( dramatic theme music playing )
( birds chirping )
( phone ringing )
Hello.
- Did I wake you? - No.
- Nobody's there yet, right? I left early. - Nope.
Can you believe it's been 10 years since graduation?
Oh, I feel so old.
It's gonna be great seeing everybody though.
This isn't a good idea.
Listen, I know you don't want people over,
but these are your friends, your real friends.
Tonight we're gonna get drunk, reacquainted,
help Simone fill out her stupid name tags.
And then tomorrow you and I are gonna be
the best-looking couple at that reunion.
Whatever you say, Ashley.
Ray, baby, are you okay?
You know I don't give a damn
about that stupid hockey thing, right?
Stupid hockey thing. Right.
It just means you won't be on the road all the time
and we can spend more time together.
So just sit tight, baby. I'm gonna take care of you.
I'll be there soon.
I'm fine.
( horn honks )
Yoo-hoo!
Ray, baby, I've got a surprise.
Look at what you've done with the family manor.
Your mama must love this.
( humming a tune )
All ready.
I am saving the rest of the striptease for you.
Well, well...
This is nice.
"Find me"?
Ooh, fun and games.
I like it.
Seriously, Ray,
you're missing out.
Ooh, great minds think alike.
Am I now?
Okay, Ray, I give up.
Now come out and ravage me.
( object rustles )
I know where you are.
Fisher twins' party, senior year.
You remembered.
Oh!
Goddamn it, Ray!
This is not how you get laid.
Come out, asshole.
That's it. Creep.
- ( door slams ) - ( gasps )
Ray?
Screw you. I'm out of here.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Come on.
( screams )
Oh, my God. Stop!
( whimpering )
Oh, God, stop! Please stop!
( screams )
( dramatic theme playing )
( car engine revving in distance )
¶ I can't stop thinking of you ¶
¶ Tell me, tell me ¶
¶ Tell me ¶
¶ Do you feel the way I feel? ¶
¶ Tell-- ¶
Okay.
Come on, girl, ante up.
Oh, that's gross. Okay.
The longest drive ever.
- Welcome back. - Oh.
- Hi. You scared me. - Help you with your bag?
Oh, no.
No, I think I got it, thanks.
All right, well, you let me know if you need any help...
- Okay. - ...Gabriella.
Do I know you?
Butcher's Red Ale, Saturday night only.
Poker nights, that's what you used to drink.
Tarkin.
What are you doing here?
Oh, Ray took me on,
you know, when I lost the store.
He brought me here to be the caretaker
and look after his place while he's on the road--
you know, hockey.
Okay, good to know.
Okay, I should go in.
Yeah, all right. Well, let me know if you need anything.
Got it. See you around.
All right.
Not if I see you first.
Ray! Ashley!
Is anybody home?
( sighs )
Okay.
Hello?
Wow, impressive.
Oh, my gosh, who would do that?
Oh, my goodness.
That's gross.
( chuckles )
Shit. Oh, shit.
Oh, shit, shit, shit, shit.
- You came! - Oh, my gosh.
- You're here. - Jade.
I'm so-- Stop. I swear to God
I'm so mad at you right now. Stop.
Did you find out about Brad?
You knew?
Why is he even coming? He never even graduated.
Well, the faculty is presenting him
with an honorary diploma,
you know, due to his overwhelming success and all.
It's two days. You'll live.
- One hint of a warning. - Yeah, and you wouldn't have come.
Damn straight, I wouldn't have come.
Well, go on then, go. If you're gonna escape,
now is your chance, 'cause everyone's gonna be here any minute.
( car horns honking )
Or right now.
It's too late.
You're doomed.
Stop, stop, stop.
( electronic music playing over speakers )
Man: A toast to us.
- ( all cheering ) - Cheers.
You'll be proud to know that the goats
still reign as the best senior prank ever.
Simone: That was ridiculous.
The real senior prank was organized by the cheerleaders.
And it sucked. They TP'd
the goalpost on the football field.
Simone: And the sprinklers came on.
Toilet paper is really hard to clean, Mike, that's what.
I can attest to that, because the football team had to clean it.
- Simone: Thank you. - But the goats were still way better.
Thank you. Thank you, thank you.
Wait, wait, I thought the goats were Freddie's idea.
They were, yes, but numbering three goats
"1, 2 and 4", that was me.
The faculty must have searched
for goat number three for a week.
The phantom goat. Ooh!
Simone: Less goat talk, more name tags
for the reunion. Who would like to get this shit done?
Yes, ma'am, Miss Most Likely to Get What She Wants.
All I want right now is just spend the rest of my life in that hot tub.
Gabriella: How did I get wrangled into this?
Jade did not tell me that there would be hard labor.
- Simone didn't have your number. - Oh, okay.
Jade: But Miss Class President says
it's the yearbook committee's responsibility.
Make fun of me all you want, but I had to organize this reunion
- from three states away. - I helped, too.
Yeah, but you're here in town. It's easier for you.
