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Jaya Srivastav?
You want to do IVF without telling your husband?
Like I brought his sample for the test,
I'll bring more for the treatment.
Yes, Father-in-law?
How many times have I told you? I won't drink tea made by the cook.
I'll be home in ten minutes.
-Just ten minutes. Yes. Yes. -Back from the market in ten minutes?
-What are you saying? -No, I had just gone to the temple.
-Temple? Come home right now! -Yes, yes.
Jaya, do one thing. Bring your husband here.
-I will talk to him. -Ma'am, the child will obviously be his.
Why make him worry for nothing?
If I give him the good news when it happens, he'll think it's God's gift.
And that would be true, too.
We can try only if the sample reaches us immediately.
Even then, there's no guarantee.
Okay.
How much will it cost?
About five or five and a half lakh rupees.
If you're such a big store, offer big discounts too.
I'm buying three!
Look at this. We're offering you the best price.
Govind, I'm leaving now. Lock up the shop.
Why so early today?
I have some important work.
I'm off.
Rahul4clicks is asking, "Where is jiju today?"
Just one trick to make jiju show up.
#JijuMayIGo?
Hi, Sushis!
-#JijuMayIGo? -#JijuMayIGo?
Funny Akhil writes, "Are you two just friends?"
Funny Nikhil! A brother-in-law and sister-in-law can never be "just friends."
Shruti Chats comments,
"So disgusting! Do you make dirty videos with your father too?"
Has your father taught you trolling?
Yapping like a bitch! Shruti, ass-licker! And I'm the disgusting one?!
-Hey, quiet. -I'm disgusting?!
Quiet. Calm down.
No need to act in a live session!
Trash-talking my father isn't disgusting?
I'll rip out your tongue and throw it to the crows!
You bloody--
I will not spare you!
Lay out the dinner.
The boys are starving.
Bhabhi, roti!
Coming right up!
BLOODY DRAB THE HALF WIFE
SHAMELESS DESPERATE
ADARSH COLONY
Bhabhi, roti!
A mansion empty, a woman lonely!
Who can solve this mystery?
Tonight, we uncover a shocking truth in the murder case
that shook the city.
KHALBALI
At the center of this mystery was a femme fatale
who could bewitch any man with a single glance.
On that hot summer night, when she stepped out of a cool bath,
even the walls started to sweat.
That night, like every other night,
-she was alone at home. -Hello?
But tonight, she was expecting someone.
-Is Papa asleep? -Yes, he's asleep.
Should I serve dinner?
Not now.
At least wash your hands before bringing the glass.
Hi, Sushis!
-#JijuMayIGo? -#JijuMayIGo?
Funny Akhil writes, "Are you two just friends?"
Funny Nikhil! A brother-in-law and sister-in-law can never be "just friends."
Hello?
-Jaya! Jaya! -Mummy?
What happened? Are you crying?
I'm scared. I'm so scared.
-You and Sushma-- Where's Sushma? -Wait a minute.
Manas is sleeping. Hold on…
Call her!
-I need to talk to both of you. -Wait. I'll go inside so we can talk.
It's very urgent.
Hold on, Mummy.
Just told you, Manas is sleeping.
Can't you wait for two minutes?
Where's Sushma?
I need to talk to both of you.
Sushma doesn't live here anymore.
You know she left after a fight with my father-in-law.
Do that thing with her, which makes that thing happen.
What thing?
That thing where everyone can do it together!
Conference?
Yes, conference!
I'm not going to call her. If you want to speak to her, call her yourself.
Please do it for my sake!
It's very urgent!
Mummy, stop being dramatic.
-I said I'm not going to call her. -I'm being dramatic?!
Stop shouting. It's hurting my ears.
I'll die if you don't call her. You'll be happy then?!
Fine, I'll call her!
-I'm calling her. Wait. -Call her quickly! Hurry!
What is it?
Mummy wants to talk to both of us.
Why?
How would I know?
Mummy, Sushma's on the line. Now speak!
Sushma!
-Sushma! Sushma, I'm very scared! -Yes, Sushma's here! Tell us!
Both of you, get over here! Leave immediately!
-What did you say? -I said, leave immediately!
You expect me to jump or fly in from Patna right now?
My mind is not working.
My hands are shaking.
-I can't even hold the phone. -What is shaking?
Last month, I ate an egg on a Monday. Am I getting punished for that?!
Egg?
Spare me this time. I'll never touch it again, I swear.
Mummy, is your stomach upset?
Why do I always get into trouble like this?
I've tied a noose around my own neck, Sushma!
Finish crying, and then call me. I'm hanging up.
-No, don't hang up! -You two, speak one at a time!
-Let me talk! -That's what I'm saying.
-I'm not joking! -Will you keep quiet?
Why should I keep quiet?
-I won't keep quiet! -You keep quiet!
You keep quiet.
-You keep quiet. -You keep quiet!
You keep quiet! Mummy, this is why I didn't want to call her!
Will you two please listen to me?
I'm telling you I can't handle this alone!
What are you saying? I can't understand a word.
Speak clearly. Why are you wailing like a banshee at two in the morning?
Will you speak?
Gupta ji…
He…
He is done.
What is done?
He… he is dead!
Gupta ji, our neighbor?
Yes.
Suddenly?
Did he have a heart attack?
How many times have I told you? Do yoga. Walk regularly.
You may look young, but a blocked artery can cause a heart attack in anyone.
-Do you understand-- -Hey, Jaya!
Stop blabbering! I'll slap you!
Mummy, if our neighbor Gupta ji has died,
why are you so upset?
He died in our house!
But, Mummy, why are you crying?
Mummy, what exactly happened?
Hey, Mummy!
Mummy, I'm shaking too!
In our house? How?
-Mummy… -Please come quickly, Jaya, Sushma.
Rekha was only 22 years old when,
in a saree yellower than jaundice, with flowers redder than blood,
she first came into Adarsh Colony, as a bride.
THE MYSTERY OF REKHA
Railway Officer Sukumar never let anyone know where he found a bride
as beautiful as Rekha.
But the secret was revealed by
Rekha's sleeveless blouse.
We are ruined! Destroyed!
Mummy! Aunty, listen! Mummy!
Rekha's gaze, sharper than Tipu Sultan's sword,
scanned all men like they were QR codes.
And suddenly, a storm erupted!
Residents of the colony claim that
the weather in Adarsh Colony hasn't been the same since then.
Like sudden, unseasonal rain,
the newlywed witch's lustful gaze
fell upon her neighbor, Charitra Kumar Gupta.
Gupta ji, an earnest accountant, pious, fitness freak,
and an ideal family man,
sensed Rekha's lecherous nature on the very first day.
But for the sake of his childhood friend Sukumar,
poor Charitra Kumar Gupta ji
swallowed the bitter pill and said nothing.
When Jaya was born in the seventh month of their marriage,
Rekha's true nature came to light.
With every passing day, Rekha's antics became more outrageous.
It is said that Sundays were particularly trying for the colony.
She very well knew
that when her delicate fingers touched Sukumar's bare body,
a current ran through every innocent man in the colony.
And one day, that current surged into a 440-volt shock
that shook the entire colony to its core!
It was no secret that Sukumar had borrowed money from Gupta ji some years ago,
keeping his house as collateral.
If Gupta ji had wanted, he could have evicted Rekha
and thrown her out of the colony.
But his tender heart, soft as bottle-gourd pudding, wouldn't let him.
Shameless woman.
Years passed, age caught up, but only for the colony residents.
It is believed that witches do not age.
Even today, Rekha is the same as she was on her first day as a bride,
when she planted marigolds in her garden.
Jaya!
Hey, Jaya! How come you're here all of a sudden?
You didn't even call! What a pleasant surprise!
Come.
Everything should appear normal.
Don't overdo it.
Not there!
That sofa has a broken leg.
