14.576 --> 01:14:16.745 - Stop! - Come on, babe. 1065 01:14:16.829 --> 01:14:18.747 - Stop it! - What the fuck's your problem? 1066 01:14:18.831 --> 01:14:19.998 I'm worried about my brother. 1067 01:14:20.082 --> 01:14:21.667 He should've been here hours ago. 1068 01:14:21.750 --> 01:14:22.876 He's not coming, babe. 1069 01:14:22.960 --> 01:14:24.253 How do you know? 1070 01:14:24.336 --> 01:14:26.672 Because I gave him the wrong address. 1071 01:14:26.755 --> 01:14:28.841 - What? - They're Scouts, Kendall! 1072 01:14:28.924 --> 01:14:31.426 Look, what'd you think, I was gonna invite them for real? 1073 01:14:31.510 --> 01:14:34.012 - Come here. - You are such a dick! 1074 01:14:34.096 --> 01:14:35.973 - What? You're not leaving. - Watch me! 1075 01:14:36.056 --> 01:14:37.391 You're not going! 1076 01:14:39.226 --> 01:14:40.853 - Fine, go, bitch! 1077 01:14:43.689 --> 01:14:46.358 Oh, Jesus, girl. Get a fucking tampon, would you? 1078 01:14:57.119 --> 01:14:58.453 Someone help! 1079 01:15:00.164 --> 01:15:02.708 Help! Please, someone help! 1080 01:16:11.568 --> 01:16:14.279 All right, Scouts, let's kick some zombie ass. 1081 01:16:49.773 --> 01:16:50.941 Boom. 1082 01:17:07.499 --> 01:17:08.500 Chloe? 1083 01:17:08.667 --> 01:17:09.668 Oh, man. 1084 01:17:12.462 --> 01:17:13.463 Nailed it. 1085 01:17:36.486 --> 01:17:38.030 What a dick. 1086 01:17:42.159 --> 01:17:43.535 Ben, they're everywhere! 1087 01:17:43.827 --> 01:17:45.203 Circle up! 1088 01:17:50.792 --> 01:17:51.793 You want some of this? 1089 01:17:51.877 --> 01:17:54.504 You assholes! Die! 1090 01:17:54.838 --> 01:17:57.674 Come on! You want a piece of me? 1091 01:18:00.177 --> 01:18:02.137 Ben! Ben! 1092 01:18:02.220 --> 01:18:04.014 Help! 1093 01:18:09.102 --> 01:18:10.228 Ben! 1094 01:18:10.354 --> 01:18:11.730 Hang on, Kendall! I'm coming! 1095 01:18:14.024 --> 01:18:15.192 Oh, shit. 1096 01:18:15.525 --> 01:18:17.194 Oh, shit. Shit, start! Come on! 1097 01:18:17.527 --> 01:18:18.862 Ben, look out! 1098 01:18:19.029 --> 01:18:20.030 Shit. 1099 01:18:31.375 --> 01:18:33.043 Ben, duck! 1100 01:18:39.257 --> 01:18:40.258 Ben! 1101 01:18:41.218 --> 01:18:43.720 Kendall, come down! Climb down, hurry! 1102 01:18:46.598 --> 01:18:48.100 - Are you okay? - Yeah, I think so. 1103 01:18:48.225 --> 01:18:49.559 Guys, come on! 1104 01:18:49.643 --> 01:18:50.936 - Come on. - Come on! 1105 01:18:51.228 --> 01:18:53.939 We got to get everyone out of here! Let's go! 1106 01:18:54.398 --> 01:18:57.234 Everybody! Get to the stairs! Come on! 1107 01:19:04.074 --> 01:19:05.117 Let's go! 1108 01:19:05.242 --> 01:19:06.743 Come on, everybody, move! 1109 01:19:07.077 --> 01:19:10.747 Hurry up! Come on, come on! Let's go! 1110 01:19:10.956 --> 01:19:12.082 Let's go! 1111 01:19:12.416 --> 01:19:13.917 Let's go! Come on! 1112 01:19:14.084 --> 01:19:15.127 Oh, shit! 1113 01:19:20.090 --> 01:19:21.174 What are you doing? 1114 01:19:21.258 --> 01:19:23.009 They'll follow you if we don't lock the doors! You gotta go! 1115 01:19:23.093 --> 01:19:24.803 - What about you? - You got to go! Trust me! 1116 01:19:24.970 --> 01:19:26.304 I'm not leaving you! No! 1117 01:19:26.471 --> 01:19:28.265 Go! Go! Trust me! 1118 01:19:36.314 --> 01:19:37.649 - I'm out! - Oh, shit! 1119 01:19:37.816 --> 01:19:40.318 There's too many of them! Come on, let's go! Hurry! 