Okay, who here joined Yearbook for the credits?
And it looked good on my college application.
And who joined for the hot teacher?
Yeah, of course.
Freddie: So why did you join Yearbook, Gaby?
'Cause Brad joined Yearbook for the hot teacher.
( gasps ) Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God. - What?
- Ray has an original. - DJ: No way.
- Gaby: I thought they were all destroyed. - I know.
Ray must have smuggled one.
We got so much shit for that.
I don't know if that's how I'd put it. Could have been way worse.
That was not my fault. I shouldn't have gotten into trouble at all.
How do you figure that? They way I remember it, you did the eyes.
- We were so wasted. - What's the point of poker night?
It was still a shitty thing to do.
I just meant that it wasn't my fault that it got out.
Ray's the tool who slipped it into the yearbook,
and we all got detention until graduation.
Detention was awesome. We bonded.
It was replacing that page in everyone's yearbook that sucked.
I still have scars on my fingers from those stupid razors.
Lamont: I can deal with a little yearbook carving,
but Ray almost got expelled,
would have kissed that hockey scholarship bye-bye.
Ray was lucky that shit went down with John, took the heat off him.
You guys, the only lucky thing that happened
was that nobody got killed. You're acting like one thing
wasn't directly related to the other.
You think John had a gun in his locker because of the yearbook prank?
I definitely think it was the straw that broke the camel's back.
Jade: Gaby's right.
We had tortured that kid since the first grade.
Yeah, Ray and just about everybody else in the student body.
I'm just saying, you know,
who knows what would have happened if they didn't find it?
Simone: Poor John Doe-- Dougherty.
God, we never even called him by his real name.
Whatever happened to John?
After he got expelled, I think he went to juvie.
I heard he eventually moved to San Francisco with his mom.
Come on, guys. New subject, right?
All: Yes, thank you.
- Jade: Okay? - Yeah. Shit.
Jade: Did I tell you
that I had to go through Brad's people
to invite him to this reunion?
His freakin' agent fielded my calls.
DJ: He's Brad Campbell, TV star now.
Freddie: You mean "Rock Mannon, Private Eye."
( all laughing )
This isn't a good idea.
You said you'd talk to her. You promised.
It's not that easy with her.
You could charm it out of her, if you wanted to.
I would be awfully grateful.
All right.
Come on.
I don't know, it's just the whole concept of a reunion
seems so archaic now.
I'm not much of a Facebook guy,
but I'm sure you girls know already who popped out six kids
and turned into a blimp.
Stacey Bevins.
- Okay. - Told you.
- I know, right? - Whose is this, guys?
Oh, I know.
Where is Ashley?
She's getting reacquainted with Ray's hidey-hole.
I guess they're on again.
Uh-uh, I'd say off again.
You guys, this is just mean. I don't care who she slept with.
- I'm taking this down. - Who hasn't she slept with?
- Freddie. - Oh, my God, Jade.
We're in high school all over again.
- She's not my type. - DJ.
I'm too much of a gentleman.
Anyway, Gaby, poor Ashley just had to pick up the slack
after you became an ice princess.
That's mean, dick. Jeez.
Oh.
( all shouting )
What are you doing?
Not the chocolate-covered raisins!
Stop, stop.
Okay, what's the matter? Out of ammo?
Well, that's ugly,
no matter who she slept with.
( engine whirring )
Gaby: I mean, I looked like a psycho
in front of, like, the 10th most beautiful woman in America.
So you're a psycho. Who cares?
You're our psycho and we love you.
So this weekend isn't just Campbell, no.
It's, like, Campbell and a sex kitten. Did you know?
Please, if I'd known he was bringing a supermodel, I would have told you.
And I also would have asked him to bring a few more to share.
- Thanks, your support is really overwhelming. - You're so welcome.
What are you doing?
- I'm currently a little low on funds. - No way.
So it occurred to me
that it would a great service to shoot the class reunion
and make it available for downloads at a modest price.
Freddie, no one's going to pay
to watch themselves act like idiots.
Mm-hmm, but will they pay
to watch their friends act like idiots?
- Maybe. - Holy shit.
Who knew Freddie was the class genius?
Just a knack for exploitation. Now if you'll excuse me,
there are one and a half celebrities in the hot tub, and that's worth money.
By the way, sorry about your bracelet.
Did you lose a bracelet?
Sort of, I guess. It was a poker thing.
I didn't really think anybody cared.
What are you talking about?
Okay, maybe it's not quite TV star cache,
but professional poker player-- sexy.
I bet you say that to all the girls, Miss Most Likely to Slut It Up.
What? Most Likely to Break Hearts,
thank you very much.
And anyway, it's all talk.
I'm a one-woman woman now.
- Really? - Yeah.
When do I get to meet her?
The reunion tomorrow night, maybe.
Okay, hot tub calls.
You coming?
- No. - What?
Yeah, I'm not gonna play a hand I can't win.
Oh, Gaby, your loss.
God.
Brad: Boom, boom, boom! Shotgun fire everywhere.
