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Welcome the bride, O groom's mother
The groom's brought his bride home
Her face is radiant like the moon
She can't stop blushing Looking at her husband
Heer has found his Ranjha
Forever they are now entwined
A lover dictates his own fate to God
Welcome the bride, O groom's mother
Even the rising sun bows before him
For he is the son of a fearless mother
A child of the motherland A proud son of Punjab
The son of Punjab
Son of Sardar
The son of Punjab
In his heart rages a storm
The sky is his battleground
In his heart rages a storm
The sky is his battleground
He's a fearless soul
Can breathe life into the soil
The world watches as he steps forward
Has blessings of Guru
People would gladly lay down their lives
Wears the turban with pride
Even God is his guardian
His pace is swift like a panther
The moon is his throne...
Son of Sardar
When he sees English, he gets a fever
He attacks with local demeanor
He can even cross the seven seas
Son of Sardar
Ain't nobody got that grace
He's the ace Don't be confused
Nobody stands close to him They try to chase the pace
The son of Punjab
He cares as much As he's got courage
Respects his folks Treats them as God
He is a Singh Punjabi Always good with his friends...
What? Twins again?
Jassi, you've been blessed with twins again!
That's really good news.
- Where are you going? - You drive now. I am going.
Family is priority
They expect love emotion from Jatt
He stands tall like a wall
Son of Sardar
Even when faced a wall of fire
Can blow it away with a single roar
Don't mess with him
Son of Sardar
The name creates a stir
He's going to reign, make no error
He's back, everyone's friend
Son of Sardar
Whenever lions are needed
He's the one you can count on
Can easily strike his enemies down
Son of Sardar
Oh, God! That hurts.
Praise the Lord.
Mother.
My son's awake.
Why do you bring my tea upstairs?
I've said several times before that I'll come downstairs and drink it.
I keep telling you, let's hire some help for the house.
If the children still have to eat food made by a cook,
then what's the point of having a mother around?
Never.
Come. Drink the tea while it's hot.
If the visa doesn't come through this year either,
I'm calling Dimple back.
Then you can sit around eating pizzas and pastas your daughter-in-law makes.
Don't be so negative.
Everything will work out.
God always does what's best for everyone.
God...
What have you ever done for me that's good?
I want to know.
Can't you see my mother...
doing the household chores at her age?
You don't?
And yet she keeps thanking you.
Even I wish to see...
my mother sit on the couch, eating.
Shout at the children.
Two kids running from one side, two more from the other,
yelling "Grandma." I want to see my house bustling with life.
But look...
it's totally silent. Like a graveyard.
You call this doing good?
Hasn't eleven years been long enough?
I've run out of fingers to count the years.
Dimple worked so hard to get her permanent status.
Even she has dreams.
I cannot call her back and crush her dreams.
Leave it.
I don't want to talk to you.
End of discussion.
Cut. Cut... today...
Cut.
I will drink.
I will keep drinking.
Try and stop me.
You may be God...
but even Sardars are persistent.
Stop me.
Hello?
- Hello? - Your visa came through, Jassi.
Get your ticket done and come over quickly.
Your visa has been approved. Don't delay any more.
Come soon.
I am at work. Will call you back later.
Son.
What happened, son?
My visa has been approved.
Lord... you answered my prayers.
You are unbelievable.
You never listen the easy way, do you?
Son of Sardar
Hi.
They are my friends. Robin and Disha.
- Hello. - Shall we? Come.
Where will you get off?
Back at home, people know how to take a hint.
I dropped plenty of hints at them,
but they don't seem to get it.
Coffee.
I want a divorce.
That's why I called you here.
I see. And we call the sun a lamp.
It's not easy to fool a Sardar.
You were trying to pull a prank on me.
Where is the surprise cake? Take it out.
I was wondering why your friends were acting so strangely.
They were planning a surprise.
Thank you, brother. Now, take the cake out.
- Come on. Take it out. - There is no surprise.
I am serious.
He's my boyfriend, Robin Kukreja.
We want to get married.
And anyway, there is nothing left between us.
How can you say that?
We swore before Guru Sahib to always be together.
What did I do wrong?
Is it my fault that your visa didn't get approved?
You don't know what it's like to live alone, how tough life can be.
Even I was alone.
You have a big heart. I don't.
I'm just an ordinary girl.
I have a share in the property.
So, please cooperate.
We should settle this among ourselves.
Why drag it to the court?
I kept waiting day and night for this.
The visa would have arrived earlier if you had actually applied for it.
Truly...
you made a fool of this Sardar.
No one knows the pain
The one who goes through The pain can understand it
God, I have found no one who is mine
MOTHER
Indian Punjabi wedding again.
Why can't you ever find a Pakistani event?
You always get us trapped among Sardars.
My dear wife, their money is worth three times more than ours.
Even though we spend in pounds,
we always convert it in our minds to the value in our own currency first.
Yes, and where there's money, there's Danish.
Yeah.
And we've to do the same old thing. Sing and dance.
Why hesitate when we're being paid extra, my love?
Are you done arguing? Now, do some work.
- You-- - Child, talk respectfully to your mother.
She doesn't think of her as her mother.
She doesn't think of you as her husband.
Weird family.
Completely weird.
Look who is talking.
Can anyone be weirder than you in this world?
No one.
- Hold on. - No one.
Can we prepare now?
Or those Sardars will beat us to a pulp.
- Don't take them lightly. - Ready.
Don't wear sunglasses You look pretty anyway
These eyes...
- Leave me speechless - They're killing me
Your eyes are so stunning...
Everyone wants to see them
Why do you hide them?
Don't wear sunglasses You look pretty anyway
How are you, Babbu?
Jassi... Jassi, I...
I got you some pickles from Punjab.
Jassi, it's...
- Let me shower first, then we'll talk. - Jassi, listen...
Pickles from our hometown.
Don't wear sunglasses You look pretty anyway
Brother Babbu has a big heart.
He's told everyone back home,
"Whenever you come to England, come to my home."
Pull, sister-in-law. Pull.
Do not wear makeup You look pretty anyway
- Don't apply kohl in your eyes... - You look pretty anyway
Don't wear sunglasses You look pretty anyway
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Let me introduce you to my team. I am Rabia.
That's our sexy Gul.
She is Saba...
Mehwish.
And that's Da--
Danish?
Danish and that Russian...
His mother's holy face!
Hold this.
Out of my way. Out of my way, bro.
Danish!
I am not going to spare him today.
Danish, you jerk.
- Danish. - Oh no...
Danish.
Yes, my lady?
What happened?
I feel sick.
Oh, God!
May Allah bless you with twins.
Get me a cup of tea.
- Yes. - Oh, God!
Call your mom Chameli, you mangy cur!
- Okay, come on. Go, go. - Stop.
You all got British residency because of me.
I've kept the divorce papers on the table.
- You jerk. Die, you rascal! - Congratulations on your freedom.
Go live your life. You'll thank me later.
You'll burn in the fire of hell, you bloody...
- It's okay. Leave it. - He ran away?
See? Let him go.
The Russian he ran off with will get him club gigs.
The moment he finds someone who earns more,
he'll run off with her too.
Did anyone ask you?
See...
What do I care? To hell with you.
He is my father. I know him better than you.
He doesn't love you.
He only loves money and booze, Mother dearest.
I am not your "mother dearest."
- I'll rip your tongue and smash your nose. - Rabia.
- No, no. Stop. - Exactly.
Even I cried the same way
when he brought you home less than a month after my mom's passing.
Don't vent your mother's frustration on me.
And we weren't too keen on coming here either.
Can you two stop this debate?
He ran away, didn't he?
He doesn't care about you two.
Arguing unnecessarily.
Beauty is what people build Taj Mahals for.
Your father will come crawling back to me within a month,
or my name isn't Rabia Akhtar.
It's been over a month,
and that jerk hasn't shown up yet.
Don't grin at me like that.
I'll be there to watch when your lover ditches you.
The one whose money you use to raid the stores.
Oh, my God! And here I thought you were heartbroken.
But Mother dearest, your heart's burning with jealousy.
Doesn't matter. Each to their own luck.
Simran.
- Baby! - "Baby!"
- Baby. - Baby.
Whose wedding was it, Simran baby?
It was one of my Muslim friends' weddings.
Very boring.
They hired some stupid group. Couldn't even get us to groove.
Forget it. They don't have the Punjabi vibe.
- Shall we go shopping? - Yes. Come on.
Bloody backstabbing witch.
Father and daughter are homewreckers.
Thank God I escaped their clutches.
Did you watch the India-Pakistan match yesterday?
Kohli was on fire.
The face of the Pakistanis was worth watching.
