My name's Paul Raymond.
Welcome to my world of erotica.
-30? -(Paul) Yes.
(Fawn) 39? (Paul) Yes.
-50? -(Paul) Yes.
(Fawn) 55? (Paul) Yes.
Why do you buy so many houses, Grandpa?
(Paul) They're not houses, they're... they're shops, restaurants, offices...
cafes, clubs.
But why so many?
(Paul) I bought them for your mummy.
For your mummy and...you and your little sister.
-(overlapping chatter) -(car honks)
-(cameras clicking) -(reporters shouting)
(Charles) Give him space.
Please, move away.
Can you give him some room, please? Thank you.
(reporter 1) Mr Raymond! (reporter 2) Paul.
(reporter 2) Paul! (reporter 3) Mr Raymond.
What can you tell us about your daughter?
(reporters clamouring)
Debbie had all the money in the world.
She had a beautiful house,
beautiful children,
beautiful cars.
(cameras clicking)
I don't understand it.
(reporter 2) Okay, thank you.
(reporters clamouring)
(reporter 1) Thank you.
(sighs)
(clicking)
I think we're both quite showy.
We're both quite extrovert and sort of...
spark each other off in that way.
(Paul) I certainly, uh, see a lot of myself in Debbie.
She's a maverick.
Uh, [started out as a performer and so did Debbie,
and eventually I moved backstage
and Debbie has followed a similar path.
My name is Paul Raymond. Please welcome La Cirque Nu de Paris.
That's "nu", not "new". It's French for "nude".
'(band playing) -(applause)
(lion tamer) Come here. Come here. Come here.
Good boy. Out.
Good boy, out. Out, steady now.
Steady now. Steady, Atlas, steady. Steady.
- Come on. Come on. Out. Come on. -(roaring)
- Ahl
- Paul, do the curtain. - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Get down. Get down.
- We're not allowed. -(lion tamer) You've got to.
-(girl) We're not allowed to move. - Don't be silly.
Come on, you've got to. Get down, quick.
-(audience cheering) -(Paul) Listen to them.
That's fantastic.
(girl) Quick, hurry. Open the gate.
- The curtain. Do the curtain. -(Paul) Curtain!
-It's all right. - I was so scared.
-(Jean) Florence, are you all right? - Oh, yeah, great.
A bloody lion tried to eat me for dinner.
- Calm down... - I am not getting back in that cage.
(Jean) Jim, how bad is it?
Well, the audience liked it.
(Paul) You can't buy publicity like that.
And they can't prosecute me because the girls had to move.
- You watch. Tonight we'll be sold out. - Well, it's all right for you.
I'm the one who's got to go into the lion's den.
Well, they're not gonna pay to watch me in a cage.
Oh, I would.
(Paul) Back, by popular demand,
Atlas the lion and the amazing Cirque Nu de Paris.
-(loud cheering) -(fanfare playing)
(roars)
(Paul) Look at that. Fantastic. We're in the nationals. Daily Sketch.
It says I was nude.
Does it matter?
No, I wasn't nude. I most certainly wasn't nude.
I am a choreographer. I'm Paul Raymond's wife. I'm not a nude.
What would my mother say?
- Well, they can't... -it's half a page.
They can't just make things up.
Saying I was nude. I wasn't bloody nude.
I wasn't naked. I was wearing a G-string.
A G-skin?
- A G-string. -(laughter)
It's a form of ladies underwear.
You've been called the "king of the keyhole shows".
I like to think of myself as the, er... "king of the glamour shows".
Your shows are refined, respectable
-and modest? - Yes.
Well, in that case, surely it is a compliment for a woman
to be classed as a "nude"?
Paul, do you wish that your wife hadn't tried to sue the Daily Sketch?
I love my wife and I fully support her in everything she does.
Although she will have to pay the legal costs.
(laughter)
Gentlemen, I'd love to stand around and chat further
but, er, my new members-only club is opening in Soho,
the heart of London's West End.
Er, now being a private club,
our nudes will move, dance and express themselves.
Gentlemen of the press are, of course, welcome.
Once you've paid the 10 shillings and sixpence membership fee.
-(laughter) -if you come along this evening,
you can enjoy a complimentary glass of champagne. House champagne.
Thank you.
- I thought you handled that very well. - Thank you.
I hated that lawyer making me look stupid.
They didn't make you look stupid.
They didn't "make you" look stupid.
You.
- I do hope this is a good idea. -(Paul) It's gonna be a great night.
We're a beacon of excellence in a sea of mediocrity.
Hello, Jean. How'd it go in court, darling?
- Dreadfully. We lost. - Oh, yeah? How much you lose?
Uh, it was all money well spent as far as I'm concerned.
Right.
There's only one thing worse than being talked about, Jimmy,
and that is not being talked about.
- Do you know who said that? - No.
Oscar Wilde. Except he didn't say "Jimmy".
-(Jimmy) Wasn't he a queer? - Yes, he was one of the first.
See you later.
- Hello, sir. How are you? - Hello, sir.
- I'm all right, how are you? - Little bit of striptease.
Beautiful, beautiful girls.
(Jean) One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. And one, two, three...
(Paul) How's the prettiest girl in the club?
I don't mean you. I mean... Hello, squeaky nose.
Have you got a squeaky nose still?
Ooh. (squeaks)
Six seven, eight. Chins. Two, three, four.
-(Paul) How's she been? - She's a beauty. Just like her father.
Excellent. Flattery very important for a hostess.
And one, two, three, four...
- So, are you gonna squeak my nose? -(sighs)
Well, there might be squeaking involved.
- I can't promise it'll be your nose. -(chuckles)
Five six, seven, eight. And one, two three, four, five, six...
No, no, no. Yeah, yeah.
(Paul) Ah, there you are. (Edwyn) Hello, Paul.
Are we having a party? Hello, sweetheart.
We're just... We're just chatting, really.
How are you? You all right? Tending to your flock, are you?
Yes, everyone seems to be in, er... you know, good spiritual health.
- Oh! - Out on the town, girls.
Where is my costume?
(dancer) I'm gonna wear it for David, I think.
I think there's something wrong with my zip.
I have a needle and cotton if you need it.
Girls, I want you all on stage 1O minutes before curtain. Okay?
Oh, Betsy, you've decided to join us, have you?
I'm sorry, Mrs Raymond, I missed my bus.
Well, next time you're out. It's a professional theatre.
- It's not a bloody fish and chip shop. - Yes, Mrs Raymond.
Uh, lipstick's bleeding.
All right, lots of smiles. Confident and enjoy.
(dancers) Thank you.
I ask the girls. I say, you know, "Don't call me Reverend. Call me Edwyn.
"Forget the dog collar. Just see me as a friendly face.
"And use that face as... as... as you wish."
(dancers giggling)
You know, you shouldn't be in here unless you're topless.
Now, you save that cheek for on stage, young lady.
Adam and Eve were naked.
Baby Jesus was naked for the first...
part of his life.
(people cheering)
-(cabaret music playing) -(applause)
(Paul) A glass of champagne. Taittinger.
(music continues)
- To the future. - To the future.
(music continues)
(interviewer) Paul Raymond's Revue Bar.
To some, a Mecca. To others, Sodom and Gomorrah.
Ever since it opened in 1958,
people have been flocking to the club
that has become synonymous with Soho, sex and sophistication.
Mr Raymond has always been a pioneer.
Pushing at the boundaries of what is legal,
occasionally crossing the line.
This has brought him rich rewards.
His club turns over more than a quarter of a million pounds a year.
(applause)
Bravo.
(interviewer) Even as the '60s started to swing,
it seemed people were willing to pay good money
to see a girl take her clothes off.
Now, with the Lord Chamberlain abolished,
Paul Raymond faces a new challenge and a new opportunity.
Legitimate West End theatres can put on shows with naked girls,
so Mr Raymond has plans to transform himself into a theatre impresario.
But, for today, he has his hands full,
rehearsing a new dance show for his Revue Bar.
Okay. Hold it, hold it, hold it.
We're now getting near to the end of the act.
What I want you to do is, now, readjust the ending,
so that, by the end, you're completely nude.
That's great. Undulate.
Remember more... more... more snake-like movements.
The fact that Midas has turned you to gold...
Don't worry about the logic of that.
You're not gold ingots, you're beautiful women
and the gold doesn't impede your movements.
Very fluid.
Excellent. Great.
Mr Raymond, what makes a good striptease artist'?
(Paul) Well, the girls are...
in a sense, actors
and they must persuade the men that they're enjoying the experience.
Uh, so it's a performance and they must be convincing.
And how did your career begin?
Well, I'm an entertainer, first and foremost.
I started out with a mind-reading act.
Erm, and I soon realised that people like to look at attractive girls.
And they liked it even more if the girls had no clothes on.
Er, so in that sense, in that sense alone,
I could read people's minds.