And I'm supposed to get shot in the chest and fall back into the glass.
And I have these squibs with fake blood.
Except they go off early,
blood all over the floor. I slip head first into the glass.
But of course it doesn't break,
knocks me out cold.
That's moviemaking.
- I'm shooting a movie. - I did see that.
No, a real one. I can get you the script.
It's about these four guys who break out of prison--
Freddie, tomorrow. I'm taking the day off, okay?
( yells )
( laughing )
Sorry. Sorry, guys.
( all chattering )
- Where's Gaby? - She didn't feel like coming in.
You guys are never gonna guess
- who she ran into this morning. - Who?
- Tarkin. - Oh.
- Tarkin? - Yeah, Tarkin.
- That's a blast from the past. - I know.
- Who's Tarkin? - He used to own a liquor store.
Sold a little on the side too.
To underage kids for twice the price.
He gave me my first shot of whisky at 13.
What was Tarkin doing here?
He takes care of the place when Ray isn't here.
Yeah, where is Ray? I mean, he's not being a very good host.
He's been feeling pretty down since he got cut.
You know, I should try his cell.
No cell reception. I already tried.
The landline's dead too.
Jade: I bet him and Ashley are down at the beach,
you know.
- They're down at the beach, getting reacquainted. - Freddie: Swimming?
- Simone: There's a lot of caves down there. - Spelunking.
I'm gonna get another beer. Anybody want anything?
I would love it if you could give me
a little shirtless action in camera.
for your fans, Rock Mannon.
- Jade: Come on, take it off. - It never pays me.
- Rock Mannon. - Come on, Rock.
Bella?
Ugh, stupid.
Need some help?
No, I'm good.
Bella seems sweet, pretty.
Yeah, yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Can I help you with something?
I-- I want to be friends again.
Okay, great. Friends again. Awesome.
- Whoa, wait, Queenie, I just want to explain. - Don't call me that.
Okay, I was a jerk. And I don't know what else to say, okay?
You abandoned me, Campbell. You are a coward.
I was 17 and terrified.
I mean, come on, Gaby, I'm trying.
It was really great to see you, Campbell. It really was.
But there's just isn't anything left to say,
so you don't need to try, okay?
I'm over it. It's in the past.
So did you ask her?
I haven't asked her yet.
I'm sure you'll find the nerve.
I'm gonna go change.
( door opens, closes )
( man breathing heavily )
So what have you been up to all these years?
You know, married, divorced.
Seriously?
I have a habit of falling for things
that look good on paper.
How about you?
I teach at Andersonville.
- Our archrivals. - Yeah.
- How could you? - They're good kids.
Traitor.
So, not to point out the obvious,
but you look good,
not the Lamont I remember in high school.
Yeah, I-- I grew up.
Yes, you did.
Look, I lied back then when I said
I joined Yearbook for the hot teacher.
Oh.
I joined for you.
- What? - Totally.
I mean, I had the hugest crush on you.
- You did not. - I did. I did.
I just couldn't work up the nerve enough to tell you.
You know, I do remember,
right after Tommy and I broke up,
that one day after class you stayed
and you let me cry my eyes out on your shoulder.
I so wanted to kiss you that day.
- I was in tears. - Yeah, you were gorgeous.
Still are, more so.
So what stopped you?
I mean, you were the class president.
You would have never gone for a guy like me.
Yeah, that's probably true. I'm not gonna lie.
But nothing like 10 years
to level the playing field.
Meet me in the downstairs bedroom.
DJ: Should we be letting her play? She's a ringer.
Um, hell yes.
I want to take some lessons from the pro.
Lesson one: Pro mucks her hand. Muck, muck, muck.
What is this anyway--
the "most likely" thing?
Bella started modeling at 13 in Italy--
lots of tutors, no senior superlatives for her.
Rough life.
I raise you 10.
Freddie: Oh, I'm in on this one.
- You in? - Please.
Can't you see I'm making a move on your girl?
For us non-supermodels, our friends, such as they are,
predict our destinies after senior year.
Not everyone can be Most Likely to Succeed,
so those of us near the bottom of the food chain
get more colorful monikers.
"Most Likely to Have the Last Laugh?"
Class prankster.
"Most Likely to Spike the Punch"?
Class drunk.
Speaking of which, when did you dry out?
I'll tell you right after I win my first hand.
Why doesn't Brad have one?
Gaby erased his after he skipped town.
He dropped out a month before graduation
and ran off to New York to become a big Broadway star.
- I guess she was hoping he wouldn't have a future. - I see.
20.
Freddie: Finally some action from the pro.
Brad: Raise you 10.
- Freddie: I'm in. - Gaby: I call.
- I'm out. - Check.
20. Looks like it's just you and me.
Yep. Raise you 50.
Freddie: Oof.
All right, I'm in.
So how come you've never won a world championship?
- Really? - First of all, she can't bluff for shit.
- Shut up. - Plus, she chokes on the big hands.
Jade: No, you're both wrong.