How did it happen?
The other day, when I moved it to sweep the floor, the leg snapped off in my hand.
I'm asking about Gupta ji!
Oh!
-Last night, I-- -Mummy!
Surprise!
Everything should appear normal.
Shall I make tea?
I can't do stitching and embroidery at this age.
Even in my youth, I couldn't sew a button for your fathers.
I just can't do it.
What are you blabbing about?
Who's asking you to do stitching and embroidery?
They make women do stitching and embroidery in jail, don't they?
-Or make pickles and papad? -Shut up!
You won't go to jail.
Why? Is her father the Chief Justice?
Mummy, will you tell her?
Will you, Mummy?
If you say anything about my father, I'll knock your--
Will you tell us what happened?
It was around 10:00 or 10:30 p.m.
It was the third commercial break of Khalbali.
He came and rang the doorbell.
I asked, "Who is it?"
He said, "It's me."
I asked, "What is the matter, Gupta ji?"
He seemed to say something about a bed, but I didn't hear it clearly.
My ears have been ringing a little these days, Sushma.
I thought there was a wedding at their house,
and maybe he needed extra mattresses for the guests.
As soon as I opened the door,
he barged right in. And…
and he started misbehaving with me, Jaya.
I backed into the house, and he followed me in!
I asked, "What are you doing, Gupta ji?"
Suddenly, he neighed like a horse and pounced on me!
I pushed him hard, and he crashed into Grandma's steel cupboard.
The handle went right up his backside.
He jumped, and his foot got stuck in a stool below.
As he fell, he tried to grab the curtain, but it came off in his hands.
The curtain rod fell on his head, and then he, the curtain, and the rod,
all three hit the floor with a thud!
He hit his skull on the grinding stone, and he…
died.
He forced himself on you?
Look, if you did it in self-defense…
then just tell the police.
Bravo.
Sure, Mummy, say that a deer came hunting a lion,
and the entire colony will believe it!
If you listen to this goody-two-shoes, you'll be done for!
Who's talking to you?
I'm not talking to you either. My face is turned this way, looking at Mummy--
Hey!
Stop with your sisterly love, you two!
I'm so scared, it's giving me gas!
We are not calling the police.
Then what will we do?
I…
have a killer idea.
Look, he's dead already.
Tonight, let's wrap him up in a blanket
and throw his body into the Hathiya canal.
What did you say?
Is this why you asked me to bring the car?
Is this an episode of Khalbali to you?
Khalbali is also based on true events.
A man has died in your house, and you want to dump him in the Hathiya canal!
Is he stale chicken?!
What else do we do?
Call five priests and get him cremated?
But, Mummy…
won't she look for him through the day?
Gupta Aunty!
Stop honking! I'm coming.
I think Gupta ji left early for his morning walk.
I didn't even wake up to his gargling today.
Whose car is this?
Has she caught a new prey?
The elder daughter has come.
Greetings, bhabhi ji!
-Greetings! -What's the matter?
Gupta ji didn't come for his morning walk today.
Wow!
My Babul is studying so hard early in the morning!
Bravo!
-Where's your father, dear? -I have no idea.
I've told him so many times not to eat cabbage at night. But he never listens.
He's just as stubborn as his mother.
Hey, Goldie! Are you still sleeping?
Her wedding is around the corner, but Her Highness doesn't wake up before nine!
Do you want to make me a laughingstock at your in-laws'?
I slept late last night.
What?
I slept late last night!
Whispering all night with your face buried into the phone!
I know everything.
One day, you'll end up swallowing your phone, I'm telling you!
Then you'll roam around like a python with a phone in your throat!
Why do you have to talk so much?
Can't you wait until after the wedding?
Why are you telling me? Tell my fiancé.
He…
just doesn't let me hang up.
Yes, dear. Now he won't let you hang up. Later, he won't even pick up.
Check over there!
-Hey, find it quickly! -I'm looking for it, Mummy!
-Check his pocket. -I'm not sticking my hand in his pocket!
-Don't push me! -Sushma, keep looking!
-Check over there! Why are you just-- -Found it!
Here it is!
Listen, where are you?
Why aren't you answering your phone? You always put it on airplane mode.
Data, data, data! Will you carry your data into the afterlife?
Seems the dose I gave you last night wasn't enough.
I told you we're not inviting your beloved Lalita to the wedding.
That's final. Understand?
They must have had a big fight.
Why aren't you answering, Charitra Kumar Gupta ji?
I can see the blue tick.
Why are you just standing there? Hurry up!
DID YOU SEE REKHA'S?
Father-in-law, I'm sorry. Mummy suddenly fell very sick last night.
-Oh, really? -Yes.
I'll consult the doctor and come back tomorrow.
Tomorrow?!
Of course, if you had kids, you wouldn't have left like this.
Now what can I say? This is what your mother has taught you…
Jaya Sukumar Sinha?
-Hello? -You live in Patna, right?
Yes.
-You're here to meet your mother? -Yes.
-When did you arrive? -Just… this morning.
-When? -This morning, sir.
-Come with me. -Sir, please hear me out.
-Come on! I don't want to hear anything! -Sir, please just--
Sir, just listen to me once.
Come on. Treat me to some aloo chaat from Tiwari's.
What?
You still don't recognize me?
It's me, silly!
Maheshwari!
Maheshwari…
You scared me!
-Are you part of a theater company? -Hey…
I'm an inspector now, Jaya.
Shut up!
It's been six years and forty-six days since I last saw you.
How are you?
All good.
Manas…
he's great.
I'm very happy.
Well, that's very good.
What else does one need?
Hey, you!
Are you trying to burst people's eardrums?
No manners at all.
Oh, Sushma's here too!
Aunty, greetings!
Greetings!
Lovely! Both your daughters are visiting together!
Yes, they gave me a surprise!
Pleasant surprise.
Maheshwari!
The wedding tent lights will be put up today, right?
It's your own niece's wedding.
Jiji, I'm getting it done!
You'll be here for a few days, right?
-Yes… -I have some work.
Sushma, there's an all-night celebration tonight.
Tonight?
Yes. Jijaji had made a wish for Goldie's wedding.
Aunty, Sushma! Do come for a while.
It'll go on all night.
Tonight, let's wrap him up in a blanket,
and throw his body into the Hathiya canal.
Aunty, hurry up! The groom's father is coming.
Don't be late!
Bhabhi ji, where's Gupta ji?
He was right outside. Didn't you see him?
Gupta ji has really crossed the line this time.
God knows where he is sulking at the time of the wedding!
-Bhabhi. -Yes?
I don't see Gupta sahab anywhere.
He's right inside. Go in and see him.
Sneak the body out during the celebration.
Wow, what an idea!
How was I to know it's an all-night celebration?
It's not like I get invited by anyone in this colony.
No, not that one. That's from my wedding.
That brown one.
Yes. It's ripped. Get that one out.
Mummy, I need some money.
Take it from my purse.
I need about five and a half lakh rupees.
What do you need so much for?
Mummy!
Gupta Aunty has messaged again!
It's personal, I'll tell you later.
Look at this.
What?
It's a celebration for your daughter's wedding. Don't you have any shame?
The Dhikchik Bhajan manager has asked me four times.
Get here right now, or I'll break your legs and hand them back to you!
The groom's family is almost here.
Please come back. I won't say a word, I promise.
If you don't come, I'll hang myself from the bedroom fan!
You two have no shame, do you?
Cackling away!
Where have you kept the warm clothes and blankets? Take them out!
So I can cover your mess.
I humbly request all of you, ladies and gentlemen, to turn your attention
from gossiping about mothers-in-law and T20 cricket to the Lord's service.
Oh, he's so funny.
Abhishek, will your father-in-law attend the wedding at least?
Or should I not expect any hospitality and respect there either?
RAILWAY DEPARTMENT 1995 SUKUMAR SINHA
I'm not going to touch him.