(interviewer) In leafy SW19,
not far from the world-famous grass courts of Wimbledon Tennis Club,
he and his young family live among the company directors,
city bankers and lawyers.
His son and daughter go to public schools
and enjoy the right sports.
Not bad for a boy from Liverpool who arrived with five bob in his pocket.
(Jean) Good try, darling.
Yes, try and hit it, though, Howard. Try and hit it with the bat.
Okay, again, one more time. Thanks.
Again.
(Jean) Come on, Howard. Keep your eye on the ball.
Yes! Out! Out!
(interviewer) All this is the measure of Raymond's success,
far from the grey class certainties
of Moseley Hill, Liverpool, where he was born.
(Paul) My father left home when I was just a baby.
Uh, so I was brought up in a house full of women.
So I'm very comfortable around them.
Um, we moved to Glossop when I was a child,
where I was educated by the Sisters of Notre Dame.
What would the nuns think of what you do now?
I think that they would be forgiving.
I think, you know, I mean, I'm very strict.
I would never allow anything blasphemous in any of my shows.
No, never. I wouldn't have some...
one of the dancers, you know, dressed as a nun, you know, with...
suspenders under her habit, you know.
You know, pulling the rope off a Franciscan monk and, you know,
having him ravage her or something, you know, in a confessional box.
I would never do anything like that because I would find that offensive.
Do you keep in touch with your father?
Uh, no, he disappeared completely.
(eastern music playing)
Would you say everything you touch turns to gold'?
Not... not everything, er... but enough.
Mr Raymond, thank you very much. Cheers.
You're more than welcome. Thank you.
What time do you finish tonight?
I think about 5:00.
(Paul) You're a sweetheart.
(Kim) I think an hour with me will sort you right out.
(girls giggle)
- Well, I may well take you up on that. -(girls laugh)
Hello.
I was trying not to wake you.
What time is it?
(sighs) Uh, late. Well, early.
- Was she nice? - Uh, a girl. Just a girl.
Mmm?
- What's that? - Hmm?
Oh, shit. (stutters) It's gold paint.
One of the girls in the Midas thing, you know.
(sighs) Makes a change from lipstick.
You wouldn't want a husband who was surrounded by all these...
beautiful, naked girls and have no libido.
- Would you? - Oh, I don't know.
You could have a boy if you want.
_ "Mmm?
Would you be there?
Yes. Of course.
And would you make love to him, too?
- No, of course not. -(both chuckle)
And where would this be happening?
Right here. In our bedroom.
And what would you be doing?
I'd be over there in the chair. Tied up.
How would it all get started?
- Well, the doorbell would ring. - Would you answer it?
Well, of course I can't. I'm fucking tied up, aren't I?
- I'm not Houdini. -(laughing)
(auctioneer) Twenty-five with you, sir. Thirty with you, sir.
Forty.
Forty-five, sir. With you at 45.
I am looking for £50,000. Fifty at the back.
(Paul) Debbie, this is Carl. My lawyer.
- Hello, Debbie. -(Debbie) Morning.
£60,000.
I have 60. I'm looking for 65.
Do I see... Thank you, 65.
Seventy with you, sir. Seventy-five.
Hundred and fifty.
(auctioneer) No further bidding.
Sold to you, sir, for £150,000.
- Do you own that one? - No.
-15? - No.
-(Debbie) What about 78? - Not 78.
-76? -76 is mine. I own 34.
- What about the next one? - No.
-(Debbie) Is this yours? - That's mine, yes.
- Say "mine". I mean "ours", of course. - Of course.
I own this one here.
(Debbie) Why? It's horrible.
Some of the streets... some of them are a little bit scruffy.
So why do you buy so many buildings?
Because, uh, one day you will own the company
and nothing confers more respectability on someone than property.
Do you want a piece of cake from that shop there?
(Debbie) Yes. Obviously.
I told you I could read people's minds, didn't I, eh?
Can I have the berry cheesecake,
the strawberry mountain,
the cake with the almonds on the side
and the marzipan figs?
-(Paul sighs) Debbie! - Mmm!
You're not supposed to eat them all.
They're to share with the other girls, to help you make friends.
Now, we must insist that you don't come inside to the dormitory.
It's a rule that we have here.
It can be very upsetting for the children.
Right.
But they do get over it after a week or so.
Right.
- Sorry. - That's okay.
Hello, I'm here for the audition.
Too late, I'm afraid.
Are you sure you can't just squeeze one more in'?
Hold on one moment.
- Mr Raymond? - Mmm?
I'm here for the auditions.
You're late.
Yes. No. Yes, lam late.
But I told myself that I wasn't going to come in
unless there was a free parking meter, which usually there never is.
But, at the last second, a red Cortina pulled out.
So...here I am.
Luck, hopefully, or destiny?
- Uh, what's your name? - Um, Amber.
Well, my real name is Julia but I call myself Amber.
I see. Yes, well, my name's not really Paul Raymond.
It's, uh... My real name's actually Geoffrey Quinn.
Oh.
Gosh. (chuckles)
It's really... It's quite grand, isn't it?
Well, in your own time, if you'd like to take off your robe.
Of course.
Excellent. Um, turn round, please.
- Exquisite. -(9i99le$)
if you want to hop into the pool.
Yes.
If you'll fit.
Think you're almost as tall as the pool is long.
(Amber chuckles) Yes.
Breast stroke?
- Of course. -(Am ber chuckles)
(water splashes)
(Yvonne) How could any man be such a cad'?
Such a hypocrite
as to make love to me whilst he had a wife?
(Leonard) Oh, any man who would do that...
(audience laughs)
(Yvonne) I thought you were like other men,
-eager to start an affair... -(whispers) Quickly.
(Yvonne) ...as long as there were no strings attached.
-(audience cheering) -(wolf whistle)
Leonard, Leonard! Who are those women?
Oh, they're our neighbours. We let them use the swimming pool.
- They're very liberated. - Mmm! Liberated from their clothes.
Leonard, I need a huge favour.
You need a place to hide from this nasty story
-that's going around about you. -(Leonard) Yes.
(actress 1) Well, it's clear to me, George, you've made a fool out of me
and I'm leaving you.
(actress 2) And I'm leaving you.
(George) Oh, no, you're not. I'm leaving you.
(Leonard) And I'm leaving you, Yvonne, after all.
- In my house with my best friend. -(Yvonne) Absolute nonsense!
It was I, yes, I who spent the night with him...
(dialogue fades)
(George speaks gibberish)
(audience cheering)
(upbeat music playing)
-(man) ...lovely boy. - Rusty! You fancy a drink?
- Er... Oh! How are you? - I'm celebrating.
- Yeah. You want to join us for a drink? - Oh, yeah, come on.
Dave can look after here. It's dead tonight anyway.
(J1 Born Under a Bad Sign by Booker T & the MGs)
(Paul) Ladies. (Jimmy) Yeah, thanks, darling.
(Jimmy) on, look at this.
(Jean) Thank you.
Where did you find this lot?
Vienna. Vienna, yes.
(Jimmy) Must have cost you a few bob. (Paul) No, no.
Just shipping and packing. And that's just the women.
(Rusty) Oh, I'd like a big snake like that. Wouldn't you, Jean?
Yeah, I bet you do. (chuckling)
(man) Here's the papers, Mr Raymond.
Right, here we go.
"Hoot or miss?
"Pyjama Tops is the worst acted farce I have ever seen on any stage
"in the last 25 years."
- Ooh! -(Jean) That's rubbish.
"It is littered with arbitrary displays of naked flesh."
Well, he's not wrong there.
To be described as the worst play in the last 25 years
is almost as good as being described as the best play in the last 25 years.
Because people are going to talk about it,
and that's all that matters.
Here's to the worst play in the last 25 years.
(all) To the worst play.
Bottoms up. Literally.
(applause, cheering)
(girls) Bye. (Amber) Have a good weekend.
- Bye, Annabell. - Bye, love.
- Hello, Amber. - Hello.
Congratulations on a very successful first week.
- Thank you very much. - Yes.
Anyway I got this bottle of chilled vintage champagne
and the Rolls is outside and I thought perhaps, you know, we could...
celebrate.
The audience really lapped it up, didn't they?
You soaked the first three rows.
- You know, I actually own the theatre. - Oh, really'?
- Oh, yes, yes. - Wow.
- The Windmill Theatre, you know that? - Mmm-hmm.
Yeah, that's... that's one of mine.
- The Revue Bar, of course. - Yes.
- Raymond's Revue Bar.
I am probably one of the biggest show producers in the UK.
Wow.
So tell me all about yourself, warts and all.
- Gosh. Um... - Actually, skip the warts.
(Amber) Well, once I was a nanny for a woman
whose boyfriend happened to be Sean Connery.
- Really? Yes. - Mmm.