She's too nice.
- She feels bad winning. - Oh, my God, you guys are killing me.
Okay, I check, I check. I don't even know what I have. I check.
- Raise you 50. - All yours.
What? You had a pair of kings.
That's right, I did. And I laid them
face down on the table, so I kind of didn't want folks to know.
So much for laying traps, pro.
I wasn't laying a trap. I was losing.
DJ: You had a set of kings.
Yeah, but he caught bullets.
Boom. She's right.
That's amazing. How did you know?
I mean, I can always read Campbell.
He's the one who taught me how to play.
Now, if y'all don't mind,
the pro's gonna sit the next one out.
( car lock chirps )
- Coward. - I was just--
Yeah, sure. Come on, let's go find Ray and Ashley.
I'm sure they're at the coast.
( sighs )
( engine whirring )
Brad: Ray! Ashley! Olly, olly, oxen free!
Okay, yeah. Yeah, that should do it.
It's TV. What do you expect?
( both chuckling )
Hey, congratulations on the show, by the way.
You know, I never really got to tell you that.
Well, thank you. Right back at you.
It's a living, I guess.
Please, you came in 18th at the World Series of Poker
out of, like, 6,000.
Yeah, but 18th is still losing.
It's still pretty amazing.
Still no poker bracelet.
Want to join the chorus
and tell me why?
I wouldn't dream of it.
By the way, what was that me-teaching-you-poker up at the house?
I didn't teach you anything.
Yeah, I don't know, sure you did.
Just, like, the important bits, I guess--
never expect to win, never think you're too clever,
never trust anybody. They help.
Sounds like a lonely way to live.
- ( laughs ) - What?
I mean, careful, Campbell.
If I didn't know any better, I thought you were flirting with me.
Maybe you don't know better.
Okay, I mean, you come up here with a supermodel
and you expect me to believe that you're on the prowl?
Bella is a fling, okay? I was trying to help her get into acting.
And I only brought her because I couldn't shake her.
She knew you'd be up here and--
What?
Wait, wait, wait, wait. What's--?
You want something from me,
but not for you, for her?
Okay.
I'm gonna say no, by the way.
But you might as well ask.
Okay, it's nothing. She's doing a poker benefit
and she would like some tips from a pro, and I said yes.
Oh, wow.
Wow, brazen, I'll give you that.
Okay, well, I mean,
are the words "over my dead body" good enough for you?
- Yeah, crystal. - Yeah, cool, great.
I didn't come up here for Bella.
Yeah, I know. You came up here for your honorary diploma.
Maybe once you get that, you can grow the fuck up.
I'm glad you think so highly of me.
God, okay, I know you, okay?
I can read you every time.
You get greedy. You just--
you just had the best hand in there, okay?
A good pot, unbeatable,
and you still wanted more. You will--
You will always want more.
God, I learned that a long time ago.
I may not beat you, Campbell, but I've only lost big to you once,
and I never will again.
( sighs )
Oh, where are they? Oh, my gosh.
Ashley! Ray!
( engine whirring )
Ashley.
Ray.
Hello?
Ashley?
Holy shit.
- ( yells ) - Jesus, Freddie, what are you doing?
I wanted to get you and Brad making out.
- Is he in there? - No, no, no, no, Freddie.
Ahh! Ahh! What the fuck?
Oh, fuck.
Freddie, shit.
Shit. Oh, my God.
( Simone screaming with pleasure )
( laughing )
- Guys. - Simone: Shit!
- Sorry, guys. - What the fuck, DJ? Knock next time, man.
Sorry, guys. It's just something's happened to Ashley.
- What happened to her? - I don't know. I haven't seen her yet.
- Lamont, we need your help. - Yeah, yeah, I'll meet you upstairs, man.
Oh, shit. ( chuckles )
Oh, my gosh.
( both giggle )
I'll be right back.
( gasps, moans )
God.
Gaby, Gaby.
What?
- When the cops get here... - What?
...can we keep Freddie out of this?
You don't think Freddie--
No, no, no, of course not. It's just that, you know,
him being here in California--
God, he's breaking parole.
Wait, Freddie went to prison?
Yeah, he's gonna freak that I told you,
but I just don't want him to get in trouble
because I'm the one who twisted his arm for him to be here.
Just try. Please, just try.
Yeah, okay.
Good.
( engine whirring )
Okay, yeah, that's real.
That's fucking gruesome. Look at that shit.
- Oh, my God. - What the fuck do we do now?
Did you just find her like that? Did you go inside at all?
- No, I haven't touched her. - It's horrible.
We can't just leave her like that.
Gaby: Lamont will be back with the police.
They'll need to see the body.
Freddie: What are we supposed to do? Just wait around?
DJ: Lamont's going to be gone for at least three hours,
pending he can even get a signal on his cell once he clears the mountains.
- Brad, don't. - What are you doing?
She's our friend. She's not just a body.
I'm gonna turn the generator off.
Jade: Quit yelling at each other. Stop yelling.