Me neither.
He'd go for morning walks every day…
and stuff his face with samosas on the way back!
-Lift him from here. Grab the thigh. -That's what I'm doing!
-Lift him properly. -You think you know better, huh?
-Do you know better? -I know better than you.
-What do you know? -I know everything!
You'll end up with his leg in your hands!
-Hey! -He's dead anyway!
Grab him by the thigh or the knee, just lift him!
Or I'll come there and slap you! Lift him!
My right arm hurts. You take this side. Come here.
You're always hurting!
I'll break your face.
-Shall I break yours? -Shall I break yours?
Hey!
Lift!
-One, two, three… -One, two, three…
Drag him to the left, Mummy. Very good. Come on.
Pull harder! Hurry!
Drag him like this.
Why don't your hands work as hard as your tongue?
There are just two legs. You've got one, she's got the other.
-What should I do? -Just stop talking! I'm warning you!
Come on.
Come on, Mummy. Good, very good.
Lift…
Damn! What oil does he use? Smells terrible!
Sushma! Why did you let go?
He… he just sneezed!
What rubbish?
I'm telling the truth. He sneezed loudly.
Is this a joke to you?
Hey, Jaya, take a look.
I'll check.
Did he sneeze?
With her jet-black eyes…
Ghost! No. It's not a ghost!
He's alive! He's alive! My God, he's alive!
Oh my God! He's alive!
He's alive!
Rekha ji…
He's singing!
The young bride leaves her father
-With a silver coin tied up in her veil -She sings so well!
Holding back her tears
In eyes full of youthful innocence
She looks out at the world
The gilded cage is broken
Smearing kohl around her eyes
Your darling girl leaves
Did Papa respond?
Your anklets make a merry chime
The world's a graveyard, yet you shine
You truly shine
The darkness is dense and chaotic The rider trembles atop his mule
Tie up the good men And unchain the devil
This life is an illusion The body is but a garment
Your pride and honor are all A tiny speck of dust
Open the cage, open the cage Open the cage, open the cage
Break your shackles, take flight Don't fear the end
Open the cage, open the cage Open the cage, open the cage
Why are you tying him up?
Mummy, why are you tying--
-Why are you tying him up? -Hey, get back!
It's a head injury. Why are you tying him up? Call the doctor--
Step back, Jaya!
We need to take him to the doctor. Have you lost your mind?
-He's unconscious. -Mummy!
If he wakes up, we'll be in trouble. Get back!
-Mummy! -Have you gone mad?
-Why don't you just listen-- -Mummy!
What?!
Did you message Gupta ji last night?
What… what message?
Card games… with a question mark!
Me?
Message him?
Oh, yes…
I did.
I thought we'd play a few rounds.
Did he think "card games" was a code word?
But I only called him to play card games. Really!
Card games?
With Gupta ji?
You couldn't find anyone else to play card games with this late at night?
Who else could I have played with?
Tell me. Who could I have played with?
Is there any woman in this colony who is my friend?
Does anyone ever talk to me?
Have you seen anyone talk to me?
Even now, every day, a new rumor about me spreads through the colony.
Everyone is just waiting for me to sell this house and leave.
And you too are judging your mother!
Have you ever thought about how lonely I feel?
I was 25 years old when your father got electrocuted.
I've been alone ever since.
If you've been alone since then, where did Sushma come from?
Her father also came to play "card games" with you.
Handed us this joker and fled!
Didi! Don't say anything about my father,
-or I'll hit you! -Have you ever seen him?!
Mummy! Tell me the truth. Why did you call Gupta ji at night?
Yes. Tell us.
The mind wanders distracted. The soul remains stuck in the rut of life.
Everyone's boarding pass will be issued one day.
And as soon as they land above,
at the arrival gate, the Lord will smile gently,
and say…
What will He say? What will He say, brothers?
I took some money from the wine shop.
You know that Gupta ji takes care of the shop's accounts.
He comes on the 10th of every month. This time, he came early.
I tried to explain…
"I didn't steal. I've just borrowed.
I'll return it.
Please don't tell my boss,
or I'll lose my job."
He said, "No!
I'll tell him tomorrow itself."
I thought…
I should request him once again.
That's why I invited him on the pretext of playing card games.
It was the third commercial break of Khalbali.
He came…
and started misbehaving with me.
I asked, "What are you doing, Gupta ji?"
All of a sudden, he neighed like a horse and pounced on me!
I pushed him hard, and he crashed into Grandma's steel--
Right up his backside.
Then he fell. The curtain came off in his hands.
He tripped, hit his skull on the grinding stone, and he…
still didn't die.
How much money have you taken?
-About five and a half lakh rupees. -What!
About five and a half lakh.
Why did you need so much money?
I needed it.
It's personal.
There's nothing personal in this scandal, okay? Just tell the truth!
You've been gambling again, haven't you?
-What? -Gambling!
Well, yes. I have. But money is not an issue.
I won this time.
I'll put the money back in two days.
But what if he tells on me before that?
So what are you going to do? Throw a living man into the canal?
I have a killer idea.
Open the cage, open the cage Open the cage, open the cage
Open the cage…
Listen, Mummy. Please spare me.
Hey, Jaya! Wait! She's going!
Open the cage, open the cage Open the cage, open the cage
Open the cage…
Wait, hear me out.
After I put the money back, he won't have any proof.
We just need to keep him comfortable here for two days.
Let him keep sleeping.
Open the cage, open the cage Open the cage, open the cage
I went through 52 hours of labor to have you!
And now, in my time of need, you're abandoning me!
Open the cage, open the cage
Hey, Jaya! Jaya, please listen to me!
You need money, don't you?
Open the cage, open the cage Open the cage, open the cage
Jiji!
Madam, don't you need milk today?
-Don't I look awesome? -Amazing, really.
-Show me the other one. -The one with the coat? Here, look.
-Zoom in. -Hey, Goldie! Come inside!
A bride should stay away from the evil eye!
Coming, Mummy!
Get inside!
Yeah, coming!
What was she asking you?
She congratulated me. So I showed her photos of my fiancé.
You've got gold teeth, but your brain isn't worth even brass!
"I'm not coming back. Get your daughter married on your own."
-Oh, God! -What happened?
I've been telling you since yesterday, it's the evil eye.
These three have cursed you!
You showed her the photos just now,
and this message came from your father right away!
"I'm not coming back. Get your daughter married on your own."
-Meaning? -Shut up!
His phone's switched off now.
Please try again later.
The number you have dialed…
Where's my wallet?
Where are my slippers?
-Where are my slippers? -Mummy!
Mummy, where are you going?
To meet the sorcerer.
I need to find an antidote.
She's been jealous of you since childhood.
She already ruined your face, now she won't even let you get married.
No one will marry her after her scandal!
The kiss lasted just five minutes,
but even five years later, people still remembered it.
SUSHMA'S KISSING SCANDAL
The kiss lasted just five minutes,
but it was viewed more than five thousand times!
The kiss lasted just five minutes,
but it left behind an everlasting scandal!
Sushma was desperate to become viral.
She coaxed her five-day-old boyfriend into making a five-minute kissing video
that surpassed Raja Hindustani's legendary mark,
and shamelessly uploaded it on social media
with the caption, "The Five-Minute Smooch."
The boyfriend got such a thrashing at home
that he broke up with Sushma in the comments section!
Witch!
The people of the colony went to Charitra Kumar Gupta ji,
the moral custodian of society, demanding justice.
Your daughter has crossed all limits!
What are you saying, Gupta ji?
To protect the honor of the boys in the colony,
Gupta ji requested Rekha to leave the colony.
He even offered to buy her house.
-She shot a lip-to-lip kissing scene. -Bad girl!
-The video is going viral! -Get out of my house!
-Get out! -The video is fake!