1120 01:19:40.777 --> 01:19:41.820 Let's go! 1121 01:19:42.487 --> 01:19:43.488 Oh, fuck! 1122 01:19:44.489 --> 01:19:45.699 Let's go! 1123 01:19:45.782 --> 01:19:46.950 Come on! 1124 01:19:52.164 --> 01:19:53.957 Hurry, come on! 1125 01:19:54.458 --> 01:19:55.792 Go, Augie, go! 1126 01:19:56.793 --> 01:19:58.628 Run! Run! 1127 01:20:10.098 --> 01:20:11.850 Where's the door? 1128 01:20:11.933 --> 01:20:14.019 There's got to be another exit. 1129 01:20:14.102 --> 01:20:15.520 I don't see one! 1130 01:20:15.604 --> 01:20:17.272 - We're trapped. - Shit. 1131 01:20:17.606 --> 01:20:18.899 - There's no way out of here. - Fuck. 1132 01:20:21.276 --> 01:20:22.694 - What do we do? - Give me your backpack. 1133 01:20:22.861 --> 01:20:24.863 What? What are you doing? 1134 01:20:30.202 --> 01:20:31.870 - What is that? - It's a bomb. 1135 01:20:32.204 --> 01:20:33.246 You made a bomb? 1136 01:20:33.330 --> 01:20:34.539 What are you, the Taliban? 1137 01:20:34.664 --> 01:20:37.542 Either we die fast or we're eaten alive and turn into one of those things! 1138 01:20:38.710 --> 01:20:40.170 Your choice. 1139 01:20:42.797 --> 01:20:44.549 - Shit. - Carter, give me your lighter. 1140 01:20:45.800 --> 01:20:46.801 Here. 1141 01:20:51.223 --> 01:20:52.557 Are you guys ready? 1142 01:20:56.853 --> 01:20:58.522 - Wait! - What? 1143 01:20:59.064 --> 01:21:00.106 I need to say something. 1144 01:21:00.190 --> 01:21:01.483 Ben, it's fine. 1145 01:21:01.566 --> 01:21:02.984 - You don't have to do this. - No, I do. 1146 01:21:03.985 --> 01:21:05.654 We should have never ditched you tonight, Augie. 1147 01:21:06.321 --> 01:21:08.406 What we did was really messed up. 1148 01:21:08.490 --> 01:21:10.825 He's right. We've been complete D-bags. 1149 01:21:11.326 --> 01:21:13.119 It's my fault. I never should have made you guys think 1150 01:21:13.203 --> 01:21:14.746 you had to be in Scouts for just me. 1151 01:21:14.829 --> 01:21:16.414 No, that's just it! 1152 01:21:16.498 --> 01:21:18.792 I thought I wanted out, but I was just worried 1153 01:21:18.875 --> 01:21:21.753 what other people were gonna think. The truth is, 1154 01:21:23.171 --> 01:21:25.006 I love being a Scout. 1155 01:21:26.007 --> 01:21:29.010 And I love it because it's the reason I met you guys. 1156 01:21:32.097 --> 01:21:35.267 And I know tonight's been really crazy and fucked up, 1157 01:21:35.350 --> 01:21:36.768 but one good thing has happened. 1158 01:21:37.185 --> 01:21:38.895 And it's this, right now. 1159 01:21:40.146 --> 01:21:41.231 Us. 1160 01:21:41.398 --> 01:21:43.024 Being back together. 1161 01:21:45.694 --> 01:21:47.028 Scouts forever. 1162 01:21:49.948 --> 01:21:51.533 Scouts forever. 1163 01:21:53.702 --> 01:21:54.703 Scouts forever. 1164 01:22:01.293 --> 01:22:03.712 Ben? Is it really lame if I hold your hand right now? 1165 01:22:04.045 --> 01:22:05.046 No. 1166 01:22:08.300 --> 01:22:10.135 Oh, God damn it. This stupid thing! 1167 01:22:11.219 --> 01:22:12.887 - What are you doing? - It's out of fluid! 