This isn't an episode of "Rock Mannon."
God, you've gotten so cold. How can you just stand there and do nothing?
Because nothing is what needs to be done.
If we just stay calm, then maybe we can help the police find whoever did this.
- You know who did this? - What, Ray? Ray would not do this, man.
- He has a temper, but this? - How do you know?
- This is some other shit, man. - How do you know?
When was the last time you guys saw him-- actually saw him,
not on Sports Center, not on his fan page, but actually saw him?
I mean, it's been 10 years. Stop being so fucking delusional.
We don't know each other anymore.
I'm just saying, don't jump to conclusions.
That's it?
Oh, my God, where's Freddie?
He just-- he needed a moment.
I'll find him. You girls should go back to the house then.
Okay, but it doesn't feel right to leave Ashley alone.
I mean, Lamont will be back with the police. I just--
- I'll-- - You want to stay here?
I'll stay with you. I'm gonna stay with her.
All right. Hey, Gaby,
Brad's in shock. You don't have to prove anything.
No, I know, I know. Thanks.
- I'll be back. - Okay.
God, this is just so surreal.
( mechanical click )
( "Pomp and Circumstance" playing over speakers )
Hello?
Is anybody here?
Lamont.
Guys?
( screaming )
Help! Help!
( struggling to breath )
( engine struggles, quits )
Jade: You know what the creepiest part is?
All of it?
Yeah, but...
Brad's right.
I mean,
you're my best friend.
We get together once a year.
We text.
Come on, Gaby.
What do you really know about my life,
or me about yours?
Your life on the poker tour-- I can't even imagine that.
When we were kids,
we actually knew each other.
We've grown up.
We've all changed.
( chuckles )
- What? - People don't change.
They just become better at being the shits that they were.
Speak for yourself.
I am, okay?
I mean, look at us.
I make a living off trusting nobody, least of all myself.
Gaby.
Freddie's still hustling.
Brad's still trading on his charm.
You're still--
What? I'm still what?
You're still here, Jade,
in the one-horse town we were born in.
Why are you still here?
I'm gonna wait at the house.
I'm sorry. Jesus.
You want to analyze this, Gaby?
Fine, go ahead.
But I'm not gonna stick around for it.
Oh, God.
Oh, my God. Damn it, DJ.
Oh, my God, now is not the time to be sneaking up on people.
- Sorry. - Oh, fuck.
Any sign of Freddie?
Plenty, if you count regurgitated pizza.
But no Freddie in the flesh.
No Ray either.
I mean, why would he stick around?
Why would he kill Ashley?
Well, she used to cheat on him a lot.
And maybe the cut from the Rangers
was just too much for him to handle.
The Rangers thing, maybe. But I don't see him
giving a shit about who Ashley fucked.
He's not like you and me.
What's that supposed to mean?
Well, let's just say we both kept track
of who screwed us.
You think I'm like that?
Come on, your grudge for Campbell
has been growing so big over the last 10 years,
by this point it can fill the Grand Canyon.
But do you let him have it
when he walks through the door?
No, you just ignore him, pretend he doesn't exist.
Holding that shit in is dangerous.
So what, I should just prank him?
Hey, it keeps me sane.
And it gave me a rep in high school
of something more than a reject loser.
If it weren't for the pranks,
I'd have ended up just like John Dougherty.
Okay, I'm not like you, DJ.
I just handle things differently.
That's bullshit. You were just like me.
In high school, you were a fighter,
a survivor.
And once you realized that school band wasn't doing much for your rep,
you traded in your clarinet for a set of pompoms.
And by senior year,
you were dating one of the most popular boys in school.
Yeah, and look where that got me.
Campbell fucked you over. And after that, you changed.
That's the same reason you haven't been able to win a poker tournament.
God, why do I even bother paying a shrink?
I've got you guys.
That other stuff-- they were just mouthing off.
But I've watched you play.
When it really matters,
if you don't have the hand to back it up, you fold.
That killer instinct you had--
it died somewhere.
If I lived my life like that,
I'd be shit.
Didn't have the looks. Didn't have the brains.
Didn't have the money.
I had to bluff my way up the food chain,
same as you.
And you used to be great at it.
So you're saying,
if I can win with a bad hand--
say, for instance, lure a TV star
away from a supermodel with my nonexistent feminine wiles,
then I can win a poker bracelet?
Well, yeah.
God, just shoot me now.
- Oh, God, what are you doing? - Watch it, asshole.
- Campbell, what are you doing? - Gaby, shut up.
I'm taking you back to the house. We need the lights.
- Bella just found Simone. - What?
This is crazy.
I mean, this is nuts.
- I'm gonna be sick. - I mean, Ray and Ashley,
I can wrap my mind around, but Simone--
how could Ray do this?
- She's in the hot tub. - Obviously.
No, no, no, no. Okay, Ashley's name was in lights.
And Simone just got exactly what she wanted--
to spend the rest of her life in a hot tub. It's their "Most Likely Tos."