To defuse the tension,
Rekha pretended to kick Sushma out and sent her straight to Jaya's house.
But Sushma had now tasted blood.
Even at her sister's house, she caused a sensation!
-#JijuMayIGo? -#JijuMayIGo?
So sad.
His daughter's wedding festivities are happening there,
and he's sprawled here like a freshly bathed buffalo!
But Jaya's idea of using cough syrup is brilliant.
She drinks it herself too.
When she can't sleep.
-She has trouble sleeping? -Yes.
Your mother-in-law never even looked out the window without my permission.
And you just took off in a car without telling me!
You've got some serious nerve! You…
Father-in-law, I'll call you back. Mummy! Mummy!
Mummy! Gupta Aunty is here.
Gupta Aunty!
-Namaste, Aunty. -Jaya! When did you come?
Aunty, I just…
Greetings, Rekha ji.
You didn't come yesterday.
The Dhikchik Bhajan Boys were spellbinding!
I've brought some sacred sweets. My daughter is getting married.
Let's bury the hatchet and move on.
Have some sweets.
Here you go.
Goldie's father
personally supervised and got these made in pure ghee.
Please give me some water.
Hey, Jaya.
You haven't gained an ounce.
You've maintained yourself beautifully, just like your mother.
Ask your mother to add some ice to the water.
It's very hot.
Sushma, tell your mother not to add too much ice.
Otherwise, I'll catch a sore throat.
Go.
-Mummy! Don't add too much-- -Hey!
You're raising your voice at your mother? Go inside and tell her.
Go!
-Fine, I'll go. -No, Aunty. I'll go.
Mummy, I'm coming!
Cough syrup.
-Water! -Yes, water.
The toilet's that way, right?
Suddenly?
Urge is always sudden, isn't it? Please move.
Your house is right across.
But I'm here now, so let me go.
I just can't go anywhere else.
-Me too. -It's the same with me.
Well, I can go anywhere. Move!
Aunty, flush-- The flush is broken.
Yes, right.
-Yes, it smells really bad. -It smells so bad in there, Aunty!
-It stinks! -I'll just use a mug!
Mummy! Mummy!
What is it?
Abhishek's mother called and said she needs to speak to you urgently.
I think she found out that Papa--
I'm coming!
Come on! She's on hold.
Jijaji? In the house across?
Did you see him?
I smelled him.
What?
Gosh!
I can recognize the stench of his lizard oil anywhere!
That Massage Queen has bewitched and captured him!
She just won't let anything good happen in our home.
I warned you, don't even let their shadow touch you, and you went straight inside!
Why do you bear a grudge against those three innocent women?
Innocent women?
The man who bribed the police to get you a job is missing,
and you feel sorry for those "innocent" women?
Very good, Maheshwari!
What are you gawking at, fool?
Go under the pretext of meeting Jaya and report back to me!
I've given birth to a fused bulb!
Pull, pull, pull!
Careful, pull harder. Don't let him get hurt.
Go straight, Mummy.
After last night's humming, not a single fart has come out of him.
Hurry up. Go straight. Keep pulling.
Come on.
Go on. Pull.
We're done for!
Jaya?
Sushma?
Aunty?
That Gupta hag must have sent him to arrest us!
Where are they?
-Aunty? -We're definitely going to jail.
Hey, buckethead! Sushma! Come here!
Boo!
Jaya! You scared me, silly!
You still get startled like a pigeon!
Shut up!
I've been ringing the doorbell. Why aren't you opening the door?
I didn't hear it ring.
I'll open it.
Come on.
Tell me something.
Has your sister allowed you to enter our house?
What do you mean by "allow"?
I'll sit back and sip tea today.
I'm not the same timid Maheshwari I was back in school, Jaya.
I see!
Listen.
Would you…
take me to school?
-Please? -Let's go.
Stupid creaky door!
Sushma, keep that flowerpot here.
What a killer idea!
Pull!
Jhumpa, Tumpa. Take care of yourselves.
Looks like she hasn't opened the room since that day.
School should never have ended.
You certainly tried hard.
If you hadn't helped me, I wouldn't have passed that year either.
Jijaji would have made me work in his father's cowshed.
Aunty looked rather angry.
You must have so much to do for the wedding, and I've dragged you here.
She usually takes her anger out on those around her.
Has something happened?
Can't hide anything from you.
She and Jijaji have had a massive fight.
He's been missing for two days, sulking somewhere.
So she's trampling over everyone like a mad elephant.
Where could he have gone at the time of the wedding?
He has a few "extracurricular activities."
Really?
He'll come back.
How come you decided to stay over this time?
Fear of the police.
Jaya, the crafty player!
Since childhood, Jaya had tried to show the world
that she may have inherited her mother's beauteous face,
but not her devious character.
But can the apple fall too far from the tree?
Take this.
JAYA THE CRAFTY PLAYER
Listen. Stay here, okay?
When Jaya's childhood friend, Roti Agnihotri,
received a marriage proposal from a wealthy family in Patna,
Jaya turned up to help.
If sources are to be believed, when Roti Agnihotri
was telling her future in-laws about her hobbies,
Manas was suddenly struck by nature's call.
And Jaya revealed her hidden talents.
Jaya!
You're mistaken, Roti. She did this! Mummy, Papa, I didn't do anything!
It's her fault!
Roti Agnihotri and Manas were a match made in heaven.
But the wily Jaya broke it apart with a pinch of flour.
Once again, the people turned to Gupta ji
-for justice. -The girl you chose for your son
is a tigress who preys on cows!
But it was too late.
The soft bread had already stuck to the hot pan!
Jaya!
She's a witch, man!
Jaya!
JAYA THE CRAFTY PLAYER
Oh! When did you get here?
This is Maheshwari. He was my classmate in school.
Namaste, Manas ji.
Where were you?
I…
I went to get some medicine.
I ran into him on the way, and he offered me a ride home.
Come inside.
DANGER
Sush…
where had your sister gone?
I just told you.
Did I ask you?
Sush…
tell me.
Didi had gone to get some medicine.
Medicine…
Sush!
You didn't ask me before leaving either.
"Jiju, may I go?"
You showed up unexpectedly.
Why? Have I disturbed you by coming here?
-No, that's crazy! -Then?
The papers for the new business deal are lying in the car's trunk.
Both parties are waiting to sign.
Papa cursed me out and sent me here. I had to take the bus.
I made a mistake.
And didn't you say your mother was on the verge of death?
She's right here in front of me, completely fine.
Fit and fresh!
I give you all the freedom you want.
And you still lie to me?
-No, I didn't lie-- -Listen, Jaya!
You can't hide anything from me.
Tell me the truth. Why have you come here?
Jaya.
Tell him.
No, tell him.
He's family. What's there to hide from him?
Tell him your mother called at midnight, bawling about
how lonely she is!
She doesn't even call to check if I'm alive or dead!
-Mummy, why are you crying? -Come here.
Calm down, Mummy!
-Please calm down. Stop crying. -Why are you crying?
-Mummy! -Give her some water. Drink some water.
It's okay.
I'm mad at you too.
Mad at me?
Have you ever thought that your mother-in-law is all alone
and that you should visit her?
Alright, fine. Please don't cry.
Take care of her. Listen, please. Whose loss is it?
Mine, isn't it?
I never got my mother-in-law's affection. My loss, isn't it?
-Exactly. You're my elder son-in-law. -Yeah.
I'm both the elder and the younger.
Next time you come over,
I'll make you some kadaknath chicken.
Kadaknath?
-You make kadaknath chicken? -It tastes amazing!
Is that so? So why wait until next time? I'll stay today.
He has sprawled out!
No, Manas, let's go home. The deal papers--
Father-in-law is waiting in a rage. Let's go.
Father-in-law! Father-in-law! Father-in-law!
I'll talk to my father! Wait.
Kadaknath!