And, uh, did he try to kiss you?
(laughs) I was... I was 17.
Mmm, and he was James Bond. So...
Actually, he was, um... he was really nice.
He, er, gave me two tickets to the Dr No premiere.
- Did he now? - Mmm-hmm.
And, uh, he kissed me aftewvards.
- Did he? On the lips? - Yes.
And, um, was it like this?
Mmm. No, it was a little bit more like, um...
Like that.
Well, um...
(mimics Sean Connery) I'm shaken but not stirred.
(laughing)
Very good. You sound very like him.
I've even got the eyebrows.
- Did you notice? - Yes, you do.
Yes, you'd make a very good, uh, Honey Ryder.
'Cause I could just imagine you like Ursula Andress,
you know, emerging from the, uh... from the waves.
With a dagger strapped to my thigh.
Yes, perhaps you could be, er... my Honey Ryder in the, er...
in the Caribbean.
I'd love to be. Hmm.
(Paul) Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you.
What time is it?
(sighs)
Just after 2:00.
That's early.
- What was she like? - Nice.
Good in bed?
I don't know.
- Night, girls. - See you later, Jack.
- Have you kept the school uniform? -(girl) Oh, of course I still have it.
-(laughter) -(knock on door)
Mr Raymond's waiting at the stage door, Amber.
Oh, thank you.
-(girls) Ooh! - Mr Raymond!
Yes, Mr Raymond.
Going home with the boss-man.
- Maybe. -(girl) You want to be careful.
- Night, Jack. - Night.
- Oh, hello. - Hello.
J1 I'm just mad about Saffron
J1 Saffron's mad about me
J1 I'm just mad about Saffron
J1 She's just mad about me
(tyres screeching)
J1 They call me mellow yellow
J1 Quite rightly
I hope it's big enough for you.
(chuckles) I think it is.
Talking about the room.
Nice jugs-.
(Amber chuckles)
(grunts)
Yes, I fit.
Yay! (laughs)
I had a mind-reading act called Mr and Miss-tree.
Mr and Miss-tree!
- Yes. It's very clever word play... -it's very clever.
Ah, I love it when you do all the work.
It's so nice when you're on top.
Especially 'cause of my bad back.
There would be a code system, uh, for the alphabet.
And the word for "P" was "come", and the word for "N" was "here".
So if she said, "Come, Mr Raymond, what do we have here?"
I would say, "Come-here, P-N. Pen."
Oysters start off as male and become female.
I did not know that.
- Well, there you go. It's, uh... - Thank you for that fascinating fact.
I'll give you a fascinating fact every day.
- Mmm! - After we've made love.
- Okay. - A sort of motivation for you.
Oh, great.
I'll be staying at the Mayfair Hotel.
You're a coward. Do you know that?
You're just like your father. Walking out on your children, on your...
on your family.
Oh, Howard. Howard's here.
You're just in time to see Daddy leaving.
Look after your mum.
Do you want to tell him where you're going?
Go on. Tell your son where you're going!
You're a lying, cheating bastard and I hate you!
You just wait.
Wait until I tell Debbie what her dad's really like.
That some stuck-up fucking little vicar's daughter's
more important than she is.
Don't you dare turn Debbie against me.
Don't you threaten me.
(Paul sighs)
(Jean sobbing)
If only I could trust you. Start a new life with you.
Tonight our happiness begins.
(Amber) Will you give me your word
-your wife means nothing to you? - Nothing.
Evening, Jeff. Um, what dressing room is Amber St George in?
Dressing room four, Mrs Raymond.
Dressing room four, thank you.
(man) Well, I'm not gonna wear this.
I mean, it just feels like somebody else's suit
and I can't wear it.
(girls chatting, laughing)
(Jean) You keep your hands off my husband.
He's got two children!
And they need a father, even one like him.
He probably tells you you're special, doesn't he'? Oh, he tells everyone that.
Do you know he's had half the girls in every bloody show we've done?
- Has he had you, love, has he? - No... (clears throat) ...Jean.
(Jean) Oh, you're nothing special.
In fact, I don't even know what he sees in you.
You're just a jumped-up posh little tart.
Well, have you got anything to say? Can you speak?
(Amber) Yes, I can speak.
(mimics) "Yes, I can speak. Yes, I can speak."
Don't you look your snotty little nose up at me.
- Yes, can I help you? -(giggling)
What are you looking at?
Oh, and you were rubbish in the play tonight.
(actor) Thank you.
- Night-night, Jeff. -(Jeff) Goodnight, Mrs Raymond.
(Amber) Is that Jean?
Is she following us?
You're being paranoid.
(Amber) I told you she was following us.
I'll go and talk to her.
(engine revving)
This is silly.
You're the one being silly.
It won't last.
- What won't? - She won't!
Perhaps, but this is ridiculous.
It's not the 19th century.
Yeah, I don't care what bloody century we're in!
I'm your wife!
She's making a fool out of me. It's humiliating.
(Paul) Well, what are you doing here? Go home.
- Get some sleep. - Well, come with me.
Paul, come with me. Get in the car now.
No.
If you don't leave her now that is it, it's over.
That is absolutely it.
Don't you come running back begging.
Jean, I've never begged for anything in my life.
Goodbye, then.
(tyres screeching)
Mrs Raymond, you're smiling. How much did you get?
Well, I'm very, very happy with the settlement.
It entitles me to 250,000.
Well, this is a great day. It's like throwing away your crutches.
(laughing)
I deserve every penny. I've worked damn hard.
(male reporter) There he is.
(all) Mr Raymond!
(female reporter) Mr Raymond, this is one of the largest divorce settlements
this country's ever seen.
Ah, well, it's... I think you'll find
it's the largest divorce settlement this country's ever seen.
Not bad for a boy who arrived from Liverpool with five bob in his pocket.
(laughing)
Just gonna warn you, I don't own the whole building.
Just the, uh, top floor.
(gasping)
Oh, I love it.
These are the two ladies with big balls.
(Amber) Ladies with balls.
Spirit of Ecstasy.
- You'll be seeing a bit more of him. - Yes, you love that.
And this is, uh, this is all designed by Ringo Starr.
- Oh, really? - Yes. That lamp's a bit low.
Uh, yes. It's nice, isn't it?
(Amber) Ooh, I love it.
- Follow me, come on. - Come on, I'm going to shoo you in.
- I'm the Pied Piper. -(Amber laughs)
Follow me into the, er... Well, not the sewer.
That wouldn't be appropriate but, uh, the bedroom.
- Fairy-tale bed. - Yes, it is.
You could get Snow White and the Seven Dwarves on here.
Starting with, um, Dopey,
and, uh, Happy.
No dwarves.
- Really? - Mmm.
Press this button.
(Amber) Ooh.
- Better close your eyes. -(Amber gasps)
(Amber giggling)
(Amber) That is amazing.
(Paul) It's almost like living inside a giant missile silo.
What, for your, uh, big rocket?
- Mmm. Yes. - Mmm.
Your guest is seated at your table, sir.
Excellent.
(Tony) £12,000 to you.
I tried doing a magazine in the '60s. Uh, King. It didn't work.
That's because you didn't know what you were doing.
We will persuade readers that, by buying Men Only,
they are buying into the world of Paul Raymond. Right?
The world of cigars
and exotic holidays and luxury cars.
This will take the world of Paul Raymond out to the nation.
There will be lots of girls.
Beautiful girls, beautifully photographed.
We copy the car magazines, right?
We have, as the face of our magazine,
we have a hot female columnist, right,
and she road-tests the men of Europe.
I have a contact at John Menzies.
Menzies have 5,000 newsagents. That's their own newsagents.
Their distribution arm covers another 20,000.
It's a perfect,
perfect market for advertisers.
Well, if you can, er, edit as well as you talk,
then, er...I'm very interested.
We're looking for someone who would, erm, road-test the men of Europe.
Me.
- Could be. - I'd like that job.
And I'm a very good driver.
It wouldn't be cars that you'd be driving.
The columns will have to sound sexy.
- Yeah. -(Amber clears throat)
"Her lips parted.
"His hot, hard member thrust into her."
-it's a good start. - That's good, that's good.
"He pushed his tongue deep into her hot, wet, velvet pussy."
Also good.
"He bit my lips hard
"and my whole body shuddered
"as his swelling member forced its way inside me."
Can I see you with your clothes off?
- If you give me the job. -(Tony chuckles)
(Tony) We have to think what we're gonna call you.
Emily Spankhurst?
- That sounds like a porn name. - Come on, be serious.
Georgina Allcock.
Oh! Iona Jaguar.
I own a Jaguar.
Yeah, we got...
- I don't like Iona. I don't like Iona. - Oh. Um...
Fi-ona. Fiona Jaguar.
(Paul) It's too... It's too exotic.
- Fiona's good. - Fiona Kent.