Dad was really thrilled.
He doesn't like Pakistanis.
But he will accept my munchkin immediately.
I was wondering, why don't we introduce our fathers?
Baby, I hate this family drama.
We are in love and we have to get married.
- Why involve the family? - Baby...
I come from the Sandhu family.
My father is a man of principles. You don't get it.
- This is what I am telling you-- - Baby...
dad or me?
Baby, you...
I know you are special, but...
Dad or me?
I am driving, baby.
I was saying--
Dad or me?
Baby, just once...
- Dad or me? - Just listen to me...
- Dad or me? - Baby, just once...
We will crash. Look in front.
- Me... not your dad. - Yes.
- Don't go back on your words. - No, no, no.
Jassi.
Bro, even the pickle you brought is over.
When are you going back?
I mean... your poor wife must be waiting for you.
Poor wife?
My poor wife is getting married again.
That jerk Danish...
I said it before.
He is not coming back this time.
If he can elope with a Russian,
even I'll find some Italian for myself.
- Is there anything lacking in Rabia? - Says who?
By the way, what do these Russians have
that makes our men go absolutely crazy over them?
We drove these white folks out,
but the men are still slaves to these white chicks.
You don't know anything about women.
You are whining over property.
They'd sell you off if they had the chance.
Find a decent lawyer.
These women must be shown their place, brother.
It's necessary.
They bring us from India and put a leash around our neck.
They don't visit India to get married.
It's like visiting a pet shop to adopt a dog.
Have you seen a witch...?
That's my wife.
I could never have expected a better woman in my life.
Thank God.
Bro, I'll find you a lawyer, and you find a place to stay.
Or else she will throw us both out.
Please.
I will introduce you to a female lawyer tomorrow,
or you will get in trouble.
There is a long queue of boys waiting for you.
Just tell me what sort of boy you are looking for.
Looks matter when you fall in love...
But when it comes to breaking hearts, there is no preference.
Oh, wow. That's more like it!
I'll introduce you to a solid guy tomorrow.
What the shucks... she called a Sardar?
When you're trying to get a fire started,
who cares whether it's coal or petrol?
Come on, Rabia.
She looks like a lawyer.
- Greetings... - Hello-- I mean greetings.
- Sit down. - Thank you.
Are you a Muslim?
Yes. Why? Do you have any objections?
No, it's okay. It's okay.
I...
I love my wife a lot.
I don't want to divorce her.
You love your wife?
You don't want to divorce her?
Then what are we doing here?
Necessity.
See, my friend says you are expensive, but also the best.
Do I look like the one-time type?
Yes. I also need it one time.
Please, hear my case.
Madam, I am a nice person.
I don't believe in wrecking homes.
Don't worry.
I'll pay you more than your market rate.
Madam... Madam...
I am in a tight situation. I am in a lot of trouble.
You are my only hope.
Just tell me what your charges are.
Per day, per shift, or lump sum.
Everything is fine with me.
Just start from right now.
Do I look like the charging type to you?
There is nothing wrong with it. You're providing a service.
You deserve it.
God, I will service you for good, you big oaf.
Blood.
Madam...
Sorry, sorry, sorry! Sardar ji, I am so sorry.
Oh, my God! Blood!
Can somebody... Sir, please help me.
He's fainted.
No, no, hello.
Oh, God! Sardar ji, get up, please.
- Excuse me. - Sardar ji.
I am his lawyer.
Oh, he already hired a lawyer before the crime was committed.
If you hadn't jabbed that fork into my hand, thinking it was an omelet,
I wouldn't have had a place to stay today.
Sorry, we had a misunderstanding.
It's alright.
We were looking for a tenant anyway.
God does everything for the best.
My mum also says that.
- Bye, baby. - Bye.
Oh, my God!
Sardar ji, I heard you mistook her for a taxi-for-hire.
Taxi!
Sister, you should cut down on your smoking.
It's not good for singers.
I swear I don't even touch it.
- They made me hold it. - Really?
See, sister. You're starting to sound like a man.
Okay.
Honestly, if you quit smoking, you'll sound like a cuckoo.
But she is not a cuckoo.
She's a thirsty crow, bro!
- Thirsty crow... - Hey...
Leave it.
Why did you have to pick it up?
The house is made of wood. What if it had caught fire?
How can you think so positively?
MOTHER
What is it now?
Mum is getting suspicious that Dimple and I are not together.
If she finds out,
it will break her heart.
SON JASSI
Greetings, Mom. Need your blessings. All good?
How much fairer do you want to be?
Aren't you fair enough already?
It's been so long, Mom. I keep telling Jassi.
But he doesn't let me talk to you.
Where is he?
Since he left...
he hasn't been answering his phone.
He's gotten so busy.
Mothers worry for their children.
But sons don't understand.
Mom, you have spoiled your precious child.
We miss you a lot.
Just tell me when you are coming.
First you come here, then I'll come there.
Please, Mom, don't cry.
What happened?
These are tears of joy.
How will I ever repay this debt?
Idiot.
You really are a crazy guy.
Smile...
Fire...
Fire!
Hey, fire. Fire.
Come down quickly.
- He's here. He's here. - There is a fire.
- We'll all die. There is a fire. - My prince...
- What happened? - My prince charming is here.
Look, he's written
- "Will you marry me?" with fire. - Where is the water?
I bet it's his prince charming. He misspelled "marry."
- What? - Yes.
- Simran baby, come out quickly. - Gogi?
Gogi!
- He spelled "marry" with an E. - There's a fire.
- Out of my way. - Oh, man!
Oh, my God! Yes.
Oh, my God! Gogi. I do. I do. I do.
The tap. The tap.
- Yes, yes, yes! - Hey!
- You liked it? - Oh, my God. Yes!
Should I go get my stuff?
Forget it. We'll buy new ones.
Baby, you are so innocent. This is a proposal.
This innocence is what I like about you.
Baby, we still need our parents' permission.
We'll have a grand wedding, right?
Hey! Open the door. There's a fire.
- Oh, no. - Papa?
- Daddy is awake, baby. - Let me take his blessings.
No! You have to go. You don't get it.
- But let me-- - You don't understand my mom and dad.
They are enemies of love.
They are cruel people. We must elope and get married.
- Baby, try to understand. - Baby, just once...
Please. Please.
Okay. Okay.
No, sweetheart. No...
You only belong to Gogi. I am going to see my dad.
I will speak with him and officially bring you away.
- My munchkin. Okay? - Yes.
- Let me talk to him-- - Bye, bye.
Yes!
- Out of the way. - What are you doing?
- What is all this? - Jassi, what are you doing?
- That won't work. - The fire--
No, no...
Jassi, no.
- No, no... - That's not water.
Jassi.
That was not water. It was barbecue fuel.
Jatts will play Holi with blood today
Sound is made with bullets today
We will not let anyone go dry today
Grab it...
Grab your guns, boys! It's time to take control!
What have you done?
The sheep are running away. Go get them.
Go on.
They are going into Bantu Pandey's area.
Are you deaf?
Rascal. I will kill you like a dog.
Brother, be gentle.
Look, how he is licking the gun.
Let's explain the situation to them.
Listen, we are the masters and you are the servants.
We have a right to enjoy.
You will only get food when you do your job.
Understood?
Go on. Shoo them.
Shoo them.
Go on.
- Go on. - Go on.
Rocky One!
- Oh, no! - Rocky Two!
- Brother is here. - Brother is here.
Rocky Three!
- Grab it! - Oh, grab it!
Grab your guns, boys! It's time to take control!
You two should be ashamed, not them.
From five sheep, I grew to one and a half million sheep.
My finger tits would get sore counting them.
It's tips. Tits are totally different.
Stop correcting my English. I am warning you.
Correct yourselves.
You should be ashamed.
These fields and sheep gave us everything we have.
Without them, you can kiss these mansions and cars goodbye.
Sorry, brother. We made a mistake. We won't repeat it.
Go and check the tits!
Of the sheep?
Not the sheep, check whether the sheep have developed ticks.
Yes?
Gogi wants a girl.
Where will I find a girl?
He should find a girl for himself.
We'll find a girl for him, brother.
We've got numbers for several agents.
Russian. Brazilian. Even Thailand.
Just say the word, brother.
I'll call you back.
We're looking for a daughter-in-law, not a pole dancer.
Did we send you away from home to study
or to fall in love?
You know nothing about her parents.
What the hell do you know?
He's tarnished our family's reputation, brother.
Just like his grandpa.
Should I shoot him dead?
Shoot him. Shoot him in the head. Shoot.
Blow his brains out.
You two are still single. He's my only son,
the only heir to the Sandhu legacy.