You called him here, didn't you?
I didn't call anyone!
Greetings, Papa. Greetings.
If you didn't call him, how did he show up here?
Then again, why would you need to call anyone?
People just come and latch onto you themselves.
Since you're such a queen bee.
There's something Jaya didn't tell me.
The house of hers…
It's a great property, Papa!
Why did Mummy have to be so dramatic?
"I'm so lonely."
We'll get great buyers, Papa.
Yes.
I'll arrange a rented room for her in Patna.
Yeah!
What else could I say? If I asked him to leave, wouldn't he get suspicious?
Yes. No, I'll be back tomorrow. I'll sort this out in a day.
Okay. Goodbye.
Papa has been handled.
Glad?
Now no one will sleep tonight.
The fun will go on all night!
What will we do?
Card games.
You're rather fond of eating and drinking.
I'm fond of a lot of things.
Jaya…
deal another hand.
Mother-in-law's luck is on fire today.
Every loss will be recovered.
I'll be back in a bit.
Manas, wait!
All your windows and doors are jammed.
That's not the toilet.
Jiju, that's the kitchen!
Hey, Jaya. Get some water-- I mean oil.
I'm going to lubricate this.
No, how can I make my son-in-law do such work?
You can use the toilet upstairs. Come.
Jaya, take him along. And let him sleep in the room upstairs.
I'm getting really sleepy myself.
I've been trying to call for two days, but I can never get through.
First, you listen to me.
Gupta ji is not dead. Yes, he's alive.
The girls think that I've gambled.
Yes. Now listen.
Wow!
I have a killer idea.
Hello?
Mummy!
Hey, where's Jalal's chicken shop…
All by yourself?
How the hell did you two close it?
It's jammed.
Gupta ji won't soil himself in there, will he?
-Do coma patients pee and poop, Sushma? -Listen.
-You bought the chicken? -No.
I'll get the chicken.
Listen. Who lives opposite your house?
-Gupta ji? -Yes, Gupta ji.
-He's missing. -What are you saying?
Someone has kidnapped him.
They got a call last night. Someone's demanding ransom.
Ransom?
Goldie, tell me everything from the start. Okay? Don't cry.
I answered the phone.
At first, there was no sound, Uncle.
Then suddenly, they said, "If you want Gupta ji alive,
go to the end of Gurda Gali
and place five to five and a half lakh rupees in a bag
on the garbage dumpster. Or else…
we will make Gupta ji disappear!"
Just tell me, is he worth that kind of money?
If it were me, I'd have bargained for a lower price.
When do we have to pay?
Tonight at 2:00 a.m.
Tonight?!
No!
Mummy, let's just wait a few days, alright?
Let Papa die, and let my marriage be called off!
Goldie, please focus.
Was it a woman's voice or a man's?
The person was speaking in a deep voice, so I can't say for sure.
Damn it. Did you hear any other sounds?
Traffic, temple bells?
Monkeys!
Something like that?
No.
I thought he was sulking somewhere, like always.
I've been telling you since yesterday to find him.
But you're too busy playing Amit from Silsila.
Hey!
Don't say such nonsense in front of the kids.
Right now, I'm not your brother. I'm the station in charge.
Station in charge!
Why would those women ask for ransom?
Why is her son-in-law visiting her for the first time after all these years?
It's a full-fledged plan.
Think about it, Sherlock!
Are you high?
You scared him! My baby is scared!
His father is missing, and he's sucking on mangoes! Idiot!
Shut up, Goldie!
I'll slap you! Keep quiet!
If colony residents are to be believed, Rekha was always lusting after money.
After Sukumar's death, she ran many shady businesses from home,
under the pretext of paying off her debts.
It's said that for her first business,
Rekha teamed up with a guard on a goods train to steal nighties.
Did smuggling not satisfy this wanton woman?
Was she running a drug cartel masquerading as a tiffin service
for bachelors, lonely men, and widowers?
What was inside Rekha's lunchboxes, no one could say for sure.
Hey, hey!
When she was done with drug dealing, she started Rekha's Cyber Cafe.
It became so popular that the debt was cleared in just a few months.
It is said that Rekha's Cyber Cafe let people watch dirty videos.
This lured many men, who were seen entering the cyber cafe…
but never coming out.
Many victims of the man-eater Rekha are said to be buried
under her bed of marigolds.
SCANDAL
Was Rekha's real business taking ransom?
Manas will be back any moment.
I'm asking you one last time, who demanded the ransom?
Are you crazy? Why would I ask for ransom?
So, is this your doing?
N, O… No!
I think Mrs. Gupta has floated this ransom rumor out of suspicion.
You're again going into your Khalbali spiral!
I'm telling you, it's her!
I'm all set to become a celeb. Why would I do something so stupid?
Don't I know how much it costs to buy followers?
How much could you earn from making ad videos?
Whatever I earn, it's my own money. I'm not dependent on anyone.
Have you ever earned even ten rupees?
Sushma, I'll slap you!
Dependent?! I live with respect in my own house, alright?
I don't need these lowly jobs!
And what money of your own?
Even the house you live in was lent by Manas's friend.
You were on the phone all the time. Think I didn't notice?
Why do you keep acting all righteous?
And why couldn't you have asked for the ransom?! Mummy…
Because I don't need it!
You don't need it?!
You need five and a half lakh rupees!
What? What for?
Jaya? Tell me!
-What for? -It's none of your business!
Mummy, please say something reasonable for once.
Will I demand ransom because I need money?!
I'm the daughter-in-law of a decent family.
Hey, I'm not like you mother and daughter, understand?
If I wanted a ransom, would I have called you two here?
And when could I have asked?
Ever since your nagging husband arrived, I haven't had a minute to breathe!
His demands are never-ending.
"Feed me chicken. Feed me kebabs. Feed me fritters. Papa! Papa! Papa!"
Check my phone if you don't trust your mother.
You don't talk about trust, Mummy.
Even if the Goddess of Truth herself vouched for you,
I won't be able to trust you!
Oh, so I'm the deceitful one!
And you're so trustworthy! Right, princess?
You stole my jewels in the dead of night and ran away!
What else could I do?
With your sparkling clean "Massage Queen" reputation!
-My father-in-law set a condition… -Jaya, I'm telling you, shut up.
that he'd only let us get married if you didn't attend the wedding!
Your father used to insist on getting a massage on the terrace.
I told him so many times to let me do it inside.
-But he-- -Why do you keep harping on the jewels?
Did I steal them?
For your daughter's wedding, wouldn't you give her a token of love?
"Token of love!"
The few times you showed up, it was only to ask for money!
Have you ever even glanced my way without an ulterior motive?
Why would I? Tell me, why would I?
With you, I've always lived in shame!
Ever since I was a child, you've always been wrapped up in some scandal!
One day you're pregnant, another day you lure Gupta ji into your home.
You don't give a damn about what people say or think!
Look at yourself!
Shamelessly strutting in sleeveless blouses even at this age!
Now, what kind of cheap talk is this?
What does my blouse have to do with anything?
I feel hot!
Will I use ransom money to get a blouse stitched?
Blouses aren't your only vice, Mummy.
Now, why are you slandering me?
-What have I done? -What have you done?
You've caused this crisis, and you still ask what you did!
Given the wild ways of you mother and daughter,
I should have known I'd get into trouble!
I never should have come here.
Then why did you come, Queen of Bhitrampur?
I made a mistake!
-Show me your phone. -I won't show you.
Let go of the phone. Let go.
-I said, let go! -You let go!
-Let me see it! -I won't let you!
-Dammit! -Move!
-Get away! -I won't let go!
-I won't let go! I'll claw you! Go away! -I worked so hard to send them to school.
And this is what they learned, these feral monkeys!
-Hey, stop it! -Give it to me!
If you've done nothing, then why not show me?