- Yeah. - Fiona Kew.
- Fiona Richmond. - Yeah, no, Fiona Richmond.
It's too like "Raymond". It's too like you.
- Perfect. -(Tony laughs)
Perfect.
- Oh, that's so romantic and sweet. - Fiona Richmond.
My name is Fiona Richmond.
(camera clicking)
I'm a professional journalist,
hired by Britain's new and most sophisticated men's magazine
to travel my way around Europe and ask penetrating questions.
Need something to make it a bit less picnic,
a bit more cornucopia.
Here you go. This is luxury.
It is dead.
- Should have had a crab. -(laughing)
Around the World in Eighty Lays by Fiona Richmond.
(assistant) More fan mail. (Tony) More?
Bloody hell, we've created a monster.
And it's me!
(Fiona) Vladimir's strong hands held me aloft
before dropping me down on to his upright stalk.
"I wish that you would spank my naughty bottom like mummy did."
- That might be for me. -(laughter)
- Think of me. - Or, if it helps, think of me.
Look at Paul but think of me.
A bit more tit.
The butcher's counter at Harrods, is at Harrods,
but it's still selling meat, isn't it? Right, so...
I'm not sure I like Fiona being compared to a piece of meat.
(clears throat) She's tasty, you want to eat her. She's rare.
-(footsteps) -(bell tolling)
Pa, I was only smoking.
(Paul sighs)
That's not really a crime, is it?
Well, you were smoking a marijuana joint which is illegal, yes.
I can't believe...
that that fat cow expelled me.
You're the one that wanted to go to that school. You insisted.
Well, I want to go to drama school.
I want to follow in your footsteps and go out into the world
and do all of those things.
(saxophone playing)
J1 I can hardly wait to hold you
J1 Feel my arms around you
J1 How long I have waited
J1 Waited just to love you
J1 Now that I have found you
J1 Don't ever go
(Paul) Here's to a star of tomorrow. (Amber) Yes, absolutely.
Pa, thank you. Thank you.
- To Debbie Raymond. -(Debbie) Cheers.
Cheers.
(Debbie) One thing, if it's going to be an erotic show,
does that mean, um... Would I be scantily clad?
No, you will not have to take your clothes off, of course.
I would never ask my daughter to do that.
(Debbie) 'Cause the other people on stage... Thank you.
-...probably would... - Yes, of course there'll be nudity.
- But you won't. No, no. - I just wanted to make sure,
because I don't have the equipment to, sort of, deliver the goods.
(cabaret music playing)
Remember to look up, look up. Okay, now stay here.
(ma/e choreographer) One, two. Really swivel those hips.
And two.
And look, and look and dance break.
At the sides.
(director) Okay. Okay, okay, okay. Stop, stop, stop, stop.
- Cut, cut! -(mouthing)
Cut.
Ok, let's get the girls in the hoops.
(both vocalising)
(director) We've got Miss Nude International
followed by Genghis Khan and Attila the Hun.
(Paul) I think Genghis Khan and Attila the Hun together is too much,
because it's basically rape and pillage twice.
Ladies.
- Hello. - Hi.
My soubrette.
My ingénue.
(kissing)
Do you think I look stupid?
You look beautiful.
Like a peacock.
Good afternoon, gentlemen. Thank you all for waiting.
I hope I haven't kept you too long.
Uh, right. Well, I'll set straight to it.
I'm here to announce my latest production,
which is entitled Royalty Follies.
This will be the most expensive production ever mounted
in the UK.
Uh, we understand that your daughter is to be in the show.
Will she be topless?
No, she will not.
Isn't that a double standard?
Someone had to keep their clothes on and Debbie bravely volunteered.
(laughing)
-(vocalising) - Good.
(vocalising)
-(vocalising) - Okay.
(cabaret music playing)
J1 My baby does it good
J1 He treats it like he should
J1 When I'm feeling down
J1 When I'm feeling gloomy
J1 I tell you now he really socks it to me
J1 Shooby-do and sure enough
J1 My baby really knows his stuff
J1 Yeah, my baby does it good
J1 My baby does it good
(J1 Wig Wam Bam by Sweet)
(Russian music playing)
(woman coughing)
(snoring)
J1 Thank you for coming to Follies
J1 We hope that we'll see you soon
J1 We'd like you to know just before you go
J1 Thank you for seeing our show
(music ends)
(scattered applause)
- Good morning, Dennis. - Morning, sir.
- How are you'? - Very well, thank you.
Good, good.
How bad is it?
Bookings just aren't coming in.
If it carries on like this we're gonna take a real beating.
I don't understand. It's baffling.
I mean, there's something for everyone in that show.
Is it the black and white baby or...
Oh, that's my favourite. I love the black and white baby.
It's bloody hilarious.
I mean, we've got dolphins pulling knickers off girls
for goodness sakes. I mean, what's not to like?
Excuse me, Mr Raymond, I've got a gentleman on the phone for you.
He says he's your son.
Well, just take his number.
I get a lot of crank calls.
Well, we've got to make sure that Fiona's next show is a knockout.
- Yeah. - We have to...
make as big a splash as possible.
Bigger than those damn dolphins.
My name is Paul Raymond.
This is Fiona Richmond.
Fiona Richmond is starring
in the West End farce Let's Get Laid,
starting this Thursday night.
If you enjoy, as I do,
looking at nude ladies,
please do come along. You shan't be disappointed.
(woman) That's disgusting.
(Paul) No, it's not disgusting. It's perfectly natural.
If it's good enough for Lady Godiva, it's good enough for Fiona Richmond.
That's enough now. Enough fun. Get off.
-(Fiona) Sorry, everyone. - Come on, you've had your laughs.
Come on. All right, get rid of the horse, it's blocking the road.
- Hi. Hello. -(Carl) Lady Godiva.
- How are you? - Oh, it went brilliantly.
Paul. Fiona. Let's get laid.
(glasses clinking)
(crowd cheering)
(cheering continues)
(Paul) I'd rather see a beautiful lady with her top off
than a middle-aged man with his pants down.
I mean, who wants to see Brian Rix with his trousers down all the time?
(Fiona) Me!
Well, well, well. Deborah Raymond. I didn't know you were here.
- Hello. You look gorgeous. - Oh, hello.
Oh, you were wonderful this evening.
- Don't, I'm hardly in it. - No...
This is all down to you.
Mwah! Hello, Mr Raymond.
Pa's really happy and it's a smash hit, isn't it?
Mmm-hmm.
You're a very lucky man, Paul,
getting to share your bed with such a beautiful and talented woman.
- Are you flirting with my girlfriend? - Ah, I might be.
Should I be jealous?
Well, that's up to you.
How are the Follies going?
Oh, Tony, I don't want to talk about it.
Well, my apartment's right at the top, so there's very little light pollution.
You can actually see the stars from the bed.
I'd love to see it.
Are you all right, Debs? Are you okay?
Tired.
And I also have a sun... sunbed above the bed
so you can get a tan at the same time.
I have something that'll cheer you up.
- Have to do it quick, right. - Yeah.
This way... Trumpet. Toot-toot! This way, right?
(inhaling deeply)
Ha! There you go.
(Kate) Wow, it's amazing!
Ah! Home at last.
(laughing)
- I love you. - I love you, too.
I'm so glad you guys love each other.
- And, er... and I like you a lot. -(laughing)
(Fiona) Wouldn't it be awful if we didn't?
- And I like you a lot. - Good.
(knocking)
- Here's Debbie. - Hello.
- Hello, darling. -(laughs)
Do you want us to, um, head on when she... when she comes in?
- Uh, yes. Yes, if you wouldn't mind. -(Carl) Could be a little bit awkward.
- Hello. - Hi.
- How are you? - Hello.
- Come, have a seat. -(Debbie) Oh, thank you, Carl.
- There we are. - Hi.
Thank you.
- Would you like a drop? - Yes, please.
- How are you? - How's the voice?
It's okay. It was a bit hoarse when lwoke up this morning, yeah.
(Paul) It doesn't sound hoarse.
And, more importantly, you don't look like a horse.
-(Debbie laughs) -(Carl) Yeah, you certainly don't.
Not at this moment in time.
Pineapple juice is what you want for the throat.
Tony, we ought to, uh...
- Yes, yes, yes, yes. - See you at the bar.
Just a second.
- See you in a little bit. - See you in a bit.
Apparently, as well, if you have chocolate
it's good for your voice.
It soothes it.
Um, I was thinking, uh, we should think, er...
of perhaps finding another vehicle for your talents.
I really like the Follies, though.
I know. I just think, you know, we should find something else.
I don't think we should. I really enjoy it
-and I really enjoy it every night. - I'm thinking of cancelling the show.
The public were not ready.
They didn't understand it, they didn't get it. More fool them.
I mean, is it my... is it my fault?