Go ahead and leave us without an heir.
Listen, son.
Even when I buy a sheep, I check its breed first.
How can I accept her without knowing her roots?
Family and bloodline have to match.
Love and affection are only for the young.
- They have no standing in society. - Have something to eat first--
Your mother was in her seventh month when you were born.
The doctor said you wouldn't survive.
But when you came out, you were like a nine-month baby,
fit as a fiddle.
Because...
breed matters.
You mean genes, brother.
Breed is for dogs.
Jeans are also a type of pants. You think you can correct my English?
All these years I couldn't master my Punjabi,
so how do you expect me to master English?
Look, son.
No breed...
no mating.
It's matching, brother.
Mating is completely different.
My family is never going to agree, Gogi.
I told you this before.
We'll have to run away and get married.
Just introduce me to your father, please. I will convince them.
My dad's a man of principles.
He won't agree without the family, baby.
Did you ask your father before falling in love?!
Baby, listen.
Even I am leaving my family.
Leave everyone...
for my sake, please.
Whatever share of the property you get,
we can easily manage with a couple of billion.
Baby, my uncles are still single
because they couldn't find a good family.
Family is important to him.
Please, baby, just introduce them.
Just go to hell, Gogi! Go to hell!
Go stay with your family.
Don't ever call me again.
- Baby... - Still can't stand on your own two feet,
yet you want to fall in love.
Just go to hell!
There is no greater pain...
Than losing one's love
May no one be separated From their loved one
May no one...
Oh, my God!
- Sorry, sorry, sorry. - What happened, child?
Forgive me, child. I am so sorry.
It was a mistake.
I will fix everything.
Your mom's here.
We will call Danish and tell him to come over for the sake of his child.
Leave it.
He will make things worse.
First of all, they want a mummy and not an "ammi."
What do you mean?
They're Sardars from Punjab, India.
They will never approve of marrying a Pakistani.
Hey! You can't judge a person by their face.
Yes.
I will pretend to be a Sardarni.
And we'll ask some family man to be your father.
I was at the market.
Thought I'd get some veggies for the house.
No, no! I can't do it!
You don't have to do anything.
Two hours of meeting and two hours for the wedding. Total four hours.
Not even for a minute.
- I will get a heart attack. - Where are you going?
The other day, you kept saying how you would repay her.
- I cannot lie. - Now is the time to do it.
- Be a good boy. Just do it. - Move, guys.
I am not facing my mother because I know I'll get caught.
Please, understand this poor man's situation.
Okay, can you at least talk on the phone as the girl's father,
and say I am against love marriage?
I will not give my approval today...
Or ever.
Run away and get married if you have to.
I already told you. I am never going to agree to it.
If you show me your face, I will shoot you.
- But, Uncle-- - Thank you.
Baby, you didn't tell me that your father is a Sardar.
My father will be really glad.
He is not just a Sardar. He's in the army.
A colonel.
Didn't you hear what he said?
He will shoot you if you show up here, Gogi.
I told you we'd have to elope and get married.
- No... - Don't worry.
I'd cut all ties with a father like him for your sake.
I love you so much.
I can leave the entire world for you.
Soldier?
- Soldier of the nation? - Yes.
- And a Sardar? - Yes.
- My child... my son. - Wow!
I am so proud of you.
- Thank you. - Why would he say yes?
He's an army colonel, and we are sheep herders.
We will go to his house to ask for his daughter's hand.
Doesn't matter if he won't come here.
- Honestly? - Yes.
You haven't seen the mom yet.
She is so innocent.
Look at that. Already calling her mom.
You never showed this kind of love for me.
- See... - Mom, come on!
But that's a good thing, Premlata ji.
I cannot split you with anyone.
You are mine to keep.
You mean you can't share her, brother.
She's not a bowl of soup that you can split.
It's okay, Tony. I want to see...
how innocent his new mom is.
Surprise.
Surprise!
Authentic home-cooked food with desi ghee, only for you.
Food cooked in desi ghee?
Why? What did you think?
No, I had the same feeling.
Food cooked in desi ghee.
We should now... prepare to become father--
Why?
Saba's in-laws want to meet Saba's father.
Two hours of meeting, two hours for the wedding.
Total four hours. Simple.
No, no, I can't do it. I will die.
- But-- - I told you I can't do it.
You don't have to do anything. Just meet them.
Wait.
I don't whine like women.
I think two men should have a serious discussion.
Dear, with the man inside me.
What people say is right.
Sardars are very innocent.
Very naive.
She keeps telling you to become Saba's father.
Saba's father.
So who is Saba's father to her?
Husband!
She likes you, you know?
That's why she brought you here, to her house.
Who else but us would bring a stranger into their home in this city?
It was love at first sight for her.
These intoxicating eyes...
pierced her heart.
How do you know?
The woman on the outside...
is also madly in love with these eyes.
These eyes...
They make you gravitate toward them.
She cooked food with so much love. Come and eat it.
I have a wife. I am married.
Your wife, your ex, is sitting in someone else's lap.
Your wife may be beautiful, but not more gorgeous than her.
One look at her is enough to make even the finest steed lose control.
How do you know?
The man inside me... has felt this way several times.
She is a friend of mine, but she still makes my heart race.
Anyway, leave it.
Listen, you shouldn't break someone's heart.
It's a sin.
You will go to hell for this, Sardar ji.
Come, let me take you to heaven.
Come on.
Isn't this a bit over the top?
The more skin you show,
the lower these men stoop.
- It's in their nature. - He is here.
He is here!
Oh, God!
A nobody like me could never bring himself to cause you tears.
I was joking.
Otherwise, how is it possible...
that my heart won't sway seeing "desi ghee."
And when you look at me?
I never looked at you from that point of view.
Then do it now.
BE A LITTLE POETIC
Placed my heart on a knife's edge
How do I live...
When my heart now beats for a Sardar?
What spell did you cast?
I lost my heart to you
What spell did you cast?
I lost my heart to you
Ward off all the evil eye
I insist on being your protector
Ward off all the evil eye
Keep me close to your heart
Lucky charm, lucky charm
Make me your lucky charm
Lucky charm, lucky charm
Make me your lucky charm
I don't care what's mine any longer
I am losing control over myself
I don't care what's mine any longer
I am losing control over myself
I want to be the anointment That adorns you
The kohl that graces your eyes
I am the trinket Wrapped around your leg
The fragrance that embraces you
Lucky charm, lucky charm
Make me your lucky charm
Lucky charm, lucky charm
Make me your lucky charm
Ate those sweet treats
The ones who fall in love Regret it every day later
They get totally stuck!
You've never seen a "laai"
Today you saw a sweet treat
This isn't your cup of tea, bro You just don't get it!
Ate those motichur laddus,
The ones who fall in love Regret it every day later
They get totally stuck, yeah!
You've never seen a "laai"
Today you saw a sweet treat
This isn't your cup of tea, bro You just don't get it!
Do you know? Why don't you know?
When you are away, I feel lost
The language of love... Speaks your eyes
Your radiance is like the moon...
I can feel your grace
Ward off all the evil eye
I insist on being your protector
Ward off all the evil eye
Keep me close to your heart
Lucky charm, lucky charm
Make me your lucky charm
Lucky charm, lucky charm
Make me your lucky charm
Lucky charm, lucky charm
I am your lucky charm
Ate those motichur laddus
The ones who fall in love Regret it every day later
They get totally stuck, yeah!
You've never seen a "laai"
Today you saw a sweet treat
This isn't your cup of tea, bro You just don't get it!
I am scared.
What am I going to say if they ask me something about the army?
They are not coming to see you.
They will ask Saba questions, not you.
Oh God, they brought an entire army.
- Baby... - Gogi...
- It's the aunt, son. Not your baby. - Baby.
- Didn't I tell you...
Greetings, Uncle. Say hello.
Where is our brother?
- Brother? - You fools.
I'm over here.
Leave the gifts here and get out.
- Go out, everyone. - Leave.
Idiots.
Keep it here.
- Greetings. - Greetings.
Dad. Meet Dad.
Are you the colonel?
Brother...
I salute you.
I bow my head with respect before you.
Brother, which battalion is this?
Idiots.
We are not soldiers for the colonel to salute us.
It's the mark of a true soldier.
Why are you standing? Please, take a seat.
- Yes, please take a seat. - Please, please.
Take a seat, sister.
- Come, Dad. Feel at home. - Wow!
- Sit. - Of course.
Enjoy your meal.
Brother, which battalion are you from?
No, we are not supposed to tell you that.
Why don't you see the girl?
Our Gogi has already seen her.
We just came to meet you, Colonel sir.
Which battalion?