She's right, so whoever did this--
they were close enough to hear what she said.
I've got gasoline here. What have you got?
- Gaby: Yeah. - What is this?
- Gaby: Gas. - DJ: Yeah, I think we're in trouble.
Yeah, no shit. All the fuel lines have been cut.
Jade: What about Ray's?
Gaby: Who knows? The ground underneath looks dry.
Brad: Who knows how to hotwire a truck then?
DJ: Yeah, if it's before 1996-- this is bullshit.
- Jade: Great. Great. - Find some keys.
No poker tournament is worth this!
- We need to start walking. - I'm not walking in these heels.
- We can't just stay here. - Brad: Okay, let's just get inside
and come up with a plan.
DJ, we need to secure the house, lock the doors and windows.
- I'll get Ray's bedroom. - I'll check the kitchen.
( rustling )
( both scream )
Freddie, Jesus, what are you doing?
I need some fucking cookies!
I eat when I get stressed out!
- ( door slams ) - ( screams )
It's Tarkin. It's Tarkin. I know it.
100%, it's him. He's broke. He's lonely.
He's living here in the middle of nowhere. He's gone fucking crazy.
He's creepy enough.
He always watched me change from outside the bedroom window.
And you didn't say anything?
People watch me all the time. I'm used to it.
But maybe he heard Simone if he was close by.
Or it could have been someone who was already in the house.
I'm just saying.
I gotta go pee. Who's coming with me?
I'm not going alone.
It's okay. I have to go too, so...
- I'll go together then. - Yeah.
( urinating )
Look, I'm sorry about earlier, okay?
I was just like-- I was way out of line.
You want to know why I never left town?
It's none of my business.
I fell in love. That's why.
( toilet flushes )
Why hide that from me of all people?
I didn't think you'd approve.
Me? Are you demented?
How can I not approve of you being in love?
With our Honors English teacher.
Elaine Miller?
You're dating Tiller Miller?
And that's why it's still a secret.
Speaking of secrets,
Elaine and I stayed here last year.
There have been some break-ins
and, well, Ray just wanted us to feel safe.
Now you know and I know.
Just in case we need it.
Why show me?
You may not trust anyone, Gaby.
I get it. It's okay.
But I trust you.
All done. Who's next?
You.
What were you two whispering about?
Nothing. You want to sit down?
( water running )
When I was obliterated drunk in my car,
ran a red light
and smashed into oncoming traffic,
my boyfriend was in the car with me.
He didn't make it.
That's when I stopped drinking.
What the fuck?
( muttering )
Oh, my God! Oh, shit!
Freddie: I didn't do anything!
Then why aren't you covered in blood?
- Because I didn't wash my hands. - Bullshit.
- Damn it, Campbell, you're not helping. - DJ: Rock Mannon, are we?
- Brad: What about you? - What about me?
No one knows anything about you for the last 10 years.
I haven't been hiding from my problems like you, that's for sure.
Wow, great, let's just tear each other apart, save the psychopath the trouble.
Jade: Shouldn't Lamont be back by now? Something must have happened.
- Brad: Maybe he's in on it. - I don't believe that.
- Maybe you shouldn't... - Jade: Shouldn't what, princess?
Believe it. Holy shit.
Am I being punked? You set me up.
Jade: It's nice to know who the world revolves around.
Brad: Bella, I swear, it has nothing to do with anything--
Oh, please, like this cabin-in-the-woods shit really happens.
It's more of a coastal property,
but maybe Boobies has a point.
What if we are getting punked?
I mean, did anybody check a pulse?
Jade: Oh, my God, they wouldn't.
What about you, class prankster? You're probably in on this, aren't you?
Sweetheart, I wish I was this good.
Where the hell are you going?
To check on the bodies. What else?
Bella, no one knew you were gonna be here. I don't know what you think--
You did. And you set me up,
so I'd feel like I was part of the group.
I figured it out.
I'm not leaving.
Okay, then I'll go alone.
You never did care about me, did you?
No, I'm sorry.
I'll go with her.
Bella, wait.
Wow, the brave man is gonna let his girlfriend go find the killer by herself.
I didn't let her go alone. DJ's with her.
There's always an excuse, isn't there?
Look, it may have taken me almost 10 years to figure out
what's important to me, Gaby, but I know what is now.
And I'm not gonna jeopardize that again.
I don't need you to look after me.
( instrumental music playing over speaker in distance )
Is that the "Rock Mannon" theme song?
What the fuck?
That's my cell.
Hmm?
That's my cell.
There it is.
Okay, so that means we have a signal.
What's your cell phone doing on the floor?
I don't know.
Wait here.
( phone beeps )
- Hello. - Man: You never did sign my yearbook, Campbell.
- Who is this? - You never did sign my yearbook.
( screaming )
Get the gun! The gun!
Hey, asshole!
Don't shoot. Brad's back there.
( Brad groaning )
Oh, shit.
Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness.
( mumbles )
Did we get him?
Get him to the couch.