No, it's not. Of course it's not your fault, no.
It was haemorrhaging cash, you know.
I've got to balance the books, you know, that's...
Well, what am I gonna do now, Pa?
I want to be able to act and I want to be able to sing.
And I was doing that and now everyone's going to...
Don't cry.
But they're going to know that I was in the show that you put me in
and I wasn't good enough and now nobody's going to hire me
in anything else ever again.
Don't cry.
I'm sorry, Pa, but I'm upset about what you've just told me!
But don't cry! The show's losing money!
I can't haemorrhage cash just because you want to sing.
Don't cry, there's nothing to cry about.
- I can't help crying, I'm sorry. - There's nothing to cry about!
(sobbing) I'm sorry.
(stutters) Dry your tears. Come on. Come on, dry your tears.
(waiter) Anything else for Miss Raymond?
Can I have some champagne?
(waiter) Would you like another bottle of champagne?
Yes. Yes, please, Carl.
(muffled sobbing)
(Paul) Your mascara's running.
I'm just gonna go, um... I'm just gonna go to the loo.
(overlapping chatter)
Tony, do you have, um, a pick-me-up?
- Are you all right, sweetheart? - I'm okay. Yeah.
Yeah, thank you. Thanks.
(Carl) Didn't take that so well. (Tony) No, she didn't.
I think you should watch that.
- Oh, she's fine. She's a big girl. - She's a kid.
(toilet flushing)
(upbeat jazz music)
-(Fiona) Hi. - Good evening, Tony.
Evening.
Deb?
(Debbie) Um, I'll have a vodka tonic, thank you.
(Tony) And a scotch, please.
-It's quite phallic, isn't it? - Yes.
If my penis was shaped like a saxophone I'd seek urgent medical attention.
There's Pa over there
with those girls.
They look about 12 years old.
I tell you, I did love the show, but...
You know what he's like.
Yeah, I do know what he's like. That's what pisses me off.
Well, I've got some hard feeling. Well, I will have later...
Look, come on, let's do a line.
(Fiona) Is she angry with Daddy?
Okay-
Keep these two lovely dishes on the boil.
'Cause I'm working up quite a large appetite.
Excuse me.
Oh, do you mind?
(laughing)
Oh, hi. (clears throat) Er, right.
(stutters) This isn't what it looks like, obviously.
No, we... we were literally just having a snog in the ladies.
No. No, no, no. Whoa! No, no, no. We were just...
Where did you get this?
If you're just buying it off some random guy in the street,
you're crazy. It's junk.
If you're gonna do this kind of thing, get the good stuff.
Yeah, well, that's mine, Paul, so it is the good stuff, so...
Oh, right. Well, good.
But thank you for your advice. I will remember that forever.
- Tony, uh, take her home. - Pa.
- Come on, Debs. Come on. - Are you being serious?
No, this is the first time I've been happy all daylong.
- Come on, Debbie. Look, this is... - Dad...
(Tony) I'll put you in a cab.
(Debbie) Go have fun with your four-year-old friends.
- And you're just being an old man. - Yeah, and you've made me an old man.
All of us are in the gutter. But some of us are looking at the stars.
'(Q/TU Wow. -(kissing)
(Paul sighs)
That was Oscar Wilde, by the way, said that.
- I know. -(9i99liﬂ9)
(Paul) Well, I don't mind pushing the envelope,
you know, taking a risk.
I don't want to show too much pink.
Of course. It's gonna be classy.
-(Paul) No penetration. -No, no, no, no. No, no. No.
- If it's interesting we can give it a... -"interesting"?
This is an opportunity for us to re-write
the cultural history of this nation.
And these girls are prepared to do that?
Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.
-(Tony) Okay, a bit too much tease. -(camera clicking)
Let's take 'em down. Down. That's good, that's it.
Back against the wall.
I want to see something.
I don't want to think I might be seeing something.
I want to see it.
Lovely, that's great. That's good.
(camera clicking)
if you come... Yeah. That's it.
No, that's good.
That's it. This isn't... It's not Germany. So we'll just...
That's it, that's it. Beautiful.
Look at that. I fucking love this girl.
We've got to use her again, she's amazing.
- Can I have a look, please? -(Paul) Yes, please do.
- I'm very worried about this. - Oh, Paul.
(Paul) Are we going to run into problems with that?
-(Tony) No... -(chuckles) I think we are going to
run into severe problems with half of these images, I'd say.
-(publisher 2) Yes. - Why?
(publisher 1) She's got her bum in your face here.
You can see her bum-hole here.
Right in your face.
And, you know, I can't see her middle finger there.
So men are just gonna assume that's inside her.
- That's obscene. - Really?
- Well, it's not in her fanny. - I don't... I don't remember that.
(publisher 1) Do we need to take these kind of risks?
-(Tony) Yes! - On the day it wasn't inside her.
(Tony) No, it's definitely not inside her.
Not during the shoot, anyway.
I think we have to ask ourselves if we're pornographers or not.
With all due respect, I do not publish, uh, pornography.
I, earlier today, obtained these Scandinavian publications
from, uh, a Soho outlet.
Now these are what I call pornography.
Héstspela, for example,
which, you know, is literally "Horseplay"
in, um...Scandinavian.
And, by the way, this is not your common or garden
equestrian publication, I can assure you of that. Um...
The Obscene Publications Squad today impounded more than 300,000 copies
of Paul Raymond's magazine Men Only.
It's the largest amount of pornography ever seized in Britain.
(Carl) Tony, I think you should let me go first.
Ah, you'll only depress him, Carl.
(Carl) It'd be better if you let me do the talking.
- Paul. -(Carl) Paul.
Those joyless, puritanical bastards.
(Carl) Yeah, I know.
You know, they're the Roundheads and we're the Cavaliers.
Yeah, who won?
(Paul) It's as if masturbation doesn't exist.
Think of one person who you can say has never had a wank.
-(Tony) Mother Teresa? - All right, name me another person.
-(Tony) Gandhi. - Come on.
(doorbell ringing)
(Paul) Oh, Jenny, it's all right, I'll get it.
- You sure? - Absolutely.
(sighs)
Darryl. Pleased to meet you.
Come in.
So you found us all right?
Yeah, ljumped in a black cab at Euston.
I'm here on business as well as seeing you, you know.
Oh, right. What kind of business?
Uh, it's a job interview, yeah.
(Paul) Right, very good.
I like your flat.
It's like something out of James Bond.
(laughs) it is a bit.
Yeah, what's the... what's the guy called? Dr No. It's like, yeah.
Yes, but it's a... I don't have the white cat, I'm afraid.
Yes. Uh, Ringo helped me design it, actually.
Ringo Starr from the Beatles.
- Oh, you know him? - Well, I know all the Beatles.
Very friendly with them, apart from Yoko.
Now, Darryl, can I offer you a glass of champagne?
It's a very, very nice bottle.
(stutters) Yeah, I've had it before.
And by the way, it's not Darryl, it's Derry.
Okay, well, Derry it is.
I changed my name many years ago. I used to be called Geoffrey.
- Geoffrey. - Yes.
(ice cubes rattle)
(Derry) It's really nice.
You know, for years I'd tell people that you were dead.
That's what Mum... what Mum told me to say.
And then I find out that not only are you not dead,
but you're Paul bloody Raymond.
It's just...
It's just, I don't know.
Your mother was very young when she fell pregnant.
Yeah, she was, urn, 17.
I, uh... (clears throat) I kept up the maintenance payments.
Thirty shillings a week until I was 21.
Yes.
You know, we even share the same birthday.
15th of November.
Yes, it's quite a coincidence, isn't it?
(Derry) Mmm.
Yeah, so when I was... blowing out candles on my birthday cake
at some point during that day, you'd be doing the same.
Well, I haven't actually had a birthday cake since 1958, but, uh...
I've got some old photos if you want to see 'em. I've got, um...
One of you and Mum.
(Paul) Good Lord.
We both look so young.
Your mother is a fine-looking woman.
Yeah. Yeah.
I've got some pictures of me if you want to see them.
Yes, of course. Please do.
Show you these...
There's another one of you and Mum.
(Paul) That's Southend. You can tell by the, er... by the pier.
Did a lot of the seaside resorts, when we were touring.
(chuckles)
- It's so funny. - Mmm.
Uh... And that's you, is it?
Yeah. That's... that's me at the seaside.
(Paul) Yes, you've got a very characterful face.
-(Derry) Thanks. - Yes.
- There she is again. - Yeah.
- That's you as a baby, is it? - Yeah.
I think I was about three weeks.
(Paul) Yes, she looks very happy.
Such a long time ago.
(sighs) Another life.
Yeah, urn, thanks for dinner. It's really nice to meet you.
Well, absolutely. And thank you for getting in touch
and I thought it was very worthwhile.
Well, goodbye, Derry.