No, we are not supposed to tell you that.
Have some snacks.
Yes. Here.
No formalities, please.
We're family now.
Everyone in our family is a British citizen.
We came here to ask for your daughter's hand.
Why just her hand? Take her entirely.
Go pack your bags, dear.
It was nice meeting you. God bless.
Hey!
Your sense of "hummer" is just like ours.
- Yes. - Sense of "hummer"?
Bro, that's humor.
Why don't you tell us one of your border stories,
where you beat the crap out of the Pakistanis?
Yes.
Brother, let's not talk about war.
This is an auspicious moment.
Try these fritters. It's totally desi.
With mint sauce.
Sister, this mint sauce is not half as good
as crushing the Pakistanis to a pulp.
Go ahead, Colonel sir.
Tell us how you crushed the Pakistanis.
Brother, share an incident from the border.
Once upon a time,
we were fighting at night.
The Air Force couldn't come to our aid.
Command told us to abandon our post and fall back.
But they left the final decision to me.
And my decision is...
I, Major Kuldeep Singh, will not desert my post.
Now, your decision is in your hands.
If anyone tries to run after making this decision,
I will shoot him.
And God forbid,
if my determination falters and I try to run,
then you may all shoot me.
He's narrating the story of Border as Sunny Deol.
Fire!
I said, whether anyone stays or not...
I won't leave my motherland in the hands of my enemies.
I would rather die than fall back.
Now he's Suniel Shetty.
Aren't you Ghulam Dastagir?
A rodent born in the sewers.
If you set foot here,
I will bury you in the sewers you crawled out of.
Why are you quiet now?
Sunny Deol.
Look... they are setting foot on my motherland.
I am coming, Mother.
Give me strength, Mother.
Suniel Shetty again.
Bro, he keeps switching between Suniel Shetty and Sunny Deol conveniently.
And I said...
If it is just me, I have no importance.
If it is just you, you have no importance.
Bro, now stop him, he's switched to Jackie Shroff.
Yes.
Bro, we asked you to tell us one of your border stories,
not the story of the film Border.
You fools.
Films are "expired." Don't you know?
Expired?
Border must have been inspired by our brother here.
What happened then, brother?
What else, brother?
I gave those Pakistanis a run for their lives.
They begged me to spare them, but I wasn't going to.
What happened?
One second. I'll be right back.
Jassi, come inside.
Come on.
Why are you saying such negative things about our country?
Oh, my God!
You are Pakistanis?
Why do you look so surprised?
What problem do you have with Pakistanis?
You guys detonate bombs in my country.
We don't detonate bombs.
We are giving you our bomb.
Earlier, you were only feminine.
Now you are feminine and also Pakistani.
I realize you guys tricked me.
Don't act so naive. I know everything.
First, you showed her dreams, and now you are abandoning her.
All men are the same.
That's why I quit and became a woman.
Don't say a word against our country.
Or else...
we will call your mom.
- My mom? - Yes, your mom.
Any other battles, brother?
We didn't win all the wars, brother.
Once we were surrounded.
Those Pakistanis beat us to a pulp.
I begged and pleaded with them.
And finally, they let me go.
Otherwise, your brother wouldn't be alive today.
You call this alive?
You call yourself alive?
You're a dead man! What a coward he is!
We don't want any relation with them. Let's go.
Brother, should I chop off this traitor's head?
Hold on, brother. He was only joking.
You know his sense of humor.
It was a joke.
- It was a joke. - Joke.
- Just a joke. - Joke?
- What kind of joke was this? - Sit down.
Sit down.
It was a joke.
Just a joke.
It was a joke.
What did happen?
What happened?
Even you know the story.
Tell them.
Of course.
He beat those Pakistanis to a pulp.
They begged, and then he finally let them go.
Tell them how they wrote "sorry" by drawing lines with their nose.
Right?
Yes, they did.
It's in their nature, sister.
They could make a donkey their father to serve their purpose.
Okay, then. Come over and we'll have a grand wedding.
- We don't want a single penny. - Congratulations.
I will handle everything.
It's a moment of joy.
How about we shout some slogans on this occasion?
Yes.
- Long live... - India!
Long live--
Oh! Oops, my bad.
- We are ready now. - Ready.
Sorry, sorry.
That's the problem.
We feel ashamed to even shout slogans.
- Not at all. - There is no shame in patriotism.
- No, we are ready. - Ready.
- So, let's do it. Say with me. - Yes!
- Long live... - India!
Only wine for me.
Wine diet.
I am not going.
Why not?
What drama is this now?
You are the one doing drama.
First, you told me to talk on the phone.
Then you say it's only for two hours.
And now this new drama. I am not--
You don't have to do anything now.
Just attend the wedding, eat, drink, and dance.
That's it. Just have fun.
I don't want to have fun.
What about this type of fun?
No... we are currently not doing any transactions with you Pakistanis.
But we are giving you a chance.
Marry her. Make her Indian.
- Do it. Do it. - Be a true patriot.
- Yes. - Do it.
But... I am scared of flying.
Can we travel by car?
No.
Did you come from India in a car?
Such drama.
That...
What was it?
- What? - Speak up.
- That... - Speak up.
Bro, I am scared of flying on airplanes.
What... Take this.
After eating this, you can fly in a rocket.
Watch the fun.
Yes!
Man, where will I get opium for you now?
It must be available somewhere.
Opium comes from poppy flowers, technically.
I know where it can be found.
This opium is made from those same flowers.
I get it. They kept the opium in the dead body's pocket.
Good smuggling idea.
Any more bright ideas?
These poor white folks offer poppy flowers in memory of the dead.
And guys like us are ready to raid it.
Come on.
Let's go.
- Yes. - Madam.
We were in front of the line.
But we have a flight.
Oh, no. Guddi has a flight.
Guddi?
Give it.
Thank you. But what do we do with it, Uncle?
It's black gold, dear.
Make tea of its fruit and drink it.
This turns a person into an airplane.
Son of Sardar
- Welcome. Welcome. - Hello.
Jassi, stop.
- Dad, please... - Jassi, stop.
Why did he grab the gun?
- Colonel sir... - Oh, God!
- Careful... - Hello.
- You will die. - Colonel sir.
Congratulations. Congratulations.
- Brother... - Colonel sir!
- Listen to me. Dad? - Jassi. Jassi.
Let's go.
Let's go. Let's go.
Stop, stop, stop!
- Jassi. - What happened?
Why did you stop the car?
- Jassi, stop. - Jassi!
Jassi, stop.
Preity Zinta, right?
Brother has planted a girl in his field who has dimples on both cheeks.
Hello.
Jassi.
Who are you?
Greetings.
- Tony. - Yes?
Does this man look like a soldier to you?
- Brother... - Doesn't look like one to me.
Try laughing once in a while, bro.
Mashallah. Ma...
Glory to Baba ji. Glory to Baba ji.
- Glory to Baba ji. - Glory to Baba ji.
Let's dance.
Sir, after decades, I've seen my brother so happy.
He was burdened with his daughter's responsibility.
But as soon as he met your family, the happiness drove him crazy.
Greeting everyone who welcomed him with open arms.
Let's dance.
- Silly. - Let's dance.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart
for being the reason for my brother's happiness.
You descended into our lives as an angel.
You are a solid woman.
Your words carry weight, like a man's.
Look. Like brother-in-law, like sister-in-law.
They are brother-in-law and sister-in-law. Allah save them.
- Glory to Baba ji. - Glory to Baba ji.
Don't wear sunglasses You look pretty anyway
Now that's called round on top and a hole at the bottom.
Sardar is getting his son married to a dancer.
When disaster is near, people often make poor decisions.
Probably the old Sardar doesn't know.
And the son was mesmerized by her beauty.
Sad.
Tyagi.
Brother has a grudge with them.
He should be happy.
A dancer is becoming Raja's daughter-in-law.
I am telling you. The Sardar will become a public spectacle.
Don't you know?
What?
Raja's Premlata is the apple of our brother's eye.
But he's got a strong enmity with Raja.
What will Brother Bantu choose between love and enmity?
We must stop this wedding, Keshav.
Let me introduce you to our English mom.
Greetings, Auntie.
She was an amazing pole dancer.
What? Really?
My friends told me that I must watch pole dancing.
- You think Auntie still does pole dance? - Be quiet.
Since you are also family now,
I will open my heart and tell you the Sandhu family story.
Playboy Ranjit Singh was born
in the house of Sampuran Singh Sandhu.
Ranjit Singh, the truck driver. My papa.
He went to Bihar and had a love marriage with my mother,
and an arranged marriage in Punjab with Titu-Tony's mother.
Thus began the battle of dominance in the family.