1168 01:22:12.971 --> 01:22:14.222 Here. Give me that. 1169 01:22:15.140 --> 01:22:16.600 Wait, do you have another lighter? 1170 01:22:20.395 --> 01:22:22.564 God damn it, Augie, we were supposed to die fast! 1171 01:22:25.066 --> 01:22:26.568 This is gonna hurt so bad. 1172 01:22:26.651 --> 01:22:28.153 Come on, Augie, you can do it! 1173 01:22:28.236 --> 01:22:30.488 Don't pressure me! I hate that! 1174 01:22:32.198 --> 01:22:34.618 Yo, dipshits! You just gonna sit there or what? 1175 01:22:35.994 --> 01:22:37.579 Where'd she come from? 1176 01:22:39.956 --> 01:22:41.416 Augie, leave it! 1177 01:22:48.882 --> 01:22:49.883 Augie, let's go! 1178 01:23:28.296 --> 01:23:29.714 Are you guys okay? 1179 01:23:29.798 --> 01:23:31.883 I'm alive. I'm alive! 1180 01:23:31.966 --> 01:23:33.718 Oh, my God! Augie! 1181 01:23:33.802 --> 01:23:35.804 - Dude! You're a genius! - It worked! 1182 01:23:35.887 --> 01:23:37.305 That was fucking awesome! 1183 01:23:37.389 --> 01:23:38.723 - Fuck, yeah, man! - It worked! 1184 01:23:40.809 --> 01:23:42.102 What the fuck? 1185 01:23:42.560 --> 01:23:44.312 Is that Scout Leader Rogers? 1186 01:23:46.815 --> 01:23:48.942 You got to hand it to him. The man is a fighter. 1187 01:23:50.235 --> 01:23:52.821 Oh, shit. Does anybody have a weapon? 1188 01:23:52.904 --> 01:23:55.407 There's got to be something around here. 1189 01:24:10.255 --> 01:24:11.256 Ah! 1190 01:24:13.174 --> 01:24:15.802 Every goddamn time! Ugh! 1191 01:24:27.188 --> 01:24:28.606 Now you decide to show up. 1192 01:24:49.961 --> 01:24:52.130 Evacuation fleet moving to secondary location. 1193 01:24:52.213 --> 01:24:53.631 Dude, you look like shit. 1194 01:24:53.715 --> 01:24:54.924 Yeah, well, what do you expect? 1195 01:24:55.008 --> 01:24:56.134 I've been killing zombies all night. 1196 01:24:56.217 --> 01:24:57.802 Yeah, you were kind of badass last night. 1197 01:24:59.387 --> 01:25:00.889 Well, thanks for coming back. 1198 01:25:00.972 --> 01:25:02.307 Somebody's got to keep saving your ass. 1199 01:25:02.390 --> 01:25:03.725 Yeah, I guess so. 1200 01:25:04.392 --> 01:25:07.729 So, um, are we gonna hang out after this, or... 1201 01:25:08.146 --> 01:25:10.231 Come on, I feel like the four of us are a team now. 1202 01:25:10.315 --> 01:25:11.357 Relax, dude. 1203 01:25:11.483 --> 01:25:13.985 You've got some business to take care of right now. 1204 01:25:18.281 --> 01:25:20.116 Go for it. You got this. 1205 01:25:20.950 --> 01:25:23.036 - All right. - Go. 1206 01:25:28.291 --> 01:25:30.627 I am so happy that you're okay. 1207 01:25:33.755 --> 01:25:37.550 Oh, that's so sweet. Up top! 1208 01:25:37.801 --> 01:25:39.385 Dude, I'm not high-fiving that. 1209 01:25:39.469 --> 01:25:40.553 Come on. 1210 01:25:40.637 --> 01:25:42.555 You think I'm high-fiving that? 1211 01:25:42.639 --> 01:25:44.224 - Come on! 1212 01:25:44.641 --> 01:25:45.975 Aww, look at them! 1213 01:25:50.188 --> 01:25:51.523 Who are you? 1214 01:25:52.023 --> 01:25:53.358 I'm a Scout. 1215 01:25:57.987 --> 01:25:59.030 All right, well, this just means 1216 01:25:59.155 --> 01:26:00.365 - I'm gonna fuck his mom. - Hey! 1217 01:26:00.448 --> 01:26:01.616 What? 1218 01:28:26.844 --> 01:28:28.513 Come on. 1219 01:28:30.723 --> 01:28:32.016 The end.