Oh, shit. Shit.
When did you even get a gun?
- Why aren't we using it? - Give me your shirt, Freddie.
- We didn't know who to trust. - And you do now?
Guys, what about the phones?
Still no signal. We're either unlucky as fuck
or he's somehow blocking it.
Okay, you guys, go check the balconies,
see if you can see DJ and Bella anywhere.
- Come on. - Gaby: Fuck.
Shit.
Good job leading the troops.
If this were a TV show, you would have saved the day by now.
Yeah, if it were a movie, I'd be the killer.
Fuck. Where's Lamont? Shit.
Hey, look at me. You saw the robe.
There is no coincidence that our reunion is tomorrow.
This isn't a random psychopath we're dealing with here.
This is somebody we know, okay?
You need to be careful.
So you're telling me to trust no one?
Well, no one except me.
Thank God.
- There's no sign of him. - Gaby: Oh, shit.
Just Simone in the hot tub.
Look, I think it's safe to say this isn't a prank.
Okay, we need to figure out a way out of here,
because obviously walking is off the table, right?
There are two ways to trap an opponent.
You can advertise strength or you can feign weakness.
- Who's feigning? - We need to focus
on what's left, which Most Likelies.
Most Likely to Spike the Punch--
all those words are extremely aggressive.
Most Likely to Play the Hand She's Dealt.
Let's just hope it's not aces and eights.
Most Likely to Break Hearts.
( Freddie laughs )
Your wake of scorned lovers
is probably laughing right now.
Karma is a bitch, isn't she?
- Grab your camera. - What?
I want to say goodbye to my girlfriend.
Come on, guys.
I know deep shit when I'm in it. Get your fucking camera.
Fucking over here, there's better light.
( Brad groans )
What are you doing? Stop, no, no, no. You shouldn't.
Trust me, it's better than lying here, waiting to be butchered.
A man of action, just not when it counts.
You know, Gaby, you're right.
It doesn't matter.
- It does matter. - It doesn't matter.
I'm sorry.
We had something special.
And I wanted more.
At least I thought I did.
When you got pregnant...
I just saw my whole life disappear.
I wasn't ready and I panicked.
I didn't need you to be ready.
I just needed you to be there.
I wish I would have stayed.
From the bottom of my heart,
I wish I would have stayed.
You should not have done that alone.
And I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
( shutters )
Brad, Brad. Shit, guys.
Guys, he's going into shock. Grab a blanket.
- Here. - Oh, God, his body temperature's dropping.
Oh, my God, he's freezing.
- I'm gonna go boil some water. - I'll go with you.
Okay. Keep him talking. Keep the gun close.
Yeah, okay.
Brad.
Brad, come on, come on. It's okay.
Gaby's gonna get you some water. It's okay.
We need to get him to a hospital.
Lamont should have been back by now.
What if that pig fucker was in the car when he left?
Oh, a what a time to be on the wagon.
Maybe I should just OD on whisky and save Ray the trouble.
You think it's Ray?
Brad can barely move. It's not gonna be Jade.
And I'm pretty sure Bella, DJ and Lamont are freakin' dead right now.
We just haven't found their mutilated bodies.
So, unless it's Ray, who is it? John Doe?
Maybe it is, okay? Makes the most sense,
finishing what he didn't get to back in high school.
Except he has no idea where we are, Gaby.
I could barely find this place.
What about you? You left your name off the list.
Lamont told you I did time, didn't he?
He wanted me to look out for you.
Just like Lamont,
always looking out for people.
"Fuck your parole. Come to the party, motherfucker.
We've got to cheer Ray up."
Well, Ray is fucking happy now, isn't he?
Texas Chainsaw Massacre happy.
( whistling )
Bella, you're okay.
- He's out there. - Where's DJ?
He's--
( screams )
( screaming )
Oh, my God.
Jade! Shit.
Jade!
Get out of the way!
Oh, God.
- Get me out of here. - Okay, stand back.
No, no, no, don't shoot. It's steel. You'll kill us.
I'm sorry, I'm just trying to help.
- Okay, give me the gun. - Wait, why?
-'Cause I'm gonna go after him. - Gaby, no.
- Give me the goddamn gun. - Fuck.
- Okay, go back, make sure Brad's okay. - Okay.
Fuck. Okay.
Oh, okay.
( whimpering )
Oh, my God, Jade.
Oh, my--
Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry.
( Jade sobbing )
Gaby...
( deep breathing )
Gaby.
I'm sorry.
Jade!
( sobbing )
( deep breathing )
DJ, DJ.
DJ.
Damn, DJ.
Hey, DJ.
What-- what the hell happened?
It's Ray. Ray-- he attacked me.
Simone's dead.
What? Wait, wait.
No, no, no, no, no. What are you talking about?
- You were gone longer than I thought. - No, no. See, see,
my car ran out of gas about 10 miles back.
Somebody cut my fuel line.
Yeah, I know.
It was me.
( screams )
- No, no, no. - Let's see if you really can eat anything.