Mummy, I'm sure she has demanded the ransom!
Of course! Everything's always my fault!
That damned Kiran Yadav posted the kissing video, but I was blamed!
Someone demanded ransom, but my phone will be checked!
Every single time, for everything, I have to prove I'm innocent!
I'm the step-sister, right? All my life, you've made me feel like a pariah!
Do you deserve to be treated like a sister?
I think deceit runs in your blood!
Didi, don't you dare say anything bad about my father!
-I'm warning you, I'll bite you! -Yes, bite me! Bite me!
-You're a bitch after all! -Yes, bite! Finish each other off!
Why just bite with your teeth? Finish each other off!
Grab a sword and chop each other's heads off!
I know you've saved Manas's number as "Sweetheart" in your phone!
You've already burned down my marriage. What else is left for you to destroy?
Sushma, what is your sister saying?
You and Manas?
Since she's speaking her mind, Mummy, can I speak my mind too?
I think the colony people are right.
You killed her father as well as mine! You murdered both of them!
And you told me that he left us and went away?
Tell me the truth, Mummy. Did you really bury them under the marigolds?
Hey!
No one's going anywhere!
Until we've sorted Gupta ji out, no one's going anywhere!
I haven't demanded any ransom. I swear on it!
But if I go to jail, I'll take you both with me!
Dammit!
Cook the kadaknath!
Hey, pause it.
He entered the colony at 7:15 p.m.
So there must be a video of him leaving too, right?
Must be.
Fast forward and check!
We've been watching the watchman scratch himself for 20 minutes.
Call me when you see him leave, okay?
Okay.
What "okay"?
Okay!
Okay.
Manas behaved so rudely with you yesterday.
Tiwari's aloo chaat?
He's been kidnapped?
I'm investigating.
I have to bring him back before the wedding anyhow.
Sir!
I've checked the entire night's footage. He hasn't left.
If he didn't leave, how did he get kidnapped?
Could he still be inside the colony?
Well… why don't you search all the houses?
I can't do that without a warrant.
Why am I wasting your time with my useless ideas?
I'll take your leave.
-Shall I drop you home? -No, no.
Manas must be awake by now.
But…
you can come under the pretext of searching the house, if you like.
Are you holding the bag tight?
Yes. Let's go.
No one will overdo it.
All of you, stay alert.
-Banke. -Yes, sir?
Only you and I can see the dumpster.
-Don't fall asleep. -Yes, sir.
ADARSH COLONY
What are you doing here?
What's going on here?
Tell me.
It's him.
Sushma's father.
SUSHMA'S FATHER
Merely a few days after Jaya's father died,
such loud moans were heard from Rekha's house at nights
that the neighbors had to stuff cotton in their ears to sleep.
The darkness of night may have hidden Rekha's deeds…
but it could not hide the receipts of those deeds.
When Sushma was born, the women of the colony were horrified.
Even today, they look for resemblance between Sushma and their husbands.
Rekha told Sushma to look at the moon as her father.
One day, an innocent Goldie told Sushma
that her father must be bald, that's why he was like the moon.
Sushma savagely knocked out her two front teeth.
The poor girl's dowry was doubled.
That very father was standing in front of her today.
How are you, Sarla, my child?
-Sushma. -What?
Sushma!
How are you, Sushma, my child?
Look at how much you've grown!
When I last saw you, you were so tiny.
When did you see her?
You absconded before she was even born.
She must be the elder one. Right?
Why didn't you ever come to meet me?
Oh, child, how could I put you in danger?
Your father has made many sacrifices for the country.
And my biggest sacrifice is you.
Just before you were born, he was sent on an underwear mission.
Undercover.
Whatever.
As soon as the mission ended,
somehow my feet brought me back to her.
-Have you brought the money? -Money?
The money I gave you.
-Give it to me. I'll keep it back. -Mummy!
You had the money all this time?
This is only half.
In his hurry that night, he left his bag behind.
-And after that, I-- -Wait a minute.
-He too was there that night? -What?
-What?
What "what"?!
Mummy, I'm asking you for the last time.
Tell me exactly what happened that night.
Maheshwari, why are you sleeping?
Hey! I'm under the cover!
The kidnapper must be around here.
Go.
Stay calm and listen.
Don't get mad.
Ten days ago, I gave him three lakh rupees.
That night, I withdrew another two and a half lakh rupees.
Gupta ji came after I left,
and discovered that cash was missing.
He threatened me over the phone.
-Rekha ji… -"I'll tell your boss everything."
While I was bathing,
I had a killer idea.
I thought he was coming anyway. He can convince Gupta ji, man to man.
And you realized you wouldn't get the money, so you took off.
-Didi, don't be so rude. -You keep quiet!
Hey, Jaya.
He doesn't need the money for himself.
He needs to pay the token amount for a shop.
After he retires, he and I will open a security agent.
-Agency. -Whatever.
Tell them the name.
You tell them.
No, you tell them.
You tell them.
Mummy, is Papa coming back?
You didn't tell the girls?
He has demanded the ransom! For sure!
Ransom?
What ransom?
Come on, hurry up!
Move quickly!
The money has been kept there.
Everyone, stay alert.
Banke?
The idiot fell asleep! Banke!
I'm awake, sir.
Who else, besides you, knows that Gupta ji is in our house?
-Didi… -Answer me. What "didi"?
Hey! I swear on Sarla, I didn't make a ransom demand.
Papa, Sushma.
I swear on Sushma, I didn't make a ransom demand!
We'll find out when you go to jail!
Jail? Does that seem like a joke to you?
Ever been lashed with a stick?
Your soul leaves your body and starts dancing before your very eyes.
-Papa, calm down. -Quiet! Quiet!
And you…
You called me here to frame me.
Yes. That's why you said, "Gupta ji is fine, he's not dead."
If I hadn't forgotten this bag, I'd be in Nepal by now!
Nepal?
-You got a new mission? -No. Please.
I'm sick of pretending to romance you.
And you want an army colonel!
No lesser rank will do! Can't you adjust a little?!
And you-- I haven't asked for any ransom!
I have a train to Gorakhpur tomorrow morning.
Look at this. Here.
I'm a wanted man.
-I told you! -I get caught every two to three months.
I'm worn out from all the police thrashings. I'm done.
-I told you. Mummy, I told you-- -I'm a wanted man.
-Hey, give me the bag! Give it to me. -Don't give it to him.
-Give me the bag! Give it to me! -Don't give it to him.
Give it to me.
Hey!
-Come on, give me the bag. -I won't give it to you.
-Give me the bag. -Papa?
Yes, my child?
-Give me the bag. -Let her go.
-Give me the bag! -I said, let her go!
Hand over the bag, or I'll slit her throat!
-Give me the bag. -Jaya, give him the bag.
Jaya, give it to him.
Jaya, give him the bag.
Give it!
-Open the shutter. -First, let Sushma go.
Open the shutter, or I'll kill her!
God bless you, Sarla!
The witch wants to play house!
I'm not crazy that I will live with women like you!
Get lost, you dog!
Banke!
KRIPA NIWAS 333
Sushma?
-Sushma, what are you doing? -Let him go. Let him go back!
She's getting married. At least she has a father.
-Hey, listen. -Let him go.
Have you gone mad?
-Manas is sleeping outside. -Didi, let go!
You were right. Deceit runs in my blood.
Sushma…
don't blame yourself.
That man is crooked.
And what sort of woman are you, Mummy?
You had a child with a man without even knowing him!
-Quiet. Manas will wake up. -Your wild youth just doesn't fade!
When will you stop?!
Who's next in line?
Gupta ji.
What?
Gupta ji!
Jaya!
Sushma!
What happened? What was that sound?
What happened, Manas?
That sound! What's going on?
Where is Jaya?
She's sleeping. Do you need something?
What's going on inside?
-There's a dead rat inside. -Jiju…
-Jaya? -There's no one there.