Yeah, goodbye, Paul.
(Paul) Take care.
(elevator bell dings)
(porter) Good afternoon, Miss Raymond. (Debbie) Hi.
I'm Paul Raymond.
I am Paul Raymond.
I'm Geoffrey Quinn.
(J1 Let's Stick Together by Roxy Music)
Aperitif, anyone?
-(all cheering) -(man) Boss man.
(Paul) I really want to emphasise
-we only do coke socially. - Absolutely, yes.
We just happen to be very sociable people.
I like to do it anti-socially myself.
(laughter)
(overlapping chatter)
No, no, no, no. Not for me.
(women exclaiming)
Okay, I'd like to propose a toast
to the one millionth copy of Men Only sold in the United States of America.
(all cheering)
It's called the "matador look".
Oh, my back. I'm joking, I'm joking.
What are you talking about?
(overlapping chatter)
(Paul) This... this is where it all happens.
(J1 Everyone's a Winner by Hot Chocolate)
(inhaling)
We need to talk.
(clears throat)
(sniffs) That's never a good start to a conversation.
I'm leaving, Paul.
And I mean it this time. I'm tired of it.
I just want a normal life.
Normal life is for normal people.
Is there anybody else?
No.
Captain of the cruise ship in St Tropez?
No.
Cocktail waiter in Jamaica?
No.
Is it me?
Don't answer that. (chuckles)
- Yes. - Yes.
Is it something I've done?
Something I've, uh, not done?
Something I could do?
You're never gonna change, Paul.
Where will you go?
I'm going to go and live with Debbie.
Debbie knew you were going to leave me before I did?
- You wanted us to be friends. -(sighs)
Well, uh, I own Debbie's flat
and, urn, technically she's not allowed to sublet.
- It's in the lease. - I'm sorry.
J1 Anyone who ever loved
J1 Could look at me
J1 And know that I love you
J1 Anyone who ever dreamed
J1 Could look at me
J1 And know I dream of you
J1 Knowing I love you so
J1 Anyone who had a heart
J1 Would take me in his arms and love me, too
J1 You couldn't really have a heart and hurt me-..
(doorbell rings)
Pa?
Are you all right?
I don't know.
Oh, dear.
Did Fiona send you?
No, she didn't.
You haven't got a temperature or anything.
I just feel old.
I don't think you're old.
Oh, Pa. You can't just lie here and feel miserable all day, can you?
Yes.
No.
Come on. You're getting up. And we're going out!
You're going to feel much better.
I'll get you some clothes.
Come on, you're Paul Raymond. You're not Geoffrey bloody Quinn.
Let's have some caffeine, first of all.
And then let's go and have some champagne.
Go to L'Escargot for dinner, and we'll go out to a club
and we'll have lots and lots and lots of fun.
Just what the doctor ordered.
Did you hear that, Chris?
I'm afraid it's going to be a late one tonight.
Good, I've been missing them.
(Debbie) It's just beautiful at night-time.
(Paul) Everything looks beautiful at night-time.
-(Debbie) No, this. -(Paul laughs)
This is beautiful.
(Paul) Henry VIII used to use this area as his hunting ground.
And "Soho" was his battle cry.
- So-ho. - So-ho, you know.
- So-ho. -(imitating horn blowing)
(howls) So-ho!
(laughing)
Sorry.
(howls) So-ho!
(people cheering)
I own all of you!
(chuckles) Well, actually, the Queen owns the pavement, darling.
No. Soho!
(J1 disco)
(waiter) Anything else, Mr Raymond?
I think the magazine needs a revamp.
It's a little old-hat and I think we need to make some changes.
- Do you have any big changes in mind? - Yes.
Yes, I think we need to, er... fire Fiona.
(Debbie) What are you two doing sitting here like two wallflowers?
I know what you're thinking. "Her father's come to pick her up."
(laughter)
But, no, I'm here under m own volition. Y
I am here to dance.
He is actually here to pick her up.
(Paul) Les girls.
- Yeah. -(girls) Whoo!
We're looking for new beautiful girls and we were wondering if you knew any.
(laughter)
I'm kidding, I'm kidding. You're very, very beautiful, all of you.
(blows kisses) Sexy ladies!
You wouldn't think I was 35.
I'm here to tell you about the re-launch of Men Only.
Paul, how do you think Fiona feels about getting the sack?
I don't know how she felt. Um...
All I know is it's, of course, always unpleasant
when you have to fire somebody.
Is Men Only gonna become more pornographic?
It is not pornographic and it will never be pornographic.
Is Men Only degrading to women?
- No, it is not. -(chuckling)
(Paul) Oh, that's fabulous.
(Tony laughs)
(Tony) Yeah, that's good. That's great.
Think it could be a little more Sapphic?
He wants you to just lick her.
Turn round, Nicole, go down and...
That's it, yes!
(Paul) You're doing a great job, girls.
Let's have a quid pro quo.
Huh?
- He means, urn, the other way... - Do it for each other.
Yeah, do it for each other.
Little more sensual.
Can we get some, uh, Vaseline?
(cameraman) Yeah.
We don't want the jar in the shot.
Yeah, that's it.
(Paul) Excellent, yeah.
I do like the blue shoes.
(Chloe) I really like them.
- I want Tony to get me some. - Whatever colour, I don't mind.
I don't normally see the colour. They're usually behind my head.
- What, on a shelf? -(Tony laughs) No.
No, I can feel 'em, I just can't see 'em.
- Do you like these, Chloe? - I think it'd look better maybe
if there was two blondes, though, instead of the brunette.
I'm blond, we'll do it with me.
We could always do two blondes and then you in the middle or something.
- You like that idea, Tony? -(Tony) No.
- I do. -(Paul) You see,
she knows which side her bread's buttered.
And it wouldn't just be the bread that's buttered.
(Tony) on!
Have you seen Last Tango In Paris?
- I haven't. -(mimics Marlon Brando) Pass the butter.
Pass, pass... Pass the butter.
Hey, pass the butter. And the Worcester sauce.
Wouldn't the Worcester Sauce sting?
Precisely.
(normal voice) No, he wouldn't use a word like that, would he?
(mimics Marlon Brando) Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you got it.
-(laughs) -(Paul) Something like that.
(telephone ringing)
Hello.
Ward... Ward West 8.
- Straight up there on the right. - Thank you.
- He knows what he's doing? - Yeah...
Um, excuse me, I'm looking for Deborah Raymond.
- Oh, she's just through there, sir. - Thank you.
Hello. You must be Jonathan.
Yes. And you are?
- Paul... - Raymond.
Precisely.
Is she all right?
Uh, yeah, she's, er, sleeping at the moment. They gave her something.
(Paul) So, um, what happened? Enlighten me, please.
I heard a crash so I went to have a look.
Um, I found Debbie.
Her boyfriend lives in my block of flats.
Um, and she looked pretty messed-up
so I, er... brought her here, you know.
Well, thanks. Thank you.
Hi.
Good evening.
Have you met Jonathan, Pa?
(Paul) Yeah, we have been speaking, yes.
You know he rescued me, like a knight in a fairy tale?
Yeah. Sounds like you're severely concussed.
He writes songs.
He's going to write a song for me to sing.
That's the plan.
It's kismet.
I thought there was already a song called Kismet.
What songs have you written?
Uh, mainlyjingles for commercials.
I'm very good friends with the Beatles, apart from Yoko.
Ringo actually designed my, er, apartment.
Cool.
I thought you were going to be a theatre impresario like your Pa.
- What's happened with that? - Oh, I'm gonna do that as well.
You know, I can do whatever I like
because I'm feeling lucky.
(Debbie laughs)
Six, take one.
(interviewer) Some people will say you're only able to produce this play
because your father is Paul Raymond.
Pa's renting the theatre to us for a thousand quid a week.
J1 You and I have found a world
J1 Where dreams will come true
I could just sit around eating cake because I'm Paul Raymond's daughter,
but that's not my way, really.
I'm... I'm a worker.
Debbie is a very hard-working professional producer.
There's no doubt in my mind that...
Women Behind Bars will be a huge success.
J1 ...together, you and I...
(engineer) That's fantastic. Just some, uh, technical issues our end,
but you're sounding great.
'Cause people like you are like the slime at the bottom of the shower stall.
After a while, it gets so thick
all the Dutch cleanser in the world can't get it off.
If you don't love me, you don't love everybody.
(chuckles)
(Paul) I'd like to propose a toast to my new impresario
and my always-gorgeous leading lady.
- Cheers. -(all) Cheers.
I'd like to propose a toast of my own
to...
marriage and to Jonathan.
Thank you.
(waitress) Good evening, Mr Raymond. (Paul) Now, this is Jean.
(Paul) America suits you. Your tan's almost as deep as mine.
I'd have said it's twice as deep, actually.