Love marriage versus arranged marriage.
To escape the feud, Ranjit Singh went to England to earn money.
Our English mom used to sing and dance in the England club,
and Ranjit Singh used to clean the dishes.
While cleaning the dishes, he bowled over our English mom.
No more Bihar's mom or Punjab's mom.
The Playboy pulled off another blunder.
Just like our country came together when the British invaded us,
Punjab and Bihar united when this white lady came home.
We were sent to England.
First, we broke our father Ranjit Singh's legs.
And sent him back to our mothers.
And, brother, we've been looking after our English mom ever since.
She's a sweetheart.
Yeah.
But, brother, these singers and dancers are not good people.
They wreck homes...
whether it's a love marriage or an arranged one.
Not good.
We endured this pain, brother.
But can't you tell from my Hindi that I'm in cultural shock?
And second, we may look decent, but we're not.
With this much wealth and property, enemies come with the package.
We kill at least half a dozen every year.
Our dogs have a feast.
And we plant them in our fields and turn them into scarecrows.
And that wasn't Preity Zinta.
That was Lin Ping from China.
I found out that Lin Ping's heart was corrupt.
And Lin Ping, we killed.
I don't like dishonesty.
I am an honest man.
I love India.
But you are a soldier, so that's that.
If he had brought a Pakistani girl here...
I would have chopped off his legs and sent him to his grandpa.
I'm so afraid I might have a fever.
We don't meet any of Raja's standards.
You're a Pakistani, dancers, and liars.
Say something.
Unbelievable. A man, and you're scared?
Look at me. Not once did the man in me feel fear.
Let the man in him step up and be the father.
I will pay for surgery. Spare me.
This is not funny.
Just keep doing what you are doing. You are doing fine.
A daughter's father is always emotional.
If anyone asks, just...
No, no. I--
Yes, Mom. Jassi is in the bathroom.
My friends have come over.
We are going shopping.
- Oh, shopping? - Yes.
- Are you alright? - Yes, dear.
We miss you a lot, Mom. Can't tell you how much.
Even Jassi misses you.
Jassi is giving us a hard time. Yes.
You just needed the right dosage.
Still feeling sick?
Listen. Call up Jassi and ask what he's doing.
Yes.
- Hello? - How much longer?
Come soon.
Yeah, we're on the way.
Just don't step out of the room, okay?
I was--
Hello?
Jassi, you can meet my sister-in-law later.
But first, you have to see a pole dance in London.
Auntie. Need your blessings.
Bless you.
Auntie...
can you still dance?
- You dance... this age? - Yes.
- No. - Yes.
No.
Want to see?
Yes!
Yes, Auntie.
Come on, Auntie.
Even apes in India can't pull this off.
Aunt's wild like a monkey.
Faster, Auntie.
I must be the first Jatt from my hometown to see a pole dance.
Come on, Auntie.
Oh my!
Yes, Auntie.
Where did she go?
You are amazing.
Go for it!
Auntie! Auntie?
Aunt is a real Barbie doll.
So flexible. Come on, Auntie.
Auntie?
Auntie, move.
Stop it, Auntie.
Auntie?
Auntie.
Auntie!
Auntie...?
Jassi, you could've folded the clothes and put them away in the cupboard.
I folded their mom, isn't that enough?
What?
I mean, Auntie fell, folded up like this,
and bid the world farewell.
What?! Are you crazy? You killed an old woman!
- What is wrong with English Mom? - Oh, no!
- Mom! - Why did you kill the old woman?
- What's wrong? - Titu-Tony.
How did this happen?
- Can somebody call the doctor? - How can she die like this?
- Mom... - Oh, my God.
Mom!
He killed an old woman, and makes it sound so casual.
Where did the Sardar go?
He jumped out the window and ran away.
- Jassi. - Jassi, stop.
- Jassi, listen. - Jassi, stop.
I want to see my mom, not God.
You'll definitely get caught if you run.
They will get suspicious.
Jassi, do you think Raja's going to spare you?
I told you before, I can't do it.
- You guys got me in trouble. - We got you in trouble?
Who told you to lock horns with the old hag?
Couldn't you sit in one place for a while?
It's okay.
You haven't done anything, Jassi. She fell and died on her own.
It was just an accident.
- Yes. - Relax.
Let me go. I am done.
- I cannot handle this. - Go on.
Yes, go on.
Will you call my mother?
No, I won't. You can actually go.
If his father doesn't care, why should you?
She could have eloped and gotten married.
But you put us in this situation.
Hey!
She didn't put any of us in this situation.
You don't know anything about us.
She put herself in this situation for us.
I guess we've to tell him the truth.
Gul...
Saba is not Rabia's daughter.
She is her older sister Zeenat's daughter.
Danish pressured her family after Zeenat's death,
claiming he could not take care of such a small child.
He married her.
Gul, leave it.
Leave. Go on.
- One minute. - Go on.
Look, Sardar ji.
We used to sing, dance, and play the drum at weddings there too.
And be humiliated every day.
Mehwish is such an open girl
that people thought it was an open invitation for everyone.
And you know the condition of people like me,
what happens to them in my country.
For the sake of that child and for us, she destroyed her life.
You see us chuckling all the time?
It's because of her.
We could even jump into a fire for her.
You can leave if you want.
And don't worry about us.
We'll tell them that Colonel sir got orders from the border and had to go.
Saba has an opportunity.
Her life can be saved if we stick together.
My grandma used to say,
"Sardars never take advantage of anyone's situation."
I knew... you wouldn't ask for anything in return.
Don't think we couldn't find someone else.
You know what, we made a mistake.
Leave. I honestly want you to go.
Are you running away?
Let's go.
Son of Sardar
Let's go.
Son of Sardar
Bro...
Raja's English mom is dead.
The family must be emotional.
We'll go there and explain to them politely
not to let their son marry a dancer.
Brother, what if he doesn't listen?
Then I'll shove a gun in Raja's mouth instead of a lollipop.
Understood?
- And tell his father... - What?
that God has taken your life partner.
If you don't listen, I will take away your life support.
- Because the gun has a hole. - Mummy is on the pole.
Why were you in such a hurry to leave us?
Who is going to call Raja's father "baby" now?
Who will Raja's father call "Billo" now?
You should have given Titu and Tony a little brother to play with.
Who is going to say, "Love you, miss you, my sweetie pie"?
Who will dance on the pole for Raja's father?
You should have taught us your art.
We would have danced for Ranjit.
Brother, are these females mourning or hitting on our father?
Uncle, moye-moye-moye-moye.
It's a bit over the top. Control.
- Listen. - Yes?
You don't have to cry.
We hired them to set the atmosphere.
They are hired. You can relax.
Brother,
any clue who killed Auntie?
You killed me!
Auntie was so happy.
She used to dance on the pole like a bat.
She used to swirl in midair with one arm like this.
Bro, how do you know how our English mom would swirl in the air?
What?
She came in his dreams.
How do you know she came in his dreams?
Because she came in my dreams first.
She said, "Bye.
Now I am going into your brother's dream."
It's really sad.
I am Bantu Pandey.
Your neighbor.
It happens. It happens.
This is terrible.
But expect more bad things to come.
Yes.
This Raja only has brawn, but no brains.
But you are an educated and modern father.
Does anyone bring a dancer into the house?
Watch her perform, squander some money, and kick her out.
Get over your hangover.
What is he saying about my grandma?
But you brought her home. Who treats a dancer like this?
What is the society going to say?
Raja's father is round on top and hole at the bottom.
Who is this extra small man?
Throw this jerk out!
Come on, milkman.
- Useless person. - Mom's slippers.
- If English Mom hadn't died, - Who invited him?
- I would have killed you today. - Get out!
Cancel Gogi's wedding as well.
The wedding cannot happen for 40 days.
There's been a death in the house.
But this is a natural death, Grandpa.
So, shall we call a DJ?
Almighty God, we receive in your promise of love, joy, and peace.
In your mercy.
In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
Amen.
We need the flowers.
Not for me, for the old man.
We've to spend 40 more days.
We'll definitely get caught.
We've got to keep the old man happy too.
What are you doing, brother?
Brother, we are selfish people.
We've burdened her with our emotions.
At least let the spirit connect directly with God.
What about the ten sacks of soil we poured over her?
Should we also take that out?
Why are you bearing it? Get rid of the burden.
Brother, we're the bride's family.
And these are the feelings of the groom's family.
I will keep it safe in a flower pot.
Uncle, drink some tea.
You haven't eaten anything since yesterday.
Losing a life partner is not easy.
Twenty-five years. That's how long we've been together.
We'll get Gogi married later.
Right now, it's not appropriate to talk about it.