Just go back to sleep.
I heard a man's voice coming from inside!
Jaya, I'm warning you for the last time!
-Come out, or I'll have to come in! -Jiju, listen to me!
Manas, wait. Listen.
I've been calling you for so long. Where were you?
I can't always respond at the push of a button.
What did you say?
What happened to your sleeve? Why is it torn?
Who's in there? It's Maheshwari, isn't it?
She was out joyriding with him in the afternoon as well.
Clearly, it's the company you keep!
Your sister was always a "public fund."
After all, you too are your mother's daughter!
Maybe I should just leave you right here.
Then go.
What did you say?
Leave me and go.
Go. Get out.
-Are you seeing this? -Get out right now!
Mother, if you won't say anything, I'll have to deal with it my way--
Hey!
Talk to me.
-Here, here, here! -Look… look at this!
-Talk to me! -Now…
-You talk to me. -She's being so disrespectful!
I said, get out. Get out!
Listen to me. Are you out of your mind?
Come, let's sit and talk this out.
I don't want to talk.
Maheshwari did come.
He tired me out.
Do you know what it means to be tired out? How would you know!
You've never tired me out. Get out!
You want to go with him and ruin your life?
You'll rot with your mother and sister!
What did you say?
-Have you gone mad? -Yes, I've gone mad.
I've gone crazy!
Mother, do you see how she's talking to me?
-You'll regret this, I'm telling you! -Regret?!
-Yes! -I'll regret it?
I'll regret it, you scumbag?
Do you know how many rotis I've made since the day we got married? Do you?
One lakh, twenty-seven thousand, seven hundred and fifty-five, exact!
I'll regret it?
You haven't worked a single day in your life!
Little prince, living off Daddy's wealth,
while I've toiled as your unpaid servant!
"Jaya, cook food. Jaya, wash the clothes. Jaya, clean the toilet."
"Jaya, get up. Jaya, sit down. Jaya, dance."
The entire day, from morning to night, you just keep ordering me around!
You lounge around shirtless all day like you're dipped in sandalwood!
-You're ruining your own honor. -Ruining my honor?!
Ruining my honor?!
I married you for the sake of my honor!
Marriage is about destiny. Cool down, cool down.
You came and groped me from behind. That was destiny?!
You had come to see Rati,
but you saw me alone in the kitchen and barged in!
I swear, if Rati hadn't seen us and created a scene that day,
I would have been saved!
I married a cockroach like you for the sake of reputation,
and yet, the colony people think that I trapped you!
You're twisted like a dog's tail!
You make me wash your father's underwear,
and hit on my sister in front of me! You disgusting parasite!
Want to hear more?
-Want to hear more? -Hey!
-Want to hear more? -Hey! Why are you--
Shut up! Do you know why I can't have a child?
-No, I don't want to hear it! -Why not?!
You must hear it!
I can't have a child because your sperm is slow!
Not only is your sperm slow, your brain is so weak
that you never even realized I had you tested!
And here I am, a complete fool, still wanting your baby!
-I will cry now. -Oh, shut up!
I'll shove kneaded flour in your mouth and choke you to death, I'm warning you!
-Get out of here! -I'm going!
Now, my father is going to set you straight.
Even if you beg at my feet, I won't take you back.
Hey! Go tell your father to mix poison in his tea and drink it!
Get the hell out of here! I'll send you the divorce papers!
You better give me a fair alimony,
or I'll bury you under these marigolds! Understand?
This is not over! I'll be back!
-Hey, don't… -Get the hell out!
Give me some more chicken.
I've cooked this after so long.
Every time I'd make it, Gupta ji would come to fight.
"Even the smell of it offends my religion."
Pour some gravy into his mouth.
Didi, there's nothing going on between Manas and me.
You forwarded his number with that name.
I just saved it like that.
Our videos went viral, so I tolerated him.
No matter who asked for the ransom, the three of us will be suspected.
Right now, all eyes are on us.
In the morning, we'll stuff the body in the trunk,
and throw it off a cliff on the highway.
After that, I don't want to see your faces ever again.
The sky is bereft of stars
What sort of night has descended!
The waves batter my shores
What sort of night has descended!
Slow and steady
The seasons turn
Salty tears
Carry my sorrows
What I have lost
How can strangers replace?
What I have lost
How can strangers replace?
It is known only to me
And my God
BENEFITS OF A LONG TONGUE
The moon has forsaken me
What sort of night has descended!
The waves batter my shores
What sort of night has descended!
The sky is bereft of stars
What sort of night has descended!
The waves batter my shores
What sort of night has descended!
Goldie!
-Goldie, look! -Papa!
Papa!
Pick him up! Pick him up!
Jijaji?
Mummy, should I tell Abhishek?
We have our pre-wedding shoot today. We'll have to cancel it.
Why are you whining nonstop, just like your grandma?
There's no need to tell anyone anything.
I'll tell them he slipped in the bathroom.
I wonder what time he was dumped here!
Recognize me?
It's me, Maheshwari.
This is Babul.
I paid five and a half lakh rupees for your ransom!
Will you at least utter a word?
He's been hit on the head.
It's called a concussion.
Don't try to school me.
I'm the one who took you to watch Sadma at Minerva Theater.
"It's called a concussion!"
Jijaji, can you tell us who the kidnapper was?
I'm telling you, those three witches did it!
Quiet!
This is the work of a professional kidnapper.
Fine.
Do one thing.
Arrest me.
I'm the one who asked for ransom.
I'm the one who did all this.
Your sister is a demoness.
And that Jaya and her mother and sister are completely innocent! Okay?
Professional!
Professional, sure!
What are you sniffing?
Uncle.
His mouth was tied with this.
Witch!
KRIPA NIWAS 333
Hey, Goldie! Help me dye my hair.
My hand won't reach.
-I have a face pack on. -Mummy!
Gupta Aunty is calling.
From your jet black eyes
The nectar rains down, O Queen!
My heart is on fire
On fire!
Rekha ji, you're missing me, aren't you?
Gupta ji, listen.
I'll tell you what happened.
Oh, no. I'll tell you what happened.
When you embezzled the cash from the wine shop, I caught you, Rekha ji.
After that, you messaged me at night.
You said, "Come over. Let's play card games."
And I, being such a fool for you,
came to your house in the mood for romance, and you knocked me out cold!
Then you called your girls to your house to help you.
And your son-in-law turned up as well!
Oh, such drama queens, you people are!
Jaya really put on quite a spectacle
driving her husband away!
And he escaped with the ransom money.
Somehow, I saved my own life and stumbled back here.
You know, the moment I got home, I went into shock.
But my brother-in-law Maheshwari, the police officer,
has evidence of your dastardly crime.
Do you know what that evidence is?
Your blouse.
The same hot pink blouse that I had in between my teeth. Yes.
Now, once my statement gets out…
this case will become as tight as your blouse!
Oh, don't be scared.
I haven't said anything yet. This is just an FYI.
This is a private matter between us.
Gupta ji, I didn't ask for the ransom.
-I'm telling you the truth. -Who's talking about the ransom?
Forget about that.
I've already forgotten about it. Keep it.
With a heavy heart, I'm advising you.
Leave the house.
Your house is my house. The paperwork will be taken care of.
The house?
How can I leave my home, Gupta ji?
Oh! How can I let you go to jail, Rekha ji?
Don't compel me.
Gupta ji, please listen to me.
Rekha ji, imagine an earthquake has struck.
You have no time left.
Grab whatever holds sentimental value, and get out of the house.
If the people of the colony find out that
your latest scheme is to lure men home,
hold them captive, and then demand a ransom, what would happen to you?
Imagine the consequence.
And this time, Rekha ji…
you won't be able to…
stop the mob.
Hey! Why are you breaking things?
Mummy!
What are you doing? Stop!
Help!