- You like my hair'? -(Paul) Yes, very nice.
It's got a sort of a...
a Myra Hindley effect.
Say what you like about her, you know, she was a looker.
So, Howard, are you missing home?
America's more like home for me.
America's a big market for us now.
- Mmm. -Isn't it?
Tony's doing a really fantastic job.
He's really making quite a fortune
-which is great for us. So... -it's great. Yeah.
- Yeah. -(Howard) Yeah.
He's sort of like a son to Pa.
Howard, er... has made no secret of the fact
he's not particularly interested in the business.
- Not like you, Debbie, is he? - No, you prefer, sort of,
-playing tennis and... - Shame about your tits, really.
Otherwise you could work in the Revue Bar
or be in Men Only, like your friend.
Fiona?
- Whatever she calls herself now. - Yeah.
She's not in Men Only. Um... Pa sacked her, so...
Oh. I thought she sacked Dad.
No, you're wrong. I sacked her, so you're wrong about that.
- Yeah. - Okay, that's enough, you two.
Come along, we're supposed to be celebrating.
Y3)'-
(glass tinkling)
Thank you, thank you, thank you. Could I have your attention, please?
My name is Paul Raymond. I am the...
-(shushing) - Thank you. ...er, father of the bride.
- That's what you think. -(laughter)
Deborah, you look super, you've got a smashing figure,
and I'm very proud of you.
She may not be a double-D
but, to me, she'll always be three-D.
- My darling daughter Deborah. Ah. -(guests) Aw.
Someone came up to me earlier outside and said,
"I understand that the wedding cost in excess of £75,000."
I said, "Please don't talk about money, it's vulgar.
"And anyway," I added, "their wedding was actually closer to £95,000."
(scattered laughter)
(inhaling)
(sniffling)
J1 And put the freshness back
J1 Do the shake and vac...
- I love that! I love that. Oh! - Guilty as charged.
Hi.
(Jean) Don't call me Mum, call me Jean.
Well, you're very, very, very gorgeous
and I'm very proud to have you as my son-in-law.
- I can't believe you're my... - Am I interrupting you two?
- Huh? - Hi, Debs.
Hi.
Hi. I, um...
- What? - I'll see you later.
- See you later. - Yeah, see you later.
(Jonathan) She's great. (Debbie) She's unbelievable.
You should get a room, you two. Why don't you do that?
- You been dancing? - No, I haven't been dancing, Jonathan.
I've just been watching my mother dance with you.
(Jonathan) Don't be cross with me. It wasn't me that was...
I'm not cross, Jonathan. I'm not 14.
Welcome to the family, Jonathan.
-(softly) Cheers. - You've been welcomed.
Our condolences on this sad day.
(Jonathan chuckles)
This is more like a fucking funeral.
So, what are you doing later on?
Probably going to bed.
-(Paul) With me? - No.
-(Paul) Uh, alone? -(chuckles) Probably.
Mmm. I mean, my bed's too big to sleep in all by myself.
Well, that was always the problem, wasn't it?
I prefer a bed big enough forjust two people.
Oh.
You know what? I want you to have my children.
Seriously. They're outside in the car. You can take 'em now if you like.
(both laugh)
(wolf whistles)
Who is that foxy lady?
- Oh, it might be me. -(laughing)
You are looking absolutely sensational.
Oh, thank you very much.
Are you feeling very lonely now you've lost your girlfriend?
- Well, I can always get a girl. - Well, I certainly know that.
(Paul) No, seriously, you're looking better than ever.
Better than women half your age. That's a compliment, by the way.
Cheeky bugger.
Do I look good enough to be on the cover of Men Only?
If you want to be. Is that an offer?
Might be.
Are we ready, Mr Bailey?
(Paul) Hop on.
(Jean) Which way, backwards or forwards?
(Paul) Which way do you want to start?
I'm gonna do both, so...
Right, look back at me.
Take the bloody picture.
(camera clicking)
Where the hell is Tony, by the way? (stammers) There's no make-up artist.
No black and white film stock.
What's going on? What's wrong with him?
Oh, that's beautiful.
Desire me.
Oh, Golly gosh!
Change of scenery. Great.
Did you know Debbie's doing drugs?
- Who said that? - Well, is it true?
She's an adult. She can take care of herself.
(knocking on door)
Come in.
Anna, will you tell me the truth? You're another woman. Do I look red?
- You look gorgeous. - See?
I bet Fiona got hair and make-up.
-(Paul) Oh, darling, just... -(camera clicking)
Look at me. Look at me, darling. We know what's under there.
That's excellent. No love, just lust.
(Tony) lwish I had half your talent
for manipulating people.
-(Paul) Manipulate? - She must want you back. Doesn't she?
She doesn't want me back.
She just wants to show me that other men still desire her.
Yeah, well, I desire her. Fucking hell, look at that.
(Paul) I'm thinking of taking a year off.
- Oh, yeah? -(Paul) Going to live in a monastery
like a monk.
(Tony) What, Rasputin?
(inhaling)
- That's very good stuff. - Yeah. Only the best.
Yeah, it's not too, er... it's not too buzzy.
(Tony) He's good. He doesn't... he doesn't cut it with any shit.
(Tony) We need to shift up a gear, right.
The magazine needs to... needs to stay on top.
We've, uh... We're, you know... We've dropped down to third, second.
We're revving hard but we're stuck on a hill or...
I don't know, I don't know.
We've caught too many red lights or whatever.
We need to put the serious driving gloves on
because we don't... we don't want to get, you know...
we don't want to get blisters,
uh, gripping the wheel too hard whilst we're stuck...
Well, I think I know what you're talking about.
We need to be in the fast lane.
(TOW) Yes.
(overlapping chatter)
(inhaling)
I shouldn't bring my work home with me, you know, Tony, huh.
Eeny, meeny, miny, mo.
(laughing)
Can you not see I am making great art here?
(moaning)
(inhaling)
Well, it's not the neatest line I've ever set up!
That's fantastic.
A sort of albino Supremes.
Sort of Chicken Supreme.
Paul Raymond, a name once synonymous with sophistication,
has been accused by the Sunday Times of organising prostitution
from one of his clubs in Soho,
the Pink Pussycat.
(Paul) "Sex for sale."
I can't believe I bloody fell for it.
Nice picture of you.
"Squalid side of Raymond's Soho."
I am sorry, Paul.
Good morning.
How does it feel to be exposed as a common pimp?
Well, I'm going to go to court, and I will swear on a stack of Bibles
that these allegations bear no relation to the way I conduct my business
in any shape or form.
Not only do they ruin the reputation of one of London's finest districts,
but they also bring down property prices,
which I'm sure you'll understand that I do not want.
Club looks good.
-(Tony) Mmm. - Mmm.
- No, thanks. -(Paul on film) Repeat the conclusion...
This is quality.
(inhaling deeply)
...imagine that my face is the camera
and I would like you to splay your legs before the camera, my face.
(clears throat)
Superb.
(laughing)
- Is that funny? -(Tony) It's hilarious.
I'd love to see that girl's pussy
but there's an old man's head in the way.
-(Paul on film) That was excellent. - I love the gestures.
- They make you look like an air hostess. - Funny-looking air hostess.
"Doors to manual."
(Tony) That's your new bird, Di, is it?
- Yes. -(Tony) All right.
- Yeah, she's hot. - Thank you.
I'd fuck her.
Tony, please.
Let me know when you've finished with her, eh?
Right, stop the... stop the film.
Switch it off.
How many grams are you getting through a day?
Why?
Because you've got to stop. You're out of control.
(laughs) Bollocks. I do about half as much as you do.
(Paul) We both know that's rubbish.
And even if it were true, I don't turn up for work two days late.
I don't insult the staff.
Listen to me. I don't insult the staff. I don't upset advertisers.
And I certainly don't lose 10% of US sales of Club International.
And I don't have a boss because I am the boss.
Yeah, I like you, Tony, but you've got to clean up your act.
- And I'm telling you for your own good. - Who's gonna take over the magazines?
- Deborah. - No. (laughs)
No. No! Because she... she's a psycho-woman.
- You can't have a... - Whoa. Tony.
- That's enough. - No. She's up and down like a yoyo.
- She does twice as much coke as I do. -(Carl) No, she doesn't.
- Yes, she does. She's... - Tony...
No-one can stand her. She's talentless.
If you weren't bankrolling her she'd be nowhere. I'm sorry.
(Carl) Zip it! Enough.
I'm sorry, Paul, I know she's your daughter
but she is nothing like you. Nothing.
And she's nowhere near me.
- Carl? -(Carl) Yes, Paul?
Sack him.
- Wha... No, come on. - Tony...
Before long, I think she will take over the empire that I've built up.
But I wouldn't have said that once.
She was very badly behaved
and almost impossible to control.
But now I think she's found the right balance between work and play.