No, DJ!
Brad.
He's not dead.
Not yet.
( "Pomp and Circumstance" playing over speakers )
Brings back memories, doesn't it?
Where did you go?
I heard screaming in the kitchen,
so I ran to the bedroom and hid under the bed.
Bella's dead. She's decapitated.
And then this happened.
Where's the gun, Freddie?
I don't know where the gun is.
You guys had it last.
It's right here.
DJ, what the fuck?
Sorry for the delay, guys.
I had a legend on ice locked in the trunk of my car.
So right now Ray is nice and chill.
Freddie, come sit down.
Keep an eye on Ray.
Don't make me kill you, Freddie.
Come on, play along.
You might just get out of this alive.
You did this, DJ? Why would you do this?
( turns off music )
It all goes back to...
John Dougherty, really.
All this over a lousy picture?
No, Freddie.
We helped destroy John's life,
all of us.
And you and me, we used to--
we used to be best friends with him in grade school.
You too, Gabby.
We used to all go to summer camp together.
- Yeah, and we grew up. - We gave up.
We sold our souls to survive.
We put on masks, turned our backs on the people
who were actually our friends.
And look at you now. You're...
( DJ laughs )
You're a fucking ice princess.
And you're an alcoholic, an ex-con.
- Was an alcoholic. - Still a loser.
And you're a fucking serial killer.
- Exactly my point. - It was high school, okay?
It sucked. You graduate. You get over it.
But John didn't graduate.
I didn't ask that kid to put a gun in his locker.
No.
No, you didn't.
But Ray asked me to put a gun in his locker.
And because I was a spineless piece of shit,
I did it.
Ray knew he was going to lose his scholarship.
Ooh, so he needed something big to happen,
to make what he did just look like
a little harmless yearbook prank.
So now John wasn't just getting humiliated.
which, frankly, he was getting used to.
No, no, he was getting expelled,
getting sent to juvenile hall.
I ran into him up in San Francisco.
We became friends again.
And nothing went right for this guy--
I mean, money, women, friends.
He didn't have anything.
He didn't have any-- any dignity left.
So one day I told him what we had done.
I wanted him to realize that it wasn't the world coming down on him.
It was us.
And the next day,
he threw himself off the Golden Gate Bridge.
We casually destroyed his life.
But I decided to do something about it, so...
so this weekend is about retribution.
And if it wasn't for good old Ray here,
none of this would have ever happened, so he's gonna take the credit for it.
( Ray muffled grunting )
Poor Ray.
He just snapped after the Rangers cut him.
His little ego couldn't take it
and he just killed everybody.
So that's it then, hmm?
Kill us all, pin it on Ray,
then you can sleep better at night?
I don't want to kill you, Gaby, not if I don't have to.
Haven't you been listening?
I mean, me and you are the same.
We've both got blood on our hands now.
I'm trying to help you get that killer instinct back.
And Freddie here--
well, he's suffered just like us.
Freddie's boyfriend was in the passenger seat
of his car when he plowed into traffic.
There wasn't a lot left of that seat, was there, Freddie,
when they pulled his body from the wreck?
No.
So I'm gonna let the two of you live,
if you help us out,
because we're not done yet.
- Who's "we"? - Who's "we"?
Me,
Ray and the graduate.
John Doe and I have a long list of people
to visit tomorrow night at the reunion.
We've got jocks, cheerleaders, the prom queen.
Who's that guy who held you down and pissed in your hair in fourth grade?
Dougie Jones.
Dougie Jones! That fucker's gonna die.
So how about it, Freddie? Are you in?
Uh-uh.
- Ah! - Are you in?
I'm in, I'm in, I'm in!
And how about you, Gaby?
You in?
Sure, I'm in.
Well, Freddie here has always been one
to give in to peer pressure,
but I'm gonna need some convincing with you.
It's time to catch up with me on body count.
Time to get some real payback.
Gaby...
Speak of the devil.
Now if anyone here deserves vengeance, Gaby,
it's you.
Senior year, this son of a bitch tells you he loves you.
He steals your virginity,
knocks you up, and then heads for the hills.
How did that make you feel?
I wanted to kill him. I still do.
So...
here's your chance.
( mumbles )
I just want you to know
I forgive you.
DJ: Whoo! Whoo!
- Fucking die already. - Let me.
Who's got the last laugh now, motherfucker?
You know I was only kidding about that business, right?
I know, Freddie.
( Ray muffled shouting )
Oh, my God.
Oh, fuck. Oh, my God.
Queenie.
You'll survive.
Shit. Oh, my God.
Okay, come here.
Let's get the fuck out of here, come on.
Let me see the gun.
Let's get out of here.
Are you okay?
You realize you're starring in my movie, Campbell?
- You got it, Freddie. - Great.
It's about this crazy high school reunion.
Gaby: Shut up, Freddie.
Freddie: But there's a happy ending.
Gaby: Let's just get him to the hospital first.
Freddie: All right.
( death metal music playing )