You decide what to do.
Whether you want to stay or leave.
Whatever you like.
Death...
is inevitable!
She is gone now, dear.
But you don't have to go.
Family functions are also important.
It's a natural death.
If someone had killed her,
I would have grabbed his neck with my hand
and chopped it off.
Raja, my son.
Prepare for the functions.
- No, no... - Small one.
I don't drink, brother.
God, it's such a boring party.
- No, thank you very much, brother. - You must...
Should we have a drink?
No.
- Yes...? - No.
Only one.
One means one.
Done.
One minute.
One more. No one saw us.
- Don't do it, please. - Have a drink.
- Two shots won't do any harm. - She is right. Please, don't do it.
She is happily smiling She looks beautiful
She is happily smiling
She looks beautiful
The girl at her own...
The girl dances at her own wedding
Who does not eagerly wait for this day?
Marriage takes place only once
Look into my eyes
Make me shake my body with your hands
Fire ignites in cold weather
The girl at her own...
The girl dances at her own wedding
I am wearing red bangles And a red outfit
I flutter like a peacock
The girl is totally intoxicated By your love
She is in awe of you
What to tell you about my body?
It does not get tired Even after dancing all night
The way your beloved dances...
No one dances like that in the world
She keeps saying that She does not have any competition
The girl at her own...
The girl dances at her own wedding
I have bloomed like a flower
I have stolen your heart
You must be thinking, dear
How did you get such a beautiful girl?
In your name I dance and enjoy in the pub
The girl at her own...
The girl dances at her own...
The girl dances at her own wedding
- Where is Jassi? - The girl at her own...
Come on, let's do Bhangra!
Stop this singing and dancing!
If Dimple doesn't want to live with you, then so be it.
That's her choice.
I am your mother.
I know.
The person talking to me with a mask on her face
was not Dimple.
You couldn't save your marriage,
yet you were helping someone else settle down.
Look...
Sardars have always fought for others.
But you forgot one thing.
When a Sardar stands up for someone,
he never turns his back.
Right now, you are making a mistake by deserting them.
Come back only when that girl is settled.
And don't abandon them halfway.
Don't desert them.
Alright, Mother.
Alright.
I always knew something was wrong.
How were they singing and dancing?
These dancers wreck homes.
They wrecked ours as well.
Where is Sardar?
Where is your Sardar?
Where is the colonel?
Brother, try laughing once in a while.
You have a frown on your face when it's time to celebrate.
No decent woman can dance like this.
What is the scene?
The scene is her daughter's wedding,
inner happiness, Rajasthan's ghoomar,
Gujarat's dandiya,
Maharashtra's lezim during the immersion ceremony,
gidda, bhangra, which exist in every home.
Which religion or community doesn't have dancing?
The richer you are, the more intimately you dance,
the poorer you are, the more distance you maintain.
Bharatanatyam, bhangra, kathak, tango, salsa, kuchipudi.
And it's not kachipudi, brother. It's kuchipudi.
Ballet, locking-popping.
- Pole dance. - Pole dance!
There are so many forms. Who isn't dancing?
You keep talking about Border.
Even your Sunny Deol dances.
O beloved of mine In this meeting of ours
Can there be a wedding without dancing?
Doctors call dancing a medicine.
Gym owners call dancing an exercise.
People found divinity through dancing,
and you say you have a problem with dancing, brother.
So what?
Yes?
So what if she likes to sing and dance?
It's an art, brother.
Yes, it's an art.
Even I was impressed by their English mom's art.
But these jerks... call me a pervert!
Brother,
she was only dancing.
But you made up your own story.
Leave it, brother.
It was very disrespectful of you. Let's go.
Son of Sardar
I thought you ran out on us again.
I did, child.
But God did not put betrayal in our blood.
He makes us sacrifice our heads...
but doesn't let us turn our backs.
We'll only go back after you get married.
His hugs are strong Even in his curses there's care
He's the perfect blend Of action and emotion
Son of Sardar
I am going on a walk with Gogi.
You can't.
I have to.
You two are not married yet. You can't go.
- She used to go out with him even before. - Earlier I was--
I wasn't her father.
Even I have a reputation.
Oh, please.
He is so naive.
I am not naive. I am very clever.
You don't know kids these days.
Always looking for a chance to spend time together.
Go on.
But, I said--
Be quiet. Absolutely quiet.
She is not looking for any opportunity. She is giving us an opportunity.
I see. But why?
So that we can both sit here and discuss
the international politics of our nations.
I don't know politics.
They were making me the village chief.
But I chose not to be a candidate.
My naive Sardar, she left us alone
so that I could thank you properly for yesterday.
I see.
Then say it.
Why do you have to touch me to say thank you?
Even you... touched me.
Me? When? Where?
Here.
Oh, my God! That's a lie.
I meant my soul. You touched my soul.
Soul?
Soul...
Go ahead, thank me.
Why is your soul knocking even before you said thank you?
It's not my soul, someone's knocking on the door.
- Hi. - Why?
The tent guy is here.
Brother Raja is calling you downstairs to pick a color.
You dare ask me to pick a color after crushing my rainbow.
Pick anything you like.
Well, Father wants to have tea made by you.
He's been insisting since morning.
Why don't you show us how it's made?
No, no, I will get it.
I am the bride's father. It's my job to serve him.
Go ahead. I will get it.
- The old man's hooked on. - What?
Nothing.
Something is wrong, brother.
This man is totally out of the syllabus.
If I find out he's wrong, I will chop him to pieces.
Put a lid on it, brother. You cross all limits.
Come on.
We'll have to find the poppy flower again for the old man.
Do you want the thank you?
Here?
- Someone might see us. - Who is going to see us here?
They can't see us now.
What does it do?
You fool, that's not how you--
Have some, Sardar ji. For my sake.
She's the sight for my sore eyes
Can't live without them
I have four sweethearts, my love
The first is you The second is you
Third is you, fourth is you
The first is you The second is you
Third is you, fourth is you
The first is you The second is you
Third is you, fourth is you
The first is you The second is you
Third is you, fourth is you
Shunned by the world
We drifted like lost stars
Even the waters were bitter Unfit to quench my thirst
So helpless... we all were
If I hadn't found you Death was my only relief
I'm a sinking ship You're the shore
You made my life better
I have four sweethearts, my love
The first is you The second is you
Third is you, fourth is you
The first is you The second is you
Third is you, fourth is you
The first is you The second is you
Third is you, fourth is you
The first is you The second is you
Third is you, fourth is you
I was unaware
Looking into your eyes Was like looking into God's
It now resides in my breath
Walks beside me always
Your shadow walks beside me
I thought only about you
Since you entered my life
I found peace...
But lost my slumber
You...
You, you, you...
I thought only about you Since you entered my life
I found peace... But lost my slumber
But I lost my slumber
She's the comfort for my eyes
Can't live without them
I have four sweethearts, my love
The first is you The second is you
Third is you, fourth is you
The first is you The second is you
Third is you, fourth is you
The first is you The second is you
Third is you, fourth is you
The first is you The second is you
Third is you, fourth is you
Uncle, tea.
Uncle.
Tea.
What an outstanding artist Kim was.
She would wrap herself around the pole
better than a python.
Actually, she was also my love.
One day, she said to me, "You touched me here."
Only a fool would snap out of such a romantic moment.
I just froze.
Uncle, all is not lost yet.
Live your life.
Go out for a jog.
You might run into another artist.
Good night and sleep tight.
Thank you.
Mom was right.
Whatever He does, He does for the best.
He's never unfair to anyone.
Raja, my son.
She's your Aunt Janet from France.
Auntie is a very talented artist, son.
I found her while jogging.
She does bachata.
I like her art as well.
Son...
say hello to Auntie.
I said, say hello to Auntie.
Hello.
Hi.
Come, let us have a Patiala drink.
What is bachata?
It's a type of dance that involves wrapping legs around.
How did he get fit enough to go jogging?
But... who healed him?
Come, brother.
- Let's go. - Bachata.
Time to test your aim, brother.
Please, brother. You continue.
It's all the same to me, whether at home or on duty.
It's boring for me.
You guys continue.
Not for me, brother. Do it for these nincompoops.
They barely hit one target after firing forty rounds,
and they also waste my bullets.
Come, brother.
Show us, brother. Give us training.
We will obviously take advantage of a soldier who has come home.
Come on.
- Learn. - Yes.
- Pay attention. - Yes.
Should I, brother?
It's loaded, brother.
- No, no, no... - It will fire.
- It's loaded, brother. - Loaded. Loaded.
Loaded.
That way.
The colonel has no aim.
Did you see my aim, brother?
But the bottle is intact.