(Debbie) A lot of people still view him
as very hard-edged and quite a ruthless businessman, you know.
But, um..- Yeah, I mean, I don't see him that way. I'm his daughter.
So, as far as I'm concerned, he's my father and that's that, yeah.
(Paul) Now that Debbie has a child, I think she'll be a great mother
and I do hope that her child brings her as much pleasure as she has brought me.
(screaming)
(midwife) All right. Okay, just take the gas and air,
take the gas and air. Good girl. Good girl.
Breathe it in.
In through your nose and out through your mouth.
Can I have more pethidine?
(midwife) I can't give you any more just yet.
(groans) I'm really drug-tolerant. I need it, please.
-(midwife) I'm sorry, love. - Please.
Can you... Can you get the doctor?
- He's on the ward. - No, can you get the doctor, please!
(Debbie groaning)
All right, love, you're doing really well. You're doing great.
No, can you do me a line? Please, can I have a line?
- I really need it. - I can't do that.
- It's a hospital. -(sobs) No, please, I really need it.
(Paul) I'll do you a very, very, very small one.
(inhaling)
Hey, aren't you? Yes, you are.
(Carl) A-ha! There he is!
(laughs) The grandfather of Soho!
(all cheering)
(Carl) All hail the King!
Champagne for everyone.
(all cheering)
House champagne.
(laughter)
I'd like to propose a toast, please, to my new grand-daughter Fawn.
(all) To Fawn. (woman) Cheers.
- And, of course, my darling Deborah. -(woman) And darling Deborah.
- Evening, Mr Raymond. -(Paul) Good evening.
Evening, Michelle.
The hair never moves!
No matter what Thatcher does! And we're all watching!
Just locked, locked!
- Glued into position! -(laughter)
She could have gone to Brixton at the heart of the riots.
Paving stones would have bounced off it.
The cops could have held her as a battering ram.
The most insane head of hair. Oi!
Speaking of insane heads of hair,
it's our landlord, Paul Raymond.
Paul, how are you? Good to have you here.
Who are you out with tonight, Paul?
Is that one of your dancers or your daughter?
Daughter!
It doesn't matter, either way she's gonna end the night being wanked over.
(audience laughs)
What did he just say?
He owns all of this because he's a genius at turning that into that.
(audience laughs)
Very clever man. Built on spunk.
He is a fantastic father to me.
Um, he's my best friend, really.
I've kind of called him up over the years with problems
at 4:00 in the morning in ﬂoods of tears
and he's, um, he's always been there to listen
and pick up the pieces.
And he still does that now. (laughs)
Can you see what I'm doing, Pa?
(Paul) Just joining lots of lines of coke up in a big circle.
(Debbie) No, I'm not.
I'm making a big
It's not a "C" for "coke", Pa.
(inhaling)
Um...
I'm making a "C" for "cancer".
What are you talking about?
Er...
I've got breast cancer.
(Debbie sobbing)
-(Paul) It's gonna be all right. -(sobbing) What am I gonna do?
(Paul) It's okay.
What am I gonna do?
(Paul) Okay, we'll get treatment.
We'll get some treatment. It's gonna be all right.
(sobbing)
Would you describe him as a good father?
Yeah. He's a fantastic father.
I don't really know of too many other people
who have a relationship like the one that we do.
I think it's quite rare, yeah.
Okay, I think that's a good place to finish.
- Thank you. Happy? -(recordist) Yes, mate, sure thing.
Can you get Debbie's mic off, please?
Thanks very much, Paul. Thanks for having us.
Thank you. Thank you kindly, yes.
Sorry for interrupting your morning.
No, no, it's very illuminating.
(chuckling)
Can you tell these are fake on the camera?
Thank you. I wasn't looking too closely.
(laughter)
They used to be much, much smaller. I had to get them chopped off.
I got the Big C, and it's kind of ironic, really,
the business I work in, 'cause the other ones were too small.
- Weren't they, the other tits? - Well, no, they were fine.
Feel, it's really weird. They don't feel like...
Leave the poor man alone, darling.
-(chuckles) - Sorry.
Next time, maybe.
(laughs) Next time.
I thought I was... I thought I was very fair.
You were. I was nice about you, too, so we're even.
Well, I don't know, I think I was more nice about you.
- Goodnight, Lydia. -(Lydia) Night, Mr Raymond.
You want to get dinner or something?
No, I think I'm just gonna go and meet some friends
and go and get dinner out.
Give you a lift?
- No, I'm good. Thank you. Bye. - Okay. All right, my love.
That was very good. That was very good.
- Well done. Bye, darling. - Thank you, Pa. Love you. Bye.
Hello, Charles.
(inhaling deeply)
(Ainsley) Debbie arrived at my ﬂat.
She drank some vodka, and she snorted some cocaine.
She then said she wanted to try some heroin.
I'd never seen her do heroin before that night.
She snorted some heroin and sat on the bed.
When I woke up, I tried to wake her but she wouldn't wake up.
I thought she was joking.
I tried to wake her by putting her under the shower but she wouldn't wake up.
I took her back to the bed and gave her mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
And then I called Mr Raymond.
(Ainsley over phone) Hello. Mr Raymond?
-(Paul) Yes. Who's this? - Look, I'm a friend of Debbie's.
You need to come.
- Why, what's happened? - She's here at my ﬂat.
J1 Anyone who ever loved
J1 Could look at me
J1 And know that I love you
J1 Anyone who ever dreamed
J1 Could look at me
J1 And know I dream of you...
(Paul) Hello?
Hello. Are you Ainsley?
Yeah, yeah. I'm so sorry.
J1 Anyone who had a heart would take me in his arms
J1 And love me, too
(sobs)
J1 You couldn't really have a heart
J1 That hurt me like you hurt me
J1 And be so untrue
J1 What am I to do?
(sobbing) Debbie...
J1 Every time you go away
"Where, O death, is your victory?
"Where, O death, is your sting?"
For as much as it has pleased Almighty God
to take to himself the soul of our beloved Debbie,
we bear her body hence to the place prepared for it.
That ashes may return to ashes
and dust to dust.
(Edwyn) Who gives this woman in marriage to this man?
I do.
This is the first time I've ever given anything away
and it's the thing that is most precious to me.
J1 Love me, too
J1 You couldn't really have a heart
J1 That hurt me like you hurt me
J1 And be so untrue
J1 What am I to do?
J1 Knowing I love you so
J1 Anyone who had a heart...
-(Paul) Hello, Jean. - Hello.
- Hello.
- Do you remember me? - Yes.
Yeah? You've got big.
- Oh, is that your baby sister? - Yeah.
Oh, yes, this is India. This is her father, John.
-(lndia coos) - Hello.
Hi, gorgeous.
Well, don't spoil them like you did Debbie.
Nice to see you, Jean.
You know, all she ever wanted was to impress you.
To be strong like you.
To get everything she wanted, just like you.
But she never was you.
(stutters) This is not the right time.
No.
Never is with you.
Goodbye, Jean.
(Paul) Come on, let's go. Let's go.
I'll take Fawn. I'll see you later on, all right?
-31? -(Paul) Yes.
-(Fawn) 32? - Yes.
-36? - Yes.
Why do you buy so many houses, Grandpa?
They're not houses,
they're offices, shops, cafes, restaurants, clubs.
But why so many?
I bought them for your mummy.
For your mummy and you, and your little sister.
- I don't want them. - Why not?
I want my mummy.
I know. I know.
Now, this...
this is my favourite.
- Do you own it? - Yes, I do.
Do you fancy a cake?
- Yes, please, Grandpa. - Right.
Charles, will you take Fawn inside?
(Debbie singing) J1 The look of love
J1 Is in your eyes
J1 The look your heart
J1 Can't disguise
Can I have the berry cheesecake,
the strawberry mountain,
the cake with the almonds around it
and the marzipan figs?
I like this shop. Do you own it?
No. No, not yet.
Ah! So, what did you get?
Chocolate éclair.
- Thank you, Grandpa. - You're welcome, Princess.
J1 I can hardly wait to hold you
J1 Feel my arms around you
J1 How long I have waited
J1 Waited just to love you
J1 Now that I have found you
J1 You've got the look
J1 Of love
J1 It's on your face
J1 The look
J1 That time can't erase
J1 Be mine tonight
J1 Let this just be the start of so many nights like this
J1 Let's take a lover's vow and seal it with a kiss
J1 I can hardly wait to hold you
J1 Feel my arms around you
J1 How long I have waited
J1 Waited just to love you
J1 Now that I have found you
J1 Don't ever go
J1 I can hardly wait to hold you
J1 Feel my arms around you
J1 How long I have waited
J1 Waited just to love you
J1 Now that I have found you
J1 Don't ever go
J1 I love you so J1
(applause)
Thank you.
Subtitling: Deluxe Digital Studios