Didi!
-Didi! -Get down!
-Don't hit our mother! -Mummy!
Mummy!
-Mummy! -Sushma! Jaya!
-Get in there! -Didi! Mummy!
-I want to be with you, Mummy! -Come on, get in there!
Open the door!
-Open the door! -Didi… I'm scared.
Nothing will happen.
Nothing will happen!
-Mummy… -Mummy…
I'm really scared.
KRIPA NIWAS 333
WITCH
I've spent so many years politely telling you to give me the house.
What happened last time was only a preview.
Now, I'll show you the full film.
Hey, Goldie! Hurry up.
Come on, hurry.
I don't understand what's with him. He won't utter a word.
If there's a problem, just call me.
I will not give up this house.
I have just one thing left to pass on to you two.
If that goes too, you'll be like me when you get to my age.
So, what will you do?
I'll go to jail.
You take all this and get out of here.
Mummy, have you lost your mind?
Jaya!
Both of you, get out of here! Right now!
Mummy, we can live in a rented house. We'll manage.
If anyone asks, tell them you didn't know anything about Gupta ji being here.
What are you doing? Didi, why are you just swinging away?
Come here and help me deal with her!
-Mummy, listen to me! -You listen to me!
Take your sister and get out of here right now. Go!
Where will we go?
I wish I hadn't dragged you two into this mess.
You are right, Jaya.
There's no greater fool in the world than me.
After all these years, he came to me and said…
that we will live together.
We'll build rooms upstairs for both our daughters.
And I believed him.
I won't give up this house.
I'll go to jail.
Sushma.
Tell her that sleeveless blouses aren't allowed in jail.
You got a four. Can't play without cheating?
I moved it by mistake. Why are you hissing?
Like a snake.
-I'm a snake? -Yes, who else?
You're a snake.
-Your eyes are like a snake's. -Your nose is.
Your lips.
-Your everything. -Get lost!
-Flick your tongue and show. -I'll bite you.
I have a killer idea.
She's like a witch, man!
She's cast a spell on him.
Deceitful woman!
Massage Queen!
Wanton woman!
You raised a snake!
Frivolous woman!
You'll rot with your mother and sister!
Your sister was always a "public fund."
Promiscuous woman!
Witch!
They have an evil eye!
REKHA MY DARLING 150 FOR A NIGHT
She does drugs, right?
REKHA, WANNA GO CATCH A MOVIE? DID YOU SEE REKHA'S?
Oh!
I just made…
a small request, and you people have created a Bangkok vibe!
Juice?
I've completely lost faith in you people. So…
will you taste it first?
Stained with your lips…
Why are you staring at me like that?
Fine, I'll shut the door.
May I go through?
I'll tell you this once. It's a warning.
If I don't make it back home,
my brother-in-law Maheshwari, the sub-inspector, will show up here.
I've written a tell-all letter and left it under my pillow.
Oh, no, don't worry. Hear me out.
I'll tear it up as soon as I get home.
Just give me…
a little comfort.
My whole body, every muscle, is aching.
It's so…
Is this your bedroom?
Rekha ji's bed?
Rekha ji's bed!
I simply can't believe it. Just a minute.
Will you pinch me, please?
Come, pinch me. Are you feeling shy?
Oh, why feel shy? Come, pinch me.
Come on!
Pinch me!
What did you think?
That Gupta ji would die at the hands of three women?
Do you think…
Gupta ji is some tiny insect you can squash?
Now I want to see you dance.
I want to see all three of you dance.
I have just two hours.
Get it?
Hey, are you two listening? Come here!
Get over here!
Play some music!
Whenever the forest has caught fire
I've warmed my eyes with it
Whenever the peacock dances in the forest
I've feasted my eyes on it
BRIDE
From your jet black eyes
The nectar rains down
My heart is on fire
My unrepentant gaze
Long for union, come on!
I've forgotten all shame
I cast a single look And the world was left smitten
That one chime of your anklet…
Hey, Sushma. I'm tired.
My unrepentant gaze…
Why did you stop the music?
-I was just getting into the groove. -Gupta ji.
Smile!
Strike a pose.
Smile, please.
Make a pouting face.
Hey! Why are you taking pictures? Hey!
Hey, get off! Get away from me!
You were taking my pictures?
Give me your phone!
It's open!
What is this message you've sent me?
"Gupta ji is lying here half-naked. Come and take him away."
My daughter's wedding functions are on,
-and you-- -Greetings, Gupta Aunty.
Why are you lying here slathered in oil?
What's going on here?
I just…
Why did you come here?
You go home, I'll come there and explain.
-You-- -Take him with you, Aunty.
Your massage is over!
Today's video is all ready to be uploaded on Sushma's page.
Right, Sush?
I have so many followers. You surely know.
He follows me, but he never likes my posts, Aunty.
I was letting you off so easily.
But, Rekha ji,
now you will go to jail.
And after you're gone, I'll take care of your two daughters as well.
Hey, Gupta!
If you say another word about my daughters,
I'll turn the rumor about the bodies under the marigolds into reality.
"Gupta"?
I'll file an FIR against all three of you, just you wait!
Go ahead, Uncle.
By the time you file the FIR, you'll already be viral.
Tell us what caption we should put.
Oh, caption! Yes!
"Father having a bachelor party at his own daughter's wedding."
Get out of here, right now!
-Get out! -Go!
Is that so?
"Get out"?
First ransom, and now blackmail?
I'm telling you this one last time.
I did not ask for the ransom.
You bloody liar! Then who did?
I swear on your life, she's the one who messaged me that night.
She said, "Come over. Let's play card games."
Let me tell you.
You didn't do anything.
That night, I called you over to play card games.
You thought that was wrong.
You came over to chastise me. You rang the doorbell.
I asked, "Who is it?"
You said, "It's me."
Then I opened the door, grabbed you like this, and pulled you inside.
You said, "What are you doing, Rekha ji? Let me go!"
But I started forcing myself on you.
To save yourself, you ran inside,
and I ran after you.
Hey! Let go of my hand. Where are you taking me?
What is going on? What is this drama?
What are you…
Then I neighed like a horse, and pounced on you!
The more you struggled, the more I forced myself on you.
Hey, don't touch me!
When you still didn't give in, I pushed you hard.
You collided with the cupboard.
The cupboard's handle went up your backside.
-You liar! -Your foot got stuck in the stool.
-You fell. You tried to grab the curtain. -You liar!
The curtain rod fell on your head.
You and the curtain fell on the grinding stone!
-Lies! -You hit your skull on the grinding stone!
But you still didn't die!
People won't believe it.
But I was scared.
Call Maheshwari.
Forget it. Let's go.
-Or else, they'll upload the video. -They wouldn't dare to!
The video has them as well dancing in nighties!
They are in it too!
Don't they care about their own honor?
Honor?
Of us mother and sisters?
Let's leave.
Didn't I tell you? They're all witches!
Jijaji.
Will you give a statement for the FIR?
But one mystery was yet to be solved.
Who demanded the ransom?
Hey…
A FEW WEEKS LATER
I tried telling my father over and over that I don't want to get married!
-Goldie? -Goldie?
But he didn't listen.
So I ran away.
You ran away from your wedding to participate in Sargam Sitara?
How are you managing here?
I had saved some money to fulfill my dream.
Around five to five and a half lakh rupees.
How much?
Five and a half lakh-- I saved up my pocket money.
You are very daring, child.
Would you like to say something to your parents?
Five and a half lakh rupees?
Please don't fight with Mummy because of me.
Even that night, you got angry and stormed off.
I was at the window when I saw you go in there.
You're making me very emotional, child. What's your name?
At home, I'm called Goldie.
But my name is…
Hema.
Did you see Rekha's?
Sushma, Jaya!
We're in a society. People are watching.
Do it well!
Subtitle translation by: Neha Nair