Children break bottles.
There was a fly sitting on the cork of the bottle.
I crushed it.
Sardars don't break bottles. They break men.
How cheap!
Remember what I said? What did I tell you?
I came riding on two tanks.
So, when a guy has tanks, will he play with firecrackers?
Bro, I have a tank.
You play these childish games.
Go and play. Go on.
Something's wrong, brother.
The guy looks like a defaulter.
Run faster...
This Sardar almost died today.
He handed me a gun.
Good thing I used my head at the right moment
and said I handle tanks and not guns.
And those idiot guys totally bought it.
Bravo, my love.
You've grown smart in my company.
Right.
Try testing me now. Go get a tank.
What happened, Colonel sir?
It's just a tank.
You must have driven dozens of tanks.
We really enjoyed it,
except you.
As our guest, we cannot say no to you.
Come on. Get in the tank.
Come.
We got you this gift with immense love.
Accept it, brother. Please.
Come on, brother.
Let's go. Get in the tank. Come on.
Come on...
Brother, where is the steering?
Total fraud.
Let's chop his head off, brother.
Just joking.
Try laughing once in a while.
Hello.
Sir. Colonel speaking, sir.
Need your permission to drive a tank.
Stop it.
He's been fooling around since yesterday.
Bad connection.
- Is it nice? - Yeah...
Oh, man! Hold on a second.
What is it?
Sir, my friends have brought a tank for me.
If I don't get permission, the entire battalion will die a dog's death.
Like a dog.
Like a dog?
Permission. Or all dogs die.
What the hell!
Now you understand. Like dogs.
- Mehwish. - Yes?
- Google now. - Google?
- How to drive a tank? - Tank?
The one that fires explosives.
Copy, sir.
Got the permission.
Mom, what did your son get himself into?
Why did I have to tell them that I drive tanks?
I should have told them that I make rotis.
Mom...
Finally, we will separate the truth from the lies.
I'll grab that goat boy, Raja, and slap him tight.
How can you let those dancers fool you?
Look where you are going...
Look at that.
We are trying to save a family's reputation, snake.
Go over there and do your business.
Go, get well soon.
- It was a snake, brother. - Snake?
- Yes. - Oh, my God!
Connect. Connect.
No network.
In the army...
What is this, man?
The soldier managed to start it up.
- Colonel. - Out of the way.
Is it armed?
Of course, it's armed, brother.
- Out of the way. - Don't...
- Brother, we've invited our own death. - Save my palace.
Stop. Stop
Come on, boys. This way.
Out of the way.
- Brother, what are you doing? - Go stop him, man.
Jassi.
- Where are you going? - Jassi, stop.
- Stop. - Jassi, stop.
Out of the way.
Stop.
- I accept you are a real soldier. - Stop.
Out of the way.
Stop. Stop. Stop.
Eena Meena Maina Mo Catch a tiger by its toes
If he hollers, let him go
We are here now.
Now there's going to be...
Bang!
- Oh, my God! - Bantu?
- What's happening? - Hey!
Before he fires again,
- make a run for it. - Yes!
What is happening here?
What...
- Who is firing that thing? - Hey, Bantu!
I won't let you go.
Stop.
This Sardar is firing at us from a tank.
Stop, you fools.
He isn't ready to listen.
- He's a madman. - I agree, brother!
Any more tests left to do?
I am the bride's father under a lot of burden.
If anyone else had made fun of soldiers,
swear on God, I would have chopped off his head.
His head.
Brother, is Gadar also inspired by him?
Real soldier, fake soldier.
He's a one-man army.
Can't you see he's the incarnation of Rambo?
Sorry, brother.
Colonel sir, you were simply amazing.
If more like you were available in shops,
I would have exchanged my three sons for you.
No one's going to buy them.
Brother, why didn't you show up? They beat me to a pulp.
You think he's not a soldier?
He can drive a tank.
Yes?
I am Dimple. Jassi's wife.
- Greetings. - Greetings.
Where is Jassi?
Don't wear sunglasses You look pretty anyway
These eyes...
- Leave me speechless - They're killing me
Your eyes are so stunning...
Everyone wants to see them
Why do you hide them?
Don't wear sunglasses You look pretty anyway
Let's begin with the rituals.
Mom and the new mom.
Hello.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
Amazing.
Thank you. Thank you. And this is for you.
This wasn't necessary.
Congratulations.
Curse that bloody clown.
I am sorry.
- It's a great day. Great day. - Yes, great day. Yes. Of course.
- Congratulations. Gul! - Raja!
- Look. - Now the aunties from both sides.
Come up.
I'd dance at his sister's funeral.
Where did he come from?
Who?
Saba's real father. Danish.
If the real one's here, can I leave?
- Hey... - Wait.
You wait. I'll take Gul.
- Be right back. - Let's go, Gul.
Now for the uncle from both sides.
Better ask him if he needs anything.
He's a very important guest. Yes.
It's your daughter's wedding today.
Saba?
I see. You tricked some really rich people.
Yes, they are big people.
They think I am a housewife.
Long story short. How does it matter to you?
You left us anyway.
So, please let things continue the way they are.
Saba will settle down.
Now for the fathers from both sides.
- Fathers. Come on. - Go on, Fathers!
Who is that guy?
And why is he performing the ritual?
Wonderful.
He is our neighbor. Our new tenant.
Since there is no man in the house,
we made him perform the rituals.
- What neighbor? What is his name? - Hold on.
Listen, Mr. Danish. You are having fun with the Russian.
Go ahead. Have fun. Enjoy.
We don't care.
But spare us.
Leave.
We don't want any trouble here. Leave. Please. Go.
Congratulations. Congrats.
Since when did damn neighbors start performing the rituals?
Saba. Take this.
Stop!
How is this wedding possible without me?
That's my blanket, which this neighbor snatched.
Such respect for tenants?
And no respect for me?
No Punjabi wedding is complete without a few drunkards raising commotion.
This is a good omen.
Come, photographer. Come over here.
Keep his glass filled. Don't let it get empty.
- Come on. Photo. - Yes, photo.
Get closer, everyone.
What happened?
Is there anything lacking in our service?
Yes, there is. That's my blanket.
That's the auspicious blanket.
The couple will distribute blankets for beggars later.
Beggar? Do I look like a beggar to you?
You don't know who I am.
Go ask my madam?
Which madam?
The groom's mother is my madam.
- Yours? - Then, is she yours?
Don't move.
Enjoy, everyone. Enjoy.
- Come on, brother. - Everything is alright.
Say cheese. Say cheese.
Brother, he's saying she is his madam.
Who?
The bride's mother.
Brother, now that you know...
I had an affair with him.
It was a long-distance relationship.
Jassi was in India, and I was here.
Forgive me, brother.
Don't tell Jassi.
Danish is drunk.
Please tell Titu to get him out of here.
This is wrong.
One makes mistakes at a young age.
I didn't.
You haven't even reached youth yet.
Your father is still living his youth.
You'll become young when he grows old.
- Titu. - Yes, brother?
Get him out of here.
Yes, brother.
Thank you.
This is very humiliating, brother.
Sit.
You don't understand.
- This is a major issue. - Sit.
Get up.
He's telling me to sit,
- you're telling me to get up. - Get up!
Don't make a sound now.
Or else we'll beat you to a pulp.
That's my blanket, big man.
- Sardar ji, she is my madam. - Pin drop silence.
Where are we going, Sardar?
- Congratulations to you. - Thank you. Come.
Poor Sardar is so naive.
Got you.
Hi.
I have realized my mistake. Please forgive me.
Why did you come here? Let's talk later. Now leave.
No, no. I won't leave until you forgive me.
I know I don't deserve to be forgiven.
But you can punish me. Please punish me.
But you have a boyfriend.
He was more interested in your property than in me.
When he realized you won't part with it so easily, he ran away.
Please, forgive me.
- Please. Please. Please. - Okay, I forgive you.
- Now go. - No, I...
Where are you going, brother?
Don't look sad. I was looking for you.
Hold this.
Look, brother. These days, boys and girls are equal.
Like I am the boy's father and you are the girl's--
He... is the groom's father.
- I see. - Wish him.
- Congratulations to you. - Thank you very much.
Who is this madam?
I am his wife.
Wife?
Please, brother.
Help me.
Long-distance relationship. I was in India, and she was here.
I made a mistake.
Now she's here.
If anyone finds out, it can mean trouble.
The wedding will get canceled.
I request you, brother.
This is wrong, brother.
Second marriage?
Brother...
there's going to be a fourth one in your family.
And you think my second is wrong?
Tony.
Get Father out of there.
He seems determined to set a new example.
And that madam too.
If a snake bites another snake, who gets poisoned?
They are both the same.
I'll get it done, brother.
Come with me, sister.
Madam, Jassi sent me. He told me everything.
I will solve your problem.
Come on.
Let me go outside, Sardar ji. You don't understand my problem.
Sit down!
No need to cause trouble at the wedding.
Doesn't a father have the right to attend his daughter's wedding?
It's my daughter's wedding.
- Is she your daughter? - Then, is she yours?
God, she's getting married.
- Brother. - Yes?
What happened?
He says even the daughter is his.
That poor soldier loves her more than his life.
- What is going on? - I don't know.
- Some more. - Yes, yes.
- Sister? - Very good.
- Yes? - No.
- Can you honestly tell me - Yes...
whose daughter she is?
- Mine. - I mean, who is her father?
Colonel sir.
Then why does your lover insist that she is his daughter?
Tell me.
Remember that month you met them both.
Yes... even we were confused.
- Yes. - Yes.
Yes, yes, even we were confused.
By the way, brother.
Your son is happy.
And what matters is that for the society, she is the colonel's daughter.
No one knows this secret.
- I do. - You're unbelievable, brother.
If she doesn't know, how would you know?
Raja ji.
Imagine your beautiful suit is made by Manish Malhotra.
The mark and brand are Manish Malhotra.
But these stitches and small details are the handiwork of the craftsman.
Not Manish Malhotra's.
Does that make any difference to you?
Doesn't make any difference to me.
- That's it. - That's it.
You're trotting around, and people are praising it.
That's all. Brand.
And this girl's brand is her father, the colonel.
Doesn't matter.
- Titu. - Yes, brother?
Bring Manish Malhotra and the craftsman.
Let's get both their blessings.
We don't know who stitched the suit.
Very good.
We'll finish our meal first.
Curse that Gogi boy.
I wonder where he found her.
My child. My child. My child.
Come on, guys. Let's shout slogans at this moment of joy.
- Long live... - India!
Brother.
What happened?
Whenever we are happy,
we proudly remember our nation.
Come on, say it.
- Long live... - India!
India might be a great nation.
But my Pakistan was great, is great,
and will forever remain great!
Say with me... Long live... Pakistan!
Wannabe Sunny Deol.
You...
What is this, sister?
How could you have an affair with a Pakistani?
Then even the daughter could be Pakistani.
Just her? All of them are Pakistanis.
How could she let my daughter marry a Sardar?
Had you been poor, I would have chopped off your heads.
But the rich don't have any religion.
My child.
- You... - Let go!
- Beat the rascal! - Hey, let go of him!
You got us stuck among Pakistanis.
Next time, he will tell you, brother.
Why are you hitting him?
Your patriotism is fake.
It's fake.
Shouting slogans proves nothing, Raja ji.
Do you want to see real patriotism?
Colonel.
Him. He is a true patriot.
He came as an undercover agent from India to Pakistan.
Mission was impossible.
But he had to fulfill it.
And for the sake of the mission, he married this girl.
- He had to. - Thank you.
On one side was a soldier who had to complete his mission.
And on the other was a Sardar, who couldn't abandon his feelings.
What choice did he have?
This man has made so many sacrifices for his nation...
And you can't make a small sacrifice?
Let it go.
Hello. Hello.
One, two, mic testing.
Good evening.
You, Jassi...
is not some colonel.
He's a Jatt who rears chickens and works in the fields.
Who is she?
Dimple.
Did you have to invite her?
I didn't send her an invitation.
I don't know how she got here.
In reality, the bride is his illegitimate child.
And the bride's mother is his mistress.
And all he does is unnecessarily argue with me.
Oh, God!
But sister, why did you two fight?
We had a misunderstanding.
What misunderstanding?
I... got involved with someone else.
People make mistakes when they are young, right?
Don't ask them.
It's a sin to provoke them.
Who are you guys?
They--
Leave hand.
Now you also stop it, Father.
You gave us more moms than people here had kids.
Titu-Tony, get their DNA checked.
We have to know what their breed is.
Loyalty is not in their blood.
It's rather a mobile than a relationship.
Everyone has two SIM cards.
Only this... manly-looking aunt looks honest to me.
Get the truth from her.
Manly?
She is a man.
She underwent surgery to become a woman.
Titu-Tony, pick me up and bash my head against the wall.
Brother, we are respected people.
Your character is a mystery.
Your lineage is a mystery!
And you think you're worthy of having any relationship with the Sandhu family.
We don't even let people like you near us.
This wedding is canceled!
Get out,
or I will shoot each one of you!
This wedding is canceled.
Who are you to decide?
My house, my decision.
Get lost, or you will die by my hands.
Run away.
It's your home,
but he is my son.
So, the decision will be mine. This wedding is canceled.
It's an unsaid rule among gangsters.
"Your mother is my mother."
But your son can't be my son.
Exactly, I don't mind when your mother is my mother.
But my son is only mine.
So, it will be my decision.
Ask the groom's mother.
Don't get me wrong, Premlata.
He's getting my son married to a dancer.
I tried to explain to him ten times.
But Sardar ji did not listen.
What nonsense is he talking about?
Before our marriage...
This happened before our marriage.
Before the marriage. This happened before our marriage.
This milkman?
I knew he would grow.
Why did you marry me?
Family pressure.
And I knew you would also grow.
Listen, guys. Does anyone here want to grow? Progress.
Come. Give us a chance to be of service, right?
No, no, how can you say this?
Look, that was my past.
Gogi was born in the seventh month,
but actually, he was nine months old.
Don't punish my son for my mistakes.
Forgive me.
Look... try to understand.
It was a mistake.
Rascal, I will kill you.
Kill me.
Go ahead and kill me.
But I will say one thing.
I never laid eyes on your family to date.
I disrespected Premlata only for the sake of my child.
Before I die, I would like to add.
Pammi always belonged to you,
still does, and always will.
Don't destroy your family.
For me, only you are my father.
I want to be with you.
I will do whatever you say.
I will marry her if you want me to.
And won't marry her if you don't want me to.
Just don't leave me, Father.
Even I am not leaving you.
I came to this house as your bride.
And my last breath will also be here.
I did not split myself with anyone, Raja ji.
I am completely yours.
Forgive me.
Sorry, Father.
Brother,
don't destroy your family.
We've been through it. Ask us.
People are not bad,
only the situation is.
You are facing the same situation as all of them.
Children love each other.
They will be happy.
Please, say yes.
Father...
For me, he is only my father,
and she is only my mother.
We are not wrong people.
All we do is perform at weddings.
But honestly...
we don't sell our honor.
- Forgive me... - No, dear.
Don't cry.
Be quiet.
Bantu...
Don't you want to see your son's wedding?
Brother...
Thank you, Father.
Titu-Tony, throw him out.
Get rid of the extra crowd.
Yes, brother.
Long live... Pakistan!
Pakistan...
- Long live... - India!
Brother, now you decide...
who you want to be with.
We have often been deceived by destiny
Our guardians have left us devastated
I have been shattered just like a star That breaks after reaching its peak
Tears flow from eyes consistently
But its water is bitter
The one who is in love
Can never be at peace
God, I have found no one who is mine
God, I have no complaints against you
God, I have found no one who is mine
Always talking about the rent.
She just lies on the sofa all day with that sulky face.
She is back.
- Hey, baby. - Hello.
- How are you? - Hi.
Baby, why did you raise the rent so much?
Who will pay?
Jassi was a generous man.
I mean...
you've doubled what you charged him.
- Reduce it slightly. - Yes, reduce it.
Just a little.
Don't try to be clever.
I see your tricks.
See, the new tenant is already here.
Are you sure...
you don't want to wait for Jassi?
He left with that witch in his arms.
Guys like him deserve girls like her.
Correct.
They never understand girls who care for them.
Anyway, to hell with him.
If anyone utters his name in this house, they will face my wrath.
Okay, tell him that we're flexible with the rent. Please.
- Slightly. - I hope he's not a Sardar.
Otherwise, I'm going to kill him.
Are you mad?
What is it?
I don't want any drama.
Tell me honestly, why are you here?
I came to say thank you.
Go say thank you to the one you left with.
I went to the hospital.
If there's an accident, quickly take them to the hospital.
That's the mark of a responsible citizen.
You put the apartment on rent again?
Yes. Are you going to live alone?
You will be living with me, right?
What?
At least say thank you now.
Yes.
Whenever he falls in love He fears no one
He would face even death for love...
This silly, fearless fool
Hey!
Who blew up my car?
Rohit.
What's up?
What are you doing here?
Preparing for Golmaal 5.
I see.
Brother, try laughing once in a while.